(Also looking closer into Offred’s and the Commander’ s relationship.)

The “Handmaid” in the title is referring to Offred, the main character. This is clearly revealed as the story is told in Offred’s perspective. However it is more complicated than you think. The story is told from when Offred is living the actual scene but she also narrates it as if it were told from third person. I noticed how there were parts in the book when characters were speaking, their dialogue was not in quotation marks and other parts were. When there was dialogue without quotation marks, Margaret Atwood, the author, would write “I said.” or “He said.” The dialogue that had quotation marks Atwood would write “I say.” or “He says.” This technique used by Atwood allows the reader to picture the scene when there was dialogue without quotation marks but with quotations, Atwood wanted the reader to feel like they were in that scene. To feel what Offred felt.

When I googled the definition of “Tale” it defined it as “a story, especially one that might be invented or difficult to believe.” On page 39 Offred said, “I would like to believe this is a story I’m telling. I need to believe it. I must believe it… It isn’t a story I’m telling. It’s also a story I’m telling, in my head, as I go along.” She is letting us know this book is her tale, not everything is true. Chapter 38 basically summarizes Moira’s whole journey after she escaped the Center, it was a long long long journey. Not many would have made it out as sane as Moira did. There was a point where she wanted to end her life. On page 249 it stuck out to me that some dialogue, that had quotation marks, were questions and yet they still ended it with “I say.” “ What about the others? I say”. This observation sparked the question Why is it “I say.” even when it is a question? With the help of my peer, Leticia Desouza we were able to discuss and come up with an explanation. Even though this scene was told in present tense, it is still a tale that she is telling the readers. As Offred mentioned on page 243, Moira told her all about her journey but she could not remember everything. She said, “I’ve filled it out for her as much as I can…” Once again letting the reader know that not everything said is exactly true.

Moira’s character is the life/adventurous element of this whole book. Every time Moira is mentioned something to keep the book interesting happens. When she was at the Center she managed to escape but to escape she tricked Aunt Elizabeth into helping her unclog a toilet Moira purposely clogged. She then threatened Aunt Elizabeth, tied her up and swapped clothes with her to make her escape easier. At the end of chapter 38 Offred seemed like she did not really like the content of Moira’s journey. She said, “I’d like to tell a story about how Moira escaped for good this time. Or if I couldn’t tell that, I’d like to say she blew up Jezebel’s, with fifty Commanders inside it. I’d like her to end with something daring and spectacular, some outrage, something that would befit her.”(250) Offred sees in Moira the courage she does not have. She depends on Moira to feel safe or become free. Before the new government took over Gilead, Moira was already expecting it. Moira already had ties with the Underground Femaleroad. Unlike Moira, Offred was not prepared. Everything to her was all of the sudden that is why she depends on Moira to become free. That is also why she wanted to tell a story of how Moira blew up Jezebel’s with fifty Commanders inside. She herself would not do anything to fight or protest and become free.

In chapter 39 it is illustrated an uncomfortable scene between Offred and the Commander. The Commander took Offred to Jezebel’s, where she saw Moira and explained her whole journey after escaping the center. After that the Commander took Offred to a hotel room at Jezebel’s to sleep with her. Although he acknowledged that the Ceremony was the next day, he still goes on to say, “I thought we could jump the gun.” He starts to caress Offred’s body however the way she worded it shows that she is uncomfortable. “…the left leg. He stops at the foot, his fingers encircling the ankle.”(254) Instead of calling her body “my” she references them as “the” because in this moment she is an object to the Commander. An object for him to get his pleasure out of. Even as this was all happening she continues to defend the Commander though not to someone, she is mentally defending him. “I remind myself that he is not an unkind man; that, under other circumstances, I even like him.” Offred holds onto this idea that the Commander is a good guy because she could end up like the last handmaid, killing herself to end her suffering.

The relationships between women in Gilead are complex and have layers. We see how these women interact with each other and how they perceive each other through Offred’s perspective. The complexity of these relationships is a product of how Gilead society views women. In a world where they pick and choose the value of each woman based on their title and fertility, friendship has become a luxury and a form of rebellion. We can see different versions of this in Offred’s relationships with Serena Joy, Ofglen, and Moira.

When we take a look at Serena Joy and Offred’s relationship, it’s clear that society has set them up to dislike each other and their resentment towards each other stems from jealousy. Even though Gilead claims that they are one through the Ceremony, they are two women being forced into an arrangement that neither woman would choose to be in. For Serena, a younger and youthful woman is having sex with her husband right in front of her, and for Offred, Serena is a woman who is living the comfortable life as a Wife that she doesn’t get to live. Offred initially liked Serena Joy. “I was disappointed. I wanted then, to turn her into an older sister, a motherly figure, someone who would understand and protect me.” (pg.16) We see that Offred craves that female friendship from Serena Joy and she held onto the hope that Serena would’ve been different if they met outside their circumstances. Offred’s hate for Serena grows the more she lives in the regime of Gilead, therefore having that initial hope diminished.

Ofglen is a handmaid Offred is paired with when going to the market. At first, Offred was very critical of her and clearly did not trust her. She looked down on her in many ways and always thought of her in a negative light. Friendship in Gilead society is restricted and almost non-existent because everyone is anxious about who they can trust. They had to speak in very restricted ways that caused them both to perceive each other as a true believer. Once they both look each other in the eye, they both realize that they are non-believers. “‘I thought you were a true believer,’ Ofglen says. ‘I thought you were,’ I say. ‘You were always so stinking pious.’ ‘So were you,’ I reply. I want to laugh, shout, hug her. ‘You can join us,’ she says.” (pg.168) Once they don’t follow the rules of Gilead, we see another glimpse of connection when Offred states that she wants to hug Ofglen. Offred is invited to be a part of something bigger than herself and is offered a new friendship that is exciting and hopeful. These friendships have formed groups of unbelievers that push back against the ideologies of Gilead and break through the walls men in power have put up to isolate the handmaids.

Lastly, Moira is Offred’s oldest friend from “Before”. They are like sisters and they understand each other on a deeper level. Moira to Offred is someone she looks up to and values because unlike Offred, Moira makes bold choices and refuses to follow the rules. She managed to escape from the Training Center and where she ended up was both a mystery and something the handmaids had faith in. When Offred finally meets Moira again, it was during a night out with the Commander. “‘It’s all right,’ she says, to me and to the other women. ‘I know her.’ The others smile now, and Moira hugs me. My arms go around her, the wires popping up her breasts dig into my chest. We kiss each other, on the cheek, then on the other. Then we stand back. ‘Godawful,’ she says. She grins at me. ‘You look like the Whore of Babylon.’ ‘Isn’t that what I’m supposed to look like?’ I say. ‘You something the cat dragged in.’” (pg.242) Offred and Moira have these gleeful moments that almost feel normal and find joy in each other in the midst of this oppressive society. These moments make everything seem better, showing how female friendships are a source of strength during an oppressive time. This shows how much these women need each other in their lives to relate to, talk to, and laugh with. They find connection in a world that wants women to be as disconnected as possible. Old, new, and possible friendships represent hope in dark times and keeping these friendships alive is one of the biggest forms of rebellion.

Preface: I chose these songs in particular because they portray elements of Gilead. They are somber, nearly wordless, and somewhat mysterious save for 1 song. I believe these overarching themes dutifully portray Gilead as a society that silences its dissenters, glorifies its atrocities, and makes itself inescapable to those it holds captive. Melancholy is everywhere and hope is running thin.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6bQ4DvKU7H88wbLcJQFvco?si=RxIJ1-Q7R9C9ABN64VEIow

我昨晚夢見你了 (Translation: I dreamed of you last night)

I chose this song because it reminds me of the melancholy that seems to pierce the minds of all Gilead’s residents. The collective emotions of people from all walks of life. You can see this in specifics like with Serena Joy knitting scarves for the angels in her sitting room. Or when Offred gets into a bath and thinks of her loved ones. In the song there is this sense of melancholy created by the rain, and the other notes as well create a dark atmosphere, almost reminiscent of the image of Offred staring at the bodies on the wall. pg.31 “Now we turn our backs on the church and there is the thing we’ve in truth come to see: the Wall.”

Rain (From “Halo 3:ODST”)

This song has a very deep meaning, one that synergizes with Offred’s situation as a handmaid and as a person. The meaning of this song is hope, hope even though you are by yourself and on your own, hope even though the whole world may be against you, and hope as you search for a way out of the hell you jumped feet first into. The closest image I can think of to this meaning in the book is the pillow that says “Faith” on Offred’s window. It is a preservation of hope even through the dark shadow of Gilead’s oppression. Pg.110 “I get out of bed, go to the window, kneel on the window seat, the hard little cushion, FAITH, and look out. There is nothing to be seen.”

Opening (from “Jin Roh”)

This song is not melancholic nor does it inspire the feeling of oppression. Instead it is militaristic and very proud. It sounds of victory, and imagery of a proud fascist society. Think of “Triumph of the Will” (yes the nazi propaganda film). It synergizes well with the imagery that Gilead provides of itself. The matching uniforms, military force, the examples made of those who would go against it, even the secret police or “Eyes” as the book calls them. This imagery is present at the women’s prayvaganza. Pg.218 “This commander ascends the steps to the podium, which is draped with a red cloth embroidered with a large white-winged eye. He gazes over the room, and our soft voices die.”

Your Home

This song is very somber. It’s cold and warm at the same time. It has tones of machinery whirring in the background and that same sense of melancholy that is everywhere in Gilead. The imagery most reminiscent of this music is when Offred is describing the egg. The commentary on its simple perfection really synergizes with this song. Pg.110 “The egg is glowing now, as if it had an energy of its own. To look at the egg gives me intense pleasure.”

