My athletic journey, for my capstone I chose to write all about it. From the time I was born all the way until now whether by my own will or my parents influence i’ve been physically active. That being said, physical activity has been such a big part of my life and who I am. In turn I’ve naturally taken interest in health as a big part of being and remaining active is making sure your body is capable of the activity itself. I would argue that this is especially true when sports are a factor. Sports not only magnified my interest in activity but also health as your ability to perform and compete are reliant on your health. Even if I’m not using my body for a sport I enjoy recreational activity. In all of this it is easy especially for athletes to become narrow minded in terms of health. Their physical body is what their sport, team and performance require right? Though that is true there is so much more that goes into sports and physical activity than your body. It is extremely important especially for athletes to be conscious of that. Other factors that impact health as well as performance are one’s physical, mental and spiritual health. For those who may not be athletes, physical health is still very important. Not only does physical health impact your physical health but the same relationship goes both ways. Without mental will it is hard to stay in shape but with unhealthy physical tendencies one’s mental health can be consequently damaged also.

The Road by Cormac Mcarthy has many themes establish and develop so picking one to track wasn’t easy, however after the final reading it was. Since early in the book the man has been sick but we are never told the cause. Despite the relative mystery behind his illness it is safe to assume it has some relation to the state of the world. With no clean water and limited access to food maintaining health is no easy task. This is prominent through the health of the child as he has grown and lived through this world, he is often described as thin and malnourished. We see the boys physical struggles described on pages 38 and 74 as “The boy was so thin it stopped his heart” or “The water was so cold the boy was crying”. It is safe to say their collective health is on a steady decline, there are moments that they were doing well but the man is frequently coughing. The lowest point in terms of health was about mid way through the book as they faced starvation almost killing them. On page 118 the man could barely climb a ladder even after eating he is noticeably weak, the boy notices on page 133 when he asks “How many days to death?”. There are moments of rejuvenation in finding more recourses as described on page 144 “He’d been ready to die and now he wasn’t going to and he had to think about that.” even in the progress the man is admittedly defeated as he knows he is only adding time to the clock. Eventually we begin to see just how critical his situation is on page 237 were “He woke coughing” “Coughing. Coughing. He bent over, holding his knees. Taste of blood.”. Readers can only assume this means the man is close to his limit, the man knows this too on page 237 “He thought about his life but there was no life to think about”. Continuing in his poor state he eventually passes on page 281 the page that inspired me to track their conditions.

1:

“Dark Age” - MGMT

I chose this song for a number of reasons one of them being because it says “Forgiving who you are”. Forgiving could mean to give up the resentment you have toward yourself, wether it be resent for your past or even just the person you are. We see Offred do a lot of or try to forgive herself especially in the context of her mother and her past relationship with luke involving her daughter. This reminds me of chapter 24 after her first meeting with the commander when she decides to forget her past self in order to focus on the present, trying to escape. Is forgiving and forgetting the same thing? (I also chose this song because it feels very dystopian)

2:

“Gallowdance” - Lebanon Hanover

I chose this song because it says “Dance with me the gallowdance” “As long as we’re not hanging”. This reminds me of Offred and her shopping partner as they always observe the wall were the authorities hang those who resist or break rules. I feel like this quote from the song fits perfectly because they “Dance the gallowdance” (break the rules) but “As long as were not hanging” (as long as they dont get caught) they don’t care and are unphased by seeing the body’s instead have a sense if curiosity.

3:

“Downswing” - Superheaven

I chose this song because it says “I’ve been there before, i never want to go back i try to forget, what it feels like to be unattached”. I chose this quote because it symbolizes the forgetting of memories. We see a lot of this as its used in order to gain better control over the female and male populations in gilead, controlled people are easy to manipulate especially if they have not former memory. They even turn or use these memories against them as we saw most recently when someone made a bribe using Offred’s daughter.

