I can relate to a lot of things that were mentioned in the story, and I love how engaged you were with the audience. The sci-fi part came up later on as I read the story but I liked how you purposely did that.
I thought your story was really clever. I liked how your sci fi element didn't really make an appearance until the end because it felt like I was leading up to something. All your characters were really thought out and you can really connect with them. I wish I did know why his leg still has that weird tingle even after the accident, but I also think it leaves a nice mystery at the ed. Nice job!
Good stuff. Some mistakes with grammar/punctuation, but most of it felt like it was just how Kevin thought. Ending was a bit happy for my own taste, but the story concept was interesting nonetheless. I'm more concerned with the meaning behind the sweatpants meme.
This was a very good story at its core; good characters, interesting plot, sorta reminded me of The Outsiders. I do wish that there was more to the science fiction than what was presented, because it seemed like "oh leg gone now leg back!" and there were no deep thoughts thrown at me because of this.
The characters personalities were obviously really thought out. The science fiction element was a little late, and probably would've been better had it been introduced earlier.
Extremely crisp visuals and really good storytelling. Add the relatability and intriguing characters and you have yourself a very strong and interesting tale. Very nice.
Your story is very detailed, I like how you didn't introduce the sci-fi element in the beginning of the story. This set up mystery to how the story was going to go. I like how you leave us questions as to why certain things happened the way they did.
The regularity of the characters got me. Starting off with this average sort of kid waking up and watching youtube videos had me wonder what could possibly happen to him in the story. I liked the slang. It was used in an extravagant, almost ironic way that was funny. Main issue I'd say is the sci-fi part came very late, but that was obviously the joke: These kids are so straight that one of them gains the ability to regenerate and be an organ donor god and just say "that's litty bop" and change the channel. Nice setup.
I like how your story was jammed pack full of detail, it really gives the main characters life. I really like how you drew inspiration from your personal life to write the story. I can see you in your writing and it made it more enjoyable to read. Overall, I like reading your story and I like how your sci-fi element was present but not overbearing.
The concept of your story is super original and leading up to the train accident, I thought it would go a completely different way. The science fiction element was introduced in the last few pages but it was really interesting, I wish there could have been more about it and how he lives with it. The only thing I'm wondering is why his leg was continuing to tingle leading up to the accident. Is it something that he just has to live with and why did he just start noticing?
The characters had a lot of personality, and I didn't expect the train thing to happen. The sci-fi element was introduced a bit late for me- it seemed like a setup for a novel.
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