Escaping the White Privilaged Bubble

I am twelve years old and had just began seventh grade at the prestigious all girls private school, Baldwin, located on Philadelphia’s main line. It is currently ‘bat mitzvah season’ for the many Jewish girls whom I go to school with. This night is not only hugely exciting for the birthday girl, but also for her guests. It is one of the few, but extremely exciting, days where we are able to mingle with the boys from the all-boy’s school down the road from ours, Haverford. I would strategically head to a friend’s house hours before the party starts, where we spend every second available to us to get ready. At approximately six o’clock we eventually pull up to an elaborate hall or hotel decorated just for the birthday girl. Upon walking inside, I was either greeted by an ice sculpture of the birthday girl’s head or a photographer ushering me in and then quickly snapping a photo of me and my friends. I enjoy myself so much at these parties that I eventually go home and ask my mother if I can have one just like theirs for my upcoming thirteenth birthday. She is then forced to break the news to me that not only are we not jewish, but that I am not like the girls I go to school with; that we don’t have all that they have and that that’s okay.

Although my seventh grade self was upset that she couldn’t have an elaborate thirteenth birthday, over the next three years of attending that school I had come to the realization that these bat mitzvahs were just one small factor that set me apart from my peers. I had begun to feel like I was living in a white privileged bubble while going to Baldwin, and I did not belong there. I come from a very liberal family and I soon found out that my parents were struggling with the feeling that the school I was attending was slowly taking away many of the morals and principles that they had worked hard to raised me with; the fear that being in an environment with such a lack of diversity would unintentionally cause me to be unaccepting of those that are different than me. My family feared of what would happen if I continued schooling at Baldwin, graduated, and was suddenly launched into the real world without understanding what the real world truly is, as I had only been exposed to such a small part of it.

It wasn’t until nearly the end of my freshman year of high school that I finally came to terms with this and sat down with my mother to discuss the possibility of switching schools. The conversation went something like this:

Hadleigh: Mom, I think I would like to leave Baldwin.

Mom: Finally! Where would you like to go? 

Hadleigh: I have no idea.

The end of the school year was nearing and I knew that my options were slim, and for this reason, the idea got pushed to the side for a while. The next time it was brought up, my mother mentioned the school, Science Leadership Academy, that she passes sometimes on her way to work. I had heard of it and knew that one of my best friends who was a grade below me was applying. It is located in the city where I grew up, the student body is far more diverse than Baldwin, and it overall seemed that it would be a more comfortable environment for me. I made the quick decision to apply as well.

Luckily, the last set of interviews happened to be the following week. I was told to find one recent project that I was most proud of to present, as SLA is a project based school, to one current student and one teacher. I had only done one project that year at Baldwin and it was a group project that I wouldn’t have necessarily defined as one I am “most proud of.” I then decided to take it upon myself to change the project around a bit and create an improved, more personal version of the original project. I was the only person there that was already in high school and many people looked at me strangely. However, my interview went well and I felt confident.

I did not find out that I had been accepted to SLA until my last week of school at Baldwin. I was on a serious time crunch as there were deadlines on both ends that had to be met. My mental state at this time could be described as jumbled and disorganized. I had no idea what I wanted to do. Leaving Baldwin after 5 years was only just a thought until I got the news that SLA had wanted me to attend. I weighed the pros and cons:

Pros: more suitable environment, will be better prepared for the real world, fresh start

Cons: leaving everything I know and starting new, friends, amazing education

After a few days of frantically searching within myself to come to a decision, I had finally decided that I would transfer to SLA.

Although the transition was intimidating at first, I cannot express my gratitude toward my parents enough for pushing me to take the risk that has formed me into the person I am now, and the person I am proud to be. When I think back now to the person I was when I attended Baldwin, I am barely able to recognize that person. SLA has forced me to come out of my shell and put an end to my habit of trying to blend in with the crowd. SLA accepts me for who I am and pushes me to be an individual. I find it amazing that such a seemingly small change could change my life so drastically for the better. After taking this risk and experiencing the positive effects, I feel obligated to take more risks in life with the intention of bettering and working toward becoming the best version of myself.