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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wgCg02heF6gaSF0qK_FG4wxYK15JFjucBoS0puVMa9g/edit?tab=t.mpvc98udylm7

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In Margaret Atwood’s critically acclaimed novel The Handmaid’s Tale, we see the idea of sanity and what mentality truly is brought up. It made me wonder what Atwood was trying to convey about one’s sanity and how differing situations impact it. As I read back, I felt as if Atwood was trying to tell us that oftentimes reality is the very reason that we lose our minds. I felt the same as Atwood when I was confronted with this. As oftentimes one’s circumstances are the very reason that they lose touch with reality, and not necessarily what is going on with their heads. At the same time, it made me wonder about how your past comes back to haunt you and ruin your current sanity. I felt that this was the perfect way to describe what was happening to Offred throughout the story, and specifically on page 109. I was able to notice this idea immediately when Atwood wrote about the idea of living in a “paranoid delusion.” On page 109, Atwood writes, “After these dreams I do awake, and I know I’m really awake because there is the wreath, on the ceiling, and my curtains hanging like they drowned white hair. I feel drugged. I consider this: maybe they’re drugging me. Maybe the life I think I’m living is a paranoid delusion.” This made me think of how Atwood continuously discussed the ideas of Offred’s dreams and how they make her feel. We see this throughout the entirety of the text, when she’s dreaming about her past with Nick or her friends. Every time she gets one of these dreams, it continues to add to her trauma. She mentions multiple times how her dreams make her distracted from reality, which is often a sign of being mentally ill or losing oneself. I believe that by Atwood adding these details, she keeps showing us readers that Offred is slowly losing her mind due to her current situation and her being unable to do anything about it. As Angel brought up in our discussion with the phrase “Don’t let the bastards grind you down,” was ingrained into Offred’s mind, as if she was trying her hardest to resist her mind being torn down by her current state. Which honestly makes sense to me due to how hard Offred was trying to resist. We can tell she was trying to resist because Atwood discusses how Offred is paranoid, and oftentimes paranoia is a sign that one is trying to gain awareness or control of their situation. It also made me think of Batman, how the villain was always afraid that Batman was watching from the shadows. Offred is constantly afraid that the dreams will get worse and keep haunting her, and also afraid that she will be destroyed by her current situation and lose all her sanity. In fact, in the very next paragraph, Offred talks about her own sanity. Atwood writes, “Not a hope. I know where I am, and who, and what day it is. These are the tests, and I am sane. Sanity is a valuable possession; I hoard it the way people once hoarded money. I save it, so I will have enough, when the time comes.” This was what solidified my belief that Offred was slowly losing her sanity. I feel like she is trying her hardest to just save a little bit for the future when she may need it, or in case she tries to escape. She knows that she is slowly losing it and is only trying to keep the bare minimum. She says, “So I will have enough, when the time comes.” Which tells us that she just wants enough, not anything more and not anything less than what she needs. It really shows how desperate Offred is to maintain a part of herself and not let Gilead fully take her over. I think that it really shows the desperation and willpower of someone who is trying their best just to survive. I feel like Offred’s main reason for her strength is just to try to survive and live another day. I also believe that she has some ounce of hope that she will one day be able to escape, which is why she is trying to maintain her sanity. I feel as if Atwood is trying to convey the true depth of one’s mind and how humans have a tendency to try to save at least a shred of themselves, even when they are slowly losing it all. For me, the thing about this section that stood out the most was the line “Sanity is a valuable possession.” It made me wonder how valuable sanity truly could be in a world where you must abide by a strict set of rules and do not truly have any rights of your own. I believe that Atwood is trying to show us that no matter what, you must always maintain at least a shred of dignity, at least a shred of yourself. No matter what situation you have to go through. So in the end, it truly makes me wonder, what is peace of mind? How can we achieve it? Will our minds ever know peace?

When does choice become completely yours? Can you say you’re uninfluenced from any contributing outside factors? Are you completely in control of your actions by the time you’re fourteen? As I’ve traversed through seventeen years of living and now in high school, reading The Handmaid’s Tale, I’ve started to realize that this belief I’ve held is untrue. When I think back to the past, my memories and things that I’ve done, it feels as if they were an out of body experience. In the story The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred often talks about how in the past, before Gilead, she was able to use her body like an "instrument" and that her body was “nevertheless lithe, single, solid, one with me.” (Page 73) 

