Blog Feed

SAYGRACE - You Don’t Own Me ft. G-Eazy (Official Video)

The Commander in The Handmaids acts like he owns Offred. There are times when Offred feels sorry for him and views him as a victim of Gilead, just as she is. Throughout the novel, however, it becomes clear through their interactions that the Commander is using his power over Offred for his own gain. He doesn’t see her as an equal but as an instrument for his own pleasure. The text states “Maybe none of this is about control.Maybe it isn’t really about who can own whom, who can do what to whom and get away with it, even as far as death.(135).He knows that this is wrong but continues to do so in order to show that he is in control of that relationship and can end it when ever he wants.

Michael Jackson - Human Nature (Audio)

In The Handmaid’s Tale, the author constantly uses human nature to analyze internal conflict in Offred. She tries to decide if she should give into the new ways of Gilead or if she should try to rebel against the regime. She doesn’t know what happened to her husband Luke and she is trying to contain some type of real-life mentality. Offred feels so bad because she doesn’t know what happened to her husband Luke. This song basically talks about how if you tend to do wrong things it’s not that big of a deal because everyone will end up doing something wrong in their life.

I’m Gonna Miss You - Milli Vanilli

This song represents the relationship between Offred and Moria, she is Offred oldest and best friend, she is often seen in many of Offred’s memories, in Gilead the two meet at the Red Centre and then again at Jezebel’s. Moira is an unconventional character, she is outspoken and rebellious. Throughout the text, their friendship represents true female friendship and Offred does not have many friends that she can trust. The song has one lyric that is repeated throughout the song, “and I never will forget the day we met, girl i’m gonna miss you”, this is how Offred felt when Moria escaped. The tone of the song is very slow-paced and has a sad track this can represent the feeling of how a person might feel when losing someone that is really important or close to them.

Brandy & Monica - The Boy Is Mine (Official Video)

This song is about two women fighting over one guy, this can be related back to Offred and The Commander’s relationship, he is married to Serena Joy but has this secret relationship that no one knows about with Offred. The women in the song go back and forth about who’s actually in the relationship with the guy, they both think that they have more grip on the guy and the song ends with both of them saying “The boy is mine”.This represents how the relationship between both The Commander and Offred and The Commander and Serena Joy are not strong relationships and he can keep going back to either one with no punishment.

Mint Condition - Breakin’ My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes) (Official Music Video)

This song is ultimately representing The Commander and Serena Joy’s relationship,he continues to cheat on her with Offred and it doesn’t really seem to have an effect on him. He is careless with Offred making her risk her life multiple times for his own pleasure and personal gain. He has more power over Offred making her do things that she does not want to do. He is not loyal to his wife and he is breaking her heart,becuase in a marriage you are supported to have trust and The Commander isn’t really a trustworthy person.

In chapter 23, we read about a significant moment in The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred’s ability to experience and do something forbidden to the women in Gilead. Which is reading and writing. That is exactly what we see her do throughout this chapter, which stuck out to me. On page 138 we got to see the Commander ask Offred to play Scrabble. However, in the reading, it is described as, “It’s something different. Now it’s forbidden, for us. Now it’s dangerous. Now it’s indecent. Now it’s something he can’t do with his Wife. Now it’s desirable. Now he’s compromised himself. It’s as if he’s offered me drugs.” The comparison to being offered drugs is one that you can’t make often. The way Offred is describing this, you would think they would avoid playing it at all costs. That does not seem to be the case here though for Offred and the Commander. After reading this I felt confused as to why he would risk himself and Offred for a boring game of Scrabble. Such a small and silly thing could ruin Offred’s life, even though she wasn’t the one to make the choice. “All right,” I say, as if indifferent. I can in fact hardly speak.” Offred’s reaction makes me think she was also in disbelief that he would ask her that, by stating her inability to speak. I thought this part was intriguing because we assume Offred cannot say no, because of the repercussions. But I was confused as to why she did not fight to turn his forbidden offer down because it is something that if it were to be discovered the outcome would be plenty dangerous and bad. I wondered if she was suspicious of him if she doubted her trust in coming to see him. But I also think about how she could be terrified to say something, and like usual, she just gives in to what is asked. As for the Commander, I also questioned his motive, and I was interested to know his intentions. I thought that maybe he could be using this as bait, to see if she’ll fall into this trap. Of doing something she’s not allowed to do and is forbidden. What would he do with her if that was the case? If this was all just a set-up? I felt scared for Offred, for what could come. With something like this, all sorts could go wrong. However, I believe there has to be a reason why he would want to play Scrabble. Another reason why this intrigued me was because I thought he could be doing this as a way of wanting to help Offred out. The handmaids are not allowed to do much, so I think this could be his way of giving her some sort of entertainment, an “out.” Maybe he happens to be one who still has a bit of sympathy and can feel for Offred. Maybe he wants her to feel like she has some sort of potential to do more, to do the things that are forbidden. Freedom. But why? What could be his reasoning? I was still confused because, despite all of this, I thought, what if someone caught them? What if someone were to catch them in the act, playing this? Things would not play out well for either of them, and it would only make matters worse.

