It should be around here somewhere...is it here? No...there? No….ummm...AHA! Here it is! I’ve been looking for this for so long.  I can’t wait to read this. I bet this’ll be…oh…hey Dad. What are you doing here?

…

What do I have here? Oh, umm…it’s a book. I was going to start reading it for class. I need it for English this quarter.

…

What book is it? It’s uh…it’s called “War of the Skeletons.” I’ve been looking for it for a while.

…

Uh, yeah, you can see it. I know it’s not something you’d want me to read, but-

…

Wait what? Why!?!

…

B-But it’s a good book! I actually want to read it! Ms. Vomohap said-

…

Are you seriously bringing this up now? Of all times?

...

Why are you being like this dad, you never let me read what I want! You’re always telling me to read harder books and now that I have one, you won’t let me read it! And for what reason? It makes no sense!

…

Why are you always so critical? This doesn’t even affect you! You never let me have any fun whatsoever! All you do is criticize me! You always think I’m playing video games when on my laptop! And it’s not like you do it to everyone, either. If my brothers we’re to make a mistake, they’d just get a slap on the wrist! You don’t even yell at mom that much! It’s always me! Why do I always have to get the lecture? It’s not fair! Now, I really need a book to read for class. My teacher said it could be anything as long as it’s something adequate for a 10th grader to read! And this is!

…

I don’t want to take any of YOUR books. I want to bring my own! Besides, your books are so boring!

…

Why? Because they’re so long! I don’t want to spend my time reading a 50 chapter book! And there always about the same thing! I know how they all end! There’s some kid who’s a nobody, they find out they some secret or superpower, then they meet a girl and ends up dating them at the end. I know!

...

It’s because of the subject, isn’t it?

...

The book is set in a famous video game, and I know how you feel about them. You’ve always hated video games. Always.

...

Ok, let’s say that I had a book about World War II. It’s exactly like this one, a lot of chapters, no pictures, everything. Accept it’s a very violent book and goes into full detail about the war. It’s gory details fly through your head and never come out, resulting in endless nightmares and such. Would you have let me read that? Have you?

…

I thought so.

....

Look Dad, I know you’re upset, and I know how much you want me to read. You want me to be better, and I do too. So I started by picking out a book about something that interests me, because then I’ll have a reason to pick it back up. I really want to take a look at this book. So can you please, please let me read it?

….

Really? You’ll let me? Seriously? I actually convinced you.

….

Thank you! Finally I can read something!

….

You won’t be disappointed, Dad! Not at all!

(Dad leaves, character looks at book)

…

I better make the best of this. If I’m going to change, this is a good start. I remember when my brother read this a few months ago, and he said it was awesome. I think it’s awesome, too. So, yeah, I’m going to read this, no matter what anyone says! I now have something to read!

(Does the sign of the cross)

In the name of The Father, of The Son, and of The Holy Spirit.

(Proceeds to pray as her hands are in prayer position)

Oh Lord, I ask that you watch over my family and friends. That you guide us in the right direction and help keep us from harm. I pray my grandpa is watching over me from Heaven, but can I ask? Ask why you would take him away from me. Why you would take someone who had so much faith in you away from their family?

(Remove hands from prayer position and intensifies tone of voice)

Haven't you seen what I’ve been through? Don’t you remember how much faith I have in you or had I should say. I … I just can’t do this anymore. I’m done believing.

You’ve failed me. After everything I’ve done! After everything I’ve been through, all you do is put me through more pain. You said that Jesus died for us. That he died to prevent us from the pain he went through when he was nailed to the cross, but if that's true then why did you leave my grandpa helpless in a hospital bed dying from cancer!

(Runs her hands through her hair and starts to pace/walk around the room as she talks)

I’d spent an integral part of my adolescence in a hospital. Fox Chase Cancer Center to be exact, and even though it wasn't me who was sick, I would have prefered that compared to the actuality of the situation. My best friend was in the hospital with stage four cancer.

He was such a happy person. Not even being diagnosed with cancer could dull his sparkle, but the chemotherapy did. It made him weak. Tired. I could see how the pain affected him whenever I’d visit.

(Pause and look up)

He was the matriarch of our family. Yet the chemotherapy made him weak when we needed him most.

