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E1 U2 SLA Promo(Aminah,Khaliq,Joanna)
Elena Smith Monologue
I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, it was supposed to be easy and quick and you weren’t supposed to be in so much pain. You weren’t supposed to look like this, all sad and alone with so many damned tubes coming out of you. You’re family, I didn’t- I don’t want you to suffer. You understand, right? There’s just been so much going on in the family, you know how all our siblings were rushing around, trying to pick and choose which part of the company they wanted, laying down and worshipping Father and trying to get him to name them heir, as if would let anyone run the company except for me. But you probably didn’t notice any of that. Your head is always in the clouds.
It’s funny, right? He’s always been a terrible person and an even worse father but who cares anymore? He was dying and all of us flocked to him before his death just to get more money from him, from his stupid company. I’m supposed to forgive him just because he’s dying “before his time?” After all he’s done to us- he was never around and when he was it was- it was- well, who cares anymore, right? The idiot is dead, no thanks to you. You were never part of this, you know that? You weren’t supposed to be there, it was just going to be him all alone, already dying. It would’ve been easier that way, no one would’ve suspected it anyway. A dying man dying a little quicker? Everything would’ve been wrapped up neatly with a little bow.
But instead you were there and you saw and you- it’s your fault you’re like this! You were always sneaking into places you shouldn’t’ve been in, always finding new passages and exploring the house. I don’t know why I keep talking as if you’re dead. The doctors said you would be fine, that when you woke up there wouldn’t be any brain damage. That’s why I’m here, actually. That and Mom keeps yelling at me for not visiting you in the hospital. But mainly the first reason. Because if you do wake up, when you do wake up, you’ll remember everything. And if you remember everything it could make things very very complicated, and then I couldn’t rule the company anymore and Mom would be sad and I’d be in jail for the next couple decades. So, now I have to do this. For the future of this company. For the future of this family.
You never got it, never understood. You’re too young to understand what happened, what I did and why I had to do it. I was always meant to be his heir, and our siblings laying down at his feet for table scraps did nothing to change that. But he was taking so long to actually die, and he wasn’t of sound mind and his business partners were taking advantage of that, trying to get him to raise their salaries or invest in bad decisions. If anything, I did him a favor, ending him early. A favor to him and to his company. To my company.
Where was I again? Oh yea, I have to figure out what to do about you. About you maybe getting better. But you can’t get better, because even if you think you can keep a secret, kids always run their mouth off and I don’t see why you’ll be any different. It’s gonna be easy and you’re not gonna hurt that much, I promise. I’ve already bribed some doctor to slip you something, something that’ll make sure you won’t feel any pain. Even though I put you here, I still don’t want you to suffer. You’re my little sister, and you’re barely even 10. I practically raised you, since Mom and Dad were always out of the house. I always did what was right for you, and that’s what I’m trying to do now. For what it’s worth, I’ll miss you, Kelly. Everyone will.
SLA Debate at PFYD Voices Tournament
Mikey's Dog Died
I am walking home with my mom from school talking about my day` like normal parents, but she told me that she had some bad news. “What is it?” I said to her, (sky gets cloudy and dark)
And then a voice from a distance ¨It looks like it’s going to rain,” (Lightning and thunder) “RUN!!!” I SCREAM on top of my lungs. “We´ve made it home. Phew, that was close”, I said,
(starts to rain)
When me and my mom got home, I´ve found out that the bad news was that my dog Ben had died. “Awww, RIP. Ben was a good dog. I’ve had him all of my life! Mom, this is the second worst day ever! When Emily died, I never thought that anything bad would ever happen like this again. But it did! I’m just happy that he died peacefully in his sleep, and that he was just old and not sick. But what am I going to tell Jessica, Jenny, Alexis, and Liz? They loved Ben too! I think I want to be alone now! I go to my room. (I slam the door in my room and talked to my self I had remembered those good days with Ben and me) AND… I miss Emily as well as Ben. At least we have an alarm system for burglars so the cops came as soon it has gone off and Emily was in front of the door and that is how she got killed and he did not steal anything in our house and he had gotten arrested for 50 years for attempting to steal stuff and killing my youngest sister (Emily) If this happens to you, you can do the same thing as me (Mikey) I hate my life but I love my sisters even if they are annoying but, I don’t care. I know how Teenagers are like sometimes.
Give it a second try
Hey sarah, I know you are doing homework right now in class but I need some advice. There is this girl that I like and I don't know if i should ask her out. what should I do because when I asked out Emily she said no, she said she would never like me, she said I am ugly, she told me to kill myself. What should I do? I been thinking to myself about rather if I should ask her out. This new girl every time she looks at me I know she is the one. Every time she hangs out with me I know and she knows that she is the one for me. This girl is always giving me compliments on my looks and how I am so nice and when I meet the right person I will know. This girl is the beautifulest girl I ever meet and I get to see her everyday in class. she always smell good. If she ever leave I would be very sad that I don't get to see her anymore. Maybe she is trying to tell me that, that person is her. I don't know which way to take the information that she has given me. If I ask her out and she says no, Then she says she was talking about someone else and not her it makes me feel like an idiot. But if I don't ask her and she was talking about her I will never know how she feels about me. Maybe I should ask Chris for some advice. Why are you looking at me like that, you should be telling me that someone will love me one day. Or how I should ask this girl out that I been talking about. Can you at least tell me how should I dress or how would you like me to dress. Maybe I shouldn't ask sarah that, she might know I like her I should just stop thinking about love. No one's ever going to like me. even worse, no one is ever going to love me. Maybe I should just take Emily advice and just go kill myself. Or should I just give it one more try maybe there's actually someone out there for me. You know what maybe Emily was right. I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and I'm retarded. I should just go die, no one's going to love me why don't I just stick it in my head, why don't I just go run away and live in the forest where no one can ever see my ugly face again. You know what maybe I should go talk to her maybe I should ask her why did she say all those mean things to me was it because I'm weird or is it because all those things are actually true. Sarah sarah… why are you Ignoring me Maybe she doesn't like me anymore maybe she heard so much of my problems and it finally got to her that she doesn't care. She wants to talk about herself or maybe she's trying to tell me just ask her out. Forget it maybe I should just go home. I think I'm going inside my head I should think outside the box I just ask her out. Artifact forget it Sarah do you want to go out with me, Oh my God she said yes this whole time I was thinking she was going to say no. Where do I start what do I do what do I say. The first thing I'm going to do is take her on a date then We're going to have sex and we're going to have for kids and then the journey will take us from there.
When we love. (English Monologue)
I’ve never been good at talking about how I’m feeling, and I think it’s because I feel too much, and if I tried to explain how I feel when he touches me is like my heart trying to escape from my ribcage so it can be free to love him completely, it’d come out wrong.
