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Love used to be a weird concept to me. I never understood how, in the movies and stories, people could find this perfect person for them, that they would have no issues and live a lavish life until they died. It just felt too unrealistic and untangleable. It made me think that maybe I wouldn’t find my person. I felt that I was just too much and that no one would want that. I would be too loud or too pushy. I felt like I was just an unbalanced person, and no one would want that. In The Handmaid’s Tale, love is a topic that is brought up throughout the story. “We believed in it, this downward motion: so lovely, like flying, and yet at the same time so dire, so extreme, so unlikely.” (pg 225) Offred tells us how people used to think about falling in love. When she mentioned how unlikely it was, it reminded me of how I thought. I thought of falling in love as something that would happen and would be hard to achieve. Offred and I had different views, though. She believed in it, and I had no faith. It shows how love can be shown to people, impacting their views of it.

How I have seen love in the media also didn’t help me. Once I had gotten access to the internet, it showed me a different side. I showed me how women would feel and do when they fell in love. “We were revisionist; what we revised was ourselves.” (pg 227) Similar to into the book, women would change themselves. In the book, the way that Offred said this felt like it was something that had to happen. It was a basic thing to do, and I feel like that is similar to the real world. It isn’t as common as it used to be, but there are still people who change who they are for the person they have fallen for. Being shown this in shows and movies doesn’t help. We see how it made it a common thing to be done in the book, and we see how it is in the real world. With the internet, it also showed me how much people would worry about things once they were in a relationship. “Likely you would think at these times: What if he doesn’t love me?” (pg 226) The amount of worry people have is something that will linger on for years. People will always worry about whether their partner is loyal to them or not. In the book, Offred shows us how these thoughts might manifest and, in a way, how it can impact you. I think that I will experience this. It is something that almost everyone will. The thought of whether they still want you and what they might do if not will always exist. In some way, I can say I relate to it now. I have had my doubts in whether or not my partner still loves me. It is an overwhelming feeling. You don’t know what to do with this. If they don’t, how can you confirm this? You don’t want to ask them straight forward, as it can show that you doubt them and hurt them. I just didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing. I know for sure that the thoughts that Offred showed us will always exist in people, even in me.

With the older that I have gotten, I have started to see love in a different light. I have finally seen the relationships around and saw that they had inperfections. I have even been in one myself. No relationship is going to be perfect. There will be problems and issues, but that is human. Being imperfect is normal. What I have also seen is that not everyone will have just one love in their life. You can love one person at one time and then another later. “Luke was not the first man for me, and he might not have been the last.” (pg 227) Offred says how she wonders if she would have fallen in love again. If Luke was her last love. In the real world, people do exactly what she was thinking. People often don’t end up with their first love. They can have two, three, four, I could go on and on. It is just natural to fall in and out of love. You will eventually find that one you will love for the rest of your life, but it may take time. I know that it is a process that will take its time with me.

Love has changed for me over the years. Once something I thought wouldn’t happen to me did. I had gotten to fallen in love and figured out how it felt. Love is something that can come in many forms. To some, love is family and friends, and to others, it is the one they think will be with them forever. Now knowing how love is to me, I know that I will fall in love again and again, until I find the one. Like Offred, I will have the wonder if the person I am going to be with is the last. But unlike her, I will hope that this is the one.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1483hs48DcEB2he2IG31Tvdel8zYv1l9qgxhHvOltrxI/edit?usp=sharing

Creating this playlist is so powerful, it’s imaging the sound of resistance in a world built on silence. Music represents freedom, individuality, and memory, all things that women like Offred are denied. The five songs I chose capture moments of longing, rebellion, and survival that echo through the novel.

Running with The Wolves by AURORA

When Offred says, “We were the people who were not oin the papers. We lived in the blank white spaces at the edge of print. It gvave us more freedom”(Pg. 57), it reminds me of the wild, defiant spirit in this song. AURORA’s lyrics “Running with the wolves tonight” feels like Offred’s secret self, the part of her that refuses to be fully tamed by Gilead. Even through her body is controlled, her thought still run free. The wolves represent a natural freedom that Gilead has tried to erase. The rhythm of the song builds like the pulse of Offred’s quiet rebellion a reminder that even within “the blank white spaces” there’s life, emotion, and resistance trying to break through.

Caged Bird by Alicia Keys

Offred reflects that “We lived in the gaps between the stories” (pg. 57 ), and that perfectly connects to Caged Bird. Keys sings, “Right now I feel like a bird, caged without a song,” which mirrors the trapped lived of the Handmaids. Their stories don’t get told, they exist in those “gaps,” between what’s written and what’s allowed to be said. Just like the song, Offred can’t sing or speak freely, she’s constantly watched and silenced. But even in her cage, she dreams of flight: “But I know I’ll fly away someday.” That dream of freedom keeps her alive. In Gilead, hope is dangerous, but its also necessary. This song feels like the sound of Offred’s inner voice, quiet but unbroken.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

When the Commander tells Offred, “Better never means better for everyone…. It always means worse for some” (pg. 211), he’s practically describing this song’s entire meaning. The lyrics, “Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back,”sound like what the citizens of Gilead might be told when the regime takes over. The Commanders created a system that benefits themselves under the excuse of mortality, and everyone elsepays the price. The line ¨Helpy me mae the most of freedom and of pleasure”connects to the Commader’s hypocrisy when he sneas Offred to Jezebel’s he’s enjoying ”freedom” while she risks everything. This song exposes the truth behind Gilead’s fake righteousness, that control, not faith, runs the world.

Control by Halsey

Offred finds the Latin message scratched into her closet “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum,” (pg. 146) and it becomes a secret anthem of strength. Halsey’s “Control” feels like that message turned into music. She sings, “Im bigger than my body, I’m colder than this home,” which echoes Offreds’s feeling of being trapped inside a body that isn’t hers anymore. The line between sanity and rebellion blurs for her as she tries to maintain control in a place where she has none. Like Halsey battling the monster inside, Offred’s fight is both mental and emotional. She can’t shout her anger, but it simmers under every quiet thought. The Latin phrase Isn’t just graffi, its the voice of every women in Gilead saying, “We’re still here.”

The Night We Met by Lord Huron

Offred admits, “I want to be held and told my name. I want to be valued, in ways that I am not.”( Pg. 97) That longing connects deeply with The Night We Met.” The song’s lyrics, “I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you,” sound like her memories of Luke and their lost life together. The slow, haunting melody feels like remembering lovethrought fog, its there but fading. The song also reflects her complicated relationship with Nic, where love ans survival blur. In Gilead, love is rebellion, it means clamin something human in a place designed to erase humanity. When Offred reaches for those memories, she’s not just missing Luke, she’s reaching for the part of herself that Gilead can’t take. This song captures that ache perfectly.

Each of these songs I choose gives sound to the emotions Margret Atwoods leaves unspoken fear, love, rage, and hope. The Commanders may erase women’s voices, but they can’t erase rhythm or memory. When Offred remembers the past, it’s like a song playing in her head, something that connects her to who she used to be.

