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“this always happens, everytime i get a new rider something horrible happens to them they always get into accidents.I was really starting to like this owner, I was starting to think that he would actually stay this time. he was really nice and he took good care of me,he got my oil changed I never had less than a half tank and I was always kept squeaky clean and shiny. I never stayed with my owner for more than a year, and then we got into an accident and then i went to another owner. it did not always happen that way though sometimes I was gifted away, sometimes I was bought off of people and I remember that one time I was stolen from my owner. That time was crazy because after that I got a new skin put on so I wouldn't be recognized as the stolen bike, this really weird for a while cause I was not used to it but after a while I started to like it but then we got into an accident and my skin got scratched and they had to peel it off and I was back to normal.

after that I went to a dealership because my owner went to jail for getting into an accident and hitting someone, while on me, that was also a really sad moment for me because I felt partially responsible for the person's injuries. After that I remember going to a different owner he was about 19 years old in college and he was trying to impress girls with “his new shiny motorcycle”. our time together did not last long because he actually did not know how to ride a motorcycle, so him and a girl got into an accident he was trying to merge on the highway and braked to fast and the car behind us rammed into my back and sent all of us flying. although i got a bit banged up they both went flying and they had to go to the hospital. while he was there his parents took me to an used car dealership and they sold me. I Stayed there for a while collecting dust in the back with the other cars and bikes that everyone at the dealership. gave up hope of selling. then one day a strange man walked in and he asked if they had any bikes for sale, he looked kind of weird standing there in his late teenage years asking for a motorcycle. He was wearing khaki skinny pants a tight t-shirt and a pair of running shoes. They brought him over to my area with all the other bikes, at first he didn't see me but eventually he came over and he said this is the one and he asked the person helping how much and i was and the man asked how much he had and the boy said about 3500 and the man automatically took him up on the great offer, I was actually quite flattered given the fact I was not worth that much in my current state. After we left the dealership he immediately took me to an auto shop. On the front it read “jim’s auto” and we both went in and he stood me up strait and started taking me apart cleaning me up and putting my pieces back together and fixing my dents. I heard one of the other mechanics in there calling him a “ greaser” so that is what I started calling him. as soon as he was done cleaning I was all shiny and he filled up my tank and we went out on the highway at first I got scared that we would crash so I did not get clingy but at first we did not crash for days then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and by then we were good together and I thought this is the time that we are not gonna crash. Then it happened we were just going out for a cruise in the neighborhood and a drunk driver was speeding down the street and blindsided us and he flew 50 feet and I went under the car. I heard him hit the concrete, he fractured his pelvis and broke his back and got paralyzed from the waist down and as for me I went under the car and this was finally it for me I got crushed my engine got ran over, my handlebars got bent in two different ways and my rear got torn from my front. and that brings me to now I am laying in the junkyard waiting to be melted and turned into something new. But until then I am still the same piece of scrap metal that I started out as.

Ugh, I can’t believe I have to work with him again. Why does this always happen to me?

I just walked into my class and the teacher was making everyone change their seats. I was fine where I was sitting and all of a sudden, we change seats. Now I’m working with him, the person no one wants to work with because every project someone has done with him, ended up with him doing nothing and the other person doing everything.

(to the chair next to him/her) Okay, so we’re doing the Renaissance as our topic for this project and you’re going to find pictures about the Renaissance. I’ll give you the links where you can get the pictures from. So really, you don’t have to do anything.

Wow, I can’t believe he took my offer.

So, that’s everything you will be doing. After you finish with that, you can be done and leave me alone.

I’m making him feel useless, aren’t I. Listening to myself, I sound bossy and controlling. Why am I always trying to control situations? Am I making everyone feel useless?

I don’t really mean to, sometimes I can’t control it. Sometimes what I’m thinking just bursts out of me and I end up hurting the people around me. The hardest part about this is trying to apologize, trying to take back all of the hurtful things you said, with no intention to hurt anyone.

I know that bossing people around isn’t really who I am, it is just how people see me. I guess that I’ve always been bossy because I was always being bossed around by everyone that I knew. Maybe now I want to boss people around and see how they like it, make them see what it was like for me and make them feel the way I did when I was being bossed around. That’s not right; I don’t want people to see me as someone who is just bossy and controlling, even though I don’t want them to see the real me either.

Just control yourself right now, Ash, so that you don’t hurt anyone. Stay calm and just focus on your own work and maybe let him find the pictures on his own. If he needs your help he will ask, so just focus on your half of the project right now. (breathes in and out deeply)

I was trying to focus on my work, but I couldn’t stop looking at what he was doing every 5 seconds. I knew that something was going to burst out of my mouth, asking him what he was doing, but I was trying to control myself.

Hey, what are you working on? Oh, you’re still finding pictures? Ugh, sorry I didn’t mean it that way.

I can’t believe I just said that to him. Here comes the hard part; trying to apologize to him, but I don’t know what I should say to him. This time try to be yourself, be nice and you’ll figure out what to say.

This scene takes place in the bathroom in a mirror

While the scene is taking place the actress will be doing her hair, brushing her teeth, make up etc. to get the feel of her getting ready for school.

(Yelling) Yes mom I’m up

I am so up

I don’t have an attitude I just.. Ok whatever. (rolls eyes)

I’m so sick of this shit, I can’t wait to go to college (says under breath)

(Repeats loudly) I said I can’t wait to go to school and get this knowledge

Everyday is the same thing. Wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to sleep.

