Rachel Patterson Public Feed

It's really over.

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
"I don't feel like reflecting much more or talking about things that I cannot even describe."

I love that sentence, Megan.  I don't know why, but it's very poetic and it basically explains how I am feeling most of the time.

& I agree. I kind of feel numb right now.  It hasn't set in just yet that I am actually graduating.

I don't know how to snap out of my "stress-over-schoolwork" mode.  My brain keeps drifting back to moodle every few minutes just to remember that I literally have NOTHING left to work on.

Holy shit.

It's really over.

Yeahhh!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I swore I told you that story before, Freda! Fawn had found him on her street near her dad's house one day and called me and was like "Hey Rachel, do you want a baby bird?"

My mom and I rushed down there to get him. We had him for only about a week and he wasn't scared of us at all.  He was a fledgling, so he could almost fly but wasn't quite ready yet.

I'm trying to find the pictures I have of him. 

Oh, and I named him Gingersnap! :D

I'll post the pictures here if I can find them.

Baby

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
i was going to post something about Hangover 2, but then i was completely blown away by Freda's picture below.

:(

shit like that gets me so depressed.

many of you may not know this, but i love birds.

and during this season, so many birds die from falling from their nests. and for some reason, i keep stumbling upon all of these dead little babies.

i know it's a part of life, but i hate it.

many of you know about my tragic experience of when my pet parakeet died of cancer a few years ago.

but once, about two summers ago, i tried to save a baby bird who had been thrown from his nest in a thunderstorm. i kept him for a few days in a small box and fed him as though i was his mother. i would have to feed him every 25 minutes and wake up with him in the morning when he would start to cry. i was giving him this gross mush mixture of baby food, cat food, and bread. he would actually sit in my palm and open his little mouth so i could drop the food in. he would also cuddle next to me to keep warm when i took him outside to sit in the grass.

ughh.

he died in my hands about a week later as i kissed him goodbye.

:(

apparently he had been pretty traumatized by the fall, considering his missing patches feathers that weren't growing back.

i will always have a place in my heart for my "adopted baby".

American Idol

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I haven't really been into the show since the 8th season started. 

But I was aware of who the final two contestants were this season.

And I can honestly say that I think both people sucked.

However, the girl sucked less than that "Scotty McCreery" guy.

He is TERRIBLE.


Capstone

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Last night I realized that I had to write a three page rough draft of my capstone defense paper.  I also had to throw together a power point by Friday.  Guess how long it took me to do all that?

About 1 hour.

I can't believe that I've gotten to this point.  Other people are freaking out about how much work they have to do and how terrible writing a three page paper is.

And I wrote a basically perfect essay in a flash.

School has gotten the best of me.



Weekend

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Absolutely exhausted.

Called out of work yesterday.

Went to Applebee's for Patty's birthday.

Got some ice cream.

Had an amazing time at prom with my perfect boyfriend.

Spent the night at his house.

Now I have to go to work today.

I HATE MCDONALD'S.

Vacationing in Delaware again this year!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I LOVE REHOBOTH BEACH!

Last summer and two summers before that, my family was invited to my mom's friend's beach house on Rehoboth Beach for a few days. 

I swear, this is the most ideal place to get away from reality and spend a little time focusing on de-stressing.

And we get to go again this summer!

YESSSSSSSSSSSS!

Here are a few pictures from last year!
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Starting Anew

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Yesterday was my last day at Acme.  It was a sad day but now I'm actually kinda relieved.

No more pushing millions of carts.  No more leaking trash bags.  No more rotten fruit.  No more spills in isle 11.  No more shop-backs.  I'm officially DONE!

I told them that I'd come visit because I know that I'm most likely going to be in that store constantly.  After all, I want to keep in touch for when they do call me back.  And they have to call back the layoffs first before they hire anyone new so I know they'll call me eventually.

I start my orientation at McDonald's today! 

I'm ecstatic.


Yay!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
So I applied for a 1,000 scholarship from my bank a few months ago.

I got a letter in the mail two days ago that said that I didn't get the award.

However, I got a $25 American Express gift card just for applying. :D

I felt so grown up today swiping my card at the store and even having to sign a slip for verification.

Oh yeahhhhh.

Really Though?

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Homeless people.

How many have to come up to me in the morning and ask me for change before they realize that I barely have enough change for myself?

Come on now.

Don't you see me paying for my fruit salad in pennies?

lmao.

This is what if feels like living paycheck to paycheck.

SMH

Looking Back

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
About a year ago, I was filling out a million applications a day, trying to get a job.  I didn't care who hired me; I was just desperate for something.

While working in the lit lab one afternoon, I got a call from Sue, the assistant store director at Acme.  She told me that she reviewed my online application and would like to schedule an interview.  I was ecstatic.

A week later, I met with the store director of the Andorra Acme.  Right from the start, I knew that Joe liked me after we started talking about music and Paramore.  He told me that I was just the person he was looking for and hired me right then and there.

Once I began working, I made sure to put in 100% of my effort every single day.  I followed the "GOT" values, which are the essential customer satisfaction rules: Greet, Offer, and Thank anyone who walks into the store.  I was praised many times for my wonderful service.

Yesterday I had a meeting with Sue to discuss the changes that Supervalu and Acme had in store for the upcoming months.

Then she told me that the company, not her and Joe, had decided to lay me off.

I took the paper she handed me that basically said my hire date and official end date of May 7th.

I ran to the bathroom and fell apart.  How could this happen?  I worked so hard to do my best and to make every Acme customer feel welcome.  I exceeded expectations as an Acme associate and planned on staying with that company for a long time.

As I was leaving, Sue said "Trust me.  You're one of the ones I want to keep." 

I found out that Mike Rice, another grocery employee, was also laid off.  He and I have been friends since I began working there.  Although he acted like he wasn't as upset as me, I could tell he was hurting just as bad.

