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She makes my heart dougie. 
Always. 
No matter what happens. 

It's Saturday which means I had to be at work from 3pm-10pm. I should have at least slept until 10am at the latest, but no! I had to get up in the morning at 7:30am so I could do something for school. Ummm...excuse me I could of sworn spring break started at 3:05 pm Friday, April 15, 2011 so I should not be dealing with school; especially the next day. Sigh I'm sure sleep will enter my life soon enough.

While cleaning this morning I tweeted out a song I was listening to. A while ago I got a email saying I had a new follower. Turns out it was the band I talked about :D

Many people dislike rain. I love it. It rained all day today; I had off of work. I didn't spend too much time outside. I had some tea. All is well. 

Remember that post I wrote about wanting to get away from myself. Well here I am. I'm out of my mind, but now I'm looking at me externally. Don't try to understand me, you'll get frustrated. I barely understand myself.

I just want my dog back. I was so pissed off today at God. It poured down raining on my fucking dog. He's buried in the backyard and it just started pouring. Usually Kirk would be in the yard, doing something. Finding a new way out or digging up an old fried chicken bone.. and my mom would yell at one of us "BRING KIRK IN! IT'S POURING OUT THERE!", then one of us would run to go get Kirk and he would run in super excited, drenched. then he'd shake it off and get all of us wet, we'd get a towel dry him off and tell him to go home, he'd stare at us like we were crazy and we would know exactly what he wanted... a cookie. We'd give him some type of food and he'd take it and run to my brothers room into his dog house.

That was routine. And now it's gone. There's no point in going int he backyard anymore. Kirk's gone. It's still unreal. I WANT MY FUCKING DOG BACK. I love you Doobie, world's #1 dog. 

I keep telling my cat that he won't be able to sleep in his shoebox if he continues to eat it but he probably won't change his behaviour because he's a cat and he doesn't understand English.

True story.

Planted a tree today and really glad I had off from work today. I'm home snuggling up in the couch with my mom and our roommate. We're watching movies. I love doing this kind of stuff on a rainy day. I'm so happy right now.

So I woke up today at 9:05 am and preceded to drag myself out of my nice, comfy bed to go plant a tree...

I put on some shitty clothes and got a ride from my dad down to the Kendrick Recreation Center.  I waited around for a while until the coordinator, Jill, showed up with her crew.

I volunteered for about an hour and basically helped move the trees to their locations and dig giant holes in the tree pits.  I planted one bare root tree and then left.  It took me about an hour.

It was freezing outside and I was exhausted, but now I feel kind of good about myself.  I did something positive for my neighborhood and now every time I walk by that tree, I'll remember that I helped make that tree's life possible.

This is my 5 photo story from the region of Oceania about the great barrier reef.

Song Credit: Lykke Li - Possibility

So my podcast is about how  Interfaith marriages have become a huge part of the world today. Not to many people can tell when a Interfaith marriage happens and people usually think its unusual, but it really isnt. 

I got bored in Economics and threw this together. 

For this quarter I tried to adapt to drawing things that i'm not used to. I like drawing things that seem abstract since almost all my drawings look cartoon-ish. The drawing of my hand was one that didn't come out cartoon-ish, it looked pretty realistic, or at close as it can be.  I found a few of these difficult since i'm not use to drawing form real life.

I choose two painting by Bob Kessel to copy. He draws cartoons but not in the typical way. Most of what her paints/draws are copies or are inspired by other artists. For both mine and Kessel's for the Marvel character's the left side is a neutral face and the right is their angry face.

Original Tokyo Girl by Utamaro

Tokyo Girl By Bob Kessel

My copy of Tokyo Girl

Captain America and Ironman by Marvel
With two of the other avengers

Bob Kessel's Interpretation

My version
(I only painted the top two)

My clear bottle, large

Full Figure

My hand

So yea, I'm leaving to go to  Shippensburg today, One, I'm mentally and physically exhasuted. Two, I really didn't want my brother or my dad or my sister to come because they always find away to make everything about them. I don't blame my little sister she's 3 so thats someone I can tolerate. But my dad and my brother, the last time I went up to ship, just for the tour, they complained the whole time, they this, they that, they need food they need something to drink. THEY WERE SITTIN IN ONE SPOT! They said they were tired, like ocme on why are you tired you  guys weren't the one walking around the campus. ughhh.