Ugh I really don't want to go to school today. I hate it there. All you see in school is a bunch of fake bitches you don't like, teachers who think you don't have a life outside of school, couples who think the hallway is a bedroom and a bunch of work that you won’t do until the night before. I wish I was sick. (feels face) Please someone give me the flu or chickenpox or something that lets me stay in bed all day today.

(Yelling) Mom (cough,cough) I’m sick

I am so sick

I am not full of shit, I’m sick I really am

Ok mom ok whatever (Mocks mom with hand)

Why doesn’t she understand that school is hell. I have to sit for 7 hours and watch a bunch of kids act like they are going to do something with their lives after high school is over. They talk about their big plans to go to Paris and China when the closest they will get to there is google maps. I mean don’t get me wrong some of them are perfectly capable of actually make their dreams a reality, but only the ones who actually care about their future. But I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the kids who buy 300 dollar shoes and get a 30 on a test. The kids who forget that school is for education and not just to meet people to have sex with.They will be the ones who end up being the neighborhood drug dealers, hoes, addicts, golddiggers and people who still live in their mom’s house at 35.”

Huh?

You're leaving?

Oh ok see you after school

She’ll never understand what it’s like for me at school.She is getting paid to be miserable my misery is 100 percent free. Getting talked about all the time for no reason. Teacher’s failing me because they’re “stressed” and need something to take the stress out on. Weird looks in the hallway, all of it it’s just exhausting. I just wish I could find any reason not to go to school today. A snowstorm, a sudden fire anything that would prohibit me from going. I just need a day, one day where I’m not stressed the fuck out from test or projects. One day where I don’t have to be around a bunch of people. One day where I can sit in my damn house in my pj’s eating Chinese food and watching movies. Put no I have to go to school. Honestly school is helping me do nothing. I’m just their everyday wasting time being taught things I’ll never use. I want to be a dancer and ya know that’s what I need to learn about if that’s what I want to do. So I really don’t understand how y= mx+b will help me do shit. School is so pointless. They teach us a bunch of crap that is useless in the real world. Now what they need to be teaching is how to pay taxes cause that shit is confusing.

(Brushing teeth and talking) I mean I would like to learn something useful for once.

(Spitting out toothpaste) Ya know I could always drop out. Be a drug dealer or a stripper maybe. That’s where the real money is. Naw I couldn’t do that I’m not slick enough to sell drugs and I’m not thick enough to be a stripper. (Laughing) ”

My mom would kill me if I did either of those.

(Mocking mom is annoying voice)  You have to stay in school and get an education and go to college and do this and that and blah blah blah.

(Pauses for a moment for a realization) I guess really we go to school for our parents. If it was up to kids we would drop out really. We bring home our grades that makes them happy or sad, either way they expect more. Seeing their child succeed brings them joy. They’re basically living through us. So in a way school isn’t really for kids. I mean I guess we benefit from it in the long run but really it’s for our mom’s and dad’s to see us become better people.

(Pause) Hmmm I never really thought of it that way. Well I guess school is kinda important. It’s our parents way of holding onto us as kids. (Checks phone) Wow it’s 7:45 in the morning and I already discovered the secret to life. (Chuckles)

(Face changes from laughing to frightened) 7:45 fuck I’m going to be late.

(Grabs phone and book bag) Great just great I’m going to be late to school on a Mon..

(Pauses after staring at phone) Saturday. I’m going to school on a Saturday… wow

(Facial expression is annoyed) ( Lights dim, Scene over)

“ 17 years I been doing this...17 long years. Having four kids, spending everyday at home picking up Lego's, organizing lunches, cleaning rooms, cooking, being the cool mom, the devoted mom. Perfect wife. Making sure his clothes were laid out in the morning, having his breakfast on the table before 7, dinner hot on the table when he got home, minding my business by not asking questions. Letting him be the man. I did all these things for Mark and our family...my family just to get a text three weeks ago saying...oh Caroline I think we should get a divorce. Just like that. I knew he was seeing that little hoe at his job Amanda who was barely able to buy a drink or smoke a cigarette, but I didn’t think he would throw the family away. I thought if I just kept doing what a good mother and wife should do that everything would be okay.

It wasn’t too long ago that I seen him cuddling that bitch at that cozy little bar “Cush” on 52nd South street. I was on my way to pick up dinner for the kids when I glanced over and saw them through the eerily romantic glass windows. Shock, Panic, and anger all ran through my mind, but at the same time I knew I couldn’t leave my life. Being the somewhat strong woman I once thought I was I just turned a blind eye thinking he would eventually get his fill of her and come back home. Now I guess not. What did I expect tho, I mean all men want the cutest, hottest, blondest piece on the market to take home and show off to their friends. My father did...Mark did it. Guess I should have known. What middle aged stud executive wants a good wife and mother by their side. They want the new, the wrinkless, the dumb who can’t pee for themselves without asking for assistance. Me...I’m not going down like that. He can have his little fling, but I’ll get my laugh to.

You see, I’ve done way too much in these 17 years to be flushed out of a life, sulking in tissues in some no name town trying to figure out what I was or who I was before I achieved my so called american dream. I need something to give me joy, give me happiness. Mark wants a new life...but I..want to take it away. I want to make him suffer, make him scream, make him wither away for being the coward he is. Maybe I’ll write a book called how to kill your husband, and say it’s realistic fiction. Killing might be extreme, but who cares. A deep part of me wants to take his life, but at the same time his life belongs to my children as well. Despite our lives Mark has always been a good father to them, they love him. At one point he used to be good to me, he used to love me.

