Reconstruction of Memory

“When I lose something, I always try to think back to the last time I saw it. When I go back to that place, I usually find what I lost.”

The last time I saw my father…

It was clear from the start that this advice wouldn’t be very helpful. The most recent memory Julia had of her father was years ago - only a few days before he went missing. This memory had returned to her only just last night - the first of her personal memories. Perhaps the others would return to her when something happened in the present to trigger it. There was only one way to find out.

She thought back to the day when she was young… five or six. She had walked into her father’s… study? Yeah, study, he was a scholar. Is a scholar. Why? She had a nightmare, and was in need of his company. Did she go to her mother first? No, she had no memories of her mother. She never knew her. He held her in his arms with a loving embrace for a long time. She remembered snuggling closer to his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his sweater on her cheek, hearing the beat of his heart, and feeling a wave of comfort wash over her.

Julia started to cry. As she stood there in the field, her own father was being held prisoner somewhere on this land. A prisoner of beings that would not hesitate to kill him if it would benefit them in some way. She had no clue where they were keeping him, or if he was still alive. But even if she would never see him again, at least she had something to remember him by.

Julia’s mind came back to the present. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and she and her companions moved on, even more, determined to find the one who could just be her only surviving parent. She had to save him. He had to see him again. And she will risk it all to do so. Even her own life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2kTtW5f56I

Thank you for taking the time to read my piece. This is actually supposed to be a small part of a larger story, so that’s why it doesn’t feel quite complete or why some details aren’t quite as explained. If you are interested in learning more about the story, feel free to come talk to me. For my audio companion, I decide to use the song Hymn for the Missing by Red. Since the main character has a missing person in her life, it was kind of fitting. I can imagine one of them singing the song to the other.

Shamus Keough Reconstruction of Memory

I remember when the doctor told me I wasn’t going to live. I was an overweight man living in Detroit, living in an average house with my wife and child. While I was overweight, I still tried to get to the gym on weekends, and when ever I had freetime. I wasn’t the best with working out, but I always made sure I ran a few miles on the treadmill. I thought it would be interesting to try out running and see if I could lose some weight as well. The next summer after I started training I had already set up the idea to run a half marathon by some point in my life.

By the second month of training, I was starting to be really proud of myself. I had been doing some long runs, and at that point my farthest run had been nine miles. I was happy, and so was my wife, everything was going great. Until the doctor visit the next week.

I had gone to the doctor after work one day because I felt a little bit like I was starting to get the flu. I got to the doctor’s office and described how I was feeling to the doctor. The doctor said “Well… it might be a cold, but I just want to check if it could be something else. Would you mind taking an mri really quick?” I said sure, and got into the machine. The mri ended a few minutes later, and the doctor came into the room with a sad look on his face.

“I’m so sorry… it’s what I thought it might be. You have blood cancer.”

I later found out that I had only a few more months to live. I didn’t know how exactly to react, all I knew was that I was going to finish that half marathon I promised to my wife. I kept on practicing, every weekend, and any other free time I had. I had been practicing so much, I knew I was going to do his best, and even if I had to, make it the last thing I did in my life.

Author’s Note

The plot of the story is partially based off of my first experience running a half marathon. My first time running a half marathon was pretty difficult, so I tried to have my main character also have a hard time training at first. I had Terry start out training and have some trouble at first, which I can admit I also had some trouble when I first started running. After Terry starts running, I added him being diagnosed with cancer because I wanted to make Terry have some extra struggle with his training. I had the idea of him being diagnosed with cancer because I also had cancer when I was younger.


Elena Smith Monologue

I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, it was supposed to be easy and quick and you weren’t supposed to be in so much pain. You weren’t supposed to look like this, all sad and alone with so many damned tubes coming out of you. You’re family, I didn’t- I don’t want you to suffer. You understand, right? There’s just been so much going on in the family, you know how all our siblings were rushing around, trying to pick and choose which part of the company they wanted, laying down and worshipping Father and trying to get him to name them heir, as if would let anyone run the company except for me. But you probably didn’t notice any of that. Your head is always in the clouds.