Corridors of Time

I find that this song sort of seems exotic. The melancholy in the main chords of this song pervades throughout the song but it is undercut by the other parts in some areas. This feels most like how I felt when Offred was describing the commander’s room. Mostly how many things that Offred sees that were “supposed to have been destroyed”. Pg.137 “Books, books, and books, right out in plain view, no locks, no boxes. No wonder we can’t come in here. It’s an oasis of the forbidden.”

Throughout The Handmaid’s Tale, many details of the society of Gilead are revealed slowly throughout the book. Chapter 37 reveals important details about the Commanders and their ‘club’.

As Offred first arrives at the hotel, it looks familiar to her. She thinks to herself “I know where I am. I’ve been here before: with Luke, in the afternoons, a long time ago. (234)” When looking back to page 172, where Offred discusses the nature of her relationship with Luke, she mentions: “So the hotels, with Luke, didn’t mean only love or even sex to me.” This is relevant because it shows how this was the same hotel where she had her affair with Luke, and is now where the Commanders have their affairs. The hotel is a symbol for these relationships, as it has continuously been a place for them.

As I continued my close reading, I noticed the way the colors of clothing in the club were slightly different from the way they are portrayed in the society. Offred observes, “There are men with them, a lot of men, but in their dark uniforms or suits, so similar to one another, they form only a kind of background. The women on the other hand are tropical… (234-235)” Throughout Gilead, the women are assigned many different colors, while the men stick to black and dark green. While this wasn’t as clear to me before, this quote made me realize how colorful they made the women. The women stick out the most, while the men get to hide in their muted colors. In Gilead, women stick out to keep them in line, but in the club they stick out like shiny objects.

Another theme that was constantly brought up throughout this chapter was the mention of shoes. Shoes are a symbol for character, societal place, power or servitude. When the Commander brings Offred to sit down he says “I thought your feet might be getting tired, in those shoes. (236)” Reading this quote reminded me of how, in the previous chapter, when Offred had to lie by the Commander’s feet, she noticed his shoes. “My forehead is against his shoes. I have never been this close to his shoes before. They feel hard, unwinking, like the shells of beetles: black, polished, inscrutable. They seem to have nothing to do with feet. (233)” The Commander’s shoes are a symbol of his character: refined, unreadable. His shoes are an image of himself and his role of power. Offred’s shoes reflect similarly. When she gets her shoes from the Commander, she describes: “There are shoes too, mauve ones with absurdly high heels. Nothing quite fits; the shoes are a little too big… (231)” Offred’s shoes represent how she doesn’t exactly fit her role in society and how out of place she feels.

One of the lines that stuck with me most was during Offred’s conversation with the Commander about the club. When Offred asks why it wasn’t forbidden, he says “Well, officially… But everyone’s human, after all. (237)” This line, as well as the whole chapter, reveal how performative the acts of Gilead truly are. While the women have an abundance of rules, the men get to do whatever they want. The Commander says ‘everyone’s human’ but he is only talking about the men and their needs.

This idea is further developed throughout the chapter under the idea of ‘Nature’, which the Commander has brought up multiple times. The first mention is during a conversation with Offred: “This way they’re [women] protected, they can fulfill their biological destinies in peace… Those years were just an anomaly, historically speaking, the Commander said. Just a fluke. All we’ve done is return things to Nature’s form. (220)” The Commander uses Nature to justify women’s role for childbirth and men’s needs for sex. At the club, in another conversation with Offred, he brings up the idea again, “‘It means you can’t cheat Nature,’ he says. ‘Nature demands variety, for men. It stands to reason, it’s part of the procreational strategy. It’s Nature’s plan.’… ‘Women know that instinctively. Why did they buy so many different clothes, in the old days? To trick men into thinking they were several different women. A new one each day.’ (237)” The Commander acknowledges that men are the problem, but blames women and nature for it. He uses this idea to justify the needs of men and the reasoning for the societal rules for women.

Dear God - XTC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p554R-Jq43A

In chapter 30 Offred says a big prayer where she’s pleading to God to make life better, to bring everything back to normal. It’s pretty understood throughout the text that Offred doesn’t have a strong relationship with God or religion even though she’s being forced into it by society. On page 195 she says, “I feel unreal, talking to you. You like this. I feel as if I’m talking to a wall… Oh God. It’s no joke. Oh God oh God. How can I keep on living?” Offred’s prayer reminded me of multiple lines in “Dear God”. The song begins by saying, “Dear God, sorry to disturb you, but - I feel that I should be heard loud and clear -We all need a big reduction in the amount of tears” and then as it continues it says “Dear God, I can’t believe in-I don’t believe in-”. Both the song and Offred are telling God that the world is in danger, and even though they don’t seem to have a huge relationship with religion they need something to believe in. The one thing that’s keeping Offred together is hope, hope that one day everything will get better, that maybe she will find Luke and her daughter, and that her life can return to the way it was supposed to be.

Dress - Taylor Swift https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNEoPctNIUE “Our secret moments in a crowded room - They got no idea about me and you”. This song is about a secret relationship and making the most of the moments they have together. This can be representative of Offred’s relationship with Nick. Nick is the only guardian Offred refers to by name, implying that the two have a relationship beyond what Offred is telling readers. Readers are aware that they have an attraction to each other though, because on page 98 the two run into each other and she says, “He puts his hand on my arm, pulls me against him, his mouth on mine, what else comes from such denial? Without a word.” The kiss was out of nowhere and shocked readers, especially since afterward Nick tells Offred the commander wants to meet her. “Dress” is a great representation of the small thrill that comes from a secret relationship, knowing that everything could go wrong but taking advantage of the moments anyway.

But Not Kiss - Faye Webster https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cIe5OSj8d4 “I want to see you in my dreams, but then forget - we’re meant to be, but not yet - you’re all that I have, but can’t get”. This is a song about longing for something you once had and how you hope it makes a return to your life, but at the same time you know it’s not possible. Offred experiences this feeling often, especially when she is reminiscing about people of her past. Luke in particular is someone she reflects on often when we get flashbacks to life pre-Gilead. On page 200 Offred says something similar to what Faye Webster talks about in the song. “I’d like to have Luke here…so I could have a fight with him… These days I script whole fights, in my head, and the reconciliations afterward too.” She imagines these things because she knows her relationship with Luke is no longer feasible and she doesn’t know where he is, but she still wishes she could be with him.

I Know The End - Phoebe Bridgers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC6mEJ5i5y8 “I Know The End” is very representative of “The Handmaid’s Tale” as a whole. This song is about losing hope and leaving your past behind. The song starts off by saying, “Close my eyes and fantasize - three clicks and I’m home”. This reminds me of when Offred is imagining her past life when she goes to sleep, on page 37 she says, “But the night is my time out. Where should I go? Somewhere good.” Then she continues to tell readers flashbacks of her previous life and these flashbacks are what give her normalcy and hope. But as the song and the book progresses we see this hope fade away. “I turned around, there was nothing there - Yeah I guess the end is here.” For example, Moira was a big sign of hope but in chapter 37 Offred finds Moria at the hotel. The two reconnect and Moira tells the story about how she had almost escaped and gotten out of Gilead. Unfortunately, Moira ended up at the hotel seemingly stuck. Then on page 250, Offred says, “I’d like to tell a story about how Moira escaped, for good this time…But as far as I know, that didn’t happen…because I never saw her again. With this, it looks like Offred’s hope is gone, because if Moria couldn’t make it out how could she?

hope ur ok - Olivia Rodrigo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLlsmB1D4Q0 “His parents cared more about the Bible - Than being good to their own child” This song is about parents not being accepting of their child because they do not want a “traditional relationship” which is very similar to Gilead and how they treat their citizens. Gilead strongly believes in “traditional marriage” and it’s a big theme throughout the book. However, traditional marriage in Gilead isn’t at all similar to how it’s viewed in the real world. Gilead uses the bible to explain the use of the handmaids as a part of a three-person marriage, so that way they can have children. At the beginning of the book, Atwood leaves a quote from Genesis 30:1-3 that reads “Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bare upon my knees, that I may also have children by her.” The government has forced its non-sterile women to do this simply because it’s in the bible. They don’t care about the well-being of the women because they care more about living in the “traditional” way, just as the parents do in “hope ur ok”.

The first thing I noticed when reading this chapter was the bathroom sign. This bathroom is very fancy and high-end. The author supports this idea of having a nice bathroom by saying (pg 241) “There’s a rest area, gently lit in pinkish tones, with several easy chairs and a sofa, in a lime-green bamboo-shoot print, with a wall clock above it in a gold filigree frame.” The letters for the sign that says the lady, are made of gold script and give the place a more luxurious style. The bathroom is also a break room for the ladies and has plenty of things in there that they can use. There are even mirrors left in this bathroom that they can still use.

The Next thing I noticed in this chapter is how Moria acted when she was with Offred. It has been a while since Offred and Moira had seen each other since Moria escaped from the school. She has not changed and seems to still have a positive attitude but seems to have lost the fighting spirit she had before. Once she made it out she was caught again and then came here where the Aunts don’t try to fix you now. She stayed running for 9 months and when she was about to finally escape they caught on and stopped her. The author shows Moria getting when, (pg 247) “Whatever it was, they picked us up just as we were coming out the back door to go down to the dock.” Moria tried her best to escape and almost managed to do it but in the end, she was caught. She now stays at the hotel Where she plans on staying and even invited Offred to stay as well.

This chapter also takes place in a ladies’ bathroom just like the scene in chapter 13 where Moira and Offred meet in the bathroom to speak to one another. In both of these scenes, they want to talk to one another without having someone overhearing them and getting in trouble. In chapter 13 they tried to speak away from the Aunts, while in chapter 38 they didn’t want Offred’s Commander to overhear them. The ladies’ bathroom seems to be the only place in this world of Gilead where they can speak to each other. While in the bathroom both scenes are very similar with how they work and how much time they get in there. There are even Aunts outside of both of them to track who goes in and how much they are in there.

