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While reading The Handmaid’s Tale, the Pages 134–137 makes me wonder, what makes a story worth telling? What makes a story believable and different from the rest of the crowd? Something that makes me wonder this and not only that, but, relate to it is when Offered said this; “It’s impossible to say a thing exactly the way it is, because what you say can never be exact, you always have to leave something out, there are too many parts, sides, crosscurrents, nuances, too many gestures, which could mean this or that, too many shapes which can never be fully described, too many flavors, in the air or on the tongue, half-colors, too many.” q. – 134. This made me think back onto what my Grandma said. I remember a time where my Mother was trying to figure out who drank her soda and I got so frustrated although I didn’t do it, but my Grandmother said to me, “As long as you didn’t do it, you have nothing to be worried about, no matter how many times you get accused of it.” And in this moment when reading this chapter that’s all that filled my mind. Page 136 is where I started to question things and I started to feel intrigued but not in a happy way. In the middle section of the chapter, before reading it, what catches my attention is when Offred says, “We are for breeding purposes: we aren’t concubines, geisha girls, courtesans. On the contrary: everything has been done to remove us from that category. There is supposed to be nothing entertaining about us, no room is to be permitted for the flowering of secret lusts; no special flavors are to be wheedle, by them or us, there are to be no toeholds wombs, that’s all: sacred vessels, ambulatory chalices. So why does he want to see me, at night, alone?” and that made me feel uneasy. What did she mean? That’s all I could think of at first but as I took notes and really thought more about this; Offred was right. To me she was objectifying herself but she was also correct. In Gilead the women are used for pleasure, entertainment, and labor, and not only that but many of them are brainwashed into believing that this is how life is supposed to be due to God wanting this for women, while as for the rest, they believe that they are being punished or put through a test or lesson. As I continue reading page 136, Offred states how she could become an “Un-Woman”, what is that? She refers to this after saying how if she’d get caught by Serena Joy (SJ). She then states that if she chooses to not see the Commander, there could be worse consequences that come her way. I guess this would make sense because he has more power than her, their dynamic is awkward, sometimes it seems like the Commander has less power than she does, but that’s for another moment. “There’s no doubt who holds the real power,” Offred quotes on page 136. Something that I did think about was how Offred says that the Commander must be weak or expressing a weakness, to want something is to be weak. “But there must be something he wants, from me. To want is to have a weakness. It’s this weakness, whatever it is, that entices me. It’s like a small crack in a walk, before now impenetrable. If I press my eye to it, this weakness of his, I may be able to see my way clear. I want to know what he wants.” What I find to be intriguing about this is the more we read into Offred’s mind, the more she talks about how she’s never been in the forbidden room, not even Serena Joy (SJ) has been inside of this room. And not only that, it’s only ever cleaned by the Guardians. On page 137, Offred describes the room, but then says how she might just cry and the Commander seems very empathetic. Like huh? This confused me. I thought Commanders were supposed to be stern and clear with their intent– only follow orders. He gives her a frown and offers her a seat, he literally pulls the chair out for her to sit. He then smiles at her and she describes it as a normal smile… nothing suspicious. I fell off– what did he really want from Offred and why was he only doing this to her? What made her different from the rest? What made her stand out?

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood addresses how people around you can greatly influence you into doing something you aren’t too comfortable doing just for their benefit. In the book, Serena Joy is trying her best to manipulate Offred to cheat on the Commander with Nick. Serena Joy is getting very impatient with the Commander, who has not been able to get Offred pregnant. But Offred was not comfortable with it because she knew that she couldn’t get pregnant by anyone that isn’t the Commander. After all, if it came out, it could leave her with a great punishment, which could even lead to death. We see this kind of manipulation most clearly in the scene where Serena Joy tells Offred that she is getting impatient with her and that the Commander is still not able to get Offred pregnant. So Serena comes up with a plan that Offred would have an affair and get pregnant by somebody else. Offred is hesitant because she tells Serena, “It’s against the law. You know the penalty,” which is exile to the colonies and death. This is when the manipulation begins. Serena helps ease Offred by saying “Women do it frequently. All the time.” Serena is saying that she wants to use Offred even if it puts Offred at huge risk. Serena is minimizing the risks of this illegal act by the old “everybody does it” logical fallacy. “But it’s done,” Serena says as a way of providing proof that they can get away with it successfully. She offers Ofwarren as a successful example. She doesn’t, however, mention any times when this kind of plan went wrong, which is why this is her manipulating Offred by leaving out any possibility that they will get caught. Then, Serena manipulates her further by saying that Serena would make sure they didn’t get caught. Then, she adds, “The Wife knew, of course… .I will help you. I would make sure nothing went wrong.” Of course, there are no guarantees that she could do this, and if they did get caught she would deny everything and only Offred would be punished. Offred is pulled into the plan by Serena’s manipulation, even to the point where she imagines that they are only girlfriends who are talking about boys. “…for this moment at least we are cronies, this could be a kitchen table, it could be a date we’re discussing, some girlish stratagem of ploys and flirtation.” Serena has no interest in Offred’s well-being, she’s only using this to make more of a reason for Offred to trust her by making it seem like they are in the same team working together when in reality they never could be friends because of the widely different roles they play. She continues with the “we are in this together” attitude when Offred asks, “What about the Commander?” Serena replies, “We just won’t tell him, will we?” Serena reassures Offred that she has this planned out and that they will have each other’s backs no matter what.
Of course, Offred has her reasons for wanting this plan. She knows that if she doesn’t get pregnant soon they will blame her and send her off to the colonies anyway, and she is attracted to Nick, who Serena suggests as the possible one to get her pregnant. But even here, we can see Serena’s manipulation. Serena must know that Offred is attracted to him, and she might even have used him before, as Offred suspects: “Is this what he always gets, in return” for running black-market errands, Offred wonders. Serena has essentially hemmed Offred in while making it seem they both came up with this plan and agreed to it, even though Offred has no real choice. If she says no, Serena could accuse her of all sorts of things. If she doesn’t get pregnant, bad things will happen, and if she goes through with it, the consequences are just as bad. Throughout the book, Serena uses her influence on people to get what she desires, without care or thought about how it can harm others in the long term.