Specifically, she used her body to perform actions that she thought of doing rather than letting someone tell or force her to do. She thinks of her body as “one with herself,” where every action is equal in the reaction in her mind. Now, being forced to live in the Republic of Gilead, she talks about her body as if she is just a puppet in the hands of a puppeteer. She is forced to use her body, influenced by the control of others such as the Aunts, Commander, and society of Gilead to reproduce children, and follow orders such as household chores. “I’m a cloud, congealed around a central object, the shape of a pear, which is hard and more real than I am.” (Page 73-74) As she thinks of her present life and her actions, she identifies that she is nothing but someone who is meant to serve a purpose for the “central object” who she believes is “hard and more real” than she gives, giving us insight that she feels her own body is less tangible, “congealed,” than the person she’s using it for. As I read this part in the book, I realized that in my first years of high school, thinking back to school projects, work that I’ve done, and the things I participated in; I did them without purpose or in particular my brain’s consent on the action. I played sports because I figured it was something I needed to do to stay active and something that everyone else was doing in school. The school projects and papers I turned in were more of an interpretation and repetition of my classmates’ ideas. I wore clothes that now I would find uncomfortable and ugly simply because I wanted to fit in and everyone else was doing it. I, like Offred, was a cloud congealed around the lives of the SLA community and using my body to conform to the life of what society thought I should be living rather than have control on what I wanted to do and why. This senior year, I’ve been named the captain of the co-ed cross country team. Through this position, I’ve found what it means to be passionate about something and in turn, using my body, one with my own self, to put that passion towards leading. Specifically, I choose to go to every practice including asynchronous practice, because I choose and want to get better and stay consistent rather than going just to go. I’ve learned to appreciate the art of connection and networking with people through cross country as I’m always ready and excited to chat with my manager, teammates, and coaches I meet on the plateau. I reflect and thoroughly explore the texts I’m reading in class, taking notes and searching for thematic topics and deeper meanings versus the surface level reading that I was doing in freshman and sophomore year. Instead of reiterating the thoughts and discussions of my classmates, I bring forth new and original ideas that I’ve found myself onto papers, essays, and projects that I’m actually passionate about and enjoy speaking on. I’ve started contributing my spare time to the community as I’ve realized through the fun of participating in clubs, sports, and chatting, that I have a passion for wanting to help out those who need help. I use my body, one within my own, to help out my local animal shelter; assisting with enrichment for cats, petting them, feeding them, and playing with them. Now I know and use my body as my own and something I can utilize to go towards things I have recently found a deep purpose for. Whether that is to continue my career in the sport I love, reading literature materials and taking notes on how, just like the Handmaid’s Tale, these texts can have an influence on my life and thoughts, and contribute to my community.

In the novel, The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood, I was intrigued by the stark difference between the past and present societal laws and gender roles as Offred reflects on her memories while shopping on page 24. She recalls, “Women were not protected then” (24). I found myself agreeing with this statement. Offred’s past is similar to our present. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there can be so much more the government can do to protect its citizens. In a class discussion on gender roles, Ada wrote, “I was sixteen, and I was trapped between him and the wall.” Even as children, women are subjected to sexual harassment, and they are forced to endure it because society has normalized such behavior silently. In today’s world, society suffers from the bystander effect because it doesn’t harm others if they don’t stand up.

Instead, the responsibility is pushed onto the victim. As Offred mentioned, “I remember the rules, rules that were never spelled out but that every woman knew” (24). Then she goes on to list rules that women must follow to keep themselves safe, some of which sound like basic rights, such as “Don’t go into a laundromat, by yourself, at night” (24). This moment made me pause and think about the podcasts of men talking about rape and blaming it on the victim for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, it really shouldn’t be that way; people shouldn’t have to worry about the time of day or location, unless it’s about to rain.

The rule, “keep the locks on and keep going” (24), resonated with me. I remember one day, late on the MFL, this guy in a shaggy black shirt came in on 15th street. He was high and had a knife. Throughout the entire ride, he banged on the back of the chair with the knife. Most of the time, these behaviors are out of our control, and we just have to stay away and keep moving in the opposite direction. Similarly, Aunt Lydia mentioned that in the past, people had the “freedom to” (24). In America, people are given the freedom of expression, which is great. However, there have to be limits on freedom of expression set by the government and acknowledged by the people, which don’t exist. This leads to the normalization of certain negative behaviors and arguments that certain acts of harassment are actually a form of freedom of expression. In today’s society, people are given the freedom to harm others and not be penalized for it.

On the other hand, Gilead has “freedom from” (24), which I feel ambivalent about. On the one hand, there are government regulations that prevent and punish sexual harassment. In the text, Offred states, “Now we walk along the same street, in red pairs, and no man shouts obscenities at us” (24). This system protects women from situations that we see today. They can go outside without the fear that a man will shout at them or harass them. However, this new system works by controlling and oppressing people through fear. This can be seen with the dead bodies hanging from the wall. Offred describes the bodies, “The two others have purple placards hung around their necks: Gender Treachery” (43). By hanging the bodies in public, the government is warning the citizens that they would end up dead if they tried gender treachery or even interacting with the opposite gender. To further discourage the interaction of men and women, the government assigns them gender roles. The women reproduce, cook, buy groceries, and if you were the commander’s wife, you would manage all the female servants. The men worked as guardians, angels, and the commander, who is a man, is in charge of them.

Instead of allowing their citizens to choose their partners, civil roles are assigned to males and females, such as the handmaid and the commander. The role of the handmaid is to have the commander’s and his wife’s baby, nothing more. However, even in a society oppressed of romance and love, there are still “flowering of secret lusts” (136) that happen in the shadows. In a society that is void of love, people start to crave it, as shown by these two examples. The first is when Offred realizes, “It’s lack of love we die from. There’s nobody here I can love, all the people I could love are dead or elsewhere” (103). I find this statement true; everyone needs a sense of love and belonging. It’s a major part of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. In Offred’s case, love and intimacy are taken away from the process of reproduction. There is no emotional bond between her and the commander, and everything is taken as a job. To everyone around her, she is just a “national resource” (65). We can better see this in the second example, after the Commander receives a kiss from Offred. He says, “As if you meant it” (140). He also craved intimacy and love, which he couldn’t achieve in a society that prevents people from forming relationships. He tries in secret with Offred; however, she isn’t allowed to show intimacy, as it’s illegal.