I have made so many great friends working at Acme.  The joking and playing around made the work experience extremely fun. There were times when I actually wanted to go to work early  because I knew that I would have such a great time working alongside those particular people.  My job became enjoyable, which is ideal for anyone who has to work such long shifts like I did.

I have come to realize that although I am devastated at Acme's decision, I have gained so much experience working there.  I now have the ability to take that experience and reference and use it to find another job in the future.

With that said, I am starting my McDonald's job next weekend.  It just so happens that McDonald's is in the same shopping center as Acme.  Guess who is going to be visiting Acme every so often?

:p

Jobs

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
After reading ​Patricia's last post, it really got me thinking.

It is so hard for people to obtain jobs with the current state of the economy.

It is a fact that the unemployment rate in the U.S. is high.

But I have two jobs.

Not just one.  But TWO JOBS.

I don't know whether I just got lucky or is it a product of my hard work?


I know I already posted about them but...

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
People could learn a lot about family and responsibility from watching these eagles. 

When two bald eagles are attracted to one another and decide to mate, they stay together for the rest of their lives.  That means NO CHEATING!

Around that time, both the mother and father eagle go out and search for the perfect nesting site to lay their eggs.  They bring in more sticks and random fluff to make the nest nice and cozy.

Then, after the mother lays the eggs, the father eagle checks on her frequently and brings her fresh food.  He oftentimes grooms her and makes sure that she is happy.

When she is tired of sitting on the eggs, they switch nest duty.  The father sits on the eggs until mother returns.

After the babies hatch, both mother and father eagle take turns tending to the babies.  They keep the nest very warm by continuing to bring in new sticks, leaves, and animal pelts from their kill.  The babies are fed every two hours when they are young, and the parents continue to switch nest duty every so often.

Sometimes, the mother and father are both in the nest at the same time.  Usually, whoever is sitting on the babies will back up and let the babies poke their heads out so that the other eagle can feed them.  This is an adorable sight!

Because an eagle's nest is so high up in the tree, about 80 feet, storms are pretty harsh.  During heavy storms, the mother and father both spread out their wings to protect the babies from the cold wind and rain.  They keep the babies safe and secure at the very bottom of the nest.

When two people decide to have children, they take on a huge responsibility.  Humans sometimes disregard their duties as gaurdians, thus abandoning their children or neglecting them.  However, the Decorah Bald Eagles have been nesting for a very long time, and they clearly understand what it means to be parents.

i'm weird.

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
From the moment I started taking notice of boys in like, first grade, I have always been the one to fall in love sooo easily.

I can become so instantly attracted to a guy for any random reason....whether it be because of his looks, his personality, or how nice he was to me on the bus this morning.

I know this is probably a really bad thing, but I just can't help it...

But there's this one guy in particular... <3

It's just the little things that he does that make me sooo damn anxious to see him and talk to him again.  The way he teases me as if we were little kids or the way he acts like he doesn't get jealous when he sees me with another guy.  I like that "tough guy" approach he takes whenever I need his help.  And he's always there to back me up in an argument and take my side.

I like his sarcasm and his crooked smile. :]

It's really hard to explain. :\

Just had to get that out there.





i just

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I just want to graduate high school.

I don't want to go to college now. 

That can wait.

I just want to work.

I don't want to worry about how much money we have.

Because anything is possible when we have each other.

I just want to start our family.

Because if other people can do it, so can we.

I don't want to save up for a house now.

I'm okay with where we are.

I just want to be here with you.

Because with love, we can do anything.

I promise we can make it work.

Tree Tending

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
So I woke up today at 9:05 am and preceded to drag myself out of my nice, comfy bed to go plant a tree...

I put on some shitty clothes and got a ride from my dad down to the Kendrick Recreation Center.  I waited around for a while until the coordinator, Jill, showed up with her crew.

I volunteered for about an hour and basically helped move the trees to their locations and dig giant holes in the tree pits.  I planted one bare root tree and then left.  It took me about an hour.

It was freezing outside and I was exhausted, but now I feel kind of good about myself.  I did something positive for my neighborhood and now every time I walk by that tree, I'll remember that I helped make that tree's life possible.

Day of Silence

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Today I am participating in the "Day of Silence" to draw attention to the growing problem of LGBT bullying and harassment.  I did not participate last year because I felt as though the cause was irrelevant to my life because at the time, I had no gay, bi, or transgenders friends.  But recently, all of that has changed.

One of my closest family members has recently come out as a lesbian.  Although my family and I are a little bit skeptical because she is so young, we are still considering the seriousness of it all, and we are making sure that she feels accepted. 

I realize that there are some families that would be very upset at the idea of one of their members being homosexual.  My family is very open and loving, and I know that if more families were like mine, more people would feel comfortable with being who they truly are and expressing their inner feelings.

BIRTHDAYYYY!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Tomorrow is my mommy's birthday... I'M EXTRA EXCITED!

I've been trying to figure out what to get her for her gift, even though I'm pretty sure that I gave my dad five dollars towards something for her that she really wanted back in March....but he doesn't seem to remember this so whatever. :p

Anyway, I think I am going to buy her flowers and her favorite candy (peanut M&M's).

Oh, and we are going to Olive Garden for dinner on Thursday. :D

Yayyayayayaya.

P.S.: Freda looks very good in a dress so everyone should just deal with it when she wears one to school and stop freaking out like "OMG FREDA YOU'RE A GIRLLLL?"

DUHHHHHH people.

k thankkkks!


Best News EVER!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
So I walked into English class to find Jeff Kessler sitting in my seat.  That's not good news...

But then he told me to check my Calculus grade online because Mr. Latimer graded the benchmarks over the weekend. 

I almost died.

I quickly opened my laptop and logged on to moodle.  With a few clicks I had accessed my Calculus online grade book.  I held my breath as the page loaded.