(Look like you’re about to cry)

All we wanted was for him to be okay! We’d be excited when they’d tell us that he could come home, but we’d be distressed and depressed when we’d have to bring him to the emergency room no more than 3 weeks later.

(Look like you’ve had a train of thought and then smile)

I visited my grandpa everyday after school hoping he would get better. It put a smile on my face to see how his eyes lit up when I walked into the room. “Hola Ava” he would say. “Hola Abuelo” I would reply as I walked towards him to give him a hug.

For the rest of the afternoon, we would watch tv with our family, and tell corny jokes until it was time for us to go home. “I love you Abuelo” I'd tell him before I left.  “I love you too” he’d say with a cheesy smile on his face. It made me happy to see that he was happy. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

(Look towards the ceiling)

God, during his treatment I stopped believing. Believing that you would help the situation, that you would make everything better. As he continued to get worse I continued to wonder why you would do this to me, to my family, to our family. I was on constant alert fearing that one day you would take him away from me.

(Short Pause)

Every time I saw him the last sentence I would say to him was I love you. I said I love you because was I so scared that I would lose him at any moment.

(Intensify the urgency as this sentence is said)

Do you know how emotionally unstable that makes a child? To know that her grandpa, her best friend, could die from esophageal cancer at any minute.

(Pause)

And then it happened. On an early afternoon in August he died. My dad hadn't told me until we got home, but I could sense that something was wrong before then. I tried to prepare myself, but I wasn’t ready to hear the news. I don’t think anyone else was either. His death affected me deeper than I could even fathom.

(Start speaking in a slight whisper)

It made me lose faith. Faith in you, your religion, and I’m sorry.  Saying all of this has helped me realized that it isn’t your fault. My feelings of anger and betrayal were out of distress, despair. I was trying to find someone to blame the situation on, and you just happened to be the target.

You were the only person I thought could help him and seeing how he hadn’t gotten any better I took that as you failing, but (Sigh) I was wrong to blame you. I mean you did help him live four and half years longer than the doctors said he would. In fact they called his survival a miracle.

(Slowly does the sign of the cross)

And with that being said, I’m sorry.

(Slight Pause)

Amen. (She says as she bows her head)

Hey, what’s up. I haven’t seen you in a long time. What?What is it, What you mean, Ohh, this? Heh.Yea It’s a pain in the butt. What do you mean how this happen?

Well, long story short, I was at practice during Ultimate, and while sprinting to block someone I was bouta run into a freshman, and I didn’t want to hurt him so I jump to the side and when I did, I was running extremely fast and when I jumped I had a misstep and I twisted it pretty badly.Man I should’ve just ran him over(jokingly). I’m too nice. But now I been stuck like this for a while now. At, first I didn’t think it was that bad, I just needed to get an Xray to make sure. Then I was told I have a fractured, had an appointment set for them to look into it more and then it turned into also having a dislocated tendon. And then it was recommend I had surgery which turned even more crazy, my mom started freaking out saying nonsense and stuff.

Well, I can’t blame her, she is my mom, and she did have her experience with surgery which went pretty ermmm. But that doesn’t mean the same thing would happen to me. I’m not going want to walk around with a messed up ankle and never run again. I would rather take the surgery and have a normal ankle again which they said I would have if I do it because there was low risk chances. It was all crazy, all my mom did was tell me how it was going to be painful and blah blah. Like I knew what I was going to go through, and I’m willing to do it. But all she did was complain and get on my nerves. After appointments and appointments we decided we was going to do it. My mom was out of options so she couldn’t really avoid the surgery. But I was prepared, I wasn’t planning on throwing my reputation on the team away. And I’m still young I need to stay active yanno? But woooo, that surgery was a pain in the ass after. You can say there was a lot of needles, and then after the surgery It was painful the first few days. Pain meds didn’t really help. I couldn’t really sleep because It would feel like my wound was reopening itself, it would feel like I can feel the stitches pop one by one as it slowly open. Oh boy.Well I was in a split, but after one of my appointments they took it off and put me in a cast.Man you should’ve saw my leg, it was interesting you can say. Like it became so skinny,and wrinkly, it just wasn’t nice to see it. The aftermath I guess. I’m going to be stuck like this for a little more, but after it’s all over I’m going to work in getting back in shape. Going to have therapy to help with that too.

