Shorts Too Short Posted by Waverly O'Neal in English 2 · Pahomov · C Band on Thursday, September 29, 2016 at 8:06 am Comments (6) Afi Koffi I enjoyed your essay and your theme of being unapologetically you. This topic relates to a large crowd including me. I think you did a good job of using your personal experience to demonstrate the effect that sociality and its norms have on people especially girls. How's your relationship with your parents now? Sofia Powers This was great! I really like the message because it is something most people should relate to and understand. I felt the use of a scene really helped you build up to your conclusion that you can dress up for yourself and improve your confidence. Overall great piece! Lilly Roman I really enjoyed this. There a so many girls that have to go through this and your words really brought the story to life. You built a great connection and something that is very easy to relate to. You have an excellent writing style. My understanding of it is that just because you're all "dolled" up doesn't mean you're trying to impress anyone. Sometimes you just need to wake up, look in the mirror and say "Oh Lord, I'm looking fine today." Bronwyn Goldschneider I really liked this essay. Your message was very empowering and I think it was great that you showed a lot of self-love through your writing. The understanding I had about this essay is that a common misconception people have about girls and the way they present themselves is that they present themselves for men, and not for their own happiness. This is far from the truth, and you made sure this was made clear in your story. Kiah Johnson Your narrative was really good, as like you, I was raised to not show much skin unless it is appropriate, so I completely understand. I've never actually been interested in makeup at all, but I hope your mother soon lets you use it. For your writing, I really like the parts where you did a good job on adding your feelings as well as your parents, it made it more interesting. Caroline Pitone I thought that this personal essay was really good! This subject pertains to a lot of people. I think that your use of dialogue captured the readers attention and made everything clear to understand. Over all, well done! Log in to post a comment.