For my senior capstone project, I created a K-pop dance club and then created a website where all of the memories taken through the months we’ve met at the K-pop club in it. One of my biggest challenges was staying consistent with my project. I knew I wanted to start a club where I would be able to meet new people and try out new things. My original plan was to start an Asian Community Club but then I realized that idea was way too broad and to start a stable club, I would need to be more specific about what kind of category I want it to fall into. Once I knew what I wanted to do, I went straight into advertising and even got two amazing dance instructors. We meet every Wednesday to enjoy ourselves, dance, and talk about K-pop!

Here is my website: https://sites.google.com/scienceleadership.org/kpop-dance-club-of-sla/about

Speakers: Medina Baram, Cana Berkey-Gerard, Bella Olsen, Diana Yang, and Gina Zou

Podcast #1: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uoQ_vr0WucNo0e0tAq04RZ3ZZNvybok5/view?usp=sharing

In “The Road ” by Cormac McCarthy, there are significant mentions of “carrying the fire”(83) and good versus bad guys. Starting from the very beginning of the book, a child leads the man towards a dream. In that dream he sees a creature— “it’s mouth dripping from the rhinestone pool and stared into the light with eyes dead white and sighless as the eggs of spiders’ ‘. As the book came to its end, there was continuous mention of the “creature”. These creatures symbolize humans— mouth dripping with hunger and greed. The dream was a message sent from God to the man, foreshadowing the future.

The man mentions his kid as a “warrant”. (5) Warrant means authority and justification which all connects to the dad trying to justify every action as for the boy’s own good. He continues to claim that it was his “job” (74) and that he was “appointed to do that by God”. (77) My assumption is that he was meant to die but God needed him to play an important role in saving humanity. There was a mention in the book about wanting to die but too scared of death. I believe that was how the man felt when he was able to die so he agreed to God’s suggestion. On page 12-13 when the boy was asleep, the man whispered “Are you there? Will I see you at the end? Have you a neck by which to throttle you? Have you a heart? Damn you eternally have you a soul?” Analyzing this quote, he was obviously talking to you God— “Will I see you at the end?” was the man asking once he died, will he be able to go to heaven and see God after his duty is fulfilled (he knows full well he was going to die)— “Have you a heart? Damn you eternally have you a soul?” was his way of questioning God’s actions. Maybe it is because humans will never understand what God is doing.

From context clues, God seems to be trying to destroy the world he created and rebuilding it as a punishment to humanity. Again, we don’t know why he is doing so. Believers of God: prophets in the bible also had moments where they would question God. On page 170, Ely said “There is no God and we are his prophets” which means that he doesn’t believe in God but the “word of God” (such as morals and the basis of humanity) exists within people. After the man died and the boy was left alone, he met people who claimed that they are the good guys and carry the fire.

Ever since the commander sneaked Offred out to the hotel room, we’ve encountered a variety of what I would like to call “Gilead Math”. Similar to the trend TikTok has been going around— we got the girl math, boy math, etc. Gilead Math is a system and systems can not be created by itself. Behind the scenes, there will always be an influencer. I call them the Math-stermind. Welcome to Gilead Math as I slowly uncover the Math-stermind behind it all!

Gilead revolves around a system with circumstances and status. Take away your status and you’re left with nothing. And what happens to people who are useless? “They can go rot in the Colonies.” Gilead Math! From precious chapters, you already know the unwomen’s go to Colonies but you don’t exactly know what happens to them when they are in the Colonies. In chapter 33, you get a sense of what the Colonies were like during Moira’s conversation with Janine. Flashback to when they were at the Red Center— Janine still in her white cotton nightgown, talks to herself like a madman out in the open where the aunt might see her. This is her way to rebel. Compared to Moira’s form of rebellion, Janine’s was more emotional than active. Because Janine stuck out like a sore thumb, Moira had to slap her back to her senses. This was when she revealed a hint of the system of Gilead and the Colonies. “They won’t even bother to ship you to the Colonies. You go too far away and they just take you up to the Chemistry Lab and shoot you. Then they burn you up with the garbage, like an Unwoman.” (pg 216) From here, you get a sense of what the Colonies are like. “You won’t die in the Colonies, but you might as well be dead if you get yourself in there,” is what Moira meant. Going into the Colonies means you are “garbage”. Something that is disposable. “Like an Unwomen.” Moira compares the Chemistry Lab to the Colonies— “They burn you up with the garbage.”