While reading “The Handmaid’s Tale” Written by Margaret Atwood, I was specifically intrigued by a certain passage in the book. This specific section runs from page 225-227 and it is a scene where Offred, the main character, speaks on love and how she experienced it. This particular section sparked my interest because of the lack of love throughout Gilead. Yeah the wives “love” their Commanders, but for the most part, it seems as though the Commanders don’t necessarily love their wives according to Offred’s perspective on love, and my personal perspective on the concept of love. Offred’s commander, also known as Serena Joy’s husband has been secretly having Offred come and visit him, and he’d ask Offred for kisses, and indirectly ask for sexual relations with Offred. The commander stole Serena Joy’s costumes and makeup, and used them for Offred, to show her off at a nightclub earlier on in the book. In the specific section I chose to examine, the commander originally suggests that they speak about love, something that is somewhat “forbidden” in the world of Gilead. When reading, I thought it was strange. Why is the Commander speaking on a forbidden subject? Offred goes on to explain that she in fact enjoys speaking about love, because of her “experience” with love. On 225 she states “That’s better. That’s something I know about. We can talk about that.” This quote is suggesting that she loved before she became a handmaid. Throughout the novel Offred speaks a lot about a man named Luke. They were a couple, and they had a child together. She enjoys reminiscing about Luke and their good memories, but when it becomes bad memories, she seems to not enjoy that. Just like she analyzes her past memories and experiences with Luke, she analyzes the idea of love. Also on 225 Atwood writes, “Falling in love. I said. Falling into it, we all did then, one way or another…It was the central thing.; it was the way you understood yourself; If it never happened to you, not ever, you would be like a mutant, a creature from outer space. Everyone knew that.” When analyzing this quote it made me realize that in the world of Gilead, before the government shut down and everything changed, love was normalized. Everyone was either in love, or had loved before, and if you weren’t in love, you were inhumane. She then goes on to note that falling for “him” was so “dire, extreme and unlikely.” Those three important words suggest that maybe REAL love was hard to find, but fake love just to “fit in” or “look the part” was the love that everyone was experiencing. When reading The Handmaid’s Tale, it’s hard to miss the religious aspects of the story. Offred states that “God is Love.” This represents the power that love holds on people. Offred was a hard lover in her past life because of the things she did to protect herself and her family. Pre- Gilead times, Offred, Luke and their daughter were trying to escape and Offred gave her daughter sleeping medication, so they’d have a better chance at saving themselves when crossing the border. On page 84, in chapter 14 Atwood wrote “ And I don’t want her to feel frightened, to feel the fear that’s now tightening my muscles, tensing my spine, pulling me so taut that I’m certain I would break if touched.” This is a scene where we can tell Offred is trying to protect her loved ones, and that her love for Luke, and her daughter was so strong. On page 226 through 227, Offred describes the three different scenarios of love. The type that comes and goes and is hard to remember, the act of falling in love, and abusive love. Offred states “you’d wake up in the middle of the night, when the moonlight was coming through the window onto his sleeping face… Likely you would think at those times: What if he doesn’t love me.”(226). Offred categorizes love because these are the ways she’s experienced love. Through this quote you can see that she has a lot of thoughts at night, just like throughout the novel, Offred would have her worst inner thoughts at nighttime. She tells herself not to believe the negative thoughts. He is in fact in love with you, she forced herself to believe. But maybe this isn’t true. On page 144, Aunt Lydia said “Men are sex machines. They only want one thing. You must learn to manipulate them, for your own good.” Is “your own good” love? The feeling of love? From reading this passage I can infer that women love to feel love, and love to be in love, even if that means sacrificing things like your emotional health? On 226 Offred says, “But all of that[the inner thoughts] was pertinent only in the night, and had nothing to do with the man you loved, at least in daylight. With that man you want it to work, to work out.” Offred was saying that the thoughts go away during the day because people want this idea of love to work out. Even if your thoughts are right. Even if the love isn’t there. Overall when reading this section, it made me see that in the world of Gilead, love is depicted differently, and from reading I could see just how complicated love is, and there is no real answer to the famous question of “What’s love?”

“You can wet the rim of a glass and run your finger around the rim and it will make a sound. This is what I feel like: this sound of glass. I feel like the word shatter.” - page 103

The mind is a strange thing. It can use coping methods to make it through difficult times, but it can also delude. It can provide peace and solace, but it can also run amok with anxiety and stress about the future. The brain is so complex that it would be difficult to represent with a single image, but we try nonetheless. The artwork I created is an attempt to unpack the mind of Offred as the end of the narrative approaches.

Throughout the book, Offred uses the word “shatterproof” in relation to windows five times (as of the current reading)—on pages 8, 12, 52, and twice on 167. She mentions the word “shatter” even more often, and this repetition of her fixation on broken glass served as the main inspiration for this piece. Each shard of glass illustrates a different aspect of her mind—a memory, a thought to the future, or a single word—and at the center of the fragments is Offred herself, her internal exhaustion shown through her weary eyes. When initially drawing Offred’s face, I did not intend to make her appear old or wrinkled, but I feel that the final appearance connects strongly to how she sees herself as a Handmaid. She mentions on page 199 that “being a woman this way is how 1 used to imagine it would be to be very old.”

For the overall aesthetic of the artwork, I chose to use an airbrush to create vague, blurred shapes in each shard of glass. This decision allowed me to be more abstract with the artwork, and it was also a strong way to illustrate that these ideas floating around in Offred’s head are only reconstructions, not completely true representations of her thoughts or experiences. This, as a motif, is repeated several times in the narrative by Offred herself, so I felt that it would be important to refrain from creating crisp, clear images in the artwork.

The piece on the bottom right depicts a swarm of tiny Handmaids around the word “MAYDAY.” This is a representation of the Mayday rebellion, a mostly disorganized group of Handmaids that are trying to find a way to work against Gilead. Introduced to her through Ofglen, another Handmaid, Offred wants to help them by feeding information and doing what she can in her restrictive life. Another piece shows tendrils of smoke rising from a fire covering a house, a manifestation of Offred’s thoughts about burning the Commander’s house down and escaping: “Such a fine thought, it makes me shiver. An escape, quick and narrow” (209)

The remaining pieces contrast this looking forward, however; they represent Offred’s growing feeling of despair and powerlessness as she loses pieces of her past and is forced to reckon with her reality in Gilead. For example, one piece is an image of the Commander’s face, surrounded by Scrabble pieces that spell “Zilch.” Offred does directly spell out this word while playing Scrabble with the Commander on page 183, but I felt that it was a strong metaphor; zilch is defined as zero or nothing, and I used it to represent the idea that Offred feels helpless, both over her future and in the structure of Gilead as a whole.

Directly to the right of this, another shard of glass shows several twisting lengths of rope criss crossing through a dark void. In the background, the vague shape of a noose can be seen. This imagery was used to encompass all of Offred’s thoughts about the Handmaid that lived in her room before she did. She was initially a beacon of hope for Offred, leaving behind the message “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum,” meaning “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” (187). However, Offred later discovers through the Commander that the Handmaid hung herself to escape the dark reality of Gilead. She had held this Handmaid in her mind as an almost mythical figure, seeing her as an inspiration, and this news took that away. “Fat lot of good it did her,” she remarks later in the story. “Why fight?” (225).

Above these, the next fragment depicts Ofwarren, the pregnant Handmaid shown in an earlier stage of the book. I included this to represent Offred’s thoughts on her place as a Handmaid, but also as a reminder that she does not have much time left to fulfill her “purpose” in this society, the one enforced upon her by Gilead: giving birth. This idea is reinforced several times throughout the narrative by a variety of characters, from her doctor (page 61) to Serena Joy (page 204), and this serves to encourage Offred to do whatever it takes to have a child, even if she does not want to. She has little agency in the grand scheme of things, and this erodes her sense of self.

Another piece depicts blurred white figures with a faint glow. This represents Offred’s memories of her family before Gilead, of Luke and their daughter—on page 193, she attempts to remember them, but “they fade, though I stretch out my arms towards them, they slip away from me, ghosts at daybreak.” This is an attempt to look into the past, to fall back on fond reminiscence, but it doesn’t work; Offred has been overtaken by Gilead and cannot go back.

The glass shard in the top right corner shows the photo of Offred’s daughter that she receives from Serena Joy on page 228. She had been hoping to find her, even just see her one more time, for the entire story, but when she is given the photo, this optimism melts away. “You can see it in her eyes: I am not there,” she thinks. “I can’t bear it, to have been erased like that” (228). The word “OBLITERATED” floats above the photo, emphasizing that Offred feels her daughter has forgotten her. This is one of the most powerful pieces of imagery in the story, and it is one of the most effective at battering down Offred’s hope for the future. This goal she had been searching for the entire book has, in her eyes, been for nothing.

