Lenea Harris Public Feed
Highschool
So we finally meet.
Chest Pains
The doctor said it was... some long word for irritated muscle in my chest.
It's pretty painful.
He gave me medicine for it, though.
My chest still hurts.
The doctor said it was acid reflux disease and that the acids in my stomach come up and cause heart burn.
It's pretty painful.
He gave me medicine for it, though.
My chest still hurts.
The doctor diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder and said that i feel sharp pains when I'm anxious.
It's extremely painful.
He gave me medicine for it, though.
Sometimes I mistake my chest pain for a heart pain.
A heart attack or a heart break or something.
It's just always heavy.
Always painful.
Wish he could prescribe me medicine for life.
This Household
4 shouting.
3 screaming.
2 cursing.
1 crying for help.
And When the Countdown was almost over
"Who startin' school in January?"
"I said worst case scenario."
"Well, whoever is responsible for that I'm punching them in the face and spending my months waiting in jail 'cuz I'm not staying in this house for another 4 months."
You're Gonna Love Me
One Summer Night
Bottle. Mix. Water. Microwave. Test. Feed. Burp. Sleep (for the both of us).
Sometimes I Feel Like
He Held 4 Napkins in his Hands
He began to count em out.
"1 million, 2 million, 3 million, the world."
All Day
Eff it; Prom Weekend
Fraternal
"Hey, I'm Lena."
"OH, are you twins?"
"Fraternal."
Behind
Tipped
Blue Wristbands
Prom
I Didn't Cry Last Night
Progress.
(not a true story lol. has nothing to do with me.)
Another Conversation About My Eyes
Lights Went Out, Then Came Back On
Dear Prom,
My List of Complaints
2. My hurts.
3. My ribs feel like they hurt too.
4. My shoulder blades hurt alot.
5. I'm tired.
6. There's alot to do.
7. I'm itchy.
8. The medicine didn't help for my shoulder blade.
9. I'm still tired.
The World We Live In
"Yeah, girls usually get stabbed."
The Kids Don't Have A Chance
The drugged boy’s steady show time,
The streets don’t give a damn.
They’re filled with such pollution.
The kids don’t stand a chance.
We’re trapped inside a matrix,
Forced to play our hands,
We’re filled with so much hatred.
The kids don’t stand a chance
Over the past couple weeks the news has been filled with unfortunate events involving children. A college student found dead, a 9 year old girl kidnapped and strangled, another teenage girl gone missing, a baby dropped from a window, a 6 year old girl given botox, and even a famous young boy was shot and killed within the last week. The kids really don't stand a chance.
I Don't Need Anyone
I don't fully understand me.
I don't need anyone to guide me.
I have feet that will wander if need be.
I Hate The Depression
Second Opinion
My To Do List from last week; look how much I've gotten done
1. Figure out text for Discussion in Chase class
2. Find thesis based on theory.
3. Write Rough Draft Essay
4. Write FInal Draft Essay
5. Figure out the key points that I need for my business plan
6. Write out rough draft timeline for capstone.
7. Tracking
8. Research For Thompson Benchmark
9. Research and understand structuralist theory.
Planning with (Plural N- Word)
.....
"I'm looking for a house that will sleep 16 people."
......... (13 bedroom house)
"Well, now we have 21 people, is there enough space?"
........ (someone else rents the house before we get our deposit in)
"Well we need about 4 hotel rooms now."
.....
"We just need two cheap hotel rooms for the weekend."
......
"One room is fine; it'll just be 5 of us."
PROMgress.
Middle Woman
13 Days
Hospital Files
Hospital Files
Human Stuff
ComPROMises.
Wednesdays
My head snaps to look at Slim. "Zap!"
Slim turns and claps his hands towards Rob. "Zop."
Rob looks at Cam. "Zip."
Cam looks at Jay. "Zap."
Jay stops to think as quickly as he can. "Zap! No wait... fuck."
We all start to laugh.
"Sit downnnn." Cam yells, ready to continute with the game.
"Ready?"
"Yeah," we all answer with competitive smiles.
"Zip!" Cam continued the stupidest, but the most fun game we all played.
This Is It?
Give Me an Open Ended Project
I still love them.