Running with the wolves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06ht9MyJLT4&list=RD06ht9MyJLT4&start_radio=1

Caged Bird

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9_9XbUvfrA&list=RDj9_9XbUvfrA&start_radio=1

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGCdLKXNF3w&list=RDaGCdLKXNF3w&start_radio=1

Control

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8V5dAli-Q&list=RDso8V5dAli-Q&start_radio=1

The night we met

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtlgYxa6BMU

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12qi7K_RKfOGFJAtrnxmeGF33CA9WgnvDne-tIN3mpWE/edit?usp=sharing

Chapter 19: I chose this chapter because its following chapter 16 where the birth ceremony took place, and 17 where she imagines making love to Nick then envisions his body dead following their failed escape. The rest leading up to 19 is her lying in bed and reliving her past trauma and events of Gilead. Chapter 19 kicks off with Offred dreaming of catching her daughter in a hug before the thought of it sends her into a wave of sorrow; she then wakes up in bed with her mother holding a tray of breakfast. She is stuck in a dream sequence which is making her relive these moments especially during the aftermath of experiencing extreme trauma.

While this might seem like just your usual chapter there is a lot to unpack. The silence and sleep is broken by a birthmobile arriving to take Offred to a birth. Janine is expected to give birth and have her baby. During the ride to the commander’s house Offred wonders if she will give birth to a child with birth defects. This was one of the more confusing parts of the chapter but it shows the effects Gilead has on their person and how many ways that this birth can turn out. Though there are times in the text where they make questionable comments. The birth seems somewhat ritualistic in a sense, women are praying, in the text it states “what will Ofwarren give birth to? A baby, as we all hope? Or something else, an unbaby, its heart or no arms, or webbed hands and feet?” They speak of the possibility of a baby born with a disability as if it is a demon dreaming of an unbaby and wondering if they would be born with webbed feet or a pig snout.

I thought this was note worthy because it shows that they have more or less lost their grip on reality. They treat their day to day life in a cult like fashion and they are showing signs of starting to give into their environment. The lack of the previous normal they once had led them down the path of adapting whether they previously tried to fight it or not. They believe that 1 of 4 women have been poisoned by toxins and environmental pollution and that women outside poison their bodies or get their tubes tied calling these types of women Jezebels, scorners of God’s Gifts. In a classroom Aunt Lydia shows them a graph of how the birthrate has fallen over the course of history, eventually falling under the “line of replacement.” Aunt Lydia said that women who didn’t want to breed were lazy sluts. She claims that childbirth in Gilead is in contrast to the old days, because birth then was entirely natural. When women were not allowed drugs to sooth their pain, because it’s better for the baby, and because god wanted women to suffer in childbirth. The birthmobile eventually arrives at Ofwarren’s Commander’s home and the handmaids are told to go in. Offred imagines the Wives sitting around talking about their Handmaids, calling them sluts and complaining about their uncleanlyness, then chapter ends. The whole point of this chapter is to show us the reality of life in Gilead. We get a look into how skewed and diluted the media they are fed really is.

The soundtrack of love in a locked Room by(Jay Dutton)

Even though there’s no music in Gilead, if Offred had a playlist similar to mine, emotional r and b the kind that feels like love and quiet rebellion all at once. In the handmaids tale. Chapters 35-39 show offered shifting from fear to need.

She starts seeing Nick in secret,loses trust in the commander, and begins realizing how much of herself she’s already had to bury to live. These songs by drake, jhene,pnd,future and rod , capture the mood and emotion of her life where even love feels like resistance.

Feel No Ways by Drake this song perfectly matches Offred’s growing disconnection from the commander. By this point she realizes her relationship with him isn’t love- its control dressed up as kindness drake says ¨ I had to let go of us to show myself what I could do”and that line shows how offred tries to emotionally separate herself from the commanders manipulative power.¨He was not a monster,to her mind he was the only man she was allowed¨, p 231) This line shows how Gilead traps her into confusing captivity with comfort. The song’s distant, drifting prod sounds like the mental space offred enters when she with him lowkey , polite,pretending. She’s done giving emotion to someone who sees her as property the song by drake becomes the sound of her detachment the moment she stops trying to please him and starts thinking for herself again

Jhene Aiko’s Triggered shows Offred’s emotional reaction to her secret connection with Nick. Aiko´s voice is soft but angry and full of lots and lots of heartbreak and I think thats how offred feels when she first gives in to desire again she’s been silent for so long that the rush of emotion almost overwhelms her. ¨ I tell him my real name, and feel that therefore I am known¨

That moment is like an emotional rollercoaster its not just identity its memory its rebellion which is a recurring things for offred and kind of matches the song Jhene’s Line ¨”You were my muse, now your just just a trigger¨ reminds me of how love in Gilead is dangerous its both healing and painful in my opinion. You can tell that Offred wants to feel something again even though every touch could get her killed the song fits her perfectly because it’s about reclaiming emotion after being told to look away from it and love might leave you triggered

partynextdoors come and see me. This song’s dark late at night vibe tone feels like the secret meetings between offred and Nick that Serena joy arranges. The lyrics describe sneaking around for connection Come and See me for once¨ which matches how Offred and Nick’s relationship is built entirely in whispers and shadows

¨The Fact is I no longer want to leave.¨(p 252) That line hits hard. Offred knows she’s trapped but being with Nick gives her the smallest sense of peace. “Come and See me¨ isn’t romantic in the usual way; it’s lowkey, desperate and quiet which makes it even more powerful. She not chasing romance, more of something that keeps her alive.

Heart On ice by rod wave is a really good one especially based of the artist Rod wave music is about pain and emotional scars all of which define Offred by the end of these chapters heart on ice represents the part of her that has to shut down feelings just to keep moving.

I am a national resource ( p 236) that quote shows how she’s been normalized to a lifestyle of her body not being her own. And rods beautiful bar ¨Put my heart on ice cant let it show captures her emotional numbness to her world every time Offred shows her feelings she could risk a major punishment or heartbreak so she hides her heart just like she hides her thoughts her memories.

These songs tell the story of a woman who has to fight quietly to stay herself. R&B fits because its intimate it lives in emotions that Gilead erase from the norms and emotions such as love pain desire Offred may not be able to listen to music but if she could her playlist would sound like these songs feel no ways shows her rejection of control triggered and come and see me reflect the danger of loving in secret wait for u captures her longing for freedom and heart on ice shows the numbness she has to build to keep from surviving

Together these songs become a voice for what she can’t say aloud they turn her silence into sound proof that even in the most craziest world emotion can be still resistance

