The Nurse Who Shall Not Be Named

KaitlynsPersonalEssayDraft

Comments (7)

Cynthia To (Student 2019)
Cynthia To

Hi Kaitlyn, I enjoy reading you story because it made me feel that I also got injured. I get my big understanding is that not all nice can be nice but they also be mean and that family stick together. I like about the writing is that you tell detail by detail so the reader can have the feel for it like your pain in your leg waiting for your parents. This story was really good.

Ayala Silverman (Student 2019)
Ayala Silverman

What I got from the ending was that family will always be there to help you, especially if you fall (literally, in your case). I liked how you wrote the dialogue between family members because it showed that there was a lot of communication to help you.

Maddi Etxebeste (Student 2019)
Maddi Etxebeste

At the end of the reading I imagine that it would be a very bad experience, and that the first nurse only made it worse. The "big understandings" of this essay are the painful experience that it should be and that this kind of things can make the family more unified. I liked the way you narrate the story, in my opinion it's a very good work.

Benjamin Seing (Student 2019)
Benjamin Seing

I personally love the end and how you described what it's like to know the real personality of those you didn't know as well. I know that people can't always be fully understood even if they were family members. I personally do think that way too. I know that I don't know them as well but I can't always make mental judgement on others. Also about the nurse, I felt that it was her job to do what is best for the procedure yet I can understand that even the most tiring person with a job like that can be stressed with sleep. I love that the way your wrote the narrative that it does sound just like the way you speak. When you said, "All I wanted to do was smack her in the face with a piece of heavy machinery." I'm sorry if I had to laugh but it courage me to read more why you hated the overwhelmed nurse.

Caroline Pitone (Student 2019)
Caroline Pitone

I loved this! It showed a sense of family relationship. I also think that when you described the stability of your foot, it made me go ¨Oh man¨. I think that it was sweet that you included your brothers dialogue as well. Nice essay.

Jacobo Pastor (Student 2019)
Jacobo Pastor

What I got from this essay is that your family will be there in the good and bad moments of your life. They will support you and care about you even, as you said, behave "like another person" that you wouldn't see on a normal day. I really liked your descriptive language, like your metaphors or the sarcasm you put into the essay. I find the story interesting and all I can say its good job.

Lilly Roman (Student 2019)
Lilly Roman

My big takeaway was how family can come together when they need to and nurses get ruder the more tired they are. I liked your descriptions and your story flowed quite nicely. Your transitions and language were great. Your whole "smack her upside the head with a piece of heavy machinery" was straight out of Shakespeare. Good job.