Offred is given a cigarette in this chapter and uses it. The cigarette appears multiple times throughout the book and is first introduced, and it’s said that they are banned items that no one should have. All the cigarettes were taken away once the new power took over now the only way to get them was through the dark market. Cigarettes only appear with high-ranking individuals like the commander and Serena Joy. The cigarette could be seen as a metaphor for power and freedom. The only time Offred has a cigarette is when someone in power gives it to her or she is somewhere where she does not have someone who has completely taken away her freedom. The author supports the idea of Offred wanting cigarettes by saying,( pg 73) “God, do I need a cigarette, says Moria. Me too, I say.” Offred says she wants cigarettes because they give her the illusion that she is someone important and free like she was in her past.

When Offred and Moira are in the bathroom Moria asks why she is there and who she is with. Offred says she is with her commander and that he brought her there so they could go out for a little. Offred tells her she will be leaving soon and that she is temporary. The word temporary appeared when (pg 243) “I pull her head over so I can whisper in her ear. “I’m temporary,” I tell her.” The word temporary felt deeper than just staying at the hotel and could mean the commander may replace her soon. Though the commander shows a deep connection to Offred and gives her plenty of what she wants there have been other women besides Offred in his life. Like Serena Joy who was the Commander’s wife whom he does not feel a connection anymore. There was also another Handmaid before Offred who took her own life, so he is fine with replacing one Handmaid with another. Maybe in the end, if Offred escapes the commander will find someone else.

In The Handmaid’s Tale, the author Margaret Atwood uses many subtle literary comparisons between her characters and animals. There could be many different reasons for these animal references, as Offred often compares herself to things such as pigs and rodents. However, the reader could point this out as a piece to a larger puzzle. No section perfectly embodies this more than the second and third paragraphs on page 165, chapter 27.

The author begins this chapter with Offred meeting up with her fellow handmaid Ofgled as they start their routine walk into town. Atwood then writes: “Ofglen and I are more comfortable with one another now, we’re used to each other. Siamese twins. We don’t bother much with the formalities anymore when we greet each other; we smile and move off, in tandem, traveling smoothly along our daily track. Now and again we vary the route; there’s nothing against it, as long as we stay within the barriers. A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze. We’ve been to the stores already, and the church; now we’re at the Wall. Nothing on it today, they don’t leave the bodies hanging as long in summer as they do in winter, because of the flies and the smell. This was once the land of air sprays, pine and floral, and people retain the taste; especially the Commanders, who preach purity in all things” This section contains two important details. To start, the comparison between the handmaids and “rats in a maze” is an example of symbolism as mentioned above. Atwood yet again uses these animal comparisons to emphasize the lack of respect and continuous oppression that these women are facing. This is nothing new for The Handmaid’s Tale, as Offred constantly thinks thoughts of this nature, however why might the author include the sentences that follow?

One reason could be to keep some sort of foundation of humanity for the readers. Looking at examples throughout history, we can see how people have the tendency to dehumanize others. This can be blatantly shown in Gilead, as the handmaids are dehumanized to feel like nothing but tools and machines. When the author continuously makes these references to animals and writes about these people hung on the wall, she may start to allow the reader to dehumanize the characters. Even if they are viewing the story through Offred’s eyes, it may become difficult to understand any of the characters from a realistic perspective. This is possibly why Atwood may have included the sentence, “they don’t leave the bodies hanging as long in summer as they do in winter, because of the flies and the smell.” It allows the characters to be understood even in the most obscene conditions. Even if the commanders are awful and the handmaids are likened to rats, Atwood makes sure to add in human details such as sensitivity towards senses. Even the people in Gilead don’t like the smell. They like things to be neat. By including this just after the rat comparison, Atwood allows viewers to humanize the people within the society, while still noticing the oppression the handmaids have to deal with. The placement appears to be very intentional.

Though this may seem conclusive, other interpretations could of course be made. The concepts of “neatness” and “purity” could play deeper into the themes of fabrication, rather than the aforementioned relatability. This might be due to our modern societies. As cities don’t keep clean in our world, why would they in Gilead? These assumptions create more questions about why Atwood would have this section, as what would be the purpose of further isolating the reader from understanding her writing? When readers interpret this desire for neatness as unrealistic, it further establishes the commanders as villains. The word choice of “purity” could definitely back up this idea, with its naturally negative tone. Atwood most likely allows for readers to draw their own conclusion on how far removed from reality these people are. There’s no question there is evil involved, but how relatable should this hatred towards the government be?

Despite the many different ways of viewing the author’s decisions within this passage, it’s clear that the intentions are to create a sense of isolation or unity between the reader and Offred. These themes can be found throughout the entire novel, as they can be found through close reading and thorough inspection of Atwood’s themes.

This artwork depicts the party that occurs in Chapter 38 of The Handmaid’s Tale. When Offred and the Commander first walk into the party scene, Offred says, “At first glance there’s cheerfulness to this scene. It’s like a masquerade party; they are like oversized children, dressed up in togs they’ve rummaged from trunks.” (Atwood, 235). In contrast, the scene in the bathroom is more somber and business-like. “The women don’t smile. They return to their smoking as if it’s serious business.” (Atwood, 242). The artwork depicts the scene in the bathroom. This scene is more intriguing because people look more out of place without the backdrop of the rest of the party. They are left wearing costumes. Moiras outfit is the most shocking. “There’s a wad of cotton attached to the back, I can see it as she half turns; it looks like a sanitary pad that’s been popped like a piece of popcorn. I realize it’s supposed to be a tail. Attached to her head are two ears, of a rabbit or deer, it’s not easy to tell; one of the ears has lost its starch or wiring and is flopping halfway down. She has a black bowtie around her neck and is wearing black net stockings and black high heels.” (Atwood, 239). The artwork depicts these details. She is dressed in attire so different from anything she has ever worn. They are all wearing costumes, even the ones who have done this before. They are playing for their lives wearing the armor of bunny ears. In this artwork, all of the outfits are drawn in bright colors. The colors are quite shocking, especially the makeup. “All wear make-up, and I realize how unaccustomed I’ve become to seeing it, on women, because their eyes look too big to me, too dark and shimmering, their mouths too read, too wet, blood-dipped and glistening; or, on the other hand, too clown-ish.” (Atwood, 235) I tried to make all the colors bright, especially the makeup, to show the contrast of this scene. But, these are the only colors in this artwork. This shows the way that the people in power like the commanders are trying to dress up a bleak reality. They are playing pretend and living in a matrix of their own making. The illusion still fades however. The artwork portrays threads of clothing loose, stains on the clothes, and cracks to the mirrors to show the brokenness of this party. “A movie about the past is not the same as the past” (Atwood, 235). Everything is different now, but people are still busy playing pretend. They are still trying to make a black and white world colorful, when there is still no freedom and still nothing to celebrate. Throughout this, the handmaids and the women are always the pieces being played around, like actors in a play. The bathroom is the backstage, showing all the women waiting for their cue. The last thing of importance is this mirror, which is cracked and broken yet they are all drawn to it, fixing their makeup, checking their reflection. It is all they have left of themselves. Something still artificial, reflecting a reality of their own making.

Soon after Offred and the Commander’s affair begins, she asks him for hand lotion to use as a substitute for her typical moisturizer of butter. She and the other Handmaids must use butter to keep their skin from being dry, as lotion is banned by the Wives. “Dry? the Commander said, as if he’d never thought about that before.” (158) He then calls the substitution “very clever” and laughs to himself. When reading, I immediately related this to countless exchanges in my own life where men have been dismissive of my struggles. Men could never understand many of the problems women face because they will never experience them, which makes it difficult to explain how they make me feel. My own experience with this has consisted less of specific moments and more of a behavioral pattern I have noticed. Men in my life have no problem interrupting me or talking down to me in ways they would never do with other men. Our society sees women as objects, which makes it easy to discount our feelings. It is rare that I feel taken seriously by men. I have been shut down trying to talk about politics with family members, being told I don’t know what I’m talking about. Experiences like that one are common and, at some point, make me not want to speak at all.

Offred finishes her explanation by telling him, “Jesus Christ, you ought to know.” She then thinks, “My voice was angrier than I’d intended, but he didn’t even wince.” (159) Her initial frustration over his dismissal of her struggle is inflated because he is now also dismissing her anger. His reaction, or lack thereof, reveals how little respect he has for her, how little she matters to him. Because he already didn’t grasp her original request for lotion, her anger simply seems like an overreaction of a sensitive little girl. He cannot take her anger seriously. Throughout this scene, I could notice Offred getting angrier and angrier with each snide comment, growing closer to her breaking point. As the reader, I felt that same anger, especially having experienced similar interactions myself. Offred then snaps at the Commander, yelling at him, listing all the items that the Handmaids are forbidden from having. Women are often viewed as sensitive because we tend to blow up at small comments. In reality, it is because we are so fed up with the repeated behavior that we can’t take it anymore. Femininity is intertwined with sensitivity, and sensitivity is perceived as weakness. I often find myself holding onto my stress, only to let it out at one small mistake I make or small interaction I have with someone. I’m not truly that upset over one thing, I just was bottling up my anxiety until that point. With Offred, her inner thoughts reveal how she felt from the beginning, but over and over, she stayed silent, despite the Commander’s irritating ignorance. Only when she could not hold it in anymore, her anger spilled over and she snapped. Women are conditioned to be silent and meek, so it is common for anger or other emotions to build up until we can’t hold them in anymore.

