Walking, thinking, dreaming and believing

Seeing, living, and not planning on leaving

Friends, enemy’s, love, hate,  Its all life

A future, a date, maybe a wife

and yet people tend to get upset

they cry moan, bid, and they bet

to me that’s a life, not so well spent

We come, and we go,

Only god will know

Were here, and gone

All we can do, is say so long

But trough and trough,

Its all but true

Its not just a lie

What we have,

Just wont die

Walking, thinking, dreaming and believing

Seeing, living and not planning on leaving

Friends, love, I’ts more than life

Kids, a job, and my lovely wife

Theres no need to get upset

Because I say, and I bet

My life, was well spent

Today, is my birthday

Everyone celebrates except for me

Days pass, and go away

Am I the only one to see

I’m getting older by the day

Before I know it, my hair will go grey

But one thing will always be the same

Other then me being really lame

Age can’t stop who we are

or all the miles, we came so far

Age, is just a number in a book

A book, that someone already took

And all the pages, taken away

The only ones left say

We met, we loved, we live on

Past the front lawn

Past these simple lives

Today is my birthday

Everyone celebrates except for me

Days pass, and go away

But I’ll remember what you say

Past these simple lives

My birthdays today

I’m out of time, and out of luck, and no one seems to give a fuck

They say its just fine here, they say at least we have beer

But I don’t wana go a single day without you, and baby they don’t have a clue

But baby, I can’t seem to pass, out of steam, and running out of gas

You say I’m losing you, but I’m trying my best to push on trough

Promise, after promise we made, we sat, and we layed

But all that time I was thinking too much, of how I had this hunch

I was never good enough for you, and baby we never had a clue

I’m out of gas, out of luck, and nobody ever gives a fuck

Stuck here in this one man town, acting like I’m a clown

But I don’t wana live without you hear, I don’t give a shit about this beer

Why do you say I can’t pass, when its you who made me run outa gas

You say I’m losing you, but you wont help me through

When all I ever said and did, was tell you it would be alright when you hid

I was always there for you, baby you know, yes you know its true

But I’m out of time, and I’m out of luck, and you never even really gave a fuck

They say its fine here, maybe I’ll drink a little beer

Because your always gonna just stand there, yeah, just stand, away from here

Based off of actual events observed in a police ride along, names were changed for protection.

Officer Daniels and his partner Woods were first on scene. The call came in about 8 minutes ago, the call first went to dispatch, who put it out as a priority a minute and a half later. It was a domestic dispute at first, but one of the suspects broke a bottle and slashed the other open. Daniels rushed to the house, the door was already open and there was a man standing there with a broken bottle in his hand, Daniels pulled his tazzer out and aimed it at the man “Put the bottle down now!”

            The man listen to him, but said no words. “Turn around, keep your hands up” Daniels continued. He took his cuffs off, and cuffed the man, who Daniels noticed was bleeding from the hands. Daniels partner went inside the house to deal with the other suspect. The ambulance pulled up and the medics rushed into the house while Daniels examed the mans hand. His partner Woods came out to recap the situation.

            “man insides cut up pretty good, he needs to be rushed to the hospital, mom only speaks Spanish, but the her little girls speak English pretty well, told me they always do this shit, the fight started over a game controller”

            “It’s always the stupid stuff huh?” Daniels answered. Woods nodded

            “I just feel bad for the poor girls, the one has to be about 14, their real upset”

            The medics moved the second suspect out into the ambulance, and Daniels put the cuffed man in the car. “he is going to need medical attention Woods, can you wait here until the sergeant pulls up, I’m sure he can give you a ride”

            “sure, but does that mean I get all the paper work too?”

            Daniels laughed “nah, just get what info you can, I got the paper work”, Daniels put the man in the back of his car, and got in the driver seat. “god damn paper work” he laughed, as he drove off, looking back into the mirror as he pulled away from the house, the house with the two little girls, and the blood on the game controller.

I wont leave, not for this, not for anything

I can’t promise you

Everything will be okay

But I can tell you

I wont go away

I’m here for you

For today

And its true

I wont go away

I’m here for you

Everyday

I wont go away

Is there meaning in the words I never say?

Do they have to be spoken to matter at all

I mean, you’re the one I think about all day

But there is always this damn wall in the way

It might seem like I’m a slow typer

But maybe I just delete what I was gonna say

Sometimes, I tend to get too hyper

Carried away with this feeling, how I feel for you

And there is always something wrong with me

I can write, but hell I can’t sing

But you say to let it be

But sometimes, I know your lying

Is there meaning in the words I never say?

Do they have to be spoken to matter at all

I mean, you’re the one I think about all day

But there is always this damn wall in the way

When you say its nothing

And I know Its something

When I say I want to be there for you

And you don’t need my help

What am I supposed to do

We have the kind of love that makes people puke

But when we have a disagreement its like a nuke  

And I don’t want to fight at all

So here I am, trying to break this wall

And I may have words, I don’t say

And that wont change, not ever, not today

But I’ll still fight forever for you

Is there meaning in the words I never say?

Do they have to be spoken to matter at all

I mean, you’re the one I think about all day

But there is always this damn wall in the way

Always, this damn wall

            After i jumped up with my gun and went into another section of the store with him, he quickly explained what he wanted with me “ its almost Christmas, and we don’t have a tree, or anything. I think after all we have been through we deserve a good Christmas.”

