For my senior capstone project, I restarted the SLA Selfcare Club. This club started in my sophomore year but due to the struggles of getting used to in person school, it did not continue. Due to the slow start up of the club two years ago, I knew that I wanted to bring the club back for my capstone. The origin of this club started over zoom in freshman year where everyone was in isolation and going through a huge change. The goal was to bring people together as a community but also improve oneself. Throughout the year, the SLA Selfcare Club has held two workshops, two spirit weeks, a fundraiser and also a freshman advice sheet. All events took a lot of brainstorming and planning which paid off in the end when the club would have many students engaging. My capstone project took a lot of dedication and promotion in hopes that it will enlighten the SLA community with new opportunities to build itself up. Through the club events, I was able to provide an engaging and loving space for all students to interact and spread kindness to one another.

Below shows he SLA Selfcare Club instagram page where new events would be posted. Along with the SLA Selfcare Club Calendar with all the events hosted. This is the link: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1p87XrqfxoCHvbkETzEADeGxpxpqicalJGKCD3duzboQ/edit?usp=sharing

This is the link to my bibliography: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19hoQ0fM6UJ3lepeOHgAu6_nTo07Hvdt4hXL2Hfe-eTI/edit?usp=sharing

In “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy, the man and the boy set off on a journey to the south in a post-apocalyptic world. Through dead bodies and abandoned towns, the two come across very few people and ultimately have to rely on each other. As I followed their adventures, I noticed the common theme of reassurance. Due to the many scary things in this world, the boy is in a constant state of fear. The man comforts and reassures the boy many times throughout this book in order to move on in their journey. They only have each other which is why it is key that McCarthy shows that the man genuinely cares about the boy. The connection between a father and son is incredible and is showcased by the level of comfort and security that the man provides the boy. But also the man often gaslights the frightened boy to justify his actions and their choices as a whole. In many moments, the man has to find ways to survive and collect supplies. He is so worried about their lives that he often has to lie to the boy just to explore abandoned places in order to not starve. Alongside this, the boy’s maturity continues to grow as the story progresses. As he starts to understand that the world is not so innocent, the boy begins to be a key part of the man’s decisions. The man is no longer making decisions for the boy and instead the one sided relationship becomes a partnership. The naive and innocent times of the man comforting the boy has now turned into the boy processing emotions and understanding the severity of their situation. As shown below, the map determines three key ways that reassurance is represented in this book.

Margaret Atwood has a very interesting way of describing Offred’s relationships in The Handmaid’s Tale. Offred is one of the fortunate women in Gilead that remembers the past life well. She was the mistress in Luke’s marriage and then they got married and had a baby girl. During the transition into this new society, the whole family is separated. Currently she is placed into the home of the Commander and Serena Joy. This is where she meets Nick. Nick’s role is unclear but he does wear a Guardian uniform. During their first interaction, “He takes a final puff of the cigarette, lets it drop to the driveway, and steps on it. He begins to whistle. Then he winks. I drop my head and turn so that the white wings hide my face, and keep walking. “(18) which then Offred is confused about his choices. Not only is this interaction very creepy but Offred’s first thought is to question him on his authority. I find it a little odd that Nick just winks at her specifically like does he do this often or is it just her? Margaret brings this interaction to life by the build up of Gilead. A man that isn’t the Commander is winking at a handmaid. From this point on, it just gets worse.

Nick works under the Commander just like everyone else but he seems comfortable in his position. The most off-putting moment is when he goes to find Offred at night and they end up in the sitting room. “He puts his hand on my arm, pulls me against him, his mouth on mine, what else comes from such denial? Without a word. Both of us shaking, how I’d like to.”(98) and they end up making out. Firstly this is extremely weird. I think it is interesting the dynamic of this situation. Offred knows that this is illegal and she could get in trouble if anyone found out. She is basically an object to the men in this society and she is portrayed with no significance other than to reproduction. Offred knows that women “are two-legged wombs, that’s all:sacred vessels, ambulatory chalices.”(136). I think back into our society about how women are manipulated in relationships and I feel like Luke has manipulated Offred. I think this is how cheating happens. Even though that is literally what happened between Luke and his ex wife where he left her for Offred, for some reason Offred is still in love with Luke. Maybe Offred just likes the idea of Luke and their past relationship.

Secondly, she is married… like she is so obsessed with her husband Luke that why is she kissing another man. To add on when Offred thinks “It’s so good, to be touched by someone, to be felt so greedily, to feel so greedy. Luke, you’d know, you’d understand. It’s you here, in another body.”(99). She begins to imagine Nick as if he is Luke but they are clearly different people. Is it because she misses Luke or maybe she feels guilty for kissing another man that she has to think about Luke? Why is Offred kissing another man but yet thinking it’s her husband? This love triangle thing is so confusing since Offred is obsessed with Luke but yet can’t see him. She doesn’t even know if he is alive. I will never understand this situation because when you love someone, you should only be able to focus on them. Even when Offred is constantly thinking about Luke, she proceeds to have this intimate connection with Nick and to make it worse, it’s also the Commander too.