This book serves as a metaphor for our society, so it’s easy to draw comparisons to my own life. This specific scene stuck out to me because it was such a small moment, but her reaction throughout really resonated with me. It sets something off in me, the same feeling I get when I notice this happening to me. The constant feeling of being patronized is something every woman experiences daily, but I think it’s something men might not even notice they are doing. Gilead is such a foreign concept to me, but moments like this allow me to relate to Offred experiences and connect with her.

Me and My Husband by Mitski

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGCL3icu9dk

In this song, Mitski begins to describe her life with her “husband” and how she keeps saying “They are doing better”. Mitski emphasizes how they are doing better and will stick with each other. I connected this song to the scene of Ofreed being offered a glittery dress with feathers and makeup. She had to dress outside of her regular handmaid uniform and dress in clothing from the time before. “We glide through the darkening streets. The Commander has hold of my right hand as if we’re teenagers at the movies. I clutch the sky blue cape tightly about me, as a good wife should” (232). Offred in this quote said “as a good wife should” and not “would”. As the reader this made me question how she sees the commander and how she sees herself with him. ”And I’m the idiot with the painted face In the corner, taking up space. But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved” Mitksi “Me and My Husband”.

These lyrics remind me of the scene when she is blended in the background like everyone else. All the women there wore outfits that weren’t allowed in Gilead and the “Husband” can represent the commander when Offred was given the blue cape and “held it tight like a good wife” and he was “showing her off”. I don’t think she sees herself as a wife to him but more so she fits into the role of a degenerate wife.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road- Remastered 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy709iNG6i8

“Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” by Elton John represents the secret resistance the handmaids have in the system of Gilead. It is shown to the reader that there is a system called “Mayday”, an organization of handmaids that collaborates to find a sense of freedom in their oppressed environment. “There has to be an ‘us’. Because there is a ‘them’ now.” Ofglen introduced Mayday to Offred and this new door of hope opened for her. She was yearning for this feeling of an “us” with the handmaids now. It’s the beginning of building sisterhood and they’re gonna be working together to grab their freedom. In the song “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”, it says “I should have listened to my old man You know you can’t hold me forever I didn’t sign up with you I’m not a present for your friends to open This boy’s too young to be singin’ the blues”. The lyrics represented to me a feeling of resistance and a door of freedom being opened. “I’m not a present for your friends to open” can also be related to when in Jezebels, the commander was showing her off in her shiny revealing dress to other men in power. “You know you can’t hold me forever” also represents a feeling of hope, that there will be a way out. “Mayday” and “Underground Female Railroad” are people collaborating (handmaids and those that are helping handmaids) and are symbols plotted in the story that gives Offred the strength to not give up.

Watching Him Fade Away

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8cFcSq4EIs

“Watching Him Fade Away” by Mac DeMarco represents Offred and Luke drifting away from each other, mentally. Since the story is told from Offred’s point of view, the idea of Luke is dying down and she begins seeing her lover in other people. Offred starts using words such as “was”, representing what she is talking about left in the past. She catches herself and corrects it to “is”, representing the present time. “How long were you supposed to mourn, and what did they say? Make your life a tribute to the loved one. And he was, loved. One. Is, I say. Is, is, only two letters, you stupid shit, can’t you manage to remember it, even a short word like that?” 227. From this quote, the reader can see that Offred keeps referring people in her past that she carded for dearly as “was” and not “is”. The word choice as holds a strong meaning in Attwood’s literacy. “Walk around as if you never cared in the first place. But if you never call, you’ll end up stuck. Without another chance to tell him off right to his face”. Breaking down these lyrics, I connected this to Offred and Luke’s relationship because Offred is forced to wear this expression on her face. She can’t show all the emotions she’s going through, and despite her worrying about Luke, she has to walk around like she doesn’t care about him. But she can’t live that life to a full extent because she still does worry about him. Also when she constructs sentences that consist of playing with the words “was” and “is”, the feeling of being “stuck” that Mac says in his lyrics connects to Offred being in the middle of those two words. If she gives up the of hope that she can see Luke again, she will be stuck. “Without another chance to tell him off right to his face”, when referencing Luke she should refer to him with “is” and not “was” to keep his spirit alive and to keep that hope alive.

Playlist

Song #1 Bridge over troubled water -johnny cash

Johnny Cash’s rendition of bridge over troubled water is a heartfelt cover of the original song by Simon and garfunkel. The lyrics and tone I believe heavily portray offred’s relationship with moira throughout the book. Lyrics such as “when times are rough and friends just can’t be found like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.” Moira has been a lifeline for offers during the most challenging times of her life.

Song #2 Time in a bottle -jim croce

Another song that reminds me of Offred’s memory of her family, more specifically when she was allowed to see a photo of her child, is Jim Croce’s Time in a bottle. The song is about time, or the lack thereof, that we have to spend with those we love. Offed often thinks about this, her child was so very young when she was taken away. The excerpt from the song “ If i could save time in a bottle the first thing i’d like to do is to save every day til eternity passes away just to spend them with you.” This almost word for word represents offred’s feeling about the time that she has lost in gilead.

Song #3 The chelsea hotel -Leonard cohen

The commander’s relationship with Offred is complicated to say the least, We are unsure of anyone’s true feelings, but I believe that the song The Chelsea Hotel by leonard cohen is a near perfect summary of The commander’s attitude towards Offred. The lyrics “I don’t mean to suggest that I love you the best, I can’t keep track of each fallen robin. I remember you well at the Chelsea hotel. That’s all I don’t even think of you that often. “ This quote is almost exact as to how the commander feels about the offer. The line “i cant keep track of each fallen robin” refers to how many other handmaids the commander has done this with before.

Song #4 Where or when -peggy lee

Originally composed in 1937 by Richard Rogers for the play “Babes in arms” It is undoubtedly a love story. I believe the song takes on a slightly different meaning in the handmaid’s tale. The Lyric “it seems we stood and talked like this before, the smile you were smiling then, but I can’t remember where, or when.” originally this lyric was most definitely about two people who feel as though they have met before. If we look at this in the context of the handmaid’s tale it’s as if Offred is trying to remember her time with Luke but her memories are slowly slipping away. She can remember some things most things she can’t seem to remember where or when.

Song#5 The partisan- Leonard cohen

The partisan, or La complainte du partisan is a song with a very rich history, one that is very reminiscent of the handmaid’s tale. Originally La complainte du partisan was a song dating back to the French resistance during their occupation by the Nazis. The reason I have chosen Leonard Cohen’s cover of the song is for two simple reasons. It is mostly in english, and it is slightly less specific towards the french resistance. With lyrics like “I have changed my name so often, I lost my wife and children, but I have many friends.” We can see the clear connections to the handmaid’s tale, as Offred has had her name changed, she also lost her husband and child. Those around her can be seen as her new friends, that arent really her friends, just people in the same terrible boat as her.

Songs of Choice

Nightmare - Halsey

The song “Nightmare” by Halsey was made in 2019 in response to the start of abortion bans. The song fits a lot of topics into 3 minutes. I thought about the concept of “Mayday” and how these topics relate to why they’re a thing. In the beginning, Halsey starts off with a bedtime prayer to pray for the sins she’s about to commit in the song. “I’ve been polite but won’t be caught dead.” a line from the song reminds me of how Offred has to keep up this version of herself and basically transform into another person while being a handmaid. While the lyrics may not relate to “Mayday” I think the angry-frustrusrated tone of the song does. I think one of the reasons why Mayday was created was the pent-up anger of following the rules and being in Gilead.

Mother’s Daughter - Miley Cyrus

“Mother’s Daughter” by Miley Cyrus is about Cyrus’ experience growing up with a mother who is a feminist and making her mother proud by continuing that legacy. In the book we get introduced to Offred’s mother through memories of Offred’s childhood and how her mother was a feminist who went to marches and fought on the front lines for women empowerment. While the song and book relate, they talk about different feelings. Offred didn’t like her mom’s work as they would argue a lot but in the song, Cyrus talks about feeling proud to take on that feminist role after her mother.

All Night - Beyonce

Throughout the book we see the relationship between Serena and the Commander, and how love doesn’t seem to be a priority. As it was referenced in the book it seems more of a job, something they have to do to keep the roles of Gilead in order. Although we don’t know much about Serena and Fred’s relationship before Gilead it’s safe to assume that they have been together for a long time. During the ceremony, Serena is almost always visibly uncomfortable and even though it may not be cheating according to Gilead Offred refers to herself as the Commander’s mistress. In the song, Beyonce expresses the hurt and forgiveness she feels when her husband cheated on her singing, “So many people that I know, they just tryna touch ya. — Give you some time to prove that I can trust you again.”. When trust in a relationship is broken it could be hard to regain and it seems as if Serena is having a hard time controlling her emotions because technically she can’t be upset if these are the rules and Offred is doing her job.

Consideration - Rihanna & SZA

We see the relationship between Offred and the Commander progress since Chapter 23 when he asks her to meet in his office for the first time. While listening to this song Rihanna and SZA sing the line “Let me cover your shit in glitter, I could make it gold” and I think this line does a good job of representing the obliviousness of the Commander when Offred tells him that the handmaids use butter as lotion. Using glitter to make something look better than it is, the Commander doesn’t know how bad it really is for the handmaids even though he helped put this system in place. “I needed you to please give my reflection a break. From the faces, it’s seeing now.” in this line Rihanna talks about her reflection and how she’s had to maintain an image, one that she wants to get rid of, which reminded me of how there are no mirrors in the bathrooms so the handmaids can’t see themselves and how Offred has shed the image of her old self from the “before times” into who we now know as Offred.

