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Our entire lives we’ve been told that we need to find our own identity and that all of our identities are unique. We always have heard identity as being a single thing, either you’re a boy or a girl, you’re an immigrant or citizen, many of the things we identify usually only connect to one idea. In this way no one really is unique. What makes every single person unique is the fact that every person has different layers to their identity that are more than the surface presents. Identity is a complex topic that can’t be summed up by one phrase.

In the book the Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald,  Jay Gatsby is a young man trying to win over his former love with extravagant parties and boasting his money. He tries to stand out as much as possible, yet no one even knows who the real Jay Gatsby is. “I suppose he'd had the name ready for a long time, even then. His parents were shiftless and unsuccessful farm people – his imagination had never really accepted them as his parents at all.” This quotes shows that Gatsby is trying to be known only through one piece of his identity. He wants to be known as the Oxford man, who is now very wealthy but, fails to realize that under the top layer of this identity there is more. The fact that he grew up on a farm and that his family was very poor, the fact that he does not make his money in the most respectable way. These are things that were ignored by Gatsby the entire story because he was so stuck on keeping this one idea for his identity, when in reality everyone has multiple layers to who they are.  

In the movie “Beasts of the Southern Wild,” a girl named Hushpuppy is living in the bathtub with her father. Due to icebergs and global warming the government is trying to evacuate the bathtub. This leads to Hushpuppy and her father being taken by the government and taken to a shelter. After being taken to the shelter Hushpuppy says, “I’m recording my story for the scientists in the future.” Hushpuppy unlike Gatsby realizes that there are different levels to her identity. Although she was raised in an environment that is completely different from the modern United States, she still acknowledges that they are apart of the reason she grew up the way she did, unlike Gatsby who completely ignores his past and only wants people to see one layer of his life, Hushpuppy is recording her entire life for the scientists so that they have a clear picture of the different layers of her identity.

“Don’t talk when we get inside, I don’t want them to know we’re not from around here. They’ll give us the discount if they think we live here.” We were waiting in the lobby, we wanted to go waterfall jumping. All of the male employees had buzz cuts, and close to no facial hair. I stood leaning against a wall, my hair grown out long enough to tie it back into a bun, and almost a full beard. I didn’t look anything like any of these men, and I felt their eyes glued on me every time as they walked past. They could tell I was Dominican like them but that my style said something different about me.  For the first time in my life I questioned my Dominican authenticity. I understand why she would tell my brother not to speak, he didn’t even speak spanish, but what was so different between me and them. I realized that giving off the impression that we were “authentic” and “regular” would work better in our favor. Saying that I only identify as a Dominican male would be wrong, as that is only one part of my identity, and in this case it was the identity that would work best in our favor, but I am more than just that. I had to accept the fact that I am also an American child and that it’s apart of who I am and how I should identify. We have different layers so that we can change based on our situation, we shouldn’t only be defined by one part of our identity.

People only tend to scrape the top layer when they are talking about their identity, and it’s because they only ever decided to identify with that top layer. Identity is more complex than just saying you are one thing or another, identity is made up of several pieces that fit together like a puzzle to make every single person unique.  Everyone can use the different layers of their identity depending on their situation. We saw Hushpuppy recognize the different layers of her identity in “Beasts of the Southern Wild” being stuck between the Bathtub and the modern US. I realized that part of my identity would disadvantage me in DR and I would need to hide that part. All of us have layered identities, it’s up to us if we want to start using all the layers.

Personally, identity was not something I had decided to question myself until my transition to highs chool. It was not a subject that consistently came up, or had thought about since I felt comfort within myself as a person. This led me to assume that my whole being and values were set, that there was no need for any improvement since I thought that there was nothing much to improve on. I moved often prior to entering high school and because of this, I was able to witness different experiences and learn about the lives of various people. Through these encounters,  I too was able to question myself and who I considered myself to be.

