The Pleasure and Pain In My Neck

(Kneels on floor) What's this I feel? A sharp pain in my neck, flashbacks of mine (foosh). My mind sounds something like that. My friend that I hold dear, clinging onto my body, holding me like prey on his bed. His name is Nick. I'm trying to move back, but I can't. I am stopped by his forceful arms and thirst for my blood. The fangs in my neck are so pleasurable and painful at the same time. But it all hurts. Not just my neck, but the pain in my brain is arising. I see a light, that keeps flashing, as my memories are flowing by. My memory is coming back, people who I cannot recall until now; my parents.

I'm Mei, and no, I am not a vampire, simply human, but I am very difficult to understand. I remember nothing from my past. The only person in my life was Nick, the vampire, and that's all I can recall. I sought him for answers, and for years he refused. I want answers, now that I am 18 years old, I think I can handle it.  Except I wanted to talk about it, not become someone's meal. Why now, in our home, did he give into the temptation, to bite me. I wish he told me instead, but I don't want him to let go, because, this is the only way I can look into my past, without lies. (sighs)

I see my parent standing, at the edge of a cliff. Answers answers, I need the answers! “Mommy, Daddy, where are you going.” I hear groans and moans, from the people who I seem to reach my hand out to. Long fangs comes down from their face and.. “ow OW!” the friend that I love, is clenching my neck even harder. Knowing that I am about to witness something painful (grabs neck)

The past begins to lead me to, wearing something sticky red. Blood, its blood. My white nightgown is stained in dread of red. The taste and texture do not tempt me, it's gross. (closes eyes and shakes head) I want it to go away. But my parents seem to enjoy it. As I reach out my hand, I notice the long teeth, and the major blood stains on their clothing. “WATCH OUT” says Nick in my memory. But why is Nick here. I hear the sound of gunfire, and I drop to the floor. I sat up, but my parents never did. (puts hands on face)

(sits down in chair) He took my parents away, without giving them a chance to redeem themselves. Lights, I am seeing more lights! MY head, oh my head...it spinning and it wont stop. Nick's fangs hurt, but these memories are killing me more. (stands up quickly and clenches hair)

My brain is playing like a record player. The Nick in my memories raises and protects me. I feel hurt, because, how can the person who killed my parents, raise me without showing any shame. He lied for so long. Experiencing both good and bad memories at the same time is difficult. I don't want to see them, good nor bad, they still traumatize me. I am afraid to lose the people I love again. Nick, my parents, the fear , the pain, the love and the blood. They all won't stop spinning around me.

His teeth are so painful and pleasurable I am losing consciousness. My mind is nonstop. Now that the bad things are over, I see him, only him. Caring and loving me. Before my mind stops playing like a cassette tape, I feel the tears that I have kept in for so long, run down my face. And I hug ?”
7ike a want something to come back.)

This feels like a dream. It's harder and harder to register all of this. Even though I know Nick is still at my neck, he will eventually let go. He will leave me, just like the rest everybody else in my life. Lights lights, flashing bright lights! I'm falling….Somebody please catch me! (pauses, and puts hood over head) Nick catching me, is the last thing I remember. He erased...my memories. (sits down from 3 seconds with eyes closed, then opens eyes)