Love - Kendrick Lamar & Zacari

The theme of Love comes up in the book a few times as something that is non-existent and that’s not useful for the Hanmaid’s purpose. This song is all about love and what Gilead lacks according to Ofrred In chapter 33 on page 220 Aunt Lydia tells the girls “Love is not the point” in the red center. After the Commander asks Offred what Gilead lacks Offred responds with “Love” and the idea of falling in love. I also noticed that Serena and the Commander don’t seem to have a loving relationship as the Commander told Offred “Arranged marriages have always worked you just as well, if not better.” (220). The lyrics of the song “If I minimized my worth, would you still love me?” made me think of Serena and how she aligned and still aligns with the views of Gilead but now that the rules of Gilead have had an effect on her she might be changing her mind. She has to have her image minimized as a “Commander’s Wife” where her status is high but her power is limited.

Reading the Handmaid’s Tale, we see the life of Offred and the few handmaid’s Offred references that live an exterminated life. This book has taken the idea of dystopian and made it a living hell for women quite literally having them be forced to act upon men’s will. With no questions asked there is nothing but submission to men in this world and they look to have no wonderful escape in this book. But the thing I often pick up from the book is the killing of many ideas, people, things and life before Gilead. A quote I want to bring up is from Chapter 22, pg. 133, that talks about power and that being stripped away. It reads.“Moira had power now, she’d been set loose, she’d set herself loose. She was now a loose woman.” It kills the thought and idea of something so small such as maybe wearing your skirt to a certain length or even saying something makes for Gilead to kill it. It’s hard to call this a society when things are running on questionable morals and ethics that you don’t believe in not one bit. The apparent reason we see Offred often going to the past and referencing her old life is because it was when she was alive and had fulfillment for the things she believed in. The visions of her are wiped clean when the power is gone and the republic you reside in is like plastic. No fate is a conspiracy, neither is there speculation for the people who may have killed the dream of the woman of Gilead.

Which is why I take note of the sanity of Offred, and I see a lot of parallels with me and her throughout chapters. I can see a fight for the system just like Offred can see but it’s promptly killed as the conscious thoughts of the society we live in take over. I need to be a better writer and learner but the things that stop me are the “smarter people” than me but I know I can just as or better than them. Which is why I feel I ask the question “Can you be?” I don’t know what that requires of me but the quest to let go of these voids consume me and I can’t seem to let them go as positive thoughts are killed very quickly. It often ends up with me going back to the glorious past and looking at the “good” times and it’s so hard because things were sunshine and rainbows as the material was simply easier. But the horizon of being better than I was years ago often leaves me jetlagged or having to recuperate. Even as the hard times pile up I think to the quote “I have failed once again to fulfill the expectations of others, which have become my own.” from Chapter 13, pg. 73, which touches on both of our struggles. Even though I’m not in a dystopian society run by men, it hurts to see someone stuck in their own head even as the life they need is a little distant. But the remedy is the peace in which the chaos of our own doubts brings, its beauty in the madness as in the end it will be rewarding. The quotes also bring up people who have expectations, but delivering is the thing you bring on your own even as other people expect them to be fulfilled just like you did. Who do you put the blame on when the people also put the blame on you and you’re right back to where you started which is in your own head? Looking at Gilead and reality, it’s a blame game and in the end you want to just go away for a little while. A quote about ending it all for good in Gilead touches on this as it reads “That was one of the things they do. They force you to kill, within yourself.” The dream is killed first and then with that the soul goes away with it as it just becomes too much to handle. The people in my life have great expectations for me and to deliver such expectations we have to force many things in order to get where we want. The expectation becomes both of our problems and once it’s forced it takes a toll on you as you want to succeed more than ever.

But even as this crazy feeling takes attachment to you have to not be afraid. This quote touches on this “Better never means better for everyone, he says. It always means worse for some.” from Chapter 32, pg. 211. The things you experience or go through are often not forever and could be worse, even as there is no hope. Think about the past but don’t get stuck in it as it will take over you. But just know that there will be good times even in times of Horor…

My artwork is about the scene where Offred finally talks to her walking buddy Ofglen. It happens when they go by the Soul Scrolls building, and they stop to look in and see the “Holy Rollers” at work. These machines are explained to be prayer machines, writing and speaking prayers that people send in. I decided to go with a sinister look when drawing these praying machines. This was an easy decision. Offred describes them as toneless and metallic, and from their function, they don’t seem visually appealing. The part that I hope stands out on these machines is the eye. Throughout “The Handmaid’s Tale” eyes play a big role in the way the new government “decorates”.They keep the sense of privacy low and people on their best behavior. I drew the eyes looking at Offred and Ofglen, because although they probably aren’t pointed at them in the story, they might as well be.

While they are stopped, Ofglen takes the first step and reaches out to Offred with a risky question: “Do you think God listens to these machines?” After thinking over her options, Offred gives into her curiosity and says no. The conversation that follows is the first of many important conversations that they have together. I think of it as a kind of checkpoint for Offred. Now I want to back up a little because what I drew was the moment right before the dialogue, when they share a moment of eye contact. I think this moment is arguably more important than the conversation, because this eye contact is even more rare than talking is in this world, and it isn’t even face to face, it’s in a reflection! I tried to make this picture look like it was from the point of view of a passerby, an outside perspective, because that’s who we are in this situation. Offred is writing to us, we are looking into her life from what she writes, but if we were to walk by her in person, we would never know who she was. However, if you look closely, you can see a faint reflection in the shatterproof glass of the Soul Scrolls window. This is where I tried to tie it all in with a little bit of symbolism. The machines see the two Handsmaids. they have eyes, and they can see them. They mention bugs (hidden microphones). They could be anywhere, so they can never be one hundred percent sure that they can talk. They are not safe.

My interpretation of the reflection was sort of like a fourth dimension, a safe space to talk for these two renegades. It is meant to seem crazy or weird, because well, the fact that they have to take these precautions just to talk is pretty crazy and weird. I also wanted to portray a sense of disconnect from the surrounding area and the clothes they wear to what they really have their minds on. I wanted to show the shell that they are encased in, and what lies beneath.

What Was I Made For (By Billie Eilish) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpnTd9Dx2OM The song “What Was I Made For” by Billie Eilish was originally proposed for the Barbie movie, but to me it resonates with society’s stereotypes. This song in particular is written from the perspective of a female, questioning what she has to do with her life. There are moments in The Handmaid’s Tale where this theme is shown. The role that the Handmaids play is to only reproduce and have sex with men. Not only Offred has to follow the rules of Gilead, all women feel strangely controlled by men. Owning the opposite gender means that the female characters in Gilead have no choice of what they can do. In Gilead it is the only requirement they need to fill. If not, the women are considered outcasts or unwomen.

Verse 1: Takin’ a drive, I was an ideal, Looked so alive, turns out I’m not real, Just something you paid for, What was I made for?

Boys Will Be Boys (By Dua Lipa) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0QWX2M7W7M The female community are both referenced in this song and in the section “Jezebel’s” of The Handmaid’s Tale. The Commander uses his title to get what he wants. The section focused on the wrong and secretive relationship of Offred and the Commander. The skimpy outfit the Commander made Offred wear to Jezebel’s implies that his intentions are only about sex. Only about his gain and pleasure. “Better never means, better for everyone, he says, it always means worse, for some.” (211) The Commander abuses his power and decides what body parts should be seen or covered. In verse 3, the lyric, “And that was sarcasm, in case you needed it mansplained…” shows a stereotype that takes place in society.

Verse 3: I’m sure there’s something that I can’t find the words to say. I know that there will be a man around to save the day. And that was sarcasm, in case you needed it mansplained, I should’ve stuck to ballet.

Best Days (By Alessia Cara) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEIAcNu6FpI The men in Gilead have a higher role in the society. There are moments where the Commander requests Offred’s presence in his office, where she is not allowed to be. This shows how the Commander can bend the rules for his own pleasure. The relationship between Offred and the Commander starts out as a transactional relationship, but then begins to take an unwarranted turn. “I visit the Commander two or three nights a week, always after dinner, but only when I get the signal.” (p 154). Similarly the song includes uncertainty about life that is not controllable. That interaction with the world around you will change your life in one way or another. What will the next day bring?

Verse 3: What if my best days are the days I’ve left behind? And what if the rest stays the same for all my life? I’m running with my eyes closed, so it goes. You live and then you die. But the hardest pill to swallow is the meantime. Are the best days just the one that we survive?

Locked Out of Heaven (By Bruno Mars) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXMXxialNbo The song Locked Out of Heaven includes themes about sexual relationships and religious wording. In The Handmaid’s Tale sex is important and is brought up in daily life. Yet, the conversations never seem to be public. Always in private and voiced inside the characters head. “What we prayed for with emptiness so we would be worthy to be filled: with grace, with love, with self denial, semen and babies.” (p 194) There are word choices in Margret Atwood’s writing that challenge the reader to think about the purpose of the female gender.

Verse 1: Never had much faith in love or miracles (ooh), Never wanna put my heart on the line (ooh), But swimmin in your water’s something spiritual (ooh), I’m born again every time you spend the night (ooh)

Dear Society (By Madison Beer) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buildkXr1h0 Madison Beer uses her skills of writing lyrics to use metaphors/symbols. Atwood also uses symbolism to indicate the connection to the current world. Cigarettes can be hurtful to a human’s insides. There can be mental and physical consequences. Magazines, another symbol that often comes up in the novel. Images of almost naked women and sexual ads portray the same idea. “It would make me feel that I have power. But such feeling is illusion, and too risky.” The characters in Gilead have no idea about what is happening in the outside world. Nonetheless they can’t change someone’s opinion that they can’t approach.