But I want to come back strong this spring. My mom doesn’t support me still playing sports and etc tho. Especially after what happen. I’m not sure If I would be allow to play, I hope I will be able to. If i do I have to be more careful next time, because your arms and legs and a valuable part of your body. It was a good first experience in a way.Can wait until, The Return of Michael. Well shit, long story short turn into me telling you mostly what happen haha. I can’t wait to be out of this. Until then, a positive mindset is good.

Thunder He Cries

Silence You’ve lost all but one, me. rain drizzling sound

It hits me when you’re hurt, when you’re drowning in deep sorrow until you’re yet to hit rock bottom. thunder sound, continues to rain drizzling You seek a light so bright, yet you’re stuck in the dark. You blame yourself, but it’s not you. You’ve made mistakes, but you’ve learned from them. You had little from the start, not much to spare. It meant everything to you, everything. You’ve lost it though, all of it. The little you had is now nothing. How do you feel? another thunder No don’t cry, don’t sob. Because you were wrong. I was wrong. You have me. I’m worth more than everything you once had. What you’ve lost, it was never there to stay. It was on a joyride that came upon you. You enjoyed it then, but now it’s gone. There never was a permanent commitment. You don’t know what it feels like to have a permanent commitment, but you do have one. One you do not realize until that point in life you will stumble upon, and when you do you will lose it all. Me. pauses Do you not believe me? thunder sound, silence There has been many points in your life where I have been with you. I helped you. I lived those moments with you whether they were good or bad. I was there. Me. thunder, rain drizzles continues You were never alone from the moment you met me. It may have not seemed like it, but that’s not because you didn’t notice my presence, it’s because you were not comfortable enough to throw your issues at me. You choose to leave me out and expect me to be there? How? I’m not a magical being, I’m human, just like you. You make mistakes, I know, I do too. Everyone does. BUT quick thunder a mistake takes more than one person. You’re not alone.

I can’t believe you were going to let this happen to you. I don’t care if you don’t love yourself or if your parents can’t find a reason to love you, because I do and I will teach you how to love yourself. storm gets loud You have to know it wasn’t your fault that your parents are always fighting, it’s not your fault that they do not believe in love.

No, it’s okay. I understand. Do you? Pauses, rain drizzles continue I know it’s hard to believe. I’m not God. I can’t save you. But whatever you go through, I’ll go through WITH you. It’s hard. I understand, but hey, you’re most certainly not alone. You’re most certainly not the only one that cares. sighs as if his message did not get through to the significant other You don’t have to believe me. It’s your choice. Everything you do is your choice. There may be a lot of significant others that influences your choices, but in the end, the choice you make is yours. The consequences you get are yours. This doesn’t mean you deal with the consequences alone. You have me. I choose to be with you. I choose to drag my life through all that you need or want me to be there with you for. Like the many times your dad left your mom for a few days and she was always drinking and causing problems with you, I was there. Just like how you would tell me good news that we could celebrate together. Like that time you got your first college acceptance letter with full scholarship, I was there. You can also tell me not-so-good things that you wouldn’t want to be alone for. Like that time your mom kicked you out of the house and you had nowhere to go so you called your brother and I had to find out through him weeks later. quiet sob over the rain drizzle

audio via google drive-https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4o7xZVa6WS1TFBkN1A1WUhITjA

You bonehead! Why do you have to say something like that?  For once can you shut your mouth and be respectful, not everyone has to be your sex toy.

You weren't always like this you know, you used to be nice and most of all respectful. I know you don’t want to talk about this especially not here, where we first started when we met where we made something more out of ourselves together.  Before falling apart really seeing the face behind the mask.   I thought I loved you! Boy, I was wrong! you're nothing but a disrespectful whore.

I know you know exactly where this is going to go but this time is going to be different, this time you're going to listen or were done, if you F this is like you always do then goodbye I'm not talking to you again, you do this then look at me like you did nothing wrong, and then with a quiet voice that almost just almost makes you sound like you really actually care, then you squeak out, I'm sorry if that offended you?

I'm Sorry if that offended you? Well if you were really sorry you wouldn’t do it F every day.  You won’t, rate women by how hot they are or act like the only reason they exist is to fuck them.    

