The world of The Road there is nothing but a “Cold. Desolate. Birdless.” (215) wasteland. There is nothing alive nor anything with color, and this emptiness has seeped into the hearts of the main characters, though mostly the father. Their hearts and minds have become as cold and as desolate as the wastes around them. With all they have seen, all they have done, there is nothing else to do but cut yourself off from the pain and emotion, and this is exactly the father wishes for, “If only my heart were stone.” (11). And at some point he is able to cut off a big part of that emotion and the wasteland is then “As gray as his heart.” (27), but not letting yourself feel and cutting off that portion of your heart will inevitably lead to loss of one’s identity and sense of self. Like the world around them these characters lose all sense of identity and become nothing more than a husk, nothing but an animal looking to survive, and most of the time that is exactly what they have to be. They do not have the freedom to be anything, and the moments when they do have that freedom are fleeting and ephemeral. The father says it best himself, “I’m not anything.” (64), these characters even lack one of the most important parts of identity - a name. At no point in this book do we ever learn the names of the boy or of the father, and in the end they remain mysteries, much like the wasteland they inhabit, cold, and gray, and desolate.

Songs: Matte Kudasai (1981) - King Crimson

https://youtu.be/eoAupjcnm1c?si=Mwg_hYjNdxg7JuoZ

I Talk to the Wind (1969) - King Crimson

https://youtu.be/UlKrH07au6E?si=gPDgsOOtm7T49GSa

Epitaph (1969) - King Crimson

https://youtu.be/vXrpFxHfppI?si=_hfIQnPxiOXcb7-O

Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed (1998) - Shiro Sagisu & Arianne

https://youtu.be/gfbTvv076dQ?si=nyUJ3DqVYX65MGFO

TalkTalk (2018) - A Perfect Circle

https://youtu.be/-aOyAvbj2Fg?si=4Ol5lO7QFN3bUCAs

Connections:

Matte Kudasai (1981): Matte Kudasai, from the 1981 King Crimson album Discipline, is a song about memory, loss, and a longing for something unattainable. The title of the song comes from a Japanese phrase roughly translating to “Wait, please.” These feelings of memories, loss, nostalgia, and the such are ever prevalent throughout The Handmaid’s Tale, especially in the Night chapters. But there is one scene where I think that the ideas of the song are more pertinent then in most other scenes. “I lie in bed, still trembling. You can wet the rim of a glass and you run your finger around the rim and it will make a sound. This is what I feel like: this sound of glass. I feel like the word shatter. I want to be with someone.” This is the first line in chapter 18 of The Handmaid’s Tale. For the rest of the chapter Offred talks about her need for love, specifically that of Luke. She wants him here with her, and without his love or any love in general she feels empty, like a husk. This is exemplified in lines such as, “It’s lack of love we die from.”, “I am like a room where things once happened and now nothing does,”, or “It’s this message, which may never arrive, that keeps me alive.” Offred is so desperate for any form of love that even a more than likely futile hope can keep her going. The second verse of Matte Kudasai fits perfectly with this scene; “When, when was the night so long? Long, like the notes I’m sending. She waits in the air, Matte Kudasai. She sleeps in a chair In her sad America.” As I said earlier this is a song about loss and nostalgia and that specific verse illustrates those themes particularly well. The lyrics themselves also match up fairly well with the text in chapter 18, at least to me, they give off a similar emotion as well as a similar prose. The themes present in the song are themes that are intrinsic and vital to the character of Offred, so the song works as both a theme for this scene but as a leitmotif for Offred as a character.

I Talk to the Wind (1969): Yet another King Crimson Song though this one is from their debut album In the Court of the Crimson King released in 1969. Where Matte Kudasai gives off a much sadder and melancholic tone I Talk to the Wind is much more ethereal and airy. It feels like a trailing thought dancing in the wind, but beneath the calming music and celestial vocal performance there are very somber undertones. It is a song of confusion and disillusion with the idea of God. And the tone and themes of the song fit very well with many moments in The Handmaid’s Tale. In chapter 27 Offred and Ofglen are walking through the city when they pass the Soul Scrolls storefront and after a short conversation Ofglen asks Offred “‘Do you think God listens,’ […] ‘to these machines?’” to which Offred responds “No.” This scene showing both Offreds and Ofglens doubts on whether or not God listens fits perfectly with the chorus of I Talk to the Wind, “I talk to the wind, my words are all carried away. I talk to the wind. The wind does not hear, the wind cannot hear.” Many, including myself, interpret the song as a pious man talking to a non-religious person. And as the pious man talks to the “Late Man” he begins to doubt whether God, the wind, is listening or even can listen. These doubts on whether or not God listens is critical to how Offred views both Gilead and religion in general.