In The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred often experiences bouts of nostalgia, where she will go deep into her own mind. She thinks about the good and the bad times—though I think she recounts more good than bad—from the before times. She recounts stories from childhood with her mother, from a secret relationship with Luke, from a public relationship with Luke, and from being a mother. Margaret Atwood, the author of the Handmaid’s Tale, will often start these stories abruptly. Atwood will write about Offred and her companion, Ofglen walking to the market, and then Offred will recount a memory, somewhat randomly. Atwood writes, “Ofglen and I walk slowly today; we are hot in our long dresses, wet under the arms, tired… There used to be an ice cream store, somewhere in this block. I can’t remember the name… We would go there, when [my daughter] was little, and I’d hold her up so she could see through the glass side of the counter, where the vats of ice cream were on display, colored so delicately, pale orange, pale green, pale pink, and I’d read the names to her so she could choose. She wouldn’t choose by the name, though, but by the color. Her dresses and overalls were those colors too. Ice cream pastels” (164-165). This story, about an ice cream shop that no longer exists, and a daughter that, to Offred, no longer exists, comes to her after seeing a reminder of a previous time. This is interesting to me because instead of seeing something and moving on, she stays with the memory for as long as she can. Offred’s train of thought is powerful because she will give into it more than other people might. I also have this experience, because a lot of times I will distract myself with the first thing that comes to mind. When I was younger, this manifested itself in playing pretend games in my head, and now it manifests itself as getting distracted easily while doing work, and having a hard time getting back on task. I think I do this because my brain naturally turns away from the things it finds unfulfilling. For example, when I am doing math homework or chores, I’m not thinking about math or the trash, I’m thinking about summer camp or the last dentist appointment I had. These distractions reward my efforts. For all the grinding I’m doing with calculus or emptying the dishwasher, I at least can remember swimming with my friends and how clean my teeth felt. For Offred, I think this is similar. Gilead is such a cruel world, and Offred does not enjoy it. She distracts herself with memories of her past, which she enjoyed significantly more, even though she might not always recognize it. Atwood writes, “There seemed no end to [Luke]. We would lie in those afternoon beds, afterwards, hands on each other, talking it over. Possible, impossible. What could be done? We thought we had such problems. How were we to know we were happy?” (51). Offred recognizes that she was happier in a past life, where she wasn’t forced to give birth to babies that weren’t hers and perform rituals she probably would’ve called crazy as a teenager. Even though she knows that she can’t get back to her happier past life by thinking about it, she still does. Even though I know that I can’t stop doing my homework because I’m daydreaming about the summer time, I still do. We do these things as a form of escapism. We don’t like the current situation we’re in—although mine is quite a bit less dire than hers is—so we make up a new one from our heads that we’ve experienced before. Offred’s thoughts often end up straying to four characters: Her daughter, her mother, Luke, and Moira. These characters keep coming up both logistically (where has Luke ended up?) and emotionally (I hope my daughter is alive). These characters in her life are Offred’s chosen form of escapism because she loves and cares about them. It’s a lot easier for her mind to first wander to topics she thinks might cheer her up, when in the end, they might do more harm than good. This is because she spirals when she thinks about them, like when she imagined Luke dead or locked away somewhere. I also tend to spiral, and mine also tends to be about the stress of living and the wellbeing of loved ones. Offred and I both ‘escape’ to places in our minds, but it doesn’t necessarily make us feel better.

Artist’s Statement:

My artwork, titled Under His Eye, depicts Commander Fred casting a large shadow on the wall behind him. The shadow, however, is not the same silhouette that the commander would normally project. The looming shadow on the wall has large angel-like wings, with a large piercing eye in the center, resembling the symbol of Gilead, the symbol of the soul scrolls, and the Eyes.

Throughout the story, the commander has become more and more humanized as the reader learns more and more about him. However, this humanization comes with the realization that the Commander played an integral role in bringing about the Republic of Gilead. It can be easy to forget how dangerous he is, how influential he is, and how much he is to blame for the current state of the world. Him casting Gilead’s shadow represents his involvement and role in upholding the oppressive regime. The wings on the commander could also make him look like an angel. This plays into the way Gilead views itself. Like many governments and people in power, Gilead is very religious and believes it is carrying out God’s will. The commanders are the saviors, the angels, to guide the people to a better way of life.

The eye is also there to represent the unknown danger of the Eyes. The reader knows the commander has to keep his law breaking a secret, but they still do not know who he is hiding it from. He is afraid of being caught by someone, but so far the only authority that the reader has been introduced to that could possibly be above such a high ranking commander is the mysterious Eyes. A higher ranking class than the commanders would change the way the reader views the current government, as well

The color of the eye in the middle of the shadow is brown. One of the most oppressive parts of the Republic of Gilead is the way it forces the individuality out of someone, and forces you to become nothing more than the role you are assigned. The handmaidens are not supposed to talk to anyone, look at anyone, dress how they want, and more. It is only fitting that the eye symbolizing this government would be the least unique possible.

The piece is titled Under His Eye for multiple reasons, and offers multiple interpretations. One of which is that the “He” refers to God. This is perhaps the more obvious one, as Gilead is a Christian government, but it carries an important message of fear and control. The other interpretation is that “He” refers to the commander. This is more applicable to the story, as Offred constantly has to tiptoe around Commander Fred and be careful that she isn’t being watched. The “He” could also be an Eye, as we have only ever heard Offred speculate on men being Eyes, never women. Throughout all three examples, the title represents the natural fear of authority and control that Gilead instills in all of the people being oppressed by it.

For my second Lit Log on The Handmaid’s Tale, I decided to write about a section of the story that resonates with me. The section in question takes place during the beginning of Chapter 25.

Offred wakes up, halfway in her cupboard instead of in bed. Cora was in the room, dropping the breakfast tray because of the sight before her. She thought Offred had run off, or even died.

After both of the women recollected themselves, Cora started to clean up the spilled food. They knew that too many questions would surround them if anybody knew about this incident. “I saw that it would be better if we could both pretend I’d eaten my breakfast after all [p.152],” Offred thought to herself.

Cora tells Offred that she’ll say the tray was dropped on the way out. That she’ll lie for her. “It pleased me that she was willing to lie for me, even in such a small thing, even for her own advantage. It was a link between us [p.152].”

This section stood out to me, as I’ve experienced links like this before. Links that are specific from person-to-person. Links that aren’t exactly in spite of someone or something else, but in support of dealing with them. They are often out of dishonesty, like this incident with Cora and Offred. But in return, a link between yourself and another will always make you closer.

My strongest example would be with my brother and our dad. My dad often checks my room during the evening to make sure that I’m doing my homework. Doesn’t matter which type of homework I’m doing, just that I’m doing it. One day though, I suppose he was just lazy because he decided to yell across the hallway instead of walking over.

“Is Xavier doing his work?” he shouted.

