Kevin Kevin Kevin (Wednesday)

Kevin( my little brother)


" I remember one time I really didn't feel like going to school and mom specifically told me I had to go this day and I decided to be stubborn and just stay. So I decide I'm just gonna stay in my room until she goes to work. Well and hour passes, past the time she was supposed to leave and I start to get nervous. ohhhh my God, Kat, she called out! The one day I decide to stay home is the one day she wants to call off. So I'm thinking to myself it's cool, she never checks my room anyways so i'l be fine. But then I hear her walking in the hallway, to the bathroom and to her room and downstairs to her room; she just wouldn't stay still, and every time I heard her walk someone i was so scared (LOL). The messed up part was not that I got caught it's how I got caught and in which moment. ok, so, as I'm hiding  out, feeling like Ann Frank in the Attic, trying not to make any noise I suddenly have to pee! I tried to hide it as long as I could and I peeked outside of my door and she has both her room door and th bathroom door open, so it was automatically not an option to try and use the bathroom without being caught. It was too risky... Kat.. don't judge me. I really! Really! Really! had to go.. So i found a bottle in my room and used it if u know what i mean! :( .. literally a minute later all I hear is my scream, "KEVIN get down here!".. I forgot my book-bag downstairs. smh


The Real Me

I am suppressed. The real me. The me that hops up and down and waves my arms and pumps my fist and calls it dancing. The real me that cranks the music up to the point where my thoughts are just backdrop sounds that hop to the beat of the music as well. The me that believes music is life. That creativity is life. The me that used to believe that every writer should have a tattered leather bond journal that has the word “journal” in cursive on the front. It says I am mysterious, and well, I’m a writer. The me that usually hesitates to turn the corner in the case that I bump someone so hard that we nearly fall to the ground and my cool facade will be broken and I’ll be humiliated for life. The me that observes my friends and actually wonder if we’ll grow old together and still find that Spongebob and Patrick are funny even in our mid-eighties. I am suppressed because no one told me that it was okay to be myself. I don’t mean the sappy children shows that’s about Suzy finally gaining friends because she got the courage to ask to play blocks with the other children and that act alone defines her “individuality” as a child. No. No one has ever told me that it’s okay to not actually know how to dance like the video girls or the celebrities that dance in super exclusive VIP darkrooms in mega-VIP clubs in the heart of Hollywood or New York City. No one has ever told me that is okay not to have long flowy hair that permanently smells like strawberries and champagne. No one ever told me that it’s okay to not actually enjoy taste of beer and cigarettes at huge party that you don’t really feel comfortable in. If I had have known that it was okay to be the ordinary girl who knows how to just be herself, who is not really a party girl, who has an unrealistic dream to be a real writer with a real career, the girl who reads 20 books within a month and somehow manages to have some sort of social life; If would have known this, I would have found out who the real Onjelique was a long time ago. However, in retrospect, it’s better late than never. 

The Perfect Day

Today was the perfect day! I went to Colgate University, I went shopping, and I ate ice-cream [chocolate and cream] … It was awesome! I got home at around 9:00 pm and I noticed that I’ll have a quiz tomorrow [I haven’t yet study] I have 3 assignments to do. It is crazy! I’m probably going to stay up all night studying for the quiz. Well at least I can say that today was a perfect day [from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m.]

What do people think of me?

​One day last summer at work, a woman came up and ordered her food and then asked me to sing her something. I don't remember the words she used, but I gave her a confused look, and she said, "Oh come on, anything? You look like a theatrical person. I am a theatrical person, and I can usually spot other theatrical people." I honestly did not know how to respond. I shook my head and just said, "No. I can't sing." She was a little disappointed. I can't blame her, she sort of went out on a limb to just come up and ask someone something like that, though she was probably a little drunk anyway.

Looking back on it, I should have said something about playing the piano for 9 years. However, I certainly do not consider myself any type of theatrical person at all. I hate performing and I hate being on stage and getting all of that attention and being looked at by everyone at the same time. It makes me nervous and anxious and stressed and my hands sweat a lot. But it also got me thinking of all of the hundreds of people I interact with every day at my job and how each one probably judges me even in that short period of time of interaction. I wonder what all of the other people think of me...