            I stared at him for a moment not really believing what he was asking me. I almost laughed but held it in. “john are you ok?” I knew he was serious so I didn’t even bother to ask.

            “yes,…well no..but that’s the point no one is really “ok”…. after we all saw ant and ally die….and then Nicole…that could have been any of us…. something died in all of us.” 

            Pain came into my thoughts as he said the word Nicole, I nodded “we all felt it john, the odd indescribable feeling, like we lost part of our selfs.”  I thought for a second and considered a Christmas in this place. It would be nice. “ok whats the plan to make this work?”

            “fade and gannon the cannon, they have been out there for a while, they know how to live out there, and they agreed to help us, only us four know about it.” I nodded. So far it seemed like a good idea, no one would argue that gannon and fade kick ass.

            “how do we know what to get people?”

            “ask, no one would actually expect anything, so just ask hypothetically” I nodded, this would work somehow, john was right. We needed to spread joy around here.

            Over the next few days we all get ready for going out, we asked people casually what they wanted.

            I almost cried when Eve and Dan both asked to see Dad, I did not know what to do. I think deep down they understood, but refused to believe their feelings “im sorry, but I don’t think dads going to make it this year” I told them they complained but they stopped when they saw my eyes starting to tear. They both hugged me.

            After a few days of, me and john, just asking everyone what they want we decided that we were ready. “a lot of sad answers, things we can’t actually get them”

             we both had  to ask our friends what they wanted, and we both got answers that upset us. It was still a while before Christmas, about a week and a half, but we wanted to get the shopping done early. The plan was that we would be ready in two days, we would all have different weapons, although fade insisted on using his sword, because it did not run out of ammo, and no one argued, after all he had a point. We all met in the weapons storage section of the store, where are the unused weapons were being used.  Gannon still had his glock 18, and happily found another one and loaded up on a lot of clips, John picked up a Simi-automatic rifle with a small scope, probably an acog I didn’t really look at it well enough, and of course his side arm, a glock 19. I wanted to use a shotgun, I grabbed a 20 gauge , figuring the 12 gauge would be too heavy, and there is only a slight difference in killing power. And of course my dads glock 19 with two clips.

            “damn, it would be fun to be using a world war two weapon now” I said out loud as I was viewing all the different rifles.

            “world war two?” Gannon asked curiously hearing this

            “yeah, its my favorite war…I was a war buff before the zombies” he looked at me and smirked

            “yeah, but that’s all teenage boys these days, I know I was…but world war two huh? That’s interesting”

            “yeah...”

I gave up before,

everyones a whore

no one meant for me

as far as I could see

A call one day

someone coming my way

so I said hey

don't ever go away 

Now I know

where I'll go

I go, with you

I know its true

and every word you say

reminds me everyday

how you love me so

so don't ever let me go

corny words

working towards 

a beautiful smile 

that lasts a while

and its all for you

and you know its true 

this love for you

and you feel it too

so take my hand

I'll help you stand

protect you

form feeling blue

your beautiful

in every way

mind and soul

so come this way

I'll hold you tight

and never let go

            “no man you’re a great brother, bad brothers get along” he smiled

            “well I guess your being a bad brother right now huh” we laughed

            “I guess so, but now’s a good time….i appreciate you taking over when I was…well you know.”

            “sure…can I ask you something”

            “sure”

            Jacob paused for a while. “how much do you like Jen” I laughed almost but kept it in

            “go for her man” Jacob looked up and smiled

            “thanks”

            shortly after looking at the guns I made a decision. So far this store had a entertainment room, a sleeping quarters , a food center, a parkour area. We even made a makeshift shower out of the water system. The electric still worked and the water still ran.  Even the internet worked, and xbox live had some people still online. It was really quite amazing. But if I thought about it eventually we will run out of supplies, eventually we will run out of everything. We need to learn how to survive. Before all of this I was a scout. I could shoot, and I could fight, but I can’t protect everyone.

            I walked over to the food court and found john was the only one eating at the time, “hey john, I want to call a meeting help me by telling people when your done?”

            “sure” he smiled “your coming up with your own ideas again?”

            “maybe” I smiled and walked away. Things were looking up. I still felt empty but at least I had once again found purpose.

            Eventually everyone gathered and I was able to talk to everyone. I explained my plan as best I could. We had guns, we had enough ammo to supply the U.S military, and we all had a will to kill. I was going to train them. All of them. John and ted would be in charge of the physical parts of it, and everyone will learn parkour, I would  be in charge of gun safety and how to shoot 101. Everyone was to be armed by the time they were trained. “we will have our own personal army by Christmas hopefully if we work hard enough”

            “why do we need this?” Dan my brother asked “arent we safe here?”

            “yes, but we can’t live here forever, or at least not without restocking.” the meeting was over, and I was tired, I went to lay down and just sat there. The one thing about a zombie infested world. Everybody’s an insomniac.

            “smit!” johns voice woke me up  and he seemed almost out of breath “ I need to talk to you! Its important!” my heart skipped a beat, and I nodded and reached for my gun.