Well, tomorrow’s picture day for your freshman year of high school. The choice for ensemble seems almost as if there’s really no competition for-um...what are you doing. Ha, I think there’s a mistake…That? You’re choosing that? Over me? But it doesn’t even go with what you’re wearing, and besides, that’s not even your favorite!

I guess I should’ve taken you not wearing me in the past five months as a warning that you wouldn’t have use for me anymore. But why? We had three amazing years together. It seems like yesterday when you first saw me hanging right there on the clearance rack. I was the perfect match for you, just the right blend of chic and casual but still quirky with a great splash of vintage.  When I caught your eye, it was like a match made in thrift-store heaven...well, your mom didn’t think so since I reminded her of the top she wore to her senior breakfast in 1987, but we were able to convince her to buy me. The first 15 times you wore me, you got compliments every time, and not even just from old people! When people asked where you got me, you would proudly explain that I was a one-of-a-kind vintage original and that they’d be lucky if they even find it from an eBay seller. In only a few short weeks I was promoted from just a mere occasional conversation starter to being worn almost everyday, sometimes without trips to the washer & dryer.

Remember when you won your first spelling bee, or got an 100 on that test? I was right there! I mean...I wouldn’t consider myself lucky or anything, but you can’t ignore coincidence. Besides, who else had your back (literally) when those bullies were talking badly about your fashion choices? Oh don’t go flaunting off that cheap department store top in the mirror like it’s a 30+ year old 100% silk designer authentic. It doesn’t flatter your skintone in the slightest. Teal? Never a good choice for photos, especially with khakis. Oh, a scarf? That doesn’t make that disaster of an outfit better one bit. Wait...you’re putting it back in the closet. Oh, okay...maybe you’ll make a good choice this time. [isn’t chosen] A sweater? You’re wearing a sweater? You might as well wear a beanie and an eyebrow piercing! How dare you even think that a flimsy sweater will suffice as a decent garment for one of the biggest days of your high school career? Don’t tell me...you’re actually reaching for a beanie aren’t you.

Okay, what is going on here? You treat me like your favorite outfit one day and then the next you decide that you’re too good for me? You used to be this girl who didn’t care what people thought of her, who was just shamelessly unspoken and proud to stand out. I remember when you bought me, you just had to have me to wear with those amazing sapphire blue bell bottoms that were stunningly authentic and every bit antique. For three years I was the literal garb of your personality; bright and unique but still subtle and light. There was no special event that you went to without me as a plus one and I was your go-to for birthday parties. So what exactly happened? Did you...outgrow me?

(Main character is scruffy and sitting down behind what appears to be a city background / backdrop that is dimly lit)

(Softly while jingling a cup) Spare any change? Change. Please Ma’am, anything you could spare?

(Sighs and puts down cup) How did this become my life? Sitting on the streets and begging for scraps.

I remember when I was a baseball player. Man, I even had the best swing of my league.

(Looks remorsefully at his still calloused palms) Still have proof too. The callous never really faded.

I could've been a national player if not for people’s ridiculous opinions.

When my teammates found out, they were uncomfortable around me. Before I knew it, I was shunned. The guys would turn away from me in the locker room, some even refused to change with me there. They treated me as if I was an alien based on my preference.

I never asked to be like this. Were they uncomfortable with my sexual status or just me? What did I ever do wrong?

I was harassed for things I had no control over. (Mockingly) “I guess he bats for the other team. Ironic he picked this sport.”

I finally acknowledged my sexuality, but I guess not everyone could. I was looked down on, thought of as ‘weird’ or ‘disgusting.’ I was viewed as different, incomprehensible, some people just couldn’t understand and so I had to become a victim.

What makes me the most upset is that I tried really hard. I wanted a career in athletics, it was what I loved doing. I practiced to points of exhaustion sometimes to make sure I was fully connecting with the ball, that my stamina was good, or just catching exercises. I could’ve been so good, successful even. If only I was the modern society’s view of ‘normal.’

I was kicked out. Fired. Terminated. My coach gave me the spiel of how my personal life got in the way of my fellow team members’ productivity and how the teamwork shifted to a place that wasn’t up to par with the competition. How I was responsible, how it was my fault.

I understand that some people won’t just magically accept me for who I am. I’m not asking people to embrace the fact that I’m attracted to the same sex. I’m just asking for people to see beyond who I am attracted to. Who I love doesn’t affect my morals, my personality, or my foundations as a person. I am human!

Baseball ended there. I tried to transfer, but no one would take me. But, I realized, this could be good. I could make a clean slate, be who I am. Unfortunately, finances didn’t allow me this privilege. Money eventually ran short and I’m no good at other jobs. I tried moving a couple times and long story short, rent is a lot of money. Life is hard, and I do miss the past ‘normal’ me, but I would never want to go back.

(Reaches out and picks up cup again) After all, I rather be myself with nothing, than be a fraud with everything.

(Holds out cup) Spare any change? Change. Please Ma’am, anything you could spare?