Adorable
Campaign of Love
There's a girl
My Mom Left
Dear Self Esteem,
Signed,
Nobody
Dear Depression,
Lenea
Talked to the financial advisor at Penn State
Spring Break To- Do List
2. Go to Franklin Mills try o a price prom dresses.
3. Walk around down town; try on and price prom dresses.
4. Get hair done in some type of way that'll last a while.
5. Go anywhere else I need to try on and price prom dresses.
6. Set up a time and place for everybody to meet about the house for prom weekend.
7. Read two books and write essays for contest.
8. Find more scholarships.
9. Apply for more scholarships
10. Research for capstone.
11. Work on capstone.
12. Decide on a prom dress.
13. Relax.
With Salad and Garlic Bread
As I Lay Still
Open Letter
A Word of Advice
POW- Alicia Keys
Of words unsaid
Just lonely feelings
Locked away in my head
I trap myself further
Every time I stay quiet
I should start to speak
But I stop and stay silent
And now I've made
My own hard bed
Inside a prison of words unsaid
I'd like to think that I could've written something like this if she hadn't published this.
How People Fall in Love
Depressed Feet
Story Telling
Dear Prom
I hate you. I don't really, but I want to. You cause too much drama. You draw up too many emotions. You hurt feelings, bruise confidences, and confuse or frustrate everyone in your path. You know what? Let's fight. You give me the time and the place and I'll be there. Well, I'll try to. Hopefully, I'll make it.
Lenea
Reflective Post
Most Valuable Organ
The Story of Enron
Hungry Ego.
Crashing.
More Ideas.
Selfish Pride.
Crashing.
Greedy pockets.
Greedy bank accounts.
Crashing.
Somewhere in between
Crashing
and
The Ending.
It's all Over.
Reflective Post
Serenity
Finally
Saturday
Fed Up
"Get out of her face!" She screamed and her hand flew up and made contact with his face. He was caught of guard and fell in the direction of the smack. He jumped back up swiftly and tackled her to the ground.
I jumped from the couch and pulled him off her, pushed him back, calmed him down, then went to help her up from the floor. She tried to grab a window that was lying up against the wall, but I snatched it from her and put it back. She started to complain about her arm, while clutching at her heart.
She picked up the phone and began to speak; I never saw her dial any number.
"Come and get him! He threw me on the ground! If ya'll don't come and finish it, then I will."
She hang up the phone. They carried on in an argument. She constantly told him to get out, and assured her that he planned on leaving. The next morning, Bobby left, vowing never to come back again.
K.I.S.S.
Courage
Benchmark Reflection #1
Ugh Prom: 17 Words that Turn Prom into a Headache
1. Dress colors
2. Budgets
3. Dress style
4. Prom tickets
5. Budgets
6. Dress.
7. Shoes.
8. Hair.
9. Make- up.
10. Budgets
11. Accessories.
12. Jewelry
13. After prom
14. Hotels
15. Beach house
16. Budgets
17. Friends
Away One Day
I never really react.
I honestly expect it.
Wish for it.
Then maybe there would be peace
For once.
She threatened to leave last night.
Packed a bag.
And left.
I didn't really react.
I expected it.
Wished for it the moment before.
Hoping for peace
For once.
Unsurprisingly she came back.
I knew she would.
She's too predictable.
But one day
She'll actually go away
And I doubt I'll react
Unexpect it
Unwish it
But there probably won't be any peace
For a while
S-A-R
BBL
Not A Party Girl
This is my last round of catch- up
But This Wasn't Goodbye: It Was the Hello that was Depressing
Saturday
Friday
Speechless
A Pain's Worth
Have you ever had to go through the school day holding back tears and trying to avoid collapsing with every step you take? Not many people can attest to that. This was my wednesday, but still I went with my friend to the Emergency room so that she wouldn't be by herself.
Unsuccessful, Cope
*Monday*
I keep forgetting to post these damn stories. So I'm gonna post them all in one post.
That was for Monday.
For Tuesday
I pride myself in being able to undoubtedly say that I have found and have practiced the epitome of the word cope. I used to hate that word when it was mentioned by my therapist. I used to think that "coping" was impossible when the my surrounding environment was constantly changing, but always negative. But over the past few weeks, maybe even months, I've been completely peaceful at mind. No matter what situation I found myself sitting in, while watching my friends fret and become emotional over the smallest events, I realized that I am hardly affected. At home, an environment that used to overwhelm me each and every day has become home. Anything and everything that my mother has said or constantly says, has done or constantly does to me does not anger or depress me anymore. I've realized that she is human. She controls her actions, decisions, and wahtsoever. And it is not my responsibility to control her, and it never has been. Understanding that: 1) I can't control her (or any other human for that matter), and 2) that its not my job to has taken a burden off of me. I'm at ease now.