I look like a Korean idiol?

 I shuffled through my iTunes till my favorite song blasted out my ears as Park Bom sang loudly opening lines "YOU AND I TOGETHER IT JUST FEELS SO RIGHT". I turned down the volume and looked at the screen. It was ironic that a person me and my friend were debating about came on my iTunes. I clicked back on to here box she went on aruging.
"You totally look like her"
"I do not she is korean"
"You have the same nose"
"I have my mother's nose"
"Your eyes are the same"
"Eh I doubt it"
-she sent a picture to me-
"See you look the same"
"You seriously think so?"
"Yes"
"Well I dunno..."

After that argument almost a year ago you can say I am convinced that at times we look a tiny bit alike. But not always it is just a bit a those random moments.

Best Day In A Long Time

Today, for what seemed like the first time in years but had actually only been a few weeks I chilled with my best friend after school. It lasted three hours, and it was wonderful. I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach all day when I hadn't seen her because we had no classes together and I hadn't seen her in the morning because I had gym class downstairs. So, when I finally met her at our locker I got extremely happy and smiled my brightest grin, and then I found out she was going to spend time with me. Needless to say, I was more excited than I have been in a long time because we almost never hang out anymore. So, today was a good day.

It's only hair...right?

Snip Snip Snip. I watched small curly pieces of my hair fall onto the smock. Normally when Ms. Pat, my hair dresser, cut my hair I do not worry, but today was a different story. See, I had already only had about 1 inch of hair to begin with, so this time was extremely scary. Conveniently, she faces the chair away from the mirror, so i have no idea what I am in store for when I turn around.​ Snip Snip Snip *pause to get bigger scissors* "You got to be kidding me" I though. Snip Snip. This goes on for another 10 mins. When she turns me around *silence* I have no hair. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but it's very close to it. I couldn't believe she would main me like this. I have trusted this women for years, and then she does this. As she messes with it, she says in her thick Trinidadian accent, "I looks real good. We gon grow it natural and then for prom we fix it up...ok?"
"Ok" I replied. Not Ok! I  was completely devastated. I went into the small bathroom and tried to convince myself that life in prison is not worth a couple inches of hair.
After I paid her and left, I got into my mom's car and let it all out. "I'M BALD!"
"No, you're not" she says.
"Do you see this...?" I replied as I looked at her long thick locks that I immediately  became jealous of.
"It looks cute, plus it's only hair" At that moment all my whining and complaining stopped. She was completely right (which is a rare thing), it's only hair. This had been my mantra for the past couple of months since I cut my hair. I guess I forgot it when I realized I had no 'hair' to say 'it's only' to.
When I got home I spent about 30 minutes in the mirror, trying to make it 'work' for me. After awhile a gave up, cause once again I realized it's only hair.

Late Night Text

Harrison: Hey
Me: What? You woke me up
Harrison: Is my wallet at your house
Me: I don't know
Harrison: Can you check?
Me: ugh fine.
Me: I don't see it
Harrison: Can you check outside?
Me: Not there
Harrison: Check under the couch
Me: IT'S NOT HERE!
Harrison: oh nvm. It was in my coat pocket. LOL

First story slam

Today was our english classes first ever story slam. In the beginning when Chase became to call names, everyone looked around as if people forgot what today was.

"Pick a number 1-30!" He shouted.

For a second I was nervous because I thought we had to prepare something but after the first person went up and read their story. It was relaxed through out the rest of the story slam and was very comfortable. Stories told from your heart dont need preparation but just memory and everything else is for show. I was eagerly waiting after the first person went to hear my name be called because now I wanted to do it. I never usually get nervous but for a second I was worried that everyone had a story prepared and it was going to be exactly five minutes and official. I noticed that everyone was in the same boat I was in which was better for me to get out of that nervous stage, like when you first try something new. but it seems like ill have to wait until next Tuesday to get another chance to say my story...

