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Octavius Collins

Do I sound Familiar?

“ I had a dream like Martin Luther lil bit of hope. Say if Rosa never at, and Malcolm never spoke. Prolly catch me the woods hanging from a rope.”

“ Damn Tav who said that?

“Meek Mill.”

“You listen to him?” My friend says in a cautious voice.

“Yea, that’s my boy. (Finishes lyrics)

            Whenever I’m with my friends I tend to speak with a lot of slang. Half the time I don’t complete my words, substitute correct words for slang words and I do a lot of cussing. I speak in a way that defines myself, but I change up when necessary. I think of myself as a “slang slinger.” Sometimes I even talk to my teachers in slang. Trying to teach them something new. I know how to use proper English, & I’ve never been told I say certain things or that I have a problem with my pronunciation.

From my mother’s prospective I talk like “ an angry black teen.” To myself, in a way that identifies myself as a young black teen. My language reflects my childhood. I use words with my friend’s just express a certain feeling or meaning during the conversation. I’m not just full of profanity and slang, like I said I was taught to use proper language, I just chose when it’s appropriate and when I should use it.            

I had a job interview during my freshman year for The Franklin Institute. I manage myself well I as greeted everyone in the room with a “Hello” or “Good Evening.” Questions like:

“Why would you be a good explainer for the PACTS program? What changes could you positively bring to the PACTS program if given this job opportunity? Who do you look up to in the PACTS program and will you step up and take someone else under your wing when you’re apprentice leaves?”

I answered every question, brought up by my fellow explainers, in complete sentences. An individual from the group of explainers and supervisors pulled me to the side and went on about how impressed he was, as a peer of minds, to as how I handle myself in the interview room. He admitted that he didn’t think I had the type of language in me considering the fact that he spent 4 years of his life with me outside of supervision or adults.            

        I’ve learned when and when not to use slang and proper language as I’ve grown up. There has been a time when I was young and I’ve walked up to an older adult such as my grandmother and said

“ wassup.”

“Don’t ever talk to your grandmother like that again!”

That was similar to the response I was given from my mom. 

From the moment on slang coming out of my mouth was only used around my friends but as I got older if I was to use slang around my mom it was I who was joking, playing around. My 8^th grade year was when I learned how and when to use proper English. I had to get ready for upcoming interviews so my mom began prepping me. I learned to sit up right when I answered questions. I learned to answer questions in complete sentences, and to keep a positive mindset throughout the whole interview. The more practice I received with and from my mom I by the date of my 8^th  grade interviews I was superfluous. Walked in greeted the interviewees with firm handshakes, and continued on with conversations that started like, 

 Vivo en Roxborough, una comunidad muy bonita. No hablo con muchas personas en mi barrio, pero tengo unos amigos quienes viven en Roxborough. La mayoría de las personas quienes viven en Roxborough son blancas. No hay muchas razas, y no me gusta eso, pienso que debe haber más razas. Quiero más diversidad en mi barrio. En Roxborough hay otros lugares, y vivo en Andorra. Se llama Andorra porque es como el país, hay muchos árboles, y parques. Mi casa está casi en un bosque, y me gusta esto mucho, así lo veo que es muy bonito, para mi que todas las comunidades deben tener un bosque. No quiero que mi comunidad cambie, porque me gusta tal como es ahora. Otras personas quieren más casas, pero pienso que debe ser como el país todavía. Muchas personas en Andorra son amables. No hay muchos murales en Andorra, pero la comunidad va a ser mejor cuando los tenga.

Mi mural ubicado en 738 Grakyn Lane, en la pared de un casa. La tema mayor de mi mural es el medio ambiente, y que el medio ambiente es muy importante para el mundo, y Andorra también. El medio ambiente es muy importante para Andorra porque Andorra se llama Andorra porque el país tiene un medio ambiente el mismo de Andorra, y cuando no tenemos muchos árboles, y flores, va a ver diferente como el país Andorra. Mi mural no cuenta la historia de Andorra, porque no es una historia muy interesante. Muchos de los imágenes en mi mural son verdes, este es porque muchas flores son verdes. Verde es el color que muchas personas piensan de cuando ellos escuchan la palabra medio ambiente. El propósito de mi mural es que las personas quienes ven el mural son que el medio ambiente es muy importante. Desde mi punto de vista,  Lo más importante es el medio ambiente, porque el mundo no vas a ser el mundo sin el medio ambiente mismo.