Almost every time you open your big ass mouth, something stupid comes out.  If you're really sorry then show it, I used to be proud to be your friends now I don’t want to be seen with you.  Pointing and laughing at like it some kind of joke, it’s sickening I don’t even want to be around you, put myself through this every day.  When you stop and look at me with your eyes almost crying and say it was only a joke. I can’t keep letting myself take this torture it hurts. To hear and see James, I used to look to look at you and see someone so kind and so compassionate and now I see a jerk who covers it up with thier huge smile and big wide eyes.   

I want to laugh also so explain it to me please, I don’t get it why the hell you think this is  alright. If you think this is some kind of joke it not funny. I want to be your friend, your best friend like we used to be. When we knew each other and our conversation had an impact, when we mattered to each other.   You're making it kind of hard if I have to put up with this, every day.

(pause waiting for a response)

You're an ass and you're mad at me for pointing it out.  I’m saying my honest opinion about what you do. You're saying I’m the ass for telling you what I think instead of standing there agreeing with you, the way women are supposed  to right?!

(pause waiting for a response)

RIGHT?!

I don’t even know what to say any more to you,  I look back and it magic and I stand here and it’s hell, washing over us.  I thought we were perfect. (crying) If I had known it would come to this I don’t know if I ever would have tried. We had so many good times. But looking back they were only full of cruel jokes and lies. I honestly cannot forgive myself for being a part of that.

So, go ahead and say whatever you want me to believe, try and use you tilted head and big eyes to make everything ok. It’s not going to work this time, I can’t keep doing this, forgiving you and forcing myself to forget what is really happening.  

I tried and kept trying, watching as you point as laugh like it no big deal, pointing out every single flaw someone has, when there just walking down the street, I can’t anymore after all that you have done.  You final pushed to my breaking point rubbing me off, treating me like a servant, like a slave to your every wish.   I nothing to you anymore, nobody is to you we're all just there for sex when you want it.   

Well I'm sorry then that it had to come to this, but I can’t put up with this anymore and You're not going to change, for me we both know what your happy the way you are, with or without me, you know what I'm glad, You can have your fun and I can have new better friends, it a win-win situation,  Nobody is on the bottom.  

Don’t bother saying you're going to change, I don’t believe you. I tried it all with you, you're not going to change so don’t bother lying to me or yourself, someone will be ok  with it  just not me. We were once so strong, now here we are barely holding on to the sight of each other as we walk away.   

Bye I guess, there nothing really else to say.

          In the Life of a ¨No¨

Sweet heart you finally came, you really came, come sit next to me give me your hand I want to tell you some things today.  Why are you looking at me like that,  I know what you’re thinking, but that's not important anymore. No no you will not come here everyday just to watch me wither away slowly. Live life while you can be free. Look at me I am your living example. Physically I have the doctors standing over me watching every single one of my steps, very carefully telling me what I can and can't do. There is an invisible bondage of shackles. All around me from every corner all I hear is “No, that is harmful, no we can’t give you that, no sorry we don’t think that’s possible, NO, NO, NO!!” hearing these words is now a part of my daily routine. They tell me what to eat, do and wear. Even without them I still have the machines watching every one of my moves, from what I’m eating to the calculation of my heart beat.