I knew I was going to die, and 10 minutes ago I would have been ok with this, but the presents of others here made me realize that although I lost so much, and I still had that numb feeling, I still had reason to live, I still had something to protect. So as the man tightened his grip I fought with all my might to break free. At this point Ted had the gunman’s Glock 18 and Jacob was pointing the Glock 19 at the big mans head. “put my brother down” Jacob ordered. The man looked un-phased by this, but he looked back at his friend who was on the ground and took a deep sigh. Then the man released me. I fell to the ground and quickly rolled out of his way and bounced back up to my feet. I was ready to fight. The large man looked at me and then back at his friend. He walked over to his friend and picked him up, checked his pulse and then he sat him up. He looked down at his unconscious friend who was bleeding and drooling out the mouth looked down and shook his head. Then he sat next to his friend and put his hands on his face as though he had a headache. No one said anything. Julia and Ted were hugging each other, and Eve ran up to hug me, dan I could tell wanted to but his male pride stopped him from doing this. He was becoming like Jacob I thought.  Most of the other people were ether staring at me or glaring at the large man. 

            Eventually everyone slowly trickled into other parts of the store, the main door was now closed once again. Everyone kept their distance from the visitors. No one trusted them, a lot of them wanted me to go up to them and talk to them, but I was still feeling down. I was out of my space, and I was eating again, but I wasn’t back to normal, no I was far from it.

            I spent the next few days eating cold soup from cans in the store, people never asked why. We set up an entertainment section and I spent a lot of my time in there, playing violent video games.  It was somewhat ironic how I was the only one who still played the zombie games. No one was even remotely interested in those anymore

            we did not get into the habit of keeping track of dates and time, because none of that really mattered anymore. That’s why I was surprised when I looked at my phones calendar to see that it was almost December.

            Its odd but its also kind of interesting, if it was not for the deaths, this life would have been considered better then our old ones. No school, free access to a warehouse full of goods. It was paradise in hell. 

            “yo smitty” john came up behind me and cut into my thoughts, “that big guy and his friend asked to see our leader, and Im assuming that’s you?” I laughed

            “sure, someone has to do it” john smiled

            “its good to have you back man, me and ted set up a parkour area were we can practice, you should check it out. Remember its good for the soul” I laughed again. Parkour sounded good right now. I got up and started walking to meet the guys then I stopped and looked back.

            “john?”

            “ya?”

            “watch my back when I go to talk to these guys, and if I ever die, then I want you and Chris to take over, don’t let our friends die anymore”

            “don’t talk like that man, things will get better”  I smiled and thought to myself, one would hope.

            When I arrived to meet the visitors they were both standing waiting for me, the guy who I shot down with the marbles was still messed up but he was smiling

            “hey man, nice shooting, im sorry we invaded like this, I supposed we owe you an apology” he put out his hand and I reluctantly took it. “we usually can’t trust anyone in this hell, but I guess surviving in numbers gives us more of a chance, my names gannon, gannon the cannon, my big friend here is fade” the big man waved “we want to offer you an apology, and an early Christmas present. We came expecting to take this place as our own, we have stocks and loads of guns and ammo by the back exit where the trucks back stuff in, your welcome to use it, but id like my glock back, it was my friends gun.” I was so taken back by this I almost fell. Theses guys were actually offering a peace offering? I thought about it

            “I don’t know, like you said its hard to trust it, and you were pointing a gun at my….err my friends sister.”

            “look we understand the conflict that we had, and we understand it will take a while for trust to form, but for now, I mean you guys outnumber us anyway. And im sorry I wont hurt your girl, iv lost mine so I know what its like”

            “she aint my…oh whatever…thanks I guess…ill tell everyone”

            “ill go, ted spoke up, just don’t hurt my sister”  he slowly left. When he was out of sight he ran as fast as he could, but he did not run to the door switches, he went for just “smitty!” he screamed as he opend the door, “you have to come please snap out of it, they have my sister, two guys not zombies, the one has guns pointed at my sister” no response came “damn you, you fucking coward” he slamed the door. Thoughts raced in his mind, he had to do something “..i …I have no choice…I need to open the doors..damnit” ted ran as fast as he could for the switch, reluctly pressed it and made his way back

            when he got there everyone was on their knees and the gunman still had Julia with a gun pointed to the back of her head. Julia was crying.   “ok, your all going to do as I say” the gun man said with a steady and calm voice as though it was an everyday conversation “ there are a few options here” just then a loud pop noise came out of nowhere, the gunman stumbled back to grab his face, another pop and another and the gunman lifted his gun, without looking he shot off his gun, the rounds shot out at rapid fire, everyone dove for the floor, all except ted who rushed at the gun man jumped in the air and kicked the man in the face, he was knocked back and the gun fell from his hand

            “ there is one option and that is to get the fuck out of our house, and if you ever point a gun at her again I will fucking kill you” everyone was surprised to hear the voice of Justin come out of his mouth so loud.  The bigger man wilding the sword stepted forward as to make some sort of move or maybe to talk, but Smitty  took no time off, and shot him in his face, the man seemed little effected and charged him. he shot more with his paintball gun but it did little to stop this man. He was tough, and kept charging, he was fast and when he reached Justin he put the sword on his back, jutin dropped the paintball gun and charged the man who was  huge, way bigger then him, the man grabbed him and put him into a choke hold

