Welcome to my capstone! My mission when completing my capstone this year was to make a voice for someone who may not have had one already. The topic being the pressures that may be felt by high school students during their careers. The information being targeted towards parents and teachers. This topic was perfect to surround my project around due to the stresses we all have faced as a student body and senior class during 2020-2021. This project is meant to shed light on the unspoken but surely felt pressures that high school students may crack from. My final project was a seminar/ Q&A for students and teachers.

Seminar Slideshow: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1SkmhkyYiG3dmFv9CDdVWnvrbpT4isU4-5mjGlP98YU8/edit?usp=sharing

Annotated Bibliography: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vH3c7P_OnNxT1He-vtIdkMthLMxWh_hDP9tY7rMx4BU/edit?usp=sharing

Introduction-

You will be noticing the conflicts that immigrants face, that many of us are ignorant to. They are judged by American society and with this essay I hope that the readers get insight on examples of what personal issues immigrants go through. Examples of how from departure to arrival to settling to living they are faced with personal conflicts.

Advanced Essay:

Imagine you having to relocate and forget everything that was once so familiar to you. Knowing you may never see your parents again, maybe leaving a child behind, even knowing that you may not make it to your destination. And if you make it, your life will never be the same. Shedding a new skin, taking a new form; making adaption your number one goal in life. For many people this is the case, the horrible reality for many choosing to migrate.

When immigrating one of the many sacrifices having to be made is separation. Separation from family, friends, as well as the life individuals used to live. In the book Exit West by author, Mohsin Hamid, the topic of new beginnings and leaving the former behind is emphasized. The main characters Saeed and Nadia embark on a journey away from their home country which has been engulfed in war and violence. In the book Saeed and Nadia had to say goodbye to Saeed’s father before heading on their trip. “He had come to the point in a parent’s life when if a flood arrives, one knows one must let go of one’s child…because holding on can no longer offer the child protection, it can only pull the child down…” (p.96) This quote from the book shows one of the struggles that many parents encounter during life… letting go. In Saeed’s father’s case him holding on to his son could put his life in true danger. After his wife dying Saeed was the last thing to remind him of what true love is. Even though this book is fiction it depicts many real world conflicts that are faced by the families of those who immigrate. Letting go of a child is something that all parents fear. To have your child leave knowing that once they get to their destination, they may not be able to come back home ever again.

For the children of parents who immigrated successfully, one of the main conflicts that arise in their lives will be what aspect of life do they allow to identify them. For the main character of the namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, Gogol, this is the internal conflict that he faces throughout his life. Gogol struggled with his name, with his Bengali heritage and standards of living that contradict with the American ways that he starts to embody. He starts to date American women (that his mother disapproves of). But later on in the book he starts to become interested in a Bengali women that he grew up with, they became engaged and began to plan a wedding. “From the beginning it was safely assumed by their families, and soon enough by themselves, that as long as they liked each other their courtship would not lag and they would surely wed.”(p 225-226) Through this quote, the author is portraying the sense of community that is felt when an origin is shared. In the quote it says that “they would surely be wed”, these are the customs in which they were used to in their culture. To be lucky enough to fall in love with someone who shares the same customs as you. But, when being first generation in a new place the customs your parents once knew seem as old wise tales. Earlier in the book as Gogol was becoming interested in girls he wanted nothing to do with those of Bengali descent merely based on rebellion. Why does finding someone just like you matter when being a descendent of immigrant parents?

After touching on the struggles that may occur for the family of someone who immigrates, it is time to consider a conflict the immigrant faces. For those who create families and gain citizenship they now have to face the problem of being connected to the customs and life they once knew. Gogol’s mother, Ashima, disapproved of the American he brought home, not based on character but on the fact of nationality. She wanted him to stay as deep to their roots as possible. “She is terrified to raise a child in a country where she is related to no one, where she knows so little…”(p.6) Ashima, felt that it was bad enough that she had to start a family in America where “she knows little.” To think that her grandchildren could be Americanized even more if their mother was a white American. On her and her husband’s behalf it was a struggle keeping traditions of their heritage so strong so far from where those traditions derive from. Ashima’s fear was becoming an American in her spirit. This is an internal conflict that some immigrants face. In other cases, such as Gogol’s, some battle the feeling of obligation to carry traditions with them no matter how much they embrace the culture of their present surroundings.

We in America would never truly understand the trials that occur in the lives of immigrants. They deal with separation of family, starting a whole new life, juggling two identities, and much more. Without books, biopics, real life testimonials, and encounters with immigrants, would we really understand the circumstances in which they live among us in? Even though the sources that were used are fictional, the strife that is felt in an immigrants life is real. The emotions are real, the motives are real, the issues are very real. Some of us may never know what living life like this feels like. Forgetting life as you know it, risking your life to start a new, maybe even losing who you once were. These are things that seem out of a story book, but for those who immigrate this is everyday life.