Just A Thought
I wish I could write a poem that bled all of the thoughts from inside of my head, but I get so caught up in the stereo types of "creativity" that I get in my own way.
Instead I'll simply release my thoughts one by one, and one day weave them together into one work of inspiration.
For Saturday: We Are...
This later turned into the infamous slogan, "We Are... Penn State!"
For Friday: Cheating
The Year of Long Goodbyes
My best friend realized the distance today.
The Green Grass Still Grows
The prettiest tree
That you ever did see.
Oh the tree in a hole,
And the hole in the ground
and the green grass grows all around all around
and the green grass grows all around.
And from this tree,
there grew a limb
the prettiest limb
that you ever did see.
Oh the limb on the tree,
and the tree in a hole.
and the hole in the ground,
and the green grass grows all around, all around
and the green grass grows all around."
And on that limb there was a branch. The prettiest branch that you ever did see.
But this children's song skipped an important part.
[Extended Version]
And on that branch,
there grew a leaf.
the prettiest leaf
that you ver did see.
But winter came,
and those pretty leaves and pretty branches fell off.
So that pretty tree stood alone.
But the green grass still grew all around, all around
The green grass still grows all around.
Should've Seen it Coming
The Simple Things
Black and White is one of my favorites on the game.
Hurt
For Saturday: Beauty
Pink Friday: Another Nicki
For Thursday.
For Wednesday. 3/2 [MY BIRTHDAYYYYY]
For... Tuesday 3/1- Neglect
Two Days Before My Birthday
The Epitome of Chance
1. Worth Remembering
2. Nonexistent
I hope my brother makes the right choices when they involve my nephew, because a nonexistent childhood can lead to a nonexistent adult.
Alternate Endings
Birth
Pure
Affection
Innocence
Childhood
Play
Laughter
Experience
Intelligence
Wisdom
Opportunities
Decisions
Opportunities
Decisions
Love
Marriage
Happiness
Back to start, but add an s.
The Life Story of Many
Birth
Neglect
Yearn
Desolation
Despair
Understanding
Numbness
Decisions
Alternate Endings
Too many have lived, are living, and will live out this storyboard.
A Human's Worth
I thought about it. I only understood that it was larger than I could ever expect.
So many people don't understand how unimportant they are in this universe.
He said, "The only thing that makes you worth anything is making someone else happy."
Staircase Suicides (for 2/24)
My eyes widened in surprise.
"Ready?"
I stepped onto the first step but my legs wouldn't move. He chuckled and gave me a motivational push.
"Come on LeLe, you can do this; let's go."
I sighed. Forget about a healthy lifestyle; prom better be worth this.
Suicide
It's Hair Again
monday
Enjoying the Simple Things About Ichat
comfortable1114 cracks the hell up and almost falls out of chair
comfortable1114 then realizes that he made the uptown tweak list making him fancy now
Lenea jumps up in joy and rushes to check the list to see if she, too is fancy
Lenea is also fancy
comfortable1114 rejoices in his friends new found fanciness and throws a "I'm fancy now" debutant ball in celebration of the commemorative event
Lenea wears her freakum dress to the event because ofcourse- fanciness is a privelege not a promise- and must be kept
Lenea encounters Chris Brown at said debutant
comfortable1114 throws chris brown the fuck out because he came in the wrong lambo disgracing the "Lamborghini Truck you ain't even seen it yet charity", thus making Tweakin OFK Lay the new chairman of the board
Lenea celebrates the event by showcasing her new Lamborghini Truck at the "Lambotghini Truck you ain't even seen it yet charity" but P.Diddy hops in and tries to steal it
10:13 PM
comfortable1114 allows the thievery of Tweakin OFK Lays Lamborghini Truck because P. Diddy has his money up fucking with them white folks and there isn't really anything in his power to stop him. In exchange Diddy has to throw Tweakin OFK Lay's video all up on the Muh Effin youtube
Lenea gathers her nephews to search for blues clues but sees a link about a new rap bitch so she clicks it. She thought her computer had a virus but realized that the rappin bitch resembled miley cyrus. She decided to simmer them hips before replyin
A story that a friend and I collaborated on in the beginning of the school year. We were exploring ichat. Please excuse the foul language.
Perfect Timing
*I was gonna write a once sentence story anyway. I get online, and everybody's stories are 6 words long. My laziness has perfect timing.
Be Careful: A story made
I've Been, I am, But I Want...