            “I think we are all worried about him” 

            “But he is my brother” Jacob looked up at Jen “iv been a bad older brother, iv been immature and mean” Jen frowned and shook her head in disagreement

            “No, you care about him, maybe you don’t show it, but that’s just how siblings work.” She took his hand “that’s why you never wanted to tell anyone about us, you knew he had feelings for me, and you don’t want to put that on him”  Jacob looked up, he had tears in his eyes “itle be ok”

            “its been two days almost three, he needs to eat”

            “I know, we tried but he wont eat…look for now you need to be our leader, and eventually your brother will snap out of this”

            “I can’t be my brother, im not meant to lead”

            it was two days later and Justin still sat in the dark room.  No one visited him since Chris went in there, and Chris himself was being very quite. Dan and Eve really wanted to see their brother, but Chris told everyone to let him be. No one questioned why.  Jane tried her best to make Chris feel better, but Chris seemed to be in his own world most of the time, although he was not completely shut down like Justin.  John and ted continued practicing parkour in the open parts of the store, everyone knew that they used parkour like a drug. They said that the flow and the movement was more then good exercise and getting better at running away, it was a way of life, it helped get your mind of things. They were parkour high.

            Rob was being quite too but he was never a really loud individual in the first place. He spent most of his time sleeping, and looking around in the parts of the store that no one went to. Julia tried to hang out with Dan and Eve but they were not as interested as they usually were.  

            No one was the same as they usually were, Jen and Jane were the only ones that seemed unaffected. When Jen was not with Jacob and when Jane was not trying to make everyone else feel better they would have their girl talk.  They both had their secrets they kept from the group. No one knew about Jen and Jacob except Jane, and no one knew that Jane was falling for Chris. 

            They talked for a long while about things they should do. Jen wanted to tell Just about how she was going out with his brother, and Jane really wanted to tell Chris how she felt.  

            “just tell him, that’s what I did with Jacob”

            “I don’t know…” Jane looked down. It was now the third day since smitty went into his dark room.  Things were quite

            “ARM YOURSELFs!” came a loud voice, everyone recognized it as robs, who does not talk much but when he does, you know its him. Jane looked up and rob came around the corner with his paintball gun in hand. “there are people not zombies approaching the store!”  both girls got up and ran for their wepons. Soon everyone was gathered at the main entrance. All armed, except for Just, who was still in his dark room.

            Zombies were all around the front entrance, but some of them were turning around to run somewhere. All of a sudden one of the zombies dropped, and then another and another. No one noticed as the zombies dropped the figure charging at the zombies from the other side until a huge buster sword came by and sliced a zombies head off. it was now played out like a show a man, with long hair goggles and what appeared to be a robotic arm came was killing zombies with a sword, and other zombies were falling out of no where.  The slaughter continued unile there were no zombies left. The man now stood in front of the main entrance. He had his massive sword by his side and was just staring in. he seemed to be waiting for something to happen.  It was a stare off

In life there is pain, there is hope and love, and there is defeat, there is hate, and there is death.  There is also irony. It was ironic how the bullet that I fired at myself, the one that was supposed to kill me, the one that very easily could have been directed at a zombie, or at Nicole, it didn’t go off. the irony was most things getting shot at would hope that the bullet did not go off, but I was hopping the opposite.  Chris found me, and his sister. When he found me I was still shooting the gun in my hand. It was making a clicking noise, but no mater how many times I pulled the trigger it would not go off. I guess part of the reason that I didn’t just cock the gun back and try at it with a different round was because of my shock. I was not thinking I was just doing.  

Now I was alone, sitting in an isolated part of the bjs store that was now as far as we knew 100% secure. I was still in shock. Chris took it hard too, he took the gun away from me and gave it to Jacob. Neither me or Chris were in any condition to be carrying a gun. I was quietly thinking to my self about how I basically killed myself, sure I lived but that’s not what I wanted. I pulled the trigger, and in some other world that bullet went off, and I was dead. I was thinking now at an unhealthy level. About death and about the world, about god and my faith, if that’s what you wanted to call it. The room was dark, and I didn’t know what time it was, nor did I pretend to care. It had to be sometime in the early ams before the sun came up. I was not crying, and my eyes were dry, no I was beyond crying, I didn’t exist. That’s the best way to describe the feeling. I was not there. Sure my body was, but my mind was absent, there was nothing. I stared at the wall blankly.

Chris opened the door to the storage closet that I had got into. The light hurt my eyes. He walked over as the door shut behind him and sat down next to me without saying anything. For a time we just sat there, and really I didn’t even notice Chris. I mean I knew he was there, but I did not take note, it was as if I knew but I didn’t. its such a hard feeling to explain, simply because there is nothing there. I was feeling nothingness. “ I don’t blame you” words that broke into the nothingness and it became something. A phrase that came into my thoughts.  I sat and thought about it. “when your ready to come out…were all waiting for you…” he got up and left. Again the nothingness came on, but this nothing had something in it. The words that right now seemed empty. At least I had something in my mind. Something that still felt like nothing. I don’t blame you I thought, my thoughts were answered by a voice that was deep inside me

“but you’re the one who shot her, you had the gun, you let her go first” the voice said, it sounded shaky. I sat there and a tear finally came to my eye as feelings started to come back into my numb mind.  I sat there and cried

