The Vu

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15n6e1rxKHIao-dqCqot_4KdzQGiCwArxCZ4zb64V0Nw/edit

Comments (6)

Siani Davis (Student 2018)
Siani Davis

You did a great job developing the main character for your story. And he reminds me a lot of you; he talks how you talk. I also really liked the first sentence of your story, it was compelling.

Jamie Polson (Student 2018)
Jamie Polson

Malachi, I really liked this story. The whole idea of being able to time travel 15 minutes into the past but never being able to control it is a really cool and fascinating concept. You did a good job of setting up the story. Over all just good job malachi!:)

Olivia Cooper (Student 2018)
Olivia Cooper

Really interesting story. I liked the cool character names and the idea of a time travel story that only goes backwards and it didn't read like your average story. Good job!

Madison Militello (Student 2018)
Madison Militello

This is a fun story. You definitely put yourself in the place of the main character because these are all sentences you would say in real life. The concept of the "The Vu" is interesting and I liked how it was the first time the Vu had failed him.

Tito Mazzucchi (Student 2018)
Tito Mazzucchi

Reading about how Gareth Bale was acting like a beast was really entertaining for me. I wanted to commend you on being able to interestingly tell a time traveling story in a way which is different from the typical format. In your writing, you let the actions speak for themselves without having to invest much effort in explaining how it was that the main character was able to go back in time. Although short, the story's structure is proportional throughout thereby making it much more fluent and comfortable for the reader. Great work.

Kaamil Jones (Student 2018)
Kaamil Jones

Good job bro. I really like how you used elements from the areas that you said you were, like the sun and paparazzi, I also like how you decided to do something like a journal!