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"Que Cera, Cera"

Well, since this is my first blog post, this may come off as more of a journal entry than a story so just bear with me.  yesterday was February 7th, a.k.a, Superbowl Sunday. Of corse there were parties to attend all over the city but i decided to go to one with my friends, the one being hosted by the girl ive had a crush on for a long time, but i'll get back to that.  Yesterday was not a day completely full of fun that i wish it had been.  A couple of days ago a dear friend of mine had fallen into a coma, and had not woken up since, and yesterday, he went completely brain dead and they ended up pulling the plug on him.  It was a heart breaking moment to have another friend snatched away from me so quickly.  

Good evening.
Do me a favour.
All eyes on me.
You had me at hello.
Please don't go.
Have faith in me.
All I want is you.
You were meant for me.
Wait,
Truth.
Somethin' bad.
Me, myself, and I
Cheated.
It's all over.
Me and you.
Am I going crazy?
Can't you feel the change?
Made to be together...
Miss me?
If it means a lot to you,
You will leave a mark.
Without you here
Trapped in my mind.
Unforgettable,
Unforgiven,
Unfortunate.
Perhaps vampires is a but strong but...
Phantom.
Sleep with one eye open.
People come, people go.
Show you how,
she makes dirty words sounds pretty.
The sadness will never end.
You should have killed me when you had the chance.

CHAPTER 1

My father is a supernatural creature. He feigns humanity, imitating those who surround him, and he does so quite well, if I may say so. It took me many years to first recognize the signs, ignorance and naivete shrouding me from his true nature.

Now before I delve into the particulars that led to my shocking realization, I must first let you know, Reader, that I do love the man and will continue to do so be him homosapien or something else. I cannot hold his natural form as a fault against his character, he is a swell man, pardon me, creature, to know.

To recommence the story of my "awakening", as it  has come to be called in certain semi-circles and octagons, my suspicions were first aroused by the cats. It started with one, a black cat who made a home for himself on our porch. He was quiet, refrained from eating my mother's flowers, and proved a wonderful neighbor. None of us in the house paid him any mind. By the next week there were four cats, varying in color and appearance and not nearly as quiet as the first tenant. The end of the month welcomed ten more. With such an inexplicable number of cats now living directly outside of my house, I started to search for a reason why. Initially I assumed that they were two opposing cat gangs who had moved onto the same turf and were recruiting members to prepare for the imminent gang war, as is always the case in such situations, but a few minutes of observation proved that theory false. These cats were waiting for something. For a moment I thought that someone in the house had taken to feeding our feline friends but my mother's dislike of cats, my indifference, my sister's disdain for full-grown animals, and my father's dog preference proved that an impossibility. This left but one other option in my always rational mind… magic. There must be something magical happening in my house, something otherworldly, something just waiting for me to discover it.
With this new tidbit of information, I began a new round of observations. I watched closely for when the cats appeared and to where they wandered. They arrived on our porch at night and circled the basement windows… the windows to my father's lair. This is when I knew whatever magical thing that was occurring in my house took place there and my father was involved. Cats  do not lie.

Hello Again, Holly Holy
If I had you, you learn
how it feels to fly
The joy you feel
twisted the saddest song I got
Wake up, Holly Holy
At the end of the day, be my friend
I go to extremes Holly Holy to make you feel my love
I'm not living in the real world
I am the walrus
You oughta know You're the star
You're the one
Let me be the one
I love you

If I had you girl.
So contagious.
So bad.
I can't lie I just want you.
This girl killing my heart.
I need your love, I must be dreaming.
I need a girl, yes, you girl.
It had to be you, right now, you & me.
Now that I found you, i fell in love. 
We stand together forever,
Truely, madly, deeply.
It's automatic, true affection.

I knew I couldnt trust you, wish I could forget you, emtpy inside, your all I have, let it go. True love, forever and always, not alone, always and never, forever in your hands. Cant be saved, no one cares, choke on this, one last kiss. Here's to the past, buried a lie, last to know, not for this world. A prohecy, shameful indictment.

Dear Old Nicki
If I die young
Give it away
Draw Me A Map
There's No Way out of Here
Sky's The Limit
A thousands Miles
Dreamer
Never Been
Were Done
No hands
Too Late
Love is All
Here I Am
18 and Life
Harder Than You know
Young Forever
I Still Remember
The World....

​

Until the day I die we give it all ready to fall under the knife for the world worth dying for. 
Try honesty smile like you mean it swing life away survive! In the end Heaven knows I feel fantastic After dark There is Daylight.

Today was the first day of my debate tournament that will be held in SLA at 3:30. Today consisted of writing a case in less then two hours to debate and finding out the rooms and judges for each team that will come. It is a particularly stressful day to be able to get everything done in time for the mini tournament that will be held on Tuesdays. This is part of my capstone and is a major step in creating more oppurtunities for students to debate. It will help everyone get prepared for the tournament next week at the Bell classic, which has teams from the state of Pennsylvania debating at all levels.