The final line, when Aunt Lydia says, “Don’t underrate it” (24), puzzled me. How can someone support a society that strips away all human needs and rights in exchange for freedom from sexual harassment? In certain ways, Gilead is better than the past. Women are protected in public. However, they are protected as objects for reproduction, not as people. There is a trade-off between safety and freedom that is shown in this section of the text, which, Atwood warns us that if not balanced properly, can lead to societies like Gilead or a worse version of our society.

Confronting The Wall

College English Ms. Pahomov Beau Riviere September 29, 2025

Six chapters into the Handmaids Tale I encountered one scene that made me take a new look and perspective on how humans are intrigued by different sightings. When I read the scene where Offred first describes The Wall and what she was seeing I was in disbelief. 

    She described such a horrific and gruesome image that they were looking at. When she describes it as “there are six more bodies hanging, by the necks, their hands tied in front of them, their heads in white bags tipped sideways onto their shoulders”(32). The detail Offred goes into on how their bodies are positioned after execution is very graphic and gruesome for one to imagine by just reading a book let alone actually seeing this happen right in front of you.

    Then she says “We stop, together as if on signal, and stand and look at the bodies. It doesn’t matter if we look. We’re supposed to look: this is what they are there for”(32). Offred describing how dragged in they got by this scene and how they starred and looked at it made it seem as if it were something impressive to look at, but there was nothing impressive or good about this scene displayed before them to look at. This scene before them was horrendous and I think that's exactly why they were so dragged in to look. 

    As humans when we see something in life that we may think is difficult to view or watch we tend to look at it more and become more intrigued by it. I think this scene is a perfect example of that because just reading this book I got intrigued by a scene that was so graphic and I know I wouldn't want to see it in real life but here I am writing about it because while it is horrifying it is also gravitating and I think Gilead uses this to their advantage.  

    Gilead wants to use these executions and bodies in public as a way to scare the people of Gilead into behaving well and complying with their rules. They want everyone to know that if they get rid of babies or the chance to have a baby that they will be killed and killed in public for everyone to see. 

    Now another way Gilead could go about enforcing the rules about abortion is by giving jail time to people to break them but they know that wouldn't have the impact that execution has. When people go to jail and serve time it's not difficult for people on the outside to see that and accept that and it wouldn't scare them into behaving well and complying with them.  On the other hand, execution leaves a mark that makes it so people can't get it out of their heads and they can't quite get enough of it to stop looking. So by having a punishment that people can't stop looking at and consuming it leaves a print of fear and understanding of consequence in their heads. 

    Offred says “They have committed atrocities and must be made into examples, for the rest”(33).  This quote shows that executions make these men good examples for the rest of what  not to do. When the people of Gilead stare at them, and they will, they get this idea that becomes imprinted in their brains that if they ever try to break the rules and orders of the society that they will pay the ultimate price with their lives.  

    Another thing that execution does in favor of Gilead waiting control is it almost brainwashes the people in society into thinking the way that the government thinks. By showing such gruesome consequences for actions done by these doctors it creates a connection between abortion and terrible consequences for the onlooker to have to the point where the person who keeps looking at The Wall will eventually get the idea that if you are in favor of or have the idea of having an abortion you are thinking the wrong way and committing a terrible act.  This helps Gilead get the people under their control to start to think the way they do which will allow them to not have as much resistance from the citizens. 

    Overall the scene in Chapter 6 where Offred talks about her observing the wall provided me with a new and intriguing view on how big groups of power use violence to persuade and convey the people they are looking to control.

Confronting The Wall

College English Ms. Pahomov Beau Riviere September 29, 2025

Six chapters into the Handmaids Tale I encountered one scene that made me take a new look and perspective on how humans are intrigued by different sightings. When I read the scene where Offred first describes The Wall and what she was seeing I was in disbelief. 

    She described such a horrific and gruesome image that they were looking at. When she describes it as “there are six more bodies hanging, by the necks, their hands tied in front of them, their heads in white bags tipped sideways onto their shoulders”(32). The detail Offred goes into on how their bodies are positioned after execution is very graphic and gruesome for one to imagine by just reading a book let alone actually seeing this happen right in front of you.

    Then she says “We stop, together as if on signal, and stand and look at the bodies. It doesn’t matter if we look. We’re supposed to look: this is what they are there for”(32). Offred describing how dragged in they got by this scene and how they starred and looked at it made it seem as if it were something impressive to look at, but there was nothing impressive or good about this scene displayed before them to look at. This scene before them was horrendous and I think that's exactly why they were so dragged in to look. 

    As humans when we see something in life that we may think is difficult to view or watch we tend to look at it more and become more intrigued by it. I think this scene is a perfect example of that because just reading this book I got intrigued by a scene that was so graphic and I know I wouldn't want to see it in real life but here I am writing about it because while it is horrifying it is also gravitating and I think Gilead uses this to their advantage.  

    Gilead wants to use these executions and bodies in public as a way to scare the people of Gilead into behaving well and complying with their rules. They want everyone to know that if they get rid of babies or the chance to have a baby that they will be killed and killed in public for everyone to see. 

    Now another way Gilead could go about enforcing the rules about abortion is by giving jail time to people to break them but they know that wouldn't have the impact that execution has. When people go to jail and serve time it's not difficult for people on the outside to see that and accept that and it wouldn't scare them into behaving well and complying with them.  On the other hand, execution leaves a mark that makes it so people can't get it out of their heads and they can't quite get enough of it to stop looking. So by having a punishment that people can't stop looking at and consuming it leaves a print of fear and understanding of consequence in their heads. 