Daily Story: Feb. 16

Every summer my youth group goes down to Jenny's Creek, West Virginia to run a kid's camp for a week. I'm convinced that Jenny's Creek is like nowhere else. First off, it's incredibly beautiful. It's this valley with huge mountains everywhere you look, covered in trees. You can see the stars at night- me and my friends would lay out on the grass every night for hours, just staring at them. 

The first year I went, I couldn't believe somebody could actually live somewhere they could see that every single day of their lives. Here's a picture, to prove it. :] I wish I had a picture of the stars, but sadly enough it seems that stars are near impossible to get a picture of :/
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Jenny's Creek blew me away. But all that... nature and green stuff... is just normal down there. Also normal is living in a trailer. Everybody does. Some trailers are nicer than others, with added-on porches and whatnot but that's basically the level of poverty there. Some of the kids don't really have shoes... the rich ones have cable TV. The kids are super tough too. The stuff they have to handle every day... it's crazy. 

I remember this one time when one of the adults, Steve, was driving a van around all the little backroads to pick up some kids for the camp. He gets to the first house and stops for a 10 year old boy and his little sister. The sister's on their porch all scared and the brother's out in front of their house with this huge gun. It's practically bigger than him and he's shooting it at the ground. Then he puts the gun back in the house and the two kids run over to the van. The boy says with a grin, "Hey Steve wanna see the yellowback I just killed?"

 If you don't know what a yellowback is... its a snake. A really bad one. They told us about these snakes as a way to make sure we were so scared we'd stay out of the creek. And this ten-year-old kid just shot it dead and went off to kids camp. Another normal summer day...

Dear Diary.

*Clicks Pen*

*Thinks*

Dear Diary,

Only you know the true feelings of my heart and my mind.
Only you listen without judgment and leave me with a blank answer everytime.
You know everything about me.
So once again, I ask you.
Hear Me Out.


*Starts Writing. . . . . .*


I just need a break from everything.
I don't like this feeling, everybody trying to control my life.
I just want to live it.


I just wanna sleep, yea sleep will make everything better.


What is my purpose in life?!
Going through this active coma striving for greatness and we are all going to the same place.
You know some days, I just want everything to be over.
I keep imagining walking out on a red light, or getting stuck in between a crossfire.
I have dreams about dying.
This is not right, I shouldn't feel this way at all.
Something is wrong.
There are many days when I just want to cry all night, into the day, back into the night.


I just wanna sleep, yea sleep will make everything better.


No One understands and it just gets worst.
This is not a suicide flash or anything like that, I'm ok,
It's just really hard for me right now.

I just wanna sleep, yea sleep will make everything better.

These days are being pushed together, mushed up.
And I feel like an outsider to everything.
Watching the world past me by and I can't do but so much.

I just wanna sleep, yea sleep will make everything better.


I am confused all of the time,
The emotions inside me are definitely shooting off flares.
I am NEVER happy.
I AM NEVER CONTENT.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!


I just wanna sleep, yea sleep will make everything better.

*" Yo, Morgan, you good?"*
*crumbles paper*
*Smile, " Yea, Im good"*


From where you are.

​If you get a chance, listen to this song.

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
So far away from where you are
Standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things I never thought that they’d mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
{ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/lifehouse-lyrics/from-where-you-are-lyrics.html }
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they’d mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

Looking Up

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Looking Up


Things are looking up, oh finally.

I thought I'd never see the day when you'd smile at me.
We always pull through
when we try,
I'm always wrong but
you're never right.
you're never right.

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this.
It's not a dream anymore...
It's not a dream anymore...
It’s worth fighting for.

Could have given up so easily.
I was a few cheap shots away from the end of me.
Taken for granted,
most everything,
that I would have died for,
Just yesterday,
Just yesterday.

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this.
It's not a dream anymore...
It's not a dream anymore...
It’s worth fighting for.

God knows the world doesn’t need another band,
But what a waste it would’ve been.
I can't believe we almost hung it up.
We're just getting started.


Super Sammy Sam por: Amaris Romero

Amaris Romero
SUPER SAMMY SAM !!! :)
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