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When coming up with this artwork, I didn’t really know what specific scene to include. There are so many powerful and inspirational scenes within The Handmaid’s Tale, none of which was what I was looking for. I wanted something that more so called me as I was drawing each line to make out the picture. That’s when I finally came up with the artwork that you see. I realized that I want to show a picture that contrasts what is seen on the outside of a handmaid versus what they are actually thinking while going through everything. I know you might be asking, well, what does any of it mean? So starting with the pregnant crying handmaid. I would say that this handmaid is Janine and represents how she is pregnant but is sad that she knows that she has to eventually give up her baby once she gives birth, and is not okay with the circumstances. In some way, even though this is specifically Janine, this could also be a representation for all the handmaids, showing the harsh things that they have to go through and live with.
In the artwork, the handmaid is saying, “We’ve been sent good weather.” Even though they are saying this, a person could see the storm clouds that I made, so why is she saying that we have been sent good weather if there isn’t any? Well, this goes into the metaphor aspect of my art because it’s supposed to represent how they have to hide and censor their own feelings just to survive in this world. It shows how the handmaids are forced to put on this smile that is truly not there just to make the leaders of their society happy and make them move on. It’s just not fair that these women are forced to be humiliated and just used as birthing objects for other people, and not by choice. So it just shows that even though they might seem happy on the outside, there’s really a storm going on in their head. Other than the storm clouds, there are other clouds with things in them. One you could see, it seems like it became a popular saying in the book, “Nolite te bastardes caborundorum.” This saying means “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” I added this because I added a scene of June being in her bedroom, touching the carving of this saying on the floor in her closet. I just thought that this was important because it seems like the only thing that helps her stay sane. It helps her want to keep fighting or try to find a solution to all the madness. Even though at the time she didn’t know what it meant, she just knew it was a message left by someone who was in the same position as her. She felt like her struggles were relatable at that point. Lastly, the last quote I pulled was “when we think of the past, it’s the beautiful things we pick out…” I chose to add this because if you can see under it, there are black figures of what used to be her family. I just think it’s a way to show how the lie they knew of before was all behind them before, and is just a dream for them now. It’s no longer their usual or reality. This brings me into my whole reasoning of doing this, which was to just overall show their struggle. Show what they think in this very moment of living. Just letting viewers realize how deep this book actually could go.

The first song on my Handmaid’s Tale playlist is the song Grieving by Leith Ross. Grieving is, unsurprisingly, a song about grief. More specifically about Ross grieving her past and her female ancestors, seen by the lyrics, “I never will stop grieving, Who we are when we are young, For my grandmother, her children, And who I never will become”. These lyrics really strike me, as they encapsulate everything I see in Offred’s emotions and grief. Similar to Ross, Offred misses her mother and often reflects on the life she could’ve lived but now seemingly may never get the chance to. All of this and more, make Grieving by Leith Ross the headlining song on my Handmaid’s Tale playlist.

The second song on my Handmaid’s Tale playlist is the song More by Halsey. This is a song about longing for a kid, and more specifically about the yearning and feelings of loss after having a miscarriage. This song encapsulates for me some of the ways that Offred is feeling throughout the book, as she has gone through a similar experience, with her child being taken away from her rather than having a misscarriage. We see this in moments like when Offred is at the doctor, reminiscing on her past with her daughter, when she thinks to herself, “She fades, I can’t keep her here with me, she’s gone now. Maybe I do think of her as a ghost, the ghost of a dead girl, a little girl who died when she was five”.

The third song on my Handmaid’s Tale playlist is the song Witches by Alice Phoebe Lou. This song being about her pushes and pulls of dependence and independence throughout different parts of different relationships, reminds me of Offred and her Commander’s current relationship and power dynamics. Additionally, Lou’s symbolic use of witches in the song as representations of female empowerment and how men/societies often fear that kind of self respect and power in women is very powerful and makes me think of how Offred’s mom and her group of feminists was said to have acted by Offred when she said, “They must have poured gasoline, because the flames shot high, and then they began dumping the magazines, from boxes, not too many at a time. Some of them were chanting; onlookers gathered. Their faces were happy, ecstatic almost.” This act of burning derogatory feminine portrayals is reminiscent of witches being burned at the stake.

The fourth song on my Handmaid’s Tale playlist is the song Pretty Girl by Clairo. Pretty girl is about the singer, Clairo feeling like she’s changing herself too much for a relationship and trying too hard to please her partner, seen in the lyrics, “And I could be a pretty girl, I’ll lose myself in you”. Eventually, this relationship ends and she feels like she is better off. I get similar feelings to these when reading Offred and the Handmaid’s forced efforts to please the commander to stay in their position, because, while bad, it’s better off than they could be as unwomen. I imagine if the Handmaids are ever free, or the system ever changes they will feel similarly to how Clairo felt after the end of the aforementioned relationship.

The fifth and final song on my Handmaid’s Tale playlist is the song Money In The Grave by Drake and Rick Ross. This song is a 180 from the other songs on this playlist, and that’s for a reason. It’s so different because this song connects to how the commander is feeling and acting throughout the first couple dozen chapters of The Handmaid’s Tale. Lyrics like, “I got hoes that I’m keepin’ in the dark, I got my niggas ‘cross the street livin’ large”, make me think of how the commander is hiding a relationship with Offred and how he and the other men are the only people in the world who are, “livin’ large” and have power/wealth. Offred stating that, “The Commander is the head of the household. The house is what he holds. To have and to hold, till death do us part”, has a similar feeling to Drake saying, “I don’t wanna change ‘cause I’m good where I’m at”. They are both saying that the position of the man in power, The Commander/Drake, isn’t changing anytime soon. Overall, my playlist encapsulates the feeling and actions of a variety of characters in The Handmaid’s Tale, from the obvious, Offred, to the more obscure characters like The Commander and Offred’s mother.