He was born, and then  died

The love of my life gone

Gone to war, came home never

            “you read my mind?” I asked her. She smiled and nodded. We kept walking then we turned around and walked the other way, and then we repeated. I didn’t look at her as we walked; I was not even paying attention to really where I was. I could not get ants image out of my head. His dead body after I had shot him. i did not even notice when she moved in front of me or when she put her arms around me. I just stopped and responded unconsciously by hugging her back, still not there in my head. Then she got out of the long hug, that I myself could not say how long it was, I was still not there. She looked me in the eyes, and after what felt like forever I forced myself to look back. It was then I realized how pretty her eyes were, I scanned her face, her long black hair. She right then and there took my mind off of it all. I forgot about everything and we just moved together. The kiss was the first real kiss I had, and it felt weird but good at the same time. I don’t know how long it lasted. I can’t even go back to explain how it felt. It was indescribably good. During this my mind raced and I came to a conclusion alarmingly fast. I did in fact love Nicole, but just as I thought about that my mind went back to Julia. Afterward we continued to hug each other. My mind was now even more jumbled then before. I didn’t care about the fact that we were trapped in the middle of a zombie apocalypse with no escape because by now the store is probably completely surrounded, or how eventually we would run out of food. My teenage brain was now focused on girls. This was more then the normal teenage lust though, there were two girls that I knew I was in love with, and another that I was still unsure about but something was definitely there

            just then a moan came from behind me and I quickly broke the hug and stopped thinking about the girls to face the new threat. There in the hall that we were supposed to watch was a zombie. I raised my gun without much thought and shot a round off, a hit, a kill, 7 rounds left. “Shit, we let our guard down” I looked over at Nicole who was armed with a golf club.  She looked to be confused

            “how. where the hell did he come form?”

            “that is the direction of the stairs to the roof accesses, no one checked the roof.” We both looked at each other and then ran towards the stairs. “text Chris tell him we may need backup”  I turned the corner to see 5 more zombies all very close and approaching fast I raised my gun and fired away, BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM, right away four zombies dropped but I did not stop shooting BLAM. At that point my aim was off from the kick back and I missed BLAM I missed again. I stopped myself from missing again. I took aim again and shot, the last round struck the last zombie in the neck, the pistol locked back. I was out and the zombie continued walking towards me. I stepped back behind Nicole who swung and knocked the zombie back. I moved out of the way as she proceeded to beat the zombie to death. In the down time I got a clip and loaded the gun. 15 shots in the gun now, and 2 more clips left.

            “come on” Nicole said as she was done beating the zombie “we need to clear that roof before it gets worse”  she ran ahead, and I was quick to follow. I wanted to tell her to wait, I had the gun, let me go first. I was scared that she might think I was being too protective though. She got to the bottom of the steps and two more zombies were on the stairs. She charged them with no fear and beat them down smashing their heads in with her club.  I secretly admired the fact that she kicked ass, but I was still worried about her well being. She ran up the steps and I yelled after her to wait but she kept going, until she disappeared into the bright sunny opening that lead to the roof.

            “ok” I said quietly at first then louder “ok, ok…damnit..ok we need to think…we need to survive. What just happened…we had to do it….there is food here, the zombies can’t get in the main entrance. First things first, we need to find a map of the store and some paper with a pen.” John and ted both looked up, both of them had tears in their eyes but nether were really crying.

            “We know”, john said quietly “we passed the janitors office to get to the security room that controls the doors….were look in there” john got up and left with ted, no one else talked or even looked back. Everyone was still staring at ally and ant. Eve was sobbing really hard. Dan tried to comfort her but it only made him more upset. I felt numb. I felt as though I should be crying, but I did not register their deaths I don’t think.

            John and ted came back with a big map that included all areas, and paper and a pen. “Ok, this is the map….we are going to have to spread out, and all check the store, there are probably more zombies in here, also there is another back entrance we need to secure.” We marked off areas on the map, and we all got to work. The store was big so we all armed ourselves and separated. All except a few of the younger ones, eve went with me, Dan with Jacob, and Julia with ted. Eve and me went to secure the back entrance because I was the only one in the group with an actual gun. She clung onto me like a tick, and she was shaking like wet dog. I tried my best to ignore her and walk on. When we got to the door, we discovered it was indeed locked, the only other way zombies could get into this place was if they could fly, there was roof accesses.  Eve and I slowly made our way back.

            When we were all regrouped again, we found out that there was only 3 zombies in the whole store that were still alive. They were easily killed off.

            Everyone was looking to me for what to do next. This bothered me. but then again I got everyone here alive hadn’t I? “ok” I said and everyone attention immediately turned to me, and eve looked up from my side “we need to come up with a system for living here. Places to sleep list of what foods will be able to eat for what days and so on, we need someone awake at all times, everyone needs a job” I scanned the room to view the reactions and most people were nodding. So I sat down with paper and asked everyone for their opinions.

            Eventually we came up with a nicely drawn out plan. We were on rotating shifts, so that eventually everyone would be paired with someone else. I was on first shift to stay awake. I wanted to set it up so that I would be with Julia, but Nicole was giving me looks, and I knew it would look weird if I did that. So instead I made it so Julia would be put on the first list to get some rest.