Final Grade: 70.0%

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

For the past six weeks, I have been on the brink of a D.  I literally had a 64.5 last night before my benchmark grade was factored in.

I have never had a D in my life, and I NEVER want to.  Ever.

Thank you Mr. Latimer for grading my benchmark so well.


Graduation

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I have been thinking a lot lately about graduating.  For some reason, I have been coming across many photos of SLA's first graduation and it is making me so excited and nervous at the same time!  I keep wondering what it's going to feel like standing at TFI with parents clapping and gazing upon us in joy.  I wonder how many of us are going to cry, and whether any of us will keep in touch long after high school has ended.  After four years, we have all changed so much in our own, unique ways.  Each and everyone of us have grown up and discovered ourselves.  Whether we dealt with a terrible break-up or failed a few classes, we have determined our strengths and weaknesses through experience.  And I think that's what high school is all about. 

A part of me is scared to start a new chapter of my life.  It feels like this graduation, which is happening in a little over two months, marks the defining line between childhood and adulthood.  And I'm not so sure if I am ready for it.  But I guess I kind of have to be, right?

Last Benchmark Reflective Post

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
During the two week gap before the main event occurs, Claire simply acts as though Natalie's harsh words and rumors are not affecting her on the outside.  In school, Claire tries to ignore the people pestering her and bottles all of her emotions up inside. After all, there is no one Claire can turn to anyway because everyone is so caught up in the lies that Natalie is spewing about her.  Claire feels even more alienated then she did before.  In her most recent post on GupShup, Calire says, "I am stuck in a whirlpool of pain. And I swear, it's all because of you. But you'll get yours in the end, I promise."  Claire feels helpless when it comes to the suffering that she is experiencing from the actions of Natalie.  However, she knows that within about a week, Natalie will get what's coming to her. 

Benchmark Reflection #3

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Claire loves being able to hide who she really is behind a website identity.  Using this site, she is able to say anything that she wants about Natalie without having to deal with any negative consequences.  Also, on this site, she is friends with people from India who speak only very broken English aside from their native tongue.  Therefore, she has a way to let out her feelings to an audience, even though this audience really has no idea what she is talking about.  Today, she posted the following:

"There is a feeling of a hidden reality that comes with this site. i love it."

It is clear that Claire's online identity is benefiting her emotionally by letting her express her feelings that would otherwise be ignored in her physical reality.

Check it out for yourself.


Benchmark Update

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I have this gap in my story where Claire has to wait two weeks before actually committing her "act of revenge" on Natalie.  Right now, Claire's posts are in that stage.  A few days ago, she wrote "You are in a world of trouble. I finally found my method of your defeat."  This post hints that Claire has decided what she will do to get back at Natalie, and that this action is going to be very negative. Yesterday, Claire wrote, "I am not having any seconds thoughts about this. I think I know myself well enough to trust my intentions and let things happen. You'll see."  It is clear that Claire has made up her mind.  In two weeks, on April 18th, the actual action will take place.  We will have to wait to see how Claire reacts.

In The Mourning.

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
You escape like a runaway train,
off the tracks and down again.
My hearts beating like a steam boat tugging all your burdens,
on my shoulders...

In the mourning I'll rise.
In the mourning I’ll let you die.
In the mourning...
All my worry...

Now there’s nothing but time that’s wasted,
and words that have no backbone.
Oh, the whole world seems to be waiting.
Can you hear the echoes fading?

In the mourning I'll rise.
In the mourning I'll let you die
In the mourning...

All my sorrys...


DEAD

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
It's been a long time since I've had a cold.  And I'm talking about a real cold; not the ones with a mild sore throat and a runny nose, but the kind of cold where you can't even go to sleep at night because your nose is so stuffed up that you can't breathe.

For the past few days, I have been in utter anguish because of this cold.  I slept like shit last night and the night before because I can not get comfortable at all.  I feel like I need to shove an entire box of tissues up my nose to keep it from pouring snot. YUCKKKKKK!

And I hate how the weather is so beautiful but I can't even enjoy it because my throat keeps swelling up.  I can't even talk about how nice it is outside because my voice is GONE. 

And when I don't have to suffer through long hours of work, all I can do is go to my boyfriend's house after school and lay in his bed and pretend like I'm not dying from asphyxiation and lack of sleep.

UGHHHHH.



SICK & MOVIES

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Today I am feeling really crappy.  Last night at work, I had this freak-out allergic reaction to something that I was cleaning off of one of the conveyor belts at the register.  Both of my eyes started to swell up and water.  It felt like they were on fire.  I ran upstairs to rinse them out and then bought some Benadryl to calm the swelling.  After a while, my eyes started to feel better but then the side effect of drowsiness kicked in.  I was standing at the register bagging people's groceries when all of a sudden, a wave of sleep just overcame me.  I could barely stand up.  I was soooo exhausted.  

When I got home, I fell right asleep.  Around 6am, I awoke with a terrible migraine and a bad sore throat.  I was also congested and coughing up a storm. 

Around 10am, I ran downstairs to look for cold medicine.  To my dismay, we were out of it.  Now I am debating whether to get dressed and  travel all the way down to South Philly to see my boyfriend and go to the movies.  Even though I am as sick as a dog, I am probably going to go anyway because I really miss Eric and I want to see that new movie "Insidious" pretty badly.

Ughhhh.

Post-Interview

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
So....

I ACED THAT CITY YEAR INTERVIEW YESTERDAY!

I was barely nervous, and I had the best interviewer ever!  She was so easy to talk to!  I felt like I was just having a regular, intelligent conversation with a friend at school.  I answered every question perfectly, and she really seemed to like me.  We laughed a lot, and I feel like participating in City Year will be the perfect job for me, at least while I get my stuff together and prepare for college.  Like I told my interviewer, I love the idea of taking a year off from school.  But I do not want to just sit at home and do nothing.  City Year will allow me to take a year off but still do something with my life at the same time. 