4:

“Orbitron” - Duster

I chose this song because it says “You know the clock is ticking down and no ones in control”. I feel Offred would resonate to this alot because she often thinks about and sometimes talks about prayer, but she isn’t convinced that her prayers are heard or who shes praying to. In such a hopeless situation were she really lacks any sort of freedom it would be easy to see each day as nothing more than time passed “The clock ticking down”. In with this state of hopelessness / loneliness it would also be easy to say “no ones in control”. (no ones hearing or looking after me)

5:

“Your Face” - Wisp

I chose this song because it says “You look at me the same but i cant reciprocate”. This quote for me defines a lot of Offred’s male interactions especially with the commander and nick. Throughout the book she has various interactions with Nick a lot of which describe a sense of shared interest in each other. There is one or two scenes were a sexual tension is described “but i cant reciprocate” even if Offred has them same desire she cannot indulge out of consideration for her wellbeing. A similar situation is depicted with the commander as from the first meeting they had he held a agenda, asking Offred to act as if she “meant it” or to “fake it”. The commander desires a romantic relationship so he is using this relationship to simulate his ideal image of one. He “Looks at her the same but she cant reciprocate”.

Quotes:

CH #17 PG #99 Nick says. “He wants to see you in his office.” … “Tomorrow,” he says

CH #23 PG #136 After that, reclassification. I could become an Un-Woman. But to refuse to see him could be worse. There’s no doubt about who holds the real power. But there must be something he wants from me. To want is to have a weakness.

CH #23 PG #139 “Thank you,” he says. “For the game.” Then he says, “I want you to kiss me.”

CH #23 PG #140 He draws away, looks down at me. There’s the smile again, the sheepish one. Such candor. “Not like that.” he says. “As if you meant it.” He was so sad.

CH #24 PG #144 I can ask for something. Possibly not much; but something. Men are sex machines, said Aunt Lydia, and not much more. They only want one thing. You must learn to manipulate them, for your own good.

This entire situation is extremely weird and makes me very uncomfortable not to mention living through it. We have an understanding of the secrecy surrounding the ordeal starting on page 99. Offred is sneaking around outside of her room after dark and accidentally runs into NIck however for Nick this is no accident, “Nick says. “He wants to see you in his office.” … “Tomorrow,” he says.” Originally this prompts a world of uncertainty for Offred and in turn the readers. There is no way of telling why the Commander would want to see her aside from assumptions. Regardless, Offred knows she is left with no choice as we see on page 136 “After that, reclassification. I could become an Un-Woman. But to refuse to see him could be worse. There’s no doubt about who holds the real power. But there must be something he wants from me. To want is to have a weakness.”. Even in the reality of her powerlessness and his control of her and the situation she can use this to her advantage. “To want is to have a weakness.” The quote clears all of the mystery surrounding the meeting. It no longer matters what the Commander wants, the situation has been put into perspective, the commander has a want and that is a weakness to be taken advantage of. Page 144 “I can ask for something. Possibly not much; but something. Men are sex machines, said Aunt Lydia, and not much more. They only want one thing. You must learn to manipulate them, for your own good.”

We eventually get to the meeting where we finally learn the commander’s intent, it turns out to not be as we assumed. As they played scramble and talked (the commander talked) I got the sense that the commander was looking for a sense of companionship. This would make sense as even in the relationship with his wife there seems to be a lot of formality. The titles husband and wife appear more so to be more job titles than symbols of their bond. By the end of their meeting I was questioning how much of his intent was companionship and how much of it was out of romantic interest. I don’t mean romantic interest as in a sexual connection but more so a true partner. Page 139 “Thank you,” he says. “For the game.” Then he says, “I want you to kiss me.” As he said this I wondered if he was trying to create an illusion of that partnership he desires, maybe this meeting is how he imagines a date. Page 140 “He draws away, looks down at me. There’s the smile again, the sheepish one. Such candor. “Not like that.” he says. “As if you meant it.” He was so sad.” To me this confirmed my assumptions. He is trying to have Offer act out his ideal romantic relationship. I say this because of the line “Not like that.” he says. “As if you meant it.” He was so sad.” This quote for me symbolizes him realizing the reality of the situation where offered is just a stranger and she doesn’t see him the same as he does her, or share his interests. The line also reassures the idea of the commander imagining how things should ideally be happening as this entire interaction is very formulated and staged out to create this illusion for him.