It was a random weekday when I got a text the day before from a friend who I’ve known for a long time but haven’t talked to in a while. He texted me about if I wanted to go to the gym with him. I was pessimistic about it because I wasn’t sure how it’ll turn out. But, I went along with the plan and signed up. Right after school the next day I met up with him and began our first day at the gym. As I kept going, I started to like going to the gym and the control I had with my body. I was able to control the intensity that I trained at and freedom I had with my own body. However, in The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood the main narrator Offred, has the opposite from me. Offred has no control or freedom over her own body. Reading through The Handmaid’s Tale reminded me that being able to make choices for my own body is a privilege that is not guaranteed for everyone. Being in the gym has taught me that control over your own body is not just physical, but also mental. Every choice I choose from the weight to intensity shows that I am in charge of my own body. In contrast with Offred every aspect of her life under Gilead’s ideology is for one purpose and that is to give birth to the children of the Commander. As stated in the novel, “It’s true, and I don’t ask why, because I know. Give me children, or else I die. There’s more than one meaning to it” (55). This shows Offred’s value as a handmaid, which is her ability to give children or die. Her understanding that she doesn’t ask why, shows the forced meaning Gilead gives to handmaids. Though she says that she will die if she doesn’t have children, it can also be the human meaning that she will feel like she has died because Gilead will strip Offred of everything that makes her human, showing the mental control over her body. Depending on how I felt or how my body felt I rested or adjusted my workouts to adapt to how I was feeling. On certain days I felt like eating fast food and cheating on my diet. This showed me the autonomy I had with my body outside the gym. In Gilead, that autonomy is stripped away. “I used to think of my body as an instrument, of pleasure, or a means of transportation, or an implement for the accomplishment of my will” (73). This quote shows Offred’s past experience with the body before Gilead. Her body as an instrument of pleasure showed that she could experience and enjoy life freely. With her body being a means of transportation this shows her independence. Offred’s implementation for her own will shows how she could act on her choices and desires. Showing the autonomy she has on her own body in her past. Now under Gilead’s rules, her body is no longer hers, being owned and regulated by Gilead, used for a sole purpose of reproduction. As I continued to progress in the gym I realized my body has changed and I started to care about myself. For Offred, she is no longer able to care for how her body looks. “But we weren’t supposed to care about our complexions anymore, she’d forgotten that” (55). Showing how Gilead has taken away individuality and self expression over their bodies. Imposing strict control over women’s own bodies and even their thoughts, deciding what they should value. “We are containers, it’s only the insides of our bodies that are important. The outside can become hard and wrinkled, for all they care, like the shell of a nut.” (96). This quote furthermore shows Gilead’s control over these handmaid’s bodies and how they directly change the value of handmaids like Offred. Under Gilead’s rules these handmaids had to change their values on their bodies, showing that even when the outside of their body was hard and wrinkled, only their insides were important. This control under Gilead’s rules highlights the psychological impact that follows without being able to have control over your own body which then forces you to lose identity and individuality. Reading The Handmaid’s Tale changed how I viewed personal freedom and the importance of my body. My experiences in the gym showed me my control over my body and my ability to shape my own life. Offred’s loss of bodily autonomy shows how devastating it can be when the freedom and control over your body are taken away. This novel has made me realize that true power is having the ownership of your body, your actions, and your identity.

Sanctuary Or Cell?

When making this piece, there were two key things that came to mind. The wall for me is one of the most significant aspects of the entire story. We hear about the restrictions from other places, but we rarely hear about the restrictions that the wall has. When we hear of the wall in the story, we may think that it is a way to protect the people, but for me, it’s the opposite. The wall is used as a way to oppress the people of Gilead and to keep them in. It is also meant to serve as a warning of what they can and cannot do. 
I also believe that this scene is one of the key scenes from this story, and definitely one that can be visualized the most often. As it is a very big reveal, and is noticeable throughout the story. So I wanted to make sure that I was picking an important scene, where readers made a big realization, and many made a big connection. 
When I went to draw, I wanted to show how they were being oppressed. That’s why I chose to draw the birds on the outside of the wall, showing that the birds are free while the people inside the walls are not necessarily free. When I drew the hanging people, I wanted to draw them similar to prisoners. Showing how they were hanged to make an example, just as it's done in prison. My main goal with this piece was to showcase how the inside of the wall is basically a prison, and everything that happens within it is just as it would happen in prison. 
The handmaids are drawn in a way to be leaving the scene, while still slowly observing the people hanging from the wall. This is meant to showcase that they know they are in a prison, but they also know that they cannot do anything about it. I believe that this view was very powerful since it showcases how oftentimes humans may know that something is wrong or askew, but they do not have the power to do anything about it.
The eye is one of the ideas I wanted to add to the scene; it is meant to represent how they are always being watched in every situation. Similar to the idea of  “Big Brother” and how he is always watching. I wanted to show how they are always being watched in Gilead by the eye from the sky. Just as there may be “Eyes” anywhere around them, they must always be careful of what they say and do. 
This scene signifies the reality of Gilead; for some, it may be a job, and a place of power, such as how the Commanders could represent the Warden in a prison, while the Angels could represent the prison guards. The handmaids and others would be considered the prisoners; they are kept under strict control. The eye is meant to signify cameras basically, and how they are always being monitored while they are in this prison. This was my main goal behind this piece: I wanted to showcase how Gilead, in all actuality, is just a prison, meant to keep them in, and they will never be free like the birds outside.   

Sanctuary Or Cell?

When making this piece, there were two key things that came to mind. The wall for me is one of the most significant aspects of the entire story. We hear about the restrictions from other places, but we rarely hear about the restrictions that the wall has. When we hear of the wall in the story, we may think that it is a way to protect the people, but for me, it’s the opposite. The wall is used as a way to oppress the people of Gilead and to keep them in. It is also meant to serve as a warning of what they can and cannot do. 
I also believe that this scene is one of the key scenes from this story, and definitely one that can be visualized the most often. As it is a very big reveal, and is noticeable throughout the story. So I wanted to make sure that I was picking an important scene, where readers made a big realization, and many made a big connection. 
When I went to draw, I wanted to show how they were being oppressed. That’s why I chose to draw the birds on the outside of the wall, showing that the birds are free while the people inside the walls are not necessarily free. When I drew the hanging people, I wanted to draw them similar to prisoners. Showing how they were hanged to make an example, just as it's done in prison. My main goal with this piece was to showcase how the inside of the wall is basically a prison, and everything that happens within it is just as it would happen in prison. 
The handmaids are drawn in a way to be leaving the scene, while still slowly observing the people hanging from the wall. This is meant to showcase that they know they are in a prison, but they also know that they cannot do anything about it. I believe that this view was very powerful since it showcases how oftentimes humans may know that something is wrong or askew, but they do not have the power to do anything about it.
The eye is one of the ideas I wanted to add to the scene; it is meant to represent how they are always being watched in every situation. Similar to the idea of  “Big Brother” and how he is always watching. I wanted to show how they are always being watched in Gilead by the eye from the sky. Just as there may be “Eyes” anywhere around them, they must always be careful of what they say and do. 
This scene signifies the reality of Gilead; for some, it may be a job, and a place of power, such as how the Commanders could represent the Warden in a prison, while the Angels could represent the prison guards. The handmaids and others would be considered the prisoners; they are kept under strict control. The eye is meant to signify cameras basically, and how they are always being monitored while they are in this prison. This was my main goal behind this piece: I wanted to showcase how Gilead, in all actuality, is just a prison, meant to keep them in, and they will never be free like the birds outside.   

There’s something quietly powerful about the way Offred and Nick’s relationship unfolds in The Handmaid’s Tale. It’s not loud or dramatic, it’s secret, desperate, and full of constant tension. But it’s also one of the few moments in the novel that actually feels human. What stands out most to me is how their relationship becomes more than just physical—it’s emotional survival like a dependency. It’s rebellion disguised as intimacy.

When Offred says, “I tell him my real name, and feel that therefore I am known” (pg 270),This line shows that In a world where her name has been stripped away and replaced with “Of-Fred,” the smallest act of revealing her true identity becomes revolutionary, a step way far out of her comfort zone. It’s not just a love story, it’s her reclaiming her humanity, one whisper at a time. That moment reminds me of what it’s like to open up to someone and feel truly seen, especially when everything around you feels uncertain or controlled. I’ve had times where I felt boxed in; by expectations, by what I “should” be doing,and the people who made me feel safe enough to just be myself were the ones who helped me breathe again. Offred’s relationship with Nick carries that same sense of relief and exclusivity.