I will know whether I am accepted into the program by May 2, 2011.  Wish me luck!

SECOND INTERVIEW TODAY!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
"Dear Rachel:

I am very pleased to inform you of your recommendation to continue the interview process for the 2011-2012 City Year Greater Philadelphia corps year.  You have been selected to complete the second interview.

As tutors, mentors and role models, these diverse young leaders help children stay in school and on track, and transform schools and communities across the United States, as well as through international affiliates in Johannesburg, South Africa and London, England. Just as important, during your year of service corps members develop civic leadership skills they can use throughout a lifetime of community service.​"

Yayyy! I scheduled my second interview with City Year for today at 4pm!  I am so excited!  I haven't actually wanted anything this bad in a while.  A part of me is nervous but I am so overwhelmed with happiness that it doesn't even matter! :D

Reflective Post (3/29)

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
So far, my character, Claire, has expressed her anger and sadness towards the Natalie.  She is constantly posting notes about how Natalie is ruining her life.  In one post, she writes, “Nobody likes you but everybody wants to be like you. How contradictory! I know I’m so undeserving of what you put me through. I hate you.”  Basically, Claire wants Natalie to know that she is not as popular as she thinks she is and that people only imitate her because she is considered the one with most "authority" in student status.  Later on in the week, Claire began to post notes about people talking about her because of Natalie.  She writes, “I don't understand why you think it's acceptable for you to talk about me with everyone. We used to be friends. Now you're so evil. Why?”  Claire hints to the readers of her blog that she and Natalie used to be best friends.  Now, Natalie is doing nothing but making Claire’s life miserable by spreading rumors about her and being purely evil.

  

Brink of Destruction

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
It's not hard to see that we are on the brink of destruction.
But when something comes of nothing,
What do you expect me to say?

Too much weight on love that could change with a letter,
A note, a kiss "goodbye".

You know how much you really mean to me,
But ask me ten minutes later,
I'll feel differently.

I'll find you chasing after me,
Years gone by.
But if it is meant to be,
I'll be there with open arms.
If not,
Then we still have what once was.

Get It Right

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
These next few lines kind of explain my life right now:

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow.

But how many it times will it take?
How many times will it take for me?
To get it right​...


defy gravity

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
watched myself float away,
fell apart while you smiled and waved.

dreams mean nothing if they never come true.
maybe that's why i never felt close to you.

stars wouldn't shine if no one was looking.
i couldn't breathe without something to keep me on the edge.

and i hope you get this in time.
enough to say you're coming back to save me again.
​

GupShup

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I am having some slight difficulty with this last portion of the English benchmark.  I tried to set up a new twitter account but I could not get the "create an account" page to load.  So then I went online and researched some twitter-like sites that I could possibly use in school.  I ended up finding this site called "GupShup" which is basically the same thing as Twitter, but it is based in India.  My only issue is going to be finding people to follow me on the website.

So if you could, please follow me on GupShup and join the group "forgetmeforget".

I am an anonymous user, by the way.

Click Here!


Metamorphic

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
My life is a song stuck on repeat,
It is a summer day gone cold,
It is a painting of a waterfall,
Damaged by a storm.

It is a beautiful disaster,
A train wreck,
But a masterpiece.

It is a fire hidden by trees,
A broken mirror,
A mirage of colors,
A rain of glitter.

Metamorphic.

Aerie <3

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Today I went to Cherry Hill mall with Eric.  I ended up going to Aerie, which is my absolute most favorite store, ever.  I told myself that I would only spend like, $20.  But that idea completely changed once I walked in to that store.  I rushed to the nearest ATM to take out $40.  So I basically spent my entire paycheck on some wonderful new clothes.  Although I am now broke until next Friday, at least I got some new shirts and undies! :D


aerie_memorial
aerie_memorial

Fall Into Place

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on

I watched myself walk through the past,

I looked down every road and path.

And I lost some hope along the way.

But everything fell into place.


I dreamt I was running far ahead,

Escaping an unfamiliar space,

Giving myself some time to breathe,

And everything fell into place.


I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

So very far from the ordinary,

Nothing less than extraordinary,

I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

 

I built up a wall around my soul,

Kept out all of the demons I don’t know.

Confided in only just a face.

But everything fell into place.

 

I gave up all my pain and fear,

Followed the signs that lead me here.

And when I woke up once again,

Everything fell into place.

 

I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

So very far from the ordinary,

Nothing less than extraordinary,

I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

 

I have all I could ever want now.

I have all I could ever imagine now.

Four years fade so fast,

But in the end,

It’s all worth it.

 

I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

So very far from the ordinary,

Nothing less than extraordinary,

I am not who you think I am,

I am more than that, more than that.

 

THE ROAST

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Today, my boyfriend and I are attempting to put on a comedy show similar to the stand-up specials of "The Roast of (insert name here)".  He has written a script and we are even inviting guests over to watch the presentation.

Guess who we're roasting"?  Yeah, you guessed it...his dad.

"JOIN US TODAY FOR THE ROAST OF KARL BETTERIDGE".


College Dilemma

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Today I spoke to Mrs. Hirschfield about my college dilemma.  She is very upset that I am not going to be able to go to any college better than CCP.  She feels like my grades are too high and that I am way too bright to have my talents wasted at some community college.  I know that I should attend a school that I can be challenged at.  I have wanted to go to a four-year college my entire high school career.  I never thought that money could hold me back this severely.

.....

Financial Aid BLOWS.

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I am currently very unsure of how my future is going to pan out.

For the longest time, I planned on attending Philadelphia University for four years and study biology.  In the meanwhile, I was hoping to get an apartment with my boyfriend and further my career at ACME to maintain a steady income.

That was until I received my final financial aid packet in the mail yesterday.