Characters: 

Waan - Mother who becomes a prostitute for a “better” life. About 17 years old. 

Dao - Waan’s daughter. About 5 years old. 

Jake - Typical 19 year old American kid just out of high school. 

Chailai - Woman 25 years old. Realizing she has nothing/no one to work for.

*All characters are on stage. Light shines on one person at a time. Extra people who aren’t speaking are like extra props.*

ACT 1 Scene 1

WAAN

(Waan looking through old family pictures and thinking of everything in her hotel room alone. thinking to herself.)

So I'm not even 18 and I've gone through hell. I never really had the ability to live the life of a child. I had to take care of my family ever since I could remember and I even started a family of my own already. Crazy, huh? Well that's just how it is. I can't be free and live my own life. So sure there are plenty of teen mothers out in the world. What makes me so special? Like every other teen mother out there, I needed to find a job. I started out finding any other job that was suitable for our area - being a day laborer. I made 100 baht a day. Seems like a lot, doesn't it? It's really only $3. That's the only I have considering I live in the countryside.

One day, my friend who moved to the city came back to visit and told everyone how well she was doing in the city. People started rumors because she sends 10,000 baht home to her family every month. That's $300 - not a typical wage for a waitress. Of course, she denied everything everyone accused her of. She tried to convince me to return to the city with her since the pay was so good and it'd be good for my daughter.

(Flashback: Waan is talking to her best female friend.)

“Want me to go to Bangkok with you? Yeaahhh, I'm not sure about that. I don't think “waitressing” is suitable for me considering I’m a mother and all... Air quotes? Nah, it’s nothing. Just letting you know I know you don’t waitress. It’s obvious... Oh so you’re not a hooker? That’s highly doubtful... I know I’m your friend, but come on, you don’t make that kind of money walking around giving people food. It’s just not likely... Fine, want to prove it to me? I’ll go then.”

I left my daughter with her father. I wish I didn’t have to, but I had no choice. This is already hard enough as it is. I have to leave my daughter with my ex-husband and his new wife. Of all people. I’ll try my best to get her back when I get the money.

(Lights fade out and onto Dao)

...........................................................................................................

ACT 1 Scene 2

(Dao playing in the dining room playing with her toys talking to a visitor.)

Mommy is never here for me. I know she’s out there trying to create a better future for me, but I doubt it’s in the right way. I need my mother’s presence here. I can’t stand another day with my father and his wife. I mean, I love him and all, but this is too much. His wife already hates my guts just because I resemble my mother.

(begins to get crayons and paper to draw a society full of men.)

What’s up with women, they either love you so much that they end up leaving to get “a better life” or they hate you so much they’re only here because they have no other choice. I can’t stand women. Yeah, she’s doing it for me, but I don’t ask for much. She can actually go to school and get a better job because I’m living in hell anyways. So what difference would it make if she tried to go out and get a better career? I’m mad that she’s only thinking about herself. Just because it’s ‘easier’ to be a sex worker does NOT make her a better mother.  

(Lights fade out back onto Waan standing next to Chailai or close to her.)

...........................................................................................................

Act 1 Scene 3

(Waan is walking down the street watching as other women are being picked up by men for ‘services’ and sees Chailai in a distance just waiting around.)

..this is not what I expected it to be at all. All these men - mainly tourists think that we enjoy this misery. It’s just good pay to us. But they are total perverts. Give them an offer where there’s more affordable sex compared to every other place and they’re all over it. This is against my religion to have sex before marriage or for married people to sleep with anyone except for their significant other. I’ve gone far from my religion. I’ve broken the biggest rule out there. I’m a home wrecker. How would I feel in their shoes? Well I’ve done so much damage already as it is. It’s not like me continuing would change anything. Wives shouldn’t blame me. Blame their husbands, blame themselves for not being able to satisfy their husbands to the point they go out paying for what they can get from their wife. That was mean - but honestly, women need to keep a hold on their men. I know that women have absolutely no power here, but we need to do something. I’ve already screwed my life over by becoming a sex worker and leaving my daughter, but I can help warn other women that they should never leave a good thing behind to find what they believe might be better. That’s what’s wrong with people, they are never satisfied with their happiness. All we do is find something better and half of the time, it backfires.