Commander Fred likes playing his part in the play behind the scenes. He’ll do things and you would wonder why he did what he did. He treats everyone like animals— “The Commander likes it when I distinguish myself, show precocity, like an attentive pet, prick-eared and eager to perform.” (pg 183-184) Their roles are designed solely to fulfill his hunger for entertainment. Like a director of a play or a scriptwriter— the pen he withholds has the power of creation. Like the mastermind behind the scene. Status plays a big role in Gilead Math. In chapter 37, we see Commander Fred utilizing his status to its full potential! Commander Fred likes to break the rules as a way to numb his boredom. He decided to bring Offred to the hotel room where he states it’s like “walking into the past.” (pg 235) This was a place with strict surveillance to prevent people from going in and out as they pleased. Knowing that someone like Offred is strictly forbidden there, the commander chooses to do so for the sake of his own excitement. When Commander Fred introduced her to “The Club” Offred replied with “I thought this sort of thing was strictly forbidden,” he responded with “But everyone’s human, after all. It means you can’t cheat Nature. Nature demands variety, for men. It stands to reason, it’s part of the procreational strategy. It’s Nature’s plan. Women know that instinctively. Why did they buy so many different clothes in the old days? To trick the men into thinking they were several different women. A new one each day.” (pg 237) Long story short, different clothes mean a different woman each day. Boom! Gilead Math.

“Commander Fred isn’t a terrible person,” is what he wants us to see him as. Throughout the book he conveys himself as a “decent guy”. He didn’t do anything specifically bad but nothing good either. He cheated on his wife, brought Offred and potentially many other housemaids like Offred out to The Club to “show her off,” but at the same time, he showed them the other side of Gilead— the reality. Offred even thought of the commander as “positively daddyish” (pg 184) while playing Scrabble. Surprisingly, Offred wasn’t using words to describe something sexually (maybe a little). When she said “positively daddyish,” she referred to Luke and how compared to Luke, he’s not “saying bitch in his head.” Then again, he was probably just bored and wanted to get another housemaid in trouble, or even worse, dead.

October 13, 2023

I have this love, hate relationship with the term summer. Summer is the season where you are freed from school. The school doors opened to what I thought was an escape from grinding all those homeworks and tests. When I think of summer, I think about relaxing on my lovely bed— just sitting there doing nothing what-so-ever. I mean, it’s called summer break for a reason, am I right? I could lay in bed and scroll through my phone all day, if it wasn’t for the nagging of my parents, telling me to get my act together. But what I realized was, the more relaxed I was during the summer, the more work I would have to make you later on in the future. Back in middle school, I used to be assigned summer homework. It was a thick package of English and mathematics problems. I remember how I would end up taking the answers given in the back of the package, not even attempting any questions. Here I am now, a high school student who lacks knowledge and test taking skills. Just like the oranges that’s constantly being referred to by Offers—taking the small things in life for granted. The existence of the “orange” became a norm that we tend to think things were always meant to be the way they are. When that norm is gone, we think back and regret how we didn’t cherish the things we took for granted.

In chapter 5 we were first introduced to Offred’s impression on oranges after it wasn’t a privilege anymore: “It will be something, a small achievement, to have made oranges happen.” (pg 25) Ever since Central America lost the war oranges have just been hard to get. I would assume Offred to have something like, “Seize your chance! These oranges are here right in front of you. Take them!” in the back of her mind. Of course, the circumstances have changed. “But I haven’t bought any coupons for oranges.” (pg 25) Even before that, Offred needs to have access to the token that allows her to go outside. Tokens and coupons are what’s keeping her from getting the oranges. Referring back to me, procrastination and lack of motivation is like the token and coupons that prevent Offred from getting the oranges, they’re keeping me from utilizing summer as a chance to grow. As Offred’s story continues to unravel, the term “orange” would be a constant repetition in the book. This term also shows up mostly either when she rambles about her past or when she’s lost in her own thoughts. Not only did she use the phrase orange as a fruit but she also had descriptions of orange juice. In chapter 25, Cora spills the drink because she saw Offred on the floor, her head half way in the cabinet. At first I thought she was worried about Offred thinking she might have been in an accident, but later on says that she thought it was just her clothes and that Offred ran away. The spilled orange juice symbolizes how taken aback Cora was in that moment. She felt betrayal but most of all, disappointed thinking Offred might have left her by herself. The fact that Offred would have a chance to escape just like Moira and didn’t tag her along seems to her was unbearable. Cora later ended with “but it was you” with a sense of relief.

Once you miss the opportunity, will you ever be able to get another one? “To the left, the double doors to the dining room are folded back, and inside I can see the long table, covered with a white cloth and spread with a buffet: ham, cheese, orange— they have oranges!” (pg 116) Being met upon an opportunity, I was introduced to many people and courses that have helped me grow as a scholar. Missing the opportunity to utilize summer as a chance to explore various potentials came more opportunities throughout the school year. Although it is a bit rushed, it’s better late than never! I will squeeze every drop of juice that orange has to offer. At the very least, I don’t want to make regrettable choices of never trying. Just like how Offred would grab an orange or two every time she gets the opportunity to. Give me an orange— give me a chance.