He was from Alabama. Birmingham to be exact. He was so full of soul, and even though he wasn't perfect, he was enough. He claimed to have a cold heart, always pushing me away, and I guess when he poured his love into me, he was pouring ice. I didn't mind it though.
He was a drug dealer. He claimed to fancy getting high more than getting intoxicated to numb his pain. I knew he drank every once in a while but I wasn't going to judge him. I'd smell it on his breath when he would come through my window at 3 am, fending for my love and affection.
He had his way with words and even though he wasn't much of a talkative person, he'd always hit me with a ton of words. He wrote poems, hearing them when he was high was heaven on earth. He was an introvert, He was depressed. He told me how he felt alone in a room full of his peoples.
He lied a lot, he lied so much that I knew when he was lying. yeah, he was good at writing and laying low, but he was a damn good liar. He never lied when we had our 3AM talks when we talked about our desires and things that urged seriousness. anything else, he'd lie about. he hated how transparent he seemed to me, but I loved it.
He's considerate and that's what got my parents to adore him. Not many people will spare someone's feelings, but he does it all the time. He stops himself from doing many things because he knows that I wouldn’t approve. But the other half, I can't blame him for trying to survive. He barely pulled a smile, but when he did, it was a beautiful sight.
He was insecure too and the weed didn't help at all. His insecurities spoke for him and there were many of them, they consumed him. He was paranoid, which is why I often caught him sneaking into my room, through my window at odd times. He was a good person, just learning, that's all. We cling to music, to poems, to quotes, to writing just to not feel as alone, we don't want to be alone because the feelings are still there even when the courage isn’t.
One night, as I held him close to me, he asked me, "would you die for me?" it caught me off guard and before I could think about the question, to give him an answer, he brought me from my thoughts. "naw, that's too easy, would you live for me?" and the truth is, as long as he goes through hell and back for me, I'm going to be his closure, his release.
On The Run
Brrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrr
(Jaylen) can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a message
“I-I know this is sudden and you probably don’t want to speak to me, b-but I just want to explain.”
When I came to Lakeshore High, you were the only person that was nice to me. Not to mention the fact that you were gorgeous. I was never meant to get close to you or become friends.
I never knew it would get this far. I never knew you would be the one. And although things are different now and you will never forgive me, you still are the one and only one for me.
Truth is, there was a lot of things I wasn't telling you. My mom was struggling, running from my dad who almost killed her several times. I know I masked my issues and told you I was only upset because I missed my friends back in Florida. Truth is, I didn’t really have any friends. I was use to not having them so I tried to keep my distance from anyone… that is ..until I met you. I’ve never really belonged anywhere. I moved around with my mom to protect her from my father. He has ruined my life in more ways than you could ever understand. I know hearing this you’ll think I’m a liar, but not telling you was my way of protecting you. I mean what if my dad found us and found you? I couldn’t have anything happen to you.
I was going to tell you though. I thought I was finally free from my father and this unbreakable, terrifying silence. Two years was the longest I’ve ever stayed anywhere. It brought me joy to wake up every morning and not wonder if my mom is still down the hall sleeping peacefully, or if I would choke from breathing in the extreme and intoxicating smell of liquor and cigarettes. I thought it was my time to be happy. But, I should’ve known better than that. I let the weight be lifted off my shoulders prematurely. Being as naive as I was, I thought the weight disappeared, but all I did was pass them over to my mom. She started to worry more as I became more reckless. I ignored it, but she was crumbling under the weight of our worries and fear. I shouldn’t have gotten comfortable. I’m not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me, I just want you to understand that it was no one’s fault but mine.
On your birthday,everything went to shit. You were having your party and I was so excited to go. My mom never really relaxed, but that day, she smiled in a way I barely recognized.. She was happy that I was finally happy. I knew more than ever that she wished she could’ve given me a normal childhood. From there you know that story, we had a blast. I left your house around 1:00 in the morning. The best night of my life. But I could almost see my peace and happiness fly out of the door when I got home to my crying, shaking, and petrified mother. I saw the letter in front of her. If I can’t have you, no one can! Taped to a brick that laid amongst the remnants of my front window. I don’t know when the note came, but at that point, all I could think, feel, breathe, was anger. I was happy, you were my happiness. I couldn’t..we couldn’t leave again. She knew it as much as I.
Once more I was afraid and I knew I couldn’t leave my mom alone again. That's why I was missing so many days of school. Not because of doctors or dentists appointments, or workouts or any other lame reason I used to spare you from worrying. It was Sunday night, June 2nd. I came home from the gym to see three bullet holes in my living room walls. I walked to the basement and found him with his shotgun. My mom on the floor crying. He was drunk, again, and delirious.
You left me! I told you I didn't want you to leave and you left! Without saying goodbye! With MY son! You are the devil! Go back to hell!
That anger that I had been at bay for two years, took over my body. I couldn’t think straight anymore. I heard the gunshot. Was that it? Did he really kill her? All that running and hiding, for nothing? Everything lay quiet and still. Then I saw blood gushing from dear old daddy’s head as he lay dead on the floor. Was he drunk enough to shoot himself? How stupid. Then I saw my mom stand up, and take the shotgun from my hands.
We have to go. I won’t let you go to jail for me.
I had no idea why she said that. No idea that it was me who pulled the trigger.
Here I am. In Spain, calling you. I love you, I’ve always loved you. I’ve played how this conversation would happen in my head at least 300 times already. But I think I have come to terms with the fact that it will never happen in person… because I don’t think I will ever see you again. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not saying this to have you pity me, I just thought I owed you an explanation. I---
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Fly Me to the Moon
My name’s Harry and I think I’m really scared of dying. I hatched about ten months ago now which, I guess, means it could happen any day now. I know people talk about us, I know about the stereotypes, and they can be kind of funny sometimes. They see one of us circling a streetlamp for a few nights in a row, they say something about it. They think that it’s such a ridiculous concept; being able to hunker down and admire a light you’re particularly fond of for a while, but I think people don’t like to think about how beautiful light can be. They like to think that we’re pulled to it by some sort of instinct or subconscious voice, but lights are really just… I don’t know. If you find a really good one that you don’t think you’ll get bored of, you can fly around it all night and pass out in the morning every day for who knows, your whole life! I never found a light that I liked that much. Well actually, there was this one beautiful neon sign in front of a Chinese take-out place once. I really loved that one. Sometimes I liked to pretend that she was talking to me and singing songs like people or cicadas. I liked this one human song that was about the moon and I liked the moon, so I was interested in the song. It sort of went like um “fly me to the moon let me sing forever more” and then there’s a bit that I forget and then “in other words please be true, in other words I love you” and the song does that a few times before being over. Sorry, I’m not a great singer. I tried to get a cricket friend of mine to play it once but he couldn’t get the notes right. But eventually the store ran out of business. They just left with everything one, day. Including my light.