Verse 1: Sleepless nights and cigarettes. My daily dose of internet. And all the things I shoulda quit, but never did, oh. Evil voices in my head. I woke up in a stranger’s bed…

1:

“Dark Age” - MGMT

I chose this song for a number of reasons one of them being because it says “Forgiving who you are”. Forgiving could mean to give up the resentment you have toward yourself, wether it be resent for your past or even just the person you are. We see Offred do a lot of or try to forgive herself especially in the context of her mother and her past relationship with luke involving her daughter. This reminds me of chapter 24 after her first meeting with the commander when she decides to forget her past self in order to focus on the present, trying to escape. Is forgiving and forgetting the same thing? (I also chose this song because it feels very dystopian)

2:

“Gallowdance” - Lebanon Hanover

I chose this song because it says “Dance with me the gallowdance” “As long as we’re not hanging”. This reminds me of Offred and her shopping partner as they always observe the wall were the authorities hang those who resist or break rules. I feel like this quote from the song fits perfectly because they “Dance the gallowdance” (break the rules) but “As long as were not hanging” (as long as they dont get caught) they don’t care and are unphased by seeing the body’s instead have a sense if curiosity.

3:

“Downswing” - Superheaven

I chose this song because it says “I’ve been there before, i never want to go back i try to forget, what it feels like to be unattached”. I chose this quote because it symbolizes the forgetting of memories. We see a lot of this as its used in order to gain better control over the female and male populations in gilead, controlled people are easy to manipulate especially if they have not former memory. They even turn or use these memories against them as we saw most recently when someone made a bribe using Offred’s daughter.

4:

“Orbitron” - Duster

I chose this song because it says “You know the clock is ticking down and no ones in control”. I feel Offred would resonate to this alot because she often thinks about and sometimes talks about prayer, but she isn’t convinced that her prayers are heard or who shes praying to. In such a hopeless situation were she really lacks any sort of freedom it would be easy to see each day as nothing more than time passed “The clock ticking down”. In with this state of hopelessness / loneliness it would also be easy to say “no ones in control”. (no ones hearing or looking after me)

5:

“Your Face” - Wisp

I chose this song because it says “You look at me the same but i cant reciprocate”. This quote for me defines a lot of Offred’s male interactions especially with the commander and nick. Throughout the book she has various interactions with Nick a lot of which describe a sense of shared interest in each other. There is one or two scenes were a sexual tension is described “but i cant reciprocate” even if Offred has them same desire she cannot indulge out of consideration for her wellbeing. A similar situation is depicted with the commander as from the first meeting they had he held a agenda, asking Offred to act as if she “meant it” or to “fake it”. The commander desires a romantic relationship so he is using this relationship to simulate his ideal image of one. He “Looks at her the same but she cant reciprocate”.

Margaret Atwood has a very interesting way of describing Offred’s relationships in The Handmaid’s Tale. Offred is one of the fortunate women in Gilead that remembers the past life well. She was the mistress in Luke’s marriage and then they got married and had a baby girl. During the transition into this new society, the whole family is separated. Currently she is placed into the home of the Commander and Serena Joy. This is where she meets Nick. Nick’s role is unclear but he does wear a Guardian uniform. During their first interaction, “He takes a final puff of the cigarette, lets it drop to the driveway, and steps on it. He begins to whistle. Then he winks. I drop my head and turn so that the white wings hide my face, and keep walking. “(18) which then Offred is confused about his choices. Not only is this interaction very creepy but Offred’s first thought is to question him on his authority. I find it a little odd that Nick just winks at her specifically like does he do this often or is it just her? Margaret brings this interaction to life by the build up of Gilead. A man that isn’t the Commander is winking at a handmaid. From this point on, it just gets worse.

Nick works under the Commander just like everyone else but he seems comfortable in his position. The most off-putting moment is when he goes to find Offred at night and they end up in the sitting room. “He puts his hand on my arm, pulls me against him, his mouth on mine, what else comes from such denial? Without a word. Both of us shaking, how I’d like to.”(98) and they end up making out. Firstly this is extremely weird. I think it is interesting the dynamic of this situation. Offred knows that this is illegal and she could get in trouble if anyone found out. She is basically an object to the men in this society and she is portrayed with no significance other than to reproduction. Offred knows that women “are two-legged wombs, that’s all:sacred vessels, ambulatory chalices.”(136). I think back into our society about how women are manipulated in relationships and I feel like Luke has manipulated Offred. I think this is how cheating happens. Even though that is literally what happened between Luke and his ex wife where he left her for Offred, for some reason Offred is still in love with Luke. Maybe Offred just likes the idea of Luke and their past relationship.

Secondly, she is married… like she is so obsessed with her husband Luke that why is she kissing another man. To add on when Offred thinks “It’s so good, to be touched by someone, to be felt so greedily, to feel so greedy. Luke, you’d know, you’d understand. It’s you here, in another body.”(99). She begins to imagine Nick as if he is Luke but they are clearly different people. Is it because she misses Luke or maybe she feels guilty for kissing another man that she has to think about Luke? Why is Offred kissing another man but yet thinking it’s her husband? This love triangle thing is so confusing since Offred is obsessed with Luke but yet can’t see him. She doesn’t even know if he is alive. I will never understand this situation because when you love someone, you should only be able to focus on them. Even when Offred is constantly thinking about Luke, she proceeds to have this intimate connection with Nick and to make it worse, it’s also the Commander too.

The Commander holds a level of power that Offred will never obtain in Gilead. The whole love triangle plus the Commander is a mess if we look at it from a power perspective. Although we don’t know where Luke is, we can assume he has more power than Offred. Offred does not necessarily have power but her position is very important since she is a handmaid. I think that the growing love story between Offred and the Commander is cute but also risky. There is also an aspect of their relationship where the Commander is lonely. The Commander is finding someone to fill his void since the Commander’s Wife does not connect with him anymore. Even though this is not the first time the Commander has messed with a handmaid, Offred brings this situation into a different light as she is obsessed with Luke and also has a small thing for Nick which we can assume is the Commander’s right hand man. The entire love square thing is confusing but yet interesting in the way everybody reacts to each other.

This drawing depicts Offred from the Commander’s perspective. It takes place in the Commander’s study on the night they go to Jezebel’s, and shows Offred seated across from the Commander at his desk, just after he has given her makeup.

When Offred is with the Commander, she often seems conscious of her face and facial expressions. During their first secret meeting, when he asks her to play Scrabble with him, she narrates, “I hold myself absolutely rigid. I keep my face unmoving” (p. 138). The night they go to Jezebel’s, when Offred is going into the Commander’s study, she says, “I knock on his door, hear his voice, adjust my face, go in” (p. 229). To Offred, facial expressions seem like a point of vulnerability, where her true emotions can be seen. She frequently adjusts her expressions, as if putting on a mask in an attempt to hide these feelings. This action is seen most often with the Commander, likely because of the extreme imbalance in their power dynamic. In my illustration, I depicted Offred’s face as completely blank, because it sometimes feels as though this blankness is what she aims to achieve. With a blank face, the Commander would not be able to discern any of her thoughts or feelings.

I also noticed the idea of faces as a point of vulnerability and intimacy during the first Ceremony after Offred and the Commander start meeting in secret. During this scene, Offred recounts, “He reached his hand up as if to touch my face; I moved my head to the side, to warn him away, hoping Serena Joy hadn’t noticed, and he withdrew his hand again, withdrew into himself and his single-minded journey” (p. 162). Here, the Commander’s movement to touch Offred’s face displays the shift in the pair’s relationship, the new connection that had previously been absent. But Offred pulls away. To her, their relationship is not one of intimacy. She has to be conscious of what this action could give away to Serena Joy, as she is more likely to be punished for it. In pulling away, she is again pulling back and hiding her face from the Commander.

In my illustration, on the Commander’s desk is the makeup that the Commander gives to Offred the night they go to Jezebel’s. This moment felt significant because we see that despite all of the hiding that Offred does around the Commander, he doesn’t really care about seeing her real face, or her real emotions. He only cares about her face looking the way he wants it, and that night, he wanted her in makeup. Although the makeup ended up helping Offred fit in at Jezebel’s, initially, it felt like the Commander was picking out Offred’s face for her that night, deciding on his own how he wanted her to look. This is one of many examples in The Handmaid’s Tale of Offred having other people decide what she should do, what she should think, and how she should act.

My artwork is symbolizing how the Commander is replacing Luke in Offred’s life. Seeing as the Commander took her to the hotel where she would have affairs with Luke, I thought it was fitting to draw Offred looking at herself in the mirror side by side, the left being in “the time before,” and the right being in Gilead. Each quote I chose to put on either side of the mirror is significant in that it is her inner thoughts towards each man in these two periods of her life. The quotes highlight Offred’s cynicism, which only grew with her new role in Gilead, as a surrogate for the Commander’s Wife’s child. In the past, she was naive, and was only worried about whether or not Luke loved her, but now, she is thinking of the whole picture, and appears rather resigned about the whole thing.

I thought that each scene had an interesting parallel between the other, in that Offred is, in both cases, the mistress. Moira’s response highlights that aspect: “She disapproved of Luke, back then. Not of Luke but the fact that he was married. She said I was poaching, on another woman’s ground” (171). Offred’s response, however, was to defend Luke and his choices. This was an obvious indicator of her love for Luke. At that point, she didn’t care whether or not he was married, as long as he loved her and she loved him.

In Gilead, the Commander is someone she is serving, and this has led to an obvious power-dynamic that the Commander has been continually abusing to get Offred to fit the roles he wants her to. At first, they were playing Scrabble, and it was more of a transactional companionship. But now, the Commander has fully “corrupted” her, as Moira explains to Offred when they are in the break area: “your gang are supposed to be such chaste vessels. They like to see you all painted up. Just another crummy power trip” (243). The Commander did just that, dressing her up, exposing her skin and face to all at Jezebel’s, before having sex with her in the hotel, forcefully. This all corroborates the theory that the Commander follows a pattern of abuse of power towards the Handmaids in his service, that led the previous Handmaid to kill herself. The Handmaid’s warning, then, may be in reference to that pattern, as Offred asked for the meaning of the Latin phrase “nolites te bastardes carborundorum,” soon before being “invited” to Jezebel’s.