Así lo veo, el arte público no es necesario para la comunidad, pero es muy bonito, y la comunidad es mejor con el arte publico. El grafiti es arte público, pero es un delito. El grafiti pueden ser muy bello, y es bueno para la comunidad cuando es bello, o en un lugar bueno para la comunidad, cuando no es mal para unas personas. En mi opinión, mi mural es arte publico, porque es de una pared que es no muy importa, y la comunidad pueden ver que es importante a nosotros.  Mucho de el arte público está creadas por personas quienes son muy talentosos. Mi mural es arte, porque todas las cosas, como grafiti, y también el vandalismo son arte, y el papel de el arte público es para ser bonito. Así lo veo, que mi mural es bueno, pero puedo tener más de la diversidad, porque debe ser más diverso en Andorra. También debo tener más colores en mi mural, verde es bueno y representa el medio ambiente, pero más colores son buenos.

January 10^th 2011

Espanol 3

Mt. Airy, barrio es muy diversos. Hay muchas personas diferentes. Hay mucho familias, y todos son interesantes. La familia es muy grande en mi barrio, casi todo el mundo es agradable. La gente es muy de bienvenida, es por lo general tranquilo excepto en ave de Germantown. Durante los fines de semana, la gente va al ave Germantown para la diversion. Los restaurantes y las tiendas son grandes! Mucho de mi amigos vivir cerca de mi. Hay varias familias de todas las razas y muchas relaciones diferentes. Hay muchas formas de transporte y todo muy seguro. Hay muchas maneras de involucrase en Mt. Airy. La basura recoge, andar de perro, y ser bueno persona. Casas pueden ser muy largo y muy pequeno. Hay muchas cafes y resturantes. Escogi Mt. Airy por todas razones. No tenemos rico que hacer rico. Hay muchos lugares para comer, muchos opciones para los vegetarianos. La criminalidad es muy baja en Mt Airy. Todas personas es civilizada y saben como comportarse. Todas personas premite sus animals de correas y los gatos estan en todas partes fuera. Hay parques para los animals y a los ninos en Mt. Airy. En Mt. Airy los ninos se encuentran en la escuela, y el parque, los ninos son tranquilas. No hay nada perturbacion. Muchas balnearios y yoga y relajarse lugares. En Mt. Airy hay toda tipo de persona. Gay, rectos, blanco, negro, y la lista continua. Nadie los juzga sobre nada. Esta bein que usted mismo. Hay muchos homosexuals y transexuales en me barrio. Ellos son aceptados como lo deben ser no hay una persona los discrimen porque es no justo. Mi familia es biracial y sentimos suficiente. Mis vecinos son de Iraq, y son ejemplos como alguien puede vivir aca y sentir seguro. La gente puede caminar tarde por la noche y no tiene que preocuparse. Sugeririo esta barrio para las familias, es pecialmente con los ninos pequenos. En mi mural, representado la gente y idea de mi barrio. En Mt. Airy no hay graffiti o vandalismo, hay pintura mural y mucho arte. Todo es muy bonito y comfortables. 

Los diferentes elementos en el mural mío representan muchas cosas importantes y adémas complèjo.Por ejemplo hay varios temas y algunos significan la educación,el crimen,la población y finalmente la culturas como los Dominicanos y los Puerrtoriqueños. Como lo mencióne en la oración arriba lo voy a explicar ahora también pero en una cantidad de gran profundidad. En mí perpesctivo lo mas importante en mí mural y de mí communidad es la educación.La educación  significa en mí comunidad casi todo.Los niños pobres y ricos reciben una educación en escuelas publicas pero los menos afortunados asen cosas ilegales como vender drogas para darle esta opportunidad a sus propios hijos.Los colores son brillantes y vivos pero algunos son opacos y oscuros para representar el humor, la felizidad y el sufrimiento.Hay varios temas en que quiero enseñar desde este mural pero el mas principal es como las cosas de nuestras vidas diarias es en realmente enfrentar la realidad cada día más. El mensanje que quiero comunicar es que la verdad duele por que sólo esta hecho por errores que cometemos pero en verdad al fin del día uno se da cuenta de que es todo la REALIDAD.

