“AHHHH!” i screamed.
“Que pasa ?” My grandma said.
“Una..una..” i said forgetting how to say spider in spanish.
so i point to the spider.
“Una araña ?” she said.
“Mhmm” i say, remembering.
“Aver de araña” she says.
“Araya” with a face of scared i said it wrong.
“Ajaja” she starts to laugh.
“Asi no se dice” she responds.
“Oh...” in a face of disappointment.
Speaking spanish for me is difficult, I spoke so much english growing up and in school that when I go to Mexico, or go home, or even when I am with friend that speak my language and speak spanish it sounds like I have an accent. My family and friends have told me that I sound like an American trying to speak spanish. I couldn’t say some words like other spanish speaking people, I would sound weird saying the words, and when I did speak spanish, I would have someone laughing at me. My spanish speaking friends would expect me to talk spanish all the time like they do because I come from a Mexican family, but I cant speak spanish all the time, because of my accent in spanish. My family would expect me to speak spanish well because when I was little I use to speak spanish all the time and my parents are from Mexico, but growing up I start to speak english more and spanish less, or I would mix my spanish with my english. I started to get gain an accent with my spanish, it would sound like a spanish word mixed with english. I got made fun of with my family, and it was kinda funny, but then again that made me feel not confident with me speaking spanish, so now that I am in spanish class, I don’t like to speak spanish because I am scared to say a word and say it with my accent I have, I just wont speak. I would only say some words I know how to say them clearly, with the accents but sometimes my accent will slip out. This will affect my future because I would be shy to speak my second language because of the accent I have when I speak spanish. As well where I got the nickname “blanca” because my friends say I a “wanna be white” because I wont speak spanish around them because of my spanish accent and afraid to get made fun of because on how I speak spanish.
Most people would think, “oh she is embarrassed of her culture and her language” but thats because they don’t know what is really going on. I am happy being Mexican. I am fine speaking spanish but if only I could speak it with out the accent. It sometimes brings people to hate me, because people think I don’t want to speak spanish and I am embarrassed. I would only speak some sentences that I know my accent won’t come out.
As this quote says “The range (and reign) of accents on that damp little island make England coherent for the English and totally incomprehensible for everyone else. To open your mouth in England is (if I may use black English) to "put your business in the street": You have confessed your parents, your youth, your school, your salary, your self-esteem, and, alas, your future.” the day I opened my mouth and spoke spanish to my grandmother and she saw that I had an accent in my spanish she knew what would happen, as well as my friends when I spoke spanish to them, they called me “blanca” why ? because I would speak spanish with an english accent and everyone knew what would happen, I would be shy to speak my own language and speak it to them, because how I speak my spanish.
My spanish accent started with me hanging with my best friend Alexis, I was with her so much that I started to talk like her, then I started to realized when I spoke spanish I sound different than others, I felt sad because I felt like when I spoke spanish to others, they would just look at me like “what kind of spanish are you speaking” so I just talk to my spanish friends in english. As the statement says, they will tell my future because now I am not confident with myself speaking spanish, and when I am older, I wont be feeling any better about my spanish. What makes me sad about me speaking spanish with an accent is that every time I say a long sentences and my accent would come out, my family, and friends look at me in a strange way, that makes me sad because they look at me different. Sometimes I think, maybe if I speak spanish a lot, they will get use to it, or my spanish will get better after a while, but sometimes I am just not ready to speak spanish fully with other people. When the quote says “sland make England coherent for the English and totally incomprehensible for everyone else. To open your mouth in England is (if I may use black English) to "put your business in the street" It does feel like I am putting my business out there because to me my I don’t speak spanish for a reason outside my house because I feel like if I do I am telling everybody that I can’t speak spanish with out an english accent, well Wendy thats me, plus spanish my language equal oops, why? because I make a lot of mistakes when i speak spanish.