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I was the most focused on college related material than I've ever been. I spent the entire day adding strangers on Facebook and looking for potential roommates if I happen to enroll into Penn State. I looked at all of the housing options and read the rules and policies of the dorms and halls. Every social page that was relative to Penn State had the saying "We Are" included somewhere. All of the accepted students were chanting this phrase, and all of the videos I watched has students yelling these words. I looked up the meaning behind "We Are... Penn State!" and found a video on youtube. A black man named Wally Triplett was PSU's first black football starter back in 1947. In 1948, Penn State was set to play in the Cotton Bowl against Southern Methodist University, but a black person had never played in the Cotton Bowl before. SMU wanted to meet with Penn State and suggest that they leave their black players behind. One of the guards, Steve Suhey commented, "We're Penn State. There will be no meetings." 

This later turned into the infamous slogan, "We Are... Penn State!"     

hold my hand until the end 

I keep letting myself get behind in these stories. I'm not really sure why. I'll catch up. then let a few days build up on me. Maybe I go by the posting of everyone else. Some post all the week's stories at once. All I know is, I'm gonna work on recreating my nightly posting habit. 

Mi libro es un buen ejemplo de "magical realism". Todas las cuentas se tratan de emociones y personajes realistas, pero las situaciones son fantásticos - no mucho, pero un poco. Estoy empezando ahora una cuenta sobre una mujer quien a veces sienta los emociones de otra mujer, una mujer muy lejos. Ya no entiendo porque ni quien es la otra, pero yo se que afecta mucho la vida de la mujer. Pienso que los autores hispánicos (y de otras países también) utilizan "magical realism" porque es una manera en que puede cambiar la situación y entonces los entonces los emociones de los personajes. Es como una exploración de los emociones, usando situaciones que son un poco fantásticos.

Even though I hate sunday's, I had something to look forward to today. Selection Sunday!!! Everybody fill out your brackets! May the best college basketball team win lol

Jordan: Yo Tajh why you looking at him like that?
Tajh: Cause man....
Jordan: Ctfu o shit I know why, you uncomfortable in here because of what happen, aren't you?
Tajh: Lol yea man that shit making want to leave. 
Jordan: Lol chill chill we just got here, just go talk to Naadir and all them and get your mind off it. 
Tajh: Ard man I didn't come all the way down here this late at night to just go home. We're going to have a good time.
Jordan: Lol ard bro lets get it. 

No matter what the road. Our paths still has a load of loves, and lust and not much trust. But are really telling me that this can't be us?? Hold on, let me get this right. You want us to be official and make this thing for real. Are you for real? Baby let me know! You want to make me the happiest man in the world, is that the deal? Girl for real?! Baby please be sure :/

Today I woke up, taught a Sunday school class, went to see Red Riding Hood (which was actually kind of good), visited my grandmother for a few minutes, took a shower and then I almost fell asleep while playing guitar. Pretty good day, sleepy day, but pretty good day.

​get out = gout'

" gout my room little girl"

talking about some = talmasome'

"yeah she was talmasome  i had to go to the store"


i hate her lazy talk, i hate it

Although cleaning can be very tedious, I always feel so accomplished after. I feel accomplished for two reasons; 1 being that the house or room is actually clean and 2 is that I actually had the motivation to get up and do it (without being told). Almost nothing else makes me feel more accomplished than cleaning except for getting into colleges and running more than 2 miles.

It was a normal friday day in school. Everything was well. 2nd period just ended and now it was my lunch time. I always look forward to lunch because I’m always hungry. I packed myself a large turkey ham hoagie from the corner store. It was delicious.

I'm sick of this 
I'm worn out
I am a page that has been torn out
A picture that has been burned
I am sick, I am crazy
I'm always being called lazy
I do my best and I'm told that I can do better
I pray for sunshine, but I can't mess with the weather
I'm the gum off of someone's shoe
I am looking for my reason to live, I truly don't know what to do
I have been told by others that I am crap
Hearing people talk about me behind my back
I am fat, lonely, I can't run a lap
I cover my head, while people tell me i'm a load of crap
I know that most of this stuff is true
But tell me, what am I to you?

