I did not know this about you, and I thought you did great with your story. I really liked it. You used the liner timeline well, and I thought it did help me understand your story somewhat better.
Taylor! I learned so much about you from reading this! I didn't know you had Bipolar Depression and struggles in school. Your writing was really strong, I could feel the emotions you were writing about in every paragraph. I loved your reflection at the end it was really meaningful. I could see the timeline from middle school to now. Good job!
In this essay, I learned how strong you really are. People put up faces all the time and say that they are ok when they really aren't and I commend you for having the courage to talk to your sister and mother and figure out what was bugging you. I also like how your essay was written because it showed deep reflections of you experiences.
I learn what the first day of high school was like for different people. what I learn about Taylor the attributes that make her who she is.
I think that the simile she used to describe the lost of those she loved were strong. as well as described the feeling of losing someone very strong. Her repetition of the phrase did help emphasize. Hearing different school names had to be hard, and it caused a weird tension that I liked. :)
In my reflection, I tried to include what I did in order to better myself back then and how I'm still keeping up with BPD now.
I also had a liner timeline so that the reader could follow along and see how I had changed throughout the years.
I like how your paper eventually lead into something that might not have been expected because of what you included in the beginning. It also shows your progression, and I really like that.
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