I received absolutely no free money other than the $12,000 a year scholarship that I already knew about.  Sure, $12,000 a year is great.  But I still have to pay another $16,800 a year.  How the hell am I going to do that?

They told me that I could break that money up into three different loans.  However, they want my parents to pay a "Parent Plus" loan of about $13,000 a year.  That's about $52,000 total.  And then they want me to pay the additional $5,500 a year. 

It is true that my parents make a combined $160,000 a year, approximately.  But the problem is that financial aid apparently does not take into account the fact that I have three other siblings, including one that will be attending college in two years, also.  In addition to that, my parents already have enough debt to deal with anyway.  The bottom line is that they can not and will not pay that much money.  And I have no idea how I can get $5500.

And I am sure as hell not taking out a million loans and ending up with $110,000 worth of debt once I graduate college.

So I am basically screwed.  All of my dreams of attending a four-year college are gone.  Now, I am most likely going to have to attend Community College for two years on a part-time level so that I can work full-time to pay for the classes.  My life sucks right about now.

The only good thing is that my relationship with Eric is still growing stronger each day, and that that apartment idea is still on my mind.  Hopefully things will get better throughout the year, especially once I turn eighteen in August.

There's Us

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
There's me,
Looking down at my shoes.
The one smiling like the sun
That's you,
What were you thinking?
What was the song inside your head?

If I was stupid,
Maybe careless,
So were you...

Not everything is supposed to come true.
Some words are best unsaid,
Some love is not really love at all.
I'll keep everything I shared with you.
And that's enough,
There's us...


New

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I have wanted to be to many places,
To leave and forget myself in time,

Surrounded by unfamiliar faces,
But feel as though I am blind.

To be somewhere that the world embraces,
A height that I could never climb,

And all the memories this city erases,
But leaves me with eternal sublime.





Free First Periods! :D

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I really enjoy this whole "waking up late because I have a free first period" deal.  It is absolutely amazing not having to wake up at 6:30am everyday.  Even though I still have to wake up that early on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, it is still a big relief not having to get up so early on Mondays and Tuesdays. 

First of all, Mondays always suck.  Going from a nice weekend of sleeping late into a long, hard school week is always a downer.  And many of you already know how much I hate Tuesdays because they are so long and I have to work at night.  However, I must say that having a free first period has helped me coped with my lack of sleep!

Spring Breeze

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I kind of like the weather right now even though it is raining.  It is the perfect kind of weather for a lazy Sunday morning/afternoon.  I was supposed to go meet up with Eric in center city today for our one year anniversary but the bus schedule is all messed up.  They only come once an hour and since I have work later, it is kind of risky to go all the way to center city and have to make sure I get to work on time.  Anyway, the weather is really beautiful.  It's not too hot but not too cold at the same time.  I am sitting here in my room and the window is open.  The cool breeze is amazing.  Now I kind of want to go back to sleep!

LOVE!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I have been in love with the man of my dreams for the past year.  At exactly 12am tonight, it will be our official 1 year anniversary!  Tonight we went out to Olive Garden to celebrate.  The food was amazing and I was so happy to spend some special time with Eric.  It's not too often that we go out to a semi-fancy restaurant.  I hope I get to see him early tomorrow before I have to go to work at the ACME. <3

Speaking of Acme, I am getting a raise soon!  I am going from bagger to checker/cashier!  I have to attend checking school in order to qualify for the position!  Wish me luck!

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28582_403075912995_651802995_4058061_6964849_n

Tiger!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
When I was in 8th grade, I lost my most precious pet.  His name was White Cloud and he was a white/yellow/blue/green parakeet.  This bird was my absolute life.  I know it may seem odd that such a small animal could mean so much to a person.  Sometimes I feel like people will never understand how much I value animals, especially parakeets.

White Cloud was given to me by my grandma for my 8th birthday.  When he was six years old, he was suddenly diagnosed with cancer.  The veterinarians said that he had a large tumor in his abdomen that was pressing against some major nerve endings.  Veterinarians at the Penn Animal Hospital were unable to save him after putting him under anesthesia.  He was taken off of life support right before my eyes.  Right before he passed, he waved his wing once with a solemn "goodbye" and took his final breath.

That day, I remember going home with my mom and placing his empty cage back up on the table.  We thought that having the cage there would help ease some of the pain.  However, it only made things worse.

Unable to bear the feeling of losing my beloved bird, we decided to go out and buy a new parakeet that day.  This is when I found little Tiger.

Tiger looked exactly like White Cloud when we found him at the pet store.  He was all white and very shy.  We took him home, cleaned out the cage, and welcomed him into our household.

Over the next few months, my pain began to diminish as Tiger grew closer and closer to my heart.  He began to do many of the same things that White Cloud did, like jump on the side of the cage for kisses and bark at unfamiliar objects.  He also loved staring at himself in the mirror and being picky over what seeds to eat.  He even began to change into the same colors as White Cloud as he molted throughout the seasons.

Since then, Tiger has become the spitting image of White Cloud.  I honestly feel like he is White Cloud in a second life.  I could not ask for a better pet parakeet to cherish as much as I did White Cloud. 





Photo 3
Photo 3

Blind

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Blind 

When I get to hold your hand,

I can barely withstand,

The colors that shape your mood,

I guess I’m blinded by your light, I guess I’m blinded by your light.


When my heart beats ten times faster,

I realize that I can’t help disaster,

The motions that cradle your desire,

I guess I’m blinded by your light, I guess I’m blinded by your light.

 

You, you take me there,

You take me anywhere that I want to be.

You, just don’t compare,

You’re all that I breathe for,

I love you endlessly.


Give me all that you possess,

I’m starving for a sense of accomplishment,

The things that make you, you,

I guess I’m blinded by your light, I guess I’m blinded by your light.


You, you take me there,

You take me anywhere that I want to be.

You, just don’t compare,

You’re all that I breathe for,

I love you endlessly.


