Descriptive Essay: Not Just Any Living Room

Jasmin Hussain
9-12-2011
English

Not Just Any Living Room


If you walk into my living room, you’ll see nothing out of the ordinary. Just a cozy little room with two sofas that lay against two of the four walls. The third wall has a TV and VCR case with many pictures and certificates put on display. The fourth wall has a computer table with a little desk on the side. In the middle of the room lies an oval rug with swirly patterns and on top of that lies a small coffee table. This room has everything that any other living room would have in it, but for me it has more than just something normal. In this room are many artifacts that carry memories that belong to me.

On the left side of the TV case, on the second shelf towards the bottom stands my 8th grade graduation diploma. Whenever I look at the certificate with the leather bound cover I remember of when I first received it.

It was almost done. Just ten more minutes. She was almost done calling all the names. Five more to go till my name was called. One down, my hands are sweating like mad, two down, I can feel my heart drumming, three down, I think I’m feeling dizzy, four down, oh crap!

“Jasmin Husain,” called Ms. Knight, our school counselor.  It was time for me to go and take my diploma from Ms. Sydnor. I slowly walked around the empty and barren stairs in front of me until the top of the glossy wooden stairs of the stage. I went down the stairs one by one carefully holding on to the cold steel railing in case I trip on my dress because of these ridiculous heels. After I make it down the stairs I walked two feet over to Ms. Sydnor. She shook my sweaty hand saying the words “Congratulations Jasmin, you’ve come a long way and you have a long way to go.” She handed me the navy blue, leather bound diploma. Caring the thick diploma I started to follow my friend out of the Gymnasium door.

This is one of the most important memories in my life. It was a moment in my life where I made a transition from middle school to high school. I felt accomplished, like a just arrived at a goal that I was waiting to reach my entire life. I feel like my diploma represents that goal that I’ve reached. It shows that I am in a way that I was growing up. Not in inches or centimeters but from feeling completed.

As I look back at the TV case more artifacts start to bring back more memories. On the bottom shelf of the TV case lies an old, dusty, black VCR with two buttons missing. I start to remember how many times in my childhood my family had to replace the VCRs because my little sister and me breaking them. As I observe the broken buttons another memory runs across my mind.

           “AAh NO! Not again Tajnia! Did you really just break all of those buttons out of these holes again? This is like the third time!” Yelled my dad to baby Tajnia’s slobbering, and glowing face.
           “I can’t believe we have to go out and buy another VCR, this one wasn’t even a year old!” Dad continued to complain as we all filed in to the car.

This was the fourth time that we were going out to Wal-Mart to buy a TV since we had come to Philadelphia. The first two times it was my fault. The first time I stuck sugar daddy candies into the new cassette holder. The second time I’d spilled Pepsi. At least now I was a big girl, I was seven years old and I knew how the world worked. I’ve matured over the past two years. I know all the specific things that make dad upset. So I have long ago stopped committing those crimes. Tajnia on the other hand still hasn’t learned the lesson.

       This is another very important memory that also belongs to me. This memory to me stands for family. There are many different definitions of family. But, family to me means a group of people who you can look up to. People who understand you, accept your mistakes, and helps you to become the best person that you can be. In this memory Tajnia looks up to me, hoping that she will one day learn not to make the mistakes that makes dad upset. That she will also mature and learn from her mistakes like I did when I was her age.
            I start to laugh at myself thinking of all of these now old memories. My living room has many if the same ideas as any other living room. But it has memories that are very specific to my family and I. Every small detail in the room has something special to it. From the vase of artificial flowers to the knitted tissue box cover. From the stains on the walls to the spills on the carpet.

Sierra Dinvil Refrain

Soy de ..

Soy de ..

Soy de filadelfia 

que es donde yo vivo

pero yo so Haiti 

que es mi casa 


My refrain is supposed to show that I live in Philadelphia, but my heart is in Haiti.
I'm happy that I have a refrain that flows together.
I think that I would like to make it longer..
It was difficult to find things that flow together and would fit well in a song.

Mi Refrn

Vengo de donde hay las playas
Las granjas y el sol hermoso
Gente amable y deliciosa comida.


- What is your refrán supposed to communicate?

My refrán is supposed to communicate a general description about the people, geography and food of Jamaica.


- What are you especially happy about with your first draft?

I am happy that it flows and the lyrics just go together. All the lines come together to  paint the picture that I want the audience to see.


- What would you like to improve about your refrán?

I want to make my refrán longer and maybe improve the quality of the lyrics.


- What was difficult about writing your refrán?

The only difficult part was coming up with a topic that I wanted to address in the refrán. After I got this, it was pretty easy.