The Commander holds a level of power that Offred will never obtain in Gilead. The whole love triangle plus the Commander is a mess if we look at it from a power perspective. Although we don’t know where Luke is, we can assume he has more power than Offred. Offred does not necessarily have power but her position is very important since she is a handmaid. I think that the growing love story between Offred and the Commander is cute but also risky. There is also an aspect of their relationship where the Commander is lonely. The Commander is finding someone to fill his void since the Commander’s Wife does not connect with him anymore. Even though this is not the first time the Commander has messed with a handmaid, Offred brings this situation into a different light as she is obsessed with Luke and also has a small thing for Nick which we can assume is the Commander’s right hand man. The entire love square thing is confusing but yet interesting in the way everybody reacts to each other.

Margaret Atwood built up a religious society that prioritze’s reproduction in The Handmaid’s Tale. As a society, women often fear men whether that be catcalling or assault. But there is also a selection of women who don’t feel disgusted by catcalling. Offred is a woman who has no power in her society, Gilead. She does not leave her house very much due to her role as a handmaid and when she does, she is with a partner. “As we walk away I[Offred] know they’re watching, these two men who aren’t yet permitted to touch women. They touch with their eyes instead and I move my hips a little, feeling the full red skirt sway around me.”(22) which infers that she feels a sense of power when she is provoking the young soldiers in the streets. It is quite odd how she does not feel fear during this moment and how big the contrast is compared to our society today.

Even though Gilead protects women now, it was never like that. The book mentions “rules that were never spelled out but that every woman knew: Don’t open your door to a stranger, even if he says he is the police… Keep the locks on and keep going. If anyone whistles, don’t turn to look.”(24). The past Gilead is very similar to our society now. The same rules apply to women today however, our society is definitely more dangerous. Women often fear talking to men in the streets due to activities like rape or assault. Although it is advised for women to not go out alone, many resort to having self defense weapons. Gilead solved this problem as Offred mentioned “We aren’t allowed to go there except in twos. This is supposed to be for our protection, though the notion is absurd: we are well protected already.”(19). The difference between Gilead and our society today shows how comfortable women feel around men in public.

This also brings up later on when Offred was “ashamed of [her]self for doing it”(22) which is how she acknowledges that it is wrong but yet she feels pleasure from doing it. This small bit of power she has over these men brings her joy due to her relation to men in general. but yet society makes it so women are only objects. As the Atwood “there is supposed to be nothing entertaining about us, no room is to be permitted for the flowering of secret lusts; no special favors are to be wheedled, by them or us, there are to be no toehold for love. We are two-legged wombs, that’s all:sacred vessels, ambulatory chalices.”(136). However this is not much different than our society today. Women are often seen as disposable and objects when it comes to men’s sexual desires. Offred knows she is only “for breeding purposes”(136) which makes this dynamic of a young man that can’t touch her and a woman who accepts the fact that she is just an object. In today’s society, women are not objects and many speak out on this subject. Feminist movements are bigger than ever and the people are fighting for women’s rights. This does not exist in the present Gilead however it may have been a movement in the past Gilead.

Although this ideology exists, women still find pleasure in being catcalled. In our society today, street culture often puts women in fear but catcalling is very two sided. One side is very disturbing where women are scared to walk outside, in fear that they will be touched. The other side is odd where women feel pride and an ego boost when a man shouts for them. Offred is a part of the other side but it is purely based on how Gilead functions as a society. Offred wants men to think about her and “hopes they get hard at the sight of us and have to rub themselves against the painted barriers, surreptitiously.” because this gives her the satisfaction she wants. Although a selection of women choose to brag and gloat about being catcalled, the majority are aware of the danger of men. Maybe women feel this way because of the lack of power these women feel. This could also contribute to their confidence and self esteem because they want to feel like they matter. Overall, it is a toxic mentality that kind of discards the fear factor of the society around women. Offred is protected in Gilead but women in today’s society still live in fear.

https://www.wevideo.com/view/2605307540

My original slate post, I spoke about how suicide is one of the leading causes of death and how mental health is one of the biggest factors of it. I included not only a chart of the leading causes of death in each age group but also provides a video narrates the experience and recovery of a suicide victim. I go into depth about different types of therapy that may help those who are seeking help while also providing a link to other ways to help prevent suicide.