At that time, my brother and I were chatting and laughing about something random, being unproductive. I was at my desk with my computer shut, and he was sitting on my bed. I knew that I should have started my work by now. In fact, it was after 5:30 and my alarm for it had already gone off. What my brother did next surprised me, though.

“Yeah, he is.” my brother said to my dad. “He is doing his work.”

This moment is the connection I made to The Handmaid’s Tale. My brother pretty much lied for me, even though it wouldn’t have cost much for him to tell my dad the truth. “Even in such a small thing.”

It does get more complicated than that, however. While I didn’t start my homework, my brother was also the one conversing with me in the first place. It’s similar to how Cora would’ve never dropped her tray if Offred had just gone to sleep as normal. They were both factors in this situation. They were in this together. There was a link.

Between the story and my own experience, the actual stakes have both similarities and differences. Offered mentioned that “Rita would get surly if she had to cook a second breakfast [p.152],” and the same would go for my dad if he had to tell me himself to do my work. But then I would have to ask, why would they get “surly?”

With my dad, it’s about discipline and integrity. Being able to have responsibility on my own, for when I eventually leave this house and live my own life. Or at least prove to him that I have responsibility, rather. With Rita, however, it could be more due to the world they are living in. Gilead is such a stricter and ordered place than the one we live in now. It’s more run by fear than integrity. I would argue integrity barely matters at all, actually, with the clubs and Mayday resistance existing. But with so many live-or-death decisions surrounding these characters, little mishaps like ruining a breakfast simply can’t afford to happen as much as they do in real life. They have to be hidden.

Knowing the consequences of the truth, significant or insignificant, is what I believe creates the strongest link between people. The link is especially evident when they do not have to tell each other about the consequences directly. Sometimes–even if the means of achieving them are dishonest–there are just better outcomes. Both of the people involved, those people that have a link, will know that.

“Well, get to it.” my brother said, walking out of my room.

A Handmaid’s Playlist

The Wall - STOP TRYING TO BE GOD by Travis Scott In the first few chapters of The Handmaid’s Tale Offred and Ofglen come upon The Wall. A large wall of stone, with bodies hung from hooks sprawled across it. The wall represents power and the extreme control that the Republic of Gilead has over individuals, especially the handmaids. In “STOP TRYING TO BE GOD,” Scott reflects on the dangers of trying to play an omnipotent role, the illusion of control, and the consequences of overreaching one’s power. This closely corresponds with themes in The Handmaid’s Tale because the Republic attempts to play “God” by controlling the bodies of the handmaids and every aspect of their lives. Scott says, “It’s never love, no matter what you try,” which connects to parts of the novel where the higher-ups try and play off the strict commandments of the government as love and good for them. They would use the media or pornographic magazines to dismay the handmaids, trying to convince them that the old world was worse and that they were better off now. Offred talks about a specific moment when she was looking for her daughter and they tell her that “She’s in good hands,” and “With people who are fit,” (39). The Republic of Gilead continues to play “God” and Scott advises against that in his song because “they might never see it coming back.”

The Birth - Drew Barrymore by SZA In The Handmaid’s Tale, the handmaids are used as vessels to carry the children of their Commander. The time it takes for one of them to become impregnated varies but eventually, one handmaid will become pregnant and the day of the birth will come due. They treat the births of the handmaids very ritualistically, chanting and mimicking the breathing of the handmaid as she attempts to bring the child into the world. The handmaids are forced to give birth under oppressive conditions, where their bodies are controlled, and the act of childbirth is stripped of its personal meaning. The handmaids aren’t even allowed to name their child and that power falls to the wife of the commanders. In “Drew Barrymore,” SZA expresses feelings of insecurity, worthlessness, and not being in control of her own worth or value, themes that reflect the emotional isolation and objectification that the handmaids experience. Lines like, “Is it warm enough for you inside me?” or “I get so lonely, I forget what I’m worth,” mirror the emotional impact of what being a handmaid is like. While “Drew Barrymore” is a more personal experience, its exploration of self-worth and vulnerability parallel the emotional trauma and loss of identity that the handmaids endure.

Alone With The Commander - No Role Modelz by J. Cole Between chapters 22-25, Offred begins meeting the Commander after dark. Their interactions are all very strange and new for Offred because she knows he is breaking some of the laws he put into place to spend time with her. Most surprising of all for her is that during his time alone with her out of everything he could ask, he asked to play Scrabble. Their relationship through the next few meetings changes slowly and the Commander becomes more intimate as Offred begins to become more worried about someone noticing or the Commander suddenly changing his mind about their scheduled time together. The song “No Role Modelz,” by J. Cole closely relates to the themes of power dynamics, manipulation, and exploitation of Offred during her time with the Commander. In the song, Cole reflects on the stupidity of relationships, manipulation, and the emptiness of power-driven interactions. The relationship between Offred and the Commander is full of manipulation and how the Commander uses his position of power to draw Offred into a personal-like relationship outside her regular duties, blurring the lines between consent and coercion. Some lines from the song like “Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved,” touch on the false sense of “saving” that the Commander thinks he’s providing to Offred by treating her special, like playing Scrabble, giving her small gifts, or taking her out even though she is still trapped in oppression. Another strong line from the song is, “Fool me one-time shame on you, fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you,” reflects Offred’s growing awareness of the Commander’s manipulation, as she becomes more disillusioned with the Commander and the false sense of security he tries to offer.

Offred & Nick - L$D by A$AP Rocky Offred and Nick’s relationship is ever-growing throughout the book. It went from simple interactions to small contact, to a deeper connection between the two. Most of the rest came due to Serena Joy suggesting Nick as a replacement for the commander as she knows that he has a better chance of impregnating her than the commander. “L$D” by A$AP Rocky (which stands for Love, Sex, and Dreams) explores themes of passionate but complicated love, confusion, and emotional intensity—feelings that mirror Offred’s ever-growing feelings for Nick. Their relationship in the earlier chapters is secretive and contributes to the idea of forbidden desires, which fits the emotional ambiguity captured in “L$D.” Rocky blends emotional and physical desire in his song and their relationship begins with a sense of physical need but develops into a more emotional bond. Her interactions with Nick offer her an escape from Gilead’s oppressive reality, giving her a brief feeling of control. In the song, there’s a sense of escaping into love and desire, as Rocky compares his relationship to a drug-induced haze. His use of the lines, “I introduce her to this hippy life, we make love under pretty lights,” and “Make no mistakes, it’s all, a leap of faith for love, it takes place in, feelin’ that you crave doin’ love, sex, dreams,” capture the dreamy, intense, and slightly surreal mix with the danger, desire, and emotional uncertainty that defines Offred and Nick’s relationship in the earlier parts of The Handmaid’s Tale.