I remember my last few days with her really vividly. Flies used to come by and buzz around for a bit, but I never got too close to any of them. They always died after two or three days, laying eggs in dog shit out on the pavement, making small talk. “Must be nice to be a moth, having those big wings”. They were always out of breathe from having to flap so much, their tiny wings could barely keep them up. Whenever they’d say something like that, I’d want to reply with… I don’t know what. I think I’d like to see the sun sometime so I’d want to say that they can see the sun and I can’t so… yeah. My eyes are really sensitive so I can’t be out during the day, when the sun is awake. I didn’t even know about her before I saw this sign in front of a human daycare with a big yellow sun on it. She had a big smile and black glasses on, so I think I’d like to maybe try and talk to her. I wouldn’t even have to pretend since she has a mouth. Maybe she’s way up high like the moon so I would have to fly for a while to see her. My buddy Marvin said he flew to the moon once after I told him about that human song but he smelled like fungus so I’m not sure if that really happened. Maybe there are mushrooms on the moon though.
Of course there is always the possibility that she could be the ugliest light I’ve ever seen. One time I was staying in this closet and everything got really hot and I couldn’t really see so I flew out of the house and it was like one huge candle. At first she was really beautiful, I had to fly across the street since she was way too hot for comfort, but she was definitely like in my top ten lights I’ve ever seen. After a little while she just kept getting brighter and it got to be way too much. I hadn’t seen a light before that was too bright. I hadn’t even known that was a thing. Then these other red and blue lights came and they were also much too bright. They were loud too. I hadn’t known a light to make any type of noise before and it was comforting to hear one talk but she didn’t sound very happy with me.
So maybe it’s good I can’t see the sun. Most of us learn to be happy with the moon, and whatever lights we meet in the night. That’s when most of the good lights are out anyway. It doesn’t sound fun being up and about when there’s only one light that’s really around. I don’t think the humans even like her; there’s no “fly me to the sun”. I don’t think I’m going to ever not be afraid to die. I think I’m ok not seeing the sun before I do, though.
Marigolds - ENG2 Monologue
I remember when I was very young, and I was playing in your garden. I can vividly picture the Marigolds you were growing. They were red and orange, they were as vibrant as you were. I remember you holding me in your long arms, as I played with your dark hair. When I look at you now, I do not see her.You are not my grandmother; You have lost your beautiful hair. Who has taken your life away?
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.It’s my fault, really. Mom’s visited you dozens of times and I’ve come up with an excuse not to go with her every single time. I think the last time I saw you was two years ago on your birthday, right around when you began treatment. All of your hair was gone - and you were so weak.I was terrified. I remember going home and crying for hours after seeing you. I didn’t want to think about you being sick, I didn’t want to think about losing you.
I want to apologize for not writing letters to you. How do you write to someone who’s dying? Dear Grandma, how’s the chemotherapy? How much weight have you lost? How much longer do you have left to live?
Grandma, I can’t look at you. I don’t even want to think about the tubes and needles this hospital’s stuck inside of you.
God, this hospital.
It took me almost half an hour to find your room! This place is a hedge maze of diagnoses and spinal taps. This place smells like formaldehyde , and the fluorescent lights are giving me a migraine! You wanna know something? A few months ago I took the bus by myself for two hours straight to get here.I talked to that woman at the front desk who reeks of perfume --- and you know what? Before she could tell me what room you were in, I left. I took the bus back home, and thought to myself -- what was I thinking? I knew even before I left that I would end up turning back.
Is it selfish that the only reason I’ve visited you today is because you’re in a coma -- Because you have no possible way of responding? I swear, if I knew that you would get this sick I would have come earlier, I swear. It’s just hard for me. I hate seeing you like this. I can’t imagine how you must feel -- though. I bet everyone is treating you like a child. I know that’s not who you are. I know for a fact that all of these gifts in here aren’t making you any happier. I don’t know why anyone thought that teddy bears and cheap Hallmark cards would make you any better. I should’ve been here to offer you something thoughtful, even if it was just talking to you, or playing the music that you used to play for me when I was younger.
I’m sorry.
Anyway, I’ve brought you flowers. I know you can’t see them right now, but I hope that when you wake up, you’ll see them and know that I was here. They’re marigolds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JeTjDLP-5I
Hillary's monologue
Hey Mom and Dad, I'm DONE
Hi mom. What’s up? You don’t usually call around this time.
Oh, you can’t make it? Ok.
No, it’s ok. I’m not surprised.
Love you too.
[hangs up]
You know, I would be more upset about this if I did not have Jane and Noah. Sometimes I wish Jane was my mother. She watched me grow up, hugged me when I was in need and gave me a shoulder to cry on. Unlike you mother. Do you not love me? Getting emotional, I just go up on the roof and look at the sky, which made me think of Noah. Every since we were young, that was our spot to go to where we could talk to each other about ANYTHING. I could talk to Jane too, but I felt more comfortable with Noah.
Father with you at the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the hospital, you are always on the go. While mom is away for conferences, it seems like I’m not that important to you anymore. When you are both home you are asleep, then the next day there is money and a note on the kitchen table always saying the same thing…...
“Morning Liv, sorry to have missed you this morning. However, we will see you this weekend. We left Jane with instructions for dinner over the next couple of days and anything you need just let her know.”
I give you guys a call, but I should have known a voicemail would appear.
“Please record your message after the beep.” “BEEP!”
No, it’s ok. I’m not surprised.
Love you, see you soon--- not, I ended with laughter.
I used to get so excited on Tuesdays and Wednesdays because it was a chance for me to talk to my parents. You would ask about school, my poetry I enjoyed writing and soccer. You are not the most perfect parents but at least you used to keep up with my activities. Now I have to constantly remind you what’s going on because “you are too busy.” “Did you get the gifts we sent last week while we were away?” They ask. Or as I call them, the “I’m sorry gifts.
I wondered if my nanny and brother who already has a busy schedule including attending medical school can make an effort to support me, you guys can too.
June 13th, 2018, the day I would be graduating. A very important and exciting time for me. I knew for sure Noah and Jane would be there, but I wasn’t sure if you both would even show up. Showing up in the last five minutes of the ceremony would even make me happy. In my mind there's this place called, “What-If Land.” In this land I think of how life would be if Noah and Jane were my parents. Jane is my nanny, someone who is just employed to care for me. She does not have to spend time with me, but she chooses to. Not only does she keep up with me and my activities, but the house duties as well. She does the things you supposed to do. I am not only talking about me, what about Noah---our family. You call yourself a mother but are you? Think about it, do you bring unity and structure to our family; and dad where are YOU. All around the world saving other people and their children, but what about me! Noah has been more of a father figure than you ever had.