Throughout history, the lack of autonomy women have over their own bodies has always been blamed on the lack of modesty in their lifestyles. Instead of placing blame onto the predator who assaults women, there is typically a response as to what the women could have done for the assault to have been avoided. Without accountability for the abuse women go through, women may start to believe the hateful rhetoric being forced upon them and start turning against one another. This idea is perpetuated in The Handmaid’s Tale by the women’s opposition to one another during “Testifying.” During this time, the Handmaids are expected to share past personal experiences with the rest of the group. When it was Janine’s turn to share, she told the story about how she was “…gang-raped at fourteen and had an abortion” (71). Instead of providing Janine with comfort and support as would be expected, the Handmaids instead told her it was “Her fault, her fault, her fault…” (72). This is representative of how society pits women against each other by showing how propaganda can persuade people to believe something that does not align with their ideals. The Handmaids’ chanting that Janine’s assault was her own fault was not a conclusion they came to on their own. Instead, they were being instructed to say this by the Aunts in Gilead until they started to believe what they were saying. In our society, this is seen in the rhetoric that women have to act a certain way for men not to prey upon them. If dressed in a way that is seen as “provocative,” a woman may be met with the question, “Well, what were you wearing?” This question has become normalized in conversations surrounding the sexual abuse of women and is used to deflect the blame of the abuser onto the innocent woman. This allows the idea that women need to dress modestly if they do not want their boundaries to be crossed to be sustained. This philosophy controls the way the Handmaids are allowed to dress. Each Handmaid has the same uniform: an outfit that is “…ankle-length, full, gathered to a flat yoke that extends over the breasts, the sleeves are full. The white wings too are a prescribed issue; they are to keep us from seeing, but also being seen” (8). Since Handmaids are not allowed to have sex, or even be in the same room with a man unsupervised, this implies that one of the main reasons that the Handmaids should not be seen by society is that it may be too tempting for others to want sexual relations with the Handmaids. The lack of control of the men in Gilead dictates what the Handmaids are allowed to wear, and teaches them that their bodies should be something that they are ashamed of; merely an object for others’ pleasure that needs to be hidden away. The notion that a woman’s body is shameful causes both the women of Gilead and our society to feel like their bodies are a taboo subject that should not be discussed. This hateful speech leads them to the conclusion that they deserve the violations inflicted on them. After being ridiculed the week before, Janine tells the group that “It was (her) own fault. (She) led them on. (She) deserved the pain” (72). Being jeered at in the weeks before converted Janine’s mindset from being a victim in a disgusting situation to believing she was the one responsible for her own suffering. This shows how systematic oppression against women not only silences them, but also convinces them they need to carry their trauma alone. In our society, this results in women not speaking out against their abusers due to the fear that their situation will not be believed. In a society where women and their experiences are easily disregarded to preserve the lives of abusers, women lose their voices. In The Handmaid’s Tale, this holds a literal meaning– the Handmaids are forbidden from communicating with one another. In our society, this means that a woman’s voice feels powerless. Women will be forced to suffer and endure the abuses at the hands of men until society makes an effort to change its patriarchal ways. Even though they are set in different realities, the oppression and degradation of women are evident in both The Handmaid’s Tale and our own society. While The Handmaid’s Tale may be an exaggeration of the abuse women go through in our world, the themes of abuse and patriarchy are too common and too normalized in both societies. The Handmaid’s Tale should serve as a warning for what our society may become if the silencing and shaming of women continues without repercussions.

The artwork depicts when offered and her partner were walking and were stopped by an interpreter from Japan. However, the Interpreter was not the only one there; he also brought a group of Travelers who asked whether they were happy in Gilead. Offred was left unsure of how to respond, but continued to say they were happy in Gilead. To start off, I designed my piece of artwork in this way to clearly represent how I imagined it to be in my head. I made the buildings in the back darker colors because of the Helpless/chilling vibe that Gilead gives off. The reason why I found this moment in the book to be interesting is because it shows how, when something is not really your problem, you have great ignorance towards it. Not feeling the full effect of someone else’s pain somehow makes people curious and have lack of empathy for those going through traumatic experiences. I feel like it’s some type of chemical imbalance in our brains not to have empathy for others in pain. This Moment In the book also makes me think of how the Dynamics in Gilead would play out in another country and what other rules would they have towards tourism. Would they let people ask questions, or would they keep people clueless about what is happening within their country. I do think that the person who controls the gilead wants people in other countries to perceive handmaids as some type of a live-action artifact that they can be curious with. in my mind this scene feels like a social experiment to see what the handmaids would do if they had people asking them questions about the gilead and whether they would stay loyal and not say anything like they were taught. Generally, they think tourists are just eyes that come to ask some questions so they can see how they respond, which I believe could be true, given how strict everything is around them, and they already don’t want people from that country to be involved in anything. I also wonder If The Interpreter was Japanese or American, because if he were to be American, how did he escape the rules bound to him from living in the States. Did he create some type of pathway of living in another country, which led to him being safe from all rules. This moment also makes me think of what roles can be bent to be beneficial for some people and also cause chaos for others.

Link to Document: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M9YrAvCFkdQoNaka1rB52Ge0cac401AV-CrRNiV7MI8/edit?usp=sharing

For my artwork, I chose to visually represent one of the haunting moments from The Handmaid’s Tale so far, the first introduction of the Wall in Chapter 6 (pages 30-36). In my piece, the Wall is depicted as a looming, oppressive structure of red brick, lined with bodies hanging, set against a bleak and gloomy background. I designed the scene to feel gritty and unsettling, showing off the harsh atmosphere of Gilead. This imagery captures both the literal and symbolic power of the Wall within the book, functioning as a constant reminder of authority, fear, and control. One of the key inspirations for my artwork comes from offred’s description. It states, “Now we turn our backs on the church and here is the thing we’re in truth come to see: the Wall.” (pg. 31). This line conveys how the Wall has replaced the traditional symbols of morality with something darker and more oppressive. The shift from the church to the wall demonstrates Gilead’s manipulation of religion to control its citizens. By visually highlighting the Wall, I wanted to capture this unsettling transition from faith to fear, where death and punishment become the true foundation of authority. In my drawing, I emphasized the architectural details Offred notices: “Like the sidewalks, it’s red brick, and must one have been plain and handsome.” (pg. 31). This description inspired me to use the red tones of the brick not only as a realistic element but also a symbolic choice. Red recurs throughout the book, especially in connection with the Handmaids, but here it is tied to violence and death. The “plain but handsome” past of the building shows how something once ordinary and even beautiful has been transformed into a device of terror. My choice to make the bricks appear more weathered and blood-stained reflects this shift in meaning, reinforcing how Gilead corrupts the ordinary into many tools of oppression. The Wall is not just a structure, but it maintains a sight of control. The description, “Gates have sentries and there are ugly new floodlights mounted on metal posts above it, and barbed wire.” (pg. 31), influenced my decision to add a floodlight casting a cold and harsh beam across the scene. These lights illuminate the bodies, forcing passersby to see them. The barbed wire at the top adds to the sense of entrapment and security, making it clear the Wall is designed to be seen, feared, and remembered. Most haunting of all are the bodies themselves: “Sometimes they’ll be there for days until there’s a new batch, so as many as possible will have the chance to see them.” (pg. 32). By including hanged figures in my artwork, I wanted to confront the view with the brutality of this society. The facelessness of the bodies with bagged heads and dangling limbs, emphasizes their reduction to examples rather than just the individuals. The book states, “They have committed atrocities and must be made into examples, for the rest” (pg. 33) underscores how Gildead justified these public executions and showing. In my art, the hanged bodies act as warnings forcing those who look upon them into obedience and control. The gloominess of my scene comes from Offred’s own reflection: “I didn’t hear the bells. Perhaps I’ve become used to them.” (pg. 32). This detail highlights the normalization of the horror within Gilead. Over time, even the most gruesome sights and sounds lose their shock. In designing my artwork, I included gray skies and a dim atmosphere to represent the numbness Offred is feeling. The setting feels both ordinary and horrific at the same time, reflecting the danger of becoming desensitized to cruelty. Lastly, my visual representation of the Wall is significant because it captures the essence of Gilead’s power structure. The Wall is not just about punishing criminals, but it is about constant psychological control. It instills fear, enforces conformity, and eliminates individuality. For Offred and the Handmaids, it is a permanent reminder that resistance is deadly and survival requires submission. By portraying the Wall in a gritty, oppressive style, I hope to reflect both the immediate horror and its wider range of symbolism as a dystopian tool of dominance. In creating this piece of work, I wanted the viewers to feel the same unease that Offred feels and converts when she first describes the Wall. The Wall’s power lies in its visibility where everyone must look at it and think about it, remembering its meaning. My artwork aims to make that same impact, making the viewer experience the fear and the darkness of Gilead showing off the symbols that are for control.

