a donde yo vivo y que yo gusta
-what are you espically happy about with your first draft?
yo lo hice
-what would you like to improve about your refran first draft?
tratar de limpiar lo que puede ser en una canción
- what was diffcult about writing your refran?
tratando de hacer una canción
Me gusta que mama,
Usted el siente el mismo?
Te amo papa,
Usted el siente el mismo?
Tú es el solo uno que puede me hacen sonreír.
Yo no quiero…. perderte usted.
perderte usted. (:
Y mucho dinero
que vivimos, la respiración, y comer philly
porque esta es nuestra ciudad
After an hour or so of playing my video games and speaking on the phone with my girlfriend I started to feel tired and that’s when I noticed something. There they were in the kitchen my mom, sisters and my dad were playing around very loudly with a Spanish accent. I felt a little left out and couldn't really hear them that well, But I wanted to be funny, so i said something to him “Dad why you acting so hype and loud,” my dad replied “What What ! I can acted how i feel because i do what i feel you know” right after his reply I knew he was playing because he was still speaking in the accent, I told him, “ha ha i understand but you acting real weird” then he changed his accent to imitate Scarface and replied, “look listen to me, ever day until Friday when my vacation start I'm going to come with a different accent “I thought about what he said and the only thing i kept thinking was it’s Tuesday and I’m going to have to listen to his ridiculous act for another three day’s. but then i said my thoughts out loud “This is going to be funny” he heard me say that with no problems “What’s so funny about the way I act jermel” he said this with a female voice it was by far the funniest voice i ever heard. I just had nothing to say to that so i told him “ you know what you got it.” then he started to laugh and was like okay “I'm done that was to funny” Then he yelled “Who you talking to on the phone, Tiye” everyone always knew i was talking to tiye on the phone because i was always on the phone with her. “ Yea” then he asked this question he always asked “ how do y’all talk on the phone so much and never get bored or anything.” i just replied the same way i do any other time. “ We just talk i don’t know” but then he changed the subject and told me to tell tiye something “Yo for real tell tiye she crazy” Then i pauses the game and asked him to repeat what he said. “She crazy if she messing with you” i laughed, unpaused the game and told tiye “ My dad said your crazy because your going out with me” she replied as she laughed, but she felt awkward and said “ Ummm okay” she said this fairly slow like she didn't know what to say. “ Dad she said okay” I'm guessing he didn’t hear me because he stayed talking to my sister. I just continued to play my game and talk to tiye.
My dad was talking about how he is so happy that his vacation is coming and i was happy too because really i don't get to see him that much because he work all the time. We was supposed to have a great vacation.But not everything goes as planned.
It’s been two day’s and with one blow everything changed. Again I’m on the phone with tiye playing around with her. “ I gotchu don’t speak no words to me good bye.” I hanged up the phone to mess with her but as soon as i hanged up the phone my mom call me in the kitchen. “ Jermel come here i need to talk to you” I’m nervous because when she say that i know it’s ether I'm in trouble or somethings wrong , but as soon as i walked i realized something was terribly wrong, my mom face had tears running down them and her face was down. She started to look up at me and i said “Mom What’s wrong?” with tears poring she said “ Uncle Rif passed away” the feeling of a very strong punch to the heart but i didn’t cry. it was weird, i said to her “ Mom what happen” she just said real fast “He stop breathing” I just hold her until she let go and she went in her room and i went to my room. When i went to my bed I Called her to talk to her. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to because everyone always tell me i have to be strong for other people even if I’m hurt, but she didn’t answer my call so i texted her and explained that i need to talk to her I wasn’t playing around. After i sent the texted her, I call again and she answered and i told her what happen.
Later on that day i was just in my room relaxing playing my PlayStation 3 and my cousin Aquil walk in With a 76ers Jersey on and basketball short. Aquil is my uncle rif “Yo Mel-Mel wassup” He looked like he was 6’5 “Nothin playing call of duty as always man, but how you been, you good” “Yea I’m good chillin over grammy house, you should come over sometimes.” when he said that all i thought was ever time i go to grammy house i get in soo much trouble because i act so retarded over there. I Just replied “ I Will but you know my parent be drawlin all the time” I Guessed he believed me because he looked at me as if he understand exactly what I’m talking about then he just said “ True Cuz they do be drawlin all the time ha-ha but what’s up with you and all the Lady’s” I laughed in my head because he always trying to make a joke. “Man I Have a serious relationship right now don’t laugh at me ha” then he replied ”Man I'm not going to laugh I'm in one to and I’m enjoy it.” Then he look at the game and said “Come on cuz let me trash you in this real quick” He seemed okay but i knew he was feeling hurt and sad because his father just passed and i know if my father passed i would be hurt. At this time i had so much respect for him and i kinda looked up to him. One thing that always hurt me is to have to watch my family cry and be hurt, and for my cousin to a have to watch his 5 year old brother talk about “Daddy, Daddy, where is Daddy” And His little Sister that is 14 cry her heart out because her father will not be coming home anymore. I really don’t know how he Did it but he showed me a different part of him and i will never look at him the same.
