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*plunges toilet* I can’t believe I am cleaning this damn toilet again. I come in here day in and day out, and tell myself I am going to quit this god forsaken job. But who am I kidding, I know I need the money and don’t have too many options here. Why can’t people just have the decency to do this crap at home, it would make my life a lot easier and I’m sure be a lot more comfortable for them. Now on to the urinals which believe it or not are worse to clean, you would understand if you knew what it is like to clean poop from a urinal. I’m not dealing with this right now, I’ll let Randy do it when he clocks in I don’t got time for this. *exits bathroom*

Now I have to clean the rest of the mess in the damn restaurant. *Grabs broom* Look at all these french fries on the ground, it’s like a whole order of them. *Sweeps* They actually don’t look half bad *eats one* mmm, it’s delicious. *Whispers* Oh crap. Hey boss I was just uh cleaning up here. What I didn’t eat those french fries off the ground, what do I look like eating fries off the floor. What are you talking about? I what? Wait a min.. Okay look I know that I am not the best worker at this McDonalds but you can’t fire me I really need this job. But I do actually work around here. I’ll admit I… But I’m not making excuses. Okay I will get all of my stuff and never come back then.

Who ever needed a stupid job like that one anyway huh? All they make you do is miserable, degrading work just to make freaking minimum wage, it’s totally not worth it. Fine I will show the world that I am better than that sorry excuse for a job, and that I could make it perfectly fine without them. Well at least if you look on the bright side, I won’t need to almost kill myself everyday after work. I also now have experience with a job that I really don’t like, so I know moving forward what to look for in a job so I don’t make the same mistake twice. So I guess it wasn’t a total lose after all. Now it’s time to go make my ex-manager's’ job living hell as a customer.

Sara and Raechel were best friends since 2nd grade. They had just came back from seeing Straight Outta Compton. When Raechel and Sara had went through an alleyway Raechel came out on the other side leaving Sara bleeding out on the freezing dirty ground. Our main character is Laura who is Sara’s older sister. (You are Laura in your writing)I am a rookie detective who has a nice family and a rich husband. (Laura is speaking)I was talking to my brother Tommy since I was scared that Sara hasn’t called or texted in 3 weeks. “Where in the world could Sara be. I miss her” I said. When I was walking down an alleyway I had noticed had saw a hand hanging from a dumpster so I wanted to see if it was real or not so I opened up the dumpster and she had saw Sara there laying with a stab wound right in her heart. I had screamed in terror and then she called the cops for help. My husband Oliver had showed up at the crime scene and then he said “what happened why did you call and then talk really fast.” I could not even face Oliver as he saw the paramedics carrying Sara’s body on the stretcher. “We have to tell our kids later about what happened to Sara”. Oliver told Laura “ I- I didn’t want to leave them in the house alone when you called they are in the car right now”. As we turned around we had saw that our kids. Slade and Roy saw their aunt laying down on a stretcher with a blood stain on her heart they just looked at their parents and they family had grieved together. Two days later it was Sara’s funereal, I had looked around to see who was present and who wasn’t. Everybody was there except the reserved seat in the front row. Laura had remembered that she had specifically reserved that seat or Sara’s best friend Raechel. After the funeral I had asked Oliver and their kids if they saw Raechel they all had said no. Laura had went to an abandoned club and went to the basement finding her hidden cave. I was actually a vigilante who helps people and does not kill. She has a white costume and fights with two nightsticks. Her vigilante name is White Canary, she travels the night to find out who had killed her sister. One night she had saw thugs robbing a liquor store near Sara’s death site. White Canary tries to fight all of the thugs by herself and leave one standing to interrogate him. She is getting pummeled by the thugs, When she looks up she sees a masked hooded figure in the night. He beats up all of the thugs and then interrogates one of them and he says that he saw a red headed woman about 25yrs old, and also a knife in her right hand. White Canary stands up and says “ Who are you why are you investigating the exact murder i’m investigating. “I am investigating a death of my wife’s sister’s death”. Shocked Laura had said “Oliver is that you”? Soon after their reunion they both had put together all of they had found out about Sara’s death. Both of the leads they had lead into dead ins.They chose to have Tommy take the kids to Spain to keep them out of trouble. Tommy, Slade, and Roy checked into a hotel called Nanda Parbat. Laura had called over to Tommy and the kids to check on them. Oliver kept trying to figure out why Raechel hadn’t answer her phone or e-mails. Slade and Roy were watching tv when they heard glass shattering in Tommy’s room; they rushed into his room when they had saw Sara repeatedly stabbing Tommy in the heart. As the teenagers watched in fear as their uncle died of blood loss, Sara was looking strange when she was walking closer and closer to the boys White Canary came through the window and knocked Sarah out cold. “Mom”, the boys yelled as they gave her a hug. As Oliver was coming up the stairs he saw his best friend dead on the bed.

(Phone Rings, picks up the phone) Hey, Ashley! Yeah I know (pause) did you see her trying to sit at our table like she was one of us?! (pause) Right, like that is sooo unacceptable. (pause) She was what! She is not taking Jaden to prom, he's my ex and he still likes me so he´s obviously gonna ask me. (pause) What kind of girl asks a boy to prom anyway! (pause) Right! She's such a loser. Anyways I was hoping Jaden would have a grey suit because I just got this pink dress and it has hints of grey in it and it would be soo cute with a grey suit. No, Ashley, he def is going to ask me, just like how Jake´s gonna ask you. Don't be scared, it's going to happen, who else does he have? (pause) Exactly… Yeah so… (gets cut off) Oh okay, yeah imma show my mom my dress too, see if she likes it.

