I enjoyed your story a lot and it even encluded the eport that you love the most. I think the dialouge covered what was going on in thebstroy very well and made it great for the reader.
I liked how you incorporated things you like from your own personal life such as hokey. I think that settings is really important in stories and you having the story set around the Olympics were pretty cool.
I think this story did well on conveying what is going on through dialogue. This allows the reader to interpret what is going on rather than being given everything by the narrator, which allows him or her to be more invested in the story.
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