I drew a clock with the first part of the day, the afternoon hours, having no specific label, and an arrow going around the clocks towards nine o’clock. The later evening hours have labels to them, and there is also an eye in the clock, representing the constant watch that Offred is under. One of the major themes in the Handmaid’s tale is time. Offred’s imagination and her mind is the only thing that is truly hers; she doesn’t own a single tangible thing, not even really her body. A lot of the story revolves around Offred’s reflection during the long periods of time she’s alone, with nothing more to do but reflect on her past life when she was free. She’s a prisoner to a society that uses her for her body, but at least she has her mind and her own thoughts; this, she uses to think about those she misses: Luke, her mother, and her daughter. Offred often mentions how much time she has as a Handmaid. This is what the unlabeled hours on the clock represent and the arrow speeding through that section of the clock. She says “There’s time to spare. This is one of the things I wasn’t prepared for—the amount of unfulfilled time, the long parentheses of nothing.” (p.69) Offred had to adjust to this lifestyle; she used to be free, but now her only use is to get impregnated and birth a healthy child. Her “unfulfilled time” is replaced with flashbacks of the past, echoes from her loved ones that she can’t quite grasp onto. There’s not much for her to physically do; she’s trapped. She tries to fulfill her time doing tangible things to keep herself occupied, like searching her room thoroughly, but all she’s truly left with is her thoughts and her mind takes over. A large chunk of the time she has occurs during the night time, which is why the night hours are labeled. Offred says, “The night is mine, my own time to do with as I will, as long as I am quiet.” Night is often when Offred reflects the most on her past. She views it as her time, which is something that no one can take away from her, just like the memories she still has of Luke, her mother, and her child. That’s something that she will have forever. She owns nothing tangible; her only form of freedom is her ability to form her own thoughts. Yet even with this free time, she still can only do so much; she’s stuck with herself and the thoughts that haunt her. Lastly, Offred has her time at night to herself but she still feels like time is slipping away from her. That is why on the clock there are multiple arrows in the later hours. It shows how her perception of time is being warped and she feels as though she is losing time. “I lie, then, inside the room, under the plaster eye in the ceiling, behind the white curtains, between the sheets, neatly as they, and step sideways out of my own time. Out of time. Though this is time, nor am I out of it.” Offred feels trapped in time; she’s constantly being watched by “the plaster eye in the ceiling,” always being controlled by the higherups. That is what the eye in the clock represents. She has so much spare time that forces her to explore the depths of her mind, yet it still feels like time isn’t moving. “Out of my own time,” implies that she’s out of time to live her life. She has no more freedom, her loved ones have been taken from her and everything else she had stripped. Offred has nothing left to do but use her time to hope that things will get better, that maybe she won’t be a prisoner forever. With my artwork I wanted to highlight the theme of time which was represented through multiple scenes in the story. It has been the only thing keeping Offred going, through her flashbacks and happy memories, and it has allowed her to explore the depths of her mind that she hadn’t before. Time has been a gift and a curse to Offred, but her relationship with it helps add to the plot of the story and offers the reader a better understanding of her past.

In The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood, I went through many different emotions reading about the societal standards present in the story to the hidden meanings, and references to the human nature of genders in page 45. I was able to experience a deeper understanding as I closely read At the beginning of page 45 as Offred says her farewells to Ofglen she states, “ She hesitates, as if to say something more, but then she turns away and walks down the street“ (45). I was confused at this interaction, but as I look deeper I find that because of Gilead’s rules of no intimacy between Handmaids they both fear and hesitate to get closer. This reminds me of how societal norms can affect the choices of people and how they act in accordance to the norms. For instance speaking out about anything that is hot in the media can result in judgement or even worse being canceled. Another line from the same paragraph says, “She’s like my own reflection, in a mirror from which I am moving away” (45). This shows the Handmaid’s similarity to each other, as they wear the same red uniform, and are subjected to the same rules and ganders. Not only are they similar in uniform, their identity is stripped of individuality and reduced to follow a role set on them.

One of the moments in this page that made me feel weird was when Nick, who was polishing the car, suddenly whistles and tries to talk to Offred. “Then he says, ‘Nice walk?’ I nod, but do not answer with my voice. He isn’t supposed to speak to me. Of course some of them will try, said Aunt Lydia. All flesh is weak” (45). Nick’s actions towards Offred triggers a flashback to when Aunt Lydia says that all flesh is weak, making a connection to the human nature of men and how their desires are inevitable. It also shows the gender double standards, as men breaking rules are seen as natural, but women bear the burden of restraint. I find that this also relates to chapter 23 as the Commander wants Offred to play a few games of scrabble with him and then at the end give him a kiss. Which further shows Aunt Lydia’s point about men’s desire being inevitable.

The connection that intrigued me the most was when Offred described Serena Joy’s garden and specifically the tulips. In this section Offred describes the tulips as “no longer wine cups but chalices; thrusting themselves up, to what end? They are, after all, empty” (45). I find that this line shows a connection to the Handmaids, and from the line, “thrusting themselves up,” it expresses sexual imagery about reproduction. With the line sentence following that being, “They are, after all, empty,” can be connected to how the Handmaid’s bodies are merely vessels for reproduction. Furthermore chalice is normally seen as a holy item, I feel like from the use of chalice it symbolizes Gilead’s use of religion to justify the control and actions being done to these women’s bodies. With the last bit saying they are all empty expressing the emptiness of this religious justification.

Additionally Offred shows the violent system in Gilead through the tulips. “When they are old they turn themselves inside out, then explode slowly, the petals thrown out like shards” (45). Offred implies that the slowing destruction of tulips over time mirrors the way women are consumed by the system, then eventually discarded when no longer valuable. This shows the violence that Gilead lives by, relating to how society can value women by their youth and beauty, like how fashion industries value beauty and youthfulness the most when looking for their models. I find that Offred’s connection to a tulip reflects her current mental state as someone’s identity so controlled by societal rules. Her constant mix of sexuality, religion, and violence in her descriptions show the twisted perception she has on gender roles and natural beauty, living under Gilead’s ideology.

The character Serena Joy shows how the shift in societal standards affects the actions of a person directly. She was previously a singer and with some fame to her name she changed when the societal standards of Gilead came. “By the time she was worthy of a profile: Time or Newsweek it was, it must have been. She wasn’t singing anymore by then, she was making speeches. She was good at it. Her speeches were about the sanctity of the home, about how women should stay home. Serena Joy didn’t do it herself, she made speeches instead, but presented this failure of hers as a sacrifice she was making for the good of all” (45). Since the societal change to Gilead’s ideology, Serena Joy was affected by this and had to then make speeches about gender roles women should follow and how religion should play a bigger role in people’s lives. It also shows the societal hierarchy, by trying to push for women to be silenced and controlled with her influence, she too was later confined to her home under Gilead’s control. Margaret Atwood shows the influence that societal standards have on people and how people trying to fit into these roles affects themselves personally.