 

Enlighten Me

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I often find myself wondering how my current situation would be had I not made the decisions that I have made in the past.  For example, what if I chose to go to a different high school instead of SLA? How would my past educational experiences differ in comparison?  Would I have learned all of the same things that I know now?

I also wonder how badly slacking off in eleventh grade would have affected me.  I know a few people that did terrible in eleventh grade that are now having a tough time getting into good colleges.  I also think back to how I have handled certain issues in the past and whether or not they were dealt with satisfactorily. 

I am a person who believes in good/bad karma and destiny.  I also think that all things happen for a reason.  I feel as though it was fate for me to attend SLA.  Had I not, I do not think that I would have experienced so much with personal relationships as well as deeper thinking.  SLA has definitely enlightened me on a broad spectrum.

Today

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Today I am going out to breakfast for my dad's birthday, even though his birthday was actually last Tuesday.  I am sitting here waiting for my mom to get out of the bathroom so I can get a shower. She is taking sooo long.

Later on, I am going to have band practice with Fawn and Freda.  It's be too long!  Then, I have work from 5pm-9pm.  I hope it's not stressful.

School tomorrow is going to suck.  Once again, I am going to be exhausted!

Sun Drop

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Today I went to work at Acme from 12pm-7pm.  It's been a long time since I have worked on a Saturday.  I used to work Saturday nights but they switched my schedule around so I have not been working them in a while.  Anyway, when I got to work today, I was told that Canada Dry was doing a promotion for their new soda, "Sun Drop", and that I would be in charge of giving away hundreds of free 2-liter bottles to customers.  I also received a free t-shirt to wear while giving out the soda.

Four hours went by and half of the supply was gone.  By the end of the night, I had reached the quota and gave away all of the sodas.  My boss was pleased.  Funny thing is, I still have not tried the soda.


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img_105120774842.png_large_bottle

Alarm Clock!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
My alarm clock really annoys me sometimes.  Usually, when it gets accidentally unplugged, it refuses to go off the next morning despite the fact that it is set.  When it gets unplugged, I anticipate it not going off so I make sure that I set my cell phone, also.  However, this morning it wanted to be completely rude and not go off even though it was never unplugged.

Thankfully, I woke myself up only eight minutes late.  I quickly jumped out of bed and stared at my alarm clock.  It was definitely set for 6:30 am.  It just decided it wanted to do it's own thing and be IDIOTIC.

Damn alarm clock.

So Contagious

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
There once was this band that I absolutely LOVED.  They were known as "Acceptance".  A few years ago, the band decided to split up and go their separate ways.  Most of the previous members went off to join other bands that were not nearly as good as "Acceptance".  I was really shocked and upset to hear the news of the band's break-up.  However, their music still lives on.  My favorite song is still "So Contagious" from their album, "Phantoms".

Click here to listen!


Acceptance+_band
Acceptance+_band

An Unwanted Guest

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Many of you may know that I have two pet mice in my room.  Their names are Peanut and Oreo.  About two months ago, Peanut and Oreo were living together in one cage.  Since they are both males, they often fought and argued a lot over little things like territory and food.  Their constant squeaking and rolling around was no surprise to me.  One night, I noticed that they were jumping around and squeaking a bit more than usual.  I got up and walked over to their cage and noticed a small, brown shadow.  Since Peanut is gray/white and Oreo is black/white, the brown was an unfamiliar color.  I quickly ran downstairs to my mom in a panic.  "Mom, I think, I'm seeing things," I said to her.  She thought I was losing my mind and that my medicine was making me have weird side effects.  However, she came upstairs with me anyway.  After looking into the cage, she saw what I thought I had saw: another mouse in the cage.

Apparently, an outdoor mouse had been attracted to the scent of my mice and found it's way into my house and into my room.  He then squeezed his tiny body into their cage and was confronted by two angry enemies.  The mouse was not even half the size of Peanut and was quickly attacked by both of my mice.  Oreo and Peanut suffered minor bite wounds to the tails, but the outdoor mouse was nearly killed.  I managed to manipulate the outdoor mouse and get him to crawl up into the removal compartment of the cage so that I could safely release him back into the wild.  I then cleaned the cage thoroughly.

That night was so shocking but funny at the same time.  My mom said that I looked like I had just seen a ghost when I came downstairs to tell her what I saw.  Since then, Peanut and Oreo have not had any unwanted visitors, thankfully.


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31382_408514327995_651802995_4204748_7736171_n

Congratulations!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I am soooo excited because I just got accepted into the Honors Program at Philadelphia University!  Philadelphia University has been my top college choice for a while now, and I am pretty sure that I will be attending that school in the fall.  A few months ago, I heard the great news of my acceptance into the Biology program.  Now, not only will I be studying biology; I will also be allowed to take at least seven honors courses, which are basically just more challenging versions of the courses that I will already be required to take.  I am a little nervous and unsure of how intense these classes will be, but I know that the high quality education that I have received over the last few years at SLA has prepared me well.  I can not wait to start my life as a biology major!


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Predator Attack

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on

And there they were…

 

Those beautiful, delicious-looking roses, staring at me with an evil eye…

 

I wanted to pounce on my prey immediately, but I had to be stealthy or else they might run away.

 

I lurked behind the desks and under the chairs.  I kept a close watch on such a valuable item.  No one was to steal my precious flowers.

 

As I slowly inched closer to the prize, my heart began to race faster and faster.  I felt like it was going to explode.  Blood pumped through my veins with intense excitement and anticipation. 

 

With one quick leap, I jumped onto the roses and snatched them out of their vase.  Water spilled everywhere as the vase went crashing to the ground from the impact.  People stared at me but I took no heed.  I jumped away and hid in the freight elevator room to enjoy my snack.

 

One by one, I picked off the delicate, red petals and placed them on my tongue, slowly savoring the taste of such a high quality bouquet.  I even ate the stem, although it pricked my mouth a little bit.