(Looks out bedroom door and screams) Mom! Dad! Ha, like they would answer. (Mocks mother) Yes, Amber that dress is so pretty. (Acts like father) Oh no that dress is too short for you to be wearing. (Turns back into herself) I don't know what I was thinking. Seventeen years of my life and only talked to my parents for about ten of those. Ha. (Holds dress in front of her as if she was looking at herself in the mirror), Hey, mom don't you think this would look cute. (pretends to be mom) Yes darling, you are gorgeous. (back to herself) Hey dad, you know Jaden´s gonna take me out to prom. (mocks dad) He better get you home by twelve. (disappointed look, stomps hard like tired) Maybe i'm just hoping one day they’ll finally answer back. Sike… (small giggle) Maybe I just keep forgetting my irrelevance to existence. (sarcastic voice) For some reason I keep thinking i'm somebody special. But it’s so crazy; in school, EVERYBODY knows my name. Most popular in my whole school. (does a little snobby pose of herself in the mirror) but when I get home it’s like I’m completely invisible. (looks sad and goes to sit down on her bed)

Fourth grade,(pause) mom I got an A on my science test! (biggest smile slowly fades from her face) Oh, after you finish your phonecall? Okay... Fifth Grade,(pause) Dad this dumb teacher.. (cuts herself off and pretends to be her father type on the laptop) NOT NOW AMBER! (goes back to herself) Oh okay. (plays around with her fingers as she slowly walks back to sit on the bed). (Big sigh as she plumps onto the bed) And lets not forget how you used that same line six grade through the rest of my current life. You know, I get it now. I understand you not wanting a daughter and the pain of having me anyway. I understand I am not what you wanted. One joyful night turned into your biggest mistake. I know.

Everyone at school always says, “Amber has the cool parents” or “ Amber gets whatever she wants from her parents.” But I don’t! I want their attention. I want their acceptance. I want to be that child they don’t regret. I just wanna be something they care about. (starts crying into her hands) (knock knock on the door) (she looks up at the door) Mom?

(Kneels on floor) What's this I feel? A sharp pain in my neck, flashbacks of mine (foosh). My mind sounds something like that. My friend that I hold dear, clinging onto my body, holding me like prey on his bed. His name is Nick. I'm trying to move back, but I can't. I am stopped by his forceful arms and thirst for my blood. The fangs in my neck are so pleasurable and painful at the same time. But it all hurts. Not just my neck, but the pain in my brain is arising. I see a light, that keeps flashing, as my memories are flowing by. My memory is coming back, people who I cannot recall until now; my parents.

I'm Mei, and no, I am not a vampire, simply human, but I am very difficult to understand. I remember nothing from my past. The only person in my life was Nick, the vampire, and that's all I can recall. I sought him for answers, and for years he refused. I want answers, now that I am 18 years old, I think I can handle it.  Except I wanted to talk about it, not become someone's meal. Why now, in our home, did he give into the temptation, to bite me. I wish he told me instead, but I don't want him to let go, because, this is the only way I can look into my past, without lies. (sighs)

I see my parent standing, at the edge of a cliff. Answers answers, I need the answers! “Mommy, Daddy, where are you going.” I hear groans and moans, from the people who I seem to reach my hand out to. Long fangs comes down from their face and.. “ow OW!” the friend that I love, is clenching my neck even harder. Knowing that I am about to witness something painful (grabs neck)

The past begins to lead me to, wearing something sticky red. Blood, its blood. My white nightgown is stained in dread of red. The taste and texture do not tempt me, it's gross. (closes eyes and shakes head) I want it to go away. But my parents seem to enjoy it. As I reach out my hand, I notice the long teeth, and the major blood stains on their clothing. “WATCH OUT” says Nick in my memory. But why is Nick here. I hear the sound of gunfire, and I drop to the floor. I sat up, but my parents never did. (puts hands on face)

(sits down in chair) He took my parents away, without giving them a chance to redeem themselves. Lights, I am seeing more lights! MY head, oh my head...it spinning and it wont stop. Nick's fangs hurt, but these memories are killing me more. (stands up quickly and clenches hair)

My brain is playing like a record player. The Nick in my memories raises and protects me. I feel hurt, because, how can the person who killed my parents, raise me without showing any shame. He lied for so long. Experiencing both good and bad memories at the same time is difficult. I don't want to see them, good nor bad, they still traumatize me. I am afraid to lose the people I love again. Nick, my parents, the fear , the pain, the love and the blood. They all won't stop spinning around me.

His teeth are so painful and pleasurable I am losing consciousness. My mind is nonstop. Now that the bad things are over, I see him, only him. Caring and loving me. Before my mind stops playing like a cassette tape, I feel the tears that I have kept in for so long, run down my face. And I hug ?”
7ike a want something to come back.)

This feels like a dream. It's harder and harder to register all of this. Even though I know Nick is still at my neck, he will eventually let go. He will leave me, just like the rest everybody else in my life. Lights lights, flashing bright lights! I'm falling….Somebody please catch me! (pauses, and puts hood over head) Nick catching me, is the last thing I remember. He erased...my memories. (sits down from 3 seconds with eyes closed, then opens eyes)

Yeah, the needle hurts a bit. You’ll get used to it. Don’t worry about it, it’s your first time. Here, let me do it for you. Bite down on the belt, okay? Sweet. You got it. Alright, close your eyes. And, there. You’re done. Does it feel like you’re flying? That’s what it felt like for me. Yeah, don’t worry about it. Just relax. Flow with it.

I barely remember my first time. It was pretty great, though. I was fucking soaring. Just riding the moment, you know? You just hit the switch and every day’s a good day. Everything’s beautiful.

Well, define ‘problem.’ Everyone’s addicted to something. That’s my motto. Take a stockbroker: take away their money and they’ll withdraw, just like a priest if you take his faith. Everyone has something that they can’t live without. All we have to do is make sure we don’t run out of it.

You’ll learn to love it, though. I know it hurts the first time, but you’ll get over it. Some people even get addicted to the sting. Can you imagine? I wonder if they can get their fill just by sticking themselves with a needle. That would be much easier, huh? Yeah, just lie down, I’ll be there in a second. Do you remember when we were fifteen, and none of this had happened yet? When the worst thing we’d done was a little weed and some cigarettes? We used to get drunk together, and it meant the world. Man, that was a long, long time ago, huh? I felt so old.

Do you ever feel like the world is so far away? Like, time is just a thing, or something like that. You ever feel so quiet, so gone that everything just moves around you, and you’re frozen? Stuck to the moment? Can you hear me? Wow, you’re gone. Have a nice trip! *chuckles* Gimme a second… I’ll be there soon.