Atwood’s description of the bodies in The Handmaid’s Tale utilizes metaphors and detailed imagery to enhance the lifeless nature, as well as providing a commentary on the impact of violence on an individual. Offred has been traumatized by the normalization of violence in Gilead, and it shows through the way she describes the bodies.
In chapter 6 of The Handmaid’s Tale, the reader is given their first detailed description of the bodies that are lined up on the wall; “It makes the men look like dolls on which their faces have not yet been painted; like scarecrows, which in a way is what they are, since they are meant to scare.” (32) The metaphor ‘like dolls on which their faces have not yet been painted’ particularly stuck out to me because it speaks to the mysteriousness of these dead bodies, how they are perceived by the public as messages of hate and violence. Their lives have already been taken, and furthermore their identities as well. Our facial features are what give us our unique liveliness; just like a doll with no paint, we are lifeless without them. When picturing a scarecrow I think of the coarse hay, creating a rough, and inhumanely straight posture. Offred, having witnessed violence in such a way, is now attributing their posture to something unalive as she takes in the gruesome display. These bodies that were hanging weren’t just left for dead, but pinned up as trophies to scare the public. Offred goes on to give us more descriptive narration, enhancing the reader’s perturbed emotional state, allowing us to view the bodies the same way as she, “The heads are the heads of snowmen, with the coal eyes and the carrot noses fallen out. The heads are melting.” (32) The word “melting” inflicts a vivid image for me; one of limp white fabric surrounding the faint outline of a lifeless head. Its distorted, missing crucial recognizable features - such as the coal eyes and carrot nose - similarly to the dead, having been executed and then stripped of their identity. Something I found interesting about this comparison to a snowman was the trivialness of it, comparing a dead body to a core childhood memory. It allowed me to put myself into Offred’s shoes, transporting me back to a time when metaphors clouded my head, protecting me from what my eyes were ingesting. When I was 10 years old, I can vividly remember being exposed to death - the harsh, gory realities of it. I was scrolling on my shattered iphone 6. A bright green bar ran through the middle of it, distorting my view slightly. Though it didn’t stop me from stumbling across a comment section full of scarred teens. They were gossiping about the initial shock, comments flooded my screen warning me not to look, but it only enticed me more. Similarly to Offred I was unable to look away. I copied one of the top comments containing a link, pasting it into my private browser - I was young, yet had enough sense to cover my tracks. The screen transitioned from dark to light, flashing a dancing girl in a school uniform. She looked young, too young. I later found out she was the same girl in what I was about to watch. The video then cut to a low quality clip of 4 boys surrounding a girl. I couldn’t make out her face, only a blob of tan colored flesh was discernable. They were holding her, two had her arms, another by her neck. Before I knew it blood-red pixels flooded the screen. I didn’t know what was happening - but almost on cue, the resolution cleared. I vividly remember the way her head hung low, having been severed by a small knife, wielded by the vile boys. It reminded me of the way my kindergarten teacher used to do yoga with us. I exhaled softly, mimicking the voice of my teacher in the back of my head, my eyes were still glued to the cracked screen. It was the most horrific act of violence I had ever seen, yet my brain transported me to a moment of serene. After the breath was over, though, I threw my phone across the room and curled up in a ball, clutching my knees to my chest - I couldn’t sleep for weeks after without dreaming about the young girl. I think I was particularly drawn to this section because of how descriptive it was. Offred is visibly impacted, merely by the way she attributes childish metaphors such as the melting snowman, comforting - yet twisted. I too have become desensitized to violence, witnessing it on social media from a young age, and I believe it has shaped the way I am able to write and think. It has caused me to scour my brain for the right things to describe exactly what I am seeing, almost as a way of coping.

PLAYLIST: Inside Of Offred’s Mind

1) Eyes Without A Face - Billy Idol

    On the surface, this 1980s pop song may seem unrelated to the grim novel, “The Handmaid’s Tale,” but I noticed some thematic parallels that connect the two. Similarities revolve around the concepts of control, identity, and the objectification of women. 
    “Eyes without a face, got no human grace…” This part of the song suggests someone who appears to be human but lacks the emotional depth or identity like the handmaids in the story. 
    Handmaids are stripped of their identities and named after their commanders. Real names are forbidden and individuality is erased. They are reduced to their reproduction function and given no liberty for absolutely anything. This doesn’t only apply to their bodies, but also any form of expression – emotionally and physically. Their clothing consists of long red conservative dresses, their hair is hidden by a white bonnet that also has, “wings,” to restrict their vision and forbid them from seeing others. Chapter 2, page 8, their clothing is described as, “The white wings too are prescribed issue; they are to keep us from seeing, but also from being seen. I never looked good in red, it’s not my color.” No woman is able to express themselves in any way, making them bodies without identities, just like the song, “Eyes without a face.”

2) Every Breath You Take - The Police

     The song Every Breath You Take by The police fosters a connection with the story of The Handmaid’s Tale by depicting the themes of surveillance, control, and loss of freedom. The song’s central hook of, “I’ll be watching you,” directly relates to the obsessive and inescapable surveillance of Gilead. A specific example of this would be the eyes that serve as spies for The Handmaids. “Every step you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you,” can refer to the secret police that are constantly watching for disobedience and they are everywhere. The Handmaids are often on high alert, conscious of every move they make in fear that they will be accused of not following the rules. On page 18, Moira is afraid of doing something as simple as making eye contact with another man because she’s distressed that he may be an eye, “Perhaps it was a test, to see what I would do. Perhaps he is an Eye.” Handmaids like Offred are constantly being monitored by the government, and even by other women. Someone is always watching Gilead.
     Another repeated phrase in this song is:
     “You belong to me.”
    Handmaids and women in the setting of the Handmaid’s Tale are seen as property, and under the authority of their commander. They quite literally belong to their commander and their existence is seen as possession, not a life. 

3) Pretty Hurts - Beyonce

     This song relates to the story of the Handmaid’s Tale by speaking up about female oppression, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations, and the pain of being reduced to appearance, or in this case, reproductive function. 
    “Perfection is a disease of a nation.”
    This song criticizes how society pressures women into acting and looking a certain way to appear as acceptable to the “standard,” eye. This pressure often causes physical or emotional pain as many women feel forced to abide by these standards, on page 63, Moira expresses the disdain she feels about her own body, “My nakedness is strange to me already… I don’t want to look at something that determines me so quickly.” The corrupt system of Gilead puts their own bodies into a determining factor of their worth, putting their own identity against them which deteriorates their dignity. 
    In The Handmaid's Tale, women are often forced into rigid roles, The Handmaids, Wives, Marthas, Unwomen, based on various uncontrollable factors such as fertility, age, or how they act. All these things determine their "usefulness.” The Handmaids in particular are valued only for their ability to bear children for commanders. They are not valued or seen for who they are as people.  