“Olivia, Olivia, your parents are on the phone ?” Jane yelled
Something had to be going on. It was not normal for you to call around this time. Hearing that you could not come see me graduate did not bother me as much as I thought it would. I mean I cried for about a second but after 18 years of the same excuses, I’ve grown used to the disappointments.
Any second now your going to say “ I’m sorry.” So how about this, I AM SORRY that you call yourself parents, I AM SORRY that I will never look up to you like I do Noah and Jane. And sincerely, I AM TRULY SORRY that Noah and I could never fit into your schedule. I know now that work is a priority and your family and children are minorities.
Who is my character speaking to?
Her parents
Why is it urgent they speak now:
If her parents do not engage in conversation now, they may potentially lose their daughter forever.
Powers
(In a bedroom) ( look down at hands) I can see and feel the power pulsing through my veins. My Psychic powers are starting to get more and more powerful than I can handle. I can hold it for now but I don't know how long I can before it becomes too much for me. When I first got them I didn't know what it was and how to use it. The first time my powers started to go haywire was when I was outside in the backyard relaxing and then my powers went out of control I started to spew psychic power everywhere and it wouldn't stop. But I was able to stop it and was able to get them under control. I didn't ask for these powers at all, yet I got them for some reason and I don't even know who or where I got them from. I tried to ask my parents but I was afraid they would leave me, not believe I have these powers or give me to the government which they might test on me and use me for whatever until the day I die. These powers that I have, had been more of a curse than a blessing. I feel more like a monster in this world than a normal person with these powers. I Feel like I could explode with power at any moment and I wouldn't be able to stop it from happening. I want to ask for help but if I ask someone what to do about this or even tell them they would probably see me as a Freak, a dangerous person, a monster or like I said before give me to the government. I could tell Ryan he is my best friend and I usually tell him anything, he's usually a chill person with these types of things. (Outside) Ryan look these powers aren't bad they can be used for good we just need to know what good I can use it for, look ill show you that these powers are not bad, look at the trash can. ( Starts to lift up a trash can) ( starts breathing heavily trying to keep trash can up, Starts to shake) ( Screams in pain, the sound of energy being released everywhere) ( Trashcan shakes violently and gets launched close to the friend) ( Sound effect of an object hitting something) Ryan, I`m sorry about that, that trash can could of hit you, good thing it didn`t though. ( Nervous laughing) . Ryan, what are you doing? Ryan, please wait don't go I need you. You're the only person I can talk to about this. You said that you would stay with me no matter what. ( Sound effect of someone running away) When he was running away he told me to stay away from him and his family and not try to come after him. I haven't seen him or his family since that day of the incident. It`s Probably the best for him if I can't control these powers who know what could happen to people or even me. I could destroy the world. I could destroy humanity. I could destroy the whole entire universe if my powers are strong enough. Anything could happen and I wouldn't be able to stop it or anything cause I wouldn't know how to stop it or how to delay it. I just want somebody to know what to do about these powers and what to do with them but its probably never gonna happen. They would probably react the same way that Ryan did when he saw my powers.
Canavan-Nickell Caesar
Canavan
It’s a boy! I’m gonna be the best dad ever, I love children, I and my girlfriend have been trying to have a kid for three years now. This is the closest we’ve ever gotten. After all the failed attempts and pregnancy tests, it’s finally going to happen. My life wasn’t always as happy and cheerful though, I grew up in Philadelphia to a single mother who had three kids that she busted her ass every day to support, we didn’t get to go to DisneyWorld or get to go to school with the new Jordans and Nikes, but we got through. My father’s absence forced me to be the man of the house. Even though my mom owned everything, someone had to make sure she was taken care of since obviously that deadbeat you call a father wasn’t capable enough to step up and be a real man.
I’m going to be a dad now, and I swear to God, I won’t ever be like my father. I got through college without him, learned how to drive without him, went to prom without him, got my first job without him, I did all of this without him, and I’ll surely get through this pregnancy without him.My child will never worry about when his father will come back or if they will go to bed hungry, or if it was their fault for me walking out.
Everything was starting to look up for me until I get the news that shook up my entire world. Our unborn child was going to be born with Canavan Disease, but how? I feel so helpless and weak, I should be able to protect my child and I can’t even do that! Canavan, It’s an extremely rare disease, that damages the ability of nerve cells in the brain to send and receive messages. As far as I know, nobody in either of our family’s has a history of this disease. The doctor says that he is expected to live only through his childhood. All the things that I was supposed to accomplish with my child, won’t be happening. He won’t even have a chance to go prom, shave, or date a girl, he’s getting cheated out of all of these things. I know for a fact that all the school kids won’t go easy on him either, kids are extremely cruel, and he’ll be ridiculed, I don’t know how either of us will be able to take it. I don’t know what to do, my world feels like it’s collapsing and there’s no way to stop the inevitable destruction, I can only watch.
But maybe this whole predicament isn’t the end of the world, God does everything for a reason, so there must be a reason for this happening. It’s been my dream to have a child of my own and start my family, and now that I’m getting the chance I’m having doubts? Seriously? I’m finally going to be able to have a child, I’m not gonna give up on this child just because of some disability, I’m not like my dad was and never will be. I’ll make all the short years with my child the best he’s ever had. Some tasks and activities might take more effort and time, but it’ll be worth it in the end. I love my unborn child unconditionally and always will. I hope that he knows daddy will never walk out or give up on him, I hope that he knows I’ll be there through all my hardships and never put my stress on top of his. Thanks, Dad, for nothing. I’ll always do everything in my power not to be like you.
Pain by Brielle Thompson
I know you may be wondering why I am standing in front of you guys. You all most likely know me, but for the ones who do not, my name is Angela Williams. We have been going to school together since 9th grade. To get a better understand of who I am, I’m the girl who was shoved into a locker and made fun of for the whole 10th grade of high school. I bet yall know who I am now. (chuckle)
Well I need to tell you about what has happened since then.
You might have noticed that I left school for a while. I was going through so much and trying to hide it was starting to become harder and harder for me. After getting bullied in school everyday I couldn’t take it anymore so I planned on dropping out and running away. I felt like I wasn’t worth anything. I attempted suicide a couple times, I just felt like I didn’t deserve life. And I damn sure ain’t sign up for this.
Not only was I going through problems in school, I was having family problems. My family was neglecting me and it was like I was nobody to them. My mother treated me so bad. ( pause, take deep breath) I’m sorry this is my first time really telling anyone this. But my mother got pregnant with me by an accident. She only wanted my brother and that is the way she treated us. He was her world and I was just there. If it wasn’t for my grandma I wouldn’t be. She always would tell me that she don’t want me, she don’t understand why I am still in her life and things like that. There was a time when she told me we were going to the movies and that I could go, I thought that was the first step of her improving and starting to become the actually mother I wanted her to be. Believe it or not but once we got to the theater she told me I had to pay for myself knowing I didn’t have any money. I was 12 years old where did she think i was going to get money from. I had to sit outside of the theater in the cold while they went in to see the movie. That was the type of mother I had. I got tired of it and gave her her wish, I finally ran away.