I won’t let you love me, you can’t, you don’t even know me. I know me pretty well and I fucking hate myself. I don’t have the capacity to love someone, ok I sound like a robot, but you get it. You know that thing where people say you can’t love someone until you love yourself? That’s me with you. I know you say I deserve to be happy, you deserve to be happy too. I can’t let you waste your time on someone who doesn’t find a deeper meaning in a word. This is better for you and me. We’ve never met and I can’t love someone I’ve never met. Your baggage is my baggage and mine is yours. I don’t want you to have to deal with mine.

Belle shuts her laptop

That four letter word means nothing. I don’t understand how words can mean so much to people especially such a simple saying. I get that words like onomatopoeia or auspicious or idiosyncratic could have meaning because they’re so big. But love, l-o-v-e. According to Merriam Webster; To love: is to feel sexual or romantic love for (someone). But the top definition for love on Urban Dictionary is nature's way of tricking people into reproducing. That’s funny because it’s kind of true. Love is all chemical. And because of that, it’s too fucking complex. I don’t even think I have the capacity to love.

Opens laptop

Sorry I needed a breather. You’re perfect, you really are. You deserve someone that can provide far more for you than I can. You don’t even know my last name. All you know is Bellebeauty94. No, My last name is not beauty. It’s not like I don’t want to be with you. That isn’t the case at all. I’ve been trying for so long and so hard to bring myself to say that I love you.

Shuts laptop

I made a tumblr when I was like 13 and now I’m about to graduate high school. I don’t remember a time without the internet. Physical contact isn’t even necessary anymore. And I can’t really tell if that terrifies me or amazes me.

I guess if love is only a word…

It won’t kill me to tell me I love him. Fake it till you make it right? I can’t help how he feels.

Opens laptop

Hey. I love you.

Monologue: 

Why did you do this to me? What have I ever done to you? All I have done is help you! All I have done is try my best to bring this family together ever since mum left. I was the one who had looked for a job and tried my best to pay for the bills. You thought I didn’t notice that you sneaked money out of the safe for alcohol? How could you even do this to me? To yourself? All the work I have done to achieve that money and you were just throwing it out.

You're were using up our savings that we need. You can’t do this anymore. I won’t allow you to Dad. I’m eighteen and If I wanted to I could leave. I don’t have to stay here and watch us drown ourselves in debt. I don’t know why this whole time I decided to stay. I shouldn’t be sacrificing my time from school work to do work. I want to go to college, but I guess I won’t be doing that any time soon. If I do leave right now, we will fall even more apart and I’m sure that none of us want that.

The moment I walked into the house I knew something was wrong. I felt the tension in the atmosphere. You stalked towards me like I was your prey. It then got to the point where the alcohol was getting into your head and you were not thinking clearly. You saw red. You saw mum in me. Is that why you grabbed my arms, thinking it was her? You held me tightly and hugged me and whispered into my ear asking why she left, why would she break apart us apart, why she did this to us...

Then suddenly out of thin air, something must have gotten into your head. You violently started shaking me. Then unwrapped your arms from around me and shoved me, and I abruptly hit the wall, and I banged my head against it, causing a searing pain in my head. Then I felt something hit my cheek. I felt the blood rushing to my face. You slapped me, Dad. I was too stunned to move. How could you do that to your own daughter? Your own flesh and blood. I should’ve known you would do this even before you laid a hand on me. You were out of your mind! Then you started shouting. You started accusing me saying how I ruined everything, that I was behind the reason why we were in the position we were in now. How if she didn’t leave for another man that we wouldn't be in this position. How she broke your heart. Dad, you thought I was mum. You really thought that low of me?

I composed myself and then suddenly something clicked in me. I was fed up with what you were saying. It had already been six months since she left and we needed to get past that. We were stronger than this.

(Picks up the phone and calls her boyfriend)

Hey babe … Yeah I’m fine, I just had to talk to you about something. Umm I don’t know if you’ll be mad but just don’t hang up on me…. So…  I took a pregnacy test and it came back positive. Yeah, I’m so serious I would never lie about something like that…. Don’t yell at me! You were the one who decided to crawl in my bed, it takes 2. No I haven’t told my mom yet, you’re the first person I told. A abortion is not an option! We are going to take care of this child, this is something we decided to do and we have to own up to it…. I’m 2 months already and I’m so scared. I should have never done it with you, you told me it would all be okay, you said I wouldn’t get pregnant! It’s all your fault and now you see what happened? …. No! don’t tell me to calm down do you know how much trouble I am going to get in... I know I didn’t have to do it with you but it happened and now we can’t take this back!.. No I’m not telling my mom first, you tell yours… I’m scared to, it’s okay just promise not to leave me all alone. I didn’t hear you say you promise … 

Hello? HELLO? You still there ? Oh okay, good! Now tell me you promise! …. promise that you’re not going to leave me alone with OUR responsibility… Why can’t you make this promise to me?... Are you serious !? If I LOVE you, I wouldn’t make you take care of this baby? If you LOVED me so much to get in my bed you’re going to LOVE this baby and take care of it! … I told you that wasn’t an option! This child deserves a beautiful life… I know, we are young, dumb and we aren’t ready but it’s time for us to grow up and get ready… Trust me, I can’t believe this either but life goes on and stuff happens, we all make silly mistakes… I know this is not a “silly” mistake! I don’t know how to describe it, I’m just trying to look at the positive side! I just need us to stay together and take care of our child.... WHAT!?! Did I hear you correctly, you said you’re breaking up with me!? What do you mean !? … No !! you can’t do this to me , you can’t !! .. Don’t go… This is your baby to !! 