Refran

​Hola chico 
Ha estado en la Filipinas?
¿Puedes oír el océano?
¿Puedes sentir el viento?

Bienvenidos a mi madre tierra!


~ On the first stanza of the song, the singer is talking to a kid. She's asking if the kid knows about the Philippines and if the kid can feel the things that the singer feels. 

~ I was happy about my first draft because I already have an idea on what my song is going to be about. I'm planning to have a ballad. Kind of a poem or song, story telling for short. 

~ I wanted to improve some because I'm still thinking on what sounds good for the song. 

~ Matching the words to the rhythm of the song. 

El Refran First Draft_Middlebrooks

Refrain:

De alimento para el alma de sonrisas y risas, yo vengo.

Los árboles de alta en el cielo con los brazos abiertos rama.

Siempre buscando

Basta con buscar

El futuro y el pasado están aún por definir.


The refrain is intended to communicate highlights of where I am from. Those highlights include smiles, laughter, food from the soul, nature, past, and the future. I think that the words flow nicely together and, hopefully, will be easier t put to music. The refrain could be a bit more literal instead of abstract to allow some grounding. Finding words and attempting to make tim flow was the most difficult part of writing the refrain.


Keiasha Lumpkins ( Refran)

yo vengo amo

yo vengo filidelfia

yo vengo me

yo vengo todos por encima 

(refran)

My refran is just about who I am and what i do. That's could be described where I am from. I am happy that I can write about what I want in my song. I would like to improve by adding more to my refran and make it better. I was difficult because I didn't know what to write about at first.

Refan De Anastsia

Vengo de un lugar tranquillo.

Una casa de amor.

Vengo de la musica

Y bailar.



Its supposed to communicate that I come from a place that is quiet but at the same time some things that go on can be loud.I'm happy that it was extremely hard to write my first draft, it simple but captures what i want to say.As an improvement I think that I might want to make the lines rhyme.

NaQuan's Refran

Es el olor

Es los vistas

Es el sabor

Es las memorias

es la dicha

es filadelfia

  • What is your refrán supposed to communicate? 
My refran is basically just listing the things that I like about Philadelphia.
  • What are you especially happy about with your first draft?
What I like most about this is that it sort of gives me a list to go off of. It gives me things that i can describe in the actual verses to make this an actual song. Also, just looking at the words gives me a basic idea of what the beat may be like.
  • What would you like to improve about your refrán first draft?
I may consider trying to shorten the number of syllables used in each line. Looking at the words, some lines have too many syllables to keep the beat flowing. I may also consider finding lyrics that go a little deeper than what I have now.
  • What was difficult about writing your refrán? 
The difficulty for me came in trying to think of words for the thing. I wasn't too worried about beat, but I was worried about coming up with a chorus that'll effectively describe where I live.

Refran

Soy de Filadelfia
de la música árabe
y la cultura francés
Soy de mi familia
Los personas Locas
soy
 de mí


My refran is a summery about my family and culture.
I like the rhythm of my refran
I would mike to add some rhyme to the refran
Making the refran sound catchy was hard.

Stewart-McDonaldRefran

​Yo vengo de una ciudad.
historia, arte, y música
Mi corazón vive en ese ciudad.
Mi alma pertenece aquí.

I wanted my refrain to give an overall idea of where I'm from and how I felt living/being from there. So, I basically wanted to just write a few short lines that gives the general idea of where I'm from and make the verses go into the detail.
I like that I started using a type of figurative language. I usually find it easy to write poetry, but thinking about writing a song usually makes me think of how hard it can be to incorporate poetry into music, so I'm just glad that I just delve into writing the refrain and didn't really think about the fact it was going to be a song.
I would like to make it longer and maybe make it a little more poetic. I think it may be too short and that there's so much more I could possibly do with it.
I found it hard to make a rhyme scheme or make a certain flow, I feel like it needs more a flow or something that will make it seem more like a song than one of my freestyle poems. 

Maggie's Refran

Soy de Filadelfia
Cheesesteaks, pizza, las papas fritas.

No muy colina

Todos los días muere alguien.


My refrain is supposed to tell the person where I am from. What I like, and what happens in a short chorus. I am happy with the Spanish that I added into it. I think I did an ok job at translating using wordreference. I would like to make it longer and a little less depressing. I had a hard time making things in Spanish rhyme. 

Danny's refran

vengo de america
vengo de filadelfia
vengo de fútbol al béisbol
vengo de mis amigos a mi familia 

It just talked about the things that have made me who i am today. Also the things that are very important or were very important to me at some point in my life. 