4) Dollhouse - The Weeknd, Lily - Rose

    The song Dollhouse frames a relationship in which one party is trapped, (The Handmaids, or women in general) manipulated, and made to look perfect externally, however they suffer from rotting and are stuck in misery internally. This mirrors how Gilead forces women into roles and appearances that erase their autonomy and mask their pain.  
    For example, there is one scene in the story that displays how The Handmaids were out on a walk, and were stopped by foreign tourists. They attempted to ask The Handmaids questions about their exotic and conservative looking appearance. The Handmaids, afraid of consequence for interacting with others or being seen, hid behind the wings of their bonnets and refused to initiate or further any conversation. One of the tourists asked, “Are you happy?” However, The Handmaids averted their questions, replying with only, “‘Yes, we are very happy,’ I murmur. I have to say something. What else can I say?” (29) knowing they truly aren’t.
    The tension between the desire to be “seen” and the pressure to conform to Gilead’s inflexible and harsh laws relates directly to this song. The narrator longs for a life without invisible chains, 

“Somewhere In some other lifetime I roam free Strutting down my own lane, my way, no kings, no slaves But right now You got me in a chokehold, headlock, blindfold…” There is a common yearning for liberty and individuality.

5) David - Lorde

    This song reflects on a relationship in which the speaker feels used and dominated. 
    “I made you God 'cause it was all
    That I knew how to do
    But I don't belong to anyone.”
    In both the song and the story, women are often used and have no other choice but to see men as “Gods,” because truthfully they possess all the power. However, Handmaid Offred has a quiet mindset that goes against those values, and protests in her own small ways, trying to keep her sanity while also trying to adapt to the environment of Gilead. 
    Lorde insists, “I don’t belong to anyone,” and Offred is usually in her head swimming in her own thoughts reminiscing on how her life was before she was captured into this society. She often thinks about times when she  “didn’t belong to anyone,” as a form of escape.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Cd4ZsFd9chWQwchi1Eg-kvetWJJ4L5ZU9Zn2tPoie0Q/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wgCg02heF6gaSF0qK_FG4wxYK15JFjucBoS0puVMa9g/edit?tab=t.mpvc98udylm7

Link to my document!

In Margaret Atwood’s critically acclaimed novel The Handmaid’s Tale, we see the idea of sanity and what mentality truly is brought up. It made me wonder what Atwood was trying to convey about one’s sanity and how differing situations impact it. As I read back, I felt as if Atwood was trying to tell us that oftentimes reality is the very reason that we lose our minds. I felt the same as Atwood when I was confronted with this. As oftentimes one’s circumstances are the very reason that they lose touch with reality, and not necessarily what is going on with their heads. At the same time, it made me wonder about how your past comes back to haunt you and ruin your current sanity. I felt that this was the perfect way to describe what was happening to Offred throughout the story, and specifically on page 109. I was able to notice this idea immediately when Atwood wrote about the idea of living in a “paranoid delusion.” On page 109, Atwood writes, “After these dreams I do awake, and I know I’m really awake because there is the wreath, on the ceiling, and my curtains hanging like they drowned white hair. I feel drugged. I consider this: maybe they’re drugging me. Maybe the life I think I’m living is a paranoid delusion.” This made me think of how Atwood continuously discussed the ideas of Offred’s dreams and how they make her feel. We see this throughout the entirety of the text, when she’s dreaming about her past with Nick or her friends. Every time she gets one of these dreams, it continues to add to her trauma. She mentions multiple times how her dreams make her distracted from reality, which is often a sign of being mentally ill or losing oneself. I believe that by Atwood adding these details, she keeps showing us readers that Offred is slowly losing her mind due to her current situation and her being unable to do anything about it. As Angel brought up in our discussion with the phrase “Don’t let the bastards grind you down,” was ingrained into Offred’s mind, as if she was trying her hardest to resist her mind being torn down by her current state. Which honestly makes sense to me due to how hard Offred was trying to resist. We can tell she was trying to resist because Atwood discusses how Offred is paranoid, and oftentimes paranoia is a sign that one is trying to gain awareness or control of their situation. It also made me think of Batman, how the villain was always afraid that Batman was watching from the shadows. Offred is constantly afraid that the dreams will get worse and keep haunting her, and also afraid that she will be destroyed by her current situation and lose all her sanity. In fact, in the very next paragraph, Offred talks about her own sanity. Atwood writes, “Not a hope. I know where I am, and who, and what day it is. These are the tests, and I am sane. Sanity is a valuable possession; I hoard it the way people once hoarded money. I save it, so I will have enough, when the time comes.” This was what solidified my belief that Offred was slowly losing her sanity. I feel like she is trying her hardest to just save a little bit for the future when she may need it, or in case she tries to escape. She knows that she is slowly losing it and is only trying to keep the bare minimum. She says, “So I will have enough, when the time comes.” Which tells us that she just wants enough, not anything more and not anything less than what she needs. It really shows how desperate Offred is to maintain a part of herself and not let Gilead fully take her over. I think that it really shows the desperation and willpower of someone who is trying their best just to survive. I feel like Offred’s main reason for her strength is just to try to survive and live another day. I also believe that she has some ounce of hope that she will one day be able to escape, which is why she is trying to maintain her sanity. I feel as if Atwood is trying to convey the true depth of one’s mind and how humans have a tendency to try to save at least a shred of themselves, even when they are slowly losing it all. For me, the thing about this section that stood out the most was the line “Sanity is a valuable possession.” It made me wonder how valuable sanity truly could be in a world where you must abide by a strict set of rules and do not truly have any rights of your own. I believe that Atwood is trying to show us that no matter what, you must always maintain at least a shred of dignity, at least a shred of yourself. No matter what situation you have to go through. So in the end, it truly makes me wonder, what is peace of mind? How can we achieve it? Will our minds ever know peace?

When does choice become completely yours? Can you say you’re uninfluenced from any contributing outside factors? Are you completely in control of your actions by the time you’re fourteen? As I’ve traversed through seventeen years of living and now in high school, reading The Handmaid’s Tale, I’ve started to realize that this belief I’ve held is untrue. When I think back to the past, my memories and things that I’ve done, it feels as if they were an out of body experience. In the story The Handmaid’s Tale, Offred often talks about how in the past, before Gilead, she was able to use her body like an "instrument" and that her body was “nevertheless lithe, single, solid, one with me.” (Page 73) 