Finally, directly above Offred’s head is a piece that shows a pair of rabbit ears on a headband. This is a reference to her final encounter with Moira at Jezebel’s, where Offred discovers that she has been . “She is frightening me now,” Offred thinks, “because what I hear in her voice is indifference, a lack of volition” (249). Moira has been a rebellious figure for the entire story, and has served as an inspiration for Offred as she worked with Ofglen and the Commander. In this final interaction, however, that spirit has been taken out of her, and this is one of the most damaging losses in the story. “I don’t want her to be like me. Give in, go along, save her skin… I want gallantry from her, swashbuckling, heroism, single-handed combat. Something I lack.” Another figure of hope in her life has been reduced, has lost an important piece of themselves, and this drives the stake of hopelessness even deeper into Offred’s mind.

This artwork is a culmination of Offred’s experiences in the story, a combination of little hopes and large despairs. I do not know what lies ahead for Offred, but I do not see a happy ending as very likely, given her loss of hope and agency.

California Dreamin - The Mamas & The Papas

https://youtu.be/J4DmU_On6ag

This song, originally released during the time of the Vietnam War, would serve as the theme for Offred’s walks with Ofglen around Gilead. There are many connections between the lyrics and the story. While a lot of the story so far has taken place during the summer, the opening lyrics of California Dreamin, which refer to poor winter weather, are still reasonable, because these scenes will likely be repeated in winter time, and either way, the lyrics refer to a dark time, which is what Offred feels like she is living through. “I’d be safe and warm, If I was in LA” refers to Offred thinking about the Before Times, and how she used to be ‘safe and warm’, with LA representing Luke. Lastly, the line “And I pretend to pray”, perfectly describes how Offred thought about Testifying at the Red Center. “At Testifying, it’s safer to make things up than to say you have nothing to reveal.” (71). This mentality goes with the same idea of pretending to pray.

FE!N - Travis Scott

https://youtu.be/U-l4ya3ejko

The main chorus of this song is simply the word fein repeated, meaning a person that has an addiction to something. For the Handmaid’s Tale, this would be the theme to play in the club, with the representation of the ‘fein’ being the Commanders and other wealthy men present. They are addicted to women and sex, which in this world is as bad as being addicted to an illegal drug, since these people in power are the ones that made lust and passionate sex illegal in the first place. Additionally, FE!N makes a good addition to the playlist because of how some of the lyrics connect to the book. “The career’s more at stake when you in your prime” represents how Offred’s physical prime is soon coming to an end, meaning she will be cast off when she is no longer viable to have children. Another lyric is “In the night, come alive”, describing how Offred’s thoughts are often the most lively when she is in her room at night.

Mii Channel Theme - Kazumi Totaka

https://youtu.be/x2NzoLMWAwQ

This is a video game console’s background theme, about as boring as it gets. This represents some of the monotonicity of Offred’s life as a Handmaid, and specifically her experience with the Ceremony. In Chapter 16, the reader’s first impression of Offred’s feelings about her sex ceremony with the Commander are not positive. Many times throughout that chapter, the sex is described as boring: “The Ceremony goes as usual” (93), “This is serious business” (95), “If he were better looking would I enjoy this more?” (95). This same way, the song is a repetitive, boring process that only serves as a stepping stone to something else. The Mii Channel Theme is only played when the video game’s player is loading in, waiting to do something, and as a result, waiting for the music to end. The experience is the same for Offred in the Ceremony; she is simply waiting for it to end.

Quest Ah Dog - lolalumikola ft. Don Pollo (overlaid on Victory - Thomas Bergersen)

https://youtu.be/ZkfGkQVhQUU

This short theme creates a feeling of chaos and confusion to the listener, with many different audio tracks overlaid on a background song. Additionally, this song can also make any event that happened immediately before it feel more magnified. These are similar emotions that Offred feels at some important moments in the book. The first example was in the doctor’s office in Chapter 11, when the doctor offered to impregnate Offred himself. Upon this offer being made, a multitude of thoughts go through the Handmaid’s head (60-61): “Does he know something, has he seen Luke, […] can he bring back?”; “Is that his hand, sliding up my leg? He’s taken off the glove”; “I almost gasp: he’s said a forbidden word”. The shock that Offred feels in this scene can also be well represented by the “What da hell” lyric from Quest Ah Dog. The second example, from Chapter 31, was when Serena Joy offered her Handmaid a picture of her daughter in exchange for procreation with Nick. As Offred thought “She’s known all along” (206), a similarly fast flow of chaotic thoughts entered her head, once again repeating the theme of Quest Ah Dog.

Anakin’s Betrayal (from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith) - John Williams

https://youtu.be/m2p-im7cxa4

This is a movie theme from a moment when many heroes died. I connected this to Chapter 18, when Offred imagines all of the various possibilities of what happened to Luke after they got separated. This would be the theme for that flashback/vision. The music gets its loudest when Offred thinks: “I pray that the hole, or two or three, […], I pray that at least one hole is neatly, quickly, and finally through the skull, […], only the one and then silence.” (104). This idea of Luke dying immediately, as well as all of the thoughts Offred has about Luke being in pain, would be well represented by this sadder theme.

A lot of times I sit up in my room at night simply staring at my ceiling fan watching it spin. I’ve always thought that it was pretty weird but I just couldn’t stop myself from doing it. While I’m sitting there my brain is constantly just thinking and thinking about everything and anything: what i’m going to eat the next day, where I put my favorite hoodie, even the fact that the same water now is the same water like 1 million years ago. With these thoughts the same question arises: what is my purpose, my future?
With in the Book The Handmaid’s Tale I believe that I share a similar thought process as Offred within the text. Now I’m not able to understand the feeling of being in a totalitarian society where women are only cared for by their ability to have children but I am able to understand the feeling of not knowing what your true purpose is or feeling like your life isn’t in your own hands. “When I get out of here if I’m ever able to set this down, in any form, even in the form of one voice to another… (134) This quote comes from chapter 23 where Offred refers to her “story” as a reconstruction that not everything she’s saying is 100% her own or 100% the truth. I really was able to see this within myself. Almost everything I tell people or others about me doesn’t feel truly real or authentic. I sit sometimes and think about everything that I’m doing under my own volition, do I really want to do these things? I still can’t fully grasp that feeling as most of the time I feel what I’m doing is right and what I want to do. If I were to try and go to other people they’d probably think I’m crazy which I guess is why I stay up at night just talking to myself in an empty audience.
Offred encapsulates this idea when anytime in the book the next section is called night. I paralleled that to myself as she sits in her room talking to the reader or thinking to herself. “ I feel very unreal, talking to You like this. I feel as if I’m talking to a wall. I wish You’d answer. I feel so alone.” (195) I never really could explain these thoughts to other people as it felt like I was talking to someone in another language. The idea that I don’t know my purpose sounds so foreign but is something that I definitely think other people think all the time. Yet like Offred I feel alone when I try to explain it, talking to an empty void with that void also being myself.
“Nothing new under the sun” my dad would say everything that you have thought of has probably been thought by someone else. Whenever he would tell me this I would hate it because to me it really meant nothing I could do would be original or my own thinking. It made me believe that everything I thought of was probably conditioned by someone else. Like when Offred brings up the stories she can and can’t tell. “It isn’t a story I’m telling. It’s also a story I’m telling, in my head, as I go along.” (39) When I first read this I immediately thought to myself how I constantly try to make sense of if everything I see, think, feel is truly me, or is it someone else. While also reading this I made more sense of how I better understand my place in the world which I think both me and Offred relate to.
This idea of a reconstruction or not being able to find your purpose is simply an idea that only puts forth what you put back into it. So constantly thinking about how your story isn’t your own is only putting you in the mindset of exactly that. Everything that we are living through is “Our story” even though it may not 100% feel like it. Almost like a reconstruction. Each person is living and contributing some way to their “story” even with the influences of others. Like Offred I see myself constantly asking these questions trying to uncover why I think this way even though for Offred it’s a bit more self explanatory. We both try to find the truth but also know that it doesn’t come in one nice recipe book but much more of one big jumbled mess with many begrudging questions in between.