By the Night i went to talk to my dad because he always told me how close uncle rif was to him. all i asked him “Are you he okay” and he just replied “yea man” but i really didn’t have anything to say about it to him. i really was worried for him. but i didn’t know what to do.
After the funerals Day’s later. I Reflected on everything. Everyone knows that Men always have to be strong for the Woman, but I've learned that it’s not something you learn, it’s something that comes naturally. No Matter how hurt we are as men, we will always try to keep our feeling to our self. I can say with being a male our job is to make sure everyone Else is okay and stay strong for females in our life. It comes natural like a habit but it is something we have to do and will always do.
I stepped in my house very eager because I couldn’t wait to go upstairs in my room and rest my brain. Instead I was greeted by all of my family members. I guess they expected me to be an emotional wreck. However, it was the complete opposite. I was expecting myself to flood Philadelphia with my tears, but my eyes were as dry as the Sahara desert. This was not healthy for me. I needed to let it out. I felt since everyone around me needed somebody to lean on, I had to be the strongest thirteen-year-old there was.
I sat down at my dining room table, frustrated with life. My sister approached me with her big brown eyes filled with water. I didn’t need that right then. I needed a break from everyone’s tears and heartbreak. Anybody could tell that I was tight-lipped because I needed to find out how to deal with my pain. However, I sucked it up and told my sister “What did grand mom always tell us to do when we felt like there was nothing left?” She was so hysterical she could barley answer, so she shrugged. My grandmother always told us to pray. I grabbed my sister’s hand very gently, and brought her over to the piece of art work (The Lord’s Supper). She looked at me and grinned.
My mother handled this situation better than I thought she would. I didn’t see her shed a tear. I did something I was very wary about because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I asked my mother why didn’t she cry when her mother died. She looked at me and said, “I had nothing to cry about.” She did everything right by her mother she stated. She felt that her brother and sisters were so emotional because when their mother was alive, they didn’t do everything for her that they were capable of doing. As a result of that, they felt guilty. I started to think how my aunts and uncle felt at this moment. I asked myself “If my mom died today, would I be pleased with how I treated her?” I couldn’t help but cry myself a river. In my eyes I treated my mother so poorly.
Waking up on Sunday mornings are complicated. I am always plotting a plan so it can keep me from going to church. Every Saturday night my mother tells me, “Get your clothes out Lex and be ready for church”. Then I say in my head, “Yea yea, I’m not going to be anywhere but my comfy bed”. Usually my excuses like “My tummy hurt mommy”, or “I’m so tired”, works on my mom. This Sunday morning, my mom was on something totally different.
I heard the creeks of my floor on this beautiful Sunday morning, and automatically thought “Get your game face on Lex”. I turned around peacefully and opened my eyes to my mother’s big round head and Chuckie look alike glasses from the Rugrats. She startled me, but I had to get back in character. I turned around and mumbled “Mom, my stomach hurts so I can’t go to church”. My mom said, “The heck you aren’t, I’m tired of your B.S Lex!” This came as a shock to me because I was use to the answer yes, not the two letter word that begins with the letter “N”.
My mom thought she had won but there is always a plan B in Lexus’s book. I figured maybe if I took forever, by the time my mom was ready to go, I wouldn’t be dressed and she would just leave me. I had another thing coming! My mom said, “Come on Lex!” I barely had any clothes on, so I yelled, “Mom are you kidding me… I barely have one leg in my pants”. She said, “Oh well whose fault is that, now come on”. I was almost devastated about this. I didn’t want people to see me at my worst in church. I know church is not supposed to be about showing off, it’s supposed to be about your worship time with the higher source. However, in my head first it’s about worshipping and second it’s a fashion show.
Getting in the car with my hair all over my head, no make-up, and no phone just seemed unreal to me. I was so appalled with the whole situation. I was furious with my mom. I dared my mom to ask me a question because she was definitely getting the silent treatment on this morning. I couldn’t let my mom tell that this was getting to me though because then she was going to feel that she won this war. I held my tears in that felt like they were trying to push out like a fifty-pound weights all the way to the church. Once we got to the church I finally snapped on my mother. I told her that she was a mean and horrible mother. I finally realized what I said and how much I hurt my mother’s feelings. My mom does everything in her power to take care of me and I don’t know what I would without her.