It’s funny, right? He’s always been a terrible person and an even worse father but who cares anymore? He was dying and all of us flocked to him before his death just to get more money from him, from his stupid company. I’m supposed to forgive him just because he’s dying  “before his time?” After all he’s done to us- he was never around and when he was it was- it was- well, who cares anymore, right? The idiot is dead, no thanks to you. You were never part of this, you know that? You weren’t supposed to be there, it was just going to be him all alone, already dying. It would’ve been easier that way, no one would’ve suspected it anyway. A dying man dying a little quicker? Everything would’ve been wrapped up neatly with a little bow.


But instead you were there and you saw and you- it’s your fault you’re like this! You were always sneaking into places you shouldn’t’ve been in, always finding new passages and exploring the house. I don’t know why I keep talking as if you’re dead. The doctors said you would be fine, that when you woke up there wouldn’t be any brain damage. That’s why I’m here, actually. That and Mom keeps yelling at me for not visiting you in the hospital. But mainly the first reason. Because if you do wake up, when you do wake up, you’ll remember everything. And if you remember everything it could make things very very complicated, and then I couldn’t rule the company anymore and Mom would be sad and I’d be in jail for the next couple decades. So, now I have to do this. For the future of this company. For the future of this family.


You never got it, never understood. You’re too young to understand what happened, what I did and why I had to do it. I was always meant to be his heir, and our siblings laying down at his feet for table scraps did nothing to change that. But he was taking so long to actually die, and he wasn’t of sound mind and his business partners were taking advantage of that, trying to get him to raise their salaries or invest in bad decisions. If anything, I did him a favor, ending him early. A favor to him and to his company. To my company.


Where was I again? Oh yea, I have to figure out what to do about you. About you maybe getting better. But you can’t get better, because even if you think you can keep a secret, kids always run their mouth off and I don’t see why you’ll be any different. It’s gonna be easy and you’re not gonna hurt that much, I promise. I’ve already bribed some doctor to slip you something, something that’ll make sure you won’t feel any pain. Even though I put you here, I still don’t want you to suffer. You’re my little sister, and you’re barely even 10. I practically raised you, since Mom and Dad were always out of the house. I always did what was right for you, and that’s what I’m trying to do now. For what it’s worth, I’ll miss you, Kelly. Everyone will.


Mikey's Dog Died

I am walking home with my mom from school talking about my day` like normal parents, but she told me that she had some bad news. “What is it?” I said to her, (sky gets cloudy and dark)

And then a voice from a distance ¨It looks like it’s going to rain,” (Lightning and thunder) “RUN!!!” I SCREAM on top of my lungs. “We´ve made it home. Phew, that was close”, I said,  

(starts to rain)

When me and my mom got home, I´ve found out that the bad news was that my dog Ben had died. “Awww, RIP. Ben was a good dog. I’ve had him all of my life! Mom, this is the second worst day ever! When Emily died, I never thought that anything bad would ever happen like this again. But it did! I’m just happy that he died peacefully in his sleep, and that he was just old and not sick. But what am I going to tell Jessica, Jenny, Alexis, and Liz? They loved Ben too! I think I want to be alone now! I go to my room. (I slam the door in my room and talked to my self I had remembered those good days with Ben and me) AND… I miss Emily as well as Ben. At least we have an alarm system for burglars so the cops came as soon it has gone off and Emily was in front of the door and that is how she got killed and he did not steal anything in our house and he had gotten arrested for 50 years for  attempting to steal stuff and killing my youngest sister (Emily) If this happens to you, you can do the same thing as me (Mikey) I hate my life but I love my sisters even if they are annoying but, I don’t care. I know how Teenagers are like sometimes.