I am a writer. I haven't written a poem in months; but I work on my novels daily. I've added a few words to my vocabulary, but not many. The stories still seem never ending; written in pure dramatization and ending abruptly. I save any deleted content and value everything. Because these stories or scenes, are my escape into a life that I have created. A life that has been stuffed onto a 13- inch screen, but can never be limited in words, font size, or font color.
But I've never shared anything with anyone outside my comfort zone. It may seem strange my comfort zone includes people that I don't interact with physically on a day- to- day basis. I've shared my creations online or through email. I've sent 100 pages of imagination to people that live in Oklahoma, or Chicago. But when my best friend since 10th grade asks me to send him something, I get nervous. I anticipate judgement.
I am a writer; I've been a writer. But I want to be a publisher.
Ruff Love
<3
He grabbed her hand and kissed the top of her head.
“It’s always been that way.”
Sometimes the Heart Orders A Platter it Can't Afford
Me: smh. looking at flight prices. =/
I wanted to bring Jalen to prom, but idk if thats gonna work. smh.
Her: awww.
how much is it gonna cost?
Me: everytime i look it up i keep getting 422 exactly. Once I got 350, but thats still so much when I have so much more to pay for with prom.
i half way already made up my mind that it won't work out, but then the're 15% that's like maybe if...
so I keep going back to it lol.
I hate my heart sometimes.
Her: it til work out
but i mean
:/
he wont do it
well i think he wont
Me: lol i asked him and he said he would, but then I keep wondering like when the time comes what if he didn't/
I've considered it all lol.
Her: ohh okay
cuz i was like
what if he dont do it?
you spend all your time doing all this stuff
for nothing
and then imma be mad at him
for saying he was going to do it
he just be lying
he one of those typr of ppl to hype it up and dont do shit
Happy Birthday Dad
*I'd post our video, but don't know how to.
250 Word Sentence: Hoping for a Joke
Victoria sat on the cushion of the windowsill in deep thought, switching between glancing down at the dark vacant street below her, which was occupied by only two sleeping cars; one blue, one white, and then up at the sparkling starry sky while she hoped that at least one of the burning bodies of gases had received all of her telepathic wishes and had sent her back some sort of confirmation that earlier that day when Bobby Johnson had approached her in the hallway and grabbed her hand to pull her aside to say “Vicky, I… well, we…. I mean, I should first say that I… no wait, she became… sweet heart Lisa and I are having a baby,” he was jokingly referring to the most popular senior health project where the students pair up and take care of a child, and that when she laughed and shoved him playfully, replying, “Omigod, shut up- really? It’s such a shame; that child will die in days,” he would’ve smiled and agreed with a laugh of his own while wrapping his arms around her comfortably and reminding her of her future in bearing his children instead of remaining serious and grabbing her hand, holding onto it and refusing to let go until she undoubtedly understood that he was seriously and literally going to have a child with Lisa, who was not only her best friend since pre- school, but the one who had introduced Bobby to her as her first cousin, but dragging her along through this disturbing joke was just too much fun for him.
It's Not Yet Over
Senior Changes Things
Bureaucracy Reflection: Flow Chart for FAFSA
- My partner and I, Amber chose to create a flow chart that displayed the process of completing the FAFSA. FAFSA means Free Application for Federal Student Aid. With completion of the application, eligible students receive federal aid to pay for college. Amber and I decided to identify the main components of the process first. Then, we went into further research to find the step- by- step procedures, and all of the small details that take effect on the process of filling out a FAFSA. We made a rough draft of the steps and continued to edit it until we both agreed on the information and the format of how the information would be displayed. We made our flowchart on a website where we both could work on it at the same time.
The actual FAFSA application is pretty simple as long as you have the information you need. If you are a student with no job, and no source of income, then your section of completing the application is easy. The parents are the ones who may have to calculate yearly income and things like that, but the application doesn't call for too much. It can be completed in one sitting.
If I could change one thing about the FAFSA process, I'd change how it determines the 'Expected Family Contribution'. The application requires student and parents to input tax information and they use that information to determine how much money a person should be able to afford to pay for his college education. I'd change that because in my situation, the tax returns and the amount of my money that my family can actually afford to pay will be two completely different results.
I don't think that FAFSA is entirely complicated, but anything that deals with receiving money from the government wether it's free money or loaned money will not a very simple process. Any process that involves the government will reflect the government, and the government is not simple.