Epitaph (1969): From the same album as I Talk to the Wind, in fact literally the next song on the album, Epitaph is the most rock-like of these three King Crimson songs. Written at the height of the Cold War in the late sixties, it is a song about the end of the world, not by nature nor God, but rather through the deeds of men. This fits well with the fall of the United States and the rise of Gilead, as many of the people who lived through it view it as the end of the world as they knew it. “It was hard to believe. The entire government, gone like that. How did they get in, how did it happen?” This line from page 174 aligns closely with one of the repeating lyrics of Epitaph, “Confusion will be my epitaph” When massive change, especially bad change, happens most people feel only confusion, it’s all one can feel in these situations. I think the most important line in Epitaph and the one that fits most closely with the world under Gilead is near the end of the song, “Will no one lay the laurel wreath when silence drowns the screams?” The laurel wreath is a symbol of victory, given to Roman commanders after a successful war or conquest. But there was no victor in Gilead’s takeover. No one won, say for an extraordinarily small number of people, everyone is either a slave to a master or a slave to the system as a whole. No one is happy; not the Wives, Marthas, Handmaids, or even the Commanders. They are all silenced and repressed

Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed (1998): Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed was an unused song in the animated movie End of Evangelion and is therefore deeply tied to the themes of that movie and the Eva franchise as whole. Those themes being that of escapism, freedom, despair, and most importantly in our case love, or lack thereof. And though it was made with a completely different series in mind, it fits The Handmaid’s Tale shockingly well. In chapter 35 of The Handmaid’s Tale Offred is meeting with the Commander and on her way she ponders love. What love is now and what it was before. “God is love, they once said, but we reversed that, and love, like heaven, was always just around the corner. […] We were waiting, always,” In the before times and especially now love is always just out of reach. Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed mirrors these ideas perfectly with the songs chorus, “You can sail the seven seas Love is a place you’ll never see Passing you like a summer breeze You feel life has no other reason to be You can wait a million years and find That heavens too far away from you.” Even as I am writing this I am a little shocked on how well this works, I mean the mention of heaven as a way of showing that love is just out of reach is perfect. This song, like Matte Kudasai, works perfectly as themes for Offred and her character. She is someone who has lost a lot and has been denied almost all forms of connection, platonic or romantic. She, like everyone, is desperate for any kind of bond, but in Gilead, it is all too far out of reach.

TalkTalk (2018): This is the most different song in the playlist, where the others were softer and much longer, TalkTalk is shorter and a lot more aggressive in its tone. TalkTalk also has, in my opinion, the most unique meaning of the five songs listed here, being a commentary on the people who only talk about issues and do nothing about it. Another interpretation, and the one I personally like more, is that it is a song about those who twist words of religion to further means and to say something without really saying anything. The main repeating lyric of TalkTalk is, “Sit and talk like Jesus Try walkin’ like Jesus Sit and talk like Jesus Talk like Jesus Talk, talk, talk, talk” People talk like Jesus, use his words to push their agenda, but they do not act like Jesus, do not do as he said, they don’t walk like Jesus. This relates to The Handmaid’s Tale as Gilead is a theocracy, a government built around one state religion, and this religion is some sect of Christianity. Everything in Gilead is based around Christianity; Marthas are named after the sister of Jesus, the ‘slogan’ for the handmaids (Give me children, or else I die) is a quote from Genesis 30, even the name Gilead is a reference to a fertile land within Jerusalem, hell even the storefronts are references to the Bible. Everything in Gilead is built around this bizarre sect of Christianity, but they just happen to leave out all of the parts that don’t fit their agenda. They spew out the words of a doctrine they don’t even properly follow, they talk like Jesus but do not walk like Jesus.

You sit at home; relaxing and watching the television, or something of the such, but then you hear a knock on the door. You stand up and walk to the door and peer through the peephole and see two men. They are well dressed in a white short-sleeved button up with a small black name tag with golden lettering, in their hands are a black leather-bound book which also has golden letters debossed into it. You sigh and open the door slightly ajar and one of the men steps forward; with a grin on his face he says, “Would you like to hear about our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ?” This is a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, better known as the Mormon Church.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a fringe sect of Christianity bordering on a cult, it has around 17 million members world-wide, with 6 million members in the US alone. To a majority of people Mormons are just the butt of jokes, be it in performances like the Book of Mormon, or in the many episodes of TV shows that poke fun at them. And much of the Mormon ‘religion’ can be quite humorous from the outside but beneath the strange exterior and the kind-hearted missionaries is a much darker reality. A reality that those who have lived, and are living through know very well. One of the most important things to Mormons is family, to Momons having a family is a status symbol. In Mormon culture the mere act of having a child is pious and ‘saintly,’ to have a family is righteous, the children themselves and how they are treated come second. This view of family further bleeds into the view of women themselves in Mormonism. WIthin the church a lot of people view women as just potential wives/mothers and nothing more, this has also led to women view themselves in this light.

Within The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood the society of Gilead views on family and women in a way very akin to Mormonism. Within the dystopian society of Gilead many women are viewed as nothing more than just a vessel to have children; objects to be used. This is particularly true for the handmaids as their primary usage in Gilead is to be surrogate mothers. Throughout the book a particular quote from the Bible is repeated and is used as almost a motto for the handmaids, “Give me children, or else I die.” To the handmaids this passage is far more true than one would expect. If a handmaid can’t have children they are sent to the elusive colonies; on page 61 Offred states, “He could fake the tests, report me for cancer, for infertility, have me shipped off to the Colonies.” Both the reader and Offred know very little about these Colonies but for all intents and purposes and in the eyes of the handmaid’s it is like dying and you are sent there if you cannot have children. While this is a more extreme viewpoint then most Mormons there are Fundamentalist Mormons where this perspective on the role of women is more close to their own.