    Offred says “They have committed atrocities and must be made into examples, for the rest”(33).  This quote shows that executions make these men good examples for the rest of what  not to do. When the people of Gilead stare at them, and they will, they get this idea that becomes imprinted in their brains that if they ever try to break the rules and orders of the society that they will pay the ultimate price with their lives.  

    Another thing that execution does in favor of Gilead waiting control is it almost brainwashes the people in society into thinking the way that the government thinks. By showing such gruesome consequences for actions done by these doctors it creates a connection between abortion and terrible consequences for the onlooker to have to the point where the person who keeps looking at The Wall will eventually get the idea that if you are in favor of or have the idea of having an abortion you are thinking the wrong way and committing a terrible act.  This helps Gilead get the people under their control to start to think the way they do which will allow them to not have as much resistance from the citizens. 

    Overall the scene in Chapter 6 where Offred talks about her observing the wall provided me with a new and intriguing view on how big groups of power use violence to persuade and convey the people they are looking to control.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wUzGu88L9mIEok3UZmrkyEzIlLxPQfVTtyyhkeMIG2g/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13hiy-VlgHfjQeOv4rrs7omdihd_sCficmtTmhNiW9_Y/edit?usp=sharing

On her way to Offwarren’s birth, Offred is speculating about the conversations that happen between the commander’s wives when the handmaids leave the room. She imagines how they praise and patronize Offwarren when she’s present, feeding her treats and complimenting her physique, but as soon as she is dismissed, their demeanor switches. They call all handmaids whores, and complain about how dirty and disobedient they are. “You take what they hand out, right girls?,” Offred imagines her commander’s wife saying. She imagines Offwarren as well, up in her room; “what does she do? Sits with the taste of sugar still in her mouth, licking her lips. Stares out the window. […] Thinks of nothing.” Offred can play out this whole series of events in great detail, even noting who says what, but this conversation would happen at Offwarren’s house, when no handmaids are present, so how would she have actual proof that a conversation like this would happen? I think this is an example of Offred being a narrator that we should question, and I think this was the author’s intention when Offwarren reassured the reader that she “knows the sort of thing that goes on,” with no further explanation of how she knows.

As she said on page 47, “In this house, we all envy each other.” It seems to me that these personalities and conversations that she makes up for the Commander’s Wives and for Offwarren are a manifestation of her own jealousy. The Commander’s Wives have the freedom to do something she is deprived of; gossip. Perhaps imagining the Commander’s Wives as two faced makes her feel better or righteous about her own isolation. And to imagine Offwarren as absent-minded and complacent, like she’s just a vessel (the “perfect” handmaiden) yet still seen as “less-than” by the Commander’s Wives makes Offred feel less bothered by Serena Joy’s dislike of her.

This scene resonates with me because it highlights how people often fill gaps in knowledge with their own fears and desires. Offred’s narrative is not just a recounting of events, but a window into her mental landscape. Just as Offred imagines the wives’ duplicity and Offwarren’s emptiness, I have found myself imagining the motivations and feelings of others in moments of uncertainty, sometimes projecting my own emotions onto them to make sense of my experience. In this way, Offred’s narration reminds us that stories are not always objective truths, but are often influenced by the narrator’s perspective and emotions.

The word consent has two different types of meaning in my opinion. The first one being willing consent, this consent is more about “yes I want to do this” opposed to pressured consent where you said yes but you really don’t want to.

Offred feels the pressure to complete “her duty” even if it’s something she doesn’t want to do. Very clearly she doesn’t want to do this intimidate act with the commander but she agrees because she feels she has to. In modern times I see pressured consent around parties/rivs, drinking and smoking, we know this as peer pressure. 

“This was supposed to signify that we are one in flesh, one being. What it really means is that she is in control, of the process and thus the product.” (94)

[ This was supposed to signify that I was cool, an outgoing person. What it really means is that I need to been seen as cool, not only to myself, but also my peers.]

Offred’s hope for this to mean something different than it is, shows loss of control and meaning in what she’s pressured to do. I feel this when I go to the riv. I want to feel as cool as the people around me, it supposed to be a turning point in my character where I could be seen as enthusiastic and confident, but in reality I felt out of place and left behind. I see this a lot in kids I talk to about these parties, they say it’s not really fun but there go because all the “cool” people go and have fun, so why shouldn’t they?

”Maybe I’m crazy and this is some new kind of therapy. I wish it were true; then I could get better and this would go away.” (94) [ Maybe I’m boring and this is some new way to unlock something in me. I wish it was true; then I could actually have fun and enjoy my time.]

Offred’s coping mechanism is normalizing what’s happening to her even though it’s not normal nor morally right. My sophomore year I was asked every time if I was going to the riv and I had to say no, every single time. I had a really bad case of fomo (Fear of Missing Out). So come my junior when my parents let me go, I was ecstatic, imagining all the people I would talk to and all the features I would get on people’s story. When I got there I found myself standing in a corner to myself overwhelmed with the situation. I wasn’t feeling ecstatic liked I hoped, people weren’t taking pictures with me liked I hoped. So I convinced myself that this was an normal experience and that I would warm up to this feeling and I’m just acting crazy. I kept going to rivs praying with each one it would change so that I could actually enjoy my time.