Maybe One IS Enough. . .

Mom! I’m back! School was great today, and I really liked it! I got an A on my quiz today, I’m student of the month, and there’s a report card conference tomorrow. Huh? Oh no! You don’t have to go! I told them that you wouldn’t have any available times already, since. Y’know. You’re such a hard worker. *Laughs* Don’t feel bad! It’s not your fault. I’d love for you to be there so we could go talk to my teachers about my grades, and so they could tell you that I’m awesome. Yeah! And afterwards, you could drive me to GameStop, and tell me “not to go over 60 again, like the last time!” Then after that, we could go home and put a frame around my report card and put it on top of the fireplace, y’know? You could be proud of me and feel so ecstatic because I’m your son! 一

*Turns around* Hmm? Oh, yeah, I know. Visiting hours are over at 8. I heard you when I walked in. Don’t worry. I’m finishing up here anyway.

*Turns back* Y’know, we haven’t done anything together in a while. It’s been a really long time since. I mean, I’m 15 now. I’m not all laid back in a diaper, smearing my poop all over the walls and drooling on my stuffed animals while I sleep now. I’m past that. We’ve moved on! At least *pauses* At least, you have.

HEY! Do you want to go on another drive together when you’re back? No no, there won’t be another crash this time! *Laughs* I mean, there’s not gonna be another drunken asshole that will hit us and make your head smash against the windshield, am I right? I mean, can you imagine if that we’re to happen again? That CAN’T happen again, right!? That would just be SO unlucky of us! I mean maybe the drunk bastard would die this time? I mean, it would make the world a better place without people like HIM! *Pauses*  Oh. I-I’m sorry. I’m going off again, Ranting. Maybe we can *pause* skip the drive. Yeah. Save that for another time.

Did I tell you about dad? It’s gotten pretty quiet without him around. Where is he, you ask? I don’t know! All I remember is seeing him sleeping on the couch, so I brought him a blanket and tucked him im. After that? I took all the empty beer cases and used syringes out to the backyard. Just like he told me to. What!? You think he left? No! He wouldn’t do THAT! I’m his son! I mean, I’m his son! He wouldn’t leave me all alone. I mean, sure he has 5 others with 3 other women! He’s still human! He doesn’t think of me as a nuisance, right? I’m the best! He’s told me that multiple times! Oh shush! He wasn’t talking about the beer!

*Turns Around* Hmm? Yes, I said I heard you already! Hospitals can’t fucking close. Just give me a second!

*Turns back and breathes* It’s all becoming more and more worse now. Please mom, I need you here. I don’t want to face this alone. You weren’t supposed to do that! We both would’ve been hurt if you didn’t try and save me,  We both would’ve been fine. Honest! I don’t want to keep fighting this alone. Now that dad’s gone, everything is shit without someone with me. You have to come back. You have to!

Ending off my freshman year without someone here will be devastating. I don’t know if this is how every teenager feels at some point, but I want to die right now! Call it puberty or me beginning to understand the world, but it sucks! And I don’t want to be here without you, or SOMEONE for that matter, beside me. And you’re my only option.

*Turns Around* SHUT UP! I’M NOT DONE! GO AWAY! What if it were you? Hmm? No no! Go on! Answer me! *Pauses* Five more minutes my ass, just get the hell out!

*Turns Back in silence* I’ve become a shell. Everything that used to fill me up is gone. And now? What do I have to show for it? A bunch of empty beer cans and a bag full of used needles? What am I gonna do with that? They’re empty, just like me! How does that help me? How is that gonna fill me up? Every time, I would step on a needle while walking down the stairs. As it pierced my foot, I hoped that nothing got into my bloodstream to make me feel like the asshole that left me two years ago to fend for myself without any worry or compassion whatsoever! And you know what? I would fear that more that I would fear death itself! He’s nothing! He’s worthless! I refuse to call him my dad! All he is going to be known as is the insensitive addict that doesn’t know how to take care of a family without making mistakes, and doesn’t know his own definition of life! Instead? He lets the advertisements, bartenders, and drug dealers do that for him! He can’t make the right choices for himself. He has to make me clean up his trail because he wants to believe that he’s been walking down a path that’s clean and drug-free, rather than one that already determined his fate from the very beginning.  One that is filled with problems and no real way to solve them.

Mom, you have to listen to me. You have to try and stand up. Okay? I want to wake up tomorrow and see your precious face and radiant smile greet me with a “good morning”  from now on. We all don’t have this kind of chance. We can start over! As much as I hate to say it, we can get dad back and help him with his little “problem.” We can track down the person who did this to you and we can even help them too! We don’t have to suffer anymore if you just come back!

“this always happens, everytime i get a new rider something horrible happens to them they always get into accidents.I was really starting to like this owner, I was starting to think that he would actually stay this time. he was really nice and he took good care of me,he got my oil changed I never had less than a half tank and I was always kept squeaky clean and shiny. I never stayed with my owner for more than a year, and then we got into an accident and then i went to another owner. it did not always happen that way though sometimes I was gifted away, sometimes I was bought off of people and I remember that one time I was stolen from my owner. That time was crazy because after that I got a new skin put on so I wouldn't be recognized as the stolen bike, this really weird for a while cause I was not used to it but after a while I started to like it but then we got into an accident and my skin got scratched and they had to peel it off and I was back to normal.