Earlier in the book, she reflects, “I want to be held and told my name. I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable” (pg 112). That line connects deeply to the way people crave genuine connection, not because it’s convenient or transactional, but because it makes them feel alive. In Gilead, every interaction is scripted;the Ceremony, the greetings, the rules. So when Offred chooses to be with Nick, she’s not just breaking the law; she’s breaking out of the system emotionally and giving into her humanity. That’s what makes their connection powerful, it’s not rebellion for the sake of chaos, it’s rebellion for the sake of feeling human again.

I think about that a lot in my own life, the idea of small, private rebellions. For me, it’s not against a government, obviously, but against the routines or expectations that sometimes make life feel mechanical. Such as maintaining a productive but spontaneous schedule to allow for unique experiences and opportunities. There’s something freeing about doing something that’s just for you, something genuine. That’s what Offred’s moments with Nick represent. They’re the cracks in Gilead’s perfect surface, where real emotion seeps through.

Atwood doesn’t romanticize their relationship either. There’s a line where Offred admits, “Neither of us says the word love, not once. It would be tempting fate; it would be romance, bad luck” (pg 272). That makes their relationship feel more real and grounded. They both know what’s at stake, but they still take that risk because the alternative, succumbing to the numbness is far worse. I think that says a lot about what people are willing to risk just to feel connected. Even in my own experiences, the moments that mattered most weren’t the safe ones—they were the ones where I let my guard down and risked being honest, even if it meant things could go wrong. Everyday we must push ourselves slightly out of our comfort zone ensuring that we don’t settle with the next best option.

Another line that stays with me is when Offred describes the feeling of being with Nick as “a small joy, like a promise” (pg 275). It’s the kind of fragile hope that doesn’t need to be spoken out loud. That reminds me of how sometimes, even in stressful or uncertain times, you find little pieces of calm with someone who understands you. It’s that quiet reassurance that you’re still alive, still yourself, even if the world around you feels chaotic. That kind of peace doesn’t erase the fear—it just makes it bearable.

In Gilead, intimacy itself becomes an act of defiance. The government controls everything—language, clothing, even reproduction, but it can’t fully control emotion. By choosing to be with Nick, Offred resists that control. She’s saying, in her own quiet way, that she still belongs to herself. That’s what makes the relationship so meaningful;it’s not about romance in the traditional sense; it’s about ownership of identity. Atwood shows that rebellion doesn’t always look like protest or violence. Sometimes, it looks like a whispered name in the dark. The more I read The Handmaid’s Tale, the more I realize how much of it is about silence and the spaces in between—the blank pages, the words not said. Offred and Nick’s relationship fills some of that silence. It’s one of the few places in the book where we actually feel warmth. Even though it’s dangerous, it’s real. And maybe that’s the point: that even in the most controlled, oppressive environments, the need for love and connection can’t be erased. People will always find a way to feel something real, even if they have to whisper it in the dark.

There’s something quietly powerful about the way Offred and Nick’s relationship unfolds in The Handmaid’s Tale. It’s not loud or dramatic, it’s secret, desperate, and full of constant tension. But it’s also one of the few moments in the novel that actually feels human. What stands out most to me is how their relationship becomes more than just physical—it’s emotional survival like a dependency. It’s rebellion disguised as intimacy.

When Offred says, “I tell him my real name, and feel that therefore I am known” (pg 270),This line shows that In a world where her name has been stripped away and replaced with “Of-Fred,” the smallest act of revealing her true identity becomes revolutionary, a step way far out of her comfort zone. It’s not just a love story, it’s her reclaiming her humanity, one whisper at a time. That moment reminds me of what it’s like to open up to someone and feel truly seen, especially when everything around you feels uncertain or controlled. I’ve had times where I felt boxed in; by expectations, by what I “should” be doing,and the people who made me feel safe enough to just be myself were the ones who helped me breathe again. Offred’s relationship with Nick carries that same sense of relief and exclusivity.

Earlier in the book, she reflects, “I want to be held and told my name. I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable” (pg 112). That line connects deeply to the way people crave genuine connection, not because it’s convenient or transactional, but because it makes them feel alive. In Gilead, every interaction is scripted;the Ceremony, the greetings, the rules. So when Offred chooses to be with Nick, she’s not just breaking the law; she’s breaking out of the system emotionally and giving into her humanity. That’s what makes their connection powerful, it’s not rebellion for the sake of chaos, it’s rebellion for the sake of feeling human again.

I think about that a lot in my own life, the idea of small, private rebellions. For me, it’s not against a government, obviously, but against the routines or expectations that sometimes make life feel mechanical. Such as maintaining a productive but spontaneous schedule to allow for unique experiences and opportunities. There’s something freeing about doing something that’s just for you, something genuine. That’s what Offred’s moments with Nick represent. They’re the cracks in Gilead’s perfect surface, where real emotion seeps through.

Atwood doesn’t romanticize their relationship either. There’s a line where Offred admits, “Neither of us says the word love, not once. It would be tempting fate; it would be romance, bad luck” (pg 272). That makes their relationship feel more real and grounded. They both know what’s at stake, but they still take that risk because the alternative, succumbing to the numbness is far worse. I think that says a lot about what people are willing to risk just to feel connected. Even in my own experiences, the moments that mattered most weren’t the safe ones—they were the ones where I let my guard down and risked being honest, even if it meant things could go wrong. Everyday we must push ourselves slightly out of our comfort zone ensuring that we don’t settle with the next best option.

Another line that stays with me is when Offred describes the feeling of being with Nick as “a small joy, like a promise” (pg 275). It’s the kind of fragile hope that doesn’t need to be spoken out loud. That reminds me of how sometimes, even in stressful or uncertain times, you find little pieces of calm with someone who understands you. It’s that quiet reassurance that you’re still alive, still yourself, even if the world around you feels chaotic. That kind of peace doesn’t erase the fear—it just makes it bearable.

In Gilead, intimacy itself becomes an act of defiance. The government controls everything—language, clothing, even reproduction, but it can’t fully control emotion. By choosing to be with Nick, Offred resists that control. She’s saying, in her own quiet way, that she still belongs to herself. That’s what makes the relationship so meaningful;it’s not about romance in the traditional sense; it’s about ownership of identity. Atwood shows that rebellion doesn’t always look like protest or violence. Sometimes, it looks like a whispered name in the dark. The more I read The Handmaid’s Tale, the more I realize how much of it is about silence and the spaces in between—the blank pages, the words not said. Offred and Nick’s relationship fills some of that silence. It’s one of the few places in the book where we actually feel warmth. Even though it’s dangerous, it’s real. And maybe that’s the point: that even in the most controlled, oppressive environments, the need for love and connection can’t be erased. People will always find a way to feel something real, even if they have to whisper it in the dark.