My artwork shows how the handmaids are being watched every second they can be. It represents many different scenes in the book “The Handmaid’s Tale” has many different scenes that shows different characters that watch the handmaids at all times. Those characters being, The Eyes, Wives, and the Aunts. But for this specific piece of artwork I mainly wanted to focus on the “Eyes” of the story. The eyes are the secret police of Gilead. They are the ones who watch everything in Gilead. The eyes are tasked with surveillance and enforcing the laws of the state often to intimidation and violence. The job of the eyes in the Gilead world is to create an atmosphere of fear and paranoia among anyone that might be informed of the real world.

In this art piece I am representing Offred (in the hands), being watched by a bunch of eyes around her. The line “The Kidnapping I Can’t Escape,” is on top of her face disguising the fact that she can never escape. I added the hands around “Offred” representing bars, and barriers where she can’t escape “Gilead.” Around the hands at the top I added angels, with eyes. These represent the “Angels” in the story. Angels are Soldier 24 in order to protect the state but they operate more openly on our less involvement in persuasive surveillance.

I added eyes on top of these angels in my artwork because I wanted to represent that they are both forms of restriction in Gilead. The rest of the images on my artwork mostly show how the women in Gilead are treated by the “hierarchy” which is being silenced. The picture of the woman on the left side. Her eyes are being covered by the words , “ive now come to understand the same thing about trauma :happy, well adjusted people are all different. The traumatized are exactly alike.” I wanted to represent how the women in Gilead are being silenced and brainwashed on their traumatic experiences when living and working in Gilead.

In the book “The Handmaid’s Tale” there are many different examples of surveillance and watching in Gilead that represent my artwork. Offred says “There’s something I want to say, but its like the saying of it will cost me something.” (page number) In this quote Offred explains how she wants to say something, but she has this worrying feeling that she will be caught, and punished for what she will say. It develops a fear in Offred, constant surveillance all the time, making her cautious of what she says all the time, in order to avoid being brutally punished for having her different opinions and thoughts.

Ultimately, I created this collage as my art piece to show or depict how Offred, and the Handmaids in general, are being monitored and watched all the time in Gilead. It expresses the art form of the control and paranoia Offred is constantly being in. The reason why I chose to depict the “Eyes” in my art piece was because the eyes play a huge part and role in the story. Its significant to the story, and to Offred because it shows us that there is a higher power, and makes the structure of the people who are in power. We see how controlling the “Eyes” are, by seeing how afraid Offred is just by saying the wrong things. This is important because we see the root of why so many women are afraid to speak up in Gilead.

For my art piece, I made a digital sketch overlaid with a watercolor brush that was inspired by two small quotes found in The Handmaid’s Tale written by Margaret Atwood. The first quote can be found in chapter 18 of the book, “ … flickering like images of saints, in old foreign cathedrals”. This inspired me for the shape and background of the image which was supposed to model a piece of stained glass that one could find in an old foreign cathedral. The main focus of my training came from a quote in chapter 25. “ Saint Serna, on her knees, doing penance”. This gave me inspiration for “Saint Serena” who I sketched in a nun garb in the Commander’s Wife blue with a halo around her head and a small shovel in her hand. The reason I chose these two quotes for inspiration is because of the religious imagery they both convey. Throughout the reading, I have found a fair bit of religious imagery scattered all through the book so far. And in my annotations of the first quote I wrote, “I am always very intrigued by religious imagery especially the way Atwood writes it; somehow subtle and overt at the same time”. I went to catholic school from pre-k all the way through 8th grade. Though I can say that sometimes the experiences I had in the catholic school system were memorable in a positive way, I can also say for a fact that the idea of God was shoved down my throat so much that I eventually threw it up; God was a person or entity that I had no wish to think about or interact with. Even through all of the turmoil and in some cases trauma that I went through in Catholic school, my enjoyment of religious imagery never dwindled. My complicated relationship with the church as a whole never stopped me from appreciating one church in a moment, the beauty of the architecture, and the images of Christ embedded in stained glass. These images were so wondrous and grand to me that I never really doubted the sanctity of a church until I stepped foot outside of it. Eventually, I started to understand why I found these images of faith and belief and religion to be so powerful even though I was actively unsubscribing from them; I saw a strange fascination with the worship of something I knew not to be real to me. Staring at the carved marble of the Holy Father in awe knowing that to me He wasn’t real but being moved to tears by the fact someone more than likely driven only by faith put so much time care and attention into displaying a beautiful image of Him and watching people knelt in front of Him, rosaries in hand doing the sign of the cross. I am by no means a faith-oriented person and I think that’s what makes religious imagery that is done in a quite beautiful fashion such as Atwood has spoken so closely to me. I may not feel the same pull to religion that other people do but when I see these beautiful pieces of art that are motivated by faith I am brought to a point where I can empathize with them on a much deeper level; their worship is shown to me in an enchanting fashion that makes me understand the depth of their faith more than any bible verse could.

Sound Resonance

Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace

This song paints a picture of the darker side of humanity in all of us, that we all have made choices in our lives that depict us as animals. A time and place where we let the negative aspects of our personality shine through us. This song is about being in that dark place and asking for help getting out of it. Some notable lyrics are “Somebody get me through this nightmare, I can’t control myself” and “So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one would ever change this animal I have become.” In chapter 13 of The Handmaid’s Tale, When Jaime is relieved that she has been taken advantage of by multiple men, Aunt Helena and the other handmaids blame her for it. On page 72 it reads “Her fault, her fault, her fault, we chant in unison. Who led them on? Aunt Helena beams pleased with us. She did. She did. She did.” What stood out to me was when Offred reflected on their actions later down the page. “We meant it, which was the bad part. I used to think well of myself. I didn’t then.” This connects to the song’s negative perception of one’s self and the hopelessness of becoming better than you are.

Hellbent - Mystery Skulls

Hellbent is all about desires for pleasure and doing what you’re not supposed to, although the lyrics are short they do express a crystal clear view of the message in this song. For example, the lyrics “ I’ve been hellbent, baby. Hellbent on makin’ you love me, too. Even though not what I’m supposed to do. I don’t give a damn.” When thinking of The Handmaid’s Tale, the song reflects what happens in chapter 17 very well. After Offred and Nick break the rules and start kissing intimately, she thinks “It’s so good, to be touched by someone, to be felt so greedily, to feel so greedy.” On page 99. The act of pursuing What you want and having a mutual desire for pleasure mirrors the song and this chapter.