Specifically, she used her body to perform actions that she thought of doing rather than letting someone tell or force her to do. She thinks of her body as “one with herself,” where every action is equal in the reaction in her mind. Now, being forced to live in the Republic of Gilead, she talks about her body as if she is just a puppet in the hands of a puppeteer. She is forced to use her body, influenced by the control of others such as the Aunts, Commander, and society of Gilead to reproduce children, and follow orders such as household chores. “I’m a cloud, congealed around a central object, the shape of a pear, which is hard and more real than I am.” (Page 73-74) As she thinks of her present life and her actions, she identifies that she is nothing but someone who is meant to serve a purpose for the “central object” who she believes is “hard and more real” than she gives, giving us insight that she feels her own body is less tangible, “congealed,” than the person she’s using it for. As I read this part in the book, I realized that in my first years of high school, thinking back to school projects, work that I’ve done, and the things I participated in; I did them without purpose or in particular my brain’s consent on the action. I played sports because I figured it was something I needed to do to stay active and something that everyone else was doing in school. The school projects and papers I turned in were more of an interpretation and repetition of my classmates’ ideas. I wore clothes that now I would find uncomfortable and ugly simply because I wanted to fit in and everyone else was doing it. I, like Offred, was a cloud congealed around the lives of the SLA community and using my body to conform to the life of what society thought I should be living rather than have control on what I wanted to do and why. This senior year, I’ve been named the captain of the co-ed cross country team. Through this position, I’ve found what it means to be passionate about something and in turn, using my body, one with my own self, to put that passion towards leading. Specifically, I choose to go to every practice including asynchronous practice, because I choose and want to get better and stay consistent rather than going just to go. I’ve learned to appreciate the art of connection and networking with people through cross country as I’m always ready and excited to chat with my manager, teammates, and coaches I meet on the plateau. I reflect and thoroughly explore the texts I’m reading in class, taking notes and searching for thematic topics and deeper meanings versus the surface level reading that I was doing in freshman and sophomore year. Instead of reiterating the thoughts and discussions of my classmates, I bring forth new and original ideas that I’ve found myself onto papers, essays, and projects that I’m actually passionate about and enjoy speaking on. I’ve started contributing my spare time to the community as I’ve realized through the fun of participating in clubs, sports, and chatting, that I have a passion for wanting to help out those who need help. I use my body, one within my own, to help out my local animal shelter; assisting with enrichment for cats, petting them, feeding them, and playing with them. Now I know and use my body as my own and something I can utilize to go towards things I have recently found a deep purpose for. Whether that is to continue my career in the sport I love, reading literature materials and taking notes on how, just like the Handmaid’s Tale, these texts can have an influence on my life and thoughts, and contribute to my community.

In the novel, The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood, I was intrigued by the stark difference between the past and present societal laws and gender roles as Offred reflects on her memories while shopping on page 24. She recalls, “Women were not protected then” (24). I found myself agreeing with this statement. Offred’s past is similar to our present. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there can be so much more the government can do to protect its citizens. In a class discussion on gender roles, Ada wrote, “I was sixteen, and I was trapped between him and the wall.” Even as children, women are subjected to sexual harassment, and they are forced to endure it because society has normalized such behavior silently. In today’s world, society suffers from the bystander effect because it doesn’t harm others if they don’t stand up.

Instead, the responsibility is pushed onto the victim. As Offred mentioned, “I remember the rules, rules that were never spelled out but that every woman knew” (24). Then she goes on to list rules that women must follow to keep themselves safe, some of which sound like basic rights, such as “Don’t go into a laundromat, by yourself, at night” (24). This moment made me pause and think about the podcasts of men talking about rape and blaming it on the victim for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, it really shouldn’t be that way; people shouldn’t have to worry about the time of day or location, unless it’s about to rain.

The rule, “keep the locks on and keep going” (24), resonated with me. I remember one day, late on the MFL, this guy in a shaggy black shirt came in on 15th street. He was high and had a knife. Throughout the entire ride, he banged on the back of the chair with the knife. Most of the time, these behaviors are out of our control, and we just have to stay away and keep moving in the opposite direction. Similarly, Aunt Lydia mentioned that in the past, people had the “freedom to” (24). In America, people are given the freedom of expression, which is great. However, there have to be limits on freedom of expression set by the government and acknowledged by the people, which don’t exist. This leads to the normalization of certain negative behaviors and arguments that certain acts of harassment are actually a form of freedom of expression. In today’s society, people are given the freedom to harm others and not be penalized for it.

On the other hand, Gilead has “freedom from” (24), which I feel ambivalent about. On the one hand, there are government regulations that prevent and punish sexual harassment. In the text, Offred states, “Now we walk along the same street, in red pairs, and no man shouts obscenities at us” (24). This system protects women from situations that we see today. They can go outside without the fear that a man will shout at them or harass them. However, this new system works by controlling and oppressing people through fear. This can be seen with the dead bodies hanging from the wall. Offred describes the bodies, “The two others have purple placards hung around their necks: Gender Treachery” (43). By hanging the bodies in public, the government is warning the citizens that they would end up dead if they tried gender treachery or even interacting with the opposite gender. To further discourage the interaction of men and women, the government assigns them gender roles. The women reproduce, cook, buy groceries, and if you were the commander’s wife, you would manage all the female servants. The men worked as guardians, angels, and the commander, who is a man, is in charge of them.

Instead of allowing their citizens to choose their partners, civil roles are assigned to males and females, such as the handmaid and the commander. The role of the handmaid is to have the commander’s and his wife’s baby, nothing more. However, even in a society oppressed of romance and love, there are still “flowering of secret lusts” (136) that happen in the shadows. In a society that is void of love, people start to crave it, as shown by these two examples. The first is when Offred realizes, “It’s lack of love we die from. There’s nobody here I can love, all the people I could love are dead or elsewhere” (103). I find this statement true; everyone needs a sense of love and belonging. It’s a major part of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. In Offred’s case, love and intimacy are taken away from the process of reproduction. There is no emotional bond between her and the commander, and everything is taken as a job. To everyone around her, she is just a “national resource” (65). We can better see this in the second example, after the Commander receives a kiss from Offred. He says, “As if you meant it” (140). He also craved intimacy and love, which he couldn’t achieve in a society that prevents people from forming relationships. He tries in secret with Offred; however, she isn’t allowed to show intimacy, as it’s illegal.

The final line, when Aunt Lydia says, “Don’t underrate it” (24), puzzled me. How can someone support a society that strips away all human needs and rights in exchange for freedom from sexual harassment? In certain ways, Gilead is better than the past. Women are protected in public. However, they are protected as objects for reproduction, not as people. There is a trade-off between safety and freedom that is shown in this section of the text, which, Atwood warns us that if not balanced properly, can lead to societies like Gilead or a worse version of our society.

Confronting The Wall

College English Ms. Pahomov Beau Riviere September 29, 2025

Six chapters into the Handmaids Tale I encountered one scene that made me take a new look and perspective on how humans are intrigued by different sightings. When I read the scene where Offred first describes The Wall and what she was seeing I was in disbelief. 

    She described such a horrific and gruesome image that they were looking at. When she describes it as “there are six more bodies hanging, by the necks, their hands tied in front of them, their heads in white bags tipped sideways onto their shoulders”(32). The detail Offred goes into on how their bodies are positioned after execution is very graphic and gruesome for one to imagine by just reading a book let alone actually seeing this happen right in front of you.

    Then she says “We stop, together as if on signal, and stand and look at the bodies. It doesn’t matter if we look. We’re supposed to look: this is what they are there for”(32). Offred describing how dragged in they got by this scene and how they starred and looked at it made it seem as if it were something impressive to look at, but there was nothing impressive or good about this scene displayed before them to look at. This scene before them was horrendous and I think that's exactly why they were so dragged in to look. 

    As humans when we see something in life that we may think is difficult to view or watch we tend to look at it more and become more intrigued by it. I think this scene is a perfect example of that because just reading this book I got intrigued by a scene that was so graphic and I know I wouldn't want to see it in real life but here I am writing about it because while it is horrifying it is also gravitating and I think Gilead uses this to their advantage.  

    Gilead wants to use these executions and bodies in public as a way to scare the people of Gilead into behaving well and complying with their rules. They want everyone to know that if they get rid of babies or the chance to have a baby that they will be killed and killed in public for everyone to see. 