after that I went to a dealership because my owner went to jail for getting into an accident and hitting someone, while on me, that was also a really sad moment for me because I felt partially responsible for the person's injuries. After that I remember going to a different owner he was about 19 years old in college and he was trying to impress girls with “his new shiny motorcycle”. our time together did not last long because he actually did not know how to ride a motorcycle, so him and a girl got into an accident he was trying to merge on the highway and braked to fast and the car behind us rammed into my back and sent all of us flying. although i got a bit banged up they both went flying and they had to go to the hospital. while he was there his parents took me to an used car dealership and they sold me. I Stayed there for a while collecting dust in the back with the other cars and bikes that everyone at the dealership. gave up hope of selling. then one day a strange man walked in and he asked if they had any bikes for sale, he looked kind of weird standing there in his late teenage years asking for a motorcycle. He was wearing khaki skinny pants a tight t-shirt and a pair of running shoes. They brought him over to my area with all the other bikes, at first he didn't see me but eventually he came over and he said this is the one and he asked the person helping how much and i was and the man asked how much he had and the boy said about 3500 and the man automatically took him up on the great offer, I was actually quite flattered given the fact I was not worth that much in my current state. After we left the dealership he immediately took me to an auto shop. On the front it read “jim’s auto” and we both went in and he stood me up strait and started taking me apart cleaning me up and putting my pieces back together and fixing my dents. I heard one of the other mechanics in there calling him a “ greaser” so that is what I started calling him. as soon as he was done cleaning I was all shiny and he filled up my tank and we went out on the highway at first I got scared that we would crash so I did not get clingy but at first we did not crash for days then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and by then we were good together and I thought this is the time that we are not gonna crash. Then it happened we were just going out for a cruise in the neighborhood and a drunk driver was speeding down the street and blindsided us and he flew 50 feet and I went under the car. I heard him hit the concrete, he fractured his pelvis and broke his back and got paralyzed from the waist down and as for me I went under the car and this was finally it for me I got crushed my engine got ran over, my handlebars got bent in two different ways and my rear got torn from my front. and that brings me to now I am laying in the junkyard waiting to be melted and turned into something new. But until then I am still the same piece of scrap metal that I started out as.

Ugh, I can’t believe I have to work with him again. Why does this always happen to me?

I just walked into my class and the teacher was making everyone change their seats. I was fine where I was sitting and all of a sudden, we change seats. Now I’m working with him, the person no one wants to work with because every project someone has done with him, ended up with him doing nothing and the other person doing everything.

(to the chair next to him/her) Okay, so we’re doing the Renaissance as our topic for this project and you’re going to find pictures about the Renaissance. I’ll give you the links where you can get the pictures from. So really, you don’t have to do anything.

Wow, I can’t believe he took my offer.

So, that’s everything you will be doing. After you finish with that, you can be done and leave me alone.

I’m making him feel useless, aren’t I. Listening to myself, I sound bossy and controlling. Why am I always trying to control situations? Am I making everyone feel useless?

I don’t really mean to, sometimes I can’t control it. Sometimes what I’m thinking just bursts out of me and I end up hurting the people around me. The hardest part about this is trying to apologize, trying to take back all of the hurtful things you said, with no intention to hurt anyone.

I know that bossing people around isn’t really who I am, it is just how people see me. I guess that I’ve always been bossy because I was always being bossed around by everyone that I knew. Maybe now I want to boss people around and see how they like it, make them see what it was like for me and make them feel the way I did when I was being bossed around. That’s not right; I don’t want people to see me as someone who is just bossy and controlling, even though I don’t want them to see the real me either.

Just control yourself right now, Ash, so that you don’t hurt anyone. Stay calm and just focus on your own work and maybe let him find the pictures on his own. If he needs your help he will ask, so just focus on your half of the project right now. (breathes in and out deeply)

I was trying to focus on my work, but I couldn’t stop looking at what he was doing every 5 seconds. I knew that something was going to burst out of my mouth, asking him what he was doing, but I was trying to control myself.

Hey, what are you working on? Oh, you’re still finding pictures? Ugh, sorry I didn’t mean it that way.

I can’t believe I just said that to him. Here comes the hard part; trying to apologize to him, but I don’t know what I should say to him. This time try to be yourself, be nice and you’ll figure out what to say.

This scene takes place in the bathroom in a mirror

While the scene is taking place the actress will be doing her hair, brushing her teeth, make up etc. to get the feel of her getting ready for school.

(Yelling) Yes mom I’m up

I am so up

I don’t have an attitude I just.. Ok whatever. (rolls eyes)

I’m so sick of this shit, I can’t wait to go to college (says under breath)

(Repeats loudly) I said I can’t wait to go to school and get this knowledge

Everyday is the same thing. Wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to sleep.

Ugh I really don't want to go to school today. I hate it there. All you see in school is a bunch of fake bitches you don't like, teachers who think you don't have a life outside of school, couples who think the hallway is a bedroom and a bunch of work that you won’t do until the night before. I wish I was sick. (feels face) Please someone give me the flu or chickenpox or something that lets me stay in bed all day today.

(Yelling) Mom (cough,cough) I’m sick

I am so sick

I am not full of shit, I’m sick I really am

Ok mom ok whatever (Mocks mom with hand)

Why doesn’t she understand that school is hell. I have to sit for 7 hours and watch a bunch of kids act like they are going to do something with their lives after high school is over. They talk about their big plans to go to Paris and China when the closest they will get to there is google maps. I mean don’t get me wrong some of them are perfectly capable of actually make their dreams a reality, but only the ones who actually care about their future. But I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the kids who buy 300 dollar shoes and get a 30 on a test. The kids who forget that school is for education and not just to meet people to have sex with.They will be the ones who end up being the neighborhood drug dealers, hoes, addicts, golddiggers and people who still live in their mom’s house at 35.”

Huh?

You're leaving?

Oh ok see you after school

She’ll never understand what it’s like for me at school.She is getting paid to be miserable my misery is 100 percent free. Getting talked about all the time for no reason. Teacher’s failing me because they’re “stressed” and need something to take the stress out on. Weird looks in the hallway, all of it it’s just exhausting. I just wish I could find any reason not to go to school today. A snowstorm, a sudden fire anything that would prohibit me from going. I just need a day, one day where I’m not stressed the fuck out from test or projects. One day where I don’t have to be around a bunch of people. One day where I can sit in my damn house in my pj’s eating Chinese food and watching movies. Put no I have to go to school. Honestly school is helping me do nothing. I’m just their everyday wasting time being taught things I’ll never use. I want to be a dancer and ya know that’s what I need to learn about if that’s what I want to do. So I really don’t understand how y= mx+b will help me do shit. School is so pointless. They teach us a bunch of crap that is useless in the real world. Now what they need to be teaching is how to pay taxes cause that shit is confusing.