As stated before, bearing a child is somewhat of a status symbol in Mormon culture. If you have children or if you or your spouse is pregnant you are treated with more respect and dignity. If you do not or are not planning on having children, especially if you are a younger person (18-25), church members will tend to think lower of you and will most definitely talk behind your back. In Gilead it is much the same, though as per usual in a much more extreme manner. Women who are pregnant tend to be looked upon in a better light or even with jealousy by other handmaids. On page 26 it says, “One of them is vastly pregnant; […]. There is a shifting in the room, a murmur, an escape of breath; despite ourselves we turn our heads, blatantly, to see better; […]. She’s a magic presence to us, an object of envy and desire, we covet her. She’s a flag on a hilltop,” Because she was pregnant she was deemed as better and a symbol of what could be done. Having children in this world is the most important thing she can do, it is the primary function of women in the eyes of Gilead.

From the outside the Mormon religion and church is a kind of mysterious yet funny group of people. They seem innocent and kind enough, but dig a little deeper and there is a more grim truth. If you look online you’ll see many stories of how and why people have left the church. The fundamental beliefs of Mormonism are based around sexist and misogynistic ideas. It is okay to laugh at the funny aspects of Mormonism but it is also important to remember that there are people suffering within it. The Handmaid’s Tale is a cautionary tale of what absolute religious power could bring and I am confident if the LDS Church was in that position it would be not too dissimilar to Gilead.

In my last slate post I discussed what makes a game good. I went into great detail with my annotated bibliography and I was really proud of my research, but there was so much about video games that I wanted to talk about so it was a no brainer to make a video series with another topic added. The new topic I added was the history of video game. It was really fun to research, here is on of the resources I used most. The videos them selves were super fun to make especially the second part, which I am far more proud of. Though my original ideas were far more ambitious, I even planned for a third part. I do think I could have made the far better its just videos like these take longer than I expected. I am still proud of the end result. I really hope you enjoy the videos cause I worked really hard on them, and I know my topic isn’t as pressing as everyone else but I still think it is worth talking about. There is still so much I would love to talk about and still so many things you can do to help with this topic, such as just not buying bad video games, that’s really the best anyone could do. As I said before I hope you enjoy the videos and goodbye for now!

In this project I went to answer a very simple question ‘what makes a video game good,’ you might be saying that it is impossible to quantify that it is all about preference but I disagree on that sentiment. I say that there is an objective way to quantify the quality of video games, if that is not the case then critics would not exist. That point aside I think the traits of a good video game are pretty simple. That being that they should bring something new to the table, they should also have an interesting story and characters, lastly and most importantly they should have good gameplay. Now a game can be good without these things (except for gameplay you really need that) but they can add to the experience and immersion of the game. Aside from those three big ones there are some others that are some ‘minor’ traits such as; good music and sound design, good game and level design, good visuals, unique graphics, and a good mixture of learnability and complexity. There are obviously many more aspects and traits you need to make a good video game, but why is all of this even important? Why should we know what the specific aspects of good video games are? Well, in short you really don’t need to know. There are many topics far more pressing than video games. Yes, all of that is true but what is also true is that video games have engraved themselves into our modern society. A recent estimate put that a little more than 2.5 billion people play video games, that is nearly half of the entire population of the planet. That is why this topic is important because there are so many people playing video games more now than ever, and I can say from experience that no one wants to play a bad video game or a lazy video game or even a greedy video game (cough cough EA). And yet every year triple A games seem to get lazier and more boring, we should know the basic attributes to good games so we can steer clear from these games and to tell big game companies that we just want good games to play. In this post I may not have fancy graphs or pictures but what I do have is a passion for video games and a hope that one day we will get more good games than average ones and especially bad ones.

Side Note: Sorry for the low quality and you might need to zoom in to see somethings. Once again sorry.

Man 2020 has been a year and that’s all it has going for it. So I decided to do a podcast about it. I asked my siblings who range from 17-24 and asked them to join a discord server and talk for 10 minutes then edited it for a bit to get it to just under 2 minutes to meet the guidelines. But enough of the process lets talk about why it is relevant Well I think it is relevant because we talked about things that happened this year and we all had different viewpoints and experiences. Another thing about this project that I like is that it felt really real (because it was) due to it practically being a conversation between friends and family. It is a shame that the project was so short, I was only able to get two minutes of audio. So that is why I made an extended cut of the podcast. You can find the cut on my personal school YouTube channel if you are interested or interested. And that is my submission for NYT Coming of Age in 2020 project/competition

Notice: the extended cut is not a part of the submission it’s only there for those who want to see it.

Link to extended cut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw3mXAMlAcE