 Como yo lo veo, el papel del arte público es eliminar lo feroz eventos de una comunidad para de nuevo reunirse con el mensaje que esta demonstrado por esta arte con el uso de fotos y frases. Sin embargo, mí mural si hace el exito de el papel porque yo misma coji los ejemplos de los murales que vi en el paseo para relacionarlos con mi propia comunidad y estos ejemplos también fueron el comienzo de mi mural “Enfrentar Lo Qué Es La Realidad”. Claro, mí mural si es arte aunque esta localizado en un lugar público porque es algo hermoso y con sentido en vez de estar hecho inadecuadamnete ilegal como las marcas. Mí opinión de mí mural es sorprendida, yo no sabía de lo qué era possible con mucha información histórica de lo qué en realmente es la arte. Despues, me di cuenta que si es totalmente posible formar una obra maestra muy especial y uniqa. Finalmente, estaba muy alegre en las etapas que coji cuando comense y termine esta obra maestra. 

The purpose of this project was to reveal the connection between language and identity. In our unit we talked about how language is used in various ways with different people such as family, friends, and strangers. We connected the concept to our personal lives. In my paper i discussed how language has effected how I see people. Things like accents and pronunciation of words. I also talked about other concepts like code-switching, changing how you talk while around different people. Code-switching is my most commonly used language concept. 

I never really thought about the way I spoke. I always just assumed that I sounded normal, nothing out of the ordinary, and definitely not too far off from everybody else. My friends in grade school never mentioned anything about my way of speaking, and neither did my family. Everything went on as usual, until I began going to Summer Camp. People that went there were from all over the place. Everyone talked a bit differently. As we were all introducing ourselves one boy asked where I was from

“Oh, I’m from Philadelphia.” I said, assuming he was just wondering which region I was from.

“Really? I didn’t think people from there had any accents.”

“…What?” I thought it was odd, I didn’t have an accent. “I don’t have an accent.” I defended myself, but he wasn’t trying to insult me, so he just laughed,

“Yeah, you do. It’s cute.” Of course, I just thanked him, but it lead me to think about other things. I began noticing the way other’s talked more, and the way I talked. I now heard and recognized which words I may be pronouncing differently, I don’t know why I did it; it was just how I’d always talked. Throughout my time there, people had kept on mentioning it, I’d gotten used to it and just responded with a simple ‘I don’t actually know why I have an accent. I guess I just do.’

            As time went on, I began to notice it more, I noticed when I did it and what it sounded like. I realized I had an accent when I got angry or upset, and I realized when I tried to hide it. Accents, and just language in general can have a big affect on a person and those surrounding them. The way I speak and present myself entirely depends on who I’m with and where I am. When I’m with my family, I’m loud and less cautious of how I sound, but more cautious of what I say, and what terms I use. Around my friends, I’m more cautious of keeping my accent reigned in and less about what I say.  I think the cause of this is, while I can still be myself around my friends, I know I don’t have to impress my family, or try to gain their approval with anything. This lead me to realize the fact that my persona when I’m alone and my persona in public are so different. When I’m alone, or with close friends, I tend to be louder and less reserved. I tend to share my opinions more because I know that they will more or less not judge me on it. When I’m in public, or in a place where my opinions and what I say may be disregarded or I may be judged on what I say, I definitely take more time to think about what I have to say and make sure I sound smart when I say it.

 Now, sounding ‘smart’ to me meant enunciating my words, regardless of the accent, and making sure I know exactly what I’m saying before I say it. In society, a generally accepted idea is that having a voice gives you power. Speaking out and making yourself heard and having your opinions recognized are all things that gives you power. But I think something that isn’t often recognized is that a voice can also take away a lot of the power that you have. If someone deems the way that you speak to be ‘wrong’ it makes you insecure about the way you speak. I have been told that the way I pronounce some words are wrong, which ultimately leads to me trying to change the way I speak, or just not speak at all. I don’t want to be told that something I’ve been doing all my life is all of a sudden wrong and that I should change it, it knocks down my confidence and takes away any power that I had before.

There are many key roles in the way that we speak, one of them being the company we keep, and one of the others being our history. We don’t necessarily have to be from a certain place to pick up an accent, or a saying, or other ways of speaking from that region. My grandparents are Italian, and although even my grandmother doesn’t fully speak Italian, there are some words and phrases that she uses. From being around them so much, I’ve picked up some ways of speaking from her, such as the way I use an accent when pronouncing Italian foods. When we were kids, my grandma would pinch me and my sister’s faces and say

“Look at the faccia” ‘faccia’ being the Italian word for face. Throughout time, I began picking it up and found myself saying the same thing with my little cousins, that along with ‘bambino’ the word for ‘baby.’