”Kissing is forbidden between us. This makes it bearable.” (95) [ Atleast not everyone is crazy drunk or high. This make it bearable.]

Offred very clear is not enjoying this experience so she notes things to herself to make it seem like it could be worse than it actually is, in order to make herself more comfortable. I walked around these rivs looking for someone who wasn’t black out drunk to hangout with and I found maybe two people max, but even them couldn’t stick around, they had something else to accomplish. But atleast 15 minutes of this night was comfortable. I realized that the point of rivs wasn’t for talking and hangout with some alcohol, it was about getting drunk as fast as possible and finding a person to flirt with.

”There is a loathing in her voice, as if the touch of my flesh sickens and contaminates her.” (95) [ There is an inarticulate tone in her voice, as if the feeling of alcohol consumes and overpowers her.]

Offred feels a sense of disgust from the commander’s wife but it stems from her own insecurity of the intimate act she just did. My friend came up to me, she was slurring her speech and speaking in a really high pitched voice, laughing at everything a boy said. This is a side I never saw of her, it wasn’t who she was. She was independent and a man hater but something about this party culture and alcohol switch something off in her. I thought, how embarrassing and pathetic it seemed. As the night moved on I found myself doing that exact same thing and suddenly here I was feeling embarrassed and pathetic.

Through examining Offred’s experience in The Handmaid’s Tale alongside the pressures of modern party culture, it becomes clear that consent exists on a spectrum far more complex than a simple yes or no. Both Offred and countless young people today find themselves saying “yes” to situations they fundamentally don’t want to participate in, driven by social expectations, fear of exclusion, or the desperate hope that compliance will eventually lead to genuine enjoyment or acceptance. The parallel between Offred’s rationalization of her traumatic experiences and the way I convince myself that uncomfortable party situations are “normal” reveals how pressured consent operates across different contexts and time periods. The underlying dynamic remains the same: when choice is constrained by social pressure, fear, or the desire for belonging, true consent becomes impossible. Understanding this distinction between willing and pressured consent is crucial for recognizing these patterns in our own lives and creating spaces where genuine choice can exist.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1x37jcfJV0lQGBQnWsIk0gTIUZB2d2CpQy1xohPSnVYk/edit?usp=sharing

While reading “The Handmaid’s Tale” By Margaret Atwood I was able to pinpoint my own emotions that aligned with the protagonist Offred throughout the pages 50, 51, and 52. This small section includes Offred’s space and the thoughts that live there alongside her. She speaks about taking the time and appreciating her room. She is left with a lot of responsibility but even more time. So when she can finally call her room, hers she takes the chance to analyze each corner, and crack in the wall. “There has to be some space, finally, that I claim as mine, even in this time” (50). Offred has finally accepted her room as hers, not just a room. I feel myself through this moment as I am very particular about my space. My room represents me in every which way, and I wouldn’t be able to call in mine unless I truly felt I belonged. I moved from my childhood room to my older brother’s when he went to college. I had a new space and wasn’t sure how to fill it in a way that would make it feel like mine. Over the years I have hung new items from the walls, ceilings, bookshelves, etc. I live under a canopy of pictures, paintings, postcards, and polaroid pictures. All of which make my space, mine. Offred speaks about hotel rooms, the freedom and experience that comes with them and how she regrets not being able to appreciate those moments now. “How I wasted them, those rooms, that freedom from being seen.” (50). There are many moments in my life I look back on and know I will never get to experience again. Like the freedom of being a child, only worrying about my next playdate and what my dad packed in my lunch. I crave the lack of responsibility I had and there are times I wish I could go back to experience that freedom all over again with more appreciation. This feeling is frustrating and when it comes along there isn’t much to do. Offred’s life was taken from her so suddenly, all of her norms disappeared and the freedom she had was ripped from her. Looking back on all she had, she wishes she could go back just to experience it again, with much more gratitude. It’s hard to really acknowledge that the moments we live through are crucial until we eventually know we will never be able to live those memories again. Nostalgia is a very powerful feeling, it’s connected to what we once knew and comes suddenly creating an overwhelming sense of happiness, sadness, grief, and appreciation. It’s something you can find while sitting on the train not giving your mind any boundaries to reminisce, or through smelling the perfume of your preschool teacher on a stranger, or through finding a song you played on repeat during a rough time in your life while your playlist is on shuffle. Offred is left with heaps of time with only memories to keep her entertained, she describes the feeling of nostalgia when thinking about her husband Luke. “I have them, these attacks of the past, like faintness, a wave sweeping over my head” (52). This is what nostalgia feels like to me. Missing something I once had, reminiscing, remembering. The physical emotion makes you want to put a hand over your chest and rest your eyes, feel the moment all over again. While exploring the closet in her small room, Offred finds a message engraved into the hardwood floor. It reads in a language she doesn’t understand, but the pure fact it was there in the first place sent hope coursing through her. “It was intended for whoever came next” (52). Offred believes that this very note was a sign, had a purpose, and was meant to be seen by someone like her. This little bit of hope helps her stay positive. Similarly, I look for things that are small specs of hope in my life. Little signs from the universe. Most likely they are coincidences, chance, or won’t affect me at all. But locking eyes with my lucky number gives me a small pang of comfort. Sometimes it’s nice to take things as a sign, see a message and make it for you. Apply it to your life and give yourself an inside joke.
` There are many ways I could connect to this book, but through this section, going through her thought process I could see myself in the pages. I think in a very similar way and I feel even in this small section where the reader walks through not only Offred’s space but also her mind makes it easy to connect with this part of the character.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SpnItcEEcYvHjFx9XhOjTe9AL4AW-ZO3eWJpO30nvXI/edit?tab=t.0