   The Handmaid's Tale - United in Grief by Kendrick Lamar

Throughout the entire novel, the handmaids deal with oppressive societal factors that change how they live their lives. Each handmaid has gone through some form of nonconsensual matters and dealt with difficult moments that caused them to become who they are. “United in Grief,” by Kendrick Lamar is the start of his album “Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers” and serves as an intro to Lamar’s therapy journey, detailing his faults and insecurities. The song starts with a voice saying to “tell them the truth,” and “tell them your truth,” which relates to how the handmaids want to hear the voices of each other and want to be able to tell their own truth but can’t because of Gilead. Lamar says, “I’ve been goin’ through somethin’ one thousand, eight hundred and 55 days, I’ve been going’ through something,” which connects to how each of the handmaids is going through some form of oppression for a long time and still can’t speak out against it. Every handmaid feels stuck in the societal norms of Gilead, united in grief.

STOP TRYING TO BE GOD - https://youtu.be/AcXp7m1g5yE?si=Gr1Bl31P1vuoss5l

Drew Barrymore - https://youtu.be/gANgH6gmWh4?si=QCy3c0rDJY7-_rMU

No Role Modelz - https://youtu.be/0EnRK5YvBwU?si=Zyb8pWJuF9YNEbqB

L$D - https://youtu.be/GEgkA3sXk7c?si=3QpsTPKMpj4k0xqd

United in Grief - https://youtu.be/tvNSXS4x9nc?si=fB_2ZjjCHLJhzbi9

While reading The Handmaid’s Tale, the Pages 134–137 makes me wonder, what makes a story worth telling? What makes a story believable and different from the rest of the crowd? Something that makes me wonder this and not only that, but, relate to it is when Offered said this; “It’s impossible to say a thing exactly the way it is, because what you say can never be exact, you always have to leave something out, there are too many parts, sides, crosscurrents, nuances, too many gestures, which could mean this or that, too many shapes which can never be fully described, too many flavors, in the air or on the tongue, half-colors, too many.” q. – 134. This made me think back onto what my Grandma said. I remember a time where my Mother was trying to figure out who drank her soda and I got so frustrated although I didn’t do it, but my Grandmother said to me, “As long as you didn’t do it, you have nothing to be worried about, no matter how many times you get accused of it.” And in this moment when reading this chapter that’s all that filled my mind. Page 136 is where I started to question things and I started to feel intrigued but not in a happy way. In the middle section of the chapter, before reading it, what catches my attention is when Offred says, “We are for breeding purposes: we aren’t concubines, geisha girls, courtesans. On the contrary: everything has been done to remove us from that category. There is supposed to be nothing entertaining about us, no room is to be permitted for the flowering of secret lusts; no special flavors are to be wheedle, by them or us, there are to be no toeholds wombs, that’s all: sacred vessels, ambulatory chalices. So why does he want to see me, at night, alone?” and that made me feel uneasy. What did she mean? That’s all I could think of at first but as I took notes and really thought more about this; Offred was right. To me she was objectifying herself but she was also correct. In Gilead the women are used for pleasure, entertainment, and labor, and not only that but many of them are brainwashed into believing that this is how life is supposed to be due to God wanting this for women, while as for the rest, they believe that they are being punished or put through a test or lesson. As I continue reading page 136, Offred states how she could become an “Un-Woman”, what is that? She refers to this after saying how if she’d get caught by Serena Joy (SJ). She then states that if she chooses to not see the Commander, there could be worse consequences that come her way. I guess this would make sense because he has more power than her, their dynamic is awkward, sometimes it seems like the Commander has less power than she does, but that’s for another moment. “There’s no doubt who holds the real power,” Offred quotes on page 136. Something that I did think about was how Offred says that the Commander must be weak or expressing a weakness, to want something is to be weak. “But there must be something he wants, from me. To want is to have a weakness. It’s this weakness, whatever it is, that entices me. It’s like a small crack in a walk, before now impenetrable. If I press my eye to it, this weakness of his, I may be able to see my way clear. I want to know what he wants.” What I find to be intriguing about this is the more we read into Offred’s mind, the more she talks about how she’s never been in the forbidden room, not even Serena Joy (SJ) has been inside of this room. And not only that, it’s only ever cleaned by the Guardians. On page 137, Offred describes the room, but then says how she might just cry and the Commander seems very empathetic. Like huh? This confused me. I thought Commanders were supposed to be stern and clear with their intent– only follow orders. He gives her a frown and offers her a seat, he literally pulls the chair out for her to sit. He then smiles at her and she describes it as a normal smile… nothing suspicious. I fell off– what did he really want from Offred and why was he only doing this to her? What made her different from the rest? What made her stand out?