(Sees a little boy through a window across the street coloring.)

I need to find a way back to my daughter’s warm hugs who was always there to wipe my tears away. Her little innocence is refreshing. I’m going to find the next train to her and spend all the time I have with her until she’s all grown up. But know one thing, I’m not ever going to allow her to make the same mistake I did. I’m going to let her know that if you have something good, don’t seek something better. Be happy with what she has.

(goes off to buy a train ticket back home.)

(Lights fade out and onto Jake who is standing next to a random girl.)

...........................................................................................................

ACT 1 Scene 4

(Jake is roaming the streets of Bangkok checking the women out because the only reason he’s there is to find a girl to have fun with.)

HEYO! What’s up?... Do you offer the (clears throat) “services?” Mhmm, we both know you do... Wait what?! You’re not a you-know-what?

(Starts fixing his shirt and gets closer to the girl.)

Hey sweetheart, I’m not a cop. I know everything about this business. Come on, not every guy out there will be hot enough for you be able to actually enjoy this job of yours. Now, I’m not the hottest guy in the bunch, but I sure can hit it. Oh, how old am I? I’m 18. You know, just passing in after high school.. My buddies and I decided to hit up this fantasy land for a little bang bang, know what I mean? We heard wonders about this place. Every hot chick in this place is a prostitute and the sex sure is cheaper here than everywhere else. Wait - if you’re all hot, why aren’t you guys married or with someone?.... oh yeah, you did say that you weren’t in the business. Are you sure? Because I thought you were just making sure I wasn’t a cop... Whoops, my bad. Well now I know you’re not a hoe, wanna go out to dinner some time? Why not?.... It was an honest mistake. Don’t other guys mistake you for a street walker? Well see, you should be used to it by now. I mean, dressed the way you are who wouldn’t come to that conclusion?

(He gets smacked) 

Daaaamn, I’m sorry hun, just letting you know how it is. If you didn’t want the wrong attention, be a bit classier.

(Girl walks away.)

Oh you’re just gonna walk away now, huh? Awww, don’t be like that. WAIT!... you didn’t gimme your number.

(Jake tries to follow behind the girl and light goes onto Chailai)

...........................................................................................................

ACT 1 Scene 5

(Chailai speaks in ‘broken English’ at the corner, feeling overwhelmed with her life she doesn’t think she can handle it. She’s lost it and is muttering to herself.)

I don’t like being called bad things all over Bangkok. All the mean people just say “She is a hoe” and they throw stuff at me. I not smart like other people because my family can’t do nothing for me. I want to be like everybody who do this for the family, but I have nobody to take care of except for my grandma who is sick. I have no husband, no kids, no brothers, no sisters, no anybody. What if my grandma die? She is so old. What am I going to do? No body there for me. Nobody wants to love me because they say I am stupid. All they want is my body. They run around and say “Oh hey there sexy lady” I feel happy they like me. But only to sleep. They don’t care if I die tomorrow or right now. They only want to sleep in the bed with me. I am a nobody. I have nobody. You know what? I don’t care anymore. I am 25 year old. Soon no body want to sleep with me either. I am too old to go sleep with everybody and be the sexy woman. All the man want is the little girl that 15 year old. So nasty.

(Lights go off and Chailai is in her hotel room full of suitcases and is in front of the mirror.)

...........................................................................................................

ACT 1 Scene 6

(Chailai is looking at herself in the mirror and getting ready.)

This is so new to me! I finally have first boyfriend. Not the one where the guy want to pay me to be with him. The one where he want to spend time with me. This is a new beginning for me. I can go to school and try to learn to speak the English language and get a real job. How someone like me meet a guy like this? All I need to do is don’t go stand and wait for the guy anymore. I find respect for me, then someone find respect too. This guy so nice too. He promise something and he pull through with it. It’s not like the guy I work for who promise a better future. This guy let me move in with him in beautiful house. It’s not whore house where he do that to a lot of people. I’m the only woman in the house. He make me feel like I am the angel, but he know what I used to do. You can’t have relationship without communication.