            Consent in a world of control and power:

College English

Ms. Pahomov

Rayhane Boukhalfa

September 29th 2025

One of the most striking aspects of The Handmaid’s Tale is Offred’s longing for affection in a world that denies her even the smallest forms of intimacy. What resonated with me deeply is that her desire for affection and touch isn’t necessarily related to romance and passion, but about human connection. As she reflects, “I hunger to touch something, other than cloth or wood. I hunger to commit the act of touch,” p(11). Living under Gilead’s society, she is reduced to her role, which strips away her individuality, her freedom, and her need to be loved, touched, or seen as a person.

This longing that she tried to hold under control started before she even realised it, then she found herself wanting it from whoever could give it to her, and it is clear in her relationship with the commander. When he invites her into his study, it feels like a break from the strict roles they are forced to perform. Offred convices herself that “I’ve crossed no boundaries, I’ve given no trust, taken no risk, all is safe.” p(61), as if she is protecting herself from the reality of what is happening. And maybe that relaxed atmosphere was what led him to ask for a kiss and what led her to say yes, or was it fear for her, fear of something bad happening to her, and what she accomplished, or what could be accomplished in a system as wrecked as this one for women. But this kiss is as complicated as it can be; she yearns for the kind of intimacy, affection, and tenderness that a kiss could represent. The kiss is framed as a request as a choice, but in reality, the commander’s power makes it impossible for her to say no, makes it impossible to see his motives. As Offred says: “I could get the sharp lever out and hide it in my sleeve, and smuggle it into the commander’s study, the next time, because after a request like that there’s always a next time whether you say yes or no.” p(139). Even moments of supposed choice are undercut by the certainty that refusal is never truly an option.

This scene shows how Scrabble, a memory of the past, made things go differently, made the commander want things he didn’t want before, or didn’t show his desire for. This scrabble scene and the scene from the ceremony show two sides of the same relationship, two sides of the same feelings and thoughts. It shows how both scenes have an allusion of consent in different levels, in the ceremony she had no choice but was given one, in the office she was given a request but didn’t have a choice, but the difference was also in her wanting the attention and touch from someone anybody, and it may just have been convenient for her in the threshold of that office, when in some way she wasn’t forced, and that made her feel like she’s making her own decissions, and she’s in control in some way. During the ceremony, Offred tells herself, “Nothing is going on here that I haven’t signed up for. There wasn’t a lot of choice but there was some, and this is what I chose.” p(94). She tries to see her compliance as a choice, but in truth, she had no real freedom, but an illusion of it. She also tries to remind herself, “This is serious business. The commander, too is doing his duty.” p(95).

This shows more and more how complex consent can be; it’s a reminder of real life, when you go along with something because it seems easier than saying no, even if you have to make it an obligation, even if it affects you. Offred’s experience magnifies that feeling by showing what it looks like in a worst society, a society where women’s autonomy has been completely erased. As Aunt Lydia preached, “There is more than one kind of freedom, said Aunt Lydia. Freedom to and freedom from. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to. Now you are being given freedom from. Don’t underrate it.” p(24). This so-called “freedom from” is really just a mask for control, one that erases women’s ability to protect themselves, their bodies, and their minds,

Her yearning for love and affection, and the past, show how her mental health was affected and shaped. On one hand, she feels drawn to the commander or the idea of what he could give her that she yearns for; on the other hand, she doesn’t want him, but wants someone else.. In the end, I see that consent can shape who you are and how you feel, it can shape your mental health, and it can reflect on how fragile it can be when power imbalances are present, so that you can’t even protect yourself and your mental state by setting boundaries for what you can handle and what you can’t.

In Margaret Atwoods’s The Handmaid’s Tale, the first twenty chapters introduce readers to the rigid, suffocating world of Gilead, a theocracy that polices women’s bodies,identities and memories. Offread, the narrator, survives by holding onto language, memory and humor. Even though music isn’t shown from Gilead’s official culture, I wanted to put together a Kendrick Lamar playlist to represent Gilead. Kendrick is like Gilead because they both show oppression, survival, and identity just like The Handmaid’s own experiences. Five Songs that really stick out to me are “Alright”, “DNA”,” “The Blacker the Berry”, “HUMBLE” and “Swimming Pools(Drank). It serves as an echo of Offred’s voice, showing how her inner resistance grows against the attempts to silence her.

When Offred discovers the Latin phrase that was scratched into the wall (Nolite te bastardes carborundorum) she sees it as a lifeline. She admits, “It pleases me to ponder this message. It pleases me to think I am communicating with her, this unknown woman”(Page 52). The phrase becomes a way of asserting that she can survive even in secrecy. Kendrick Lamar’s “Alright” echoes this mood of hope. In the song he repeatedly says “We gon be alright.” Like Offred, it is a line that offers survival against all odds, not by denying any struggles or hardships but by naming it and pushing forward anyway. Both the song and the line scratched in the line shows despair through a rhythm and repetition, a beat, a phrase, and sign of persistence.