Chelsea Janette Smith

La musica estallido 
Personas danza
Todos disfrutar se quieren
Eso es mi barrio
(Repetir 2x)

My refrain is suppose to show were I at and how it is around in my neighborhood. 
Im happy with how easy it is to flow with and how it makes sense and is easy to comprehend for anyone.
I just want to make sure that the draft makes a lot of sense and if there is a way to improve it that I can do that. 
The only thing I found difficult was actually choosing something to write about and being able to base a whole song on something that I can make sense of.

Bee - Ahorita 20/9

​"Mi familia está muy grande y todo por el mundo."

My refrain is supposed to communicate about how my family is the main part of where I'm from and I have no original home since I moved so much at such a young age.

I'm happy about the fact it's all about me. It's not about my location, but all about the people in my life. Even if they're not biological relatives, I still consider them family.

I would like to add more to my refrain.

The problem I had with writing the refrain was to find a theme to go with the song. To me, choruses are like thesis sentences. Every other verse has to relate back to it.

My Refran

​Yo soy de vuelta en el día.

Essentially, my refrán means "I am from back in the day." And it's suppose to show that even though we're all growing up, I'm from the times I grew up in. And sometimes people forget that. Childhoods mean so much, because they create who we are now. And I'd just like to honor the "back in the day" for me.

Generally, it's a short yet very effective refrán. After words explaining my childhood, I can simply end it with "​Yo soy de vuelta en el día." Which, I feel would compliment the rest of the song. Kind of like a nice little spice on a bland meal. 

Really, I have nothing against my ​refrán. I may need to check the grammar to make sure it means what I'm implying, but other than that there's nothing that needs to be added. Maybe if I wanted to, I could add something specifically I liked about "back in the day" onto it to emphasize its meaning.  

I had no real problems writing my refrán. I knew from the beginning I wanted to write about my childhood. Given, it's not the most amazing childhood around, but I have to give credit when credit is deserved. Because of how I grew up, I became who I am today. So I owe everything to those times. From my parents to my own experiences. And I'm sure I can interpret that in a very excellent way.

Yang Refran

Yo vengo de tierra de mi padres 
Vengo de Estados Unidos 
Vengo de Filadelfia 
Vengo de Patria

This refran basically speaks of my background, where I am. Although I wasn't born in a foreign country, my parents were. And I'd say that half of me belongs there and the other big half is here. I'd still call it the homeland, because of my ethnicity. 

I'm happy I even got something out of it. It might not be an original idea, but it's where I'm just from, and that it was hard to describe something that wasn't physical.

Adding more lines, make it sound more advanced or at least not so simple as to where I'm literally from, more like something you'd have to think deeper into. 

The only thing that was difficult was actually trying not to sound like everyone else. 





Mi cacion :]

​Refrán:
Yo vengo a Vietnam
La comida es increíble

My refrain is suppose to tell people about where I'm from and about my food. I love food! I'm happy to say that I'm from Vietnam. I would like to add more than 2 lines. It has to go with the rhythm. One thing that was difficult for me was to go with the syllables to my original english song. It just has to go with the beat. 

De dnde vengo yo? - refrn


¿De dónde vengo yo?
¿De dónde vengo yo?
​Vengo de pequeño ciudad
Famosa comida y museos
Es gran... lugar... estar. 

- My refrán is supposed to communicate just a small glimpse of Philly. Just something short.
- I think for my first draft I did well with organizing my thoughts.
- I think I should make sure that it goes along with the music.
- The difficult part was making sure I didn't put anything in the refrán that may fit better in a verse. 

Donde de vengo yo?

De donde vengo yo?
Yo vengo de mi casa
Yo vengo mi mama
Yo vengo de mis actividades favoritas

Yo vengo en mi casa
Mi casa es en filidelfia
Yo nacido en California
Mi casa es muy cómodo

Yo vengo mi mama
Mi mama es cómica
Yo mama y papa muy enamoradas con
Mi mama es estupendo

De donde vengo yo?
Yo vengo de mi casa
Yo vengo mi mama
Yo vengo de mis actividades favoritas

Yo vengo de mis activitdades favoritas 
Me gusta leer
Me gusta pasar un rato con amigos
Me gusta escuchar música


De donde vengo yo?
Yo vengo de mi casa
Yo vengo mi mama
Yo vengo de mis actividades favoritas

(I like the chorus. I need to check all my lyrics to be sure they are correct. In the song I talk about where I am from my hometown and my love of music. I think I am going to do something quick and simple for the tune.)

My Chorus Thingy

Yo me gusta Russia!

Y me gusta USA!

Porque me gusta los paises?

Yo no se!


This chorus says that I like both USA and Russia. My plan is to throw a bunch of reasons as to why, and say one country that I do not like or something. I got the idea from an old Russan song that is called "10 причин" or something like that!