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood addresses how people around you can greatly influence you into doing something you aren’t too comfortable doing just for their benefit. In the book, Serena Joy is trying her best to manipulate Offred to cheat on the Commander with Nick. Serena Joy is getting very impatient with the Commander, who has not been able to get Offred pregnant. But Offred was not comfortable with it because she knew that she couldn’t get pregnant by anyone that isn’t the Commander. After all, if it came out, it could leave her with a great punishment, which could even lead to death. We see this kind of manipulation most clearly in the scene where Serena Joy tells Offred that she is getting impatient with her and that the Commander is still not able to get Offred pregnant. So Serena comes up with a plan that Offred would have an affair and get pregnant by somebody else. Offred is hesitant because she tells Serena, “It’s against the law. You know the penalty,” which is exile to the colonies and death. This is when the manipulation begins. Serena helps ease Offred by saying “Women do it frequently. All the time.” Serena is saying that she wants to use Offred even if it puts Offred at huge risk. Serena is minimizing the risks of this illegal act by the old “everybody does it” logical fallacy. “But it’s done,” Serena says as a way of providing proof that they can get away with it successfully. She offers Ofwarren as a successful example. She doesn’t, however, mention any times when this kind of plan went wrong, which is why this is her manipulating Offred by leaving out any possibility that they will get caught. Then, Serena manipulates her further by saying that Serena would make sure they didn’t get caught. Then, she adds, “The Wife knew, of course… .I will help you. I would make sure nothing went wrong.” Of course, there are no guarantees that she could do this, and if they did get caught she would deny everything and only Offred would be punished. Offred is pulled into the plan by Serena’s manipulation, even to the point where she imagines that they are only girlfriends who are talking about boys. “…for this moment at least we are cronies, this could be a kitchen table, it could be a date we’re discussing, some girlish stratagem of ploys and flirtation.” Serena has no interest in Offred’s well-being, she’s only using this to make more of a reason for Offred to trust her by making it seem like they are in the same team working together when in reality they never could be friends because of the widely different roles they play. She continues with the “we are in this together” attitude when Offred asks, “What about the Commander?” Serena replies, “We just won’t tell him, will we?” Serena reassures Offred that she has this planned out and that they will have each other’s backs no matter what.
Of course, Offred has her reasons for wanting this plan. She knows that if she doesn’t get pregnant soon they will blame her and send her off to the colonies anyway, and she is attracted to Nick, who Serena suggests as the possible one to get her pregnant. But even here, we can see Serena’s manipulation. Serena must know that Offred is attracted to him, and she might even have used him before, as Offred suspects: “Is this what he always gets, in return” for running black-market errands, Offred wonders. Serena has essentially hemmed Offred in while making it seem they both came up with this plan and agreed to it, even though Offred has no real choice. If she says no, Serena could accuse her of all sorts of things. If she doesn’t get pregnant, bad things will happen, and if she goes through with it, the consequences are just as bad. Throughout the book, Serena uses her influence on people to get what she desires, without care or thought about how it can harm others in the long term.

While reading “The Handmaid’s Tale” Written by Margaret Atwood, I was specifically intrigued by a certain passage in the book. This specific section runs from page 225-227 and it is a scene where Offred, the main character, speaks on love and how she experienced it. This particular section sparked my interest because of the lack of love throughout Gilead. Yeah the wives “love” their Commanders, but for the most part, it seems as though the Commanders don’t necessarily love their wives according to Offred’s perspective on love, and my personal perspective on the concept of love. Offred’s commander, also known as Serena Joy’s husband has been secretly having Offred come and visit him, and he’d ask Offred for kisses, and indirectly ask for sexual relations with Offred. The commander stole Serena Joy’s costumes and makeup, and used them for Offred, to show her off at a nightclub earlier on in the book. In the specific section I chose to examine, the commander originally suggests that they speak about love, something that is somewhat “forbidden” in the world of Gilead. When reading, I thought it was strange. Why is the Commander speaking on a forbidden subject? Offred goes on to explain that she in fact enjoys speaking about love, because of her “experience” with love. On 225 she states “That’s better. That’s something I know about. We can talk about that.” This quote is suggesting that she loved before she became a handmaid. Throughout the novel Offred speaks a lot about a man named Luke. They were a couple, and they had a child together. She enjoys reminiscing about Luke and their good memories, but when it becomes bad memories, she seems to not enjoy that. Just like she analyzes her past memories and experiences with Luke, she analyzes the idea of love. Also on 225 Atwood writes, “Falling in love. I said. Falling into it, we all did then, one way or another…It was the central thing.; it was the way you understood yourself; If it never happened to you, not ever, you would be like a mutant, a creature from outer space. Everyone knew that.” When analyzing this quote it made me realize that in the world of Gilead, before the government shut down and everything changed, love was normalized. Everyone was either in love, or had loved before, and if you weren’t in love, you were inhumane. She then goes on to note that falling for “him” was so “dire, extreme and unlikely.” Those three important words suggest that maybe REAL love was hard to find, but fake love just to “fit in” or “look the part” was the love that everyone was experiencing. When reading The Handmaid’s Tale, it’s hard to miss the religious aspects of the story. Offred states that “God is Love.” This represents the power that love holds on people. Offred was a hard lover in her past life because of the things she did to protect herself and her family. Pre- Gilead times, Offred, Luke and their daughter were trying to escape and Offred gave her daughter sleeping medication, so they’d have a better chance at saving themselves when crossing the border. On page 84, in chapter 14 Atwood wrote “ And I don’t want her to feel frightened, to feel the fear that’s now tightening my muscles, tensing my spine, pulling me so taut that I’m certain I would break if touched.” This is a scene where we can tell Offred is trying to protect her loved ones, and that her love for Luke, and her daughter was so strong. On page 226 through 227, Offred describes the three different scenarios of love. The type that comes and goes and is hard to remember, the act of falling in love, and abusive love. Offred states “you’d wake up in the middle of the night, when the moonlight was coming through the window onto his sleeping face… Likely you would think at those times: What if he doesn’t love me.”(226). Offred categorizes love because these are the ways she’s experienced love. Through this quote you can see that she has a lot of thoughts at night, just like throughout the novel, Offred would have her worst inner thoughts at nighttime. She tells herself not to believe the negative thoughts. He is in fact in love with you, she forced herself to believe. But maybe this isn’t true. On page 144, Aunt Lydia said “Men are sex machines. They only want one thing. You must learn to manipulate them, for your own good.” Is “your own good” love? The feeling of love? From reading this passage I can infer that women love to feel love, and love to be in love, even if that means sacrificing things like your emotional health? On 226 Offred says, “But all of that[the inner thoughts] was pertinent only in the night, and had nothing to do with the man you loved, at least in daylight. With that man you want it to work, to work out.” Offred was saying that the thoughts go away during the day because people want this idea of love to work out. Even if your thoughts are right. Even if the love isn’t there. Overall when reading this section, it made me see that in the world of Gilead, love is depicted differently, and from reading I could see just how complicated love is, and there is no real answer to the famous question of “What’s love?”

