This is the link to my video which is on youtube if it does not work let me know.
The high school experience I believe when you enter high school your secret won't be a secret anymore. High school teaches teenagers a lesson. In high school is where we cry laugh and live out our teenage years. I believe that high school is where relationships and friendships start and end. High school is a crazy but fun journey. I know that they we are going to have mistakes , broken friendships , broken relationships but it's all apart of life. Everybody is not your friend. Not everybody is going to like you. ¨ You're not going to fit in¨ ¨ She is so immature¨. Be open to changes. HS really presents you with more options, more viewpoints, more ideas. Keep your old friends, and make new friends very carefully. They are usually harder classes strict teachers, more classrooms, more friends and more freedom. High school is like a rollercoaster like pms where one day you're happy sad then nervous and scared. It all happens so fast that you forget how to feel. Whatever goes arounds come back around. You thought your dirty little secret was so safe and nobody heard of it . YOU'RE WRONG. You may never be safe in high school. I can say experience in high school is not forgettable. My high school will be apart of me because it made me. I found my personality and it because more enhanced. In middle school, I had only one group of friends I hung with; but in high school i expanded my social circle and started talking to everybody. I really witnessed myself growing as a person. I was never really shy when I was in middle school, but I was not as vocal. Highschool taught me how to be vocal and express myself and my opinions. I feel comfortable, because of the independence my school gives. It showed me the blind side of the world I never knew about the world. It showed me to be confident in myself, it showed me that you will never be like anybody else. God made you so you will have to love what he made. I learned to love myself. I learned that your not going to be like everyone else because life is going to be different and we were going to go separate ways. High school can also be a be a traumatic experience for people or it can be exciting for people. It´s all different for people. I think high school is a place where people will feel comfortable to come out and finally who they actually are. It might be a difficult transition for some people because they have to go through the things that comes with being LGBT. Identity is a big part of high school. Identity makes you stand out in school and you choose to and its different. I feel comfortable, because of the independence my school gives. We can have our phones out much more, it is more interactive, and it feels like my second home. I like that my school is fun. There is so much more to say, but this an experience i will never forget.
SHHHHHHH, be quite, listen, Hey do you hear that? Yeah that, while reading listening to the voice in my head read, like everyone reads with (like you are now) and thinks with. I realized I had multiple voices, don’t worry I’m not crazy- or at least I don’t think I am. I have more than my vocal voice and the one I think with, I also have two that tell me what to do. Some may just think I’m crazy but they are different, they sound different and have different tones and have different feelings, emotions and some don’t have any at all. Sometimes a lack of one voice makes for sadness, or anger while the lack of the other makes room for happiness and success. I believe that along we have three consciences and they control the forth one that the world gets to hear. I also believe that some people can hear your other voices when your souls connect, in a way no other does. Once I heard the saying “Two wolves live inside of you a good wolf and a bad wolf, they are in a constant fight, the one who wins is the one you feed.” I always thought after this my brain tells my speaking voice to say what the winning wolf says. There is no need to use your thinking voice in a moment of no ration and when all is done-one had just one. My mom always would say “Think before you speak”, I never could though. The thing is I never got the chance to. I always fought and fed the truth-telling side so I’d always open my ‘big-mouth’ so she’d always say-it was honest to me. On the flip side, there were moments the other wolf would win like hitting my brothers, acting before I thought because the wolves already came to their conclusion. I hate when someone tell’s me to shut up, me and my voices have so many thoughts to share. Now, I try to teach my niece to use the same logic as she speaks before she thinks. I believe there’s multiple versions of you controled by your consciences, i believe they grow, spiritual ones might arise, the one about your race, your sex, politics and so forth, they may also leave and you can always change it’s mind- just like I try mine. Philosophy and belief is what will drive my day, not letting the bad win over the good. Your voices will be your worst enemy, your best friends, your supporters, your naysayers, they can be your downfall or rise; Over the years I learned when to feed each voice and wolf, everyone must learn themselves, you must take them all and figure out what the perfect concoction off all your you’s and their voices are, so you can present the ones you want to feed onto the world. I’ll never hear “Hey do you hear me? I’m here and so are they, we are here so listen” They will never make themselves known but through the vast journey of your brain you will discover just like I did.
LOVE IS ALL WE NEED
I believe in love. The historical lust that was suddenly accepted because of God. Love has many forms. Not always good but never wrong. Sexually, romantically, and even hate. Some of our love stems from fear. It's love that gets me boxed up and hiding from an open window. It's love that makes me crazy enough to run outside in the middle of a thunderstorm at 1am and cry on the benches at 6. It's always stalking me. Haunting my flesh and making it sin. Giving me a thirst for action, love is always missing. It's like you could never get enough of it. I got some stories to tell....