Offred, from The Handmaid’s Tale, is in a world that is against her. She has to obey the rules and follow them perfectly unless she’s punished with death. But in recent chapters, the readers can see Offred getting along with the commander. This goes against the oppressive world, which says that women shouldn’t talk to the commander or even interact with them unless it’s at the ceremony. Even with these interactions with the commander, Offred can’t help but still feel lonely and confused about herself. The reader can especially see this during chapter 39, when Offred excuses herself to the hotel bathroom before having an intimate moment with the Commander. Offred stares at herself in the bathroom mirror and wonders, why am I here? She points out the way she looks that night, and it’s as if she feels yucky about herself. It’s an important moment to point out, as Offred feels out of place, not following the usual pattern of the system. Which is why I created a visual representation of this moment, to capture the emotions Offred carries.

My visual representation is of Offred standing in front of the mirror, with her eyes closed. She has her dress on, and the background is covered in shade. I decided to draw a target on her head, inspired by a previous art internet trend where they draw a target on an innocent figure, doomed to be dead by society. I also drew the sink because on page 254, Offred explains how she wants a toothbrush. I clearly wanted to represent in my drawing that there’s no toothbrush for Offred. She can’t be hygienic, even though she plays a crucial role in this system, yet she’s not allowed to take care of herself. My overall drawing is trying to capture how Offred has to be used as an object and be looked down upon, just because she’s a woman. If she doesn’t follow these rules and can’t give birth by a certain time, she is killed. Which is where the target symbol comes in, a target has been put on her the moment this dystopian world was formed. With no way to defend herself, Offred barely has any chance to escape this target on her. I also decided to make most of the background shaded dark because I wanted to represent how this is a sorrowful moment for Offred. It’s supposed to bring a negative tone to the moment, symbolizing that Offred isn’t happy. Especially as she’s about to have sex with the commander, a man she has no real connection with. One last detail I decided on was that Offred should have her eyes closed. As if she’s trying to hide from evil, trying to conceal the rest of her sanity the best she can. The viewer of my drawing can predict that she’s hiding from the commander, the system, death, or even from the ceremony. Offred wants to escape and feel what it means to live again, but this system won’t offer that. 

Offred’s emotions in this bathroom scene are significant to women's struggles, and I hope I captured that in my drawing. What Offred feels is real and deep. It’s something that readers shouldn’t ignore, as the events could be an insight into what’s going on in the real world. There are many moments in The Handmaid’s Tale that show Offred’s depressing world, and the bathroom scene is just a small example of it. 

In chapter 37 of The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred’s commander smuggles her into an underground club. There, she is reunited with Moira, who assumes that she is also an escort. When Offred tells her that her commander snuck her into the club disguised as an escort, Moira says “Some of them do that, they get a kick out of it. It’s like screwing on the altar or something; your gang are supposed to be such chaste vessels. They like to see you all painted up. Just another crummy power trip.” (243) This quote immediately drew me in, as it encapsulates the hypocrisy and control at the heart of Gilead, but also in reality.

My first impression of this quote was how Moira’s blunt cynicism cut through the suffocating oppression that Gilead imposes on communication. She doesn’t speak with restraint, or through some kind of filter, and they are completely un-survailanced in the bathroom. This authenticity emphasizes the truth in her statement. In the book, Moira has always been a symbol of defiance and this encounter reignites that or Offed. For instance, when Offred starts having covert meetings with the commander, she’s agonizingly aware of the power imbalance between them, and how easy it would be for him to take advantage of her. She imagines herself stabbing him in the throat with a piece of metal from the toilet, like Moira threatened to do with an aunt in order to escape the Red Center. That act of defiance mirrors Moira’s situation at the club; it’s not outright defeat, but gritty adaptation that Ofred envies and draws strength from. By escaping the fate of being a Handmaid, and therefore a “chaste vessel”, Moira gets certain freedoms that handmaids don’t get, like slightly more individuality, socialization, and she’s able to drink and smoke. Yet, she’s still used for her body and is abused by Gilead.

Moira’s response also unsettled me because of the way it exposes the commodification of women’s bodies in such a visceral way in our current reality as well. Every Halloween, most “sexy” costumes are portraying people like nuns, schoolgirls, and nurses. These costumes are exaggerated caricatures of women whose roles are supposed to be unsexual, designed to cater to the male gaze. Moira’s line, “they like to see you all painted up,” perfectly captures this, implying that the appeal lies in visually conquering women who are supposed to be off-limits. In Gilead, the commanders preach chastity for handmaids, yet they secretly revel in defiling that purity. This is clearly illustrated by Moira describing Offred’s relationship with her commander as “just another crummy power tip.”—commanders bringing their handmaids to the club is a common occurrence.

As Moira puts it, “it’s like screwing on the altar […] Just another crummy power trip.”; to disregard the sanctity of something for your own pleasure, like “screwing on the altar” is a power move in the context of the patriarchy. That same sexual assertiveness is not expected of women under the patriarchy, which is why we see a lot less “sexy” priests, schoolboys or nurses from men. It’s also why women like Offred are designed to be “chaste vessels,” who are defiled as a power move, which underscores the novel’s critique of religious fundamentalism as a tool for patriarchal dominance. Emotionally, this parallel left me grappling with discomfort, as it forces me to confront how Gilead’s distortions aren’t so far removed from societal norms, making the novel feel urgently relevant.

Building on this, to disregard the sanctity of something sacred, like “screwing on the altar,” isn’t just a sexual act in Gilead; it’s a power trip that reinforces the regime’s control. Women like Offred are designed to be “chaste vessels,” their bodies regulated and objectified to maintain the illusion of moral purity, while figures like Moira, who escape that role, are still abused in different ways—traded for the elite’s entertainment. This reveals how Gilead offers the illusion of choice; both women are exploited sexually, just for different reasons. While Offred is a vessel, Moira is a prostitute. In the end, as Moira points out, both are objectified by their oppressors. Moira’s adaptation at the club might offer her a semblance of agency, but it’s still within Gilead’s confines, which made me question the sustainability of rebellion in such an authoritarian world. What intrigued me most was the irony: Moira, once the epitome of bold escape, now embodies a tempered defiance.

Ultimately, this section lingers with me because it blends personal intrigue with broader discomfort, mirroring the novel’s exploration of purity versus perversion and resistance versus resignation. Moira’s words didn’t just critique the Commander’s actions; they illuminated the insidious ways power corrupts intimacy.