When I ran away from home, I attempted to slit my wrists in a parking lot. Lucky for me, there was a lady that walked by me and stopped. She talked me out if doing this to myself and called the police for help.
I tell you all of this today to inform you guys that you will get up out of your struggles no matter what. As a young adult you have to know the value of yourself and understand that you are worth the world, even in your worst situations. You have to learn to love yourself because no one else can love you if you can’t love yourself first. I have learned that everything has happened for a reason and if it doesn’t go as plan you just don’t take that L. Look at it in a positive way, think of taking a L as a LESSON and NOT a LOSS. You will have a lot of people that is going to install different things into your head some being negative but you have to learn to be strong and get yourself up out that struggle . For those struggling with insecurities, low self esteem, and depression I just want you to know that you are beautiful, you can do anything you put your mind to, you are strong and you are worth the world. When you think about these things your mind automatically think its a girl going through these struggles but that is not true guys go through this also and I want y'all to know that this speech is for the guys out there too. And yes it comes off as if my focus is for the ones struggling with problems within themselves but it’s for everyone. Everyone is worth something and you may not be sure what that something is but believe me god will come thru keep ya head up and be blessed
Ezekiel
Laura taps on the screen, her head tilted to the side with a quizzical expression on her face.
Is this thing on? The red light means it’s recording, right?
Alright, well… where do I start?
My surroundings must look familiar, huh? Yep! This is going to be your room! I finished painting it a few days ago, but it took a little while for the fumes to leave. Ezekiel, at the time I’m filming this, you are… about a week away from coming to term. It’s exciting, isn’t it? The concept of life, how it’s ever-changing and evolving, how everything on this planet is put here for a reason. It’s a cycle, they say. If I told your father I thought that way, he’d probably kill me, haha. All ‘god made us this’ and ‘we do this for that!’
Oh, I haven’t even introduced myself! Well… my name is Laura. I’m your mommy! And right now, you’re in my stomach, which in retrospect is kind of odd now that I say that out loud, hah… I guess It’s confusing that I’m even leaving you this tape. You probably have so many questions at the moment, and I wish I could answer them all. If you’re getting this, Auntie Maya has decided that you’re ready. Well- what does that mean? Haha, I should clear that up.
Laura scratches her cheek nervously, her index and middle fingers drumming on her lap.
I asked my friend Maya to give this to you when she believed you were ready to know the truth. Knowing your father, he probably never let you know what happened to me. I… The doctors tell me I’m not going to pull through. It’s my anemia, it’s gotten worse in the past few months, things are getting scarce. And… I’m really sorry, Ezekiel. That’s why I’m leaving you this tape. So you know who mommy was and how much she loves you! Your father was furious when he found out I might not make it… He blamed himself for me being so sickly. It’s not his fault, Ezekiel. The lord does everything for a reason. And if I have to give up my life to have you nourish and grow on this planet, so be it!
You… you’re going to be born into some very confusing things. Ezekiel, I need you to know that the things daddy and the cult do aren’t normal. I think I really wanted to believe that when I was young and dumb, and I first met him. He seemed like such a wonderful man, and I thought he saved me from a lot of things! Then, one day, he started telling me about all of these strange ideas… How he was a prophet sent to do god’s work, how he had ‘visions’ of how the world was supposed to be… He told me of a group he was gathering together. At first, I tried not to mind it. Now I regret my neglect, seeing the awful things it’s led up to.
Killing other humans isn’t normal. Your father might have tried to convince you it is, but it isn’t. Trust me when I say, your father isn’t killing for a mission. He kills because he likes to. I know he’ll try and immerse you in it too, but I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to join his plight of darkness. Don’t try and fight your father, he’ll only see you as an obstacle to get what he wants. I need you to know, Ezekiel. I need you to know that whatever happens, you have to find your own humanity. You’re a miracle, Ezekiel. Don’t you ever forget that. And please don’t let daddy see this. Mommy loves you.
Ezekiel
Laura taps on the screen, her head tilted to the side with a quizzical expression on her face.
Is this thing on? The red light means it’s recording, right?
Alright, well… where do I start?
My surroundings must look familiar, huh? Yep! This is going to be your room! I finished painting it a few days ago, but it took a little while for the fumes to leave. Ezekiel, at the time I’m filming this, you are… about a week away from coming to term. It’s exciting, isn’t it? The concept of life, how it’s ever-changing and evolving, how everything on this planet is put here for a reason. It’s a cycle, they say. If I told your father I thought that way, he’d probably kill me, haha. All ‘god made us this’ and ‘we do this for that!’
Oh, I haven’t even introduced myself! Well… my name is Laura. I’m your mommy! And right now, you’re in my stomach, which in retrospect is kind of odd now that I say that out loud, hah… I guess It’s confusing that I’m even leaving you this tape. You probably have so many questions at the moment, and I wish I could answer them all. If you’re getting this, Auntie Maya has decided that you’re ready. Well- what does that mean? Haha, I should clear that up.
Laura scratches her cheek nervously, her index and middle fingers drumming on her lap.
I asked my friend Maya to give this to you when she believed you were ready to know the truth. Knowing your father, he probably never let you know what happened to me. I… The doctors tell me I’m not going to pull through. It’s my anemia, it’s gotten worse in the past few months, things are getting scarce. And… I’m really sorry, Ezekiel. That’s why I’m leaving you this tape. So you know who mommy was and how much she loves you! Your father was furious when he found out I might not make it… He blamed himself for me being so sickly. It’s not his fault, Ezekiel. The lord does everything for a reason. And if I have to give up my life to have you nourish and grow on this planet, so be it!
You… you’re going to be born into some very confusing things. Ezekiel, I need you to know that the things daddy and the cult do aren’t normal. I think I really wanted to believe that when I was young and dumb, and I first met him. He seemed like such a wonderful man, and I thought he saved me from a lot of things! Then, one day, he started telling me about all of these strange ideas… How he was a prophet sent to do god’s work, how he had ‘visions’ of how the world was supposed to be… He told me of a group he was gathering together. At first, I tried not to mind it. Now I regret my neglect, seeing the awful things it’s led up to.