I could remember the beautiful paintings made by my classmates that hung on the hallways as I walked by them to enter the classroom where my friend gestured me to come. She was going to tell me about something very important, and when she did, all I could respond was “what does bi mean?” When I said that in response she was neither shocked nor dumbfounded because she knew the kind of household that I grew up in.

After my friend discussed with me about her sexuality, I began to wonder about myself. My family never really told me what being gay was, and this resulted me to have the lack of knowledge to understand a part of myself. Maya Salam, the writer of an article titled, They Challenged the Status Quo said, “Truth is, I’ve had to fight my whole life because of who I am, who I love and where I started.” In this quote the author expresses her emotions of the process that she went through to understand herself. Throughout her life she had struggles of trying to comprehend herself as a person who is gay. Being bisexual myself, I also struggled with understanding my identity, which led me to eventually fear it. Admitting my identity when it was still an ambiguous blob made me more malleable, in which resulted in unsure changes about myself.

In my time spent in California, I realized that, compared to before, I had a new understanding of myself. As I often went out in California and socialized with a multitude of people, I realized how privileged I was as a person to have the time to figure myself out. However, meeting people is not the same is understanding their individual experiences. I mistook certain things and assumed others to be something they were not while forming generalized  ideas of who they were. I learned that attempting to comprehend others distracted me from paying attention to my own identity, but learning from others is not unfavorable. Perhaps if I had my own sense of self and values to begin with, I could have learned from others the way that parents teach their children.

In the Great Gatsby, Nick Carraway discusses about his relationship with his father. He says an important life lesson that his father shared with him. “Whenever you feel like criticising anyone,  he told me, just remember everyone in the world hasn't had the same advantages as you.” Fitzgerald says this in his book to express that he felt inclined to keep all judgements about others. I can connect to this in the sense that not everyone is going to have a complete understanding of someone else no matter how one will try to understand. Before assuming   the identity of others, it is crucial to remember that others have a different life from your own. It is complicated to fathom a life experience other than the one you have now. No matter how many times someone says to “put yourself into someone else's shoes,” what extent can you actually understand another human being when the advantages that each person has in life is different?

Since I believe in some cases that people shape others to be who they are there is always something new to learn about yourself. Identity is not set because sometimes there is always a new aspect of yourself that you learn, because identity can often alter depending on the situation or environment you are in. Back then I never questioned myself since there were terms that I never knew, but through people I was able to be more knowledgeable; to take pieces of others and use that to shape myself. In the end, however, it was quite risky to do that because you can distract yourself from your own identity, but it is not an imperfect thing, only because we are affected by others constantly.

Introduction: The purpose of this essay is to explain the preset mold people get throughout their life and how to handle it. Something I'm proud about with my essay is my scene of memory because it was a big shift in my life in becoming who I am. I would want to improve my writing process by connecting with my sources more.

My life did a lot of molding as I have grown into the person I am today. I think this is true for a lot of people, no matter how much someone will try to control the image of what you’re supposed to be based on gender and race. This image is mostly made from what they’ve experienced from people similar to you.  It can make you think differently of yourself and change how you decide to carry on in the outside world.

The movie Beast of the Southern Wild touches on a topic of identity and what you’re supposed to be. The movie explored the relationship between the main character Hushpuppy, who was a young wild girl, and her father, who was stern and complicated.  You also see the way she was raised throughout the film. At one point, there was a scene where we heard Hushpuppy’s inner thoughts and she stated, “It wasn’t no time to be a bunch of pu*****.” This was a mindset she learned from her father in the Bathtub, which is where she lived. The dynamic switches between her identity of being a “girl” and who she was raised to be because it’s always believed that boys are supposed to get that type of upbringing. So in the eyes of the viewer, this challenges the idea that only the boys are supposed to be in the “no crying” mindset while growing up but we see that in some ways, it depends on a person’s environment too.