(Brushing teeth and talking) I mean I would like to learn something useful for once.

(Spitting out toothpaste) Ya know I could always drop out. Be a drug dealer or a stripper maybe. That’s where the real money is. Naw I couldn’t do that I’m not slick enough to sell drugs and I’m not thick enough to be a stripper. (Laughing) ”

My mom would kill me if I did either of those.

(Mocking mom is annoying voice)  You have to stay in school and get an education and go to college and do this and that and blah blah blah.

(Pauses for a moment for a realization) I guess really we go to school for our parents. If it was up to kids we would drop out really. We bring home our grades that makes them happy or sad, either way they expect more. Seeing their child succeed brings them joy. They’re basically living through us. So in a way school isn’t really for kids. I mean I guess we benefit from it in the long run but really it’s for our mom’s and dad’s to see us become better people.

(Pause) Hmmm I never really thought of it that way. Well I guess school is kinda important. It’s our parents way of holding onto us as kids. (Checks phone) Wow it’s 7:45 in the morning and I already discovered the secret to life. (Chuckles)

(Face changes from laughing to frightened) 7:45 fuck I’m going to be late.

(Grabs phone and book bag) Great just great I’m going to be late to school on a Mon..

(Pauses after staring at phone) Saturday. I’m going to school on a Saturday… wow

(Facial expression is annoyed) ( Lights dim, Scene over)

“ 17 years I been doing this...17 long years. Having four kids, spending everyday at home picking up Lego's, organizing lunches, cleaning rooms, cooking, being the cool mom, the devoted mom. Perfect wife. Making sure his clothes were laid out in the morning, having his breakfast on the table before 7, dinner hot on the table when he got home, minding my business by not asking questions. Letting him be the man. I did all these things for Mark and our family...my family just to get a text three weeks ago saying...oh Caroline I think we should get a divorce. Just like that. I knew he was seeing that little hoe at his job Amanda who was barely able to buy a drink or smoke a cigarette, but I didn’t think he would throw the family away. I thought if I just kept doing what a good mother and wife should do that everything would be okay.

It wasn’t too long ago that I seen him cuddling that bitch at that cozy little bar “Cush” on 52nd South street. I was on my way to pick up dinner for the kids when I glanced over and saw them through the eerily romantic glass windows. Shock, Panic, and anger all ran through my mind, but at the same time I knew I couldn’t leave my life. Being the somewhat strong woman I once thought I was I just turned a blind eye thinking he would eventually get his fill of her and come back home. Now I guess not. What did I expect tho, I mean all men want the cutest, hottest, blondest piece on the market to take home and show off to their friends. My father did...Mark did it. Guess I should have known. What middle aged stud executive wants a good wife and mother by their side. They want the new, the wrinkless, the dumb who can’t pee for themselves without asking for assistance. Me...I’m not going down like that. He can have his little fling, but I’ll get my laugh to.

You see, I’ve done way too much in these 17 years to be flushed out of a life, sulking in tissues in some no name town trying to figure out what I was or who I was before I achieved my so called american dream. I need something to give me joy, give me happiness. Mark wants a new life...but I..want to take it away. I want to make him suffer, make him scream, make him wither away for being the coward he is. Maybe I’ll write a book called how to kill your husband, and say it’s realistic fiction. Killing might be extreme, but who cares. A deep part of me wants to take his life, but at the same time his life belongs to my children as well. Despite our lives Mark has always been a good father to them, they love him. At one point he used to be good to me, he used to love me.

Well, tomorrow’s picture day for your freshman year of high school. The choice for ensemble seems almost as if there’s really no competition for-um...what are you doing. Ha, I think there’s a mistake…That? You’re choosing that? Over me? But it doesn’t even go with what you’re wearing, and besides, that’s not even your favorite!

I guess I should’ve taken you not wearing me in the past five months as a warning that you wouldn’t have use for me anymore. But why? We had three amazing years together. It seems like yesterday when you first saw me hanging right there on the clearance rack. I was the perfect match for you, just the right blend of chic and casual but still quirky with a great splash of vintage.  When I caught your eye, it was like a match made in thrift-store heaven...well, your mom didn’t think so since I reminded her of the top she wore to her senior breakfast in 1987, but we were able to convince her to buy me. The first 15 times you wore me, you got compliments every time, and not even just from old people! When people asked where you got me, you would proudly explain that I was a one-of-a-kind vintage original and that they’d be lucky if they even find it from an eBay seller. In only a few short weeks I was promoted from just a mere occasional conversation starter to being worn almost everyday, sometimes without trips to the washer & dryer.

Remember when you won your first spelling bee, or got an 100 on that test? I was right there! I mean...I wouldn’t consider myself lucky or anything, but you can’t ignore coincidence. Besides, who else had your back (literally) when those bullies were talking badly about your fashion choices? Oh don’t go flaunting off that cheap department store top in the mirror like it’s a 30+ year old 100% silk designer authentic. It doesn’t flatter your skintone in the slightest. Teal? Never a good choice for photos, especially with khakis. Oh, a scarf? That doesn’t make that disaster of an outfit better one bit. Wait...you’re putting it back in the closet. Oh, okay...maybe you’ll make a good choice this time. [isn’t chosen] A sweater? You’re wearing a sweater? You might as well wear a beanie and an eyebrow piercing! How dare you even think that a flimsy sweater will suffice as a decent garment for one of the biggest days of your high school career? Don’t tell me...you’re actually reaching for a beanie aren’t you.

Okay, what is going on here? You treat me like your favorite outfit one day and then the next you decide that you’re too good for me? You used to be this girl who didn’t care what people thought of her, who was just shamelessly unspoken and proud to stand out. I remember when you bought me, you just had to have me to wear with those amazing sapphire blue bell bottoms that were stunningly authentic and every bit antique. For three years I was the literal garb of your personality; bright and unique but still subtle and light. There was no special event that you went to without me as a plus one and I was your go-to for birthday parties. So what exactly happened? Did you...outgrow me?