The difference in perspectives on being a mistress of the two men in her life during “the time before” and Gilead really highlight how much Offred has changed as a person due to the societal pressures of Gilead. She has clearly become much more cynical towards men, possibly as a result of her experiences at the Red Center, where she was taught that men are uncontrollable and that she and the other Handmaids need to have restraint. But the overall differences in treatment of Offred by both men who she is having an affair with further highlight the differences in “the time before” and Gilead that impact Offred and her physical and mental wellbeing directly.

The artwork that I made is about when Offred and Ofglen visit the wall. I tried to combine both of the times they were there. The first time, Offer had oranges you could put inside her basket not being the primary point of attention but still there regardless just to remind you of their previous visit. I tried to make the artwork look like it is in the first person as if you were Offered seeing the dead person that you may or may not have known in your former life. What you can also see is a “J” on the person on the wall because in Handmaid’s Tale it says, “The body is marketed only with a J in red. It doesn’t mean Jewish.” I also believe that the first-person point of view allows you to feel like anyone can be on the wall and that it is just dumb luck that you are not up there as opposed to someone else. That line was the reason that I decided to make the artwork in the first place. When Offred told the reader that the J was not about Jews you can infer the lines of cruelty that Gilead has. There are many groups outside and inside of the umbrella of Christianity that you can’t pick one group and probably all of those groups have an equal chance to be stung up on the wall and killed. Also just how nonchalant the narrator describes how she knows what the symbols on the dead body mean is a reminder of just how bloodsoaked the society is. Another part of the work is that the sun is initially redder than the normal sun. I did this trying to show how much more bloody Gilead is than our normal day-to-day is. The sheet itself while not being fully accurate to how the people were in clothing while they were hung looks more like a ghost and of course, ghosts are dead just like the people on the wall. The reason this sense is important is that it shows how the people who were killed are not just some one-time occurrence and is in fact a common theme that happens many times in this society. This leads to the very calm attitude that is shown throughout the book about people being killed or kidnapped and just how calm and unresponsive society is to all of the necessary violence. In conclusion, the artwork is overall about how the society is bloody and that the people in the society are becoming more and more used to how the government is acting. The oranges are a rarity and are increasingly rare because of restrictions on the red light to the bloody attitude of the government. You are in the first person to put you in the frame of how Offred is and how that could affect you. Finally the J an unrepresented letter to show the cruelty of the government. This is what the piece is trying to get across to the viewer.

Survivor - 2WEI

Throughout the novel we see that Offred is a survivor, enduring the worst of situations and yet she never gives up. In the song “Survivor,” by 2WEI, they sing, “I’m a survivor. I’m not gon’ give up. I’m not gon’ stop. I’m gon’ work harder.” Similarly, in the book, we constantly see Offred continue to persevere through the world of Giliad no matter how bad the situation gets. Earlier on in the book, Offred is moved from the red center to the commander’s house. She is immediately met with Serena Joy who takes a quick dislike to her and wastes no time in showing Offred that she has power over her. The commander’s wife is not the only challenge that Offred now faces but she is also forced to be a handmaid. Whether she wants to or not, Offred is forced to have sex with the commander and ultimately bear his child, yet she perseveres. Later on in the book, the commander takes Offred to the club and at the end of the night expects her to have sex with him. When faced with this situation she thinks to herself, “let’s get this over with or you’ll be here all night. Bestir yourself. Move your flesh around., breathe audibly.” (255) It is evident from her thoughts that Offred has to talk herself into having sex with the commander because she clearly doesn’t want to. Offred has thought many times about giving up, killing herself, and never having to deal with this world again, but it is hope that motivates her to persevere. “Hope is rising in me, like sap in a tree. Blood in a wound. We have made an opening. I want to ask her if she’s seen Moira, if anyone can find out what’s happened to Luke, to my child, my mother even.” (169) Hope that she will one day be reunited with her family, that is what keeps her going. That is what makes her a survivor. One that will never give up.

Never Forget You - Zara Larsson

In the chorus of the song “Never Forget You,” by Zara Larsson, she sings, “I will never forget you. You will always be by my side. Since the day that I met you, I knew that I would love you ‘til the day I die.” This set of lyrics is portrayed perfectly by the way that Offred always remembers her family. Whether it is in her dreams, in a picture, or simply in her own thoughts she is constantly reminding herself of the ones she loves. The reader can see clear evidence of this after Moira escapes from the gymnasium. Not knowing whether Moira was alive or not or if she would ever see Moira again, Offred constantly thought about how Moira would react or respond to certain situations she found herself in. “Don’t think that way, Moira would say.” (85) “Moira was always more logical than I am.” (171) “Chickenshit, Moira would say.” (232) No matter what the circumstance was, if Offred was unsure or worried, she would almost always think about what Moira would encourage her to do. This demonstrates Offred’s true love for Moira and how Moira will always be by Offred’s side, even if she’s not physically there.

Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Alex Sloan

The song, “Dancing With Your Ghost,” describes the way Sloan dreams of being with someone she lost, singing, “every night I’m dancing with your ghost. I stay up all night tell myself I’m all right.” Similarly, in the book, Offred spends every night dreaming of being back with Luke or her daughter. In chapter 18, labeled ‘Night,’ Offred dreams of being with Luke saying, “Laying in bed, with Luke, his hand on my rounded belly.” (103) In the following chapter, Offred describes another dream saying, “I pick her up and feel arms and legs go around me and I begin to cry, because I know I am not awake.” (109) In each of these separate instances, Offred dreams of being with the family she has lost. While Sloan sings about dancing with the ghost of her lost loved one, Offred dreams of doing the most simple things like laying in bed with her husband and giving her daughter a hug. She has been denied physical touch for so long that these interactions are all she wishes to get from the family she’s lost.

In the song, Sloan goes on to sing, “I gotta move on but it hurts to try,” corresponding perfectly to Offred holding on to the past. She misses the life she had in the time before and wants more than anything to return to the life she had. However, as time goes on she is slowly starting to forget the memories she has from back then, “it’s my fault. I am forgetting too much,” (193) symbolizing that she is getting accustomed to her new life and unintentionally moving on. This brings her a great deal of pain as she values the memories of her family above all else, connecting back to the idea in the lyric that it hurts to move on.

Silence - Marshmello

The song “Silence,” by Maarshmello connects directly to Offred’s relationship with the commander. In the song, Marshmello sings, “I found peace in your violence. Can’t tell me there’s no point in trying.” This is perfectly demonstrated in the book as Offred has found slivers of peace in the commander that in her eyes, make him human. In the book, Offred recalls a documentary about World War 2 and the wife of a Nazi prison guard. She recalls the wife saying, “She did not believe he was a monster, he was not a monster to her. Probably he had some endearing trait.” (145) Offred goes on to say, “How easy it is to invent a humanity, for anyone at all. What an available temptation,” (146) acknowledging her own desire to find humanity in the commander despite his similarities with the nazi guard. While the guard enforced rules that punished and killed Jewish people, the commander enforces rules that punish and even led to the death of women, making them both monsters. Yet Offred at times, has been able to focus on the endearing trait of the commander, Scrabble, and thus sees him as human. Amongst all the agony and suffering he has caused for people in Giliad, Offred has found peace in his love for Scrabble, just like the lyric in the song.

Power - Kanye West

The song “Power,” by Kanye West contains lines that represent both sides of the social hierarchy in Giliad, perfectly displaying the polar opposite perspectives. Specifically towards the end of the song West says, “where you hiding? I got the power to make your life so exciting,” which is perfectly displayed in chapters 35-39 when the commander takes Offred to the club. Acting as though it is a treat for her and she should be grateful. We see evidence of this when the commander asks Offred, “enjoying yourself?” to which Offred says, “he wants me to. This is a treat after all.” (240) This demonstrates the commander’s self centered perspective as he believes that he is doing Offred a favor by sneaking her into the club when in reality, the only reason he brought her there is to use her for sex without Serena Joy having to be present. Moreover, this isn’t the first time the commander has ‘given’ Offred something only to expect something in return. Earlier in the book, the commander gives Offred hand lotion for her skin which he presents as a gift but in reality, the only reason he gave her the lotion is because he wants her to play Scrabble with him late at night. The commander sees himself as Offred’s savior, helping her by giving her a purpose and luxuries like the club and lotion when in reality, everything he does is only for himself.

Quickly after that initial line, West sings, “now this would be a beautiful death. I’m jumping out the window. I’m letting everything go.” This relates perfectly to the way the women see their lives in the new society. When we are first introduced to the red center, Offred describes all the changes made to the gymnasium, noting the removal of chandeliers and mirrors. She explains the removal of those items when she says, “It isn’t running away they’re afraid of. We wouldn’t get far. It’s those other escapes, the ones you can open in yourself given a cutting edge.” (8) This theme of suicide is brought up again when Moira is captured and was is being returned to the city. Moira said, “I did consider offing myself, and maybe I would have if there’d been anyway.” (248) This actively demonstrates that most of the women see death as a way out, an escape from the prison their lives have become the same way Kanye West said, “now this would be a beautiful death,” in the song. However, these quotes also show the lengths that the people in charge have gone to to ensure that these women don’t get the opportunity to escape. While men think of it as an exciting reward, women find it so horrible that they would almost prefer death.