Killing other humans isn’t normal. Your father might have tried to convince you it is, but it isn’t. Trust me when I say, your father isn’t killing for a mission. He kills because he likes to. I know he’ll try and immerse you in it too, but I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to join his plight of darkness. Don’t try and fight your father, he’ll only see you as an obstacle to get what he wants. I need you to know, Ezekiel. I need you to know that whatever happens, you have to find your own humanity. You’re a miracle, Ezekiel. Don’t you ever forget that. And please don’t let daddy see this. Mommy loves you.
Wayne Newman
Okay, I got to do this. No more waitin around out here people are probably getting suspicious. I can’t afford another day with no damn money. I really need this but…
Ahh! What am I doing! I ain’t no outlaw. Not some crook to be shot down like I was nothin but filth on the road. Shit, but that’s exactly what I’ll be if I keep on like I am right now. Scavenging for food, eatin every other day. Nobody should be living the way I am. Sometimes I just wish I was young boy again. Ain’t had nothin to worry about then. All I did was run around and play with the horses on the farm… Before the fire of course. That’s when it all went wrong, my life, my family, my home. All gone in one passing night. When I look back on it now I don’t know how I’m even still breathing this long after, but I am and I’m not just gonna give up on myself. So I gotta get in there and hold the place up. Right? Wrong! No no! God damnit I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore! I’m about to rob a store for christ sake. This ain’t me. No, I can’t be relying on criminal behavior to stay alive. C’mon Wayne! I know your momma taught you better than this. But momma wouldn’t want you starve out on the streets either. Maybe I’m overthinking it. It’s not like I have to kill anyone. Just get in there, be all loud and intimidating and get the cash out the register. Simple. Alright, lemme just- God damn my heart is racin.
“This here a robbery partner! Now it’s real simple, I wanna see all the money you got or you gon have a brand new hole in ya head. Now! Faster than that c’mon! I ain’t got all day!”
“ Whatchu doin over there? Oh I know you ain’t reachin for that shotgun. Cause any finger you lay on that thing is gon be one less finger you got, partner. That’s right, lay it down real slow now. No need to cause yourself anymore trouble than you already in partner.
What I tell you boy! Put it down! Now! I said put it down.”
(click of the hammer being pulled back)
“I’m not gonna do you no harm, boy if you’d just listen to me. Ain’t the time for no hero boy. Listen to me, you got till the count of 3 to put the rest of that money in the bag. One… Two… Three-
(doorbell rings as a another customer walks in. Frightens wayne enough for him to pull the trigger accidentally.)
BANG!
“Shit! God damn, that wasn’t supposed to happen. You! You fool! Scared the hell out me, cost this man’s life right here. Yeah This ain’t my fault. I’m not getting thrown away for this shit, I can’t. This is all you partner! I ain't goin down for this! “
(Door opens again, law walks in)
“No… No please no.I didn’t intend for this.”
(sobbing voice, very emotional)
I'm Tired:A Monologue
[In a mocking tone] Don’t talk to boys. Make sure you get your homework done cuz you gotta graduate. Life is rough, make sure you set yourself up to be better than me. You know what? I’m tired of silently listening to you spit a bunch of bullshit to me. I know what the hell I’m doing. You don’t have to give me any advice about life at all whatsoever. I got this. Because when I got into high school, I did it on my own. When I had my first boyfriend, I dealt with it on my own. When I almost failed, I fixed that shit on my own. My mom was in the hospital for a week straight two years ago, and you wanna know who got me and Donte up for school at 5:30 every morning? You wanna know who made sure we ate dinner every night? You wanna know who made sure the house was kept in order? Me. I did. With no help from you at all because you wanted to do whatever with some girl or get high with your stupid ass friends and you were too busy to check in on your own fucking kids to make sure we was straight. Why should I listen to anything you have to say? You were never there for me when I needed you most! I’ve been getting bullied since I was young. [Mimicking the school kids] Destiny, you’re ugly. Destiny, why do you have such a big nose? Destiny, how come we’ve never seen your dad? I’d look in the mirror and pick apart everything I could about myself. You would’ve never known. You left me wondering for years about whether or not I was worthy of love because before I could even grow up and do anything to make you mad, you left like a fucking punk. I’m so unbelievably tired of this man. And then you have the audacity to look at me funny when I’m not tryna call you dad.
Do you know that I developed depression because of you? Do you know that at twelve years old, I would sit alone on my bed, staring at my ceiling, tears streaming down my face, wishing that my life would end. Clearly, I wasn’t good enough for you, so what makes me good enough for anybody else? At thirteen, I would ignore stop lights and not care about walking in front of moving cars, because I ultimately wished they would hit me and put me out of my misery. At fifteen, I started dragging razors across my body hoping that just once I would hit the right vein and my life would be over for good. I’m pretty sure you didn’t. Because you never ask, nor do you care enough to listen.
They put me in a hospital and I deadass could’ve went crazy. I was locked in a room by myself all day for a week straight. When I came out, I couldn’t eat with a knife or a fork. They thought I would try to hurt myself with it. I was in that facility for an entire month. While I was in there, I did a lot of thinking. About my life, about my family, about my friends, about myself, about the shit you put us through. I left that place feeling like a new person, but of course, you knocked me back ten steps to where I originally started. But, I am not allowing you to have that level of control over me anymore. I don’t care that I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, I’ve been surviving long enough on my own without you. Don’t try to pull that “I’m your dad” shit on me cuz I don’t wanna hear it. You can either take what I’m saying or leave it. But I know one thing is, I’m fucking leaving.
The girl next door
Some people turn they face when they get a first glance at me. Some people just don’t look at me at all. Sometimes kids ask their parents what is wrong with my face. I pretend not to hear them. I am different. I can’t just go to a restaurant and sit down without getting a million and one stares. I am something that is out of the ordinary. Once I walk in the room some people will say “oh my gosh” and turn away. My parents say I am a miracle child, but I think I’m just a kid with a weird face. I wear this helmet over my head most of the time to avoid problems even though my parents think I should show my beautiful face and some people think I am too old to be wearing this helmet. There’s nothing beautiful about this face of mine. I avoid looking in the mirror to escape reality.
I don’t really have friends. I spend most of my time playing video games and listening to music. The rest of my time is devoted to watching people in love. This might sound crazy but I love love. I see people my age in love and I say to myself “ Wow, I want to be in love”. I doubt anybody would ever love me though. There’s this girl who moved in next door who is so pretty to me. She smiles and waves at me every time she sees me but she never ever saw me without my helmet. I know she probably thinks I'm a weirdo for always wearing this helmet but she never makes me feel weird. I want to actually have a real conversation with her, but I’m scared she won’t like me anymore once she sees my real face.