(Main character is scruffy and sitting down behind what appears to be a city background / backdrop that is dimly lit)

(Softly while jingling a cup) Spare any change? Change. Please Ma’am, anything you could spare?

(Sighs and puts down cup) How did this become my life? Sitting on the streets and begging for scraps.

I remember when I was a baseball player. Man, I even had the best swing of my league.

(Looks remorsefully at his still calloused palms) Still have proof too. The callous never really faded.

I could've been a national player if not for people’s ridiculous opinions.

When my teammates found out, they were uncomfortable around me. Before I knew it, I was shunned. The guys would turn away from me in the locker room, some even refused to change with me there. They treated me as if I was an alien based on my preference.

I never asked to be like this. Were they uncomfortable with my sexual status or just me? What did I ever do wrong?

I was harassed for things I had no control over. (Mockingly) “I guess he bats for the other team. Ironic he picked this sport.”

I finally acknowledged my sexuality, but I guess not everyone could. I was looked down on, thought of as ‘weird’ or ‘disgusting.’ I was viewed as different, incomprehensible, some people just couldn’t understand and so I had to become a victim.

What makes me the most upset is that I tried really hard. I wanted a career in athletics, it was what I loved doing. I practiced to points of exhaustion sometimes to make sure I was fully connecting with the ball, that my stamina was good, or just catching exercises. I could’ve been so good, successful even. If only I was the modern society’s view of ‘normal.’

I was kicked out. Fired. Terminated. My coach gave me the spiel of how my personal life got in the way of my fellow team members’ productivity and how the teamwork shifted to a place that wasn’t up to par with the competition. How I was responsible, how it was my fault.

I understand that some people won’t just magically accept me for who I am. I’m not asking people to embrace the fact that I’m attracted to the same sex. I’m just asking for people to see beyond who I am attracted to. Who I love doesn’t affect my morals, my personality, or my foundations as a person. I am human!

Baseball ended there. I tried to transfer, but no one would take me. But, I realized, this could be good. I could make a clean slate, be who I am. Unfortunately, finances didn’t allow me this privilege. Money eventually ran short and I’m no good at other jobs. I tried moving a couple times and long story short, rent is a lot of money. Life is hard, and I do miss the past ‘normal’ me, but I would never want to go back.

(Reaches out and picks up cup again) After all, I rather be myself with nothing, than be a fraud with everything.

(Holds out cup) Spare any change? Change. Please Ma’am, anything you could spare?

I won’t let you love me, you can’t, you don’t even know me. I know me pretty well and I fucking hate myself. I don’t have the capacity to love someone, ok I sound like a robot, but you get it. You know that thing where people say you can’t love someone until you love yourself? That’s me with you. I know you say I deserve to be happy, you deserve to be happy too. I can’t let you waste your time on someone who doesn’t find a deeper meaning in a word. This is better for you and me. We’ve never met and I can’t love someone I’ve never met. Your baggage is my baggage and mine is yours. I don’t want you to have to deal with mine.

Belle shuts her laptop

That four letter word means nothing. I don’t understand how words can mean so much to people especially such a simple saying. I get that words like onomatopoeia or auspicious or idiosyncratic could have meaning because they’re so big. But love, l-o-v-e. According to Merriam Webster; To love: is to feel sexual or romantic love for (someone). But the top definition for love on Urban Dictionary is nature's way of tricking people into reproducing. That’s funny because it’s kind of true. Love is all chemical. And because of that, it’s too fucking complex. I don’t even think I have the capacity to love.

Opens laptop

Sorry I needed a breather. You’re perfect, you really are. You deserve someone that can provide far more for you than I can. You don’t even know my last name. All you know is Bellebeauty94. No, My last name is not beauty. It’s not like I don’t want to be with you. That isn’t the case at all. I’ve been trying for so long and so hard to bring myself to say that I love you.

Shuts laptop

I made a tumblr when I was like 13 and now I’m about to graduate high school. I don’t remember a time without the internet. Physical contact isn’t even necessary anymore. And I can’t really tell if that terrifies me or amazes me.

I guess if love is only a word…

It won’t kill me to tell me I love him. Fake it till you make it right? I can’t help how he feels.

Opens laptop

Hey. I love you.

Monologue: 

Why did you do this to me? What have I ever done to you? All I have done is help you! All I have done is try my best to bring this family together ever since mum left. I was the one who had looked for a job and tried my best to pay for the bills. You thought I didn’t notice that you sneaked money out of the safe for alcohol? How could you even do this to me? To yourself? All the work I have done to achieve that money and you were just throwing it out.

You're were using up our savings that we need. You can’t do this anymore. I won’t allow you to Dad. I’m eighteen and If I wanted to I could leave. I don’t have to stay here and watch us drown ourselves in debt. I don’t know why this whole time I decided to stay. I shouldn’t be sacrificing my time from school work to do work. I want to go to college, but I guess I won’t be doing that any time soon. If I do leave right now, we will fall even more apart and I’m sure that none of us want that.

The moment I walked into the house I knew something was wrong. I felt the tension in the atmosphere. You stalked towards me like I was your prey. It then got to the point where the alcohol was getting into your head and you were not thinking clearly. You saw red. You saw mum in me. Is that why you grabbed my arms, thinking it was her? You held me tightly and hugged me and whispered into my ear asking why she left, why would she break apart us apart, why she did this to us...

Then suddenly out of thin air, something must have gotten into your head. You violently started shaking me. Then unwrapped your arms from around me and shoved me, and I abruptly hit the wall, and I banged my head against it, causing a searing pain in my head. Then I felt something hit my cheek. I felt the blood rushing to my face. You slapped me, Dad. I was too stunned to move. How could you do that to your own daughter? Your own flesh and blood. I should’ve known you would do this even before you laid a hand on me. You were out of your mind! Then you started shouting. You started accusing me saying how I ruined everything, that I was behind the reason why we were in the position we were in now. How if she didn’t leave for another man that we wouldn't be in this position. How she broke your heart. Dad, you thought I was mum. You really thought that low of me?