I spend most of my time playing video games. For me it is not just a hobby it is an environment where I feel the most at ease. I know it isolates me from the outside world, but I choose it anyway. It’s like trading connections for comfort. I do not feel lonely when I play video games rather my heart races, but I do notice how distant I’ve become from everything else. That’s probably why Offred’s Scrabble scene in The Handmaid’s Tale stood out to me. It is a quiet scene that is oddly familiar. In chapter 23, Offred is summoned by the commander, and instead of punishment or a ceremony, he invites her to play a banned board game. It is a quiet break from all the restrictions around her, something she is not supposed to enjoy. Offred’s reaction had a mix of quiet excitement and uncertainty that reminds me of how I feel when I retreat into my own routine. In my case it’s not rebellion, it’s just what feels right to me. Offred’s Life in Gilead is tightly restricted. She’s not allowed to read, write, or speak freely. So when the Commander pulls out a Scrabble board, it’s not just a game, it’s a small crack in the system. Offred described the moment “We play two games. Larynx, I spell. Valence. Quince. Zygote. I hold the glossy counters in my hand… The feeling is voluptuous.” (pg.139.) This last line “The feeling is voluptuous” stood out to me. It’s not just excitement but it’s a kind of focus that drags her in. This reminded me of how I find enjoyment in video games, not loud, but a quiet kind of immersion. Like Offred, I’m not doing anything dramatic. I’m simply choosing something that brings me a sense of engagement, even if it separates me from everything else. What makes the Scrabble scene powerful is how emotionally complex it is. Offred doesn’t know how to feel about the Commander. She thinks to herself, is he being kind, or manipulative? Is this a gift, or another type of control? She’s not sure, and neither am I when I think about my own routines. There are times where I wonder if my habits are helping me or holding me back. I enjoy video games, but I also know it keeps me distant. I’ve gotten used to that distance. It feels normal now, but sometimes I ponder on what I’ve missed. Conversation I didn’t join, people I didn’t reach out to, moments I let pass. It’s not regret, but it’s a kind of awareness. I usually find myself trapped on the internet. When there’s no school, I’ll spend the entire day online. Where there is school„ I come home, finish homework, and go straight back into video games. It’s not accidental I’m purposely isolating myself from the physical world and choosing to connect with the digital one. That’s where I feel most in control. Offred’s internal reactions hold similar ideas. She says,”This is a reconstruction. All of this is a reconstruction.” (pg.134.) That line stood out to me because it shows how uncertain even her own memories and feelings are. She is basically trying to make sense of something that does not fit into rebellion or submission. I relate to this idea not in the same context, but in the way I reflect on my choices. I know what is expected of me socially to go outside and have interaction, to connect, to be present, butI also know what feels natural, which is retreating into the digital world. Even with this awareness, I haven’t changed and I don’t plan to. I still spend most of my time online, and I’ keep doing that even if it will hurt me. I want to be trapped not because I’m giving up, but because it is where I feel most like myse;f. Like Offred, I’m not trying to escape or rebel against the scenario. I’m choosing something that feels real to myself, even if it separates me. Her moment with the Commander does not change her reality, but gives her something to hold onto. That is why this chapter stuck out to me because it showed how something small, like a game, can carry weight. Offred’s Scrabble scene reminded me that meaning can exist in small quiet moments, even ones that feel strange or uncertain. I don’t relate to her world, but I can relate to the way she reacts when she is unsure of what to feel, yet still drawn to something that feels personal. And that;s what video games are for me. They’re not dramatic, they’re just a part of my routine that makes sense to me even if it means being apart from everything else.

Lit Log 2

People Hatin’ - The Red Clay Strays: This song looks at how people hate each other for not listening to others, and how they convey that hate. In Gilead, we see how the government chooses to hang people to convey their hate for self-expression, specifically when Offred and her comrade are walking by the church where they hang enemies of the government. She says, “Only two hanging on it today: one Catholic, not a priest though.” (176), showing the reader that this is common enough that she has learned what to look for to tell the difference between a normal catholic and a priest. These themes of hatred continue to show up throughout the book. This further reinforces why a song about how people hate each other belongs on this playlist. While it may not focus on Offred specifically, it illustrates how Gilead, in many ways, mirrors the way people convey hate in our world.

Richmen North Of Richman - Oliver Anthony: This song reflects the struggles of working-class people under those who do not care for their employees and take control of their lives. It’s that fact that brings this song into the fold of this playlist, as it relates to how the handmaids are never thanked for their work, much like the rest of the women in Gilead, they are cast aside and neglected except for when they have to perform the ceremony. This song also talks about how most of the wealth in this country is held by the top 1%, much like how in Gilead it’s implied that the elite hold all of the commodities. This is shown throughout the book. At the beginning, Offred describes how they burned all of the magazines when she says, “There are no more magazines, no more films, no more substitutes” (19), and later, when the commander gives her a magazine, she seems shocked and confused about how he procured one. This again works to show us how the elite control the supply and distribution of these commodities. This song is sung out of fear and distrust of people. Oliver Anthony achieves this by appearing in the music video, sitting in the wilderness, and exaggerating his words and expressions to convey his distrust and anger towards the elite. In Direct contrast, Offred shows little emotion toward people and is actively discouraged from showing emotion. This happens throughout the book, but it is particularly evident when a tourist group is visiting and the tour guide asks her questions; she contemplates her response. In the book, she describes her response by saying, “I look down at the sidewalk, shake my head for no.” (26) This simple response is again in contrast to Oliver Anthony’s reaction to people who “wanna have total control.” (2:12) he directly calls out the elite and voices his mind. It’s lines like those that show how even though two people can share a similar feeling about a style of government, they may show their disagreement in two very different ways.

Take Me to Church - Hoizer: Hoizer is known for standing up for equal rights and voicing his opinion through his songs. One of his most well-known and msot played songs is “Take Me to Church,” where he describes the struggle of an openly gay couple being harassed by a group of masked men. Violent acts like that show how we are currently straying towards a path that leads to a government like the one they have in Gilead; they openly hang people for not following the strict laws of the government. Throughout the book, LGBTIA+ people are only mentioned a few times, but later in the book, we can infer by the actions of the Gilead government and the overall disdain for people who are different that they, too, would face the same fate as priests and other groups that are hanged. One similarity between the book and the song is that in the music video of “Take Me to Church,” we see a mob of people burning the belongings of the couple featured in the song. Similarly, in The Handmaid’s Tale, it’s said that women also burned books in the early days of Gilead. (32) These details describe how, even though these groups are hated for different reasons, many of the “tactics” taken by the hate groups are similar and employ a similar hatred.

Labour - Paris Paloma: Labour by Paris Paloma describes the struggle of women in relationships in which they feel trapped. This song gained msot of its popularity during the “Me Too” Movement and has stayed in the public eye. This song explicitly mentions how many women feel trapped in a marriage, and as if their only job is to have babies. In the song “Paris,” Paloma says, “If we had a daughter, I’d watch and could not save her” (1:26), which directly parallels how in Gilead, daughters are taken from their families and given away. In one of the later chapters, it’s described as a sort of wedding ritual where many daughters are given away at once, where she writes, “And now the twenty veiled daughters, in white, come shyly forward.” (196) These words also show how in Gilead many of the traditions of our modern world have been altered to better suit and fit the standards of the government to help reinforce their ideals. Similarly, in Labour, the song accurately depicts how many women are practically held hostage in their relationships, much like how Offred was stuck with Luke after the start of Gilead, when she was no longer allowed to work or hold a bank account. Even though she trusted Luke, she still felt trapped in the relationship.

Bella Ciao - Unknown (It’s been republished many times over the years): The Last song I included on this short playlist is the protest song Bella Ciao. This song has been replicated and translated over its over a hundred-year history. Its main credit and popularity come from the late 1920s and early 1930s in Italy, where it was sung as an anti-fascist anthem. Today, it’s been translated into English and is sung in protest of not only the US government but also the Israeli government and their blockade of the Gaza Strip. I chose to include this song to show hope and that even though the tunnel is long and dark, there’s always light at the end ot it. Throughout history, victory has prevailed from the people who persevere and resist tyranny. Throughout the book, there are constant mentions of the types of Hope Offred holds onto. Most notably, she holds onto the hope that Luke is still out there and that he will try to rescue her. She says this midway through the book when she says, “He made contact with the others, there must be a resistance, a government in exile. Someone must be out there.”(90). This shows that even though she has been forced into this new way of life, she holds onto some hope that someday Luke will save her. Maybe they’ll be able to return some sense of normality. Since Bella Ciao is most remembered as a protest song, it’s also worth mentioning how, in the same quote, she also talks about how there “must be a resistance, a government in exile. Someone must be out there.” this further reinforces the notion that she is not alone in this fight and that others are also working to save not just ehr but everyone who has been forced into this new way of life.