 

Then, I heard a loud knock on the door.  Someone had found my hiding spot and wanted to steal the remaining bits of my loot.  I grabbed whatever bits of the roses I could and swiftly flew out the side door into the drama room.  


Little did I know, I had left remnants of my plunder on the floor behind me that showed a distinct trail of my travels. 

 

I would be in a world of trouble if they caught me and seized my glorious roses.

Summer Vacation

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Every other summer, my mom's friend invites us to Delaware to spend a few says in her beach house.  The house is located right on the banks of Rehoboth Beach.  It is a beautiful, three bedroom condo with a peaceful view of the beach and the community golf course.  There are also many nice places to go on the beach, like to the boardwalk and to a million fancy restaurants.  There is also a community swim center that contains a wave pool and two regular pools.  There are also two hot tubs.  I really enjoy going to the beach and checking out the water and looking for sea shells.  My sisters and brother like to look for crabs and fish.

We spend the nights playing games like cards and dominoes while eating candy.  We also sit on the balcony and look at the stars in the warm summer breeze.  We finally go to sleep in our very comfy beds next to open windows.  The sounds of baby frogs fill our ears as we anticipate playing in the sun in the morning.

Looking Up

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
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Looking Up

Things are looking up, oh finally.
I thought I'd never see the day when you'd smile at me.
We always pull through
when we try,
I'm always wrong but
you're never right.
you're never right.

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this.
It's not a dream anymore...
It's not a dream anymore...
It’s worth fighting for.

Could have given up so easily.
I was a few cheap shots away from the end of me.
Taken for granted,
most everything,
that I would have died for,
Just yesterday,
Just yesterday.

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this.
It's not a dream anymore...
It's not a dream anymore...
It’s worth fighting for.

God knows the world doesn’t need another band,
But what a waste it would’ve been.
I can't believe we almost hung it up.
We're just getting started.


Financial Aid (Easy!)

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Last night I filled out the FAFSA for college.  To be honest, it was not as hard as everyone makes it out to be.  All I had to do was fill in information that I pretty much knew already.  Since my parents already had their taxes completed, it was just a matter of looking at their tax forms and filling in the boxes online.  I was finished in a matter of minutes. 

I also filled out the Honors Course application for Philadelphia University.  Since I am pretty sure that I am attending that college, I wanted to apply for the Honors Program in order to get have a bit more challenge.  Over all, I am pretty excited for the start of the fall semester.  I am also very happy that I got all of the neccessary paperwork completed in time.

Valentine's Day

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I have always loved celebrating Valentine's Day, regardless of my relationship status.  The candy, cards, small gifts, and over all joyous feeling has always had a positive impact on me.  The fact that I have a close person to share the holiday with this year makes things even better.

Tonight, Eric and I are going to the movies.  We have absolutely no idea what movie to see, but we have been planning on doing something for the holiday.  I kind of want to see "The Rite" directed by Mikael Håfström.  It's an Anthony Hopkins movie, so it will definitely be creepy enough for me.  I just saw two other Anthony Hopkins' movies, "The Silence of the Lambs" and "Hannibal".  Eric and I both enjoyed them very much so I hope that "The Rite" will be equally as good.

Today should be amazing!

Venting!

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Sometimes, I hate the way you talk and talk and talk about nothing.
You have way too many opinions and to be honest, I don't really care.
At all.
Either you're really, really vain or you just love to hear the sound of your own voice.
And when you ask me for my take on things, you get angry if it's not what you want to hear.
Can you please just shut up?
Not to mention, you constantly put down all of my favorite things.
Ok, I get that you don't like the music or television shows that I like.
I DON'T CARE!

I never asked you for your opinion.

As a great mind once said...

"You don't deserve a point of view if the only thing you see is you."

Wedding (Story for Saturday, February 12th)

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Today, I attended the wedding between my boyfriend's brother, Michael, and his longtime girlfriend, Janet.  Although I have only known them for merely a year, they have become very close family. After about ten long years of a serious relationship, Michael and Janet finally decided to tie the knot in a very small and semi-traditional way.  The ceremony was very short and took place at a tiny alter in West Philadelphia. Although the actual service was only about ten minutes long, it was very emotional time for the few of us that attended.  My boyfriend, Eric, was the best man.  As he was standing on stage next to the his brother (the groom), I couldn't help but tear up listening to the exchanging of the vows while staring into Eric's eyes.  It was at that point that I realized that not too far from now, Eric and I would be the ones standing before an audience being bonded together in "holy matrimony".  <3

A Sentence/Story

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I was once lost in the darkest, most dangerous forest in the entire world, made up of millions of trees, bushes, flowers, insects, and various animals of all shapes, sizes, and colors; I was unable to receive cell phone service to call for help; therefore, I could not escape such a vast and terrifying area...screeches from lingering animals filled my ears as I watched the tree branches sway with the movement of ferocious, blood-thirsty beasts just waiting to capture me and take me to their lairs; my eyes were fixed on the largest tree in the area, one with a giant hole in the trunk, which I assumed to be home to some sort of horrific creature and it's family...I heard noises coming from within the tree that made me shiver with terror, so I quickly ran behind some bushes to hide from whatever was lurking in the black shadows; my mind racing around the idea of being eaten alive...I wondered whether anyone was searching for me and whether or not I would be saved...I was completely unsure if anyone even realized I was missing...I began to think about what weapons I would use to defend myself against any evil apes or tigers that approached me from the jet-black corners of the woods...All I could find were sticks and sharp rocks that seemed like they would serve no purpose when trying to fight off the teeth and claws of a monster.

Crazy Obsessed Sample Lyrics

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Just a sample of some lyrics I wrote...

So I guess I’m just another stranger to you,
Come on, come on,
Just admit it.
You’ve got this sinister smile, I know.
Come on, come on.
Just forget it, just forget it.