I composed myself and then suddenly something clicked in me. I was fed up with what you were saying. It had already been six months since she left and we needed to get past that. We were stronger than this.

(Picks up the phone and calls her boyfriend)

Hey babe … Yeah I’m fine, I just had to talk to you about something. Umm I don’t know if you’ll be mad but just don’t hang up on me…. So…  I took a pregnacy test and it came back positive. Yeah, I’m so serious I would never lie about something like that…. Don’t yell at me! You were the one who decided to crawl in my bed, it takes 2. No I haven’t told my mom yet, you’re the first person I told. A abortion is not an option! We are going to take care of this child, this is something we decided to do and we have to own up to it…. I’m 2 months already and I’m so scared. I should have never done it with you, you told me it would all be okay, you said I wouldn’t get pregnant! It’s all your fault and now you see what happened? …. No! don’t tell me to calm down do you know how much trouble I am going to get in... I know I didn’t have to do it with you but it happened and now we can’t take this back!.. No I’m not telling my mom first, you tell yours… I’m scared to, it’s okay just promise not to leave me all alone. I didn’t hear you say you promise … 

Hello? HELLO? You still there ? Oh okay, good! Now tell me you promise! …. promise that you’re not going to leave me alone with OUR responsibility… Why can’t you make this promise to me?... Are you serious !? If I LOVE you, I wouldn’t make you take care of this baby? If you LOVED me so much to get in my bed you’re going to LOVE this baby and take care of it! … I told you that wasn’t an option! This child deserves a beautiful life… I know, we are young, dumb and we aren’t ready but it’s time for us to grow up and get ready… Trust me, I can’t believe this either but life goes on and stuff happens, we all make silly mistakes… I know this is not a “silly” mistake! I don’t know how to describe it, I’m just trying to look at the positive side! I just need us to stay together and take care of our child.... WHAT!?! Did I hear you correctly, you said you’re breaking up with me!? What do you mean !? … No !! you can’t do this to me , you can’t !! .. Don’t go… This is your baby to !! 

Wait! Please! Don’t hang up we still have to talk about this ! Hello? HELLO? ( puts the phone down and cries hysterically)

(lying on a hospital bed) I am not a man. I am not a monster. I don’t know what I am. I think I’m alive. If you can call this thing I have a life.  

And the worst part is: I chose this.

If a well known hospital tells you (mocking, goofy voice)“hey, do you wanna be immortal?” there’s really only one answer. This was when I was 55 and that…that marked the end of my life. They took me here. Hooked me up to these computers. And then…the beeping started(beeping starts). That incessant (progressively louder)“beep beep beep beep Beep Beep Beep Beep BEep BEep BEEP BEEP” IT DRIVES ME INSANE.

It was pretty ok at first. They sort of left me alone. Gave me food when I needed it. Not really when I asked, but that was ok. It was peaceful, and I liked that. Then when I was around 90, maybe 100, they started to show themselves more. The eyes(doctor walks on stage). Groups of them(another doctor walks on stage). They would just stare. They would sometimes move their mouths but I couldn’t hear them. I didn’t think they want me to. I mean I don’t expect them to. I don’t think they like me.

This is about all I can do to pass this time. Think about this place. It’s all I can remember. I barely know what time is anymore. When you’ve been around this long, (chuckle), you really stop caring about each day. I have been alive for 216 years and it has felt like just another 55.

(doctor walks close)The…end? Ha HA! FINALLY! I have waited lifetimes for this moment! I barely felt alive in the first place, and now, I can finally be FREE from this curse! This curse of life! It can finally…end…Do I even want it to end? I mean, I certainly am not enjoying THIS “life,” but would nothing be better? At least now I can think. I am constantly in pain, but at least I can feel something. I guess I never really thought about that before. Is living in an endless cycle of torture better than not living at all?

I need to find out. I can not die. (in the direction of the doctors)They SAID I would be immortal. (directly to the doctors)Let me BE IMMORTAL. I have nothing but myself! I need myself! I can’t afford to have this end. Maybe all this time by myself has made me like myself more than other people or something. I don’t know! I just need more time!

(Boy + girl walks in, girl speaks.) I have a best friend, Billy. We became close ever since I moved to California from New York. Our parents knew each other, so we were practically meant to be and have each other’s backs. I moved when I was about 5 turning 6. We went to the same school ever since. Everyone knows us as Billy & Miranda, the lowkey lovers. I didn’t really like that because I never saw him more than a best friend, but then one day it hit me...

It was summer of our junior year when I realized the look in his eyes. Every time he looks at me, it’s different. (Looks at her, pointing at a direction and then walking there.) We’ve been friends since forever, his parents are pretty close with mines, so we basically grew up together. But it wasn’t till summer I realized all the jokes our friends were making. That look in his eyes when he talks to me, it’s just different. His eyes grew bigger, prettier, I try not to make eye contact when I’m with him, so I just laugh at what he says and look away. Growing up, I know that he’ll always be there for me, to protect me, to beat up the people who bothered me, he’s like my guardian angel. (White light shines on the guy.) I didn’t realize is that he’ll become someone I’d admire the most.

(Walks around the stage to sit at the bench.) I don’t know what will happen if we do go out. I mean it wouldn’t surprise people, but what if it doesn’t work out? What if at the end we won’t say a word to each other? Who’s going to be there when I need a friend, who’s going to be there when I need help? (Looks at each other and smiles, the sun sets from the screen in the back.) My friend, my dearest friend, you’ve been there for me through the ups and the downs, through thick and thin; but what if we get sick of each other, what if you decided that we should’ve just stayed close friends? I can’t afford to lose someone like you.

(Guy turns to the girl, and smiles.) (Girl looks back at him, smiling.) There you go again, with those eyes and that smile. (bits lip and gets a little flirty happy, then quickly gets serious) Wait no, please do not do anything stupid. I wasn’t sure about my feelings, the way you would look at me with those eyes. Again, I just smiled and looked away. It was getting chilly as the night approaches. (Girl folds her arm, the guy saw and gave her his jacket.) Wait, no, don’t be like this,(She shook her head, pushing the jacket back to him.) I know you’re cold too (guy puts jacket around her) (girl just smiles.) Thank you. (Both actors get up and walks over to beginning position.) (Lights turned off.)