    Now another way Gilead could go about enforcing the rules about abortion is by giving jail time to people to break them but they know that wouldn't have the impact that execution has. When people go to jail and serve time it's not difficult for people on the outside to see that and accept that and it wouldn't scare them into behaving well and complying with them.  On the other hand, execution leaves a mark that makes it so people can't get it out of their heads and they can't quite get enough of it to stop looking. So by having a punishment that people can't stop looking at and consuming it leaves a print of fear and understanding of consequence in their heads. 

    Offred says “They have committed atrocities and must be made into examples, for the rest”(33).  This quote shows that executions make these men good examples for the rest of what  not to do. When the people of Gilead stare at them, and they will, they get this idea that becomes imprinted in their brains that if they ever try to break the rules and orders of the society that they will pay the ultimate price with their lives.  

    Another thing that execution does in favor of Gilead waiting control is it almost brainwashes the people in society into thinking the way that the government thinks. By showing such gruesome consequences for actions done by these doctors it creates a connection between abortion and terrible consequences for the onlooker to have to the point where the person who keeps looking at The Wall will eventually get the idea that if you are in favor of or have the idea of having an abortion you are thinking the wrong way and committing a terrible act.  This helps Gilead get the people under their control to start to think the way they do which will allow them to not have as much resistance from the citizens. 

    Overall the scene in Chapter 6 where Offred talks about her observing the wall provided me with a new and intriguing view on how big groups of power use violence to persuade and convey the people they are looking to control.

Confronting The Wall

College English Ms. Pahomov Beau Riviere September 29, 2025

Six chapters into the Handmaids Tale I encountered one scene that made me take a new look and perspective on how humans are intrigued by different sightings. When I read the scene where Offred first describes The Wall and what she was seeing I was in disbelief. 

    She described such a horrific and gruesome image that they were looking at. When she describes it as “there are six more bodies hanging, by the necks, their hands tied in front of them, their heads in white bags tipped sideways onto their shoulders”(32). The detail Offred goes into on how their bodies are positioned after execution is very graphic and gruesome for one to imagine by just reading a book let alone actually seeing this happen right in front of you.

    Then she says “We stop, together as if on signal, and stand and look at the bodies. It doesn’t matter if we look. We’re supposed to look: this is what they are there for”(32). Offred describing how dragged in they got by this scene and how they starred and looked at it made it seem as if it were something impressive to look at, but there was nothing impressive or good about this scene displayed before them to look at. This scene before them was horrendous and I think that's exactly why they were so dragged in to look. 

    As humans when we see something in life that we may think is difficult to view or watch we tend to look at it more and become more intrigued by it. I think this scene is a perfect example of that because just reading this book I got intrigued by a scene that was so graphic and I know I wouldn't want to see it in real life but here I am writing about it because while it is horrifying it is also gravitating and I think Gilead uses this to their advantage.  

    Gilead wants to use these executions and bodies in public as a way to scare the people of Gilead into behaving well and complying with their rules. They want everyone to know that if they get rid of babies or the chance to have a baby that they will be killed and killed in public for everyone to see. 

    Now another way Gilead could go about enforcing the rules about abortion is by giving jail time to people to break them but they know that wouldn't have the impact that execution has. When people go to jail and serve time it's not difficult for people on the outside to see that and accept that and it wouldn't scare them into behaving well and complying with them.  On the other hand, execution leaves a mark that makes it so people can't get it out of their heads and they can't quite get enough of it to stop looking. So by having a punishment that people can't stop looking at and consuming it leaves a print of fear and understanding of consequence in their heads. 

    Offred says “They have committed atrocities and must be made into examples, for the rest”(33).  This quote shows that executions make these men good examples for the rest of what  not to do. When the people of Gilead stare at them, and they will, they get this idea that becomes imprinted in their brains that if they ever try to break the rules and orders of the society that they will pay the ultimate price with their lives.  

    Another thing that execution does in favor of Gilead waiting control is it almost brainwashes the people in society into thinking the way that the government thinks. By showing such gruesome consequences for actions done by these doctors it creates a connection between abortion and terrible consequences for the onlooker to have to the point where the person who keeps looking at The Wall will eventually get the idea that if you are in favor of or have the idea of having an abortion you are thinking the wrong way and committing a terrible act.  This helps Gilead get the people under their control to start to think the way they do which will allow them to not have as much resistance from the citizens. 

    Overall the scene in Chapter 6 where Offred talks about her observing the wall provided me with a new and intriguing view on how big groups of power use violence to persuade and convey the people they are looking to control.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wUzGu88L9mIEok3UZmrkyEzIlLxPQfVTtyyhkeMIG2g/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13hiy-VlgHfjQeOv4rrs7omdihd_sCficmtTmhNiW9_Y/edit?usp=sharing

On her way to Offwarren’s birth, Offred is speculating about the conversations that happen between the commander’s wives when the handmaids leave the room. She imagines how they praise and patronize Offwarren when she’s present, feeding her treats and complimenting her physique, but as soon as she is dismissed, their demeanor switches. They call all handmaids whores, and complain about how dirty and disobedient they are. “You take what they hand out, right girls?,” Offred imagines her commander’s wife saying. She imagines Offwarren as well, up in her room; “what does she do? Sits with the taste of sugar still in her mouth, licking her lips. Stares out the window. […] Thinks of nothing.” Offred can play out this whole series of events in great detail, even noting who says what, but this conversation would happen at Offwarren’s house, when no handmaids are present, so how would she have actual proof that a conversation like this would happen? I think this is an example of Offred being a narrator that we should question, and I think this was the author’s intention when Offwarren reassured the reader that she “knows the sort of thing that goes on,” with no further explanation of how she knows.

As she said on page 47, “In this house, we all envy each other.” It seems to me that these personalities and conversations that she makes up for the Commander’s Wives and for Offwarren are a manifestation of her own jealousy. The Commander’s Wives have the freedom to do something she is deprived of; gossip. Perhaps imagining the Commander’s Wives as two faced makes her feel better or righteous about her own isolation. And to imagine Offwarren as absent-minded and complacent, like she’s just a vessel (the “perfect” handmaiden) yet still seen as “less-than” by the Commander’s Wives makes Offred feel less bothered by Serena Joy’s dislike of her.

This scene resonates with me because it highlights how people often fill gaps in knowledge with their own fears and desires. Offred’s narrative is not just a recounting of events, but a window into her mental landscape. Just as Offred imagines the wives’ duplicity and Offwarren’s emptiness, I have found myself imagining the motivations and feelings of others in moments of uncertainty, sometimes projecting my own emotions onto them to make sense of my experience. In this way, Offred’s narration reminds us that stories are not always objective truths, but are often influenced by the narrator’s perspective and emotions.

The word consent has two different types of meaning in my opinion. The first one being willing consent, this consent is more about “yes I want to do this” opposed to pressured consent where you said yes but you really don’t want to.

Offred feels the pressure to complete “her duty” even if it’s something she doesn’t want to do. Very clearly she doesn’t want to do this intimidate act with the commander but she agrees because she feels she has to. In modern times I see pressured consent around parties/rivs, drinking and smoking, we know this as peer pressure. 