Wait! Please! Don’t hang up we still have to talk about this ! Hello? HELLO? ( puts the phone down and cries hysterically)

(lying on a hospital bed) I am not a man. I am not a monster. I don’t know what I am. I think I’m alive. If you can call this thing I have a life.  

And the worst part is: I chose this.

If a well known hospital tells you (mocking, goofy voice)“hey, do you wanna be immortal?” there’s really only one answer. This was when I was 55 and that…that marked the end of my life. They took me here. Hooked me up to these computers. And then…the beeping started(beeping starts). That incessant (progressively louder)“beep beep beep beep Beep Beep Beep Beep BEep BEep BEEP BEEP” IT DRIVES ME INSANE.

It was pretty ok at first. They sort of left me alone. Gave me food when I needed it. Not really when I asked, but that was ok. It was peaceful, and I liked that. Then when I was around 90, maybe 100, they started to show themselves more. The eyes(doctor walks on stage). Groups of them(another doctor walks on stage). They would just stare. They would sometimes move their mouths but I couldn’t hear them. I didn’t think they want me to. I mean I don’t expect them to. I don’t think they like me.

This is about all I can do to pass this time. Think about this place. It’s all I can remember. I barely know what time is anymore. When you’ve been around this long, (chuckle), you really stop caring about each day. I have been alive for 216 years and it has felt like just another 55.

(doctor walks close)The…end? Ha HA! FINALLY! I have waited lifetimes for this moment! I barely felt alive in the first place, and now, I can finally be FREE from this curse! This curse of life! It can finally…end…Do I even want it to end? I mean, I certainly am not enjoying THIS “life,” but would nothing be better? At least now I can think. I am constantly in pain, but at least I can feel something. I guess I never really thought about that before. Is living in an endless cycle of torture better than not living at all?

I need to find out. I can not die. (in the direction of the doctors)They SAID I would be immortal. (directly to the doctors)Let me BE IMMORTAL. I have nothing but myself! I need myself! I can’t afford to have this end. Maybe all this time by myself has made me like myself more than other people or something. I don’t know! I just need more time!

(Boy + girl walks in, girl speaks.) I have a best friend, Billy. We became close ever since I moved to California from New York. Our parents knew each other, so we were practically meant to be and have each other’s backs. I moved when I was about 5 turning 6. We went to the same school ever since. Everyone knows us as Billy & Miranda, the lowkey lovers. I didn’t really like that because I never saw him more than a best friend, but then one day it hit me...

It was summer of our junior year when I realized the look in his eyes. Every time he looks at me, it’s different. (Looks at her, pointing at a direction and then walking there.) We’ve been friends since forever, his parents are pretty close with mines, so we basically grew up together. But it wasn’t till summer I realized all the jokes our friends were making. That look in his eyes when he talks to me, it’s just different. His eyes grew bigger, prettier, I try not to make eye contact when I’m with him, so I just laugh at what he says and look away. Growing up, I know that he’ll always be there for me, to protect me, to beat up the people who bothered me, he’s like my guardian angel. (White light shines on the guy.) I didn’t realize is that he’ll become someone I’d admire the most.

(Walks around the stage to sit at the bench.) I don’t know what will happen if we do go out. I mean it wouldn’t surprise people, but what if it doesn’t work out? What if at the end we won’t say a word to each other? Who’s going to be there when I need a friend, who’s going to be there when I need help? (Looks at each other and smiles, the sun sets from the screen in the back.) My friend, my dearest friend, you’ve been there for me through the ups and the downs, through thick and thin; but what if we get sick of each other, what if you decided that we should’ve just stayed close friends? I can’t afford to lose someone like you.

(Guy turns to the girl, and smiles.) (Girl looks back at him, smiling.) There you go again, with those eyes and that smile. (bits lip and gets a little flirty happy, then quickly gets serious) Wait no, please do not do anything stupid. I wasn’t sure about my feelings, the way you would look at me with those eyes. Again, I just smiled and looked away. It was getting chilly as the night approaches. (Girl folds her arm, the guy saw and gave her his jacket.) Wait, no, don’t be like this,(She shook her head, pushing the jacket back to him.) I know you’re cold too (guy puts jacket around her) (girl just smiles.) Thank you. (Both actors get up and walks over to beginning position.) (Lights turned off.)

This slide I created describes me in three ways, my love of video games, my love of cars, and my cancer experience. The car, a Maserati gran turismo, represents my passion for cars. I have loved cars since I was a little kid, and I still do now, and it has influenced many things in my life. For example, I have hundreds of hotwheels cars in our basement, and more in my room. The text “MooseMan” represents my love of video games, because that is what my name is online when I play these games. This has influenced me a lot because I have gotten very skilled at these games, and been recognized by a professional at these game. TheSlapTrain is a guy who makes youtube videos for a living, and makes a top 10 clips sent in by viewers show every week. I have gotten on 7 times now, and this influences me because this is what I spend almost all of my free time doing. Finally I added the zodiac symbol for cancer to represent my cancer experience as a child. I had leukemia from when I was 3 to when I was 6, and it influenced me because at the time, it was half and half if I would live. That is how this slide describes me.

picture of car from:

http://hdimagelib.com/car+image+white+background

cancer symbol:

http://www.compatible-astrology.com/zodiac-symbol.html

They said “bye Ozzie!” and I tried to go with them, but they shut the door in my face. (pause) That’s how it usually goes, they leave and I’m left alone here like most every single day. I spent the first 10 minutes trying to open the door and go after them but because of my body disfiguration (looks at hands and sighs), I couldn’t unlock the door. I cried and whined as I can’t speak and waited in hope that they would come back for me, but to no avail. Sitting in front of the door I pondered why they would want to leave me alone as they said to me every day when I was young that they loved me.

