Confessing To Emily

A few years back, when Soulja Boy and Bow Wow were trending, I fell for a girl.

This was back in fifth grade, when I was about 12. When I excelled in school and was consider the “teacher's pet” something really weird happened.  It all started in the back of the room of Miss.Kuaffman home room class.The moment I laid eyes on this gorgeous girl named Emily I got this weird feeling in my stomach and got nervous when she made eye contact with me. I knew that it was love at first sight. She was really beautiful , had black silky hair with nice big brown eyes and a small frame to her.  I never seen a girl like her before , and actually never seen her in school. That's when Miss Kauffman introduced her to the class.

The day after everyone was talking about her, especially the boys. My friends were all talking about how beautiful she was  That's when hector ,a good friend of mine, said “I bet I can make her my girlfriend,” and we all laughed. Once he said that I was scared because I thought she was really pretty and wanted her to be mine.  Whenever I made eye contact with her I felt so happy.  After a while we went back to doing our usual  things, playing pokemon cards and using tech decks( a tiny skateboard used by using your two fingers to do tricks and other things.) in the lunchroom.

Months passed and Hector still hadn’t made his move on Emily . It was about to be Christmas two weeks from now. I kept telling myself that I needed to talk to her and stop being a punk. But every time I was near her I got this weird knot in my throat that didn’t allow me to talk to her. I knew I couldn't talk to her face to face so I decided that I need to get my feeling across through her best friend ,Jessica. Jessica and I were good friends mainly because I didn’t find her attractive.  As the day went on we finally reached our last period which was gym. This was a  class I actually enjoyed in that school. Until we started running laps around the gymnasium.

Once we were there I asked Jessica “Does emily like anyone from our class?”

“ I’m not exactly sure but I know she thinks you're cute.” Jessica replied.

“Okay.” I said.

I did not expect her to say that Emily thinks I’m cute. Like what ?? I was so shocked like really she really thinks I am cute.  My mouth open and my jaw dropped because of how shock I was to hear that.

“ I don’t no but I know she thinks you're cute.”

“ I don’t no but I know she thinks you're cute.”

“ I don’t no but I know she thinks you're cute.”

Her response kept replaying in my head without stopping. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It boosted my confidence from 0 to 100. I was finally ready to tell Emily what I thought about her. Unfortunately, the night before winter break I became too scared to tell her in person. So I decided it would be easier to write her a letter expressing my feelings.

I started my letter with “Dear Emily , this letter is just going to be me expressing my feelings towards you.” I thought to “myself that's weird don't say that to her she is going to be under the impression that I’m a weirdo.” So I didn’t write that on the letter, what I ended up writing was that I like her. Hours passed and I only had the introduction of the letter done. I’m going to tell you guys what I wrote for the first body paragraph. It goes something like this “ Emily you're such a beautiful girl just like the sun in the morning you can’t miss it. I really think you're cute and you are an awesome person to be around. You always make me laugh and stuff even though we don’t really talk that much. I really like going to school for two reasons, one to learn and two to see you everyday. You probably don’t think I’m cute or think I have cooties or whatever. But I just wanted to let you know that I like you a lot and think you are really pretty.” I was finally done. I made sure that my grammar was good and all of the other punctuation was good to go. Before placing the letter in the envelope I signed it at the bottom saying “love - Arsenio with xoxox.”  Then I get myself ready to go to school.

Once I’m at school I realize Emily isn’t there and start getting worry. So I asked her friend Jessica if she seen her around.

Jessica said “no she is not here today why ?”

I replied with “nothing just asking because I have something to give her.”

Jessica then says “oh I see you like Emily don’t you ?”

I felt my cheeks heat up. I felt like a burning oven and got this knot feeling in my stomach and just walked away. Just thinking about Emily made me nervous. I walked away and never answered her question. My next class was my last period and I had to find a way to get this letter to Emily. I thought of mailing it to her house but for one I didn’t know her address and two she would just think I’m a weird if I knew her address. The time continued on and I still didn’t have an idea on how to get this letter to her. Five minutes were left in class so I came to the final decision of just leaving it under her desk.  I was left with the question if she will ever reply to me or would she just ignore me because I have cooties.

In the end  I never really got to find out if she ever liked me because after class Miss Kaufman told us that she has transferred. I was heartbroken because she meant so much to me.  Once I got the news that day I cried myself to sleep thinking on why she would leave , why didn’t she feel the same way, was I not good enough for her. I would never be able to have these questions answered. . One good thing that I do know the letter wasn’t under the desk after break. Maybe she did receive the letter but never had a way to communicate with me. I mean who will ever know if she really like me.