            Although I’ve picked these things up and using them has become sort of involuntary, I’ve had to stop saying them in the company of people who don’t exactly know my background. People have asked me if I spoke Italian, which I don’t, and when I tell them that, they accuse me of faking it. This reminds me of a the writing “ If Black English, Isn’t a language, Then Tell Me, What Is?” In this story, they're arguing whether something is or isn't a language. They say that some people take speaking "black english" as just being wrong. But I don't think there is one right or wrong way to speak, and nobody has the right to take anybody else's speech away.

            I have seen this problem with many people, not just myself. The way that they speak is criticized to the point that they have to change everything about it. Something that once gave them power, is now a burden.             

Kyler Jones                                

 I’m drafting an essay for english class when my teacher comes over and gives it a read. It’s supposed to be about my feelings about language and how it relates to me and society. But I end up writting a 2000 word manifesto about society, capitalism, imperialism, and the english language. And what language is and how it changes the World and defines cultures.

“ This is too much, this is a manifesto” says Ms. Pamohov.

 I was honestly surprised at myself, I knew that I went too far, but I didn’t expect it to go so far out of the topic. How did I turn an autobiography into a complete historical dissection of society?

Read anything by me one can’t not hear the terms “civilization” “patriarchy” “society”“objectification” “imperialism”“slavery” “myth” “Economics” “religion” “science” “hypersimplification”“Leftism” “capitalism” “poverty” “conquest”“rape” “nature”“zombies” “disease” “cosmetic”  “superficial” “hierarchy” “indigenous” “lies” “land” and “industrial”.

My language is how I perceive the world, and how I see through the chains and insanity of our society. Everything I see, I attempt or sometimes involuntarily see how it relates to the centralized purposes of distant powers. It all started as soon as I entered highschool. I just started to question everything and see the truth.

When my teacher said language the first thing I could think about was how different types of languages actually alter perceptions of reality, I thought about the Nords taking over Britain and giving the English language swear words, and I just couldn’t help thinking cultural white-washing, and the stupidity of relationships built on pretence.

Now I think about how seriously far attached I am from my peers, and the majority of this society. Most people don’t even truly understand what “civilization” or “science” is. They don’t give a damn about “nature” or “overshoot”. I often get laughter and smirks whenever I read things I journal in history class. I’m not sure if it’s either jealousy, malaise, or misunderstanding. Am I really that alien?

That’s why I rarely talk outside of class, no one to talk to, nothing to talk about to them that won’t leave me saying something that sparks controversy and arguments. Rarely can I go about daily activities without comments or the input of other people, guess it just makes them uncomfortable that they can be wrong and I can be right.

I can’t help to see the reality of traditions fully based on cloth. It would be pointless for me to waste my time trying to censor and numb my thoughts because of what is passively accepted and upheld in the mainstream.

My pier’s vocabulary only ranges from “Homework!”, to “Hipster”, to “OMG!”.  They may talk of every flavor of Snoop Dogg blasts, but they would never talk about how many salmon are sacrificed in the manufacturing of those disgusting beverages, like me.

 They’ll talk about how awesome it is to get baked, I talk about how sad it is that marijuana is the only plant people think is worth saving. They say “iphone 4”, I say technology is not neutral. They say Obama to sound political, but I’ll talk about how he is just another capitalist warhead.

  I’m not sure of whatever power that entitles me, or If I honestly gain anything from accept constant depression when I look humans.

“It goes without saying, then, that language is also a political instrument, means, and proof of power. It is the vivid and crucial key to identify: It reveals the private identity, and connects one with, or divorces one from, the larger, public, or communal identity” In this quote from James Baldwin’s “ If Black English, Isn’t a language, Then Tell Me, What Is?”, I definitely don’t agree the “Black English” is language, but just a variant of English, and I don’t think that language is the crucial key to identity- it is agreeable that language is most definitely a political instrument for me, separating me from public and or common thought and opinion.

I worry about language not on a basis such as what judgments people are going to try to make about me, being that I’m black, or how I was raised, or if I’m a know-it-all. As a political instrument I want to utilize it to the best of my abilities so it can be understood by anyone regardless of how well they know the English language, and I want my words to communicate every passionate rage, every fact, and reality to inspire the cynic and nihilist into actions. To cure the hedonists from his/her naïve ways, and to devastate the perpetually blissful. If I intend to.

“Sup.” I said.

“Tired.” my friend replied with a yawn.

“What Class we got first.” I asked.

“Spanish.” he replied.

“We mine as well get up dere now.” I said.