Knowing that I was destined to be alone for the rest of the day, I then played with my favorite stuffed animal, whom they called “Winky”. “Winky” I had picked out at the consignment shop when I was less than a year old .The name originates from the fact “Winky” only came with one eye. I didn’t care as over the years “Winky” has given me the comfort I couldn’t get from anyone else. Calming down with one of my favorite friends, I asked Winky what I should do for the rest of the day. Nobody else can hear Winky, but he said that I should eat as eating always calms me down.

I went to the food they had left out for me and solemnly ate it. However, I was concentrating too much on how bored I was going to be that I ate my food all at once not even leaving a single crumb for me to eat later. (gets exasperated) I washed down my guilt with a nice few gulps of water and proceeded to go into my own room. My own room is very small, much more so than what the others have. I walked into and sat on the one piece of furniture I had, my bed. There I looked at all the stuffed animals I had beside me and wondered why I couldn’t have real live friends. The others had friends who came over very often always making a ruckus and playing with me as if I were a toy. Why can’t they understand that I am living like everyone else! (Gets emotional sadly and frustrated)

Whenever they take me outside, people look at me as if I am some sort of alien. Everyone wants to touch me and they always act as if I am a baby and speak to me in that super annoying, “sweety” (puppy dog voice)voice.(end sad and frustrated) Reflecting on it I get so upset but in the moment like many other things, I don’t mind because I forget my troubles. I love being outside, getting attention, and most of all, seeing my friends. They take me every other day around 3:30 pm to the park, so they call it. There I usually see my mentor Boris who has been on this planet beyond his years and everyday I listen to his teachings of life. I also meet Yuma, Chester, and Monet whom are my best play buddies and best friends. (gets happy and excited) Everyday we play tag and see who is the best in our boxing games and I admit I usually come out the loser. However, there are usually two others who really make me so very happy. She comes every day so I hear, with her other, Stephanie. When I have seen her, my heart melts into a pool of desire swirling around with hope and a twinge of despair as she only hangs out with her friends and the jocks. (becomes sad and pensive)

(end pensiveness) But enough talk about my daydreaming, I must tell you what else happened so far. After my longing to see the outside, I decided to have fun. I brought Winky with me to the big bedroom the largest others slept in. I flung Winky onto the bed and got onto the bed after him. Relaxing, we talked about how I found him and then we jumped on the bed together, pretending it was a trampoline. In our great fun I accidentally knocked over those big fluffy things they call pillows, but I didn’t bother to put them back. Then Winky made the great suggestion of getting more to eat. I was famished so we both went to where they stored my food. The others stacked it so high I became despondent until Winky told me where the others stored their food.

Then became what Winky and I will call The Great Fridge Raid Escapade. I latched onto the big slippery handle with my teeth creating some scratches and pulled with all my might to open the huge metal wall guarding what they hoard for themselves. I eventually succeeded and jumped up into the fridge grabbing my favorite snack,Carrots. I ripped the bag open and ate them all as fast I could leaving bits of plastic on the floor and creating a mess. I decided to try some more exotic foods such as a leafy thing titled Kale, note to self NEVER EAT AGAIN, Chocolate sauce and peanut butter. I think I still have a tummy ache still from the food I ate.

For my slide, I decided to make my visual theme black and white with a textured background. The use of empty space as well as the rule of thirds are apparent in this representation of myself. I didn’t choose to add contrast because I didn’t want to disrupt the color scheme, and decided it didn’t really need it. I made my name black to be stark in front of the white background so people’s eyes would be drawn to it.

The point of my slide being black and white was because those are colors that I really enjoy. Also, the black represents everything I bottle up inside, and the white is the smiling face people see. I’ve held inside for years the stress of people stepping on me, being homeless, my parents going through divorce, many losses in my family, etc. Of course you can’t see all of that through an artistic background and a couple music notes, but that’s what it means to me.

Also, the ¾ of the slide that’s white doesn’t just have one meaning. This is where the music notes come into play. I use music to heal myself. I sing, song-write, dance, choreograph, etc. Those things help me turn any problems that I encounter into something that I love to do. If I’m not making music, I’m being an introvert and listening to it.

When I get older and establish my musical career, I want to help others through my music or make music people can relate to. From there I would want to either create a charity of my own or donate to many different charities. This is why the black line that continues out on the white side of the slide is more calm as opposed to the chaotic white, grey, and black that are on the middle of the line that divides the white and black.

(Tommy Smithson stands in the darkened parlor of his parents’ house. It is 1916.)

I don’t know what to do. I’ve already seen too many of my old buddies go off to France, off to Flanders, and come back home in boxes made of wood. I’ve heard the stories of the carnage in the trenches, and I don’t want it. It makes me bloody nauseous. But here I am, standing in my parent's’ living room, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the darkness of war, in 1916, not even independent enough to live by myself...

