The idea for my capstone is to connect with as many communities as I can and share as much love as I can. I would like to start practicing some networking skills before I go to college. As the product of my capstone, I decided to make appreciation cards and send them to various organizations. One of my favorite hobbies is to scrapbook and journal. This is a perfect mixture of a passion project and for me to improve on my networking skills. I learned to create opportunities for myself and problem solve when things do not go as planned. I also learned to appreciate the little things more.

This is one of the workshops we did during our club. We made affirmation posters for this workshop. There were many other workshops such as making cards for disabled kids, and thanksgiving card fundraiser.

This is one of our club members making a card for disabled kid. They were sent to various organizations such as Cards for Hospitalized Kids and The Confetti Foundation.

This is a close up example of one of the cards. This was made by one of the club founders. Many stickers were used to brighten up the cards and bring personality to the paper.

Speakers: Ana Blumberg, Lia Dunkin, Josie Silver, Adrie Young, and Tina Zou.

In the new podcast 1984+, hosts Tina Zou, Adrie Young, Ana Blumberg, Lia Dunakin, and Josie Silver will explore the contents of the classic dystopian novel by George Orwell. Episode one dives into the first seventy pages of the book, and discusses the literal and figurative aspects of the book thus far.

LISTEN HERE: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1weq1Hdr04TA0dW2SdIxY18AmNuovxJnb/view?usp=drive_link

The three major houses in the book seem to connect to the comfortability between the man and the boy. It seems to be like a milestone and a way for readers to reflect on how far the man and boy has come. It is interesting to see how their dynamic changes throughout the book. To talk about the houses, I decided to draw the cell house, the bunker, and the luxurious house. I felt like those were the moments you can tell how the power of the man has shifted and slowly balanced out to where the boy has a say in the decision making. In the cell house, the boy does not want to enter the house but the man insists “It’s okay. We have to take a look.”[106]. What they found in the house were naked people getting ready to get eaten so I think this sort of traumatized the man to be more cautious. In the bunker, the man was more thoughtful of the boy’s feelings. The boy “had his fist clutched at his chest and he was bobbing up and down with fear. The man dropped the shovel and put his arms around him.”[135]. By the luxury house, the man softens up the boy’s feelings and takes more of an emotional approach to ensure the boy is okay. The man asked, “Are you scared?”[204] and the boy responds “Yes.”[204]. The houses definitely show a change in relationship dynamic between the man and boy. The man adjusts to the boy as the boy values more civil ideas like helping others and being afraid.

I get intrigued when the author speaks about intimacy and sex. I think there is a lot to say about how our society deals with sex and intimacy versus the Republic of Gilead.

The Republic of Gilead tends to denounce sex and intimacy. “That was a part of it, the sex was too easy. Anyone could just buy it. There was nothing to work for. Nothing to fight for” [page 210]. I somewhat agree with this. I wonder if sex is meant to be sacred. I think this idea could be influenced by religious belief that once ruled the US. Personally, I think sex is whatever you make of it. I don’t like to say it is easy to have sex, I think sex is more accessible because more people are willing to talk about it now. It is less taboo now due to our generation. The age of sex seems to go lower and lower because of media influence. It used to be upwards of 20 and now it can be ranging from 15+. I don’t have a problem with it though, it is just interesting to notice what caused the age of interest. As long as it is consensual and legal, I am indifferent about age or age gap during sex.

Throughout the whole book, there is a bad connotation about sex. There are no feelings involved but in a bad way. People agree with friends with benefits and that is a destructive relationship people choose to put themselves in. In Gilead, it is not an agreement. There is no choice. There are no feelings attached to your decision on sex. “But this is wrong, nobody dies from lack of sex. It’s lack of love we die from. There’s nobody here I can love, all the people I could love are dead or elsewhere”[page103]. Love is a connection. I think love can be interpreted in different ways since there are many ways to show someone you love them. I think connection is something humans crave so I can understand why Offred is going insane. Especially since she was torn from her relationship with Luke. She definitely longs for feeling. The feeling to be needed and being something to someone. I would probably go insane as well. As an introvert, I need a lot of validation from myself and people I really care about. The reassurance aspect of a relationship knowing someone is present in your life gives your stability. Offred does not have stability in her life. I believe that is why she thinks about Moria and Luke often. She is holding on to the stability she used to have.