When I was around 9 years old, I played on a basketball team. I never took it seriously because I never had a reason to. My parents always put the idea in my head that sports are just for fun. The thing is I was a very sore loser at that age and at one of my games, we lost in a way that didn’t make any sense to me. It was the last seconds of the game. Everyone was screaming and cheering because we were down by two points. I drove to the paint and went up for a layup and took a hard foul. I hit the ground so hard and all I saw was red when I didn’t hear a whistle for a foul. I screamed in frustration and shortly stormed off the court and started to cry. My dad ran after me. He told me in a strong tone, “Don’t ever act like that again, men don’t cry. He said you’re acting like a girl.” I heard “men don’t cry” a lot so when he said it, I didn’t think much of it. I just wiped my tears and went back to the court. As I got older, I never really found myself to share my emotions at all. It was hard for me to feel the urge to cry in certain situations where my family was crying. I had the mindset that I had to be strong for everyone else around me because that’s the image that was always pushed onto me to be a man.

These images of what you’re supposed to be can stem from other people other than your guardian. In the book Lies That Bind by Kwame Anthony Appiah other people made assumptions about him based on his race and appearance. When talking about places he had traveled, he said, “Colored” person; in Rome, for an Ethiopian; and one London cabbie refused to believe I didn’t speak Hindi.” This quote shows that  there will always be an image of what you should be in other people’s eyes simply based off of looks. If you reject these expectations, you could miss out on opportunities in life because of you not wanting to be something you’re not. People could also begin to dislike you if you don’t live up to their expectations that they get from other people of your race or gender. In the long run, you should always stay true to yourself.

Having a parent mold your upbringing or having someone having a preset mold of who you are from your looks aren’t always bad things. You could use these expectations to better yourself or you could break these expectations to create a better image of yourself. Race and gender are important to me because they’re factors of the person I am today. Before anything, I will always be identified as an African-American male. From the way my father raised me to the way, people see me outside are all things I appreciate because they made me who I am today and will continue to make me me.

When growing up with advanced technology and having many social media platforms we tend to lose who we truly are, to act like somebody we are not,or to be “known”. For example, we tend to follow the trends that are out and download the new apps that are most popular to feel included. It's all about trying to be relevant in the social media eye. This usually is called Dissociation because we change our actions, the way we react to certain incidents to seem cool or relatable  even though deep down you are not that type of individual. This isn’t only with social media, the society tends to be our #1 judge when it's time for us to be our authentic selves. We are so afraid to show who we really are, that we enter a state of depression or feel very comfortable in bad situations.

When researching double life in a homosexual perspective I found a website, “The psychological issues of being in and out the closet” by Jack Drescher. He discusses   of gay men and women, periods of difficulty in acknowledging their homosexuality, either to themselves or to others, and how it can lead to depression and anxiety. In the article it states:“Through dissociation of anxiety-provoking knowledge about the self,  whole double life can be lived and yet, in some ways, not be known.”  Dissociation tends to be very common when an individual starts to recognize they are different sexuality wise than people around them. Which is when double life starts to occur or even before, they act like a totally different person with a group of friends than how they are with themselves. This supports my stance on how society views affect the way we tend to see and feel about ourselves. We like to use double living as an escape from who we  truly are. I believe it's somewhat an escape route from discovery because on social media or in person we are viewed by how we interact and dress. In order to not be seen as gay, some men dress boyish and some women will throw on earrings even though they don't like them. This connects to me in many ways because growing up I would try different to find “boy-ish” looks that were in style so I can just blend in with the trends even though I didn't feel comfortable.  is the life of a trapped dog in a house. The dog nature is to be free and breathe but since it is stuck in the house all day, it will become very bored and depressed that it will either submit or find another way to get a glimpse of a fun day. This connects to my first point because we aren't able to be who we are because we are scared to be judged so we either stay hidden or break free and be prideful.

While reading through this article it made me remember I was placed in a similar situation living double lives during middle school when I soon realized I was different. I was placed in a situation where I had to act and dress like a man “should” because I wanted to fit in. As a new school day started I walked out my house and checked myself out in the mirror to see if Iooked boyish. My outfit always consists of loose jeans because most guys in my school wear loose jeans because skinny jeans  are viewed to be feminine.