https://soundcloud.com/user-887456031/tylers-monologue-1

Give it a second try

Hey sarah, I know you are doing homework right now in class but I need some advice. There is this girl that I like and I don't know if i should ask her out. what should I do because when I asked out Emily she said no, she said she would never like me, she said I am ugly, she told me to kill myself. What should I do? I been thinking to myself about rather if I should ask her out. This new girl every time she looks at me I know she is the one. Every time she hangs out with me I know and she knows that she is the one for me. This girl is always giving me compliments on my looks and how I am so nice and when I meet the right person I will know. This girl is the beautifulest girl I ever meet and I get to see her everyday in class. she always smell good. If she ever leave I would be very sad that I don't get to see her anymore. Maybe she is trying to tell me that, that person is her. I don't know which way to take the information that she has given me. If I ask her out and she says no, Then she says she was talking about someone else and not her it makes me feel like an idiot. But if I don't ask her and she was talking about her I will never know how she feels about me. Maybe I should ask Chris for some advice. Why are you looking at me like that, you should be telling me that someone will love me one day. Or how I should ask this girl out that I been talking about. Can you at least tell me how should I dress or how would you like me to dress. Maybe I shouldn't ask sarah that, she might know I like her I should just stop thinking about love. No one's ever going to like me. even worse, no one is ever going to love me. Maybe I should just take Emily advice and just go kill myself. Or should I just give it one more try maybe there's actually someone out there for me. You know what maybe Emily was right. I'm ugly, I'm stupid, and I'm retarded. I should just go die, no one's going to love me why don't I just stick it in my head, why don't I just go run away and live in the forest where no one can ever see my ugly face again. You know what maybe I should go talk to her maybe I should ask her why did she say all those mean things to me was it because I'm weird or is it because all those things are actually true. Sarah sarah… why are you Ignoring me Maybe she doesn't like me anymore maybe she heard so much of my problems and it finally got to her that she doesn't care. She wants to talk about herself or maybe she's trying to tell me just ask her out. Forget it maybe I should just go home. I think I'm going inside my head I should think outside the box I just ask her out. Artifact forget it Sarah do you want to go out with me, Oh my God she said yes this whole time I was thinking she was going to say no. Where do I start what do I do what do I say. The first thing I'm going to do is take her on a date then We're going to have sex and we're going to have for kids and then the journey will take us from there.


When we love. (English Monologue)


I’ve never been good at talking about how I’m feeling, and I think it’s because I feel too much, and if I tried to explain how I feel when he touches me is like my heart trying to escape from my ribcage so it can be free to love him completely, it’d come out wrong.

He was from Alabama. Birmingham to be exact. He was so full of soul, and even though he wasn't perfect, he was enough. He claimed to have a cold heart, always pushing me away, and I guess when he poured his love into me, he was pouring ice. I didn't mind it though.

He was a drug dealer. He claimed to fancy getting high more than getting intoxicated to numb his pain. I knew he drank every once in a while but I wasn't going to judge him. I'd smell it on his breath when he would come through my window at 3 am, fending for my love and affection.

He had his way with words and even though he wasn't much of a talkative person, he'd always hit me with a ton of words. He wrote poems, hearing them when he was high was heaven on earth. He was an introvert, He was depressed. He told me how he felt alone in a room full of his peoples.

He lied a lot, he lied so much that I knew when he was lying. yeah, he was good at writing and laying low, but he was a damn good liar. He never lied when we had our 3AM talks when we talked about our desires and things that urged seriousness. anything else, he'd lie about. he hated how transparent he seemed to me, but I loved it.

He's considerate and that's what got my parents to adore him. Not many people will spare someone's feelings, but he does it all the time. He stops himself from doing many things because he knows that I wouldn’t approve. But the other half, I can't blame him for trying to survive. He barely pulled a smile, but when he did, it was a beautiful sight.

He was insecure too and the weed didn't help at all. His insecurities spoke for him and there were many of them, they consumed him. He was paranoid, which is why I often caught him sneaking into my room, through my window at odd times. He was a good person, just learning, that's all. We cling to music, to poems, to quotes, to writing just to not feel as alone, we don't want to be alone because the feelings are still there even when the courage isn’t.