Girl Afraid—The Smiths

The song “Girl afraid” by the Smiths” is an overlooked gem within The Smiths catalog. Released in 1984 the song contains the trademarks of every song by the band at that time. From the up intricate guitar and moody singing typical of The Smiths. I would have never compared or drawn any parallels to this song and to “The Hands Maid Tale” until I delved deeper into the lyrics. The song details the miscommunication between a boyfriend and girlfriend, delving into their thinking. The lyrics of this song remind me of the relation between Offred and the commander as well as the relationship between Nick and Offred. In the first verse of this song Morrissey sings the words
“Where do his intentions lay? Or does he even have any?” This line reminds me of how Offred felt when the commander first started to take interest in her. After the verse in the first refrain another line sticks out to me. “In the room downstairs he sat and stared, In the room downstairs he sat and stared” This immediately reminds me of the scene in THT in which the commander entered Offred’s room and said nothing (chapter 8 page 49). Another line in the first verse stuck out to me. “He never really looks at me, I give him every opportunity” This line reminds me of Offred’s relation with Nick nearing the end of the book. The lovers’ relationship being strained and filled with miscommunication similarly to the boyfriend and girlfriend in the song. This line of the song especially reminds me of the scene at the end of chapter 36 where Nick refuses to meet eyes with Offred.

Naomi—Neutral Milk Hotel

Written and released in 1996 “Naomi” by Neutral Milk Hotel is a song of obsession. Originally written by Jeff Mangum, the song is about his obsession with Naomi Yang, a bassist of another band. The lyrics focus on the feeling of obsession and many angelic/religious themes remind me heavily of the relationship between the commander and Offred. One particular section of the song that sticks out to me. “I’m watching Naomi, full bloom”… “One billion angels come and hold her down They could hold her down until she cries” This line reminds me of the Commander’s desire for Offred but it being through his puritan view of the world. Not seeing her as a person but an experience. In chapter 129, he even hints as to thinking of Offred and the handmaid as nothing but pets. “If your dog dies get another”-187

While I’m Waiting—Fleeting joys

Released in 2006 “While Im Waiting” by Fleeting Joys is an incredibly emotional and melancholic song. With heavily distorted guitars and somber singing this song creates a deep sense of longing and was the first thing that came to my mind when doing this project. The song reminds me of Offred’s thoughts of Luke and her child.  With the song's one repeating lyric “I think I’ll let it go’’ that is broken up by a few lines. One line that made me think of Offred is. 

“So happy you’ll never come down, While I’m waiting, I want you” This line directly made me think about chapter 18 of The Hand Maid’s tale in which Offred imagines the different scenarios Luke could have been in after they parted ways. Doing this so nothing surprises her if she ever hears from Luke again thus the lyric “So happy you’ll never come down”.

Julie Profumo — Cleaners from Venus

This theme of trying to escape a bad situation no matter what is prevalent in The Handmaid’s Tale and there was only one song I could think of that represents this theme. Released in 1985 “Julie Profumo” by Cleaner from Venus is another melancholic and somber song I’ve added to this playlist. With lyrics that detail the singer leaving his home to go to England due to the changing times. With lyrics like “Time is racing, Shadows waiting” there is a great sense of urgency in this push for change. This song reminds me of Moira. Her being represented through the lyrics in the chorus. “Someday soon I will forget this junkyard”…”It’s a changing world and I can tell you one thing, Time is racing” Moira is constantly pushing for freedom from Gilead. From holding an aunt hostage and stealing the aunt’s clothing to escape to choosing to be a prostitute. Moira refuses to be stuck in the junkyard that is Gilead.

I Can See It (But I Can’t Feel It) — My Bloody Valentine

The last song in my playlist “I Can See It (But I Can’t Feel It)” By My Bloody Valentine has to be one of the most depressing songs I have on here. Released in 1988 this song is thought to be about someone who leaves their relationship with someone because they thought they were dragging the other person down. With very somber and sad singing with the jangly despondent guitars this song explores some very deep emotions. This song as a whole reminds me of the relationship between Offred and Luke. with the line “Don’t know when I will leave you again, Grab a reason, And I’m dragging you down” in the verse reminding me how before the present events of THT Luke and Offred were willing to make sacrifices for each other and their daughter. With the part of the song with the other part of the verse with the lyrics “Shot in the head I can see I can see it But I can’t feel it” Reminding me of Offred’s thought process on thinking of Luke (chapter 18). imagining him dead or imprisoned or making it to freedom so if she hears any bad news about him, she will feel nothing.

Throughout the novel The Handmaid’s Tale there have been many themes of memories and how this can affect her present suffering and future. Offred the main character has been shown to be focusing on these happy memories but then relating it back to the present and where she is, what she has, and how this is impacting her emotional state. In chapter 35 she references the feeling of feeling erased and forgotten after seeing a picture of her daughter, that was brought by Serena Joy. The part of this section that resonates with me is the feeling that my birth mother could have gotten a picture of me and felt the same way. She gave up her child and I don’t know much about her. Slowly the thoughts of her have been going away. But the same goes for me. I have one single picture of my birth mother, one memory, one thought. But I know nothing more. The feeling of not knowing whether she remembers me feels bad, not wanting to be forgotten or erased. I want to be remembered for something she used to care about. Offred shared that she knows her daughter knows her mother isn’t there but she has been erased from this narrative. On page 228 she shares, “You can see it in her eyes: I am not there. But she exists, in her white dress. She grows and lives. Isn’t that a good thing? A blessing? Still, I can’t bear it, to have been erased like that. Better she’d brought me nothing.” Offred feels pain after being shown this photo. Clearly she sees her daughter growing up in a world without her in it. I am growing up in a world where I don’t see my birth mother either. She has given me away to some other lady but who I now call my mother.

Offred often speaks about how she wants to go back to how things were back then and how everything was generally better back then. She would wish everyday that when she’d go to bed that she’d wake up in her own house and everything would be back to the way it was. On page 199 she explains, “Every Morning when I go to bed I think, In the morning I will wake up in my own house and things will be back to the way they were.” Having these types of thoughts after some change in your life is not uncommon. I know when I was younger I would wish that things could change quickly. I have been separated from my mom twice when I was younger, not for long but around ten days. I remember missing her so much no matter the situation I was in I wanted to be at home with her. All I felt was sad. I wanted things to go back to how they were before I wasn’t with her then. I understand the feeling of wanting for things to go back to the way they were, especially if life was just really good back then and you were happy. The idea that resonates with me the most is how this is a constant thing everyday where she doesn’t want to be here and she wishes every night that she could just go back.

Throughout the novel of The Handmaid’s Tale there is a circling theme along with memories that speaks about having hope and then going into despair. Finding someone or something to give you hope but then realizing where you are and how life is going in the current moment. Currently she tries to sometimes escape from this world that she is in by going to her memories and past moments in life, which can be happy. To then relive these moments and forget about what is happening now in this new world and society. But then it’s this theme again where she pulls back from these memories and realizes she is back in this world of Gilead and nothing can take her back to this past world. For example again when she sees this picture of her daughter it can bring her back to the moments when she was with her and not in the moment where she is right now. When she lays in bed wishing she was back in her home before Gilead she can go back to the memories thinking about what life was like back then and how she felt when she was there back then. She had a family, a life. Now she is separated from them and can only think of them through the memories. The past memories are now contributing to her current suffering in this new world.

I have portrayed Offred looking in the mirror at Jezebel’s. In my drawing she is looking at herself in the mirror in the room’s bathroom. We don’t see the front of her face in this drawing, we only see what she sees in the mirror. She looks disheveled and pale, and her makeup is running, as she describes in the book. (insert quote). Her hair is all over the place and the lingerie she is wearing is falling off of her shoulders due to how ill fitting it is. I made the bodysuit super sparkly or glittery because Atwood describes the look of it in detail, and Offred mentions what she is wearing a few times throughout the night.

I also made the background of the drawing all blue or white. The blue represents the sadness that Offred feels. That is only my interpretation because her feelings are sometimes unclear in the writing, but when I read I get a general melancholy feeling from our narrator. The emotion might not be sadness, but could be insecurity or longing, which are sad feelings to me.

The items that are dark blue (the washcloth, the soap bar, and the clock) are all items that Offred does not have access to inn Gilead, or at least not clear access. She points out the bar of soap and the washcloth, but she does not say that there is a clock in the bathroom. I added the clock because the commander is waiting outside for her to finish freshening up. Time is also an interesting concept in Gilead. “Time here is measured by bells, as once in nunneries” (8). Even when she is away from Gilead, there is still someone expecting her, someone waiting for her arrival.

I wanted to draw this scene because I think it is one of the most important and unique scenes in the book so far. There are no mirrors in the bathroom in Gilead because they don’t want people to be able to look at themselves, avoiding vanity from anyone. This is the first time that Offred gets a good look at herself since “the time before.” All she can do when she looks in the mirror is see her flaws and imperfections. Her makeup is smudged, her clothes don’t fit right, she’s got stray hairs flying everywhere. Gilead has taught her to cover up her imperfections, and to completely hide them so that she appears as a perfect doll for men to play with.

This idea rings so true to my life and my feminine experience. The patriarchy has somehow drilled into my brain that if I don’t have a button nose, if I don’t have a flat stomach, etc. then I am not good enough, or that lacking those qualities makes me less feminine, or less of a woman. Saying that outright sounds sort of insane, or cliche, but those are real insecurities that I have felt. It doesn’t really matter how much I try to unlearn this way of thinking, it stays with me.

So now put yourself in Offred’s shoes– you are living in a world just like ours, where white men have more privilege than anyone else, and where your mother is protesting every other day to have basic human rights for women. Then suddenly, you are pushed into a world where you cannot own anything of your own, and all you really have is your body, and if it betrays you, you are ostracized and sent to basically be a slave in the Colonies. I would probably be pointing out my flaws too.