            “ok, and protect yourself as well” I nodded and got out, Chris also got out and we both walked up to johns front door together. I had my gun out and Chris had a metal baseball bat. Already stained with blood

            I looked at the baseball bat and back at my gun and smiled, he saw this” hey don’t feel so special I actually took my paintball gun and co2 and I have a crap load of ideas, the fps is already way up and I got marbles and such.” I laughed, that’s Chris for ya.

            “so you ready?” Chris nodded. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I knocked and called for john. Then I herd a noise behind us, we both turned I raised my gun, and was ready to fire, but john was just getting  out of a parkour roll. He turned around and smiled.

            “come to save me? I was just about to get on the roof with my paintball gun and have some fun”  we all laughed. And then we quickly ran for our cars, so far so good I thought. Next stop was Teds house.  We pulled up and proceeded with the same procedure, just me and Chris at the door.  We tried to open it and this time the door opened. We found ted and his sister just sitting on the couch, we grabbed them and ran out. Quick and easy, with a little difficulty convincing them but eventually they came with us. It was the same way for rob, Jane ally and ant. By the time we grabbed everyone the cars were packed. it was impossible to fit everyone in a seatbelt.  We were driving around now and there were still next to no zombies on the road. But other then our two cars the streets were oddly empty. Every once in a while we would pass a zombie here and there, but not as many as we saw when we first got attacked. It was odd and somewhat scary.

            Chris called me. “now what? Where do we go?”

            “ I know!, B’js!”

            “no really”

            “ I’m serous man, they got tons of food, only one main entrance that we can close, we have the kind of power to thoroughly  make sure its clear. Its perfect.”

            “…well …ok fine”

            we were on our way to BJ’s. I picked up my phone and tried to call my dad. I tried several times. He never answered.

When we got to BJ’s  there were already a swarm of zombies in the parking lot, maybe about 5 or so directly in front of the store. I jumped out the second, the car stopped and ran for the doors, they slid open. Good they still work I thought. Then I turned to face what ever followed me. Two zombies were right behind me. I raised my dads gun and shot once for one of their heads. A loud blam went out and a popping sorta noise as the round put a hole through the head, I then quickly adjusted my aim and shot the other one. Both shots were dead on. I paused then and looked at what I had done. Chris ran up to me followed by the gang, everyone got out except for the drivers of the cars and came running to get behind me. More zombies were coming now, only me Chris, ted and john actually had any weapons, I had a gun, Chris had his bat, and ted and john used the paintball guns loaded with marbles.

            “Chris, go take everyone inside lead the way and hit any zombies in there you find as hard as you can, john and ted, I want you two to find the power or some way to stop the doors from opening, ill cover the doors so no zombies get in.” everyone went off, the drivers kept driving around avoiding zombies and running them over when there was a small enough number of them to avoid damage to the cars. I wondered how much gas was left in each of them. I then looked down at the two zombies I had killed. I was now ready to call them zombies, they were no longer just men, no longer just the infected. They were zombies, and I was afraid. There were four more zombies on their way over now, well there were a lot more, but four that were close to making it without getting splattered by the cars. i had 14 shots left in the gun. I took aim, took my time, and squeezed off 4 more rounds, and got four more kills. 10 rounds left, I counted. It was important to count shots. Every round counted. One bullet one kill.  It felt strange killing a zombie. It was a mixture of satisfaction, and yet something about it made me feel uneasy. I had to just tell myself, they were not human anymore. My phone went off and I answered. It was john.

            “yo Justin, we got the power switch get your ass in here

            “ok give me one second” I started jumping up and down, within a few seconds both the cars parked near me, both Nicole and Jacob came out and ran for the door, we all walked in together “ok now” the doors shut off, and then a metal gate started to shut. The doors were being locked up. “ok john send a text message to everyone I want us all to regroup by the front door.”

            “roger”

            “What!?”  I saw Jacob sitting on his ass pointing at the door,

            “That man needs help” I looked at the door, pulled out the gun and slowly approached. “ whoa shit why do you have a gun, don’t shoot the poor guy”

            “Shut-up Jacob” I was at the door now,  and looking through the peep hole I saw what scared Jacob. It was a man, or so it appeared, his  check bone was exposed and his eyes where a white cooler. There was blood all on his face. I could here him moaning. “Jacob, dad wanted me to kill anyone who was infected, now I don’t know why or what, but I think….I think I should kill this man.” I looked back at Jacob who looked from me to the door to the TV screen. His game was paused and the screen showed an image of a gun pointed at a man who looked oddly similar to the man outside. “Jacob…I know what your thinking, but…it cant be”

            “ no man…that’s a fucking zombie out there!”

“no…” part of me wanted to fight it but I was sure that Jacob was right. Just then moaning got louder and I looked back at the door, then in the corner of my eye I saw more men at the windows, they were hitting them hard. Slowly the glass started to break. “Jacob go, wake up eve and Dan we need to get the hell out of here! Go now!”