“You look fine, no worries” I would say to myself because I don't want them to find anything suspicious that connects to me being gay.

Once I lock my door I check my block to make sure nobody is out so I can walk alone. I walk and walk until I am half way and fix the sway in my hips until I hear,

“Yo Lando you forgot to pick me up. Aren’t we supposed to be homies?” a friend, but not really named Justin says.

“ I totally forgot,” I respond.

“What was you doing? Trying to fix your walking style?” Justin asks curiously.

“Nah,” I said lying. I was starting to lightly panic because we would make fun of Nathan a guy who didn't care about fitting in that walked like a girl.  At this moment I lived by what people viewed me as which is why I changed the way I dressed and walked because I didn't want people to think I was gay. Yes, it wasn't something I enjoyed because I am very prideful and interactive but that was usually how females were perceived as, so I had act all tough and unsentimental just like a guy is stereotyped to be like. Which is why it connects to how our society tends to make us live by morals that aren't ours in order to fit in or not be judged.

The idea that I had to change my appearance and interactions connects to what Faulkner wrote about masculinity and femininity:“Cultural notions of “feminine” and “masculine” behavior are shaped in part by observations about what women and men do. This kind of ‘gender marking’ tends to discourage women or men from entering “gender-inauthentic” occupations.” Gender marking tends to discourage males and females who decide to work a “masc” or “fem” profession because as years go on many young men and women will look as professionals as if they have a gender tied to it so they feel they aren’t good enough or the men / women working in the dominated field will be made fun of. For example if a women wants to work as a construction worker men will doubt she is capable with leading or lifting heavy object only a man can. This makes her very insecure and wanting to leave because she isn't accepted. This connects to the scene of memory because I had to change the way I acted because they would consider me to be feminine and will probably stop hanging with me to then just bully me like they did to Nathan.

There’s always a standard for men and women to meet; there are always going to be roadblocks ahead. These roadblocks are specific to one’s gender, and we feel pressure to succumb to these challenges to our true identities. However, when we change ourselves to match the gender expectations, we lose a part of our true selves.

In order to demonstrate our understanding of the play Macbeth, we chose to create a mockumentary-type film, following the efforts of the yearbook committee as they interviewed the students of their school.  These students were all characters from Macbeth, and the project thus allowed us to take a deeper look at the characters themselves. By including the interviews, we were not only able to reflect the soliloquies and such from the play, but it also allowed us to predict what the characters would have been like in a modern school environment. This demonstrated our understanding of the text and the characters as we had to mold the speech, the actions, and even the body language of those in the film based off of the play. We also created a few yearbook pages to reflect the video and the characters. The yearbook depicts the graduating class of 1022, which is both a reference to the year that we will graduate, 2022, but would also have been the year that the characters would have been seventeen or eighteen years old. In addition, on each of the pages, we chose to add a small symbol that would represent each character. For instance, for Banquo’s page, a ghost was added. This is both echoing the supernatural theme throughout the play, but is also due to Banquo’s presence as a ghost that haunts Macbeth. We also picked quotes from the text for the majority of the characters, to show the reasoning behind the selected character traits.

The purpose of this project was to take a closer look at the characters in Macbeth, and to use the text to apply their characters to a more relatable setting. The film follows the work of the Scotland High yearbook committee. In order to gather the information needed to create the yearbook, they conduct a series of interviews on all the students of the school. The yearbook is a compilation of the information gathered in the interviews. It not only records the information gathered, but also provides a deeper look into what their personality is meant to be like, and shows some of the evidence supporting these conclusions is from in the quotes.

Here is our video: Scotland High

Here is a link to Iris's page (My project partner)

Social Class In the Classroom

Part of growing up is finding where you belong amongst the people around you. Many children experience this first through school. As a child, most of the time you are categorized in a classroom by your social class. Once you get to a certain age, the other kids around you begin to realize where your from and whether your family comes from money or not. Then, for many people, you get judged for having, or not having money like the other children around you. I had this experience in grade school. Many of the children around me were much wealthier than I was and it definitely affect the way I learned in the environment. Teachers often tend to tune out when it comes to social class even though small things like these can powerfully impact a young person’s life.