“Mine as well its already 8 o’clock.”

This is an example of my normal dialogue when I just get into the school building and greet my friends. I talk like this because it is a relaxing and much way easier to speak. Also, its something I have become accustomed to because this is how most of my peers and I communicate on a daily basis. Mostly because to us its such a easy and leisurely   way of speaking to one another. Though we are educated enough to realize that this is not the grammatically correct way of communication in qworking field or  profession. This is why during situations in school or the workplace I code switch. I switch my dialogue so the listener will pay attention to the information I am trying to tell.

For example, if I was to have a interview for a job I would not go in the employers office saying “Wats up I’m here for dat job interview jawn.”. Instead I would walk into the office and say “Hello I am Robert Jenkins I’m here for my job interview.”. As you can see this is a huge difference between the way I greeted my friend  at the beginning of a school day, and how I speak to people of higher authority. The reasons for making this change is so that the employer does not look at me as something that I am  not or to fit in with the kind of workers already with the establishment. For example I could be one of the best people for the job just as James Baldwin said in If Black English Isn’t A Language, Then Tell me What Is?  “To open your mouth is to put your business in the streets” and this could cause people to have the wrong opinion of me. They could believe I am a poorly educated young man and is not truly serious about this job or my future. Even though this is completely untrue I could not blame the employer for coming up with that assumption because what else would that kind of speech apply. This the kind of Code Switch that I have to make for many different occasion through out life.

Another reason I might code switch  is because I am uncomfortable with the people who are surrounding. Most of the time I use this kind of switch when I am going to new school, Church, or any other place that I am unfamiliar with. I remember the time I was in a similar situation when I was shadowing at SLA.

 “Wassup”  “Hi” I replied, “You ready for the day.”, “Yes I guess.” I replied. My Conversations with my Student Tour Guide went on like this for most of the day until I got use to the school a little and him. Once I was able to develop this relaxed relationship with my surroundings I was able to switch back to my usual sense of dialect.

A time where I mistakenly for got to code switch was when I was talking to my mom about the cost about of some Watch The Throne Concert Tickets. “How much are for good tickets.”, I said. “The Best Price and Seats I could find was 200.” “Are you serious!” I replied. “Very.” “Damn it” I said. Completely forgetting that I was having this conversation with my mom and not one of my friends in school, but luckily she really catch what I said so I was able to get out of it with ease. This is a situation where using the wrong dialogue could of got extremely ugly.

I change my way of speaking for many different occasion but they each are similar in the reasoning behide it. I do each change to try to either fit or to not be judge by others. I do not  do it in the sense of being fake to new people and make them believe that I’m not because I truly am ok with my own personality, but the comfort of not being judged is always a plus. But Code-Switching is not something that I just personally have to do but everyone in the world might have to change their dialogue at some point in time.

My Grandma’s opinion

 “BESTFRIEND <3.!”

“Hay <3.”

“Wcd.?”

“Nuthn, HW bord listenin to music. hbu?”

“Same, hmewrk listenin to music. I aint see yu all day. Wht happened to us chilln aftr skool.?”

“O, ma badd I had 2 go hme. My ma got mad @ me for smethn dumb.”

“Well, yu need 2 stp makn her madd, u always doin tht.”

I’m in my room lying on my bed, messaging my best friend Jermel on iChat. The conversation goes on and on. Simple texts talk with a friend in my eyes but in my Grandmother’s eyes it is childish teen talk. She does not get the point of it and does not understand it. She looks down on people who talk and or write improperly. She thinks of them as lazy beings because they abbreviate their words or chose not to say them fully. What also grind her gears extremely is when people use extra punctuations, no punctuations at all, and the incorrect punctuations in their sentences.  

“Hello baby.”

“Hay gmom, hw was ur day.?”

“What Yanna, what is hw? And I wish you spell your words correctly you smart you don’t have to talk like that sweetie.”

“Sry gmom.! I mean Sorry Grandma.”

She thinks that if you text or talk like that to your friends and others, then you will not go anywhere in life. Also, that if you talk and write that way daily then it will become a habit, and you will not be able to change that. “Childish teen talk” drives her crazy, she despises the fact that it is made and used by young people. She thinks that people who use slang, or who does not know how to speak properly when they are capable to speak or write correctly are hoodlums, up to no good, and they have no priorities in life.