             I never killed a man before.  I was scared, Jacob knew how to drive though, and my dad had his prized car still in the garage covered.  A yellow Chevy Camaro with the transformer logo on the side, to represent Bumblebee.  My dad put a lot of money into that car, it was a funny thing but he never drove it. Jacob came down and Dan and eve were now wide-awake, no doubt Jacob had said something that scared them. “ ok, just, what’s the plan”

            “we go out the back, take the car”

            “are you crazy our dad is gonna kill us”

            “yeah so will-“ the glass broke “ shit just go now!” I turned with the gun, one of the men was trying to climb in but they were too fat, I didn’t shoot, instead I turned and ran, we got to the garage safely and Jacob started the car. It took almost no time for the men to get in front of the car, despite them all being big and some just plan fat, they moved at an alarming rate of speed. I noticed one was missing an arm, I also noticed one of them was my neighbor, an old geezer that never left the house, unless it was to yell at my younger sibling to get off his lawn.  Jacob drove past them and ran over a fat one who could not get out of the way on time. Jacob was smiling, he never drove a car like this one before and I could tell he was enjoying himself.  

            “What’s the plan, where do we drive to?” he asked eagerly, and unfortunately I had no idea, I had not thought that far ahead.  

            “Maybe-“ just then my phone went off.  I forgot I even had it in my pocket and the vibrations made me jump. It was Chris.

When I answered and he was all shaken,”hey man me and my sister just got in the car, you meet any of the zombies yet?”

            “Hey man, do me a favor and don’t call them zombies, not yet.”

            “Sorry man, but what else should I call them?”

            “I don’t know, just not that, where are you guys?”

            “well we took the van were going to pick up as many people as we can after that we don’t really have a plan.”

            “yeah well nether do we, how about we meet at whatever house your planning on going to first and were escort you…I have a gun.”

            “ok sure, I think I’m going to head to johns house first he is closest.”

            “ok see you there, and Chris”

            “yeah?”

            “good luck man”

            “thanks you too”

Jacob gave me a scared kind of “ok fine lets do this, but I’m not going to like it” look.

            I reassured him “we are stronger in numbers”. He nodded and we headed towards johns house in silence

Pro-log

            I loved her, but that didn’t’ matter, not anymore.. I raised my fathers gun paused for a second that seemed like an hour, then I pulled the trigger. She dropped to the ground, a hole in her head. My hand was shaking and my stomach hurt now. The sight of her brains on the floor made me sick and the look in her eyes.  I could barley stand it. I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger

Chapter one. How it all started.

            My name is Justin A smith.  My full name is a joke devised by my parents. Justin Author Smith, or as it sounds “just another smith” all my friends called me Smitty or just, a name I did not mind. I was  normal size for a 15 year old, not very strong but I liked to fight. My dad was my favorite person in my family, then my younger sister, eve . I had 3 siblings a younger sister, a younger brother, named Dan and an older brother named Jacob.  My mom had died when my younger brother was born.  Her death was hard on all of us.  My dad was a police officer and worked long hours, so  I had to watch everyone, because Jacob just played games all day. I was the official babysitter.

            My dad trusted me probably because iv earned his trust. I never did drugs or had even a sip of beer in my life. I was never a bad kid, I liked to fight, but I fought for good reasons, and my dad saw that, and being the man that he is, he  secretly approved of this behavior. He often took me shooting to relieve my anger on the world; we shot targets, and, after I got my hunters’ license, sometimes small game.

            People are stupid, and it is this thinking that has lead me to have very few friends. The few friends I had were awesome. I had john, and Chris, ted, Jen, Rob, Ally, Ant and Jane. all great friends who understood me.  We went paintballing together, liked the same music, and me john and ted all loved a sport known as parkour, getting from point A to point B as fast as possible. We stuck up for each other and it was as if we were a big family.

            I can see myself reading this and asking what gives, where is the romance, there is always a girl, where is the storyline why are you just telling us about you, who cares. But it’s all-important to understand. I was just a regular kid before it all started. And there was a girl, actually there were a few, it was very complicated because at 15 I was unsure of what to do.

            I was in love with one of my best friends’ little sister, and it seemed wrong and I just never really wanted to say anything. Teds younger sister, Julia was perfect, she was also only 12. A friends younger sister, now I’m no expert, but if it were my sister, id feel uncomfortable . Now while I was secretly in love with her, I also had a crush on two other girls, Chris’ sister, Nicole who was older and Jen. Chris’ sister knew and said to me she loved me. I told her I loved her too, but I’m not so sure that’s true. We dated secretly because we feared what Chris would say, but really, I also feared what Julia would say. I felt wrong about it. I loved Julia and that I knew, but I also knew I could never be with her.

             Now I need to ask do you believe in god? I did before it all started, and sometimes I still do, but then I think, why would all this happen. Why would god let it happen? It all started when we were all together. It was a meeting for our paintball squad, which we took very seriously despite it just being a game.  It was at teds house, and Chris’ older sister was also there, so I felt really awkward.  Luckily when we concentrate on paintball I can get my mind of things. Paintball, and fighting came naturally to me. I’m not just saying that. I really kicked ass.

            That night we decided to take a break from paintball and watch TV. we turned in on and it was in the middle of some sort of emergency broadcast. It was very broad and it did not have someone speaking it was scroll on the bottom of the screen.  The exact words were “ Attention, there is a sickness going around that is considered highly dangerous and everyone should stay indoors and avoid infected, this is for all areas” it was short and badly written. We didn’t think much of it.  As long as we were safe going home we figured we would be good. We were terribly mistaken.