In many instances, we see people push aside social class as an issue in classroom scenarios. Race and religion are the main focus of many people’s concerns with equality in the classroom. In an article written by Adj Marshal, he discusses the effect of bringing social class into the classroom and touches on how the weight of this on children is sometimes overlooked. He says, “Compared with race or gender, class is less obviously inscribed on the body and more poorly understood, with more gray areas and fewer shared terms for social categories, making identity development a slower and more fraught process.” In many cases social class is a large part of a child’s identity, so not making it a larger part of the discussion in the classroom, like Marshall says, it could potentially damage a child’s image of themself.

Personally, I have had social class affect me negatively in a classroom environment. I was in the second grade when I realized my peers were not raised the same way I was. I attended a private school on a partial scholarship while my mom had to scrape pennies to pay the other end of my tuition. Meanwhile, many of my classmates never had to worry about not being able to go to school the next month because their parents couldn’t meet the tuition deadline, or if they would be able to pay for the newest pair of uniform shoes.  They took these things for granted. The day after after winter break I walked into class wearing my new winter coat that my mom had just bought me for Christmas. All of the other children were sitting playing on their new Nintendo DSI’s that they had received over the break. One of the kids asked, “Louisa, where is your DSI? Don’t you wanna play with us?” I didn’t know how to reply at first. As the nervousness settled into me, I said, “I didn’t get one for Christmas, I got this new coat instead.” Just as I could get the words out of my mouth another kid said, “She didn’t get one because she’s poor.” Immediately, the tears streamed to my eyes. The feeling of shame and embarrassment welled through me as the other kids just stared.

This is an important point to be noted not only because the children used this as a form of bullying, but because it made me feel uncomfortable to participate in the class. Social class is much more important than it is viewed as by most teachers. In an article on social class in the classroom, written by journalist Meghan Smith, she discusses a series of tests performed on a class of children to prove the effect of social and economical class on children. When discussing the results of one of the tests she says, “This can lead to students in lower social classes, or with lower familiarity with a task, to perform even worse than they would have. In other words, highlighting performance gaps with no explanation for the gap can make the gap even wider!” The gap she refers to is that of the gap between children in different social classes. Even though children don’t quite understand what kind of stress and embarrassment child of a lower class feels.

Even though social class is generally looked over now, in the future teachers should be more aware and even create an approach to avoid tension in the classroom. A good solution may be to begin teaching children about social and economic classes from a younger age so that they will have the information they need before they judge someone.  Teaching young children about social class could also allow them to view the world around them in different ways and avoid them creating future prejudices. Social class is something that causes children to learn differently and feel uncomfortable in some learning environments, but it never should be. My hope for the future is that someone will break the chain, so that children will never have to feel too embarrassed to learn.

Introduction:

The purpose of my essay is to connect my own personal scene of memory with an outside source. I chose to write about this topic so I can be able advise Muslim girls that we can be able to fit into society and become successful like everyone else. I am proud of my quote analysis because I related it to myself. I followed a format taught in class which helped me to improve. From writing this essay I learned many new creative techniques; how to analyze quotes, and how to connect with outside sources. I want to improve my essay by being more descriptive and by focusing more on a specific event.

Hijab, is something that most Americans had questions about. Everyone would ask me what is the hijab, why do you wear it, what is the purpose. I loved answering these questions because being able to explain  the significance of this headscarf made me feel proud. On the other hand, there were always ignorant people that were rude and asked me, “Do you even have hair under that? How are you not hot?” Different emotions would run in and out of my head. As I put on a fake cheerful smile on my face hiding all the anger,  I would take a deep breath and be respectful like what my mother taught me and I answer, “I wear this for god not to cover my bald head. In fact, I have a lot of natural, real, long, thick hair.” I would always describe what my hair looks to give them a visual picture of it

Most people would sit there in shock. I loved leaving people shocked and I loved emphasizing how real and natural my hair is. The satisfaction inside of me felt surreal. If only people understood what the hijab represented. I would keep asking myself, why couldn’t it be taught in schools these people need to understand and respect other people’s culture. “Forget Samera you teach them,” I told myself. I tried to remove this envy inside of me and started to thoroughly and passionately explain to them about my hijab, what it represent, how this is who I am, and I love it, instead of bragging about my hair. By doing this brought light into my heart and slowly turned my fake smile into real emotion.