Tell me why the story of us can't go on. This is the new year! I'm yours, whatcha say? Only you make me happy. Please don't leave me. I am your biggest fan. I promise you, there is nothing, nothing left to lose. Don't give up- you are everything. I wannabe by your side forever. Marry me?

One night, when I had no sleep to brooklyn, I saw a sign that read, "Welcome to Paradise, Home to Jesus of Suburbia." Faithfully, my friends would Stand By Me with their 21 Guns. After a day or two in "Paradise" I told my friend Alejandro, I did not want to Comedown, because I felt like a Basket Case. Then, it Crashed Into Me I knew I had a Bad Romance because I was Thinkin' 'Bout Somethin' and All Of The Lights went off in the room, then went on a few hours later. About the third day, the Brass Monkey dropped off a letter in which I opened immediately. The letter started off like all of my letter's with Dear John. Soon after I read the letter, I wrote one back starting with, Hey There Delilah. In the letter I told her "to stay Just The Way You Are, because you know I would catch a Grenade for you, and When I Come Around the Paparazzi will be following me." But now that my dream is over, Its time to go Back To December.

Attention!
You might have noticed the fever swept away who I am.
I think I'm paranoid.
Walking with a ghost on my own.
Listen,
Time is running out!
Everything is alright.
All that I've got come undone.
White lines in between faces in disguise.
The end...
It's a disaster.
Sold my soul; no sign of life.
New perspective, good intentions, no sudden revelations.
Another day, you're not alone.
Turn it off!
We are broken.
Voices breathe in the mourning.

During Edu Con weekend a couple of my friends and I volunteered to help out and participate in the festivities. This picture represents the weekend in general and the good times that my friends and I had during the weekend. We were not only productive in terms of helping out during the weekend, but we also found time to bond with each other and have some fun.

​One day I was over zach's house playing video games. The game in particular was Fable 3 and I was playing as an evil ruler. My characters name was The Evil Blue Chicken King because I went around in a chicken suit that was dyed blue. I killed almost all of the villagers with my gun. It just so happened to be named the OrphanMaker9000. It was named that because kids can't die in this just their parents. To combat this I decided to build factories and repeal the child labor law so they all have to work there. I also turned the orphanage into a brothel to prevent further kids. Anyways after that I wanted to go to sleep and when I am over I use an air mattress, but the problem was that the batteries died in the pump. Keep in mind its like 4 in the morning and I am already delirious but I decide to try blowing it up myself and 1 and a half hours in and the bed isn't even 1/15 of the way there. Now I'm light-headed and angry and refuse to believe the batteries are messed it. 
"It must have been a tech issue" I said
So I called Evett and she didn't take the call too well.
"TEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCHHHHHH SSUUUPPPPOOOORRRRTTTT" I yelled in a zombie like groan.
"Anthony what the hell do you want its 4 in the morning"
"Evett the air mattress pump is broken I need tech support"
At that moment Evett hung up and Zach was angry that I had called someone but I wasn't satisfied I need support.....Badly. So I called my friend Cornelia and got the same greeting. At that point Zach took my phone from me and I passed out on the floor. Great night.

This is an original song I wrote:

I’m so lost in this place, caught in between what’s real and what’s fake. Can’t face reality it’s killing me inside, nothing left for me to do but say I tried. Oh why, can’t I?

 

I sit and wonder what to do when all I think about is you, I think you’ve got my mind made up.

I wish you’d show me something new after what you’ve put me through, I never knew this would be so tough.

 

Here’s where the block sets in, my stomach drops, my head is spinning, and you’re nowhere to be found.  

I’m getting dizzy, tired of thinking, sick of looking up and down, you got me runnin’ round and round.

 

And it’s so frustrating how you keep me waitin’ I don’t know what else to say, the same old shit just another day and it’s so confusing how you keep on using me, I’m waisting away.

 

I sit and wonder what to do when all I think about is you, I think you’ve got my mind made up.

I wish you’d show me something new after what you’ve put me through, I never knew this would be so tough.

 

So this past weekend I was out shopping with my mom and my sister. We went to Bed Bath & Beyond and ended up spending I dont even know how much on the most random stuff. I was kind of worried about the money so my mom was trying to make me feel better as we walked through the parking lot to our car. "It's okay Beth, we don't go shopping very often and we really didn't spend that much. Anyway, we got stuff we needed and some people spend twice as much money on stupid stuff like ugg boots that are UGGly." I smiled, humoring her and looked up to see that right in front of us was this lady walking with her boyfriend. She was wearing uggs. We all started busting up laughing at my mom. When we reached the car, we looked up and saw the lady had come back around and was yelling across the parking lot, cursing my mom out and waving her hands around like she'd never been so mad in her life. My mom just got in the car and we left but she was paranoid the whole day, thinking the lady was gonna stalk her in her car or something. Ah, the things you can laugh at your parents for.