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing - Set It Off

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing is all about being a danger, an outlier among the rest, someone coming off as harmless but is a danger. This song could portray Moria from the Aunt’s perspective, about her being a black sheep among the handmaids, how she’s the most dangerous and defective out of them all. The song goes over many themes of betrayal, some notable lyrics are “Oh my god, who am I kidding? Now, let’s not get overzealous here. You’ve always been a huge piece of shit.” These lyrics are reflected in chapter 22 when Offred tries to reenact Moria’s escape attempt, Aunt Elizapteh may harbor most of these feelings especially since she was the one Moria threatened. The song further resonates with Moria because there have been so many times when she has been a nuisance for a while, evidently by her faking sickness in a previous chapter. Overall the song demonstrates the relationship between authority in Gilead and Moria.

Poker Face - Lady Gaga

Poker Face is a very popular song, sung by Lady Gaga herself, about how she manipulates a man to gain what she wants. Similar to the relationship between Offred and The Commander, how she uses him for information while she just has to play her part, This is brought to life in chapter 32 when the Commander is drunk. Proven when she thinks on page 210 “It’s difficult for me to believe I have any power over him, of any sort, but I do; although it’s of an equivocal kind.” This made me think of the lyrics “Love game intuition, play the cards with spades to start, And after he’s been hooked, I’ll play the one that’s on his heart.” This is where the song and the book split because they both hold the idea of power over men to get what they want but have different mindsets about that power. Lady Gaga is more confident in her ability to get what she wants, seeing that it isn’t life or death for her. While Offread is fighting for her life trying to get all the answers she can get. Almost as if this is a card game and Offread is playing for her life while Lady Gaga is playing for fun.

Bumpy Ride - Mohombi

Bumpy Ride is a song of lust and the domination of one partner over another, the kind of song that would be played at a club. The setting in chapter 37 mashes very well with the song because it is a place for high members of this society to feel highly of themselves by flaunting power and women. The lyrics that fit best with this would be “Tell me, who can love you? (Nobody) Hold you? (Nobody) Make your body wine like me, You’ll never find someone like me.” When the commander goes on to fill his ego and shows off Offread to his friends, which then she speculates on page 236 “Perhaps he’s reached the state of intoxication which power is said to inspire…” The power to do what you want and be the best at what you do can be seen as a Lust for power which reflects both this chapter and this song.

The picture itself is designed to address the abstract themes and subjects of Offred’s thoughts and imagination. The background is set as what I picture the Wall looks like, with gray brick holding up the bodies killed by the rules of Gilead.

Offred is pictured through her uniform, with the bright crimson cloth covering her head to toe, except for the white veil over her head. The cigarette in her mouth represents hope and the things she wishes for as written on page 14, “The cigarettes must have come from the black market, I thought, and this gave me hope.” (14) Behind her is a wide arrangement of flowers, which represent the comparisons she has been making through the book related to flowers and seeds. She notes them when she says, “I go out the back door, into the garden, which is large and tidy: a lawn in the middle, a willow, weeping catkins; around the edges, the flower borders, in which the daffodils are now fading and the tulips are opening their cups, spilling out color,” (12), and again, “There’s a dried flower arrangement on either end of the mantelpiece, and a vase of real daffodils on the polished marquetry end table by the sofa.” (80). When Offred notices details in the setting she often talks about the flowers.

There were many artistic choices I made about what to put up on the wall, and I really wanted the Wall to hold the things that are stuck in her mind. Those thoughts seem to be mostly taken up by Luke, her daughter, her mother, and Moira. Luke is represented on the wall through the empty noose. Offred describes her feelings about the bodies on the Wall and her uncertainty on where Luke is in the world now, and whether he is alive or dead, “These bodies on the Wall are time travelers, anachronisms. They’ve come here from the past. What I feel towards them is blankness. What I feel is that I must not feel. What I feel is partly relief because none of these men is Luke. Luke wasn’t a doctor. Isn’t.” (33) In the quote she uses the past tense “wasn’t” and then switches to the present tense “isn’t,” and this demonstrates her uncertainty on Luke’s wellbeing that continues to plague her throughout the whole book, as seen when she dreams of him, “Luke, I say. He doesn’t answer. Maybe he doesn’t hear me. It occurs to me that he may not be alive,” (74) and when she thinks about what could have happened to him, “What is left of him: his hair, the bones, the plaid wool shirt, green and black, the leather belt, the work boots.” (104).

Her daughter is represented through the picture of a girl on the wall. I attached the photo to a rope in order to symbolize that the daughter Offred knows is now “dead” as she has been transformed to fit society in the same way Offred has. This can be seen when Atwood writes Offred’s memories, “You’ve killed her, I said. She looked like an angel, solemn, compact, made of air. She was wearing a dress I’d never seen, white and down to the ground.” (39)

Offred’s mother is represented through the body with overalls hanging on the Wall. This, similar to Luke, represents her uncertainty of what happened to her mother. In a memory of Offred’s she says, “I didn’t see why she had to dress that way, in overalls, as if she were young; or to swear so much.” (180). Even with their complicated relationship, Offred still yearns to see her mother, which is seen through the quote, “I wish she were here, so I could tell her I finally know this.” (181).

The last person who seems to fill Offred’s thoughts is her best friend, Moira. Offred voices Moria through her subconscious, providing commentary on the things happening in her life through what she believes Moira would say about it, and she also quotes things Moira has said, almost as if they are rules she ought to try and live by, “You can’t help what you feel, Moira once said, but you can help how you behave.” (192)

Moira’s name is written in scrabble letters because another thing that Offred dreams of is freedom from the new Gilead and society she has been forced to conform to. Offred describes the scrabble letters, “I hold the glossy counters with their smooth edges, finger the letters. This feeling is voluptuous. This is freedom, an eyeblink of it.” (139). Overall, all of the things represented in the picture and on the wall are things out of reach for Offred in her life now, and things she wishes she could have.

In The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred’s story is split between the past and the present. Gilead, the dystopian world that has taken her freedom, purposely strips people of their individuality and autonomy as a tactic to control them. Gilead has put people into roles where they are not seen as full humans with individual stories. Despite the message that she should forget her past, Offred is wracked with memories of her old life, and is constantly grappling with the two sides of herself: her present situation and the woman she used to be.

During the day, when people are watching, Offred is occupied with her present self. At night she can return to her past. As she lies in bed in chapter 7, when she is deciding which moments from her past she should relieve in her head, she thinks, “The night is mine, my own time, to do with as I will… Where should I go?” (49) I chose to portray this scene in my picture, because I think that it is an example of how she is living two lives simultaneously. In my picture, she is lying in her bed, wearing the outfit of a handmaid. Other than the red of her cloak, her room is black and white, to represent how bleak her present life is. I overlaid a transparent picture of a woman, also in color, on top of Offred to represent that the woman she used to be is still inside of her, and that it is impossible to strip that identity away from her completely. I hope that the contrast of the color to the black and white demonstrates the difference between her present and her memories of the past, and how she often feels like her real life is in the past while she is going through the motions of her days in Gilead.

The bubbles around Offred each display a different image from her past that she has returned to at some point during the book. I put them in bubbles because the way that she describes them makes them feel like little snapshots, or separate little chapters of her life as opposed to a complete narrative of her past. In my opinion, Atwood purposefully chose to include descriptions of the mundane moments of Offred’s past in addition to the bigger, more memorable events, because Offred misses those times the most. She often fixates on everyday things. When talking about meeting up with Luke, she said, “It’s the rooms themselves I miss as well… I was careless, in these rooms.” (67) Even though this image was not life changing, it was times like this that made up most of her past life, when she could do as she pleased. When thinking about Moira, she also remembered, “I had a paper due the next day. What was it?…On the floor there were books, open face down, this way and that, extravagantly.” (50) This is another example of a moment that, despite feeling small, meant a lot to her.