I was gasping while reading this section. In. Literal. Shock. It was so casual before and then boom. “Women kneeling, sucking penises or guns, women tied up or chained or with dog collars around their necks, women hanging from trees, or upside-down, naked, with their legs held apart, women being raped, beaten up, killed.”[page 118]. How is this even allowed?! I think porn is unrealistic and especially the example Aunt Lydia gives. The extremities of certain topics instill fear. It is true but unrealistic on a general scale. I do understand how porn creates unrealistic standards for couples. Porn makes sex more difficult with fake scenes and noises. It is overly dramatized and if you don’t fit a certain way of doing sex, then you’re bad at sex. I also think hookup culture could be one of the reasons why Gilead exists. People frown upon sex workers and easy sex. The way how sex can be for many things such as imitancy, fun, and reproduction. Gilead only views sex for reproduction purposes. There should be no pleasure in sex as it is a human duty to reproduce. I do not agree with this idea. Sex should feel comfortable and pleasurable. Breeding is a human duty but it should be consensual for both parties. The Republic of Gilead wants to strip the connection built in sex and have breeding done in its most natural form. It is not enjoyable for all parties as shown during the Ceremony. It feels like a simulation of life. It may be simple to follow but it is unethical in ways. It reminds me of forceful dog breeders. People should be able to build connections and be intimate with each other in ways they may not do with others. Sex is sacred in a sense that individuals share it by their own decision. Choice is what they need. Sex is a choice. Intimate sex is what humans deserve.

I decided to focus my artwork on a brief event in chapter 8. On Offred and Ofglen walk home, a funeral of three women – an Econowife, a mourner, and her friend possibly – pass by them. “The first one is the bereaved, the mother; she carries a small black jar. From the size of the jar you can tell how old it was when it foundered, inside her, flowed to its death”[page 44]. I want to draw the jars of dead babies. I imagine it to be foggy inside the jar instead of a solid black color. I drew some texture inside the jar so it looked like particles instead of a smooth, solid black liquid.

I drew small puddles of blood to resemble death. I could only imagine how they got the dead baby out of the women. Since people of Gilead only do natural birth, I doubt they use any medication to help ease pain for the women if they were in pain before or after their birth.

I wanted to use a vibrant red color to represent the recurring red symbol in the book. “Everything except the wings around my face is red: the color of blood, which defines us” [page 8]. Red represents blood which is what makes a person. So red is in you. Why are Handmaids the only ones wearing red? The symbol of the color red is unclear but I do have many theories. Much like the theory I recently stated, Red is resembling bodies, but bodies who are capable of getting pregnant. I do think it could be an idea but I also feel as though blood has a negative connotation. The war could be a factor. I think blood on your hands (murder) is a bad thing if it is for the wrong cause. “Sometimes they’ll be there for days, until there’s a new batch, so as many people as possible will have the chance to see them.” For men to be hanged to show Gilead’s power. The murder is on Gilead, not the people who hanged them on the Wall. The bloody men on the Wall is okay but blood is to show fear or instill fear.

I drew a table in the background to show how people of Gilead don’t know where dead babies go, let alone dead people. It is an interesting concept in the book where they’re aren’t really a lot of old people in the world. I imagine it’s like leaving something on a table in your house. If someone else walks by, the person may wonder whose it is. There is a select amount to choose from. I don’t know why I thought of it like that. Pregnancy is not common and celebrated largely in Gilead. So if someone sees a black jar, there is only a select group of people who may claim the jar. So it is a process of elimination and determining the timeline to which they may figure out who the baby belongs to. This probably doesn’t make any sense but that is how I thought of it. I do hope they bury the baby but they could also repurpose it in a way (fuel..?).

Overall, I really wanted people to focus on the jars and I put Gilead right next to the jars on purpose so viewers can see what Gilead is doing to premature babies.

Previously, I researched and went in depth on why my topic of body positivity was important. I cited multiple sources and found how misunderstood the body positivity movement is. I said I hoped to clear misconceptions and impact the body positivity community positively.

Since that post, I’ve dug deeper into how I can impact the community with my knowledge. My English teacher sparked an idea to my twin sister, Gina, saying creating a club can be helpful to the school community. She brought up the idea to me and we decided to collaborate on the club idea. Her topic was suicide and mine is body positivity so we decided to make our club focus on self care. Our club is called You & Me Club. First, I decided to do some research on support groups and how being in a support group can be beneficial. In the article, ‘How to Choose the Right Support Group’ by Mayo Clinic, it gives both perspectives on why support groups are good and bad. It allows people to be able to lean on people who experience similar problems. Support groups can also be used as a sense of motivation to go through a journey with others; it makes people feel less alone.“A support group among people with shared experiences may function as a bridge between medical and emotional needs.” It can be hard to trust a doctor so finding people in the patient’s age range going through similar problems can help the patient open up more. There are also cons to every pro. It may be possible that people may compare themselves to each other. For example, degrade their problems and tell themselves that others have it worse. I believe the pros outweigh the cons. Being with a group of people who already have something in common with you can be a good ice breaker. I believe support groups build a family and the bond is strong. Even though there are cons, it can always be fixed. To my example, people in the support group can make it known that it’s not a competition if we are all on the same team.