I don’t want to end up like my aunts and uncles. If my mom was to die today I would like to know that I did everything in my power to make her feel like she is the best mom in the world only because she is. I would be up to me head in guilt if she had died and I knew that I didn’t treat my mom with respect and expressed to her that I appreciated her.
“Dad and I need to talk to you about something,’ my mom said in a stern voice.
“Is it bad? Cause you seem sad.”
“You won’t be happy about it.”
“What is going on,” I ask cautiously.
“Your dad and I, we need to talk to you about something important.” My mom states firmly.
“What is it?’
“Your mom and I have been having some problems. Problems that aren’t getting ironed out,’ my dad says
“What kind of problems,” I ask franticly.“WHAT? What does that even mean? You guys love each other and you are supposed to get along, perfectly.”
“Your dad and I are separating. He has to move out.”
“SEP-ER-ATING? What does that mean,” I state more confused than before.“I’ve never seen you guys argue.”
Well, we have been so we decided to separate. This is for your own good; we want you to grow up happy in a healthy home,” my dad says.
“Okay, I guess,” I say in an unsatisfied voice.
I didn’t know what else to say, I didn’t know what to do. How was I supposed to go to school with this feeling in my stomach? I cried for as long as tears were still coming out of my eyes.After my parents split, I use to lie to my friends or to anybody new I met. I didn’t want people to think I was in a broken home. I didn’t want people to think I was the reason why my parents split up. I never talked about my parents, never said anything about where I lived, or whom I lived with. For about 3 to 4 years, I never said anything about my parents or my home life.
I didn’t see my dad for a while, but when I did see him everything was different. My parents tried to work on getting along more just for me. They were getting good but I was still worried. The next thing I know we are going on vacation together. I never understood how a split up family could go on vacation. I swore my parents hated each other, I swore they never wanted to see each other again. I know they still loved me, but they didn’t love each other. How could they be together, at the shore for a week? I was scared for my dear life; I didn’t want to witness my parents getting into an argument. The drive to the shore was slow and full of anticipation I was just so excited to go to the shore, but in the back of my mind, my parents were always there. As the week went on, there weren’t any arguments; there weren’t any viscous looks at each other, just love. Everything was fine and dandy.As I got older, life got better. My dad and my mom were getting along better. We went out to dinner together, to the movies together, and different places. We went to Longhorns together and everything was amazing. We were able to laugh and eat in peace. We tried each other’s food. Things became clear. My parents became closer because of me. If I did something amazing, like getting great grades, they were happy. If I did something horribly wrong, they both showed the same amount of disappoint in me.
On my 8th grade graduation, I went out to dinner with them. We ate with the whole family. Everybody was laughing, and getting along. Nobody argued all day, it was just like the vacation to the shore. I wished for more days like this, when we looked like a normal family. The conversation was loving and not disrespectful.
“Dakota, what are you going to do now? HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT,’ my dad yells in the middle of the restaurant.
“Hahahahahaha, Troy. Don’t pressure the girl, she is fresh outta middle school,’ my mom giggles.
“You guys are so weird,” I say in a loving voice.
“We are so proud of you, Dakota,” they state in the most loving voice.
I made it all the way to high school, with the grades. I knew everything that I needed to know. I graduated 8th grade on June 13th, I never failed any classes or was left back. Just like any other married couple with a family, I had higher grades then some of than those kids. When I walked onto that stage, my parents gazed up at me, and then looked at each other. Right then, they knew and I knew. There wasn’t anything to every be ashamed of. They knew splitting up was better than me seeing people fight everyday or them holding it off. They knew that they raised me well. They were so proud of me and I was so proud of them. I rather am in a home with one parent, then being in a home with both parents who argue all the time.Now, I am older and the problems aren’t arguments between them, but arguments with me. I wouldn’t want to talk to them because I felt like they wouldn’t listen to me. I felt like a kid and they were ganging up on me. Now, it was 2 against 1. Some days I didn’t want to talk to my dad or on other days I didn’t want to talk to my mom. It was just like if we all lived in the same house. I would see my dad every other weekend or during the week. I live with my mom and we got into arguments. We were still a family, just in different houses.
I never should’ve hid anything; I am proud of where I come from. People still give me dirty looks when they find out about my parents. Why? Because they are just jealous. Jealous of the fact that my family had a rollercoaster of a life, and it isn’t even over yet. Jealous that the rollercoaster isn’t even done yet, the hills will get higher and then downfall will get longer. Only my parents can keep me anchored to the rollercoaster seat.