Many more songs could be added to this playlist that also relate to people’s uprising against the group of fascist governments. Many of them either come from modern times, the 40’s during the Nazi takeover, or other fiction novels that also tell the story of tyrannical governments.

Link to Playlist: https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEtDwf1tlK5UDfcAHA5QZbCs2aHTABmcE&si=UAJm-kMhFB_W_m4h

This story discusses how men and women live differently from each other. The men in this story have more power than women and have control over them as well. The women in this story must follow many of the rules. The question for this story is, how does hierarchy play in the gender roles of men and women? This story is called “The Handmaid’s Tale.” This story revolves around hierarchy, power, and gender roles.

In Chapter 23 of The Handmaid’s Tale, 

Offred said, “We are for breeding purposes. (Pg136)” This talks about how women are being treated in Gilead. The women in Gilead are being treated like a breeding machine. How I feel about this is kinda disturbing because this story is all about women being used for breeding purposes and nothing else. How I feel about this part of the story is mostly weird and confusing, because why are the women being treated like they are being used, like it is no big deal? Also, why are women even part of this in the first place, and who started this whole thing?

In Chapter 28 from pages 176-177 of The Handmaid’s Tale, 

Offred was going to the corner store to buy some cigarettes, and the usual lady that she always sees is not there, but a young man at the counter. She gave him her card to let him put the number in to buy her cigarettes, and the young man said that it was invalid. Offred thought that was a mistake and told him to try again and watch his finger punching the number in, checked the number on the window, and it showed her number; it is still invalid. So she tried to call the office, but it went straight to voicemail, saying that the line is overloaded. The line was overloaded all morning, and she tried to phone the office back several times, but no one answered. One day, the director walked into the discing room and having a talk with the female workers and Offred. The director told the female workers and Offred that they were being let go because of the law, and said that they couldn’t work there anymore. How I feel about this is kinda confusing because Offred said that her card should have money in it, but her card went invalid as if she didn’t have any money inside of it, then she tried to call the office to see why her card payment didn’t go through. All she got was a recording from the office that the line is overloaded with a bunch of calls. The lines of calls were still overloaded all morning, and she tried to call them back several times, but with no luck in sight. The second thing that got me confused is that the director told the female workers and Offred that they were being let go and couldn’t work there anymore due to law reasons. That got me really confused because what kind of law doesn’t allow women to work anymore, due to the law, and their cards getting declined when buying items? The big question is what kind of law makes women unable to even go to work anymore, and their cards are being controlled by men, like unlocking them to use their cards to buy stuff and locking them so they can’t buy anything at all?

“A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze” (165). My main inspiration for this artwork was this quote and the oppressive nature of Gilead. The maze served as a metaphor for the illusion of freedom that defines life under the regime. There are multiple paths within it, but all of them lead to a dead end. There is no true exit and all paths lead to one of four different areas: Offred (Handmaid), Jezebel’s (Moira), knitting (Serena Joy), and the Colonies. These four spaces symbolize the limited roles assigned to women and the inevitable control the regime has over them, no matter which path they take. In other words, there is no true freedom in this world and these women are confined within the boundaries of maze. Even attempts at escape, as seen through Moira and Offred, are met with different forms of oppression, taking them into one of these areas.

The structure of the maze mirrors the paradoxical logic of Gilead; an illusion of choice is presented to the characters, but ultimately, all paths are predetermined and dictated. The notion of being like a rat in a maze is seen in Offred’s daily experiences. Her situation is one of the “dead ends” represented by the handmaid figure in the center left of the drawing. Even though women are given more protection in this world, they lack protection in comparison to life before the regime: “I think about laundromats. What I wore to them: shorts, jeans, jogging pants. What I put into them: my own clothes, my own soap, my own money, money I had earned myself. I think about having such control” (24). This memory contrasts with her present reality; she is confined both within the Commander’s house and the social implications of her gender identity. Not only has Gilead stripped her of bodily autonomy, she also no longer has the ability to go about simple routines.

The Jezebel’s building was drawn separate from the rest of the maze, yet it’s still within the boundaries of the maze. This visual separation between Moira and the rest of the maze hints at the illusion of freedom that these women have. While Jezebel’s seems like a break from Gilead’s rules, it still remains under its control. This was seen in Moira’s case. While she is no longer one of the handmaids or wives, she is still objectified and controlled. Despite her rebellious tendencies, the regime is able to find a space and way to keep her as part of this society. People like Moira are now seen as forms of entertainment or novelty for men: “Nature demands variety, for men. It stands to reason, it’s part of the procreational strategy” (237). Overall, the situation of these women is unique to their gender and oppression is not present for men. Due to this, the only dead ends depicted in the maze are the experiences that women have in Gilead.

The knitting drawing symbolizes Serena Joy’s life and the lack of freedom that is now present: “She doesn’t make speeches anymore. She has become speechless. She stays in her home, but it doesn’t seem to agree with her. How furious she must be, now that she’s been taken at her word” (46). Similar to Offred’s situation, she no longer has the autonomy to speak her mind and pursue her passions. Notably, her higher position as the Commander’s wife is not relevant in this sense: she is equally trapped in this system as the handmaids are. The ball of yarn itself represents the constant twisting through different parts of the maze just to end up in this continuous struggle with no end.

The last drawing is of a pickaxe, which is associated with the “Unwomen” in the colonies. They are located in the corner of the maze, or the outskirts, highlighting the lack of power they have in the regime. These people are treated less than human, making this the ultimate “dead end” or where this illusion of freedom collapses entirely.

Above it all, there is a single eye…watching. Whether this belongs to the regime’s spies or a divine figure Gilead claims to serve, this eye dictates everything in this world. The absence of color reinforces this notion of control and oppression in this mundane world. By removing the distinct red of the handmaid’s cloak, I wanted to drain every aspect of excitement in this piece to echo the monotony and emotional numbness these characters experience.

In Chapter nine of The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred finds the phrase, “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum,” carved into a hidden part of her room. The translation isn’t revealed until much later in Chapter 29, when the Commander tells her, “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” (187). Despite it being a frivolous phrase for the Commander, it made me think, is it really? This phrase became a symbol of a quiet yet powerful act of rebellion in a society that was designed to suppress independence, hope, and identity. In Gilead, women aren’t allowed to read and write, so the simple presence of the phrase is a brave act. It was a whisper of solidarity among the women who weren’t completely coerced by Gilead, giving Offred hope and comfort that she wasn’t alone, and that there were despite the oppressive system that forbids any independence, hope, and identity among the women. The phrase not only encouraged Offred to internally survive but it could also apply to other characters in the novel who resisted in their own ways, particularly Moira.