My name is Rashad and I have Treacher Collins syndrome. I have lived with this my whole life. I have gotten a number of surgerys and been to the hospital more than you can imagine. Now enough about me, lets talk about Ciara, the girl next door. Ciara( smiles and looks up) Every time I say her name the biggest smile forms on my face. Situations like this never work out for me though. I usually just not get to excited because I know it won’t happen, but I was wrong. Thus was the first time I was going into a girl’s house that I liked. Oh I didn’t mention it? Ciara invited me over. My mom talked to my mom and next thing I know I’m getting a text from Ciara saying she wants me to come over. I am nervous as hell! I know I’m going to say stupid stuff , but I really just hope everything come naturally. I’m in Ciara’s house and it’s beautiful. It’s so colorful and bright and they have so many family pictures up. My heart is beating so fast that Ciara might hear it. My palms are so sweating which is crazy because my mouth is so dry. Here I am sitting down on her couch waiting for the impossible to be possible.
( Ciara starts speaking).
“What wait? “
“What do you mean you have can...”
“Well are you ok”?
“ Ciara I will love you no matter what”.
“ And I this time thought my face disfigurement was bad, that is nothing compared to what your going through.”
I would have never knew she had cancer because she is such a happy and cheerful person, and I love her, and she loves me , I am so lucky to love her. I found something I was always looking for and so did Ciara.
Love and someone who can understand one’s struggles.
Don't Trust Nobody
I can’t believe my boys lied to me. all this fall, there was this one girl that I was in love with and all I wanted to do was to ask her out. On tuesday my lunch period is on my third period so, when I got my lunch I want to the room that me and my ex friends would go to hang out and have fun, right when I walked in the class they started to tell me ‘’ yo Maria likes you man.’’
I started to get red and believing what they are where telling me, so I walked to one of her friends after lunch was over and asked her, ‘’can I ask you something and you won’t tell Maria please,’’ she just started to ask me questions like ‘’why are you trying to talk about her in a bad way.’’ No I said, I would never but those Maria have feelings for me, she started to laugh, No she said, Maria likes someone in another class.
After that day I never talked to them, I would lie to them that I had to do homework so I didn’t have to hang out with them. This want by for years and they tried to talk to me but I was just to mad. This was two weeks ago now they think everything is ok, just wait and see what i’m going to expose them for what they have done to me.
[Talking to the phone]
Why does everyone have to lie, why do friends have to lie about something that was not true. This friends lied to me 2 weeks ago and it was not funny because they made me believe that, Maria didn’t really liked me and I will never forgive them for it. Maria never had feeling for me and she never will, so why did they have to play with my feeling like that and making me believe them just because I trusted them. All I'm saying is don't you ever text me back and Maria, yes I liked you and I'm sorry for not telling you like a man but it was just I was scared to hear your answer and that made me scared.
Wait this guys are texting me again, why can't they just leave me alone and accept that I'm still mad for what they have done to me. I started to text each one of them to fuck off and leave me alone forever, but they kept texting me back that Maria really did like me. I text back, if Maria really did like me why did her friend said that Maria didn't like me and they were best friends. They would text back, Maria probably didn't tell her because she liked to talk to much and she didn't want you to know probably.
Look guys just leave me alone please, Maria friend told me already that she didn't liked me so just leave me alone. They kept saying ok but Maria told us that she did like you and if she didn't why are you taking this to heart and just leave it alone and hang out with us. Look man I have Homework to do.
[text message buzz]
Wait. It’s Maria. She says… what? She wants to go to the dance with me?
After the dance I said sorry to all of my friends and they didn’t want to accept but after a week everything want back to the way it was and had a girlfriend.
The Big News
I’ve been on this bus for the past 3 hours and I can’t bear to get off. There are 15 stops before I get home and I don't want to get home. I'm too nervous and I don't know how my mom is going to react. My hands tremble to the thought of telling her the news. Like I’m only fifteen years old man. I'm not ready for this kind of responsibility. I don’t know how my mom is going to react to the big news. Looking back at it I should have been more careful. Like I don't even love Amanda why did I even mess with her?I know I got myself into this hole. Like I need to find a job now and quit school. I can’t don’t do this I can’t handle all this responsibility and I definitely can’t handle the pressure.
I just need to stay calm and figure out how I’m going to tell mom I’ll worry about the other stuff later but, right now I have to figure out how I’m going to tell her. I'll just ask her how her day has been but, if she had a bad day I’m definitely not telling her. Imma just asks if we can talk in the living room and slowly but surely deliver the news. This could go either two ways she could be happy about it or the other possibility is that she doesn’t take the news well, gets disappointed at me, and kicks me out the house. Let me check where I am. Damn 11 stops until I get home. I need to make a plan right now I can’t be thinking about what if. I’m just going to be straight to the point and tell her everything that happened that night. I just don’t want to disappoint my mom she’s always told me to be careful with that stuff and that I shouldn’t mess around. I just wasn’t thinking right when I did it. I was drinking all night long and Amanda was drinking too. It just kinda happened and I don’t remember much about but I know that it happened. I just wasn’t in the right place that night and I was definitely not in the right mindset after all that drinking.
It's 7 stops until I get home and I'm even more stressed than I was before. All this time that I've spent on this bus has made me think about that night and if I could go back and stop myself I would. I just wanna get home and lock myself in my room and never come out so I don't have to face my problems. I guess I’ll just have to man up and face my mistake. It already happened and I can't change it I’ll have to work hard and find a job in order to support my family.
It's 3 stops now, already, ok . I know what I'm going to do I'm going to tell my mom everything and I will own up to my mistake and take care of that baby and care for its mother. One stop closer to home, I think I'm ready to tell my mom. It's time for me to get going and tell my mom that I got Amanda pregnant. I will explain the whole situation from beginning to end and see how she feels about it. As I get off the bus I'm still stressed but I feel a lot more confident in telling my mom about what happened. Even though I am not prepared to be a father I look at this situation as a learning experience and I will try my hardest to provide a good home for my baby.
New Life, New Experiences
A slap on my chest woke me. I heard my father quietly telling me to wake up. I didn’t protest because I knew today was the day. I hurried out of bed and got dress. When dad lit the candle, I could see the bamboo suitcase filled with clothes already packed for me. He rushed me downstairs and went into the kitchen to give me two banh mi before walking me to the bus station. I looked up, the sky was still dark, I was still able to see the stars. I looked around me. There were no carts, no doors opened, no one outside. It was still early. I didn’t want to leave. Vietnam, it was the only place I ever knew.
As the bus came closer into view, I could feel myself shake. If I left, I would leave my prized possessions, my childhood friends, my sense of comfort, and most importantly, my family. The ones who’ve kept me safe all these years. The ones that have helped me get past the Vietnam war. Then what would be left of me? I’m nothing without my friends, my neighborhood, my family.
The bus came and I boarded it. I rushed to the window seat and looked out the window. Through the headlights of the bus, I could make out my dad’s face in the dark. I still remember his blood-shot eyes, the sadness in his eyes. He didn’t dare look up. I wanted to scream, to run back into his arms, to cry, but I knew none of that was useful. It was my job to lead the path for my siblings, to prove my neighbors wrong, to make it to the Land of Opportunity.
I’m telling you this now, son, because I want you to understand the struggle I went through to have a better life. It is important that you take every opportunity given to you because many kids in other parts of the world don’t have such opportunities. You might think I talk too much and everything I’m telling you is useless and full of crap but it’s not. When we go back to Vietnam this summer, you’ll understand all of it. There are kids who are homeless and out begging for money. There are old women working 14 hours a day just to earn a little money. I left Vietnam because living under communist rule is never going to be a good thing. When we visit your aunt, she can tell you all about it and you can deem if my lectures and teachings were useful.
Days into our trip in Vietnam and I could already see the disturbance in my son’s eyes. Unlike America, there were no crossing lights, there were stray dogs, street food that weren’t the cleanest, and the most disturbing for him, I believe, was the amount of roaches and rats running around. He seemed to have changed. No blatant disrespect, he was less picky with food, more grateful for family, and most importantly, he began saving his hard-earned money. I’m glad now that I told him about my past. I wanted to leave it in the past but I guess everything worked out for the better.
Ethan's Monologue
My phone is ringing…
“Hello?”
(...)
“Okay..”
I’m really not hungry right now. I was actually focused on this project. By the time I get back from dinner, I’m not gonna wanna code anymore.
*Walks downstairs*
Ugh, she got those nasty chicken fingers from ACME. They’re so dry.
(...)
Why does she care about school? She doesn’t care about me in the first place.
“It was just a normal day”
(...)
“I was hanging out with friends. I only got home at like 5:30”
(...)
“James and Raul”
(...)
“How do you not know who I’m talking about. I mention them all the time.
(...)
“Why wouldn’t I hang out with other kids? I don’t need to join a club just because other kids do.”
(...)
“Okay, but I like the friends I have.”
(...)
“Why…”
(...)
“I do have a life and I do have friends. Why can’t you just be positive sometimes?”
*mom leaves room*
Ugh why can’t I just enjoy being myself?
Maybe I should try to spend the night with James tomorrow.
*logs into his mother’s facebook*
SHE SAID THAT I SAID I HATE HER??
Why does she make stuff up about me? What did I ever do to her? No wonder all of her friends ask me so many questions. She doesn’t seem to care about me herself.
Who should I talk to?
Will my dad listen? Will my brother listen?
I don’t think they will understand. I feel like something is wrong. None of my friends ever mention them feeling bad about themselves. Nor do I, but still. My friends are always posting pictures with their parents having a good time. I never post anything of my or my family. It just doesn’t seem right. I don’t want people to judge me. What if my brother makes fun of me for talking to him about it? If my mom knows that I talked to somebody about her, she might get mad.
I fell asleep…
(2 hours later)
Maybe I should just take a break. My grandmother won’t judge me. I know she can keep it to herself. She always asks how I’m doing. I always respond with “good” or “fine”. Fine means that I’m just not loving school. I never relate it to life at home. I’m sure she’ll understand.
*calls his grandmother*
“Hello?”
(...)
“Hey Grandma!”
(...)
“Yea uh… Like, do you think I could see you soon? L..”
(...)
“Like alone?”
(...)
“Yea I just really want to see you alone if that’s okay”
(...)
“Could I come over this weekend?”
(...)
“Yea 1 hour is fine. I’ll get myself there.”
(...)
“Okay bye bye! I love you!”
(...)
Oh no!
I hope she understood that I was really nervous. She might ask my mom if something is wrong. If I call her back, she will be worried.
Maybe it isn’t me at all. Maybe my mom is going through something. What could have happened? Her dad passed away 3 years ago now. She didn’t even like him. At least that’s what she told us. She quit her job last week. That was her choice wasn’t it? Maybe I should just go talk to her
Reflection on Human Ways
Xan xim zom tom rom shuppa tablada samy eyoko takara
Translation
The girls here are beautiful. All different shapes, shades, and styles. I love… what do they call it? Oh yes, I believe I overheard someone say “Diversity”. Back on my own planet Xanahr, with a silent H, all the girls look the same and all the girls look like boys. The way to recognize a female is by their lack of a 37th tentacle. When I arrived on earth In this city I was entranced by the tall spaceships that don't fly, bewildered by people stuck in screens with prices on them, confused by the small vehicles that roll along the ground making loud honking sounds, and unerved from the people yelling unknown words at me, I had disguised myself to look like one of them. The problem was that as normal as I looked, the girls didn’t seem to enjoy me.
Today was a rough day. I had decided to use some of the words I had learned. I was walking next to Macy's and I saw an old white man, make a “tweet twwwwwwww” (whistle) sound with his lips. It sounded like the first of 576 mating calls people make on my home planet. He followed that by saying “Ayoo Shawty come here and get this treatment”. Shawty, if that was her name, punched him in the face. This must be a part of the mating ritual I surmised. When I repeated this processes, I got the same result, but I had no way of knowing whether it was the right result. I approached another lady on the corner “Hellooooow sweet thang,” I said, repeating the word I had heard earlier, and again the response was violent. This resulted in the damage of my favorite tentacle, number 26. She was beautiful, but it hurt. I began to wonder if I could survive these strange mating rituals and whether, if I discovered the secret rites of courtship, I would experience pleasure in female companionship.
I was discouraged. While I was surrounded by diverse beauty, I had no way of knowing the hearts and minds of the girls I encountered, and no idea about what I should or should not do. The girl I encountered next would change all of that. I recall how her hair was flying in the wind, glowing, and decided that I could not miss my chance. On my native planet, we begin courtship using a distinctive walk consisting of a series of dips, bobs, and turns. I decided to try using this female-catching walk on the one with the glowing hair and she laughed. On my home planet the males follow the distinctive walk by showing their 37th tentacle but I was reluctant to do this. I clearly didn’t understand the females of this planet and said as much to her. I explained that I had tried to emulate the actions of other men I had observed, but was always met with violence. She asked me to describe these behaviors and after I recounted them, she explained that, on this planet, it was wrong to treat women like that-- like objects, things without thoughts or feelings. Her words hit me like a train and made my world spin.
I hadn’t been observing rituals of courtship at all but something she called harassment. I couldn’t understand why males of this planet would treat their female counterparts this way. Clearly there was nothing to be gained from doing so. Perhaps harassment did not exist on my planet because telling males and females apart was nearly impossible; however, maybe harassment didn’t exist because we cared for each other. She invited me to come with her, and we actually just hung out. It felt more like courtship on Xanahr, and she explained the ways to approach the women of her plant respectfully. I understand now and I am hopeful for the future.