Group of people counseling together

Based on the information I gathered from my research, I think creating a club in the SLA community can be beneficial to students - and teachers if they like to attend. In order to start a club in SLA, I have to make a proposal to the principal, Mr.Lehmann and the program manager, Mr.Spry. Me and Gina spent a few days working on a google slide as our proposal. After completing the proposal slides, we started drafting the email. Here is the email:

“Good Morning Mr. Lehmann and Mr. Spry,

We are Gina and Tina Zou, freshmen here at SLA. Recently we have been working hard with Ms. Giknis and our advisors to plan a self care club! As new additions to the SLA community, we hope to make a positive influence in our time here by starting a club that allows students to learn more about themselves and their mental health. We would like to propose this club idea to you, so please click on this link to view our proposal.

We hope to receive approval to launch this club next year (2021-2022). If there are any questions, feel free to ask! We will try to answer them as detailed as possible.

Thank you for your time and consideration, Gina Zou & Tina Zou”

In addition, we decided to create an interest form to put in the advisory memo to help give a sense on what best fits for the community. After two minutes of just sending the proposal email, we got a reply! Our club accepted to open next year. It may be a slow process but I believe it will pay off in the long run. Creating a self care club for the community can boost people’s awareness on mental and emotional health. Our objective for our club is “You & Me Club seeks to create a safe environment to talk about emotions and mental hardships. It is important to care for mental health. So You & Me Club hopes to increase awareness of mental and emotional exhaustion and prevent people from blocking out their feelings any longer. This club will hopefully positively affect the SLA community and bring us closer together.” Even though this change will be slow but steady, hopefully it helps people.

I really enjoyed doing this project. Even though the club is starting in the school year of 2021-2022, I already know it’s going to make me step out of my comfort zone. I technically already did since I committed to this club. I hope the club succeeds. I didn’t realize how toxic people can be when they are uneducated or misinterpret something. Looking into plus-size activists really made me frustrated when people are so fast to judge. I felt as though I could’ve spent more time researching for the Agent of Change part. I think my research was enough to pass but I knew I could’ve done more. I do know I will continue to learn how to conduct a club to its fullest potential. I still need to wait for the club to launch next year. I hope people will join to help themselves and others. If you are interested, please do fill out this form so we can include what you like in the club. We hope to see you next year in our meetings:)

Annotated Bibliography

What do you imagine would be an ideal body type? You probably think skinny, thin and tall. Now did you achieve that body type or are working towards that body type? Our society is making it seem like there is only one beautiful, healthy body type. It can be very difficult to feel comfortable in your own skin when you are constantly fed this narrative that fat people are ugly or people who are too skinny are unhealthy. It’s like you are only allowed to look a certain way to be deserving of self love. That’s why The Body Positivity Movement was created “…to help people with marginalized bodies (read: fat, queer, trans, bodies of color, and more) feel entitled to self-love, something that had previously been reserved for people in privileged (read: thin, white, fit) bodies,” stated by Julia Malacoff in “Where the Body-Positivity Movement Stands and Where it Needs to Go”. I want to impact the Body Positivity Movement positivity by trying to clear misconceptions that body positivity can’t be for fat or too skinny people. Everyone deserves to love and be comfortable in their own body.

I’ve always been a person to not care about expectations on my appearance but sometimes it can be hard. People constantly compare themselves to each other whether it’s consciously or subconsciously. It’s hard to see my friends cry themselves to sleep knowing they don’t have society’s ideal body type. “That is an enormous (and nonsensical) leap from trying not to hate yourself or making the effort to stop forcing yourself to fit into an impossible cultural standard.” says Kaila Prins, a body positivity wellness coach and burlesque teacher in ‘What Does Body Positivity Actually Mean?’ by Psychology Today. The standards society makes doesn’t mean you are healthy being a certain size but it doesn’t mean you aren’t healthy either. It is unrealistic. I don’t want to see people in my life starve and degrade themselves because they think they look ugly. Diversity is a good thing and we should accept our unique looks.

brief introduction to The Body Positivity Movement

There’s been a lot of misconceptions about body positivity. Especially nowadays, there’s been a lot of backlash to plus-size people promoting body positivity and the audience saying it’s promoting obesity and unhealthy lifestyle. Why can’t plus-sized people love themselves? Are only skinny people allowed to promote body positivity? Plus-sized people aren’t any less human than anyone on the streets. They have hobbies, interests, and goals. Some people have to live “overweight” in society to maintain a healthy body. It is disrespectful to assume someone is unhealthy because they aren’t the skinniest. In some cases, people don’t take care of their body and overeat but it’s unrealistic to let that group of people represent the whole plus-sized community.

There is no perfect body. We are all unique and beautiful.

