ADHD

But you don’t understand! It's not always me! I didn't mean to do it jeez! You Don't know what i’m going through. I don’t feel well and I really don’t need to be bothered with you right now! Don’t focus on me! Just teach your fricken class I’m not even distracting anyone! That's it! I’m leaving now!

I’ve had it with you. Every day I wake up normal but by the time I get to school so much happens. Every morning I have to take this crappy medication for my adhd which only makes me unhappy and never hungry. So when I get home I am starving and depressed. I can’t go through life like this. My parents blame the not eating on me when in reality they're the ones giving me this fricken medicine every damn morning. They say it will help me but it never does. So now I have to go through life in the worst way possible. I always feel upset in class because I feel like a part of me is missing everyday. Then when I’m upset in class and my teachers write petty emails home, my parents never even think about the damn medicine. They always think it’s my fault for everything. They think i’d do worse without the medication. They don’t know anything about me. All they seem to talk about with me is my “blame shifting” and my attitude in school, but those meds ruin me everyday and they don’t get it yet.

I don’t know how long it will take them to get or something dumb happens. I already ran away freshmen year from the same thing and now they're pushing me further and further to do it again. It was never genetically proven that i had adhd either! All because I was a very loud and happy boisterous person. So they thought that after hearing about me being loud in school that I had to have adhd. And they just HAD to have a fricken perfect damn child and they gave me all this crap to take in the morning. And then I get in trouble for not eating. They always change the subject or cut me off when i’m talking to them about it. They think I blame everything on it and that I must take it.

My parents are catholic education at heart and I can’t do this on the daily. They could at least give me my scoot back. I used to be able to de stress and relax before school, but now they took it because of school and now i’m having twice as many problems. I tried to have this conversation with them many times, but they're not budging at all. They think whatever my teachers say is always true and that i’m always lying. I already ran away once and it’s like they never learned from it. They are so tangled up in my adhd (that I probably don’t even have) that they are losing their own son and don’t even notice it.

“David you can go ahead and walk up to the office then!”

No, I am NOT going to the office. You know what, forget you. (Walks away.)

I need to talk to someone. (pulls out phone)

(texting on phone) Why cant my friends give me any advice! I'm gonna get another progress note when I get home and I’ll have to deal with my parents again for the 100th time!

(sarcastically) Now that's just GREAT! Now I have to get the train home and deal with this!

Then I come home to a progress note about my behavior in class and I notice the teacher has disregarded all that I said about my condition, “Here we go again”, I say to myself. Now I am where i’ve been 100 times before. The future seems dark for me.