Sometimes a “Forever Home” is Not Supposed to be Forever

Sometimes a “Forever Home” is Not Supposed to be Forever

Many assume adoption is always the best option, that adoption is in every child's best interest. Some believe that the life of an adoptive human being, no matter the circumstances, is superior to being an orphan. While this can be true on many occasions, this is not true for everyone. A child that is adopted into a home does not have to be happy. While it is the goal of child services to find a permanent home for children who need one, it is also the goal to find homes that fit an adoptive child’s personality, but many times this does not happen. Some who are adopted are only adopted for government checks. Those who are adopted as children, and are able to make it out of their substandard adoptions tend to struggle to live a whole life, having their adoptive parents hang over their heads like the sword of Damocles. Adolescent and adults who want to annul their adoption, have the right to annul their adoptions because they are given way without their consent.

Many adults are theoretically independent from their families, but those trying to nullify their adoption are not independent. They must get their parent consent to annul their adoptions. Adolescents have less of a right. They must continue until their adoptive parents until their eighteenth birthday, and it is nearly impossible to annul an adoption before then. Many run away, on average adopted children run away almost four times the national average. The runaway average from adoptive children is 30.1%. Many of these children end up homeless, never to return home. The parents of these children will often times keep receive government funding for the child in hopes the child would return. The funding is supposed to be saved for the child, but instead, the adoptive parents may use it as a meal ticket on a spree for themselves.

Homelessness is no laughing matter. About 1.56 million people in the United States are homeless. In the United States alone, the average for teen homeless rates 2 million kids experiencing a period of homelessness every year. Many of those children are a child of adoption who were kicked out or forced to run away. “Young people who have been in foster care are 3 to 10 times more likely than their peers to experience homelessness.” (American Journal of Public Health, 2013).  Many of these young people have run away because their personalities didn’t pair up with the ones that they were placed with. This created a tense and hostile environment that was impossible to hide from. 57% of the children who ran away from their adoptive parents go at least a day without a meal every single month (Covenant House). This causes the loss of many young lives that no one will never know the name of.

Never having a choose who loves them, while those who are supposed to love the hardest give them away can never be easy.  Kaye Pearse, a writer for new source The Guardian, was adopted twice and her experience wasn't one that Lifetime decided to make a happy-go-lucky-movie about. Her parents gave her up at a young age, an agreement between the state and her biological parents, she had no parts of this contract, but would have to abide by it her entire life unless she could get it annulled (Guardian). Annulment isn't an easy process, as an adult, the only option is to get an attorney to aid the convincing of a judge to nullify an adoption. As a teenager, it can be even harder. They must also file a petition to annul an adoption. This petition must be signed by the biological parents or by the adoptive parents, as well make a case against the adoptive parents (Legalbeagle). The parents rule in this case as well the once child in this adoption still doesn't have the right to void his contract. And many will say that a child raised by their genetic components can’t end their contracts either, but they can apply for early emancipation.  Early emancipation allows for a child to be able to be free of their parents, and change their legal paperwork, such as their birth certificate say their legal name in replacement of their mother and, or, fathers names.

Many would say that annulling or reversing the adoption as an adoptive parent must be difficult as well. Adoptive parents actually have a much easier time when an adoption fails. An adoptive parent has the right to call for a disturbance in a child. This means that they can claim that the child is a disturbance in the home. In an article in Today, by Diane Mapes author of How to Date in a Post-Dating World, writes a rather serious article in a parent who have to reverse their adoption. Many of the parents are dealing with older children that they have adopted and couldn't handle. They were not use to children who scream inappropriate things in a public setting or children who ran across the street without looking (Today). They struggle to see the child's point of view of constantly craving the attention that biological children have received their entire lives. To reverse an adoption as a parent they must go into a courtroom and claim a disturbance in the child. They often times will refer them to a therapist before they allow them to annul the adoption. If the parents are not happy during the therapy sessions and it is shown to the child as well as the therapist, they then can reverse a child’s adoption and remove their name from the child.

Millions of people in the United States are adopted and many aren't happy with their adoptive parents and struggle to be happy, feeling locked into a forever binding contract. When asked, adults trying to get annulled might say that it is impossible to get annulled as an adult, But on closer inspection, they have a fixed mindset when it comes down to it, getting annulled at any age is very difficult but it is possible with a lot of determination. The reason a person may want to be annulled is never loving the people who adopted them, feeling like they never were given the choice of who would or wouldn’t love them. Adults who never felt this love fight many battles and lose battles due to needing signatures for their biological or adoptive parents, but many also win this battle, forcing a parent or a biological parent to give them this signature. This may not help the entire world directly. But with a teenager who can now get annulled, and put up for readoption can now be moved into foster or group homes that can help them move forward from all they lived through to become better adults. And for an adult, this may create a happier adult. And a deeper understanding for those who weren't adopted, to get to know the struggle of being adopted and not happy.

Works CIted

Pearse, Kaye. “Adoptees should be able to annul their relationship with their adoptive parents | Kaye Pearse.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 4 Aug. 2015, www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/04/adoptees-annul-relationship-adoptive-parents.  

“How to Nullify an Adoption for an Adult.” Legal Beagle, legalbeagle.com/7929259-nullify-adoption-adult.html.

“When a Forever Home Isn't Forever: The Reality of Adoption Dissolution.” Foster Care Newsletter, 1 Sept. 2014, foster-care-newsletter.com/forever-home-isnt-forever-reality-adoption-dissolution/.

“Child Welfare Information Gateway.” Child Welfare, Sept. 2011, www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/adopted0708.pdf. Accessed 24 Sept. 2017.

Mapes, Diane. “It takes more than love: What happens when adoption fails.” TODAY.com, TODAY, 1 Aug. 2012, 6:14am, www.today.com/parents/it-takes-more-love-what-happens-when-adoption-fails-918076.

“Third Party Statistics - National Runaway Safeline | National Runaway Safeline.” Https://Www.1800runaway.Org/, www.1800runaway.org/runaway-statistics/third-party-statistics/.

“Homelessness in America.” Statistics on Homeless Youth in America | Covenant House, www.covenanthouse.org/homeless-teen-issues/statistics.