“You can wet the rim of a glass and run your finger around the rim and it will make a sound. This is what I feel like: this sound of glass. I feel like the word shatter.” - page 103

The mind is a strange thing. It can use coping methods to make it through difficult times, but it can also delude. It can provide peace and solace, but it can also run amok with anxiety and stress about the future. The brain is so complex that it would be difficult to represent with a single image, but we try nonetheless. The artwork I created is an attempt to unpack the mind of Offred as the end of the narrative approaches.

Throughout the book, Offred uses the word “shatterproof” in relation to windows five times (as of the current reading)—on pages 8, 12, 52, and twice on 167. She mentions the word “shatter” even more often, and this repetition of her fixation on broken glass served as the main inspiration for this piece. Each shard of glass illustrates a different aspect of her mind—a memory, a thought to the future, or a single word—and at the center of the fragments is Offred herself, her internal exhaustion shown through her weary eyes. When initially drawing Offred’s face, I did not intend to make her appear old or wrinkled, but I feel that the final appearance connects strongly to how she sees herself as a Handmaid. She mentions on page 199 that “being a woman this way is how 1 used to imagine it would be to be very old.”

For the overall aesthetic of the artwork, I chose to use an airbrush to create vague, blurred shapes in each shard of glass. This decision allowed me to be more abstract with the artwork, and it was also a strong way to illustrate that these ideas floating around in Offred’s head are only reconstructions, not completely true representations of her thoughts or experiences. This, as a motif, is repeated several times in the narrative by Offred herself, so I felt that it would be important to refrain from creating crisp, clear images in the artwork.

The piece on the bottom right depicts a swarm of tiny Handmaids around the word “MAYDAY.” This is a representation of the Mayday rebellion, a mostly disorganized group of Handmaids that are trying to find a way to work against Gilead. Introduced to her through Ofglen, another Handmaid, Offred wants to help them by feeding information and doing what she can in her restrictive life. Another piece shows tendrils of smoke rising from a fire covering a house, a manifestation of Offred’s thoughts about burning the Commander’s house down and escaping: “Such a fine thought, it makes me shiver. An escape, quick and narrow” (209)

The remaining pieces contrast this looking forward, however; they represent Offred’s growing feeling of despair and powerlessness as she loses pieces of her past and is forced to reckon with her reality in Gilead. For example, one piece is an image of the Commander’s face, surrounded by Scrabble pieces that spell “Zilch.” Offred does directly spell out this word while playing Scrabble with the Commander on page 183, but I felt that it was a strong metaphor; zilch is defined as zero or nothing, and I used it to represent the idea that Offred feels helpless, both over her future and in the structure of Gilead as a whole.

Directly to the right of this, another shard of glass shows several twisting lengths of rope criss crossing through a dark void. In the background, the vague shape of a noose can be seen. This imagery was used to encompass all of Offred’s thoughts about the Handmaid that lived in her room before she did. She was initially a beacon of hope for Offred, leaving behind the message “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum,” meaning “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” (187). However, Offred later discovers through the Commander that the Handmaid hung herself to escape the dark reality of Gilead. She had held this Handmaid in her mind as an almost mythical figure, seeing her as an inspiration, and this news took that away. “Fat lot of good it did her,” she remarks later in the story. “Why fight?” (225).

Above these, the next fragment depicts Ofwarren, the pregnant Handmaid shown in an earlier stage of the book. I included this to represent Offred’s thoughts on her place as a Handmaid, but also as a reminder that she does not have much time left to fulfill her “purpose” in this society, the one enforced upon her by Gilead: giving birth. This idea is reinforced several times throughout the narrative by a variety of characters, from her doctor (page 61) to Serena Joy (page 204), and this serves to encourage Offred to do whatever it takes to have a child, even if she does not want to. She has little agency in the grand scheme of things, and this erodes her sense of self.

Another piece depicts blurred white figures with a faint glow. This represents Offred’s memories of her family before Gilead, of Luke and their daughter—on page 193, she attempts to remember them, but “they fade, though I stretch out my arms towards them, they slip away from me, ghosts at daybreak.” This is an attempt to look into the past, to fall back on fond reminiscence, but it doesn’t work; Offred has been overtaken by Gilead and cannot go back.

The glass shard in the top right corner shows the photo of Offred’s daughter that she receives from Serena Joy on page 228. She had been hoping to find her, even just see her one more time, for the entire story, but when she is given the photo, this optimism melts away. “You can see it in her eyes: I am not there,” she thinks. “I can’t bear it, to have been erased like that” (228). The word “OBLITERATED” floats above the photo, emphasizing that Offred feels her daughter has forgotten her. This is one of the most powerful pieces of imagery in the story, and it is one of the most effective at battering down Offred’s hope for the future. This goal she had been searching for the entire book has, in her eyes, been for nothing.

Finally, directly above Offred’s head is a piece that shows a pair of rabbit ears on a headband. This is a reference to her final encounter with Moira at Jezebel’s, where Offred discovers that she has been . “She is frightening me now,” Offred thinks, “because what I hear in her voice is indifference, a lack of volition” (249). Moira has been a rebellious figure for the entire story, and has served as an inspiration for Offred as she worked with Ofglen and the Commander. In this final interaction, however, that spirit has been taken out of her, and this is one of the most damaging losses in the story. “I don’t want her to be like me. Give in, go along, save her skin… I want gallantry from her, swashbuckling, heroism, single-handed combat. Something I lack.” Another figure of hope in her life has been reduced, has lost an important piece of themselves, and this drives the stake of hopelessness even deeper into Offred’s mind.

This artwork is a culmination of Offred’s experiences in the story, a combination of little hopes and large despairs. I do not know what lies ahead for Offred, but I do not see a happy ending as very likely, given her loss of hope and agency.