(Looks off into a distance and pauses with makeup.)

Sometime I still have nightmare that nuk lang, that mean gangster, is going to come find me and kill me. But, Adam is always there for me. He comfort me when I have nightmare and cry.

(Gets back to Earth and continues to apply makeup.)

Oh well, everything is okay. We going to move to America to start new life and forget about everything that happen here. The past is past. Time to burn it all and let the ashes blow with the wind.

(Gets up and gathers suitcase to leave.)

​

Stage Directions: One a corner wait for your next client when your boss [pimp] walk up and ask for his money.

(you are talking to a client) Hi Handsome what would you like to do with me today....Oh i got to go sorry come back next time...Hi Mr.Smith...Do i have your money?....no im not stalling...i have it...well only 1,000, i promise i will have the other 500 in two days i promise boss please....no please sir it will never be late again...(the boss grabs her by her arm, slaps her and now she is crying)...im sorry...the men aren’t really coming around...i men they are but they aren’t interested...How ?...yes sir...In two days boss i promise...yes i like my life..no please don’t hurt my daughter PLEASE !!!...I will i promise just don’t hurt her...Yes Sir...(goes back to pulling cars) Hi Handsome what would (5 second pause)...what would you like to do to me tonight ?

Monologue :

Stage directions: 

watches your dad walk out the door after he hands you his dirty dish then walk to the kitchen to start washing the dishes from the day. [your name is maria]

(in her own head while washing the dishes) My dad so nasty, how can he just go over there and fool around with these young girls, let alone my friends may, she i the same age as me, she is only 16, how can you look at a child and want to do that to her, and then for them to be forced and not even get paid for what they are doing to them, Thailand is a horrible place for girls, i can’t believe what people do for money, my mother was a sex worker, oooooo i wish a guy would put his hands on me,...i would have....i would....i would give in, i don’t know why im standing here lying to myself. i wouldn’t do a damn thing to stop him from rapping me, he would kill me with one shot to the head for refusing, ha a girl like me has no place or high demand in these streets, i am just a toy, someones get off, no ones daughter, i am just a girl waiting for her turn to be put up for sale, the next one to be kidnapped....(father calls her)....Yes Father !

I don’t know where your wallet is...Yes Sir !....Her you go father....Okay, Breakfast will be ready in the morning when you get back father....(thinks to herself)...another girls life while be changed ! 

Monologue :

Stage directions: [ standing outside your building with a maria’s father kevin talking about what girl her wants] [ your name is Sean aka boss]

• This is Shi. she is 17 and untouched, what do you think....of course i have younger ones...what is the ages you like....i only have three 16 yeas old and two 15 years olds in right now.....okay...Mike go get them...we have Nancy, Kim, May.....Okay May do your thing...Don’t put any brews on her....no she is a virgin...okay you can bite...Okay Have Fun !

Monolodgue : [in a green room with paint coming of the walls talking to your friend maria’s dad kevin. you have a nervous look on your face and you are standing by the bed]

• Please sir don’t do this...but im only 16 years old please....im sorry...do you have a daughter?....then why are you doing this?...i know your daughter..Maria !..how can you come in here and have sex with someone the same age as your daughter...please just turn around and walk out the room, don’t do this sir...KEVIN PLEASE !!!....[he slaps you and you fall to the ground facing the audience. he bends over your and start speaking to you {this is where they switch of on to Kevin’s monologue}]

I feel like everything gives you cancer. Deodorant, microwaves, soy sauce, depression, stress, hair dyes, toothpaste, broccoli and much more cause cancer. This blows.

​Here are a few of my art projects created in the third quarter.  All of which were inspired by real things.  I spent approximately two hours of practice before I came up with each final product.  
Hand drawing:









Clear bottle Drawing:

To Stressful.Why me Lord. Why?

​Aqui es un PSA sobre Maltrato infantil por Nailah Adam