I also included the more significant moments, like someone trying to kidnap her child, “she was disappearing down the aisle, in the arms of a woman I’d never seen before. I screamed…” (83) Even though this is not a pleasant memory, I still chose to include it because of its significance to Offred’s past. The bubbles are each tinted differently, to show the various emotions correlated with each image, and this one is purple and orange to represent the fear that she felt. Offred is not scared of her bad memories, though, and returns to them just as much as her pleasant ones. She does not wish for a utopia, she wants a world where she has autonomy, even if that will come with hard times. These bubbles float around her to show that these memories are with her always, and follow her around, because they are who she is.

Lit Log #2: Reader Response

The wall scene in The Handmaid’s Tale struck me as the most shocking and revealing moment in the book. The red-brick Wall is introduced in chapter 6 when Offred and Ofglen return home from a grocery run. They both pass this wall on their way home and are fixated on what they see: “Six more bodies hanging, by the necks, their heads tied in front of them. (32)” The red-brick Wall separates Gilead from the outside world. Citizens of Gilead who break the laws of this society are hung from the wall with a white bag around their heads, as described. On each body, a sign is hung around their neck indicating the reason for their execution.

My initial reaction to this scene was shock. Even though it was already inferred throughout the book that Gilead is a strict and harshly governed society, I didn’t expect a public showcase of dead bodies on a brick wall. These bodies represent a disturbing symbol for enforcing the laws of Gilead. The body’s identities were concealed and the only explicit message associated with each body was the crime they committed. This draws a direct correlation to why they were executed. Anyone who values their life in Gilead is inclined to follow the rules because the bodies are examples of what happens when you don’t: “They have committed atrocities and must be made into examples for the rest. (33)” In addition to this, seeing a dead body can be traumatizing, making the whole experience hard to forget. Covering the faces of the dead takes attention away from their identity, reducing them to figures of defiance. The bodies hanging from the wall symbolize the repercussions of not following the laws of Gilead

The consequences of not following the rules can vary. Sometimes they result in death or serious injuries. One day, in middle school, I was walking to my bus stop and saw a car totaled into a brick wall, about waist high. I asked a man nearby what happened and he told me that the man in the car was on his phone and wasn't paying attention to the road. The same man told me the driver was also arrested. When I saw the crash I was shocked and a bit scared. I remember thinking the driver was an idiot and that I didn't ever want to be in his position. It’s moments like these that stick with me. Before seeing the crash, I knew that nobody should be on their phone while driving but never saw the direct consequences. Following this day, I would more often call out my sister, mother, or brother if I saw them on their phones while driving. Seeing the crash in person made me take driving safety more seriously.

I resonate with the wall scene in The Handmaid's Tale because Margret Atwood's narration is closely connected to how I felt when I saw the car crash. Both moments depicted the consequences of breaking the law. I felt shocked by seeing the car crash but didn't feel bad for the man who crashed into the wall. On page 33, Atwood writes, “What we are supposed to feel towards these bodies is hatred and scorn.” Atwood explains that the people of Gilead should feel hatred towards those who don't abide by the laws. I wouldn't say that I felt hatred towards the driver but anger towards him because of his recklessness. I wasn't worried about the driver at all. The society we live in and Gilead punish those who disobey the laws and as citizens, it's our responsibility to know what they are. The driver was arrested and the citizens of Gilead were executed. If you decide to not follow the law, as the driver did, you may face the consequences of your actions. I initially struggled to accept why I felt no remorse for the driver but I quickly understood it was no one else but his fault. Everyone is in control of their actions and by choosing to challenge or disobey the rules, whether you think it's correct or not, you're putting yourself at risk.

Lit Log #2 Close Reading:

In chapter 31 of The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood gives the readers a deeper look into the inner thoughts of Offred and her struggle through vivid imagery and deep thoughts. The first thing that I notice is that the chapter starts with her repetitive thoughts. Atwood writes, “In the morning I will wake up in my own house and things will be back the way they were.”(199) This line immediately stuck out to me because not only does this particular repetition of wanting to escape this reality she’s in give us a look into how hopeless she feels, but also how repetitive her life in Gilead is, with no sign of improvement or change in the near future. Atwood contrasts this desire of hers with her realization that, “It hasn’t happened this morning, either.” The way that both of these sentences connect with each other in an emotionally broken way is while the first sentence expresses hope and goals, while the second lets the reader know that it is unfulfilled.

The vocabulary and diction are also incredibly important and significant to my understanding of Offred’s character as well. When Offred takes time to describe what summer feels like to her Atwood uses words such as “Breathless” and “Sauna” (199) which automatically struck me first. Breathless not only speak on her how one could lose breath in the hot and warm days but also how she’s being suffocated by her own thoughts in her room trapped and enclosed like how one would be in a sauna. She then writes about how Independence Day was “abolished” (199) which puts emphasis on how her own freedom was as well.I think that another double meaning word she used would be on page 200 when she writes “I’d ike to have Luke here, in this bedroom” she then later mentions an inevitable egg which she refers to being “Lukewarm” like her room. I think that she puts a double meaning on that word because the closest feeling she has to Luke being with her in her bedroom in the summer is the egg.

Atwood’s use of discerning patterns in this book are also very interesting to the readers as well. In this particular section from chapter 31, Atwood’s sentence structure when in reference to Offred’s despair usually includes a lot of punctuation, such as periods, dashes, and commas which creates a tension to the readers with pauses which make the readers understand and break down her feelings more. “I bend over to do up my red shoes; lighter weight these days, with discreet slits cut in them, though nothing so daring as sandals.” (199) Then she uses different types of writing like narration and description which is seen throughout the whole book to help vividly put us into the thoughts of Offred and her experiences. There seems to be paradoxes when it comes to her wanting her independence so badly while being trapped in a place that doesn’t allow that.

In terms of point of view and characterization in this book the readers are being told from the first person perspective of offred. She comes off as an unreliable narrator at times due to her constantly switching between memories of the past and what’s happening in the present. This not only confuses the readers and builds up tension but it also gives the readers another view into offreds psychological state as well. She says, “ I decide I’m only having an attack of sentimentality, my brain going pastel Technicolor, like the beautiful-sunset greeting cards they used to make so many of in California. High-gloss hearts.” (200) This quote shows us more of her struggle when it comes to trying to forget and remember her past while adapting to her issue in the present. Her use of imagery by saying “my brain going pastel Technicolor” and comparing them to old happy greeting cards contrasts to her dull and empty life in Gilead with an emotional disconnection to her brighter past. This really brings the readers into thinking is she starting to slowly lose her mind?

And lastly what really piqued my interest was when she mentioned the “wreath on the ceiling” (200) which to me really was a good way to further describe her entrapment. She calls it a frozen halo, which really a halo is known as a symbol of holiness but to call it frozen, is she saying her purity and wellbeing is also held captive like her in the room?

Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale delves into the harrowing experiences of Offred, a woman stripped of her autonomy but most importantly her livelihood. One particular moment occurs when Offred is given a picture of her daughter but denied the ability to keep it by Serena Joy, the commander’s wife. “It has washed over me, washed me away as if I’m nothing more than a woman of sand, left by a careless child too near the water….You can see it in her eyes: I am not there(228.)” This scene resonates deeply with me, evoking feelings of longing, loss, and the complex dynamics of motherhood, emotions that parallel my own life experiences. More to that, I moved from New York to Philly when I was about six years old, leaving my mother was one of the hardest things I had to endure but I know that I relate to Offred’s daughter in a way. The pictures I took growing up when I moved were completely different, especially knowing that I struggled with the complex dynamics of motherhood and fatherhood. I had to depend upon my grandmother which made everything in my life completely different and in pictures I didn’t have the same happiness that I had when I was with my mother. It’s similar to this quote because when Offred glimpses at the photograph of her daughter, it represents the painful reminder of her past life, filled with mistakes that she couldn’t take back. The fact that she had no possession of the photograph amplified her feelings of loss and helplessness. This moment has resonated with me because it reflects my feelings concerning the deep emotional scars left by my separation from my parents. Although I was young when all this happened to me, the emotional fallout was so intense for me that I can sort of understand the perspective of Offred’s daughter although we have different situations they are similar. I often found myself longing for the moments captured in photographs of happier times, moments that felt irretrievably lost. The photograph also symbolizes not just a memory but the oppressive forces of Gilead that seek to erase Offred’s identity as a mother. The control over her life extends to her relationship with her daughter, leaving her in a constant state of desire. “But she exists, in her white dress. She grows and lives. Isn’t that a good thing? A blessing? Still, I can’t bear it, to have been erased like that(228.)” This resonates with my own experiences of societal expectations and the pressure to comply with rules. For instance, during my young teenage years, I faced a ton of pressure from my friends and family to follow a predetermined path in education. Much like Offred whose identity is subverted by the roles imposed on her, I struggled to assert my desires against the expectations set in front of me. The photograph serves as a reminder of what Offred has lost, just as I often felt the weight of expectations overshadowing my true aspirations. Offred’s emotional turmoil upon seeing the photograph is compounded by her inability to act on her feelings. She is aware that her maternal instincts are stifled by a regime that values women only for their reproductive capabilities. “When there’s meat they cut it up for me ahead of time, as if I’m lacking manual skills or teeth. I have both, however. That’s why I’m not allowed a knife(228.)” This helplessness resonates with me, particularly during times when I felt powerless to change my circumstances. For example, when my family faced financial difficulties, I often felt like an observer in my own life, unable to influence the situation. The sense of being trapped, much like Offred’s confinement in Gilead, evokes a profound empathy within me. I understand the frustration of wanting to reach out and connect but feeling constrained by external forces. Especially knowing that those external forces don’t ever truly understand you’re situation unless they have been in your shoes before. Moreover, Offred’s experience highlights the broader theme of maternal bonds and the sacrifices that come with them. Her desire to protect her daughter, even from afar, resonates with my own experiences of motherhood and the challenges that accompany it. As a child, whose parents never got married but ended up separating when I was young, I often felt the need to protect my younger siblings from the emotional struggles of our family situation. This instinct to shield loved ones from pain, even when I was struggling, mirrors Offred’s fierce love for her daughter. The photograph served as a reminder that, despite the barriers imposed by society, the bond between a mother and child should remain unbreakable.

“i’d find you” by phendste https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERlJjq6cyzA

This song by Phendste resonates with the longing and resilience found in The Handmaid’s Tale, as Offred has a tendency to cling to the hope that she might be reunited with her husband, Luke. The lyrics within the song, “So hold on, don’t you dare lose hope, I will find you” mirror Offred’s desire for a future beyond Gilead, where Luke might still be searching for her, keeping her hope alive. Offred’s wish to “have Luke here… so I could have a fight with him” on page 200 reflects this yearning for even the simplest connection to her old life. Emphasizing even small acts of intimacy like arguing are luxuries in her isolated world. Similarly, the lyric “Oh guard your heart for me baby” speaks to a need for emotional protection; something Offred must do to survive under the constant surveillance and oppression of the regime of Gilead. This song echoes Offred’s silent determination, desperate yearning for her old life, and love for her former partner, Luke.

“Solitude” by Billie Holiday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiU-O8arVa8

Billie Holiday’s “Solitude” fully shows the despair and isolation Offred experiences in The Handmaid’s Tale. The lyric “I sit in my chair, filled with despair… with gloom everywhere” reflects Offred’s daily experiences, and existence, seeing as she spends hours sitting in her room with little to do but contemplate her fate in Gilead. The line “In my solitude, I’m praying” in the song suggests a sense of forced faith when aligned with Offred, in Gilead, since as far as the reader is aware, Offred was not mentioned to be affiliated with any religion prior to her indoctrination as a Handmaid. This indoctrination reflects her limited choices for solace, and solitude in a world where she feels “buried” (page 211) and confined. Continuing this sense of isolation, on page 199 Offred notes how “this isn’t a jail sentence” because there is “no time to be done and finished.” Overall, this song reflects the sinister reality Offred experiences in each and every day, living in Gilead.

“Devil In A New Dress” by Kanye West https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk3rpYkiHe8

Kanye West’s “Devil In A New Dress” exposes the hypocrisy and moral decay within Gilead rulers/ruling class. The line “We ain’t married but tonight I need some consummation” echoes through the commanders’ disregard for their own laws, illustrated during the club scene where the indulge in, well, illicit activities. This reflects the hidden depravity within Gilead, as they exploit women while enforcing strict morality elsewhere. The lyric “What happen to religion? Oh, she lose it” looks back to the indoctrination piece mentioned earlier, and aligns with the superficial religiousness of Gilead, where religion seems to be but a tool used to control the masses. Offred’s contemplation, “I avoid looking down at my body… because I don’t want to see it” (page 63), shows how Gilead has stripped Offred of her autonomy, reducing her identity to her body’s utility. Overall, her desire to resist her fate in any manner reflects a silent rebellion against the Commanders’ hypocrisy, who secretly (although now known) breaks their own rules while she is forced to comply.

“America’s Most Blunted” by Madvillain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jytxkJUM_7U

Madvillain’s “America’s Most Blunted” reflects a state of escape and numbness that resonates with Offred’s struggle for peace. The line “And they wondered how he dealt with stress so well, Wild guess? You could say he stayed sedated” parallels Offred’s attempts to numb herself in Gilead. In her limited, bland world, she treasures the night as “my own time, to do with as I will, as long as I am quiet” (page 52), using the nighttime as a means to detach from the world, similar to a cannabis user. When she acknowledges how every “thought must be rationed” (page 116), she reflects her very calculated effort to stay emotionally sedated, as thinking, or overthinking could lead to an immeasurable amount of despair. Following this line of thought about sedation: during a scene with Serena Joy, Offred is given a cigarette (page 206), which seems to be a calculated move from Serena Joy: to sedate, and calm Offred.

“Creative Control” O.C. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXSlKDIl7Ss

O.C.’s “Creative Control” captures themes of individuality and autonomy, which are not present throughout The Handmaid’s Tale—except for one person. Moira. Her rebellious spirit echoes through the line “stop, look and heed, participate in the re-organizing” knowing she was attempting to dismantle Gilead’s oppressive structure, refusing to conform to the societal category and obligations forced upon her. The declaration from the Angels that she was “too dangerous to be allowed the privilege of returning to the Red Center” (p. 249) exemplifies her refusal to “give in, go along, save her skin.” (page 249) like Offred says she has, much like many others. Just as the song speaks to claiming agency, and your creativity, Moira’s defiance is a stand for creative control over her own identity, in stark contrast to Offred, who admits one page 84, “I can’t remember what my real name is.” The lyrics of this song reflect a desire for self-determination, and Moira’s audacity makes her a powerful figure of resistance to the regime in Gilead; even within the constraints of Gilead, some individuals are able to reclaim their sense of self.