Check... Cash... Food... Clothes... Music... Gone.

The following students received awards for their presentations at the 2011 Carver Science Fair:

Jeff Kessler: 2nd place in Medicine and Health
Manna-Symone Middlebrooks: 3rd place in Biochemistry
Cheyenne Pagan: 2nd place in Medicine and Health
Vincent Russell: 3rd place in Environmental Science and Naval Science Special Award
Winston Wright: 1st place in Earth and Space Sciences
Shamarlon Yates: 1st place in Microbiology

I was with them for Christmas one year. They weren’t particularly generous, but they did get me a diary. I would write in it everyday. I never had any toys to play with at their house, so this would generally occupy my time. I would never let them see it, obviously. No, that would just make them angrier. I wrote on the last page “And then I died of pneumonia.” Because I couldn’t imagine, or rather, I didn’t want to live past a certain age.

 

I am currently very unsure of how my future is going to pan out.

For the longest time, I planned on attending Philadelphia University for four years and study biology.  In the meanwhile, I was hoping to get an apartment with my boyfriend and further my career at ACME to maintain a steady income.

That was until I received my final financial aid packet in the mail yesterday.

I received absolutely no free money other than the $12,000 a year scholarship that I already knew about.  Sure, $12,000 a year is great.  But I still have to pay another $16,800 a year.  How the hell am I going to do that?

They told me that I could break that money up into three different loans.  However, they want my parents to pay a "Parent Plus" loan of about $13,000 a year.  That's about $52,000 total.  And then they want me to pay the additional $5,500 a year. 

It is true that my parents make a combined $160,000 a year, approximately.  But the problem is that financial aid apparently does not take into account the fact that I have three other siblings, including one that will be attending college in two years, also.  In addition to that, my parents already have enough debt to deal with anyway.  The bottom line is that they can not and will not pay that much money.  And I have no idea how I can get $5500.

And I am sure as hell not taking out a million loans and ending up with $110,000 worth of debt once I graduate college.

So I am basically screwed.  All of my dreams of attending a four-year college are gone.  Now, I am most likely going to have to attend Community College for two years on a part-time level so that I can work full-time to pay for the classes.  My life sucks right about now.

The only good thing is that my relationship with Eric is still growing stronger each day, and that that apartment idea is still on my mind.  Hopefully things will get better throughout the year, especially once I turn eighteen in August.

so recently , i wanted to try something new. i wanted curly hair. ...the kind you buy though..because between me and the world there is no way that my nappy grain of hair could ever be curly.
i searched online for the best kind to get, some of the weaves were expensive and some were extremely cheap. i showed at least 15 people the hair style i wanted, and they all said . " no, you shouldnt get that, or no that wouldnt look right on you, try one thing at a time ." NOT ONE PERSON, agreed on this hairstyle that i admired so much. One thing i know about myself is that im easily influenced. so eventually i thought about it hard and long and ended up not really making up my mind because of what everyone said.  i wanted this curly hair though, really bad. some of my friends suggested i get a deep loose wave weave, or a straight weave instead. but something about this curl attracted me. now i never had a curly weave in my life, but

 anyway  , today i went to buy the hair. THE CURLY HAIR!  and although i dont really like the way it turned out and i see that curly hair isnt for me im glad that i listened to myself. im glad that i made a decision for myself.  i guess im finally taking the first steps into living for my own purpose.  im proud of me for considering other peoples opinions and still sticking to mines. im really proud.

Standing outside the bathroom for ten minutes under the impression the door is locked. Reading a paper as I wait. A woman comes over and gets in line behind me. We wait. She is approached by two lovely drunks eager to flirt. Awkward, slurred conversation commences. She gets uncomfortable and I check the door once more and realize it was not locked, merely heavy. Shame then takes a physical form and forever attaches itself to my back.