Tyler Creighton English draft

Tyler Creighton 

English Essay Pahomov 

Do I sound like that ?

“Yo look at her hair its a hot ass mess”

“She’s just a whole f**king HAM”

“Do I look like that ?”

“ Of corse not”

“Oh ard betta not”

Behind the locker I automatically assume it’s the same group of people who always talking about people but this time I was wrong. To my surprise it was my group of friends I’m usually around. This kind of shocked me because I began to judge them by what they say and how they thought. I began to wonder to myself “Do I talk like that? Do other people hear me? What do they think?” But instead I quietly continue with what I was doing before hand.

“Ctfu I would never look like that”

“Total weirdo” 

 The chatter fades as the crowd of obnoxious girl teens walk away, I gather my things and leave.

As I was sitting on the bus on my way home later that day, I thought about the girls. I thought about how being out with these people reflects on me and what people think of me. The ignorance ,rudeness and obnoxiousness does it reflect upon me or am I apart of this? 

I could never see myself being as ignorant enough to say such things but then again I actually do. It’s become such a norm that I never even noticed what is being said or what other people hear. In school I hear my friends call people all types of names “weirdo” , or “ham” meaning  hot ass mess. I cant allow myself to be so open about my opinion or in other so harsh and be judged by people the way I'm judging them. I watch what i say around people so it wont be labeled as “Ghetto” or “Ignorant”. Although there are some parts I’m good at hiding this there are other things that are much harder. It’s a stereotype that young kids are very loud and this is what I have difficulty hiding. Most of the time it’s not even noticeable but when i do notice it and sit and listen i become a bit embarrassed and as wild as this sounds a bit disappointed.In my mind at the time staying quiet ,sitting was the only thing that was really right at that moment. 

Finally in their conversation as I listened I really began to think about these two words they say that i absolutely hate and just cant say so freely with out biting my tongue after or while I’m saying it. These are words i cant describe. They are just two words of ignorance. I feel its just so inappropriate and uncalled for. When said I feel the uerg to say something . But i don't because Im to afraid they are going to judge me on the way i speak and how its to proper “too white”. As said in ... “The curse of a moderately soulful kid trapped in a white body” Is the way I feel when I discuss these issues. It’s sort of similar to African american’s using the name nigger to categorize there color and white usually use the word dude to categorizes there , Its just what people have done over the years its “their word” .Their word meaning only their race color age or anything like them can say it and if you not in the category your wrong for doi  When I say the words the literally burn my tongue as the harsh words spits them out onto someone like burning venom. It kind of hurts me to hear these words because its a sign of disrespect and no home training.

Im not ashamed of my friends or no one else, but I also wouldn’t converse around a lot of people. Desperately I wanna be myself at times and not have to cover the way I speak and just be my self but being around people that make it that way, I cant.In the story (__) _____ Says “The brutal truth is that the bulk of white/black people in America never had a interest in educating black folks”. and my friends make it seem like we don’t have education. This quote gives me strength to be different from others and continue to sound educated. But the same way they sound different and at times uneducated to me I might sound different to many people also. My good sense tells me who i am and no matter whats around me and what I hear or how I talk I am still educated. This quote inspires to show my education by my vocabulary and expanding to to the biggest variety  as I can. Its not my job to change the minds and the way many people speak. But what I  can do is help my peers expand their vocabulary and listen and change how sound and alert others when they do also. One day I strive to  accept the way i speak and how everyone comes from different back rounds and I have to accept that to move on.