Final Blog Post For Same Sex Marriage in Pennsylvania
Facebook Page
I wanted to write and present a petition, but then I realized that I didn't know EXACTLY what I would be requesting in the petition. I haven't written a new policy to suggest, so I stalled on trying to figure that out.
Q2 Benchmark Reflection
There is no doubt in my mind that my life will be more affected by the government as I get older. In only a few months, I’ll be legally responsible for myself, and that will apply a new set of laws to me. In years, I will be buying a house, or paying bills, or getting married and all of those actions involve the government.
This project has helped me
realize that the government does not only affect those that vote for the
officials. I’ve always known that the government interacts with each citizen in
many ways, but this project has helped me pinpoint specific laws, offices, and
court cases that affect me personally.
Interacting With My Government
Communication Tactics
Though there comes a time to become active, I don't feel educated enough to immerse myself into specific levels of action. I want to cover a wide array of aspects when attacking this issue. I feel that communication tactics that are on a more personal level such as making an appointment for a meeting with a representative or even phone calls and emails are something that shall come after the "smaller" or more publicly involved forms of communication.
I plan to: (in order)
- Start a Facebook or some form of popular media campaign spreading awareness. (Kind of like the so- called Child Abuse Awareness Campaign on Facebook, or the Breast Cancer Awareness situation with the posting of the color of bras.)
- Start a petition.
- Send
- Possibly arrange rallies or demonstrations.
- Send emails, fax, and make phone calls to the senators and governor.
- Set up a visit with senators and/ or the governor.
Researching The Issue: Same Sex Marriage in Pennsylvania
I looked into each member on the list of state legislators for pennsylvania, and each of them voted Nay on the Same Sex Marriage Resolution Act in 2006. This Act followed the Defense of Marriage Act; and both gave states the right not to recognize a same sex marriage that was granted in another state. They all also voted Nay on the Marriage Definition Constitutional Amendment. This shows the history of their votes on anti- gay marriage legislature, but it doesn't show their position on the issue. Many of the politicians did not give their position on the issue of same sex marriage. I don't know how to analyze that fact.
Senator Arlen Spector is my main 'opponent' in this process. He voted the Defense of Marriage Act through a decade ago, and according to Project Vote Smart, shares very little interest with the Human Rights Campaign- who actively promotes gay rights. As a State Senator, he has an important vote in the legislative process, but if his one opposing vote stood alone, it wouldn't have much effect.
Governor Ed Rendell didn't openly express his position on the issue of gay marriage, but I'd assume that he is a supporter, and as Governor, his final approval makes the process run smoother.
No recent policy has been written for Pennsylvania on the topic of same sex marriage, but acts, laws, and policies have been written and/ or passed in other states.
There are many public supporters behind this issue, but I would say that the most active, and the most publicized would be the Human Rights Campaign which is nation- wide.
I began to look through the list of lobbying issues and topics, but did not find anything related to same sex marriage recognition in pennsylvania. To be honest I didn't look through the entire list, so I'm sure there are many, I just cannot name any specific lobbyist or group of lobbyists.
Hopefully I'll influence all allies of the Lesbian, Bi- sexual, Gay, and Transgender community to become actively involved in the politics of their residential state at least because the legislature of their state affects them immediately before any other legislation.
Link to House Committee Meeting Schedules:
http://www.legis.state.pa.us/WU01/LI/CO/HM/COHM.HTM
Link to Senate Committee Meeting Schedules:
http://www.legis.state.pa.us/WU01/LI/CO/SM/COSM.HTM
Move Out Day By Lenea Harris
*Work Cited on Last Slide.
Election Day
1.What motivated you to come out and vote?
"[I] Didn’t want things to bogged up by the republicans."
2. Do you vote in every election? (How regularly do you vote?)
"Yes."
3. What would you like to see changed in our political system?
"Republicans come up with a platform that works for everybody."
4. Do you know why we vote on Tuesday?
"Not really. "
5. Where have you encountered the highest amount of ad campaigning?
"Television."
6. What was the most memorable campaign ad that you have encountered?
"The one that says that 'Tooney gets jobs for china.'"
7. Are you always sure of who you are going to vote for when you walk into the booth or are you still deliberating?
"I'm sure. "
8. What changes do you hope to see in Philadelphia as a result of this election?
"More jobs."
9. What impact do you feel that your vote will have on the election?
"Less republicans in office. "
10. Did you learn about voting in school? If yes, did that impact your willingness to vote?
"Yes, and yes. "