​Sometimes senior year changes things. In the beginning of the year I spent my time after school with the same people everyday. Things happen, schoolwork becomes overwhelming, and my after school crowd changes. By the middle of the school year, my spreadsheet looks completely different. This is the tracking that I record every week for my statistics class. I record how long I stay after school, why I stay after school, who I hang out with, and who I leave with. It's the "Hang out" category that suffers such a tremendous change.  

Last year, I had the opportunity to travel to the Grand Canyon. I got to connect with some kids from my school and I also got to meet new people. At night we would sleep under the stars, camped out on the bank of the Colorado River; and during the day we would white water raft, taking occasional breaks to play a game of ninja.  It was a great trip; however, one day the rapids were unusually violent – tossing our paddle boats at will. My boat had the most experienced rowers, so we were able to maintain control, albeit while narrowly avoiding a large jagged rock in the middle of the river. However, the others weren’t so lucky. We looked up to see several of our classmates floating down the river. Luckily, we didn’t panic and we were able to get our classmates to safety, while rescuing the majority of our equipment that had gotten lost in the struggle.

Ok I feel like a lot of my stories will involve the escapades of my youngest brother, Dalton, and I. He's eight years old, in third grade, the spawn of Satan and Spiderman and my best friend. 

I work at the Mütter Museum, and most weekends I'm there giving tours. Well, last weekend, Dalton decided he wanted to come with me because he loves the museum. This particular time I was giving a tour to a group of adult students. Dalton tagged along for the actual tour rather than wandering the place himself, and he had much of the tour memorized, well, as memorized as his eight year old mind could understand. 

We got to one of his favorite exhibits, the "Megacolon", which is a ridiculously huge distended colon taken from a man who suffered from a condition called Congenital Aganglionic Megacolon, or Hirschsprung's Disease. This is basically a section of colon that has no working nerve endings, causing chronic constipation and an accumulation of waste that cannot be naturally excreted by the body.

 Anyway, I mentioned that the specimen we had on display was a "biological specimen", and that it was the original colon casing and was now stuffed with straw. Dalton had been politely quiet until this point, where he cut in and turned to address the crowd of adults surrounding him. He said, with a perfectly straight face "Yes, it is now full of straw, however, originally, it was full of poo." 

How he managed to say this in such a serious tone with a straight face and not dissolve into laughter, (he is eight after all) is beyond me, but it's just one of many reasons why he's great, and I think he might have to come to more of my tours to add in his own anecdotes. 

Ryan Shaw

He looks so familiar.


I feel like I knew him a long time ago
But it can’t be him…
Just smile.
“How can I help you sir?”

“I’ll have a cup of coffee baby,
Make it black for me.”

“Sure thing.”

“You know doll,
you look real familiar.
You wouldn’t happen to be
Casey’s daughter, would you?"

Oh shit, oh fuck.
It is him.
“Um I think…
You have the wrong person.” 

“No it is you. Amelia right?
And that’s your uncle that just left?
This is his store.”

Shit, what do I do…
“Oh um yea.”
Really, you couldn’t think of
Anything other than “oh um yea?”

“How’s your mom?
It’s been a long time.
And you. You’ve grown well.
Very well. You remember me?
Don’t you Amy?
Nick, your mom’s ex."

“Oh, um yea.”
Again really.
Wide vocab you got there! 

“Ha, so how much I owe you?”

Hmm. 
A new childhood would be nice.
One where you weren't there.
One that didn't hurt so much.
Mentally.
Physically.
“Don’t worry about it,
On the house.”

“Hey thanks sweetie,”
He walked out,
He turned and winked,
“And do me a favor,
Don’t tell mommy.”

Those three words,
"Don't tell mommy"
I heard them all to often
When i was all to young.
Those three words...

I absolutely hate Tuesdays. I can never get enough sleep on a Monday night so I am always exhausted the next day.

I woke up this morning to the screech of my alarm clock and my mom yelling at me to wake up.  I wanted to stay home so bad but I knew that she would not allow it.

I began my daily trek to school by falling asleep on the bus ride there.  When I finally arrived at SLA, I could barely keep my eyes open throughout first period.  It is dreadful knowing that after lunch, I still have three straight periods before dismissal.  On top of that, I have work from 5pm-9pm.  I never get home before 9:30.

The only good thing about Tuesday is the fact that Wednesday is following.  Wednesdays are always a half-day for me.  I know as soon as I get home from such a long Tuesday, I have time to relax and recharge for a low-key Wednesday.