I should probably run away. Yeah, that’s the ticket, away from the poppies and towards the moors...I’ll live like a savage! I mean, the war itself is already so barbaric, it’s just the same thing! You know what-I’ll go right up to that man in khaki at the draft office, look him straight in the eye, stand toe to toe with the bugger, and...and…

...And I will just go to the war like the rest of them. If I dodge this one, they’ll find them. They’ll haul my arse away to jail in an instant. I can see it now, right at the top of the Sunday Times, “Tommy Smithson, scion of Kent millionaires, arrested because he chickened out of his duty to his country…”

And they said war was fun! You get to buddy up with your boys, they’ll be your friends forever...all of the mademoiselles down there, you’re bound to find a pretty one...and most importantly, you’ll get to stick it to Jerry! You’ll kick the hun right where it hurts! Yeah, we’ll have the Kaiser quaking in his boots! Yeah! Of course, of course, I could...I could...die…

Why can’t things be the way they were before the war? Summer was endless then. It was always mild, everything was quiet. Garden parties lasted long into the night. We ruled the waves, we ruled the world! When I was a boy...oh, that seems so long ago now...I had no cares. All of the wars were far away, in the Transvaal, in the streets of Peking....not right next door! I could romp happily in the yard, climb up the tree, crawl around the nursery, entertaining my little sister…(he starts to cry)

Uncle, I know you can’t hear me. You’re too old to go to the war. You shielded me from this, told the draft board that “he’s too young”, “he’s valuable to the family”, “he has more money than Lloyd’s of London”. Of course, my parents said for me to go, to be a man, to stop shirking my patriotic duty. Mum said, “Tommy, this is for your country. If you don’t go, then we’ll have rows of kraut soldiers in the streets, in the towns, raping our women and killing our children. I don’t know why your uncle coddles you like this…”

They beat him down...those bloody monsters known as my parents brainwashed the bugger. My uncle, he should have protected me. But he went and told the man at the local draft board to sign me up. Dragged me over. Gave me a hideous khaki uniform, a helmet, and a rifle. (Picks up the helmet).

You know, I wonder...maybe there’s a man just like me, over in Germany, and he’s twenty-one, and he’s pampered, and he doesn’t want to go to fight country. He’s just like me. He’s an accidental traitor.

Oh, he loves this country...this...this...Fritz. Yeah, his name is Fritz. Fritz loves the rolling hills and lovely people and busy towns of his country. He just doesn’t love his nation’s generals, that’s all. He despises his generals, full of useless pomp and sparking medals on their chests, only there to commemorate how many men they’ve killed.

(He pauses. Tommy breathes for a moment, puts the helmet down, and sits on his bed.)

But I really have no choice, do I? I’m just bargaining with myself. Trying to buy a little bit of time when I don’t have any. I can hear the machine gun fire already. I can feel the mud and the muck up to my knees. And then I go over the top, and I hear the boom of the cannonfire and I see  the fiery eyes of the hun…

Before he died in the fields of Flanders, my friend Jonathan sent me a letter. He told me the one thing war taught him. He said that, at night, he could hear the moans and whines of Jerry over the muddy expanses between the trenches. He said he saw those German bodies, right next to the British bodies. And he said they’re all the same. Both cold, both stiff, both with eyes shut.

(Sigh)

I think I know where I’m going tomorrow…

(He puts his head in his hands. The lights slowly dim)

Musical Moment

(Sits down in studio)
Timing isn’t everything, but everything takes time. That’s what I tell myself.  My girlfriend.  My friends.  I know I don’t keep all my promises, but I can’t if I’m being forced to make these promises.  They are not legitimate if I’m not into them.  Does this mean these people I hold closely in my life are not actually my priority?  Is that how I can tell what is most important to me, by seeing what I choose when I am scared to consciously make the decision.  This music business has been the longest process of my life.  It has been the ride of my life.  And even now, after I thought I had made it over the big hump, where people I thought were friends seemed ashamed of what i did, I now realize that hate is part of everyone’s life, and that overcoming that made me strong for this decision, which is turly my largest struggle on this path.  

This record deal could change my life.  Do I want it to.  Could letting this go destroy all I have strived for.  I have persevered through so much.  I can’t have sacrificed how I felt all this time, just to blow off an opportunity when it finally, finally, comes.  I find myself when I am in music.  But maybe I’m not just finding myself, but I’m losing others.  Losing the love of my life.  I don’t even know what the outcome of either choice will be.  Do I go back to school?  See all my friends.  The team who has stuck with me up until this point.  The girl I have loved like no other.  Or do I follow my dream.  I could be rich, and famous too, doing what I love.  

But if it means not being with the people I love too, then I truly don’t know how it will feel.  I remember sitting in this spot, rapping and vibing with my friends.  My best friend Jake, who I haven’t talked to in a week because I’ve been locked up in this room, and not picking up my phone.  I remember he played a beat.  It was the instrumental to a Hopsin's song.  I remember the beat dropped, and I started spitting, and I felt so powerful, everyone in the room glued to every rhyme.  It was with them that I got into rap.  It is them that told me how good I was, and that kept me going.  Without them, I don’t even know if I like music.  And I don’t know if they will follow me any farther if I don’t come back this semester.  I fear I’ll get what I want and not what I need.  Ugh, more texts.  (checks phone to see texts from Jake and Bae asking him about plans).  I want to get in my zone, but I’m too distracted.

