9a to 1p
As we enter the room I saw how my baby is plugged up to all these wires and all I wanted to do was cry and his mother saw my pain in my face, but she left my head up and told me not to cry.Soon as we come in the room there a female holding a baby and I was thinking in my head who the fuck is this but by me begin so up set I didn't pay it no mind. and I saw how Ms Kim had made the same face as me and was think the same thing I was . So his mother ask her was her name is she said khaijah and they she ask who are you, she stated Im josh baby mom and I looked and cry his mother was like that not true and why didn’t he tell me about you or the baby. I had this shit running through my mind, I didn’t know how to feel because I was the wife and I just found that my husband was living another life. I mean we been together for 5 years now and he didn’t even act like he had a baby on me. So I started to question her like how do you know him because Im don’t even think that this is he baby, Even if it was why didn’t he tell his mom or sister because only tell them the truth about everything,How do we even know that this is really his baby. As time so on we going back and forth. Ms Kim told us to stop because we where here for him and didn’t want us to act like kids. But me begin up set I left the room and went in the waiting room with the rest of the family and friends and his sister saw the pain in my eyes and how the tears was coming down my face. Na what the matter what happen in the room. Well their was a girl in there with a baby
talking about how she is josh baby mom and she been with him for about 2 years and her son is 2 years of age. Dacia looked shock because she wanted to know to know who the fuck is khaijah.
I want to see her I can’t wait until she come out the room so I can see what she and the baby look like, thats all Dacia kept saying but some many things was coming to mind because i was in my second year of college at truth university. Its was so hard because I was wondering did he do it when I was in school, I don’t know mean but this shit was crazy. Then the doctor come out and tell us that he heart rate drop and that they was able to stop the blood and pick up the heart beat. But he will have to remind here for a couple of nights and we would like to know who staying with him. khaijah say I will, before I could get the words out my mouth his mother and sister say no honey but my daughter in law Na is staying here with him we don’t even know you all like that you just so happen to pop up. As Ms Kim and the girl was speaking Dacia pulled me over to the side and she was like I know here she used to live on 27st. I heard that all she does is sleep around with people men and then say that they are her son father. After this point I didn’t know how to fell or what to do.So later that night I stayed in the hospital with him just waiting to see if he was going to get up.Then on top of that I had a paper that had to be turned in for school that morning.
So later that morning I heard some one called my name but I think Im dreaming but as soon as I open, I saw that my husband was up. I was happy then again I was say because some girl just told me yesterday when we was here that he might be the father. Man i had so much on my plate with was crazy. So I ask him who she was and why did you cheat on me while I was n school. Josh looked at me as if i was high of some type of drugs. All he kept say was who are you talking about and I don’t have no kids. In the back of my mind I had the weird feeling like he was telling me the truth but then again I had to think with my head and not with my heart because thinking with my heart could of got me in to a lot of mess that I really didn’t need at this moment. Three weeks go by and Josh had came home and when we got home that had a party for him at his mother house and as soon as we walk in the door I saw that girl khaijah that said she was his baby mom but I didn’t want to start anything because his family and friends was around, but the way she was just looking at me gave me the impression that she was mad that Im his wife and been here for 5 years strong and still not going no where. So as time went on josh didn’t see her because didn’t no one wanted him to get mad about thing that was going on. While everyone is outside she was getting smart, and me I have a loud mouth so I know people was going to heard me, and next thing I know i hit her and everyone heard us and stop what they was doing and ran into the house Josh didn’t understand what was going on but when he saw her his face had drop and all he did was pull me and away and started smacking me asking me house could i be so dumb and go back and forth with her. This time i knew i was right that might of had something going on with her. So I ask him a again what was going on with them two and yes he told me the truth but he also had told me that they only met and by that time she was prego and he didn’t know until one day she called his phone right after she had her son. One thing I can say about him is that he is not dumb when it comes to that and I know we then had that moment so many times.
