My capstone is a mini-series inspired by myself and my co-creators stories and experiences with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Wisemind, the name of the series, is also written to educate its audience and challenge their misconceptions about OCD and people living with it. I used the tools I learned in my CTE digital video course to put this project together, and thoroughly enjoyed the process of its creation. Attached below is my presentation and annotated bibliography.
By: Malcolm, Izzy, Aedan, Stella
In our third and final podcast we discuss the ending of Fahrenheit 451, and our takeaways from this read. After spending some time discussing the ending we open up a larger conversation about what could have been and our experiences reading The Classics. With comparisons to Margaret Atwood’s THT, marvel comics, and Hayao Miyazaki, we discuss the bulk of Bradbury’s weaknesses as a writer and the uniqueness of this book.
My goals of this essay were to explore and try to make the reader understand how sexuality, puberty, identity, and image all interact. I’m proud of the fact that for the first time in a while, I was able to write about these topics with a flow that coincided with my feelings. The random flow and revisiting of memories recent and distant was intentionally sporadic, as to capture my pace of thinking and it’s overlap with what I wanted to write about. I think if I made more time for myself to work on the actual consistency and focus of this piece I’d have put more thought into some of the subtopics I visit. Nonetheless, I’m proud of this piece and hope you can enjoy.
I joined social media when I was in middle school, probably 7th grade. I was about 12 when I started looking at my body differently. Resentment towards a prepubescent blocky shape. Fussing with hair, pinching at hips and thighs. Reassured that my body would stretch into a sleeker shape. Reassured I would be handsome, less feminine.
In 7th grade, I wanted an undercut. My mom shaved away the back and sides of my hair with old clippers, frequently asking that I sit up straight and hold still. Afterward, I must’ve burst into tears not moments after peering at my reflection in the mirror. It didn’t matter the cut or color, nothing would take attention away from my round face. Washing the freshly cut hair off my shoulders and back weeping quietly, “I don’t want to be a girl.”
The frustration I had toward my image peaked around the same time I got comfortable with my gay identity. Most media tends to portray homosexual identity in a damaging way. Though the nature of its representation should be empowering, it just creates a false idea of homosexuality. Emphasis on sex, body, clothes, speech, etc. There’s less discussion about bullying, prejudice, guilt, embarrassment, shame.
The shame can kill you. You sit in class, paranoid that someone knows or that someone could find out and tell. You survive the same way everyone else does. Jokes disparaging homosexuality. Slurs with delicious vowels rolling off your tongue, leaving a bitter aftertaste. It’s subconscious and trained. You ́re a sleeper agent, equipped with the perfect comedy to mask your identity. After all, no one knows it better than you.
Being directly asked about your sexuality during this time is the worst. You don’t want to fib, but it’s easier. Maybe you’re being asked encouragingly by male friends, wanting reassurance that you all feel the same affliction to a girl in your class. It could be asked in a mocking tone, by a bully or a group thereof. Until you accept the part of yourself fighting its way out, your answer will remain an untruth, buried beneath shame, guilt, and a false sense of wrongdoing.
My first crush was a boy that likely faced some sort of confusion like I had, but was raised in an environment that lacked tools necessary to understand such feelings. Prolonged hugs in the dark, spooning at sleepovers, confused hormones, unnecessary I-love-yous, and so much shame. He had girlfriends he didn’t have feelings for. I had girlfriends I didn’t have feelings for.
Bargaining is very common, especially while exploring other identities. Yearning for some sort of flexibility, a wider variety of options. Bisexual, pansexual, demi, poly, etcetera. The lies you tell yourself might feel easier when pondering your identity. Lies are moldable, soft, and easy. The truth can be hard to accept. It is inconsiderate and uncaring to what you want, it simply is.
You might consider others with a sort of opulence around their sexuality. Others not like you have more options, lavishly exploring sensuality and feeding their sexual appetite. This isolation can make you grow desperate, yearning for comradery and understanding. A community can be found, whether that be via web forums, clubs, or amongst other outcasts you find yourself crossing paths with.