I wish I had guidance now.  My music has always guided me.  Maybe that’s what I need right now.  The way I truly feel will be exposed through my words when I rap.

*Sets up studio quickly to rap*

*Music plays for a moment while Josh vibes*

All this rapping I’m doing I hope you all follow, cause without the one’s I started with inside I’d feel hollow, leaving me would make it hard for me to swallow, cause even though this rap stuff is all that’s on my mind, leaving, I don’t want to leave these relationships on the line, cause I don’t talk to my family cause they don’t understand a thing, they don’t see that I’m just trynna reach my damn reach.  Still, I never want to stop riding with you girl, and you too Jake.  I used to not know the difference between the real and the fake, but then I found some real people and now I have no need to use the brake.  

(Takes off headset)

I know now.  I need to follow my the dream of my life.  People come and go, but I will not change.  I used to write lyrics hoping to bring people along.  But I know now that if I let go and write exactly how I feel, that’s how I will get the most people to follow me, and how I will create loyalty.  And I hope they follow me too, but if not, it was a good ride, but I had to make a turn eventually, to get to where I want to be.

(Shaking in seat, waiting for fight to start.) Aw yeah, the Undertaker is going down tonight! Don’t cha’ think man? (Motions to the random person next to him) Um, you think the Undertaker is going to beat him? Listen, I know we just met, but I need to say: In. Your. Dreams, pal. I bet money on this. I should know that he is going dow- Wait! That’s the announcer. Yes, it’s starting! And there’s the Undertaker. Look at him, man. He looks weak. And there he is. The man that’s gonna make me rich. AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA (theme music ensues). Heck yeah! Now look at him. That guy is a beast. His moves are so swift and powerful, he’s gonna take down the Undertaker in no time and conquer this steel cage match! What do you mean no? Look. At. Him. The Undertaker has no chance. I’d bet you $500 that the Undertaker won’t even last one minute in that cage if I didn’t already bet my brother. Matter of fact, I’ll bet you anyway. $500, on the table right now that John Cena wins. Oh, you actually wanna do this? Alright then, we’ll leave the money right here. Just know that you’re pretty much out $500. There is no way John Cena is gonna get beat. He- Wait. That’s the bell! Ok man, I hope you’re ready to lose 500 bucks ‘cause John Cena is going to town! (Watches fight begin. Looks around sporadically) Aw yeah! Bang! Boom! Right in the kidneys! (Begins to look only at person next to him) Dude, you can’t honestly tell me that the Undertaker can take him down. Look at that. The guy can’t even touch him let alone defeat him. I’ll just be taking this now then...Dude, why you hanging on me? What do you mean look now? Why is John on the floor? Why is the Undertaker on the ropes? He’s not gonna…(Looks up slowly and then down quickly. Horrified expression. Whispers) Body slam…(Normal Voice) Oh no. (Looks off into distance. Keeps looking off into the distance before he says every number) 1 No. No, no, no. 2 No, John. Come on. 3 John please. Get up! 4 No! Come on. 5 Cena! Get! Up! 6 Dude, come on! I bet money on you! 7 I have a family. I gotta feed them. 8 You can’t do this to me John! 9 (Elongated yelling) Cena! 10 K...O... (Looks over to guy) Just take the money and leave me, man. I just need to sit here...for a minute. How could he lose? I bet all of my life savings on that fight. Dang...Well, at least I can catch the Floyd and Mayweather fight. (Walks off stage)

“ I have some good news to tell you .. “ ( Laughs nervously ) “ Well, hopefully it’s good news to you.. but today I .. I went to the doctors and they told me .. they told me I was pregnant. We are going to have a ba-” ( Face turns into utter despair ) “ Wha - what? It’s not yours? Tyrek, yes it is. You’re the only one I’ve ever laid down with. How could you say something like that? “ I’m keeping this baby, I’m loving it already and you’ll learn to love it too.” “ Don’t say that Tyrek! How could you just walk out on something so precious?” “ It is precious, you’re such an asshole. You’re just like you’re father, he left you and now you’re leaving your child. ( Actor says this forcefully ) It needs you just as much as it needs me ! I cannot do this alone, I need you to be here for me! Can’t you see that you’re everything to me.. to us.. to the baby.” “ Don’t you walk away from this, don’t you leave me here alone.” “ Tyrek ! Tyrek, where are you going.. Tyrek .. “ ( He leaves although he was never on the stage)

( Actor sobs ) I know , I know he had other girls and I wasn’t the only one .. but I was in love. I was blinded by the gifts he gave me, the love I thought we shared and the sex.. and I forced myself to believe he could be with me, and only me. I thought maybe, maybe this child could fill the void he had with me. I thought maybe if I gave him something, to love and to care for he would see that I wasn’t like everyone else, every other girl “loved” him because he had money, and flashy cars.  He was in the streets so he was going to give them the “ hood” love every girl craved..  I loved him for more than just the material things, I loved him because he had a sweet side, where he showed affection beyond compare , ( sort of start angrily rambling here ) where he told me he loved me too and now he’s leaving me here, without any help, any guidance.. and he knows I can’t take care of this baby alone, he’s know I’ll suffer without him !

( speaking to self) Calm down , calm down.. cause you don’t need him. You don’t need that no good ass nigga, who is leaving you and your baby for dead. I will get through this by myself, I do not need that tall, dark, buff and handsome man … Wait no what am I doing, I have to get over him, I just have too. ( Leaves the stage)