Then a week goes by and Josh had did a DNA to find out if he was the father or not and that only was a two day wait. I was so scare to had to deal with all these problem and then as I was noticing that I only had 3 weeks left until I went back to school and I felt like if i left he was going to be up to his ways while Im gone even though he comes up to my school and stay with me for about a week time and time threw out the school years so I felt like I had to trust him somewhat people at least he call and checked in with me but he didn’t even know that I had eyes on him everywhere this man was at and trust and believe they always came back and told me things about him even if I didn’t want to heard it most of the time. In my heart i know god cant give us to much that we cant handle. So the test papers can back and me and him was to scare to open it so we drove all the up northeast to give it to him mom so that she can open it. so about 5 min later we pull up to her house. I had all these butterflies in my stomach i didn’t want to eat or sleep, but all I was thinking is what if this is his baby so we both get out and walk up to the door. I guess his she saw us and she knew why we had came there and soon as she open the door i took the papers from him and told her to open it cause i was to scare to even look at it. We sit down in the living room and everyone was there beside the baby mom.( There was a long pause after she read the paper)
In the case of 2 year old khayni derrick josh pray you are not and the “I yell the father” and she look at me as if i knew he wasn’t the father and in my heart i knew he was because him or his family didn’t know that later on the took a test and found out that me and him was having a baby. Then that time came I it was time for me to come back to school. I was happy because it seem as if everything was right and I was happy about coming back because I had all my work done but i miss going out wit my room mate siani and plus i know her since i was a buck in south philly. So it was time for me to leave and all I could do was cry because I was leaving him. I know i was coming back and I knew he was coming to see me so I didn’t have no worries.But the last time i told him is congratz where having a baby. He was so happy but i don’t think I was so we got in the car and he took me to the airport where he was holding me so tight and kiss. Then we went our different ways .
Christmas Village Dream with Katrina
By: My Truong
Sitting in my room with my hot chocolate. The smell of it reminds me of the Christmas Village. Katrina, you told me that you were there a couple days ago and it was beautiful. You’re so lucky! I had always wanted to go to that place at night, seeing the sparkle of light, look at the high tall Christmas tree that I will never get to go. My family alway want to keep me in the house sitting and doing my homework. Come on now, does it look like I'm three? (ugrrrrr). I'm sixteen, maybe not old enough to do wild things but I’m old enough to go see the village with my friends, right?
A sixteen years old girl don't sit home and look at the television, watching Korean drama in bed, whining, and smelling the Christmas season. Look at how beautiful it is outside! Can you see the light sparkling, the smell of snow, the cold air that you breath in? Why do I have to sit here and drink chocolate ? ( silence for a second.) I don't get it. We live in America now. Even if we live in Vietnam at this age, I can do whatever but I guess not. They think it’s dangerous to go out at night. I hate that. It’s like a life in jail.
Wow what you said is not a bad idea Katrina, look at how big that window is. I could still totally fit through that window. Using a long rope, then climbing out to escape, but I don't know how to climb the rope. I could walk slowly downstairs and sneak out the house like you said, but are you sure that my mom wont find out? I don't think that’s safe. Maybe I should just ask them to bring me, but I want to to go with you guys. I’m stuck here with my family. But even when I asked them to bring me they will be like “I don't know the way” or “I’m busy.” See, this is what I hate whenever I asked them. They say they are busy but whenever they ask or should I say whenever they told me to go they can't even wait for five minute so I can finish changing.
Ugrrrrrrr Katrina help me I don't want to stay home anymore (crying). I don't even understand why I have to do this. I can't stand it anymore. Can they ever understand strict parents creates sneaky kids? Yes, maybe I can't go to the village at night or escape the house to sleep over your house but they don't know what I do in school. They told me I shouldn’t have a boyfriend but it looks like that rule doesn't apply to me. I could always find a way to hang out with him. I could always understand they want the best out of me but also making me become like one of those sneaky little girls is not the best out of me. The escape plan is on, but I have a better idea and a safer one too. I will try to ask my mom to let me go to your house for a sleepover and if she agrees, we go from there. (Someone knocks on the door so they stop the talking.)