The namesake Jhumpa Lahiri-Mariner Books, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt-2019

Exit West Mohsin Hamid - Penguin Random House - 2017

While writing this essay I wanted to bring awareness to how precious a woman is and bring attention to the fact that our soul purpose is not to serve a man. It’s to show the digression of the level of feistiness we have as we grow up in a world that tries to mold us as the archetype servant for a man. I tried to be as honest as possible with my opinions but to also get the reader to understand this isn’t a persuasive essay but one to open eyes and minds. I am proud of this essay because it stands out from many of my other pieces of writing. It’s not about heartbreak, or race wars, depression, it’s about being a woman. It was fun to not be stuck in my same writing topic and divert from the usual. Even though I am very proud of my work in this essay but for future essays I will focus on descriptive writing more, so that I can transport the reader into the scene.

When we are little princesses,we don’t worry about what we wear around our uncles, or if our stepdad will come in the house when we’re getting out of the shower. When the pod becomes a flower it gets pushed into the dark.

Everyday after preschool there was a routine. My grand-pop picked me up, brought me ice cream sandwiches, took me home, made me waffles, we watched cartoons and went to sleep. Naps with my grand-pop were the ones I’ll remember the most, they’re the reason I don’t know how to do homework until 8pm.

I was the babygirl. I woke up from my nap at the age of 12 with girl parts that now set boundaries for me. When a girl grows a woman’s body too early her childhood slips like sand between her fingers. I always wondered why my grand-mom let me and my grand-pop eat while she just washed the dishes. Why my mom felt obligated to make my stepdad breakfast before the rest of the house. Why when my grand-pop had company my grand-mom would say to stay upstairs with her until they left. Why do we go from princess to house slave? Scared to speak unless spoken to, cooking, cleaning, being fully submissive, unselfish, and unconditionally loving. I remember watching Weezy Jefferson go toe to toe with her husband. It made no sense to me why the Jefferson’s didn’t apply to real life. I guess that’s why they say TV is fabricated. TV even depicted modern day moms as sassy, independent,and witty like Rochelle from ‘Everybody Hates Chris’. She is a depiction of the way married women are supposed to be, but why aren’t wives living up to these standards? Are they too high, for the modern day wife?

By the age of 14 I had two sister in-laws. I’ve watched both of them cry, but only in private. It is written in the universal invisible rules of relationships that “if you and your significant other are having problems your outside demeanor should not say so”. Men can cheat, hit, go out, etc. If a women were to do these things they would be looked at as crazy or as hoes. We are forced to keep our pain private. I’ve watched my sister in-laws fake their smiles to the point their faces might crack. One of them,Jade, is 5 years older than me. She’s beautiful with long black hair, tan skin, and an hourglass figure. I’ve seen her breakdown and tell herself “I love him…I can’t leave him”. I don’t know why love makes a woman mindless. She tells me “You won’t understand until you fall in love”, if that’s what love is count me out. “I would never be that stupid” “I would never let a n**** play me”- Said every girl whose words bit her in the ass.

The line between stupidity and love seem to be blurred sometimes. The line between self respect and mindlessness seem to overlap. If the world was full of little girls what would men have? No wife, no servants, no one to blame for their life going wrong, no one’s heart to mangle, nor no one to make excuses for them. Little girls with hair and mouths that can’t be tamed. Princesses who get answers and never give them. What would men do with a world of headstrong girls? We go from being carried on backs to a man’s world nearly breaking them. It scares me to think that I can’t be the Wheezy to someone’s George, the Lucy to a Ricardo, but instead a Ceely to a Mister.

The rules of this game called ‘Life’ were written before paper. Men were winning before women were presented to the playing field. Hundreds of years ago a man was raised to be independent, headstrong, selfish with his time and efforts. Women were raised to look for a husband trained to be a housewife. Females did not understand the power of realizing self worth. Women did not understand how much raw potential they had because all they knew was that getting a husband would be a lifetime achievement. In society it took centuries for a woman to be looked at as an equal, as another being and not an accessory to a man.

A conversation with my grand-mom will always stick with me. While riding in the car going to school, doing my usual game of 21 questions with her, one of her answers stood out to me. I asked “why can’t relationships be equal?” “Relationships aren’t really meant to be equal.You have to be submissive to your husband because he will be in charge. Yes you have a say but sometimes what they say goes.” I tried to give her statement the benefit of the doubt. Tried to convince myself that these thoughts were just coming from her 60 year old mind. But, I realized that it wasn’t her mind, it wasn’t even really her opinion. It was the result of her training, they were the words of the world and its ways. I’m fearful that 20 years from now my daughter will have to push her feelings to the side because she fell in love. Or that I will have a son who feels entitled because he was born male.

I’ve realized I can’t let the world teach me how to be a woman. My pride will forever stick with me. The colorful mind of a young girl will forever rest on my shoulders. I’ve always viewed relationships as equal; I’ve viewed relationships more like partnerships. It might be new aged but that’s the way I see it. I’ve always been a sunflower never to be pushed in the dark.