Embarrassed, I am. This year was a flunk. Do I regret
anything? Of course I do, but I'm not going to sit here and sob about it the
last week of school. A repeated action of lying, bickering, and for what? To be
sitting here in my loneliness of bad grades and avoided relationships. I
haven't been a good sport, but I am only human.
One of my favorite quotes is, "Grades don't
reflect intelligence, they reflect work ethic." A quote bringing a high
self-esteem to a person who feels as though he doesn't have a meaning. A
purpose. The honest truth is that I don't feel intelligent. I know I don't have
a great work ethic, and my grades show that, but even if recognition for a
completed assignment is given, it's not enough. There are still pieces of the
puzzle missing.
Walking into Sophomore year was simple. Put a
smile on, pay attention, do the work, get good grades. Simple. Just like
everything else. But, soon after I discovered how lenient I "thought"
my teachers were, the slacking began. It's true when the students say,
"You can't spell Slacker without SLA!" I was a slacker. Still am, at
times. Considering the fact that I was so dedicated to passing and making an
impression, it baffled me that my grades started to slip, and it confused me
even more when I didn't care.
I generated creative ideas for each assignment
that was given to me, I just never followed through. Week-after-week,
month-after-month, it was nothing but disappointments. Ones from my teachers,
ones from my parents, ones from myself. Tackling something that is outside of
your box is more than changeling. It's mind-juggling. Every idea was
extraordinary. Something that would give me a 20/20. I was excited. Filled with
joy when that final thought was created. But, procrastination took over and
molded me into something that I wasn't. I would say that Social Media is to
blame, but actually, I am to blame. Everything is/was my decision. I decided to
not turn in work; I decided to leave class for 30 minutes. No one is going to
force me to do anything. It's my responsibility to make sure I am doing the
best I can, and none of my capability and potential was shown through the
half-ass effort.
This past school year has been an adventure. It
wasn't a pleasant one, but I can't change the past and most certainly will not
dwell in it. My journey has taught me the value things may have. I envied
people who were better at things than I was. I'm not skilled in math. I'm not
skilled in Spanish, but that's okay. Piers of mine who received A's in classes,
that I got a C in, were just trying to the best of their ability. I'm strong in
many things that straight A students aren't, and thats valuable. I have to know
that I'm not going to be Superman at everything, so I can't beat myself up over
something that can't be altered. I may have messed up a few times, but I know
how to fix the mistakes. Writing this short essay, made me realize the
importance and significance of my talents and where they can lead me. I am an
individual who sees things metaphorically and artistically. I can't compute
variables in an equation and I can't translate a sentence only using a Spanish
dictionary. From now on, I know to try my best and be the person I truly am,
because it's the only thing that will be my aid in the following journeys.