That scare the crap out of me. I didn't know what to say when she ask me what we were doing in here. Then I saw a bunch of markers on the ground so the plan was that we were doing our project. That came to my mind. Good thing I said that.
Today is April 17,2008, my name is Athena in case I forget my name when I get oder and read my diary, I just turned 12 a few days ago. I was expecting my dad to call me on my birthday, but another year and I didn’t get a call from him again. I called him right before I started to write this diary, he didn’t answer once again, he ignored my call. I always tell my self maybe he is busy working, or is sleeping, I just make things up in my head and try to believe them because it hurts knowing the truth that he is actually ignoring my calls. I can memorize the operating lady that says “I’m sorry but the person that you are trying to reach is not available at this moment please leave a message after the beat” I don’t leave messages no more to my dad because he never receives them he says, I don’t think he knows I’m 12 years old or when is my birthday, because i think he still thinks that I’m that 8 year old girl that use to call him everyday and leave a message to him and then he use to call me back once in two weeks, I always asked him about the message I left him, he says he never gets them, but now I know he does. He lies to me. I always seen my friends in school with their dads playing on the swings, and their dads pushing them. Yesterday I sat on the swings while waiting for my mom to pick me up from school and I sat on the swings imagining him pushing me on the swings. I always wished and still wishing to have my dad to play with me. He comes to visit me, not often as I thought he was. The day he comes to visit me; puts a smile on my face, but then I realize while I’m getting older, that the love I had for my dad, slowly is turning into anger. My dad has a son he is 2 years old, and when I use to go over his house I use to watch him play with his son, I’ll admit it I do get jealous, when i see him playing with his son, I always wonder why he never played like that with me. My mom, I love my mother, she has always been there for me, she tried talking to my dad on how I feel, but my dad doesn't seem interested in it. I act different around him when he comes to visit me now, I still smile but then I think of the times he didn’t answer the phone when I was little, or when he just comes to visit me to give me some money, or take me out to eat or buy me things. Maybe he feels like he can buy me things and everything will be okay, but its not like that. I have feelings, I hope he knows that. I’m not the little girl that use to believe everything he use to say, the lies he said to me. I’m 12 and I have grown, and my mind is understanding a lot of things now. Sometimes I wish my dad would understand the feelings I have, but there is only one problem, if only he would actually sit down and listen to me. Sometimes I feel like no one loves me, no one understands me. I try talking to my mom but she has enough things to worry about. I’m young why am I dealing with this kind of problems at 12 ? I’m suppose to be worrying if my hair is perfect, my nails are painted pretty, but no I don’t have that in mind. I have my dad in mind. Why doesn’t he answer the phone. Im going to try again and call him. (Picks up the phone and dials her dads number and starts to call, Ring Ring Ring). He didn’t answer, I’m not surprised no more. I’m getting use to my dad not answering my phone calls. What upset me the most that he didn’t call me to wish me a happy birthday. I sometimes don’t want to hear from him again, but he is my dad. My mom says, to just give him time, that he is busy working. I gave him enough time, since I was 6 years old and now I’m 12 years old and he still doing the same thing, not picking up the phone. Lying to me. Making excuses up why he couldn’t call me for my birthday. I don’t know if he knows it but I’m getting tired of all his lies, his excuses, soon I’m going to grow older and not think about him, well he could cross my mind, but I’m going to be strong and just ignore him. I’m tired of all this. I should start doing my homework, i had enough of talking about my dad. English, and math homework and my 500 word essay on someone you admire isn’t gonna write it self. If only I had my dad here to write about him. I always wonder if he would be a good person to look up to. I’m never going to find out. I have never felt a love of a father. I wish I did. Sooner or later he is going to come to me and try to talk to me, but as how he did to me was ignore me, then I’ll do the same. I know I will always love my dad, but while the years go on, the anger will be taking over the little love I have for my dad. Well here goes another same old day, with out my dad around. Mom; if you ever find my diary and read this, don’t show this to dad. Its a secret. I love you mom.