This is America! by Jacobo Pastor

This is America! by Jacobo Pastor

Comments (4)

Kamil Kielar (Student 2019)
Kamil Kielar

The ending was very interesting seeing how you figured out to adapt to the situation instead of trying to change it. It was a unique way of playing things out in the story. The big understanding was also very interesting to see how you simply changed to fit in with everyone else.

Lucien Hearn (Student 2019)
Lucien Hearn

Hey man, this was really well written. You used a lot of creative language and made the reader feel very empathetic towards you. Aside from some grammar mistakes, this is fantastic. The only thing aside from grammar that I think you could fix is showing that you're from Spain earlier. The reader is left guessing what country you come from up until the last few paragraphs.

Autumn Lor (Student 2019)
Autumn Lor

Jacobo Pastor; This is America! The story is different that what I expected it to be. The title made me think that it was about you coming to america and how it's different but it's based on soccer. Most teams want you to play as a team, passing the ball but you have a strong augment of them not knowing how to be as a team. Not only that, but then you start to think that it could be a good idea to play as a solo soccer player. It starts to work at first then it backfires. The story was well written, the way you set up the story was great. Having that two year time difference is interesting because then the readers know how you've taken time to really understand the mean behind of what your coach said. How's the soccer life now? Is this dream of yours coming true, or closer than before?

James Klenk (Student 2019)
James Klenk

I really like your essay because it is really well written and also that I know you told me that Spain and the U.S played two different type of soccer but I never got the full view of what you were saying but this essay really helped me realize it. The ending really got me thing about people understanding and a simple shift for one way to another could affect the person.