The Different Tongues Within
“Yo hhablo es-pan-your."
"Español."
“Es-pan-jour.”
“Noo español."
“Es-pan-oool.”
“No!”
¨Whatever.¨
Let’s just say, pronunciation is the key to communication, and communication is dependent on language. So shouldn’t I be able to know a language and communicate perfectly to others? Maybe, but that’s usually never the case. Language is a group of words in a dialect where you either butcher every syllable or swiftly glide through it like a plane. There is no in between, no if’s, and's, or buts; you just do it.
"El car-row azul."
“Carro.”
“Car-row.”
“CARRO.”
¨Car-row.¨
¨Forget it.¨
“Am I not saying it right?!”
“Roll your r’s!”
“I can’t.”
“Then, just stop.”
Either you say it correctly or you're like me, neglected because my r’s don’t roll off my tongue as perfectly as they are suppose to. People rejecting to respond to my sentences because the sounds don’t feel right against their ears. People judging my accent as if I should've had gotten it right the first time, but it wasn't that easy.
I remember, it was after my first Spanish one test, or should I say prueba. I was so happy that I got a good grade on it so I wanted to speak Spanish to every single Hispanic person I ever knew. I thought by my grade being high meant that I could speak fluent Spanish and understand it perfectly, but I was wrong. Elani Gonzalez- Ortiz; the first Spanish oriented person to walk pass.
“Hola, ¿cómo estás?”
“Muy bien, ¿y tú?”
“Muy bien.”
“kgfwuelagru ghruaggfk fhaiunfmsug.”
What had been a new birth of a language quickly turned into unknown jibberish. I wanted to ask, but I needed to figure this out. I was better than this; I KNEW SPANISH! I had gotten a ninety-five for a reason; and I was going to figure out what she was saying. It took me days, weeks, until I just gave up. Yup, that's exactly what I did, I gave up. I soon realized that Spanish wasn't for me; I was just another child denied by the world of Spanish and their foreigners. I accepted that role as a person, but for some particular reason somewhere in my heart still felt the need to be better than that. I felt, I wasn't going to be the test dummy to a society of a new profound language. I was going to make myself be heard, in Spanish, so I studied.
A’s and B’s seemed to constantly occur every marking period as a statement that I have gotten somewhere in my Spanish journey. Spanish sentences flowed so perfectly against my eardrums and all just seemed to all become one inside my head. So, I tried again.
“Hola, ¿cómo estás?”
“Muy bien, ¿y tú?”
“Estoy bien.”
“Oh, , tjyvgj ynhfgub ygjbyyj”
It happened again… I am officially done with Spanish.
Communicating within languages that aren’t foreign to you can be the biggest struggle you encounter throughout your life. This not only affects me but the people I am trying to communicate with. I only have two options in this situation, to either, further my knowledge within Spanish and become very well spoken, or stop talking to them at all. Either way I will always have a constant struggle upon me.
Currently I have an A in Spanish; currently I am becoming better than I once was yet again. I gave up and came back multiple times throughout my past years just to end up here. Sometimes I do wonder, why do I keep trying or why do I even care so much. But then I notice that if it wasn’t for my school’s constant requirement of taking Spanish classes and my love of Spanish music, then I wouldn’t be here right now. Spanish has been that language that seems to just grow with me. Whenever I feel like letting it go, it always seems to find it’s way back to me; and I am okay with that.
According to google’s very own definition resources, language is “the system of communication used by a particular community or country.” In this definition there are no limits or requirements of how much of that language you need to know. All that is needed is for you to be able to say a couple of those words to another person who also speaks it and then, you are considered a person who knows the language. Well, at least that is how I see it. This definition gives me is a reason for my hope, the reason for my devotion and dedication to Spanish; it gives me path that I will take.
I hung around too many Hispanic in my life, not to understand. Always feeling like the outcast was never a fun thing to me. I would purposely invite others who didn’t speak Spanish just to fill somewhat in place. But I always had that dream that if I could just learn to understand Spanish, I would be okay.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my foreign language of English, but sometimes you need to learn something new to feel better within yourself. English will always be my most dependent on language; it will always be my first resort of communicating. But being able to do both, English and Spanish will always be a reminder of where I started and how far I have came.
“Hola, ¿cómo estás?”
“Muy bien, ¿y tú?”
“Asombroso.”
“Oh, ¿por qué te sientes así?”
“Porque yo hablo español.”
“Y usted está hablando a la perfección!”
“Lo se, gracias.”
“¿Para qué?”
“For not rejecting me in a world of foreigners.”
Pronunciation is the key to communication, and communication is dependent on language. Without language, none of this would ever even be possible, so I take pride in my language. Language gives me my very own personal portal to the outside world. It allows me to understand everything near and around me as a person. My language gives me a chance to explain myself; it gives me my very own identity. I consider my language everything; my language is me. No words, dialect, accent, or symbol can change me from expressing who I am exactly; language gives me a voice.
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