This reminds me of the story "A Women Warrior" by Maxine Hong Kingston when she says, “I like the Negro students (Blacks Ghosts) best because they laughed the loudest and talked to me as if I were a daring talker too.” I interpret this, as the character in this story likes the black students most because they are loud and talk a lot. Which is a stereotype for most African Americans. This is related to my grandmother’s situation because they both make judgments on a person because of the way they present themselves.

Their opinions could be, and are proven to be false. Someone might have been raised that way and may not know another way to behave or how to say a certain word, as they should. You could be the greatest person in the world with a perfect behavior and have the worse grammar and spelling. Their theories both tie back to the quote you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover; it’s the inside that counts. 

            “Are you from New York?”

            “No. I was born here in Philly. Why would I be from New York?”

“It sounds like you have a New York accent.”

            “No, I don’t. How could I have a New York accent?”

            “You just do.”

            This happened in school. Here in SLA. A few of my friends and I were playing games on our computers, typical. Then he says that. I would have never expected someone to say that I’m not from Philly just because of my accent. I was thinking this question after I left the conversation, “How would he know what a New York accent sounded?” On my latest trip to New York, I was thinking this. I couldn’t dilate any voice to see if it sounded like mine. I also found out that New Yorkers were pretty damn arrogant.

            So, let’s get back on topic. Now I think this is a huge regret I feel and maybe my Dad as well. If only I could fluent Spanish like my Dad, but unfortunately, I can’t. It was probably my Dad’s and my greatest mistake in life. He wanted his son to speak Spanish like him, and I wanted to speak to him in perfectly, fluent Spanish like Dad, yet I cannot say a phrase in Spanish with confidence. I want to say what I’ve learned in Spanish class, but I’m always worried I may say the wrong thing. I am thinking right now how some people say I’m Italian. If only I could speak Spanish, prove them wrong. They would be scratching their heads, saying, “What did you just say?” I would say, “I just said ‘I am not Italian. I’m Puerto Rican’ in ‘Español’ or Spanish to you guys.” I just wish I could be a bilingual, speaking English and Spanish, but I think it’s too late to be that.

Here’s something I can think about my dialect. Does my dialect intersect with my identity? Yes and No. Now I said yes because there are times when people question my dialect. There are questions or comments like the example I have on the top of the first page, or there can ask…

“Why does your accent sound like that?”

“You sound stupid!”

“Well, I was born with accent like this, and I am damn mighty proud of it.” No, I don’t say that line, but that’s what I think about. Now it gets a little sentimental. When I was going through a bit of depression through one of my summer break, (7^th grade I believe), I thought the bad things that was said to me through my current 8 years at my old school, and I would think I sounded stupid. The way I spoke, probably made some of my “classmates” lose respect for me (that is if they had any respect in the first place.) I said no because since that “New York” accent questioning, I have not been made fun of my accent or commented on my accent for a while. I can’t remember the last thing that someone said to me about my accent in a negative way. Probably 7^th was the last time I heard something about my accent. In 8^th, it was about personality, but that’s different story.

            Now this maybe interesting. When my current 10^th grade teacher taught us about a relationship between language and power, I thought there was no relationship at all, but once we got into the discussion, I had second thoughts. Yeah, that was kind of obvious. Any whom, there was a good point when you would have a president who would speak formally than informally. For example, if Barack Obama spoke like, “Yo, what’s up, my fellow Americans,” than, “Good evening, my fellow Americans,” you would have thought twice to elect him as president in the first place. The thing is… having a slang could mean power, just not a chance for presidency. It could mean it on the streets. Gangs and clubs would be on the street with slang, and they show their power with that kind of tone. Politically speaking, you must speak formally (and learn to keep their promises); they can be president people look up to. Kind to think of it, what would happen if we did have a slangy president, but he still did good job while in office?

            Now I must admit, I think I may have a different public persona than an internal persona. Why do I think this? Well, I tend to have stage fright, a bit of it any way. When I want to speak up, I feel the words come into my head, but once I try to get the words out, they just dissolve from my mind and I cannot explain the situation, even though I had the words to explain it. Those who read this probably know what I feel. My internal persona is something else. This would kind of relate to an essay I read in English just before I typed all this into this log. The essay was by Richard Rodriguez, and the essay was called, “Hunger of Memory.” A quote from the essay, “In public, my father and mother spoke a hesitant, accented, not always grammatical English…” That’s what I meant. When Richard’s parents spoke in public, they would be a little hesitant. That’s how I feel. You try to say it, but you stammer and sputter like a car that ran out of gas, and then you don’t make a noise after all that, and you are thinking