Being a woman has never been easy over the whole course of civilization. Although there have been improvements made, the prejudice against women has never stopped. In the book, The Handmaid’s Tale, author Margaret Atwood describes what being a woman in Gilead, before their freedom got taken away, looked like for the female characters in the book.

“I remember the rules, rules that were never spelled out but that every woman knew: Don’t open your door to a stranger, even if he says he is the police. Make him slide his ID under the door. Don’t stop on the road to help a motorist pretending to be in trouble. Keep the locks on and keep going. If anyone whistles, don’t turn to look. Don’t go into a laundromat, by yourself, at night,” (Pg. 24).

Offred is expressing the things she learned growing up in Gilead because of her gender. What’s surprising to me is how well it connects with what women learn today about their personal safety. I became really independent as I grew older and that required me to go to a lot of places by myself. Some would say I didn’t look my age because I was on the taller side and had been more developed than those in my age range. The way I looked didn’t really phase me when I was traveling by myself because I was just a kid. But when I started high school, things changed drastically for me. Before I never experienced the dangers of being a woman in public because I was always in areas where I wouldn’t encounter things like that or I was with my family. My highschool was in a very different location than what I was used to. Even though I have lived in the city for most of my life, I was always on the outskirts rather than directly in the city. And whenever I was in the city, I would have an adult by my side. When starting highschool, this all changed because I started to go to the city by myself to go to school and other extracurriculars. Of course I was told to be safe and let my mom know where I am at all times but I didn’t really realize what she meant by “be safe,” until the school year started to go by and traveling in and out of center city was the norm for me.

I remember walking to the train station and the sidewalk I was walking on happened to be right next to a very busy street. As I was walking, a car slowed down past me, honked and whistled at me, and then drove off. I was confused at first but then realized it was a grown man in that car trying to cat-call me knowing I looked like a kid coming from school. It made me feel extremely uncomfortable and unsafe because I didn’t know if this was gonna be the last time something like this happened. This situation compares to the “rules” Offred describes in quote because even though I am in a completely different timeframe/reality from her, I still have to abide by the same rules she describes. When you get older and start to experience more unhinged things that men do towards you, you know deep down how to react to it and how to prevent it from happening. Experience teaches you lessons. I know now not to walk next to a busy street by myself or respond to strangers (majority men) who have bad intentions with me. My mom never told me these rules but I found them out just by being a woman.

Offred also mentions the change that the women in the book now encounter because of the government’s decisions. Now that all of them are handmaids, their reality has become completely different.

“Now we walk along the same street, in red pairs, and no man shouts obscenities at us, speaks to us, touches us. No one whistles. There is more than one kind of freedom, said Aunt Lydia. Freedom to and freedom from. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to. Now you are being given freedom from. Don’t underrate it,” (Pg. 24)

She’s describing what life is like now that women are under the control of the government and how they only get freedom “from” them to do certain things. This caused more safety for the handmaids but made them seem like objects. As you get deeper into the book, Offred goes with her commander to a club and although she is technically protected, the men still look at her like she is something to judge from head to toe.

“The Commander does the talking for me, to this man and to the others who follow him. He doesn’t say much about me, he doesn’t need to. He says I’m new, they look at me and dismiss me and confer together about other things,” (Pg. 236).

The way they reacted to her makes me think what would happen if I was treated the same way in my reality. Would I be shut down just like that? Would I look weird? Although women are not represented as objects nowadays, some people still see us as one, which proves the point Margaret Atwood is trying to make. Gilead is not that much different than society today when you think about how women are treated. It’s not as obvious in our reality but it does still happen, creating windows between the book and real life.

My artwork is about how Offred thought of how winter was not dangerous yet she saw some evil rooted deep within Serena Joy’s garden yet nobody had truly noticed it before.

Not only that but it supposedly shows how their secrets buried deep within the garden that had been long kept there and now needed to be brought into the light as if those secrets had a voice that needed to be heard.

My artwork also in a way shows how the voices of those secrets have been kept hidden for so many years that they had begun to become louder and louder as if they were grim grinning ghosts who had come out to socialize therefore causing offred to wonder if the emptiness that she spoke to when she told her story were there truly voices starting to hear her or was she just losing her inner self after being there for so long without any true reality of her own.

While reading The Handmaid’s Tale, Moira was one of the characters that stuck out to me due to her rebellious nature and antics. She reminded me of one of my older cousins who is and was one of the most rebellious people I know. He always did the opposite of whatever anyone told him and was overprotective of himself. To me, my cousin growing up was my idol. I looked up to him heavily as he was like an older brother to me. I watched him and almost studied him just trying to understand him and the way he moved, his outlook on the world.

Chapter 22 of the book describes Moira’s plans to escape and it reminded me of when my cousin and I had a conversation about how he wanted change for himself and wanted to leave Philadelphia. He was tired of the terrible feeling that was attached to him by being in Philly. He was filled with so much emotion and passion for his desire to leave as Moira seems to have had through Offred’s perspective. From Offred’s viewpoint, we see that Moira has a plan of escape by overflowing the toilet and killing Aunt Elizabeth, swapping clothes, and walking right out of the center. As stated in chapter 22 on pages 130-132 her plan to escape by overflowing the toilet and then bringing Aunt Elizabeth to “help” fix the toilet Moira stabs Aunt Elizabeth in the ribs then tells her “I’ll stick it all the way in, I know where, I’ll puncture your lung.” From my perspective, my cousin was killing his emotional ties to Philadelphia and taking this leap of faith of moving out of state and didn’t look back. For about a year we didn’t speak to each other as I reminded him of home. The idea of home was too painful for him as everything he knew and loved was Philadelphia. Philadelphia was his home but so much baggage came with it and he was tired of the pain and suffering that was tied to him living here.

As I see from my perspective after reading what Offred has expressed throughout what I have read about Moira, it seems as if Moira holds in a lot of pain and deals with her pain through humor. Growing up I noticed my cousin would joke a lot and tried to make everyone else laugh with him I was too young to understand, but as I got older I finally understood why he would do that. Even though as I got older he would tell me more about his life, his pain, his suffering I couldn’t understand why he did the stuff he did till I could understand his emotional state. I came to the realization when reading the story when Moira was talking about the idea of date rape and how she was quick to laugh as if off like it was just a regular joke to make from that point, after deliberating with my classmates I could conclude that it probably happened to Moira. From the connection, I could make between Moira and my cousin just like Offred, I noticed how rebellion has changed the course of life. My cousin’s rebellious behavior caused our relationship to get put on hold for some time as the time we spent together was limited my parents thought his behavior was going to rub off on me as I started to follow in his footsteps. My relationship with my parents changed because of the effects of my and my cousin’s relationship as they kept me away from the stuff he was doing. From secretly hanging out with him when my parents weren’t home to me meeting up with him out in the city. We built such a tight bond that when he left I changed and at a point, I was so shocked that it felt numb like it seemed like Offred feels at the beginning of the book. When we didn’t talk it felt like he almost didn’t exist because he didn’t talk to anyone so no one got an update on him. His leaving was tough but I know it was for the best just like it was for Moira. They both gained their idea of freedom, Moira’s escape from Gilead, and my cousin’s escape from what he saw as his hellscape. Offred and I could both see that escape can be the only way to find pure happiness and change but also can spark something inside someone else.