One of Gilead’s most cruel tactics is stripping women of their names and replacing them with nicknames (like Offred). Yet Offred insists on remembering who she once was: a mother, a wife, a friend. She recalls her daughter’s smile, her friend Moria’s daring and every small detail of her old life.” I would like to believe this is a story I’m telling. I need to believe it. I must believe it. Those who can believe that such stories are only stories have a better chance”(Page 39). Kendrick Lamar’s DNA shows identity that can’t be erased. “I got loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA.” The lyrics show that no matter what the outside attempts to define or confine him, For Offred, her memories function as her DNA Gilead can rename her, but not memories of her past, her Luke, her Maria or her daughter can’t be erased. In both the novel and song, the inner theme is Identity.

In Chapter 13, the Handlaids attend a grotesque “Testifying” where a woman named Janine is forced to recount being gang-raped. Instead of sympathy, Aunt Lynda instructs the Handmaids to chant “Her Fault, her fault,her fault”(Page 72). This moment symbolizes the system’s cruelty and how women are dehumanized and reduced to their sexual functions. Kendrick Lamar’s “The Blacker the Berry” voices raw anger at systematic oppression. “You hate me, don’t you? You have my people, your plan is to terminate my culture.9 The intensity of the song resonates with the Handmaids reality. Just as Kendrick Lamar exposes the hypocrisy of a society that blames and punishes marginalized people for their suffering, Atwood shows a regime where women are blamed for the violence committed against them. Both works demand recognition of systematic brutality.

“Blessed are the meek,” Aunt Lyndua tells the handmaids,twisting scripture into a weapon(Page 33) Offred notes that the incompleteness of the command “she didn’t say anything about inheriting the earth.” Meekness in Gilead is not voluntary; it is enforced through punishment,surveillance, and ritual. Kendrick Lamar’s “HUMBLE” becomes ironic in this setting. The song “Sit down, be humble” mirrors the way Gilead insists on silencing women. While Kendrick uses it as a provocation, in Gilead, in Gilead the phrase becomes a demand for total submission. Read against Aunt Lyndua’s sermons, the track underscores the performance of humility that the Handmaids are forced to embody.

Offred normally retreats into her memories of life before Gilead, even when they pain her. When she recalls Luke or her daughter, she admits, “When I think about having sex with Luke, I remember feeling, not love so much as relief”(Page 68). These mental escapes are her form of intoxication: they show the constant terror of her present. Kendrick Lamar’s “Swimming Pools(Drank)” explores the temptation of drowning one’s pain in alcohol: “Why you babysitting only two or three shots? Ima show you how to turn it up a notch.” While Offred has no actual alcohol, her imagination and memory function as her coping mechanism, her drink. Like Kendrick, she recognizes both the relief and danger of this form of escape

Together, both Kendrick Lamar and The handmaid’s tail remind us that even in the darkest systems, rhythms and resistance endure, there are always survival ways and survival strategies.

Kendrick Lamar Songs Names Alright DNA. HUMBLE. Swimming Pools (Drank) The Blacker the Berry

Nell Hornsby
Ms. Pahomov
College English
September 26, 2025

In my artwork, I portray the tourism scene from Chapter 5 of The Handmaid’s Tale. I chose this scene from the book because it stuck out to me as one really formative moment in the reader’s understanding of the story. This scene is one of the few times we see people within Gilead interacting with people outside, and it gives us more context on this society and its relation to our world. It’s also a self-reflective moment for Offred as she realizes how much she’s changed while being here. I remember feeling engaged in the class discussion and excited to dig deeper into my interpretation of this moment, which is why I chose it for my first Lit Log.

One of the first elements I knew I wanted to include in my artwork was the portrayal of the Handmaids as animals in a cage. During our discussion on chapters 5-7, it was mentioned that there was “a curiosity, like a zoo” between the narrator and the tourists. I really clung to this idea as I was drafting out this project because I thought there were some really interesting elements to it. First, I think the society of Gilead makes it easy to compare the Handmaids to animals in a zoo. They have little to no choice, but are fed and exercised, and, in this scene, are on display for the tourists, similar to zoo animals. Second, there is a really big theme around the “protection” of the Handmaid’s body. The Aunts tell the Handmaids early on that, “What you must be, girls, is impenetrable.” (28). They wear large cloaks and wings covering their faces to restrict the contact they can have with other people. The idea of the Handmaids being caged in these ways can deepen the simile of zoo-like curiosity in this scene.

There was a lot of thought that went into choosing which animal I wanted the Handmaids to be in my drawing. In the end, I chose to portray them as parrots because while parrots have the ability to talk, they can only repeat things that they hear. This was inspired by the end of Chapter 5, when the tourists ask Offred and her walking partner if they are happy. Offred knows she has to respond because saying nothing is dangerous, but there seems to be only a few acceptable things that she can say. She is equally as scared to say the wrong thing as she is to say nothing at all. Her response is “Yes, we are very happy,” and the chapter ends with the line, “I have to say something. What else can I say?” (29). Both Offred and the parrots have a limited vocabulary that is influenced by what their higher-ups tell them.