California Dreamin - The Mamas & The Papas

https://youtu.be/J4DmU_On6ag

This song, originally released during the time of the Vietnam War, would serve as the theme for Offred’s walks with Ofglen around Gilead. There are many connections between the lyrics and the story. While a lot of the story so far has taken place during the summer, the opening lyrics of California Dreamin, which refer to poor winter weather, are still reasonable, because these scenes will likely be repeated in winter time, and either way, the lyrics refer to a dark time, which is what Offred feels like she is living through. “I’d be safe and warm, If I was in LA” refers to Offred thinking about the Before Times, and how she used to be ‘safe and warm’, with LA representing Luke. Lastly, the line “And I pretend to pray”, perfectly describes how Offred thought about Testifying at the Red Center. “At Testifying, it’s safer to make things up than to say you have nothing to reveal.” (71). This mentality goes with the same idea of pretending to pray.

FE!N - Travis Scott

https://youtu.be/U-l4ya3ejko

The main chorus of this song is simply the word fein repeated, meaning a person that has an addiction to something. For the Handmaid’s Tale, this would be the theme to play in the club, with the representation of the ‘fein’ being the Commanders and other wealthy men present. They are addicted to women and sex, which in this world is as bad as being addicted to an illegal drug, since these people in power are the ones that made lust and passionate sex illegal in the first place. Additionally, FE!N makes a good addition to the playlist because of how some of the lyrics connect to the book. “The career’s more at stake when you in your prime” represents how Offred’s physical prime is soon coming to an end, meaning she will be cast off when she is no longer viable to have children. Another lyric is “In the night, come alive”, describing how Offred’s thoughts are often the most lively when she is in her room at night.

Mii Channel Theme - Kazumi Totaka

https://youtu.be/x2NzoLMWAwQ

This is a video game console’s background theme, about as boring as it gets. This represents some of the monotonicity of Offred’s life as a Handmaid, and specifically her experience with the Ceremony. In Chapter 16, the reader’s first impression of Offred’s feelings about her sex ceremony with the Commander are not positive. Many times throughout that chapter, the sex is described as boring: “The Ceremony goes as usual” (93), “This is serious business” (95), “If he were better looking would I enjoy this more?” (95). This same way, the song is a repetitive, boring process that only serves as a stepping stone to something else. The Mii Channel Theme is only played when the video game’s player is loading in, waiting to do something, and as a result, waiting for the music to end. The experience is the same for Offred in the Ceremony; she is simply waiting for it to end.

Quest Ah Dog - lolalumikola ft. Don Pollo (overlaid on Victory - Thomas Bergersen)

https://youtu.be/ZkfGkQVhQUU

This short theme creates a feeling of chaos and confusion to the listener, with many different audio tracks overlaid on a background song. Additionally, this song can also make any event that happened immediately before it feel more magnified. These are similar emotions that Offred feels at some important moments in the book. The first example was in the doctor’s office in Chapter 11, when the doctor offered to impregnate Offred himself. Upon this offer being made, a multitude of thoughts go through the Handmaid’s head (60-61): “Does he know something, has he seen Luke, […] can he bring back?”; “Is that his hand, sliding up my leg? He’s taken off the glove”; “I almost gasp: he’s said a forbidden word”. The shock that Offred feels in this scene can also be well represented by the “What da hell” lyric from Quest Ah Dog. The second example, from Chapter 31, was when Serena Joy offered her Handmaid a picture of her daughter in exchange for procreation with Nick. As Offred thought “She’s known all along” (206), a similarly fast flow of chaotic thoughts entered her head, once again repeating the theme of Quest Ah Dog.

Anakin’s Betrayal (from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith) - John Williams

https://youtu.be/m2p-im7cxa4

This is a movie theme from a moment when many heroes died. I connected this to Chapter 18, when Offred imagines all of the various possibilities of what happened to Luke after they got separated. This would be the theme for that flashback/vision. The music gets its loudest when Offred thinks: “I pray that the hole, or two or three, […], I pray that at least one hole is neatly, quickly, and finally through the skull, […], only the one and then silence.” (104). This idea of Luke dying immediately, as well as all of the thoughts Offred has about Luke being in pain, would be well represented by this sadder theme.

A lot of times I sit up in my room at night simply staring at my ceiling fan watching it spin. I’ve always thought that it was pretty weird but I just couldn’t stop myself from doing it. While I’m sitting there my brain is constantly just thinking and thinking about everything and anything: what i’m going to eat the next day, where I put my favorite hoodie, even the fact that the same water now is the same water like 1 million years ago. With these thoughts the same question arises: what is my purpose, my future?
With in the Book The Handmaid’s Tale I believe that I share a similar thought process as Offred within the text. Now I’m not able to understand the feeling of being in a totalitarian society where women are only cared for by their ability to have children but I am able to understand the feeling of not knowing what your true purpose is or feeling like your life isn’t in your own hands. “When I get out of here if I’m ever able to set this down, in any form, even in the form of one voice to another… (134) This quote comes from chapter 23 where Offred refers to her “story” as a reconstruction that not everything she’s saying is 100% her own or 100% the truth. I really was able to see this within myself. Almost everything I tell people or others about me doesn’t feel truly real or authentic. I sit sometimes and think about everything that I’m doing under my own volition, do I really want to do these things? I still can’t fully grasp that feeling as most of the time I feel what I’m doing is right and what I want to do. If I were to try and go to other people they’d probably think I’m crazy which I guess is why I stay up at night just talking to myself in an empty audience.
Offred encapsulates this idea when anytime in the book the next section is called night. I paralleled that to myself as she sits in her room talking to the reader or thinking to herself. “ I feel very unreal, talking to You like this. I feel as if I’m talking to a wall. I wish You’d answer. I feel so alone.” (195) I never really could explain these thoughts to other people as it felt like I was talking to someone in another language. The idea that I don’t know my purpose sounds so foreign but is something that I definitely think other people think all the time. Yet like Offred I feel alone when I try to explain it, talking to an empty void with that void also being myself.
“Nothing new under the sun” my dad would say everything that you have thought of has probably been thought by someone else. Whenever he would tell me this I would hate it because to me it really meant nothing I could do would be original or my own thinking. It made me believe that everything I thought of was probably conditioned by someone else. Like when Offred brings up the stories she can and can’t tell. “It isn’t a story I’m telling. It’s also a story I’m telling, in my head, as I go along.” (39) When I first read this I immediately thought to myself how I constantly try to make sense of if everything I see, think, feel is truly me, or is it someone else. While also reading this I made more sense of how I better understand my place in the world which I think both me and Offred relate to.
This idea of a reconstruction or not being able to find your purpose is simply an idea that only puts forth what you put back into it. So constantly thinking about how your story isn’t your own is only putting you in the mindset of exactly that. Everything that we are living through is “Our story” even though it may not 100% feel like it. Almost like a reconstruction. Each person is living and contributing some way to their “story” even with the influences of others. Like Offred I see myself constantly asking these questions trying to uncover why I think this way even though for Offred it’s a bit more self explanatory. We both try to find the truth but also know that it doesn’t come in one nice recipe book but much more of one big jumbled mess with many begrudging questions in between.