“This was supposed to signify that we are one in flesh, one being. What it really means is that she is in control, of the process and thus the product.” (94)

[ This was supposed to signify that I was cool, an outgoing person. What it really means is that I need to been seen as cool, not only to myself, but also my peers.]

Offred’s hope for this to mean something different than it is, shows loss of control and meaning in what she’s pressured to do. I feel this when I go to the riv. I want to feel as cool as the people around me, it supposed to be a turning point in my character where I could be seen as enthusiastic and confident, but in reality I felt out of place and left behind. I see this a lot in kids I talk to about these parties, they say it’s not really fun but there go because all the “cool” people go and have fun, so why shouldn’t they?

”Maybe I’m crazy and this is some new kind of therapy. I wish it were true; then I could get better and this would go away.” (94) [ Maybe I’m boring and this is some new way to unlock something in me. I wish it was true; then I could actually have fun and enjoy my time.]

Offred’s coping mechanism is normalizing what’s happening to her even though it’s not normal nor morally right. My sophomore year I was asked every time if I was going to the riv and I had to say no, every single time. I had a really bad case of fomo (Fear of Missing Out). So come my junior when my parents let me go, I was ecstatic, imagining all the people I would talk to and all the features I would get on people’s story. When I got there I found myself standing in a corner to myself overwhelmed with the situation. I wasn’t feeling ecstatic liked I hoped, people weren’t taking pictures with me liked I hoped. So I convinced myself that this was an normal experience and that I would warm up to this feeling and I’m just acting crazy. I kept going to rivs praying with each one it would change so that I could actually enjoy my time.

”Kissing is forbidden between us. This makes it bearable.” (95) [ Atleast not everyone is crazy drunk or high. This make it bearable.]

Offred very clear is not enjoying this experience so she notes things to herself to make it seem like it could be worse than it actually is, in order to make herself more comfortable. I walked around these rivs looking for someone who wasn’t black out drunk to hangout with and I found maybe two people max, but even them couldn’t stick around, they had something else to accomplish. But atleast 15 minutes of this night was comfortable. I realized that the point of rivs wasn’t for talking and hangout with some alcohol, it was about getting drunk as fast as possible and finding a person to flirt with.

”There is a loathing in her voice, as if the touch of my flesh sickens and contaminates her.” (95) [ There is an inarticulate tone in her voice, as if the feeling of alcohol consumes and overpowers her.]

Offred feels a sense of disgust from the commander’s wife but it stems from her own insecurity of the intimate act she just did. My friend came up to me, she was slurring her speech and speaking in a really high pitched voice, laughing at everything a boy said. This is a side I never saw of her, it wasn’t who she was. She was independent and a man hater but something about this party culture and alcohol switch something off in her. I thought, how embarrassing and pathetic it seemed. As the night moved on I found myself doing that exact same thing and suddenly here I was feeling embarrassed and pathetic.

Through examining Offred’s experience in The Handmaid’s Tale alongside the pressures of modern party culture, it becomes clear that consent exists on a spectrum far more complex than a simple yes or no. Both Offred and countless young people today find themselves saying “yes” to situations they fundamentally don’t want to participate in, driven by social expectations, fear of exclusion, or the desperate hope that compliance will eventually lead to genuine enjoyment or acceptance. The parallel between Offred’s rationalization of her traumatic experiences and the way I convince myself that uncomfortable party situations are “normal” reveals how pressured consent operates across different contexts and time periods. The underlying dynamic remains the same: when choice is constrained by social pressure, fear, or the desire for belonging, true consent becomes impossible. Understanding this distinction between willing and pressured consent is crucial for recognizing these patterns in our own lives and creating spaces where genuine choice can exist.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1x37jcfJV0lQGBQnWsIk0gTIUZB2d2CpQy1xohPSnVYk/edit?usp=sharing

While reading “The Handmaid’s Tale” By Margaret Atwood I was able to pinpoint my own emotions that aligned with the protagonist Offred throughout the pages 50, 51, and 52. This small section includes Offred’s space and the thoughts that live there alongside her. She speaks about taking the time and appreciating her room. She is left with a lot of responsibility but even more time. So when she can finally call her room, hers she takes the chance to analyze each corner, and crack in the wall. “There has to be some space, finally, that I claim as mine, even in this time” (50). Offred has finally accepted her room as hers, not just a room. I feel myself through this moment as I am very particular about my space. My room represents me in every which way, and I wouldn’t be able to call in mine unless I truly felt I belonged. I moved from my childhood room to my older brother’s when he went to college. I had a new space and wasn’t sure how to fill it in a way that would make it feel like mine. Over the years I have hung new items from the walls, ceilings, bookshelves, etc. I live under a canopy of pictures, paintings, postcards, and polaroid pictures. All of which make my space, mine. Offred speaks about hotel rooms, the freedom and experience that comes with them and how she regrets not being able to appreciate those moments now. “How I wasted them, those rooms, that freedom from being seen.” (50). There are many moments in my life I look back on and know I will never get to experience again. Like the freedom of being a child, only worrying about my next playdate and what my dad packed in my lunch. I crave the lack of responsibility I had and there are times I wish I could go back to experience that freedom all over again with more appreciation. This feeling is frustrating and when it comes along there isn’t much to do. Offred’s life was taken from her so suddenly, all of her norms disappeared and the freedom she had was ripped from her. Looking back on all she had, she wishes she could go back just to experience it again, with much more gratitude. It’s hard to really acknowledge that the moments we live through are crucial until we eventually know we will never be able to live those memories again. Nostalgia is a very powerful feeling, it’s connected to what we once knew and comes suddenly creating an overwhelming sense of happiness, sadness, grief, and appreciation. It’s something you can find while sitting on the train not giving your mind any boundaries to reminisce, or through smelling the perfume of your preschool teacher on a stranger, or through finding a song you played on repeat during a rough time in your life while your playlist is on shuffle. Offred is left with heaps of time with only memories to keep her entertained, she describes the feeling of nostalgia when thinking about her husband Luke. “I have them, these attacks of the past, like faintness, a wave sweeping over my head” (52). This is what nostalgia feels like to me. Missing something I once had, reminiscing, remembering. The physical emotion makes you want to put a hand over your chest and rest your eyes, feel the moment all over again. While exploring the closet in her small room, Offred finds a message engraved into the hardwood floor. It reads in a language she doesn’t understand, but the pure fact it was there in the first place sent hope coursing through her. “It was intended for whoever came next” (52). Offred believes that this very note was a sign, had a purpose, and was meant to be seen by someone like her. This little bit of hope helps her stay positive. Similarly, I look for things that are small specs of hope in my life. Little signs from the universe. Most likely they are coincidences, chance, or won’t affect me at all. But locking eyes with my lucky number gives me a small pang of comfort. Sometimes it’s nice to take things as a sign, see a message and make it for you. Apply it to your life and give yourself an inside joke.
` There are many ways I could connect to this book, but through this section, going through her thought process I could see myself in the pages. I think in a very similar way and I feel even in this small section where the reader walks through not only Offred’s space but also her mind makes it easy to connect with this part of the character.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SpnItcEEcYvHjFx9XhOjTe9AL4AW-ZO3eWJpO30nvXI/edit?tab=t.0