Early in my life, I found myself with other queer youth in an Instagram group chat, dedicated to some sort of online fantasy roleplay. I didn’t have much interaction with other LGBT folk up until that point, so being surrounded by it was highly liberating. Hours were spent nearly every day, typing, locked into conversation with people much like me. This didn’t wash away my guilt or shame completely, it just made it feel less alien or strange.
I still held a scowl as often as I could, shrouding my rather soft look. After being told by another student that I “walked gay,” my strut became more intrepid, heedless of what was around me. I dragged my uniform shoes, left buttons undone, tried my best to carry a dauntless and uncaring image. Could the way I dress now, (spikes and all) be influenced or a direct causality of this? Yes.
I was constantly focused on my image when I was younger— still am really. My body, my face, my hair. The persona I created was cunning, deviant, sexual. This, in hindsight, was mainly influenced by the queer representation we’ve had and still had. Rebelliousness, disobedience, insubordination. We’re subliminally taught that our very existence, our queerness, is an act of defiance against society, and more often than not, godliness. As if we had any say in the matter of our creation.
I am one of few to be able to say confidently that I have a rather strange work ethic. Rather than being able to get something done by just sitting down and really grind through any sort of task, I really prefer to work at it in bursts of energy based on my mood at the time. I can tend to submit things late just because I don’t have all that much motivation to get things done at the time, but I can also crank out a benchmark in a day if I get really committed to the assignment. Probably why this assignment is about a week late, I tend to work flexibly so that whatever I do is to the best of my ability and something I feel confident in doing. That being said, there are some strengths to my work ethic that I’m comfortable explaining.
Creative - I’m well aware this is one of the most basic and overused personality trait anyone can use to describe themselves, but I think I can say all jokes aside that I can think outside of the box a bit and bring some unique ideas to the table. If I start with a good idea for an assignment I can really make it my own and have a blast with whatever’s given to me. This can be both a blessing and a curse as every once in a while I twist the task just a bit so that I don’t always meet requirements just because I have so much fun working on certain creative assignments.
Flexible - This comes in handy primarily with group projects. My approach is that chances are whoever is taking the lead of this assignment probably has a way better idea of what it should look like, and if I work to make that dream a reality it’ll get a pretty decent grade. I do enjoy meeting in the middle and collaborating to make even more elaborate ideas, however, I have no objections to letting partners take over a bit and get better at their own craft. I’ve been working on projects since middle school, so at this point, I’m well aware of what I want isn’t going to be exactly what a group creates.
Resourceful - Now, this is a bit more specific, however when it comes to more creative assignments I tend to instantly have an idea of what I want to do, and what I need to do to make that happen. Pretty much anything that involves storytelling I’ve already had something in the works just sitting back in my subconscious waiting for an opportunity. I love projects, and I love being able to apply everything I know academically to a fun and exciting project.
In conclusion, my work ethic is a bit sloppy, disorganized, and unrefined however if I put my mind to it I can actually put out some pretty cool stuff (so I’m told). I know that if I just do the work this can come to my advantage I the academic field, it just takes me some time getting comfortable in school so that I can consistently use my time to make creative projects and that all starts with time management and self-motivation.
- My element is Iodine, and has the atomic number 53
- Iodine was discovered in 1811 by the French chemist Barnard Curtis. The usage of Iodine is mainly medical, reducing thyroid hormones, and killing fungus, bacteria, and other microorganisms such as amoebas, there's also types of iodine that can treat radioactive accidents.
- The greek origin of Iodine, or, iōdēs translates to "violet colored", which gave me the idea to make a flower "a violet" that had crystallized traits considering that iodine in solid form is like a chunky crystal.
- I started with making sketches of crystal-looking flowers, I took samples of the shape of Iodine to try and make the chunkier or more crystal-looking petals.
- If I did this again I'd try to focus on making sure there wouldn't be creases or folds in the styrofoam print so that things looked neater.
- My favorite part was actually printing the designs since I've always enjoyed printmaking and getting to see how your design turns out.