Since that post, I have continued to try to raise awareness for suicide by focusing on one of the leading factors, mental health. In my engineering class, I decided to create an infographic that states “Do’s and Don’ts of Comforting Someone” and it came out nicely! I researched on this website and also asked a few friends on this topic. I also have been spending time researching different hotlines to call when you are in need and made a poster providing all these hotlines. These hotlines were made to help people in need and those who do not have someone to go to so by spreading these hotlines, it will encourage people to use them. If people actually decide to call or text these hotlines, it can decrease the number of people committing and that is exactly what I hope for.

On the Left, the “Do’s and Don’ts of comforting someone”infographic and on the right is the different hotlines poster.

For my Agent of Change project, I decided to start a selfcare club. Originally I wanted to keep my ideas virtual but after getting suggestions from teachers, I finally decided to start a club at SLA with my sister. We needed to create a proposal to send to Mr Lehmann and Mr Spry but we also wanted to create an interest form for the SLA community to fill out. Fortunately, our proposal got approved so the You & Me Selfcare Club will be opening the school year of 2021-2022!! The process was very nerve wracking and confusing since I am still new to SLA’s community. I think starting this club will hopefully make the SLA community closer and provide a safe space for students to have someone to talk to. The pandemic has sort of ruined our freshman experience so starting next year, I hope this club can allow all of us to get to know more about each other.

Above is the club proposal that I sent to Mr Lehmann and Mr Spry (click on it to view the whole presentation).

I genuinely hope this club will help the SLA community in a positive way. I am excited and quite nervous about starting this club next year but I am happily doing it to provide others a trustworthy space. I learned many things about mental health and will still continue to do research on it. I also found out the SLA community and staff are very supportive and kind-hearted, so to that, I will be very excited to meet everyone! Suicide is still a huge problem but we are talking it a step at a time. I think we should all remember to check up on our friends and also do mental check in for ourselves too. We should continue to care for each other and recognize our emotions, thoughts, problems and more. We should try to understand each other and keep our community healthy while also having fun. I will continue to plan the self care club to make it as enjoyable and informational as possible for next year so can’t wait to make a positive influence at SLA.

Annotated Bibliography

Suicide eliminates the potential to open a new chapter of life.

Suicide is definitely a problem in our society today and also the second leading causes of death between ages 15 to 24 according to US Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Many people today are or know of someone who has suicidal thoughts and organizations like the Suicide Prevention Hotline would like to help prevent these people from taking their own life. There are many ways to prevent the person from committing therefore we should make a huge effort as a society to make sure these people have the support they need. This is where regular people like me and you come in to support and prevent this cause.

Personally, I have never experienced such thoughts but I think everyone might know someone who does. I would like to bring this issue into light as something very important and allow us to observe our surroundings more. I believe that there’s always someone willing to listen to you and just because your closest ones don’t seem to care, even strangers are willing to listen. This is was a reason why the Suicide Hotline is available for everyone.

The second leading causes of death for some age groups was suicide in 2018 and sadly the ages start from as low as 10 to around 34 years old. In the US, one in five teengaers think about attempting suicide every year and this can be affected by many factors which may include certain life experiences, mental disorders, alcohol and much more.

A chart of the top leading causes of deaths by age groups in the US in 2018.

One of which is ninety percent of people who die by suicide have a mental health condition that may be treatable. In 2016, more than 90 percent of people that took their own life had depression or other mental disorders. Understandably many teenagers feel the pressure and stress to succeed in the future or worrying about things out of their control. As time passes and changes happen in our lives, the more stressful it might seem to make discoveries like what you’re passionate about, high school or college applications, career choices and many more.

TW: THE VIDEO TALKS ABOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT, SUICIDE AND MORE SENSITIVE TOPICS

A touching story and the journey of Travis, a suicide survivor and how his experience feeling these tough emotions.

Being able to observe your surroundings and communicate with people around you can be difficult but this should not stop you from saving a life. There are many ways you can look out for yourself and your friends by finding warning signs of when someone may be feeling off. One common warning sign is having a mental disorder. This topic isn’t something everyone can openly speak about but always remember to check up on your friends and family to make sure they are okay. There are many ways to prevent someone else from taking their life like therapy.

There’s many kinds of therapy but two types of therapy that I would like to mention recommends others to look into if they are or know of someone who is struggling. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to help people who are depressed. CBT can help people acknowledge their negative thoughts and find a positive way to cope with these thoughts so they don’t lead to unhealthy behaviors. Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is also helpful to those who are depressed but the therapy makes you more aware of the negative feelings and cope with them kind of on the spot. This can include breathing exercises or meditation.

Therapy is not the only way to prevent suicide. If you notice odd behavior or situations that may cause an individual to feel a negative way, you can always be a support friend and be there for them if they need someone. There are so many ways to prevent such events from happening and everyone should acknowledge the events that may lead up to a bad ending.