Moira mentally and physically embodied resistance and vigor, early on in the novel she’s one of the few women we see that doesn’t fall completely victim to Gilead’s ‘teachings’. Her character is also greatly defined by the interactions she has with Offred, as she often speaks and acts against the government, “I’ve got to get out of here, I’m going bats”(89). She is one of the only known characters in the book to have stood up against the authorities in Gilead having escaped twice. And, despite her first failed attempt in escaping, she tries again, “Moira marched straight out the front door…presented Aunt Elizabeth’s pass… and disappeared” (132). She didn’t let the government, the bastards, oppress her. Moira then becomes a figure that many Handmaids, including Offred, use as a way to project their hopes, “Moira had power now, she’d been set loose, she’d set herself loose… Nevertheless Moira was our fantasy. We hugged her to us, she was with us in secret…” (133). After her evasion, we are left to wonder about what happened to her afterwards.

However, this image of Moira is then shattered by Chapter 37. Offred accompanies the Commander to the secret nightclub, Jezebel’s, a place hypocritical to Gilead’s beliefs where men bring women for sex. There she shockingly spots Moira. Willingly participating in what could be considered a corrupt version of freedom. Offred learned what really happened after her second escape, about the lengths the government went through to keep her from resisting any further to the point where she essentially had no choice but to let Gilead overpower her. Despite her claims, “Don’t worry about me… I’m still here, you can see it’s me,” (249). It’s clear that this moment is supposed to be disheartening for, not just Offred, but the readers as well. Moira no longer is the embodiment of freedom and resistance she once was. Moira’s defeat was a turning point for Offred, her hopefulness converted into dismay. The phrase shifts and becomes more of a wish than a statement.

Moira’s defeat, as well as the conditions of every woman left to work in Jezebel’s, led me to think about what does resistance mean in a society like Gilead? Is it the fact that you get to choose to survive or surrender to survive? Moira who resisted more openly than anyone, was crushed for it. Her defeat is a reminder of the reality of living in a totalitarian government. So, does her earlier acts of protest matter? Even though Moira couldn’t maintain her resistance forever, I like to think that they did, she gave others, like Offred, something, someone to believe in. In cases like these, it could be that resistance won’t always look like victory, but rather the resistance is in the effort that matters most.

In the end, “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum,” isn’t just a ridiculous phrase, and it doesn’t just apply to one character either. Rather, it represents the spirit of rebellion and resistance that persists even when not taken seriously or in the face of defeat. Even though Moira may have been broken down by the government, her early defiance left a persistent impact, her strength helped others like Offred survive and hope. In Gilead, a place where survival itself could be seen as an act of rebellion, any act of resistance can be powerful. Moira’s experiences are reminders of how in oppressive systems, not letting them break you, may not always mean fleeting, but instead, surviving long enough to inspire others to keep going.

Bag of Bones (Mitski): In The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred and all the other Handmaids are used for their bodies, so much so that they become detached from them in a way that I think Mitski articulates very well in the song Bag of Bones. On page 73, Offred is remembering how she used to feel so positively about all the things her body was able to do for her, but says, “Now the flesh arranges itself differently. I’m a cloud, congeled around a central object, the shape of a pear, which is hard and more real than I am and glows red within its translucent wrapping.”. This description made me think about the song Bag of Bones and specifically the lyric, “And after everything’s done and I’m all undone, You can hear my high heels walking on, Clickity-clacking through the night, I’m carrying my bag of bones”. The way Offred describes her body as flesh, unreal, and unfamiliar to her gave me the same feeling as Mitski describing her body as a bag of bones. Her body belongs to Gilead, the Commander, and the Wife, and they’ve undone her. All her body is is a bag of bones that no longer serves her.

The Other Woman (Lana Del Rey): This was one of the first songs I thought of when brainstorming for this project. The song is about a relationship between a married couple and the woman that the husband is cheating with. It shows mostly the perspective of the ‘other woman’, and so it felt like a very direct parallel to the situation in The Handmaid’s Tale when Offred is in a secret relationship with the Commander. In the song, the wife is compared to the other woman, who is seemingly perfect and has all the things the wife doesn’t. One lyric that made me think about the book is: “The other woman keeps fresh-cut flowers in each room.”. On page 81 of the book, Offred observes the embroidered flowers covering Serena Joy’s dress, saying, “Even at her age she still feels the urge to wreath herself in flowers. No use for you, I think at her, my face unmoving, you can’t use them anymore, you’re withered. They’re the genital organs of plants. I read that somewhere once.” In this scene, flowers are a symbol of fertility and are one way in which Offred feels above the Wife, connecting back to ideas of the song. While the Wife has the advantage of class and money, it can’t compare to Offred’s priceless fertility.

Greenlight (Lorde): This song reminds me a lot of the relationship between Offred and the Commander. When Lorde sings, “I know about what you did and I wanna scream the truth, She thinks you love the beach, you’re such a damn liar.” It reminds me of the moment between Offred and the Commander right after their first meeting. “I think about how I could approach the Commander, to kiss him, here alone, and take off his jacket, as if to allow or invite something further, some approach to true love, and put my arms around him and slip the lever out from the sleeve and drive the sharp end into him suddenly, between the ribs,”. Offred feels violent towards him after he asks her to kiss him, but she’s not angry about the kiss; she knows that there are other unspoken things that he wants from her. The game of Scrabble is innocent, but the power dynamic is not. “Those great whites, they have big teeth, hope they bite you,” is another lyric from this song. In this scene, the Commander is the great white shark; he has the power of class and patriarchy over Offred, and she is anxiously aware of this from the start.

Little Freak (Harry Styles): Although this song is about a romantic relationship, I thought it did a good job of capturing the complicated relationship between Offred and her mother. The song describes a relationship where they didn’t seem to understand each other, and mistakes were made, but they still think about each other after they break up. The lyric, “I disrespected you, jumped in feet first, and I landed too hard,” and repetition of, “I’m just thinkin’ about you,” in the chorus show a similar tension to the one between Offred and her mother described on page 122: “We used to fight about that. I am not your justification for existence, I said to her once. I want her back. I want everything back, the way it was.” They didn’t always agree on things, and Offred remembers and regrets the moments she pushed back against her mother. In the end, Offred thinks they are trivial things, and just wants to see her mother again.

How to Disappear (Lana Del Rey): I wanted to include this song because it reminded me of the way Offred forces herself to forget memories from her life before. Sometimes, she wants to fully integrate herself into her Gilead life, while her memories hold her back emotionally. Other times, she feels happy remembering things, like on page 226, as she is remembering the feeling of love, she says, “There is a good deal of comfort in remembering this,”. While part of Offred is convinced that Luke is dead or imprisoned, there is another part of her that believes he is alive and going to save her. The lyric, “As I whisper in your ear, I’m always going to be right here, No one’s going anywhere,” reminds me of this part of her that remembers her love for him, and the comfort it brings her. Part of what keeps her going is the slight possibility that Luke and her daughter are ok, and they will be reunited at the end.

Link to Lit Log Doc, if you want the song links: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mkGqyHhfewLB0g0v0CDhqVK41hJEtynjZtHsnWB7g9k/edit?usp=sharing

This playlist is specific to Offred; her inner thoughts and life as a handmaid inside The Commander’s house in Gilead. As you listen to the playlist, the musics’ lyrics create the same storyline that Offred tells: an attempt to escape with Luke and their daughter, getting captured, a romance between her and The Commander, and finally a reflection seen as she lies in bed thinking about her past life, more specifically, Luke.