My last wishes are nothing to them their only job is to keep me “alive”, alive physically but not mentally. The binding words of the doctors ¨no sugar¨ or you will have a fast death no getting up from bed, rest or you might feel weak. Listen to me sweet heart never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Your death is already written for you, when you're supposed to die you will die. Those small things that they say no to you for when they say “No, that's too dangerous, No thats gonna hurt” these are the the things in your path that stop you from getting to your bigger goal. Do you want your whole life to be controlled? If you don’t start to follow your dreams and heart now one day you too will be lying on this hospital bed alone, nothing but the orders of the doctors and your relatives controlling the rest of your life or in my case days. I sit and watch the sun as it goes up and then back down, every sunset counting the last of my days. My only movement from sitting up to laying back down, my whole life concealed in four corners of a room and my body connected to a machine, my bed is angled at the right direction so the sun hits my face right at dawn and then once it's gone I am left to stare at those dull blue curtains. I watch life go by and dream only dream in my bed, in my bed of sorrows. It’s as if though they all waited for me to get this weak and old so they could just place me here. Yes your father and your uncles pay for everything but that's not what brings me happiness. Sending me to this dull hospital bed isn’t what is pleasing me. My life consisted of starting out with the rule of my parents then settling down with a family of my own, raising your father and then your grandfather left me, now I sit here alone left with only my thoughts to accompany me, clouding over me and making me realize how it's all too late. Only I can understand how I feel the pain of watching everyone live on running, jumping, dancing, hopping and walking doing what they want while these wires and needles are the only thing binding me to this bedpost. They have my body here but my soul has already died and fled to another world.  Rather than dying a slow awaited stretched out death I wanted to die proud and accomplished. But that is impossible when you have so many restrictions that you are faced with. Even on your deathbed there is no escape you have every eye on you, mourning. These wrinkles and ripples on my skin are here to prove something I am your grandmother and I have seen and experienced a lot in my time, if there is one thing I can tell you with all my heart is to do what you want before it's too late never limit yourself, never let anyone tell you you can’t. Never take No for an answer.

Heyyyyyy
Are you my uber, Carl S-Sagan? Oh, it's Carlos?

My bad Carl, I'm Caesar.

Where I am I going? Um let's see the home I think yeah. Oh where yeah that makes sense um let's think 24th and Peridot I think that is where I live, My apartment is cool you should be able to see it from the street I forgot to turn off the light so you can see my fake plant and my poster of Nas, I like Nas.

Where am I coming from you ask? The bar isn’t it obvious? [lifts up up a bottle] 17th and Geno? At this rate it's gonna take foreverrrr.[Slides back in seat]. There was quiet for a second Tell me a story!.

A story about MY family afraid’ not Carlton closest thing I had to a family was my wife well except she wasn’t my wife she was my girlfriend.[Looking out the window dramatically] You don’t get it, Cole! She wasn’t your run of the mill dane, she was to kill for. Man, how old should she be now? [Pulls out fingers and starts counting] I’m twenty-four and she was a year younger than me so that would make her...yeah 23 something like that. [Pause] No you don’t *hic* you don’t get it, Comatose , she was my world my Mundo as the french say. [Puts head in lap], what was she like,um let me think. She was tough as nails a real never had to say it twice, always wanting to talk on late summer nights, bars! [Raised bottle] Kind of like this one [Looks out the window again]. What happened? I’ll tell you what happened?! I leave Brooklyn for a week One Week![holding up a finger]. Then she tells me “I can’t be with you anymore, I don’t love you, I’m sorry” I ask Why she gives me a whole spiel about “You never pay attention to me, you make me self-conscious about my body, and you don’t listen” I tell you, Cody, I’m the most concentrated man you have ever met, I turned my eye for a second then she’s gone she thinks I don’t look at her Instagram with a fake account to see she’s with a new guy a day later! I tell ya Christopher dating was so much easier when I was in high school! Empathy? What about me?!

HOW ABOUT MY FEELINGS CONNOR?! I spent all those years putting her feelings before mine I left my dog with my parents because she was allergic, I didn’t have to do that, I sold my motorcycle because she thought I’d hurt myself and I went with it. I stop cooking my grilled cheese sandwiches on the roof because she said it was “Unsanitary” and I battled her for that one but I quit. It sounds like she cared for me? What did she do for me that made my happy ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? “Buy me this buy my that, what clothes should I wear? Can you take out the trash? Eat spaghetti with me, Wait for me so we can watch Luke Cage together, Let’s take our picture together… [Reaches into pocket and pulls out picture] Clifford I feel like I really screwed this one up big time. It’s all too funny I guess you never really know what you have until it’s gone. Y’know Charley, she always pointed out on this you know my house is close because of the giant neon sign that says “Psychic” we went in there once I remember she called out the woman because she said she couldn’t do a kickflip on a snowboard in the middle of summer. Boy, where we all shocked when she showed us. Or that one time where she told me she invented concrete shoes and then slipped into the river we’re at the hospital for hours. Oh and that other time-

Oh we’re here already? Alright well um see you thanks for “this”[Car door opens and then leaves but immediately gets back in the car] . Hey, Carlos wanna go to a diner or something I like these little talks.