Almost a decade ago, I met my dad. I can remember everything like it happened yesterday. My aunt gets into a car accident with my uncle. They make an connection with my mom. My mom then connect to my grandmother. There I am, sitting on my grand mothers couch. Staring at family pics knowing I'm not in none of them. Love hurts. It's dangerous to look at. I had this big smile on my face. A smile that was glazed in sweat created by nervousness. Then my father came. The smile grew more. We took family photos and I even worked with him the next day. That's was the last time I ever saw him. How can you love someone after two days when they been neglecting you for 12 years? It was my first heartbreak and I wasn't present to know. I believed every little bull shit of a lie that he told me. All the things he would do for me. All the things he hoped of me becoming. I could finally call someone dad without having that second thought. He never told me he love me. At Least, I don't think I ever heard him say that word . Maybe he did and I just forgot because I knew it was a lie. It never really matter to me though because I already had a love growing on him. Now I'm heart broken again and calling random men "daddy". Love makes you do crazy things.
Butterflies drifted away. The sun stood still. My eyes never opened that day. How can love do me like this? How dare it take away my pride and throw away my vision? Why did love make me blind? I never fell. I tripped on flat ground, treated it like a fall. I can't stop eating. Im gaining weight. No one's checking on me. My insecurities look so beautiful to me. If looks can be deceiving then why do we die from the same trick?
That day, love did not exist. It giggled at me while holding my veins tight. It embrace my body and ripped every man made thing off of me. It knew what it was doing. I am dumb and naive. I am dumb and wise. I am wise yet dumb. The setting was so perfect. It smelt so pretty. It felt so good. It read me like a dog begging to go outside to pee. All it had to do was unlock a few things and put a leash on me. Now the door is open. I only wanted to rest. Love woke me up. It made my words seem like corny excuses so I had to allow it. Love assaulted me that day. I went out to celebrate. I wanted love to assault me again and again and again. I try finding it in many other forms. It died. If It can die than it must've lived at some point. For it to live then it must've been real. It is real because I was forced to believe in it. I know it exist. I feel it everyday. I use it everyday. I taste it twice a week and I listen to it once every five years. I believe in love.
There is one quote I like from one of my favorite actors Jim Carrey. He once said ¨ Forget the pain, Mock the pain, Reduce it. And laugh.¨. I had chronic migraines from March of 2016 to April 6th,2017 the day of my septoplasty but we will see in mid June what my neurosurgeon says if I still have them. I probably had them longer but there is no way to tell.
The 3 days I sat there trying to avoid the discomfort of the stents,stitches,blood covered gauze pad,and trying to avoid sneezing and all without blowing my nose. Yes,that all sucked but in the end I have no headaches and a facelift with a nose job as well. Not only did I get a teenage girl's dream but for 3 days I got to watch my favorite comedians to relieve my pain even though I was not supposed to laugh. So it must true that laughing is the best medicine.
I believe that causing someone it or receiving it from someone laughter is the best medicine to feel better or just at random you don't even have to be sick. For this treatment I could either 1st go and and see the doctor at his office (buying a ticket right to show or movie),or 2nd I could call him and ask him to come to my house (Searching comedian on internet or watching movie on TV or On Demand). Well personally,I have multiple doctors (Comedians) I like to watch every time they are on. Here is the list Gabriel Iglesias,Jeff Dunham,Carlos Mencia,Adam Sandler,Kevin James,David Spade,Chris Farley,Jim Carrey,Joe Gatto,James Murray,Sal Vulcano,Brian Quinn and possibly a few other just to name a few.
I think that for those who have diseases or sickness or even recovering this really helps out. But the best one of all would possibly half to be doing your own comedy for those people. So for example let's say my mom is sick from the flu and she is bored but she does not want to watch TV so I crack some jokes or just at random say funny things and she laughs. I also crack jokes even when someone has surgery so my grandpop had surgery last week so I called him and told him jokes as well.
But if my jokes do not work their is always old plain 1 and 2. Which are going to see a comedian or just my favorite comedians and watching them. But there is one more option and this is probably the best one as well which is go and crack jokes with your friends. So here is an example you are sitting and then something funny happens boom everyone laughs and then we crack jokes laughs some more and then stop and repeat.
So if you want be happy after being sick,surgery or even if not sad at all just go ahead like I do and watch,see,do it yourself or do it with friends laugh and comedy.