This slide I created describes me in three ways, my love of video games, my love of cars, and my cancer experience. The car, a Maserati gran turismo, represents my passion for cars. I have loved cars since I was a little kid, and I still do now, and it has influenced many things in my life. For example, I have hundreds of hotwheels cars in our basement, and more in my room. The text “MooseMan” represents my love of video games, because that is what my name is online when I play these games. This has influenced me a lot because I have gotten very skilled at these games, and been recognized by a professional at these game. TheSlapTrain is a guy who makes youtube videos for a living, and makes a top 10 clips sent in by viewers show every week. I have gotten on 7 times now, and this influences me because this is what I spend almost all of my free time doing. Finally I added the zodiac symbol for cancer to represent my cancer experience as a child. I had leukemia from when I was 3 to when I was 6, and it influenced me because at the time, it was half and half if I would live. That is how this slide describes me.

picture of car from:

http://hdimagelib.com/car+image+white+background

cancer symbol:

http://www.compatible-astrology.com/zodiac-symbol.html

They said “bye Ozzie!” and I tried to go with them, but they shut the door in my face. (pause) That’s how it usually goes, they leave and I’m left alone here like most every single day. I spent the first 10 minutes trying to open the door and go after them but because of my body disfiguration (looks at hands and sighs), I couldn’t unlock the door. I cried and whined as I can’t speak and waited in hope that they would come back for me, but to no avail. Sitting in front of the door I pondered why they would want to leave me alone as they said to me every day when I was young that they loved me.

Knowing that I was destined to be alone for the rest of the day, I then played with my favorite stuffed animal, whom they called “Winky”. “Winky” I had picked out at the consignment shop when I was less than a year old .The name originates from the fact “Winky” only came with one eye. I didn’t care as over the years “Winky” has given me the comfort I couldn’t get from anyone else. Calming down with one of my favorite friends, I asked Winky what I should do for the rest of the day. Nobody else can hear Winky, but he said that I should eat as eating always calms me down.

I went to the food they had left out for me and solemnly ate it. However, I was concentrating too much on how bored I was going to be that I ate my food all at once not even leaving a single crumb for me to eat later. (gets exasperated) I washed down my guilt with a nice few gulps of water and proceeded to go into my own room. My own room is very small, much more so than what the others have. I walked into and sat on the one piece of furniture I had, my bed. There I looked at all the stuffed animals I had beside me and wondered why I couldn’t have real live friends. The others had friends who came over very often always making a ruckus and playing with me as if I were a toy. Why can’t they understand that I am living like everyone else! (Gets emotional sadly and frustrated)

Whenever they take me outside, people look at me as if I am some sort of alien. Everyone wants to touch me and they always act as if I am a baby and speak to me in that super annoying, “sweety” (puppy dog voice)voice.(end sad and frustrated) Reflecting on it I get so upset but in the moment like many other things, I don’t mind because I forget my troubles. I love being outside, getting attention, and most of all, seeing my friends. They take me every other day around 3:30 pm to the park, so they call it. There I usually see my mentor Boris who has been on this planet beyond his years and everyday I listen to his teachings of life. I also meet Yuma, Chester, and Monet whom are my best play buddies and best friends. (gets happy and excited) Everyday we play tag and see who is the best in our boxing games and I admit I usually come out the loser. However, there are usually two others who really make me so very happy. She comes every day so I hear, with her other, Stephanie. When I have seen her, my heart melts into a pool of desire swirling around with hope and a twinge of despair as she only hangs out with her friends and the jocks. (becomes sad and pensive)

(end pensiveness) But enough talk about my daydreaming, I must tell you what else happened so far. After my longing to see the outside, I decided to have fun. I brought Winky with me to the big bedroom the largest others slept in. I flung Winky onto the bed and got onto the bed after him. Relaxing, we talked about how I found him and then we jumped on the bed together, pretending it was a trampoline. In our great fun I accidentally knocked over those big fluffy things they call pillows, but I didn’t bother to put them back. Then Winky made the great suggestion of getting more to eat. I was famished so we both went to where they stored my food. The others stacked it so high I became despondent until Winky told me where the others stored their food.

Then became what Winky and I will call The Great Fridge Raid Escapade. I latched onto the big slippery handle with my teeth creating some scratches and pulled with all my might to open the huge metal wall guarding what they hoard for themselves. I eventually succeeded and jumped up into the fridge grabbing my favorite snack,Carrots. I ripped the bag open and ate them all as fast I could leaving bits of plastic on the floor and creating a mess. I decided to try some more exotic foods such as a leafy thing titled Kale, note to self NEVER EAT AGAIN, Chocolate sauce and peanut butter. I think I still have a tummy ache still from the food I ate.

For my slide, I decided to make my visual theme black and white with a textured background. The use of empty space as well as the rule of thirds are apparent in this representation of myself. I didn’t choose to add contrast because I didn’t want to disrupt the color scheme, and decided it didn’t really need it. I made my name black to be stark in front of the white background so people’s eyes would be drawn to it.

The point of my slide being black and white was because those are colors that I really enjoy. Also, the black represents everything I bottle up inside, and the white is the smiling face people see. I’ve held inside for years the stress of people stepping on me, being homeless, my parents going through divorce, many losses in my family, etc. Of course you can’t see all of that through an artistic background and a couple music notes, but that’s what it means to me.

Also, the ¾ of the slide that’s white doesn’t just have one meaning. This is where the music notes come into play. I use music to heal myself. I sing, song-write, dance, choreograph, etc. Those things help me turn any problems that I encounter into something that I love to do. If I’m not making music, I’m being an introvert and listening to it.

When I get older and establish my musical career, I want to help others through my music or make music people can relate to. From there I would want to either create a charity of my own or donate to many different charities. This is why the black line that continues out on the white side of the slide is more calm as opposed to the chaotic white, grey, and black that are on the middle of the line that divides the white and black.