Studying more on this topic continues to add onto my mindset of we don’t really know what everyone is going through. The feelings and thoughts suicidal people might experience are indescribable and I don’t wish anyone to feel this way so I think as a society we should make a greater effort to prevent it. I am very interested in seeing the newer ways doctors and researchers find helpful in supporting suicidal behavior and how to notice before things get serious. I genuinely think the suicide should not be so high and wondering if we continue to move on in a society that doesn’t prioritize all lives, how many generations will live on?

Annotated Bibliography

En mi casa, hay mi mamá, papá, mis dos hermanas y un hermano. Mi familia es bajita, pero mi hermano Jun Jie es alto. Mi familia es simpática e inteligente. Tengo tres hermanos, dos hermanas y un hermano. Tengo cinco primos en Estados Unidos y más en China. Tengo muchos tíos y tía pero están en China.

Mi mamá es delgada y un poco bajita. Ella lleva el pelo corto, liso y castaño claro. Ella tiene los ojos cafés. Mi mamá es simpática, trabajadora, responsable y guapa. Ella no es ni antipática ni desordenada.

Mi hermana Cindy es bajita y delgada. Ella tiene dieciocho años. Ella lleva el pelo rubio corto lacio. Ella tiene los ojos cafés. Mi hermana Cindy es trabajadora, guapa, responsable y poco desordenada. Ella no es ni antipática ni alética.

Soy bajita y un poco delgada. Tengo catorce años. Tengo el pelo largo y liso. Mi pelo es castaño oscuro. Tengo los ojos marrones. Soy inteligente, simpática y divertida. No soy antipática ni alética.

Mi mamá y yo tenemos los ojos marrones. Ella tiene el pelo corto, pero yo tengo el pelo largo. Ella lleva el pelo rubio, pero yo tengo el pelo castaño. Nosotras somos simpáticas y trabajadoras. Mi mamá es un poco desordenada, pero yo soy más desordenada. Mi mamá y yo somos divertidos.

Standing in the shoes of an Asian American is kind of complex. You chose how much of each culture you would like to include into your life. Just like Trevor, he had a hard time figuring out his identity being a mixed child. He acknowledged both sides but chose to immerse himself into black culture.

In a way, I did the same. I acknowledged my American side but chose to be more immersed into Asian culture. Both me and Trevor face the fact that we are surrounded by both cultures but one more than the other. He chooses to surround himself and talk to black people but for me, I live in America so I tend to embrace my American side more as an instinct. But both of us chose what side we prefer to surround us and it helps build our character.

I think the most touching quote was on page 46 when he said “… but I didn’t belong with the white kids. I wasn’t a part of their tribe. But the black kids embraced me.” His situation was definitely the opposite of mine. Instead of having a negative view of one culture, I chose to embrace myself in American culture while immersing myself in my Asian culture. I let the American culture surround me while I spent the small details focusing on my Asian ways of living. A fair balance.

Throughout my memoir, my culture does have a huge influence on the way I think and how I interact with people. There are so many differences between the two countries and I often find it hard to balance myself. Knowing how people think and communicate on both sides, I always have a different perspective on everyone’s opinion. It’s the way Americans have their own plates of food while Asians eat with many bowls shared across the table. It’s how many Americans find makeup and hair styling something a girl should learn while Asians teach kids how to sew. It’s the small details in each culture that builds my character and how I like to look at things.

https://www.wevideo.com/view/2007492908

I specifically wanted to write a letter to the audience about self love and how someone else’s opinion could affect you. I made this in late October 2020 as a school project and as a strong message to the people who watch it. I originally was going to submit a piece of paper with all the same things written on it but then I decided to make a video. I went with the format of a lyrics video because it will be eye catching to watch and visually understandable.

I think this connects to the theme because even though insecurities were already a thing before this year, I recently have been thinking more about myself and how others think of me since we are all locked in our house. With no human contact, many people can start thinking bad and the internet is a big influence since we can’t see each other. I made this to hopefully reassure people that no matter what situation, you should always be yourself. 

Of course I didn’t just boringly repeat “be yourself” over and over again in the video but instead use my motto which is to be “perfectly imperfect.” It might sound very cheesy but I genuinely think that perfect can be anything is our eyes whether or not someone else has an opinion on it. Many believe that perfect isn’t real and that when I think they’re wrong. In their eyes it can be imperfect while in yours it’s perfect so technically in a good way, you’re perfectly imperfect.

I wouldn’t say I have completely accepted myself and that I don’t care what others think of me but that’s what I’m trying to progress in even when I was making this video. I have accepted most of my flaws and I do realize I am not perfect and I will never be perfect but if I can fully embrace myself and acknowledge all the positive things in my life, I will happily say I am perfectly okay with that.

This whole video project is dedicated to the people in the generation younger than me who cares about their reputation and looks more than what reality is. Hopefully my project will help people improve themselves and help them through this horrible time. Also to help make them realize what’s important in life.