            That night I was driven home by Chris’ older sister, I thanked her more then once and got in the door. Dad was not home, which was odd because it was his day off. I figured he must be at the bar. My little siblings Eve and Dan were asleep already and my older brother Jacob was playing some zombie killing game. As for me I had homework to do. Before I started Jacob yelled in, “yo, dad wanted you to call”

            “What for?”

            “Hell if I know, just do it”

            I nodded and picked up the phone. When he answered he seemed tired

            “Son, I might not be home tonight, did you see the emergency broadcast?”

            “Yeah, dad, why? Is it bad?”

            “Oh yes its very bad, listen to me, you’re the most responsible in that house. If the sickness reaches you, don’t be afraid to defend the house, it’s not a normal sickness. If you see an infected you’ll know….and I want you to kill any that you see”

“Dad-“

“ no there’s no time, just listen, you know how to shoot, you know how a gun works, there is a gun in the draw by my bed, its loaded  and ready to go, bullet in the chamber and all, there are extra clips too….I love you son”

             I was speechless all I could say was a faint “I love you too” and not even really register what I has said until he hung up. I felt as if I was in the twilight zone. It felt unreal. My dad told me to kill infected? What the hell was going on, their sick but their still people…aren’t they? I was getting scared so I did as my dad said.

Soon I will be posting pages from my short chapter book that I am writing, I decided to make a post about the story instead of making this post an actual story so that you can be introduced to the idea.

            The story is about zombies, but I tried to make it more about the people then the actual zombies, with a lot of characters the story was hard to write simply because I never wrote something this long. Keeping track of the plot was a small difficulty, and I’m not so sure I like everything I have, but that’s for you guys to judge not me.

            The reason I wanted to do a story about zombies is because I find it the most interesting way to end the human race. (or potentially end). In a zombie outbreak all people must put aside differences and hatred to stay alive, and everyone is a fighter, even therapists have to fight.  The story is called Incident Z and there is some profanity in it, and some gore, readers discretion is advised

Jimmy was in an annoyed hateful mood, and was playing a violent video game to help with his stress. He had a long day and was just generally mad at humanity. His mother would try to talk to him, and jimmy would ignore her. Jimmy went on like this for the whole day, until his phone went off. Jimmy looked at the caller ID and was surprised to see the name oh his formal youth group leader. They used to meet every Wednesday with several of Jimmies friends, they played games and discussed God. Jimmy answered the phone

            “hey Lisa, how are you?” Jimmy asked

            “good, what about you”

            “fine” Jimmy said, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to have to explain himself .

            “What are you doing tonight?”

            “Nothing”

            “Good can I pick you up in an hour?”

            Confused Jimmy agreed, but felt a little uneasy. He had not spoken to his youth group leader for at least a few months and was surprised to hear from her. Jimmy trusted her though and got ready to go. When she arrived she beeped her horn and Jimmy was quick to leave his house. He realized that although he was confused he didn’t really care where he went. Just to get out of the house was nice. The car ride was a quite one, with few words exchanged, just the usual “hi, how are you, its good to see you”

             The car stopped Lisa got out of her car and handed a bag to Jimmy, who looked into the bag and saw 5 fruit cups. “come on Jimmy, were going to feed the homeless, but watch out for the cops, technically this is illegal”

            Jimmy was very confused now, but glad that they were back to a usual routine giving food to the homeless. This time however was different because they were giving food out to homeless men in a train station. Jimmy never did anything like this except in a homeless shelter. It was over in no time, and by the time Jimmy got home he had completely forgotten about his mood of hatred, and felt good about feeding the needy, he even got a few “god bless you”s and “thank you”s whiche made Jimmy realize that just because the world is so messed up, does not mean that humanity is lost. What he did that day meant a lot to him, and sure it was a small thing, but he was happy to have done it.

The permanent marker fades, just as the sun sets. Memories die just ad metal rusts, and although we try, all too often love dies just as we die. But I think we shall live again, just as the sun will shine again.

One life is valuable in a moment and not.  It fades......it fades away

one cent more and im brought to the floor. They took so much, they can’t take much more. Death comes to meet me and I sigh. Lost competently im not afraid to die,

And I only say what I don’t mean because I mean things that I can’t say
so let me fade  away, but I'll be back again someday

       The thumb is arguably the best adaptation humans have. We don’t think about it, and we take if for granted, but the thumb is used everyday, and makes things so much easier. However we didn’t always have thumbs, nor are we the only ones who have them. The first actual record of a thumb, was back when the Dinosaurs roamed the Earth, the most known is probably the iguanodon. So thumbs have been around for a long time, even sauropods that walked on all 4 legs seemed to have some resemblance in their feet to a thumb bone, But what about with humans?

One of the earliest apes (even before the Humans) that had a thumb was called the Proconsul; This ape lived around 17-23 Million years ago, Although not human, they evolved from the same  relative (The

Kenyapithecus) they are one of the first mammals on record to have a thumb. The first humans ever were the Homo habilis, they too had a thumb. 

            This all just means the thumb is a hard evolutionary trait to trace, they appeared way before humans and apes, but did not appear to be used as an opposable thumb until the first mammals.  Now here are some pictures of animals with thumbs: