Photoshop the Truth
I will not photoshop the truth
I will not crop the truth, truthfully speaking the truth
I will not resize the truth for the fittening of your frame
I will not resize or rotate or flip it so that when you first hear it, it feel less offensive
I believe that scars are lessons learn so I won't even fix any blemishes
I won't add any special affect in order for me to look more like you
Somehow, he then touched me.
When he was supposed to be loving me,
It triggered my mind leaving me confused with what state of mind I was in
What I didn't know was that I was about 8 going on 9
And I didn't have the opportunity to decline what would be define as my first sexual intercourse
I went from learning my 1, 2, 3 to learning about birds and bees
Child life was no longer as easy as learning A, B, C
I wanted to know why
I was looking and searching for a sign
I felt used and thrown away like paper cups and plastic utensils at 8 going on 9
My heart was beating out of my chest
And that night, I slept with him, went to school the next day and smile like nothing happened
I just wish for that one moment, someone would look past my outside and look inside
Nothing comes out of my voice, but inside of me, I wanted to scream "Can anyone see that I'm hurting?!"
Took the pain, stored in the back of my mine, and purposely forgot the combination
There is light at the end of this tunnel
We don't see the end, but God sees it clear
For every boy and ever girl who feels defenseless
For every man and every woman who feels like the enemy is beating them senseless
For every tear that rolls that your face and swallow of cry in the middle of the night so no one can hear
For every face that is barried in pillows to hide the tears
Christ is your breath of life and can be your inhaler.
If there's an opportunity to make a difference in your life or someone else life, you do what you can and make the best out of it. If there's a point in time where an obstacle comes along and you don't know what to do about it, you have to suck it up and do what you have to do. Between all those obstacles and change in life, you grow stronger as a person and become independent. Through the characters of Juno from the movieJuno and Hester from The Scarlet Letter, both characters shows their independence and strength with handling their obstacles even though society is continuously pushing them down.
Just like Juno and Hester, I, myself can relate to them on certain level. Growing up was hard for me. I had many challenges in life; wishing and hoping that it could go away. Juno dealt with pregnancy at a young age and it caused her to be more independence and learning how to deal with things on her own. Just like her, my past helped mold me to be more independent and not depend on anyone, but God. God was my everything. Anything that was happening, I kept my mouth shut and dealt it on my own and never asked for help. For example, in the movie Juno, during her pregnancy, Bleeker would ask her if she needs any help and she would constantly push him away and take matters in her own hands. Throughout my life, people put their hands out for me, but my mentality was just "no, I can do it on my own." As in the book, Hester's surrounding was constantly pushing her down and looking at her in a pity form, which I thought was mean, but Hester, as a character didn't let that bother her. She's the one who knows the truth and she's not going to photoshop the truth to please others.
And that brings me to the next point. It was hard for me to decide what kind of creative project I wanted to do because I want to do everything! But I also wanted to be the best of the best. At first, I was going to draw, but since I'm not the greatest artist in the world, I decided to express my creativity in a written form. My spoken poetry is about how my past has taught me how to grow stronger mentality and trusting in God. The basic theme that I wanted people to understand from my poem was that you don't have to please society. They can believe what they want to believe, but at the end of the day, you know the truth and that truth creates who you are today and there is hope at the end of the tunnel. This poetry represents who I portray myself on the outside, and what's really happening behind closed doors. Society doesn't know about my past and what I go through everyday, so they expect me to be happy and act like everything is okay. That's why I always walk around smiling, but at home, the pillows are the sponges to my tears. Those tears gave me an opportunity to see the light and I want my poetry to help others gain hope.
I feel like my poetry is pretty good. It doesn't have much, but each words has a powerful meaning. I poured my heart out onto this keyboard, and I hope that my audience can see the pain and effort I put into it. I don't regret anything I have done. Everything has been on time and I have used my time wisely. I mean, there's always a spot to improve. In this case, I don't feel like I have any. If I were to ever do this project again, I think I would challenge myself to draw a masterpiece. That was my first intentions, but it didn't pull through.