These kinds of questions most frequently happened in school. The school was the hardest place for me to find a way to fit in. I’ve always asked myself why is this so difficult. My personality isn’t bad, I am a nice person. As the years passed by my knowledge started to grow. I started to realize why people would rather be around other girls than a hijabi Muslim. It had nothing to do with my personality, it was all about my identity, the stereotypes, what people saw first, my hijab.

In 7th grade, during history class, I was told that I’m going to be a terrorist when I grow up. I didn’t say anything to stand up for myself. The pain from hearing those words caused me to have a breakdown in class. When your fellow classmate says negative comments to you about your identity makes you feel bad about who you are. It made me lose hope in becoming a doctor, I started to think well now it just looks like I am going to be an ordinary housewife nothing more than that.

Another time was when I was in the park. I was with my siblings when a lady burst out of nowhere and yelled, “go back to your country.” The anger built up inside me and I just wanted to yell, “how the hell am I supposed to go back if I am already in my country.” Instead, I stayed calm and ignored but deep down my siblings and I were terrified. These words that were said to me caused me a lot of emotional and mental pain. It made me realize that I am nothing in this country people would never acknowledge my success because of my religious background.

Being a Muslim woman in America is extremely difficult. This is because the society and the media have built these hateful stereotypes. For example, Muslims are known to be terrorists, women are trapped and are meant to be in the kitchen. This causes young students emotional pain. Not just me but everyone. People set low expectations for us, gives us fewer opportunities to become the best. Societies expectations and negativity not only shut us down from great success but also affects us personally. Most Muslim women who want to be successful are afraid to be judged by society.

Halima Aden, the first hijab-wearing fashion model, explains in a Ted Talk about not being afraid to make herself visible: “It’s about using yourself as a vessel to create change and being a human representation for the power of diversity.” The significant idea Halima demonstrates about taking risks and changes and how this is what being a minority is about. Putting yourself out there making a change is a way to make a difference in society.  This quote exemplifies that the hijab isn’t just a piece of clothing that stops Muslim girls to become something successful. It is a way for me to show other people that I am more than just a regular Muslim girl that won’t be able to do anything in life. I am someone just like everyone else; achieving dreams and exceeding societies expectations that are set for me.

It all started to grow in me and affected me. Not being able to fit in, being pushed around because I am a small Muslim girl. Negativity surrounded my head. I’ve started to follow people’s footsteps to satisfy myself and them. It wasn’t just the hijab stopping me it was also the stereotypes that people used that stopped themselves from getting to know me.

Amal Kassir, a Muslim pre-law student, explains in a Ted Talk about what society portrays of her: “On the news, it’s ISIS, Jihadi, suspect, radical, my name is could your Muslim neighbor be an extremist.” Amal explains how hard a Muslim woman works for success but at the end of the day to society think you are nothing. This is because of what the news, social media, and the society depict of Muslims. This quote exemplifies that society has a way to put Muslims down. The stereotypes toward us have had an effect on me

This society has a fixed mindset that Muslim Women are meant to “obey” men and are nothing more than housewives imprisoned in their home with children. Halima Aden and Amal Kassir are two role models that represent all Muslim Women. They proved to society that Muslim women are capable of being successful in life. They justify that we are just like everyone else and have a right to be able to step into the American society and carry on success and better change.  

All these negativity toward Muslims causes us to go down and think negatively. It puts us in the wrong mindset and makes us wonder, what is the point of even trying if others are always going to overpower us. I want to prove everyone wrong and show them hijabi Muslims are much more than what society has fixed for us.