Body positivity isn’t about being skinner or losing weight. It’s about feeling comfortable in your body and responding to your body’s needs such as hunger. There is no image of what a “healthy body” should look like. Everyone’s body is different therefore there shouldn’t be a standard. Everyone’s version of healthy is different. When plus-sized body positivity influencers decide to lose weight, they are portrayed as “traitors” for not showing body positivity by changing; this misconception has led their supporters to turn on them. These misconceptions make it extremely hard for anyone to promote body positivity. If plus-sized influencers have to live plus-sized forever and can no longer change their body how they want because they would be “betraying” the movement, then what’s the point of promoting to be happy with your body? Dieting and changing your body has nothing to do with body positivity as long as you feel comfortable and happy, there should be no problem. There’s research that states if you hate yourself, you won’t take care of yourself. Therefore, if plus-sized influencers can’t diet or lose weight for their personal reasons then I see no reason why they’ve been supported so long.

Deep insight of plus-size models and judgements as a body positivity influencer

I don’t blame supporters or daily people for not understanding the body positivity movement. There is no official definition for body positivity. Our society has fed us too well with lies and unrealistic expectations. I always thought body positivity was very straightforward but after diving in, I realized how big the spectrum is. Not only plus-sized people getting backlash but skinny people are getting backlash also. I’m glad certain magazines decide to ban photoshop on their pictures and clothing brands expanding their sizes. There is progress to be made but at least we are going somewhere. I wonder when people will feel like being fat isn’t gross or only skinny people are pretty. I hope I can learn more on the pressures of not only being an influencer but a body positivity influencer. How does it feel that your image is based on your body? Is it scary to change your body and constantly be examined by your supporters? Being a promoter of body positivity, is it more beneficial to you or your supporters? Why?

ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1c9rvk1PNyb74YR5yqH7Y9UDttaeQWZvLic3hRLQuwaY/edit?usp=sharing

Mi nombres es Tina Zou. Tengo tres hermanos. Tengo siete tías y cuatros tios. Tengo trece primos. En mi casa hay mi mamá, papá, hermano mayor y hermana mayor, y mi gemela.

El nombre de mi hermana mayor es Cindy. Tiene el pelo corto, liso y rubio. Tiene ojos cafés. Ella es bajita y flaca. Ella es trabajadora y generosa. Ella es muy divertida. Ella no es perezosa.

El nombre de mi mayor hermano es Jun Jie. Tiene el pelo corto, liso y negro. Él tiene los ojos color cafés. Es alto y musculoso. Él es responsable y divertido. Él es muy inteligente. Él no es antipático.

Mi nombre es Tina. Tengo el pelo largo, liso, y castaño. Tengo los ojos cafés. Soy baja y flaca. Soy amigable y ansiosa. Soy muy independiente. No soy habladora.

Mi hermano mayor y yo somos muy similares. Nosotros somos independientes. Mi hermano es alto pero yo soy bajo. Él tiene el pelo corto y yo tengo el pelo largo. A nosotros nos gusta vestir de negro. Nos encanta jugar videojuegos. Él es muy sociable y estoy callada.

My concept is that we have so much time being trapped at home but once you start to think about it, you can’t recall what you’ve done. It’s like it never happened. I am a reflective person and when I can’t remember what I did today, then did today even happen? Everyone is in quarantine nowadays, so there is more time to reflect on yourself. It’s not something many people do on a day to day basis. Then there’s other things going on and it makes it even harder to focus on yourself but then we can’t block out everything and pretend it’s not happening. Sometimes it’s like we have nowhere to run. It feels as if this is never going to end. It’s been hard to constantly have a positive mindset being thrown into a situation like this. As a freshman, I lost my chance of making friends and walking into my school to meet all my kind teachers. I’m stuck with awkward zoom calls everyday with people that I never met before. I definitely know I’m not the only one that is going through this. I have a sister in senior year and she lost her homecoming. It was something she was looking forward to and I bet many others were too. We are all at loss. We can only go up from here. We all know social media has been a lifesaver during this crisis but it’s not always as helpful. Social media has definitely gone more toxic during this time period. We are all constantly breathing down each other’s throats trying to find some sort of drama or entertainment, and if there isn’t any, make some. For me personally, I have seen toxicity gone up and it has affected me. Teens of our generation rule social media. If someone is not as educated then that’s their problem but once they bring it to a platform and speak about false claims, it’s everyone’s problem now. It’s just if you engage or not. I wanted to write about our “loss” time because it’s not something people think about. I believe we can all be productive during this crisis in our own ways but sitting there isn’t going to help. Time is precious especially now. There is no going back so moving forward is the only path we have.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qaHJ1O1xn0PJvZGHFZby5g_3E_MSPezV/view?usp=sharing