¨You Finally Understand¨

I feel like...i'm slowly falling apart

And you think you understand?

She´s Gone!

And all I have left to think about is

her laugh, her smile, her touch, her kisses

It’s been a year!

Sitting with her in the hospital, talking to her while she’s under… nevermind

“I'm tired of being in this hospital, take me home,” is what she said, and it made her realize she's getting tired of nurses that attempt to help her. .

But I knew when she goes home she won't be there for long.

I still hear her say to me, “Hey sweetheart, how you feeling?”

¨I know its hard but you will get threw it because you are a strong independent young lady, and i know you won't let nothing change that¨.

My mom told me when gram knew it was her time to go, she squished her hand tightly and looked her in the eyes and smiled.

My gram died from cancer, and I wasn't there when she passed

Walking into the room I seen everyone crying and my mom taking off her mask

I was Saying to myself ¨ This isn't real, please come back, I need you.

Remembering the first time when she feel out of bed and was rushed to the hospital

Her sitting in bed, getting sick as the days pass.

Do you understand now?

The stuffed nose, the redness in your eyes, the screams in the pillow

Did you know I cried myself to sleep every night.

And nobody, nobody understand the pain I'm going through.

Everytime I see an elder they  slightly resembles my grandmother.

I swear it's her… alive, here in front of me.

And you still say you understand?!

No, no you don´t,

I really miss her, my mom says she´s in a better place.

In a beautiful place called heaven.

Hey Gram,

I know your looking down on me.

Can you see me?

Me and mom try to make your delicious chicken and dumpling, but we can never get it and it makes mom sad because she wishes you were with her so you can teach her the recipe.

Can you hear me?

I need for you to hear me when I cry at night and tell me it's going to be ok, and you are always here with me.

I really really miss you

And I try not to be sad and I'm trying not to cry but it hurts and it's so hard

You feel my pain? You feel my pain?

Huh, Ridiculous…

People only notice someone when they are happy,having fun but never notice when they’re upset or scared.

And it hurts.

It hurts when you realize your tears aren't as important as your smile.The desire to cry, the desire of feeling sadness for someone who is no longer here

Is linked to emotional stress

But the most difficult thing is to stay moving on in life

But the easiest part is acting like everything is ok and pretending to wear a smile.

I’ma just stop explaining myself because i just realized all I needed was for someone to listen to me. So moving on, tomorrow i will continue to work on my improvements of moving on in life,But still having that section in my heart for my grandma.

Laugh!!!

Im so glad you understand me at the end.

So now you are willing to help me strive for excellent for my future goal and career.

Thank you so much!!