My artwork shows how the handmaids are being watched every second they can be. It represents many different scenes in the book “The Handmaid’s Tale” has many different scenes that shows different characters that watch the handmaids at all times. Those characters being, The Eyes, Wives, and the Aunts. But for this specific piece of artwork I mainly wanted to focus on the “Eyes” of the story. The eyes are the secret police of Gilead. They are the ones who watch everything in Gilead. The eyes are tasked with surveillance and enforcing the laws of the state often to intimidation and violence. The job of the eyes in the Gilead world is to create an atmosphere of fear and paranoia among anyone that might be informed of the real world.

In this art piece I am representing Offred (in the hands), being watched by a bunch of eyes around her. The line “The Kidnapping I Can’t Escape,” is on top of her face disguising the fact that she can never escape. I added the hands around “Offred” representing bars, and barriers where she can’t escape “Gilead.” Around the hands at the top I added angels, with eyes. These represent the “Angels” in the story. Angels are Soldier 24 in order to protect the state but they operate more openly on our less involvement in persuasive surveillance.

I added eyes on top of these angels in my artwork because I wanted to represent that they are both forms of restriction in Gilead. The rest of the images on my artwork mostly show how the women in Gilead are treated by the “hierarchy” which is being silenced. The picture of the woman on the left side. Her eyes are being covered by the words , “ive now come to understand the same thing about trauma :happy, well adjusted people are all different. The traumatized are exactly alike.” I wanted to represent how the women in Gilead are being silenced and brainwashed on their traumatic experiences when living and working in Gilead.

In the book “The Handmaid’s Tale” there are many different examples of surveillance and watching in Gilead that represent my artwork. Offred says “There’s something I want to say, but its like the saying of it will cost me something.” (page number) In this quote Offred explains how she wants to say something, but she has this worrying feeling that she will be caught, and punished for what she will say. It develops a fear in Offred, constant surveillance all the time, making her cautious of what she says all the time, in order to avoid being brutally punished for having her different opinions and thoughts.

Ultimately, I created this collage as my art piece to show or depict how Offred, and the Handmaids in general, are being monitored and watched all the time in Gilead. It expresses the art form of the control and paranoia Offred is constantly being in. The reason why I chose to depict the “Eyes” in my art piece was because the eyes play a huge part and role in the story. Its significant to the story, and to Offred because it shows us that there is a higher power, and makes the structure of the people who are in power. We see how controlling the “Eyes” are, by seeing how afraid Offred is just by saying the wrong things. This is important because we see the root of why so many women are afraid to speak up in Gilead.

For my art piece, I made a digital sketch overlaid with a watercolor brush that was inspired by two small quotes found in The Handmaid’s Tale written by Margaret Atwood. The first quote can be found in chapter 18 of the book, “ … flickering like images of saints, in old foreign cathedrals”. This inspired me for the shape and background of the image which was supposed to model a piece of stained glass that one could find in an old foreign cathedral. The main focus of my training came from a quote in chapter 25. “ Saint Serna, on her knees, doing penance”. This gave me inspiration for “Saint Serena” who I sketched in a nun garb in the Commander’s Wife blue with a halo around her head and a small shovel in her hand. The reason I chose these two quotes for inspiration is because of the religious imagery they both convey. Throughout the reading, I have found a fair bit of religious imagery scattered all through the book so far. And in my annotations of the first quote I wrote, “I am always very intrigued by religious imagery especially the way Atwood writes it; somehow subtle and overt at the same time”. I went to catholic school from pre-k all the way through 8th grade. Though I can say that sometimes the experiences I had in the catholic school system were memorable in a positive way, I can also say for a fact that the idea of God was shoved down my throat so much that I eventually threw it up; God was a person or entity that I had no wish to think about or interact with. Even through all of the turmoil and in some cases trauma that I went through in Catholic school, my enjoyment of religious imagery never dwindled. My complicated relationship with the church as a whole never stopped me from appreciating one church in a moment, the beauty of the architecture, and the images of Christ embedded in stained glass. These images were so wondrous and grand to me that I never really doubted the sanctity of a church until I stepped foot outside of it. Eventually, I started to understand why I found these images of faith and belief and religion to be so powerful even though I was actively unsubscribing from them; I saw a strange fascination with the worship of something I knew not to be real to me. Staring at the carved marble of the Holy Father in awe knowing that to me He wasn’t real but being moved to tears by the fact someone more than likely driven only by faith put so much time care and attention into displaying a beautiful image of Him and watching people knelt in front of Him, rosaries in hand doing the sign of the cross. I am by no means a faith-oriented person and I think that’s what makes religious imagery that is done in a quite beautiful fashion such as Atwood has spoken so closely to me. I may not feel the same pull to religion that other people do but when I see these beautiful pieces of art that are motivated by faith I am brought to a point where I can empathize with them on a much deeper level; their worship is shown to me in an enchanting fashion that makes me understand the depth of their faith more than any bible verse could.