One night, as I held him close to me, he asked me, "would you die for me?" it caught me off guard and before I could think about the question, to give him an answer, he brought me from my thoughts. "naw, that's too easy, would you live for me?" and the truth is, as long as he goes through hell and back for me, I'm going to be his closure, his release.

On The Run

Brrrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrrr Brrrrrr

(Jaylen) can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a message


“I-I know this is sudden and you probably don’t want to speak to me, b-but I just want to explain.”

When I came to Lakeshore High, you were the only person that was nice to me. Not to mention the fact that you were gorgeous. I was never meant to get close to you or become friends.

I never knew it would get this far. I never knew you would be the one. And although things are different now and you will never forgive me, you still are the one and only one for me.

Truth is, there was a lot of things I wasn't telling you. My mom was struggling, running from my dad who almost killed her several times. I know I masked my issues and told you I was only upset because I missed my friends back in Florida. Truth is, I didn’t really have any friends. I was use to not having them so I tried to keep my distance from anyone… that is ..until I met you. I’ve never really belonged anywhere. I moved around with my mom to protect her from my father. He has ruined my life in more ways than you could ever understand. I know hearing this you’ll think I’m a liar, but not telling you was my way of protecting you. I mean what if my dad found us and found you? I couldn’t have anything happen to you.


I was going to tell you though. I thought I was finally free from my father and this unbreakable, terrifying silence. Two years was the longest I’ve ever stayed anywhere. It brought me joy to wake up every morning and not wonder if my mom is still down the hall sleeping peacefully, or if I would choke from breathing in the extreme and intoxicating smell of liquor and cigarettes. I thought it was my time to be happy. But, I should’ve known better than that. I let the weight be lifted off my shoulders prematurely. Being as naive as I was, I thought the weight disappeared, but all I did was pass them over to my mom. She started to worry more as I became more reckless. I ignored it, but she was crumbling under the weight of our worries and fear. I shouldn’t have gotten comfortable. I’m not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me, I just want you to understand that it was no one’s fault but mine.




On your birthday,everything went to shit. You were having your party and I was so excited to go. My mom never really relaxed, but that day, she smiled in a way I barely recognized.. She was happy that I was finally happy. I knew more than ever that she wished she could’ve given me a normal childhood. From there you know that story, we had a blast. I left your house around 1:00 in the morning. The best night of my life. But I could almost see my peace and happiness fly out of the door when I got home to my crying, shaking, and petrified  mother. I saw the letter in front of her. If I can’t have you, no one can! Taped to a brick that laid amongst the remnants of  my front window. I don’t know when the note came, but at that point, all I could think, feel, breathe, was anger. I was happy, you were my happiness. I couldn’t..we couldn’t leave again. She knew it as much as I.

Once more I was afraid and I knew I couldn’t leave my mom alone again. That's why I was missing so many days of school. Not because of doctors or dentists appointments, or workouts or any other lame reason I used to spare you from worrying. It was Sunday night, June 2nd. I came home from the gym to see three bullet holes in my living room walls. I walked to the basement and found him with his shotgun. My mom on the floor crying. He was drunk, again, and delirious.


You left me! I told you I didn't want you to leave and you left! Without saying goodbye! With MY son! You are the devil! Go back to hell!


That anger that I had been at bay for two years, took over my body. I couldn’t think straight anymore. I heard the gunshot. Was that it? Did he really kill her? All that running and hiding, for nothing? Everything lay quiet and still. Then I saw blood gushing from dear old daddy’s head as he lay dead on the floor. Was he drunk enough to shoot himself? How stupid. Then I saw my mom stand up, and take the shotgun from my hands.


We have to go. I won’t let you go to jail for me.


I had no idea why she said that. No idea that it was me who pulled the trigger.  


Here I am. In Spain, calling you. I love you, I’ve always loved you. I’ve played how this conversation would happen in my head at least 300 times already. But I think I have come to terms with the fact that it will never happen in person… because I don’t think I will ever see you again. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not saying this to have you pity me, I just thought I owed you an explanation.  I---


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