Never again, let’s never, do this again.
Never again, let’s never, do this again.

 (I must confess that I, I feel suppressed, when it comes to this, when it comes to us. I must admit that I just can’t commit, to this. I am, I am, I am, I am crazy obsessed)

So I keep on telling myself that it’s just a mind game,
And we’re all the same,
But somehow, it doesn’t work out that way.
No, it’s much more than we’ve ever imagined,
So come on, come on.
So come on, come on.
What are you waiting for?

(I must confess that I, I feel suppressed, when it comes to this, when it comes to us. I must admit that I just can’t commit, to this. I am, I am, I am, I am crazy obsessed)

SEPTA Bus Conversation

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Driver: Did you hear about that new restaurant on Ridge Avenue?
Lady: Naw, which one?
Driver: It's called Soul 2 Sole, the same guy that used to own the one on 4th and South Street.
Lady: Oh really? It was always packed in that place! I remember driving by there!
Me: Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I applied for a job there. The people are pretty nice.
Driver: Yeah, the manager Brian is great.
Lady: Is the food as good as the place on 4th and South?
Me: I think so. (pulls cord for next stop)
Driver: So you said their food is pretty good, right?
Me: Yeah, just expensive. But they have a really nice crew down there...all polite people... and the restaurant is very family-oriented.
Driver: Oh okay, well have a goodnight.
Me: You too.


New Perspectives (iTunes Story)

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Attention!
You might have noticed the fever swept away who I am.
I think I'm paranoid.
Walking with a ghost on my own.
Listen,
Time is running out!
Everything is alright.
All that I've got come undone.
White lines in between faces in disguise.
The end...
It's a disaster.
Sold my soul; no sign of life.
New perspective, good intentions, no sudden revelations.
Another day, you're not alone.
Turn it off!
We are broken.
Voices breathe in the mourning.

Screen shot 2011-02-08 at 1.24.13 PM
Screen shot 2011-02-08 at 1.24.13 PM

Tired of Tuesdays

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
I absolutely hate Tuesdays. I can never get enough sleep on a Monday night so I am always exhausted the next day.

I woke up this morning to the screech of my alarm clock and my mom yelling at me to wake up.  I wanted to stay home so bad but I knew that she would not allow it.

I began my daily trek to school by falling asleep on the bus ride there.  When I finally arrived at SLA, I could barely keep my eyes open throughout first period.  It is dreadful knowing that after lunch, I still have three straight periods before dismissal.  On top of that, I have work from 5pm-9pm.  I never get home before 9:30.

The only good thing about Tuesday is the fact that Wednesday is following.  Wednesdays are always a half-day for me.  I know as soon as I get home from such a long Tuesday, I have time to relax and recharge for a low-key Wednesday.


Story #1: Life in a Band

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Storytelling - Chase on
Ever since I was in first grade, I have been in love with musical performance. From the moment I stepped foot on stage in front of an audience, the rush of adrenaline has been an addiction.

In sixth grade, I met Fawn, my current best friend.  Like me, she shared the same passion for creating music and wanted desperately to find an outlet for such creativity.  I had since graduated from singing Christmas carols in the school choir and wanted to form something different; preferably a punk rock band.

Fawn and I agreed to begin working together to write songs and lyrics.  I decided to take up bass guitar while she began playing electric. We used a keyboard as a "drum machine".  After recording tons of terrible demos and playing acoustic shows at outdated coffee houses, we decided to find a real drummer.

We set out on a wild goose hunt for the perfect drummer. We made signs and hung them all over the neighborhood in hopes of a reply.  Over a month of waiting, there was still no answer.

While spending time with my other friend Ariel, also known as "Bean", I accidently discovered that she was pretty good at drumming.  We were hanging out in her house listening to music when all of a sudden, she started tapping to the beat of the song at perfect rhythm.  I quickly raced into her kitchen and grabbed a few pots and pans and two wooden spoons.  From there on, we had a brand new drummer.

After countless hours of practice, "The Expensives" were born.  This all girl, pop-punk band from Philadelphia began making headlines all over the city and playing several shows at venues including The Trocadero and Hangar 84 in Vineland, New Jersey. 

My love of music has lead me down a road of constant hustle and bustle.  However, I would not trade it for the world.  Despite a few line up changes, The Expensives are still going strong. Whether I am scrambling to sell tickets for a show, or reasoning with the police over loud noise complaints from the neighbors, my band means everything to me, and I plan on doing this for the rest of my life.

What is the difference between a myth and a theory?

Posted by Rachel Patterson in Science and Society - Best on

 What is the difference between myth and theory?


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            This is the question that has been bothering me for the past month.  If the theory of evolution is so troublesome to the school district, why aren’t greek myths?  Is it not true that both Greek myths and the theory of evolution deal with the theme of how life was created? Could they both not potentially influence student views on creation? What makes them so different?

 

            After much research, I have discovered that a myth can be apart of a theory. Myths are stories that are created as an explanation for why certain things exist.  These tales date back to the early history of people.  A theory can be used to explain why myths exist all over the world.  There is actually a theory known as “The Jesus Myth Theory” that poses the idea that Jesus of Nazareth was not a historical person, but a fictional character or mythological archetype created by early Christians.  The idea that Jesus was not real but was a fictitious figure is apart of a larger theory that explains this myth. 

 

            According to Religion Compass, “Myths are prose narratives which, in the society in which they are told, are considered to be truthful accounts of what happened in the remote past.”  Theories serve to explain why these myths are created.  However, myth theories that are taught in school, such as the Greek myth of Zeus, are taught in such a way that makes it obvious that the stories are fictional.


Resources:

Myth & Theory

Jesus Myth Theory

What is Myth?


Questions to Consider:

•What about a theory makes it controversial?

•What other factors separate the theory of myth and the theory of evolution?


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