There are some other smaller elements to my artwork, like the “revealing” clothing the tourists wear, the shiny hair that the narrator describes, the camera, and–even though it’s not directly in this scene–I added a Martha cleaning the Handmaid’s cage to represent their dynamic throughout the book. The final thing I wanted to emphasize in my reflection, though, was the eye. The idea of the Eye comes up many times throughout The Handmaid’s Tale, but it has an important role in the tourism scene when Offred thinks, “I know better than to look the interpreter in the face. Most of the interpreters are Eyes, or so it’s said.” (28). This serves as a reminder to both the narrator and the reader that in Gilead, they are always being watched. Every word has to be calculated, and a wrong move can be dangerous. By putting a big focus on the eye, I want to remind the viewer of the pressure of this situation.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fmJXuu8rD6Dqs-dnxEx934uersouhuUE6MhYTKTKRD8/edit?usp=sharing

Lit Log #1 - Close Reading - Confiscated Identity

I.

In chapter 6, on page 32 of The Handmaid’s Tale, the narrator, Offred, describes a scene where there are six corpses being displayed on “the Wall”. It’s quite unsettling how casually she speaks of their deaths and the way in which she describes the corpses, especially their heads. Offred could even be considered unfazed by a sight which would leave the average person fearful, shocked, and appalled. Her thoughts immediately travel beyond the expected fearfulness to analyze the purpose of these corpses and their presentations.

“Though if you look and look, as we are doing, you can see the outlines of the features under the white cloth, like gray shadows” (32).

Her lack of reaction makes the scene more scary than if she had screamed and ran because it shows the reader that this is a normal occurrence in Gilead.

II.

Not only are Offred’s feelings toward the scene strange, but her descriptions of it even more so. It was interesting that she describes the obfuscation of the corpses’ faces in multiple different ways, as if to place emphasis on their anonymity.

She describes them as “dolls on which the faces have not yet been painted”, “as if their heads are sacks, stuffed with some undifferentiated material, like flour or dough”, “the heads are zeros”, “are the heads of snowmen…The heads are melting” (32).

Through these descriptors, Offred repeatedly highlights the unimportance of these heads and the people they belong to. Dolls, which are left to the control of others; flour and dough, powdery and easily spilled; zeros, nothingness and lack of value; and snowmen, temporary.

III.

A similar scene is presented at the start of chapter 8, on page 43: “There are three new bodies on the Wall. One is a priest, still wearing the black cassock…The two others have purple placards hung around their necks: Gender Treachery. Their bodies still wear the Guardian uniforms” (43).

Through these two scenes, it’s clear that the government uses this wall as a way to set an example for anyone who may harbor any ideas that don’t go along with Gilead’s expectations. Offred herself admits that “they [the bodies] are meant to scare” (32). It’s important that Offred also notes the outfits worn by each of the corpses. The six corpses on page 32 wear white coats, each with “a placard hung around his neck to show why he has been executed: a drawing of a human fetus” (32). The three mentioned on page 43 wear a black cassock and Guardian uniforms. This shows that the bodies are stripped of their identities and reduced only to their societal role. It shows that Gilead as a whole does not value anyone, even those that might have been considered on their own side. The doctors, because they had performed abortions in the past and therefore did not fit the ideals of the regime. The priests, who, though are Christian, still are not spared. The Guardians, an important role in the enforcement of Gilead’s policies, executed for being gay.

These two scenes together symbolise the fear that everyone in Gilead lives under, whether that be Handmaids, Guardians, or even Commanders. It’s an attempt to make everyone afraid because anyone, regardless of position, can and will be subjected to the ire of the government.

“They have committed atrocities and must be made into examples, for the rest” (33).

IV.

The entirety of The Handmaid’s Tale is from the first-person perspective of Offred, and her nonchalance in this scene on page 32 shows just how quickly someone’s thinking can be altered. It’s clear throughout the story that Gilead is a fairly new government. Offred remembers various scenes from both her childhood and adulthood that occurred before the establishment of Gilead. That means comparatively, Gilead is only a small fraction of the life she has led thus far. Yet the perspective of the story allows us to see that even though Offred tries to keep her mind separate from her physical situation, Gilead’s ideology has managed to seep into her thoughts. She’s been robbed of the way she thinks.

When she suspects the Handmaid alongside her in this scene to be crying at the sight of the six corpses, she thinks, “In what way could it make her look good? I can’t afford to know” (33). Whereas we might find it normal or even expected that someone would cry or otherwise show distress at such a public display of violence, Offred’s first thought is that the other Handmaid’s tears are an act. To her, there’s no way that the other Handmaid could just genuinely feel sad over these deaths; she must have an ulterior motive. This is a result of Gilead influencing her thoughts. Even though Gilead has not existed for long, it has already drastically altered her way of life and penetrated the privacy of her own mind, which is perhaps more frightening than the actual policies they put in place because you might not even realize when you become one of them.

“This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary” (33).

V.

Throughout the text, there is a theme of the loss of identity. Identity is obviously an integral part of the human experience, and Offred is consistently denied an identity. All the Handmaids are. They are not allowed to keep the names that make them unique, but are instead subject to Gilead’s naming conventions. This motif is also present in the aforementioned scenes. All the corpses on the walls have obscured faces and therefore are deprived of their identities. This move is probably so that passerby can be sufficiently cowed by the scene while feeling minimal pity or attachment to the corpses that could lead to resentment of the government.

It’s much harder to establish a resistance if no one knows who anyone is.

The Envious Market: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vgz4i1LCgOEOcWLxGvYz3revpn2dUVCdCqhvcvRHNQU/edit?tab=t.0

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