Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale delves into the harrowing experiences of Offred, a woman stripped of her autonomy but most importantly her livelihood. One particular moment occurs when Offred is given a picture of her daughter but denied the ability to keep it by Serena Joy, the commander’s wife. “It has washed over me, washed me away as if I’m nothing more than a woman of sand, left by a careless child too near the water….You can see it in her eyes: I am not there(228.)” This scene resonates deeply with me, evoking feelings of longing, loss, and the complex dynamics of motherhood, emotions that parallel my own life experiences. More to that, I moved from New York to Philly when I was about six years old, leaving my mother was one of the hardest things I had to endure but I know that I relate to Offred’s daughter in a way. The pictures I took growing up when I moved were completely different, especially knowing that I struggled with the complex dynamics of motherhood and fatherhood. I had to depend upon my grandmother which made everything in my life completely different and in pictures I didn’t have the same happiness that I had when I was with my mother. It’s similar to this quote because when Offred glimpses at the photograph of her daughter, it represents the painful reminder of her past life, filled with mistakes that she couldn’t take back. The fact that she had no possession of the photograph amplified her feelings of loss and helplessness. This moment has resonated with me because it reflects my feelings concerning the deep emotional scars left by my separation from my parents. Although I was young when all this happened to me, the emotional fallout was so intense for me that I can sort of understand the perspective of Offred’s daughter although we have different situations they are similar. I often found myself longing for the moments captured in photographs of happier times, moments that felt irretrievably lost. The photograph also symbolizes not just a memory but the oppressive forces of Gilead that seek to erase Offred’s identity as a mother. The control over her life extends to her relationship with her daughter, leaving her in a constant state of desire. “But she exists, in her white dress. She grows and lives. Isn’t that a good thing? A blessing? Still, I can’t bear it, to have been erased like that(228.)” This resonates with my own experiences of societal expectations and the pressure to comply with rules. For instance, during my young teenage years, I faced a ton of pressure from my friends and family to follow a predetermined path in education. Much like Offred whose identity is subverted by the roles imposed on her, I struggled to assert my desires against the expectations set in front of me. The photograph serves as a reminder of what Offred has lost, just as I often felt the weight of expectations overshadowing my true aspirations. Offred’s emotional turmoil upon seeing the photograph is compounded by her inability to act on her feelings. She is aware that her maternal instincts are stifled by a regime that values women only for their reproductive capabilities. “When there’s meat they cut it up for me ahead of time, as if I’m lacking manual skills or teeth. I have both, however. That’s why I’m not allowed a knife(228.)” This helplessness resonates with me, particularly during times when I felt powerless to change my circumstances. For example, when my family faced financial difficulties, I often felt like an observer in my own life, unable to influence the situation. The sense of being trapped, much like Offred’s confinement in Gilead, evokes a profound empathy within me. I understand the frustration of wanting to reach out and connect but feeling constrained by external forces. Especially knowing that those external forces don’t ever truly understand you’re situation unless they have been in your shoes before. Moreover, Offred’s experience highlights the broader theme of maternal bonds and the sacrifices that come with them. Her desire to protect her daughter, even from afar, resonates with my own experiences of motherhood and the challenges that accompany it. As a child, whose parents never got married but ended up separating when I was young, I often felt the need to protect my younger siblings from the emotional struggles of our family situation. This instinct to shield loved ones from pain, even when I was struggling, mirrors Offred’s fierce love for her daughter. The photograph served as a reminder that, despite the barriers imposed by society, the bond between a mother and child should remain unbreakable.

Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale is a profound exploration of power, gender, and identity set in a dystopian future that strips women of their rights and autonomy. Section eleven where Offred reflects on some of her past life resonates with me, specifically her memories of her mother and the concept of femininity. This chapter captures the tension between the nostalgia and harsh realities of her current living conditions, entailing both intellectual and emotional responses that reflect the contemporary issues surrounding women’s rights and identities. In a moment of sadness, Offred recalls the sight of her mother’s activism and the feminist movements of her past. In chapter eleven, she describes her mother as a “feminist, a term that was once seen to evoke pride and empowerment but has since felt distant and almost foreign in the oppressive place of Gilead. Having a fate served to you by an upper power limits your choice and freedom as expressed throughout the story so far. I recognized that Offred and other handmaids have been convinced that they have less power than they do being controlled by some kind of republican government ruled by some belief system of god with the willingness to do things unquestioned but with full attention and specification with harsh consequences that follow if you were to break the rules. In chapter twenty Offred speaks on the times when she recalled her mother expressing her femininity and she says, “…not young and earnest and pretty the way she was in the movie, but wiry, spunky, the kind of old woman who won’t let anyone butt in front of her at a supermarket line.” I found this particularly intriguing as it allowed me to try to picture what Offred’s life must’ve been like when she was with her mother and connect all these flashback memories that she has of her mother together. Initially, I felt a sense of discomfort as it approached the social expectations of beauty but more so the reality of aging which provoked a thought on death and what it means to confront death when it knocks at your door. It also provoked a thought on life and what it means to live your life or have life being lived for you through someone else. Offred’s confrontation of her memories with her mother is both stimulating and emotionally charged, “I admired my mother in some ways although things between us were never easy. She expected too much from me, I felt. She expected me to vindicate her life for her, and the choices she’d made. I didn’t want to live my life on her terms.” As Offred reflects on her mother, I find myself stuck between a mix of admiration and a sense of discomfort. Her mother represents a fierce, unapologetic feminism that Offred reveres and feels completely distanced from. The recollection of her mother’s activism, marching with signs, and fighting for women’s rights brings out a sense of loss in Offred. I felt both nostalgia and sadness coming from this quote recognizing how far she is from that world. It’s a world where women have a voice, choice, and agency. This causes tension between the two as they grapple with ways to be included in each other’s lives being as though they live in two completely different worlds of feminism. The close and far proximity between the past and present times is striking, revealing a sense of loss for Offred and all women who have fought for autonomy and power. I found myself often struggling with the emotional weight that this chapter carries. Offred’s specified reactions are often laced with a bittersweet nostalgia that highlights the contrast between the freedom that her mother fought for and the enslavement she now endures. This moment is particularly intriguing to me because it forces me to confront my understanding of feminism and the ways it has evolved. Her reflections prompt me to consider what it means to be a woman in a society that seeks to define and limit femininity. Offred’s ambivalence towards her mother’s beliefs mirrors my uncertainties about the path of feminism. The comparison of Offred’s mother’s radicalism with Offred’s subdued existence raises questions about identity and self-worth. Offred struggles with feelings of not being enough, questioning her feminism in a world that has rendered her powerless. I found this internal conflict to be relatable to some ideas of masculinity, highlighting the struggle one may face when confronted with the legacies of those who fought for change. How do we honor their struggles while navigating our limitations?